10 Positive Break Up Quotes And What We Can Learn From Them

by Eddie Corbano
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It’s time for another “quotes” article.

This time it’s going to be a collection of some of the most inspiring break up quotes.

What we have had so far, (and many of you gave me positive feedback on those), was some interesting romantic quotes and celebrity broken heart quotes.

What is it that is so fascinating about break up quotes anyway?

First of all, they help us to realize that we are not alone out there. People have suffered from broken hearts back through hundreds of years.

Thinking that you are alone with your break up is not as absurd as many of you perhaps might think. One of the main characteristics of break ups is that we are overcome with overwhelming loneliness. Knowing that other people have had this problem too, and survived, gives you comfort and strength to hang in there.

On the other side, it’s always helpful to see another angle. Artists especially seem to have a different view of the world and life – their gift is to enliven the unaware. They help us to understand what we may already know in our minds, but the feelings in our heart resist believing.

So, I’ve collected the 10 most inspiring break up quotes for you, which not only sound good, but actually make you feel better and more positive about the future if you are going through a break up right now.

Here they are:

The 10 most positive and inspiring break up quotes:

  1. “‘Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.”

    —Alfred Lord Tennyson

    2. Everyone who has suffered from a broken heart at any time has heard this quote. Unfortunately it does not give comfort at the beginning, only years later will you realize its profoundness and value.

    When you understand its true meaning, then you’ll know that you’ve overcome your break up or divorce.

    It is one of my favorite break up quotes.

  2. “If you really love something set it free. If it comes back it’s yours, if not it wasn’t meant to be.”

    —unknown

    3. I heard this the first time in the movie Indecent Proposal. It illustrates the necessity of detachment, of “letting go” after a break up.

    If you can let go, you will receive.

  3. “You have to forgive to forget, and forget, to feel again.”

    —unknown

    4. There is no moving on without forgiveness, and more importantly: there is no new beginning while carrying “old emotional baggage”.

  4. “Those who do not know how to weep with their whole heart do not know how to laugh either.”

    —Golda Meir

    5. Experiencing the negative emotions is part of life. Only if we are able to go through them with our full consciousness can we also appreciate and benefit from the positive ones.

  5. “Relationships are like glass. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself putting it back together.”

    —unknown

    6. Sometimes relationships can’t be fixed. That is when it’s better to move on. Sad, but very often true.

  6. “Some people think that it’s holding on that makes one strong; sometimes it’s letting go.”

    —unknown

    7. Only when you are able to completely detach yourself, can you be free. After a break up, and elsewhere in life. Be a leaf floating in a river, not knowing where it might take you. This is true freedom.

  7. “The loss of love is not nearly as painful as our resistance to accepting it is.”

    —Tigress Luv

    8. Acceptance is one important step in healing from a break up. This is part of the painful first phase.

  8. “I’m going to smile and make you think I’m happy, I’m going to laugh, so you don’t see me cry, I’m going to let you go in style, and even if it kills me – I’m going to smile.”

    —Lone Star

    9. This is actually some great break up advice in two ways: first you are not being needy in front of your Ex, you demonstrate strength and your Ex may wonder if s/he has made the right decision.

    Also, constant smiling despite the fact that you feel terrible is a great way “to trick” your mind. By smiling, the body sends signals to the mind that you are happy, even if you are not. Eventually the mind WILL accept the state of the body.

    This is simple neuro-linguistic programming.

  9. “Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional.”

    —M. Kathleen Casey

    10. This is a great one.

    It means that you have the choice to accept the pain and not allow it to turn into suffering.

    One of the main reasons that mental pain turns into suffering is continual mental reasoning. We can break that vicious cycle by learning to control our thoughts.

  10. “I don’t miss him, I miss who I thought he was.”

    —unknown

It is a great accomplishment to realize that we loved a concept, a picture we had in our minds, rather than the person himself. When we break up, it’s this concept we miss, and what causes the pain is the failure of the same.

The minute we realize this, we can kick our Exes from the pedestal.

These were some of the best inspirational break up quotes I could find; I hope you’ve enjoyed them.

They teach us about detachment, the necessity to forgive and let go, to live life to the fullest with all its dark sides, acceptance, neuro-linguistic programming, mental control and the existence of false pictures.

All virtues for overcoming a break up, and you are now one step closer to finding the secret of how to get over a break up.

For that arduous task, I wish you all the best.

