10 Big Red Flags Your Relationship Is Going Downhill
by Eddie Corbano1. A lack of communication
A lack of communication is usually the first bad sign in a relationship, but also one of the earliest. If you are discontent with your partnership, cutting back conversation is the first step of an emotional retreat.
Does your partner avoid a longer conversation? Check out why.
2. A Change in behavior
Does your partner act differently lately? You partner was always a role model in punctuality, they aren’t any more. S/He is often late, without giving an explanation and might get aggressive when insisting.
Or s/he changes routines, that were a matter of course for years in your relationship, overnight.
Is there also a decrease in intimacy? No more of the cuddling and kissing you s/he used to do? Sex happens much less often?
These are just examples of a change in behavior to demonstrate what I mean. For you, it’s important to observe these changes, should they appear, and take them as a warning sign that something just might not be ok.
3. Avoidance of talking about the future
You used to talk about future vacations to foreign countries you have always planned to visit. You dreamed together of the cozy house, with the white picket fences, watching your children play in the front.
Take a look now if your partner refuses such thoughts or simply changes the subject.
That might be a red flag that something is going on.
4. Decisions are made alone
You used to always discuss everything regarding important decisions in your life, be it your life as a couple or as an individual. Now you find your partner is suddenly making very important decisions on their own, just presenting you the facts.
This could be seen as the first steps towards independence for your partner.
5. Unusual activities alone
You notice an unusual accumulation of activities your partner is doing alone. This is especially true for men.
Is your partner meeting old friends they haven’t seen in years? Working late? Discovering new places without you?
This is not always an indication of infidelity; it can also be spreading their wings for independence: the first steps into a new life (phase 3).
6. Hidden phone-calls
This is a classic one.
Do you catch your partner taking hidden phone-calls more often? The phone is ringing and s/he takes it somewhere else without answering it first? What does s/he hide?
This could be infidelity or just (as in 5.) looking for more freedom.
Be careful.
7. New circle of friends
Suddenly there are a bunch of new friends appearing out of the blue. They are very important to her/him.
Most of the new activities without you are now with them, shutting you out.
S/He is spending less and less time with you.
5 Must-See Related Posts:
About The Author:
Eddie Corbano is a breakup-coach, relationship-advisor and founder of LovesAGame. He suffered from a devastating break up in 1998. Since then, he dedicated his life to helping others getting the best of this existential experience. The overcoming of a break up is an important step to autonomy and independency. Eddie Corbano developed some new coaching programs, which focus on evolving inner strength and the power to set and reach any personal goal. (Article written on November 10th, 2007)
Show all posts by Eddie Corbano
10 Responses to “10 Big Red Flags Your Relationship Is Going Downhill”
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Recent Comments:
i love all that………… thanks ,for such a wonderful work ,done y U….!!!
HhH | November 20, 2009 | more»
thanks for this best poems
cedy mahlalela | November 20, 2009 | more»
thanks for Tejendra Pun, that poem wrote to someone but the meaning is for everyone that felt love
Andika Dhesta | November 20, 2009 | more»
I know that your break up was some time ago now but reading your story I am feeling the same way. My boyfriend broke up with me last week. I would like to...
caren | November 20, 2009 | more»
i like this poem very much because i touch my heart directly
tejendra pun | November 19, 2009 | more»
Another home run, Eddie! I love it! For me I got the basic bottom line is something we should be doing no matter what stage our relationship is in…Be Aware! As long as we are always paying attention to our significant other, we will always be in a situation where we can either keep injury from happening, stop the bleeding, or, pardon the analogy, cut and run. Great work again, Eddie!
Khalil
He Said She Said…A Love & Relationships Blog
http://www.khalilanddiday.com
I wish I had read this 10 years ago. I’m still recovering from that breakup.
The 10 steps really helped me out on what my man is doing. Now I see that he might be trying to end it with me. And here I feel it is all my fault but, it is not. He is just wishy washy and needs to grow up a lot more before he really decides what he wants in a relationship and I really guess it is not me.
If someone can please give me some advice on how to break up with my boyfriend. We have only been together for 4 months but it feels like forever… hes a really nice guy and he gets me whatever I want but im starting to feel he is just buying my affection. I dont find myself attracted to him at all and since we got together he doesnt have a life of his own. Im a 20 year old female with a two year old daughter, I told him when we got together I wanted to take it slow because I had been going through alot of stress and pain from my last boyfriend. Everything was good for the first week, now it just feels like he never wants to go home and he calls every hour when hes not at my house. I know it sounds pretty simple and i should just leave him, but its difficult for me to tell him this. How can I put it in a nicer way?
I am breaking up in tow weeks and I plan to write a letter sometimes that is the best when you feel things may get violent or the other person is going to try to talk you out of it.
dont feel bad cause its happen to me too it seem i gave in to much love and he didnt give the same percentage back i broke up with him when i went through his phone and found that he was texting this chick telling her how sexy she was i mean he doesnt tell me that at all and i was like pissed off at that and on top of that i found a condom in his wallet this is not the first time that this has happened i left this time and im not turning back because he hurt me bad what should i do
my heart is broken i been mith this guy for almost two yrs and i love him but he has been cheating on me i done forgave him i dont know how many times i left this time im just tired of it.
Wow, I am doing half of those right now to my wife. I am not having an affair, but I have been thinking of why I am married, for many years!! We married when were 20, 18 yrs ago. The main reason I have stayed around is because of the kids AND I hate failure!! Recently during business trips away from home, I’ve noticed more and more that I do not miss her. I just feel soo bad from a personal level to tell her after 18 yrs, I NEVER loved you?! What am I to do? It is eating me up inside, but I’m not sure where to go from here!! I MUST do something soon I can’t keep this inside much longer.
I wish I could have paid more attention to #3 – (Avoidance about talking of the future). But no more regrets!
Thanks for the list, it will definitely help the next time around.
@Ray – This is to Ray.
I commend you for wanting to stay in this relationship and make it work. There is nothing worse for kids than divorce, and I can see that it would break your own heart as well.
Did you know that our actions influence our attitudes far more than the other way around? When you smile, you start to feel happier. If you kick your dog, you will start to feel angry.
Act out your love for your wife. Buy her flowers. Call her in the middle of the day just to say hello. I don’t believe that you “never” loved her. Remember the things you used to love about her, the things you used to do together, and try to recapture some of those emotions.
Act it out until it becomes real.
Also, there’s a great book to help you along the way– it’s called The Love Dare. Try reading it. This is all about putting someone else first. Love her until it becomes a lifestyle again.
Best of luck!