1. Have A Relationship Plan For The Future
Know where you are heading. Have a light at the end of the tunnel.
What do you want to accomplish in your partnership? Have goals and a time frame for when you want to be together. It is very important that you both have a hope to live for.
Have a light at the end of the tunnel.
I think that this is the most common reason why some relationships over distance don’t work – they don’t have a plan. They just hope it will turn out right eventually, and that a miracle is going to happen.
Certainly this also means you will have to make sacrifices. At least one of you.
Realize that you most likely only have three options:
- she moves to him
- he moves to her
- both move to another place
Start talking about it as soon as you realize that you want to be together. The biggest mistake you can make is to hush it up.
2. Meet Regularly
Try to see each other every month, at least once. Plan this ahead, and include some activities like town visits, museums, a weekend in a fancy hotel, etc.
Make it a celebration, an explosion – something very special!
Soon these short meetings will be something you long for, something that you will align your life around.
Remember, you can only get a real connection by touching, feeling and smelling a person. You don’t get scent with email or skype, or that initial wow you feel inside when you see your love.
So do everything you can to meet at least once a month.
3. Use Modern Technologies To Communicate
You need all the help you can get, so why not use the glorious benefits of a modern communication world:
- Get an e-mail account if you do not have one, and write at least one e-mail to each other every day
- Use Skype or something similar to talk to each other for free. Believe me, it’s awesome watching a movie together while simultaneously talking to each other
- Use Instant Messaging
- Use digital photographs or take videos of your daily activities and send them via e-mail
- Use a webcam, (this I can highly recommend)
Using all this electronic stuff will make it much easier for you both.
Imagine how it used to be 100 years ago, when a letter used to take months.
4. Give Yourselves A Free Day
This one-sided communication – I mean with no physical interaction – can sometimes frustrate you very intensively. It is possible that this frustration then turns to conflicts between you as an outlet for it. This could lead to misunderstandings that are very difficult to resolve per e-mail.
Believe me one thing – you do not want to have a fight over e-mail or phone.
I found it very helpful to insert a day or two without any communication. What happens then is that you miss each other very intensely, and you usually find yourselves at a much higher level than you were before.
If the only way of interaction between you is canceled for a day or two, you will either progress or doubt. In any case, you will know where you stand. This is also a good way to test the strength of your relationship.
5. Write Extensive And Intimate E-mails
“The most important thing here is – be honest!”
Open yourself up completely.
Write about your inner state, what you are feeling, what you dream about, what you hope for.
As a rule of guidance, describe in your e-mails, your inner state and in your phone-calls, your outer state.
Writing is more intense than verbal communication and allows you to be more intimate. That will create a tighter bond between you.
The most important thing here is – be honest! Don’t pretend you are someone you are not. Don’t put yourself in a better light.
You will only have a chance if both people are completely honest and congruent.