Your friend,

Eddie Corbano

My Recommendation For Further Reading:

5 Must-See Related Posts:

About The Author:

Eddie Corbano is a breakup-coach, relationship-advisor and founder of LovesAGame. He suffered from a devastating break up in 1998. Since then, he dedicated his life to helping others getting the best of this existential experience. The overcoming of a break up is an important step to autonomy and independency. Eddie Corbano developed some new coaching programs, which focus on evolving inner strength and the power to set and reach any personal goal. (Article written on March 3rd, 2008)
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  • paintedlady
    Well i have read most of these stories about break ups on here and all of them are extremely personal to the poster and sad. Everyone has such a sad story to tell as i do also - so here goes...

    Me and my guy had been together 3 years, we had laughed, loved, cried, supported each other through family trials and tribulations, in fact we really were soulmates. Originally he could not understand the word 'love' when i told him i loved him but after i explained what it was about he told me a few months later he had been thinking and came to the conclusion that yes, he did love me. We went everywhere together as much as we could and had a great compatible physical relationship.

    Then after 2 years he seemed a bit distance from me, little things i could not put my finger on bothered me and with hindsight i suppose i should have queried his behaviour but carried on as before.

    Just 3 months ago, when we had been together 3 years he changed in a lot of ways towards me which confused me somewhat and then i found out he had been cheating on me with someone from his workplace. He did not tell me himself i did a little detective work on my own and sure enough i saw him with this OP who is nothing like myself which confuses me more! I confronted her and she did not even know i existed and was shocked, not as shocked as i was because i would never imagined he had anything to cheat on me for. I immediately called off the relationship and advised her to do the same as 'once a cheat etc' and have not seen him since. But i truly miss him, still in love with him and it hurts. Some days are better than others and i feel he must surely miss me (does anyone want to comment on that)? I dont think there is any going back though, i just wish things had never happened at all.

    How can people do that to another person, why cannot they be honest and talk things over if things are going wrong in a relationship and put things right, instead of cheating?

    I would love to turn back time but know i cannot, but right now i can not move forward. How do i do this and does anyone think he will feel sorry for what he did eventually, or even come back to me? Please would appreciate any feedback whatsoever, especially from the guys point of view.
  • Nathan
    Hi Eddie,

    I thought you might be interested to know that quote #8 might actually be part of the chorus from Lone Star's "I'm Gonna Smile." The words are quite similar:

    "I'm gonna smile
    Cause I want to make you happy
    Laugh
    So you cant see me cry
    I'm gonna let you go in style
    And even if it kills me
    I'm gonna smile"

    That's one of the songs I had playing on loop during the first stage following my breakup; I still listen to it occassionally these days. A similar one I quite enjoy is Tim McGraw's "Just To See You Smile."

    Ta.
  • Thanks, Nathan.

    Actually this was pointed out a few times by now in the comments, but I never got around to change it in the article. Until now!

    I will check that song out!
  • george
    I loved my girlfriend, we would always party and i hated it. So we stopped because we both agreed it'd be healthier for our relationship. On our two year anniversary I went to go see a boxing match at a friends house. I started drinking and i got wasted and she came and picked me up. I thought we were going home but we were going to where one of her fake friends was partying at. This fake friend does ANYTHING to convince my gf that being single is better (even though she has a baby and still goes out and parties instead of being with her kid). So then we go to that party after me begging for us not to go. We get there we get down and I cant even walk, i had to be carried to where the party was at. I then got "hit on" by a girl while my gf was away and the girl took my hand and took me into a room and we had sex for a little bit cause i got out of her asap and told her it was wrong. The girl was pissed that i did that so the next day she claimed i had "raped" her. my gf was embarrassed and we went through the craziest drama but she stayed with me. It was 10 months of court process and before court the girl confessed that it wasn't rape. She was just jealous that i chose my gf over her. That i wasn't willing to break up with my gf for her. (what a bitch, yea i know). So then after my court is cleared i thought everything would be better, but soon my gf broke up with me and wants time to "heal". She says she loves me but she doesn't think we can be together unless we move on separately then later on maybe get back together. I can't give her up. We were together for 3 years. She wants to be my close friend and always have me there. Do you guys think she might still love me and get back with me soon? or is she just suffering from attachment and as soon as she finds someone she can "crush" on shell move on?
  • Ronyaa
    coming from someone who's going thru something very similar to yours,minus the rape and court part,i think you should give her,her space and if she loves you then she'll come back and if she doesn't come back then you need to move on because you guys weren't meant to be,it's hard i know but sometimes the easiest thing isn't always the right thing.:) good luck
  • Persian_bruha
    i met my boyfriend in the internet so happened he was in the same city as i was.. the first 5 months were great then i started to see sign of frustration like he was tired of some things i did one of them was dancing because im a dancer.so in 9months things started to fade but dont get me wrong we saw each other 6 times a week.coz if i didnt poush myself to see him i know we'd drift apart. i just went on to college and my bf started getting jealous with all the guys around me asking my number because im a new face...led to fights and screaming on the phone and crying til one day he broke up with me in the ineternet which hurt me a lot because he didnt have much to say all he said was he wanted a break -up i didnt even get any closure or explanation.3 days later i found out he had hooked up with one of my highschool friends :(( its been a year since i broke up with my boyfriend.i still dont have anyone new.i stopped trying because im waiting for the day and wishing the right person would find me.Recently i met this guy in the internet iliked him alot and i thought the other way around was coming along too.But now i dont know anymore :(
  • John Wood
    you seem like a sweet girl Bruha, becareful online alright guys lie a lot.

    If you want some advice, here they are. He was a very unhealthy guy he show all the signs, he not confident of himself the reason for the jealousy and anger, high chance of him becoming verbally abusive, and physically too. He doesn't seem like all that, he couldn't control his emotion, there for losing you. I can't said exactly but it seem like he couldn't take the self inflicting pain he was creating for himself, so he back out.

    I was exactly like him 2 years ago, but the girl i liked was fake, i didn't realize that. I end up imprisoning my self. It wasn't until i realize that I free my self of the pain and suffering. We should learn to forgive, holding on to pain anger will only inflict more pain to us.
    Try to forgive him and continue your journey, no need to hold on to it anymore, for it will bring you grief and pain.

    -Sincerely John
  • Loveandbeauty
    I just ended it with my 14 month long boyfriend a couple day ago...as hard as it was, I needed the right guy for me. Don't get me wrong, the guy was as good as he could be, but I could barely go to him with my emotional problems without him calling me dramatic and starting a fight. So I stopped going to him for help and kept everything to myself and it eventually got to me and put me in a dark place. When I let him go, I felt relieved...but sad. I know we are going to be friends, eventually, we both agreed on this. But I find myself telling him "I miss you," and I get so angry at myself. But I know in my heart, I will find that guy and I will have courage and strength to move on. I've had breakups before, but this is the worst, only because this is the most serious/longest one i've had, but I know I did the right thing, and I am proud of myself and I don't regret anything that I did.
  • Sad Indiana!
    I'm 32 and my boyfriend is 27, he recently relocated to another state to pursue a different career and the original idea was that I was supposed to meet up with him in a couple of months...The couple of months went by and all of a sudden the calls and txt messages seemed to be shorter and less sweeter..no more goodnight baby..only plain goodnight and when I confront him about the move...he stops calling me for 5 days and tells me that he has to figure things out in his life and to this point its best if we stay friends...I get very upset and reply that at this moment I'm not ready to do that and when I am I will contact him...I will be taking a trip out of the country and hope to God that this will help me forgive and forget..I have staid strong and not called or begged..even though I have intense feelings of dropping everything and going to California to see him...but I wouldnt have a place to stay and what if he found another girl? ...He states that he has always cared about me and he never meant to hurt me...Guys please tell me what that means...and he only says that he cares about me deeply and not once mentioned he loves me anymore :(
  • Pooja
    he is just tryin 2 go away frm u but he really don wana hurt u so he used tis way.....
  • LostinNJ
    This may be long. A little over a year ago June 2009, My ex *Mark broke up with me after 4.5 years leaving me heartbroken. I mended the pieces on my own pretty quickly with a 2-week trip to Europe and knowing he wasn't the one for me anyway. Three months later I met *Tom and although I wasn't ready for love so quickly, it sort of found me. We were hooked on eachother instantly and he was everything my ex wasn't plus more, he was everything I ever wanted in a man. Only problem is, he cannot handle emotions. He stopped being affectionate about 6 months in, shortly after he said "I love you" first and wanted to live with me. Everything seemed fine other than that except for lack of communication on feelings. He'd had a rough year, got laid of with the economy for 5 months and then got a new job which he hates. He always threatened "I don't fight, I walk away and shut down". The other night I was a little bummed that he was too tired from his 12-hour day to hang out, but didn't yell about it, just whined a little. He hung up on me, turned his phone off, deleted Facebook alltogether and has not returned any of my phone calls or texts for 5 days now. He's shut down and I can't understand why. I want to approach him and ask him what happened but not sure how to do this since he won't answer my phone calls. He's almost 32, I'm almost 30 this is not the way adults act. I know men find it hard talking about emotions, but I don't think I deserve such disrespect. How do I approach him (at his house or after work) or should I just let it go? I need some answers from him in order to get over this (10.5 month relationship) that seemed to be heading for a future. He promised he wasn't going anywhere and that I had nothing to worry about with him, so I don't understand this.
  • Lovesick
    A guy I TRULY loved said he loved me then one day he straight up told me that he was in love with his ex and not me. I cried my self to sleep that night then the next day I saw him at school and cried 4-5 times and then he said that he still liked me, though.
    Advice.
  • Jeff
    There are better guys out there, and plenty of us. It's hard to lose a loved one, but it get's easier. Time heals all wounds. Let this one go.
  • Jwelhaus
    Respect yourself and move on Lovesick. If he can't get over his ex, then why should you let him use you as a rebound. Remember, you have a lot to offer and if he doesn't see that, than he isn't ready to move on. I know this hurts, but you will be better off if you let him go now.
  • Infinity
    Dear Eddie,
    i came to the stage that I have to start talking to myself while I was driving and on the way to office. Telling myself that stop fantasizing me and my ex, stop being snooping on his trails in the office, his car, if he signs on the communicator; stop being childish and having hope again about what-if he still miss me, love me or want me; stop wondering if he has gone out with someone; if he has stopped hating me and start accepting me again... telling myself that appreciate people around me, the earth and nature ..tree, enjoy Now ...
    I just start realizing the strength is slipping off again, the feeling is going down hill once again.
    I dont feel good and if i am heading to a right direction.
    Need advise.
  • venessa
    My boyfriend just broke up with me after he found out thet he and 20 other ppl were awarded 30+ million in a civil law suit. I was the onw who helped him through the entire process from beginning to end. I can't believe him but i am better off. I just want to sleep at night and not think about what could have been...
  • Nashgirl63
    Please...quit being her doormat. She has no respect for you and she never will. You are obviously a caring and decent guy and don't deserve a lifetime of lying and cheating! Please, please, please...love yourself first!
  • navyman22
    i dont get it i dated this girl for two years and things were really good at first then she started lying to me and doing shady things behind my back and i found out she cheated on me. she kissed this kid once and i broke up with her and then a week later she felt so bad and begged for me back and i took her back thing were great for the next year and a half and i was about to leave for the military and i ended up asking her to marry me she said yes. so we started planning everything. well one weekend i had to take my cousin back to her house which is 7 ours from my house so i decided to leave friday and come back sunday night. well my fiance said ok thats cool im going to have a girls night out saturday. well she ignored me all day saturday didnt text or call didnt even answer her phone. well her and my best friend are also good friends and he called me up saying she was with this guy. well sunday came and she called me at 7am and she talked for about an hour then said she wanted to get in the shower. she never called me back two hours later she texted me we need a break. i came home and she spent the night in a hotel with him and all that shit. i broke off the engagment and she was really depressed and 3 days later she called crying saying she was sorry and she needed me back she swore on her life that they only kissed. she said she just needed time to think so i gave her time. a week passed by and i called her saying well whats going on bc your leaving to go to school in a week(4 hours from my house) and i leave in three weeks. she said ok well me and this guy are only buddies i promise so you have nothing to worry about. she said lets hangout on monday blew me off. she promised me everyday and came up with a reason why she couldnt see me. she leaves tomorrow and i got mad bc she didnt come see me today and now i wont see her for a long time. also she called me today saying i threw the ring away you bought me and the ring i bought you i gave to the guy and btw were dating and fucking beem for about a month before you asked me to marry you...im really depressed now and it hurts really bad..any advice...i dont understand why girls do this shit to me
  • listentome
    wow what a freaking bitch !!! u need to stop being dumb and letting this dumbass hurt u . sorry for my language! There are so many good girls out there trust me. thats enough broken promises she'll never change. u needa kick her out of your life and be proud of it
  • lil miss silly
    Today, I am glad to be back here after quite some time. And to tell you all the good news. Well, for me.

    My ex, that I had been together for 3 years just got married. And I'm not hurt at all. :)

    I am just so glad I overcame him. And I'm sure, all of you will do the same. God bless you all! :)
  • kitaaa
    I'm 6 months pregnant with my son. My boyfriend and we just broke up a week ago. It's so hard to hear that he doesn't want me anymore. I don't want to raise my child without him...I'm just trying to find motivation to get me through until the day my baby is here. I'm scared everday for what's going to happen. I hope he mans up for us. I'm the only one working, housekeeping. Just seems like he would want to be around for his son...
  • Becca
    I'm Five months pregnant and broke up with my boyfriend because I don't want to be with him. I work two fulltime jobs and he sits on his butt like he doesn't need to work. He's not ready to be a man but wants to be there for this baby. He's gotta grow up but we wont be together. People do this all the time. They raise their child alone, If he doesn't wanna be a father now.. than he doesn't deserve to be one later. :( Be strong. Your more than capable of giving your son enough love for 2315 people. Don't let it stress you. If he wants to be there he will come around :) Everything will be okay. Tough times don't last, Tough people do. Your a mother and you will be a strong positive one!
  • kish
    in 2009 feb my girl friend get married with someone.i tryed a lot to forgot her, but i cant. i dont no what to do..every min i remeber her. she is my life.she is everything for me.it seems my life passing away from me..
  • Skagenjj
    Just keep breathing...you WILL be fine.
  • Adevil99
    i felt that way once, he didnt marry, just wouldnt be with me anymore. i thought i would die! i loved him, i still do, but if the world were to split now, id stay on the side im on. cuz now i with someone who loves me. after experiencing them both, this is better. 9 years married with 2 kids. i wonder what it would have been like with him sometimes. but wouldnt trade to find out. ull be ok. move on, ull see.
  • Sandy
    Practice forgiveness. Once you forgive you can move on. Believe me. It works. It did for me. Best of luck and love to you.
  • Cmrandolph13
    Well, I just broke up with a boyfriend after two years, and then AFTER we broke up I found out he had been screwing around on me the entire time! I'm just sick over it. He used me, lied to me, made me feel like a complete idiot and now he's out there feeling cocky and having a good time while I sit here dying inside. I don't want him back. I don't ever want to see him again. What I want, and the part that hurts, is for him to actually feel bad about it. I keep telling myself that if he had any conscience at all he wouldn't have done it to begin with, why should I expect him to have a conscience now? I just want him to hurt like I'm hurting. is that too much to ask? (I know it is, just had to say it.) But that's the part I'm having a hard time letting go of.
  • wrace
    You are right. If he had any conscience, he wouldnt have pulled those shits on you to begin with. Just keep telling yourself that. If he even cared a slight bit about you, he wouldnt have done what he did knowing he could hurt you in the end.Your situation is a lot like mine. I still dont understand to this day how somebody can hurt me like that and walk away like it never happened. Sometimes i still want him to realize how wrong he treated me and i didnt diserve any of these pain. Well, there are people who just dont care and break hearts without any trouble of conscience. What can you do when somebody just doesnt care? when they dont care, you cant hurt them. When you still care, you give them the power to continue hurting you. Why would you care about the ones that dont care about you? I dont know how am i able to just let it go. But you'll get to a point where you realize that you have to let it go and start letting yourself heal.Letting go is the first step towards healing. No one can help unless you choose to make a decision to let go, a decision towards healing. He doesnt worth your attention or time. Focus on YOU and YOUR life.It's up to you to choose to let go.
  • Naylea1212
    I just moved out of my ex boyfriends apartment, we had been together 5 years, truth is he was too immature and thought it was ok to not come home till 5 in the morning everyday because he was hanging out with his friends. When I asked him why he didnt have the courtesy to call me or answer any of my calls ALL night he would say he forgot his phone. Leaving was the hardest thing I've ever had to do and till this point Im dying to go back but Im doing my best to resist. I looked up quotes to give me motivation and some help but only time can heal me I guess...
  • Brokenharted
    It's been 7 months since my ex and me spilt. Out of a 3 year realtionship high school sweethearts. I loved him with everything I had but he is stubborn he left me. I believe if u want a realtionship to work u fight for it and I did a whole 3 months to truly get back together. Days don't get easier if anything they get harder. It's hard to tell yourself to stop loving something that became natural to you for so long. I'd give anything to go back to how it was. We never cheated or lied. We had fun. I just loved him more then he loved me. So it's hard and hopefully I will look back at this and be with someone else.
  • Guest
    I am literally going through the same exact thing as you. Three years in, and I broke up with him in January of this year. It's been harder some days, easier others, and he's already moved on to someone who he thinks could be "the one." How is that supposed to make me feel? I just have to think that we grew apart, and that I'm better off without him now. Stay strong. You're better than any bad thing life can throw at you.
  • Ellene_1924
    how will i know if i truly love him?
  • lil miss silly
    if you become teary thinking of him... and the fact that he doesn't feel the same way as you do. well, in my case, that's it. :(
  • Hope
    I just broke up w/ my boyfriend of 5yrs..the only guy I’ve been with in my life. He was too emotional attached to me to the point where he tried to isolate himself from everyone around him b/c he just wanted to spend time with me. He would get mad easily for the stupidest things...I just couldn’t do it anymore. I didn’t know how bad this would hurt. I honestly thought I would just get over it and move on without the all this pain. But every second I think of him and my heart doesn’t want to listen to my mind right now. I guess this is a just another lesson in life we all have to go through...i keep telling myself that no pain lasts forever.
  • wgrace
    How's everybody doing with the broken hearts?

    It's been 4 months after my breakup with the liar ex. Getting over somebody is realy not easy. Over the past 4 months, i've been going through the kind pain i didnt even know exist. Sometimes i'm mad and angry, other times i'm just sad and hurt. I know it's not worth it, he's not worth it. I know i should have moved on a long time ago. I rebounded and revenged, but too this day i'm still in pain.

    Memory is the hardest part. I have been tripping down the memory lane countlessly. I just keep having those fash backs of our past times. Even though it was all illusion but i was in love and happy. I just dont understand how it could all end to this. Rationally i understand it well the simple fact that he just played me and it just wasnt meant to be from the start. But emotionally it was ME who was there, gave her all and had her heart broken so i dont know how i'm suppose to just put this behind me and move on.

    I guess the reason i wouldnt let go sooner is because he was my first love and i was really in love, well, at least that's what i thought at the time. We broke up mostly because i was able to sense that he didnt care and wouldnt never commit. And then two month later, i found out he was actualy married and had a child. That just added a new level of pain.I was coned and played. I couldnt yell or throw things at him because he was back to canada. I wrote emails to confront him and he admitted it all and said he never loved me.Yet for me it should take more than just a cold-facts email to disillusion me. I wrote emails to him to vent, rebunded and even revenged. I'm not proud of doing those things but i just didnt know how could i deal with this pain all by myself. I still dont.

    Sometimes i feel better and move on a little. Other times i fell back and can dwell all back into the pain again. I try not let my mind go there but sometimes i just cant help it and each time it would drag me down again.

    After the revenge, things between us went competely urgly.( after tried, i wouldnt recommend it to anyone, it's not worth it to drag youself down again even to get back at him) He called me a loser and never wanted to speak or see me again(well, like we were actually going to). But when i thought he couldnt possibly hurt me anymore, he did. We both said hurtful and mean words. There was no turning back. After that, i fell a big time into the mess i had been in. That's when i realized that i still cared. That i still dreamed about the day he would realize how wrong he had treated me and that he would crawl back to ask another chance. Stupid me uh?

    Now that i just have to deal with the fact that i was treated wrong but he wouldnt never come back. I dont know why i still care.There are always people who could be cruel enough to break our heart like that. It's not fair that we were left a wreck and picking up the pieces. It's not fair that i have to go through the pain when i dont dserve them. All i wanted was to be loved. It still hurt a lot everytime i think about how much i cared and still care and that person just wouldnt care back. Why do i have to bring this pain on myself? Even when i try to move on, i still feel the pain. I now know it's not meant to be but stil i have a hard time dealing with it. Who doesnt want a happy ending with the one they love? As stupid as it sounds, i really loved him.

    I wondered when would i find closure and thought that would be the time i could finally let go. But maybe you just never" find" closure or not the kind closure you want. But it is what it is. I guess now i just how to tough up and move on anyway.

    How did you guys move on when you thought you really loved someone?
  • Hurtsalot
    wgrace, i am in the same situation you are.... i just found out because i confronted him but i knew a couple of things going into this as well.. like most things in life you never expect that it would get to this point.. i never thought that after 2.5 yrs later i would be here.. NOT AT ALL.. and neither did he.... we talk about it all the time how we are together and what needs to be done.. do we leave or stay? Im in the limbo... but he knows and i know that my heart is leaning to leave only because it hurts too much to stay... but when i think of him being out of my life it hurts even more. We talk every single day, see each other, the whole nine yards... he is not a liar or not genuine, we just met at the wrong time and to be honest i didnt want anything more at the time and now my heart and emotions became involved without me knowing it. And he says the same thing... we are stuck but he has another life as well and i am the other side that he wants to be in but cant. It hurts really bad. I am so confused... he says lets see where this goes and we have invested so much, etc but then i think you cant reassure me either... its a risk and i dunno how much i can take of it. Im hurting really bad, that i have lost weight, cant sleep on anxiety meds, everything... he is my best friend and i am his... it will hurt extrememely the day i cut off all contact which i am trying to do but i dont know if i am ready.... how do i get through this? I start medical school in a couple of weeks and he is pushing me to look forward to that, he has helped me in all ways and is there when i need him, but he is not the one married to me. Who knows what the future may hold, i have no idea if our feelings will be so overwhelming that something ends up happening or they dwindle over time... only time can tell and we dont have a crystal ball and i think thats my thing.. i want to know. I try to do everything i can to break free but it hurts... the only think i can say is that i am there with you and i know how it feels. I can only say is to say to yourself THIS TOO SHALL PASS.... And remember that God places people in your life that you NEED not the ones you WANT at the time.... take that and listen to what your feelings are telling you...seek help by any means, email me if u like, blog here, scream in your house whatever will help you.. but understand you are not alone... i wish there was a pill to take it away but this is our life and we need to take it back. Closure is within you.... in your heart.. when YOU are ready.. leave when ur ready... get him out of your heart when you are ready and strong enough... you will get there... this too shall pass hun... for my sake as well =)
  • n/a
    It is crazy how many of us experience this enormous pain. I broke up with my ex 3 months ago completely after we were trying to work things out for 1 year. I should have leave him back then when I found out that he cheated on me, but I beleive in giving people a second chance. He never admitted anything but I found his emails. God knows how much I loved him, and still do. It feels now that I was in some kind of dream. I still cannot accept that he could do it to me, because we were so close, like a family. It still hurts so much, I wake up at nights with terrible anxiety, I am so depressed. I fell like a shit, disrespected and like a doormat. I was closing my eyes on him being out all the time with his friends and coming back home late. He never wanted to take me to vacation with him but would go with his friends. He would always say" YOU are my women, I love you", but treat me like I am nobody for him. I helped him to recover all his money he invested in real esate when the market crashed and he almost lost everything. I signed up as a guarantor on his mortgage without being on the title or wanting anyhthing back for it. I was so stupid. Now his condo raised in value, I m still a guarantor, and he is not selling it. It is just not fair!I trusted him and gave him everything I could. I immigrated to Canada from Ukraine, I am alone in the country and have nobody to rely on.This longliness and fear is loss of loved one is killing me. I hope one day I will not be sick again.
  • lizzy
    taking one day at a time. center on yourself by doing things that make you feel good. be around possitive people that upllft you. if you taught yourself disipline with losong weight, quit smoking. so now use thar disipline for losing the love of your life,[you thought].realizing you cannot make him love you so set him free. later after the breakup settles, their will be a time you will run into him and have no emotion what so ever. you may end up friends, what ever happens do not keep hate or resentment in your heart. it is poison to the soul. go out with friends and just do fun things . each day will get a little bit better. just do not go in that bedroom and weep a pity party . get dresses up and go to a party . time does heal all wounds.
  • SAN
    hi wgrace. i do also have a bad and worst experience with my bestfriend who as well became my lover and even we were married, we still pursued what we wanted. yet somehow i really felt he was just using me and i was just submissive because of the reason I dont want him to let go and i dont want to loose him, not just that he was my bestfriend, i cared a lot for him. it took me 15 years but untill now i hoped one day we will still be friends perhaps. i read a quote and i hope this will also help you to move on... "People who succeed in life are often those who know consciously or unconsciously to make the most of their talents, their advantages and their strenghts, while understanding how to maintain control over their weakness". i hope we can both learn to be tough and show that we are not loosers but instead its such a lost for him that he had let you go. And even if you have problems, even you have done things you regret, or have made mistakes, your whole future still lies ahead of you. if you can just keep moving forward telling yourself "I'LL START FROM TODAY, I'LL START AFRESH FROM NOW ON, FROM THIS MOMENT". Then a whole new world of possibilities will open up before you... SAN
  • vivi84
    How long will it take for me to find closure
  • Wgrace1030
    Dont know your case. But i havent find closure even after 4 months.
    The fact is clear, he didnt care and played me like a fool. You think it's shame on him and i should have moved on long ago but i couldnt. I found out he was acutally married and had a wife back in canada. All i got was an email telling me the hard facts he should have told me from the start. You wonder how i find closure..i dont know. Sometimes you just never find the kind closure you want to. Guess you'll just have to live with it and hope time will heal.
  • youbishhh
    Well Hi Idk You But I Know Wat Your Going Thru & I'd Say A Couple Of Weeks But In thos Weeks You'll Find Someone Worthh It(:
  • Vince
    I just got out of a 3yr realationship..I loved her and she loved me back..We always argued and we always fought..But we had some very good times..But i guess the memories is what hurts the most..No matter how much i try to forget..It hurts even more..When will this go away??
  • Christina W.
    Same exact situation im in. It all depends on how fast you heal. It will take a while because u really loved her but u just have to realize it just wasn't meant to be or u guys would be together happy. I mean who know's, it might just be the wrong time. But u can't think as if she'll come back. The easiest way to get over someone is to make yourself better. Live for u. Imagine life without her, and do things that will strengthen ur own life so u can jump back in the market with confidence. Eventually you will find the one who takes your mind off of her. It will be extremely hard but u gotta believe that u can move on. Give yourself time to be sad, but also give yourself time grow and move on. Goodluck buddy.
  • survior
    A few month i guess. Just live your life and you will creat new momories with someone new to replace the old ones. Go out and meet people, it helps me.
  • Dereyes47
    Im going through the same thing here man. Just ended a five year relationship with my girlfriend. I never thought it'll hurt this bad
  • Ssudheerkumar89
    my love is gone
  • suvivor
    Thanks, Angela and whoever read my post regarding the lair exboyfriend.
    It's nice to know someone's been there and you are not complete alone.

    Just want to tell everyone that i feel much better now. Still it's hurts sometimes,because it happend and it's there.It is what it is. You cant change that but you can learn from it. Let it make you stronger and wiser. Wallow in some self pity but dont dwell on it cause it prevent you froming going forward and life is about gong forward.Pain is inevitable, but suffering is opptional. It is a learning experience and all the experience we had leaded us to where we are and who we are now. Dont lose your heart and believe that someday, someone's gonna see it and fall in love with it.

    These are the thoughts i developed to stay positive and going forward in life. Hope it can help the ones that need it.

    Just move forward, keep living, loving and learning.
  • Angela
    After nearly 9 years I broke up with my ex about a year ago. He was going through a separation at the time with his ex wife and moved with her and didn't tell me. He moved out of state and I found out that he went back to her without telling me, cut off all communication and never told me. Just like that.
    Pain is tough, everyday is a new day. The lies are the worst part. Don't know how you can let those go and not being able to close the hurt and tell him how I feel about what he did. Just have to move on I suppose.
  • One love
    i can relate to many of these stories. I have been deeply in love and also felt the brain twisting, gut wrenching , pain at the realization a relationship is ending. I once heard love is pain. So without the pain how would we know we really loved? If everything is only ever a bliss.
    My love story is one that is full of love,laughter, sacrifice, determination, turning a blind eye to lies, cheating, and hanging on to a thread of hope for change. The more I realized there was deception the more I loved, tried and kept hoping for change.
    Looking back I realize that it was me that loved madly and deeply, because he could be everything I needed. He was everything I dreamed of and I wanted my ex bf to be. He was the first man I didn't question being faithful to, the first man that I wanted to have children with, and marry.
    It did not bother me that he was unable to support me financially,because I believed that in time with me helping him along he would find the love in his heart to do this. And it did not bother me that for a living he was a part time model. The pictures I seen always included near nudity either on his part or the female model. But that was his work before I met him so I went along with it. However it did bother me that we were in a long distance relationship. And our time apart was based on when I could afford to take the time off and money to travel. So some times it was three weeks apart and sometimes it was 4 months. In our times apart there was always some major thing he forgot to tell me, that hurt like hell. Or some woman on his facebook, saying something that hurt me. I am not a stupid woman, I wrote the players handbook in my day. How is it I turned a blind eye to all the signs? How is it that I continued this relationship, I would always say sorry for being a psycho and really try to win him back.
    There are 11 years between him and I. I knew he was younger than me in the beginning, but thought no more than 4 years. I have always had a problem with the numbers, but never noticed an age difference when spending time together.
    I have been living with him for two months, we were to be married a month ago. However, he left his facebook logged on and wow! the truth does set you free.(facebook now deactivated...hmmmm) All those signs I seen and denied, all that womens tuition i ignored, all the accommodating to his needs, and dieting, botox, and lip injections did nothing.
    If I was to walk away I feel like I would fall over and die. So, I stay as close to him as possible, but it gets exhausting to be a CSI detective, when all I want is love and peace of mind.
    HELP!

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