Hi Eddie
I was just randomly strolling through long distance sites and I came upon this one.
I must say it’s helped me a lot. Thank you for taking the time to write this!

I’m currently in a long distance relationship. We’ve been together about 6 months. 4 of them were spent mostly apart but we’re trying out best to make it work.
But I’ve got a few questions I was hoping you could help me with.

We talk almost every night on the phone or on IM. And some nights it’s incredibly boring. Or sometimes we’ll talk for maybe 30 minutes and then he’ll get very quiet and won’t respond to anything I say. I’ll have to repeat things more than once. So I end up going to bed after that because It gets tiring, having to repeat it or say his name to make sure he’s still awake.

Also, I am a very jealous person. I trust him completely but that still doesn’t mean that I don’t get jealous. But ok. He told me he hates his ex. Like her called a few select names and then a few months later she tells me he’s been confiding in her about taking the easy way out. And really, I don’t understand what happened. First he hated her and now he confides in her. It makes me think they made up or talked about what happened. And I can’t confront him about this because I promised her I wouldn’t say anything.

Or there are times when he won’t call for a few days and it makes me jump to conclusions and whatnot. Then he calls and acts like he didn’t do anything.

I want it work. And I’m trying my best.
But he has lied to me in the past (he didn’t tell me he flew back and I had to hear it from my best friend) and then I found out.

Also what are ways to make the relationship unboring?

Thanks for your help in advance!

hi eddie,
i hve really liked ur site.. i have a little problem of talking to girls.. i mean, many times i see a beautiful girl in a club or college fest, and its like i am too hesitant to go to her and ask her for a drink etc… Most of the time it happens because girls move in packs and it feels realy awkward to approach a girl in a group.. Sometimes its pure hesitation… I mean i dont know wat to say- how to start the conversation… i hope u understand wat i mean…
please help me in this regard…

Eddie,

Thanks for the article, I don’t usually look to the internet for advice, but I’ve gotten myself confused lately and it’s very helpful for direction. So, my boyfriend and I met at the start of the year and fell very hard in love over the few months due to our circumstances (we were living and working together on a boat, so intimacy and getting to know each other happened at warp speed). When I left, he wanted me to remain his girlfriend, even though I knew it would be hard. There was so much between us about wanting to be together and grow up together (we’re both mid-20s). We are also sailors, but in different parts of the industry. In any event, 5 months past and I’d spent months in the Caribbean, so communication got very stressed. When I returned we picked up communication, which often required me calling him due to my skype account. We got him a job in the states and he has just come across, which is fantastic, except he’ll shortly be leaving. When I first saw him, I had a bit of a freak-out… I think all at once I got nervous with “if we’re both in this” and now I feel like I’ve ruined my bit of time with him by being too emotional. He understands, but I feel like I set a very bad first impression for our first reunion. Any advice on how to fix it?

I hope this doesn’t sound too weird, but somehow I’m happy that this article was written by a man, I just assumed it was written by a woman.

I’m in a LDR for 2 months now and we’re from different countries with an ocean between us. The last couple of days I’ve had a difficult time with paranoia and distrust, so to say. I knew it wasn’t right, but after reading the article, I’m positive I wasn’t right and the phrase “I assure you, if something was wrong, you will know it.” showed me the light.

Thank you so much! I have new hope again and now I feel I have the strength to not be so insecure anymore.
I’m going to continue my search for things we can do together while we’re not being together physically.
Unfortunately we have yet to meet, and it is impossible to meet every month, but we both really want to make this work and we’ve also looked at the future together and decided we want to build one together.

Again, thank you for this encouraging article, I’m going to surf around your site for a bit longer.

Hey there Eddie,
I read your article and I was greatly inspired by it.
Here’s my situation: my gf and I will have been dating for 2 years by the time we graduate high school which is in June 2008, roughly seven months from now. We’ve had our ups and downs throughout the relationship, but we’ve both grown into each other and matured. I’m heading over to Toronto, Canada, and she to New York City. It’s a 9 hour drive back and forth, but we both agreed that a visit every month or two is possible along with the daily mail, text msgs, msn chat and stuff like that. Do you think it will work?

Dear Eddie, My boyfriend and I have been at this for off and on 8 yrs. Ours has always been a problem of timing. We are both in our 40’s , me I’ve never been married, he has been 3 times. I’m here in America and he’s in England. Within the last couple of years we’ve been able get our timing more toward us but he has major problems with saying I love you…. He can talk about marriage but no I love you’s or even talk about actually making things official. He knows that I would move there cause of his son (from another relationship). He’s being too practical and unable to show his emotions. We both have had crap relationships in the past but how can I help him over this hurdle…

Hi,

My boyfriend is studying abroad in England doing medicine and he got 3 yrs more to go. He comes for 2 months each yr. I love him and he does tooo. I miss he loads at time. We chat almost everyday. We talk on skype and webcam often.

I know that i can wait for him and i trust him.
Since some days i feel like theres a distance. I don’t understand y!!:s

For example: We were chatting and he was talking well then suddenly he starts taking time to reply and at times reply in a different tone. I know his there in front of his PC because we webcam. I donot want to lose him but maybe his losing interest in the relationship!!

Okii
by the way the articles are great.
Nikita

heyy,

i’v been in a long distance relationship with this really wonderful gurl since 7months…we’v been liking each other since many years but it took time fo me to realise she was the one. i really love her so much frm the very depths of my hearts but off lately our relationships been going very bad. everything was jus so fine till yesterday.
she thinks i’v cheated on her but i havnt.i’v told her a million times dat it isnt true but she aint listenin to one word mine.she isnt trusting me anymore n i dont knoe y.i really love her sooo much n i cant live without her n am ready to do anything for her.i dont wanna lose her like this.i can not bear 1 more broken relationship again in life.
she has asked for 1 months time to think about wether or not she has to continue with this or not. she has hurt me real bad now but i seriously dont wanna lose her.shes everthing i’v got.i really dont knoe how to convincin her on trusting me again.i tried doing everything i could do 500miles away from her.am very much troubled rite now n really dont knoe what i shud do hw shud i convincin her on trustin me again? hw shud i get her bck again?

will be really greatful to anyone who helps me out.

thanx a lot,
kailash

Hey Eddie,

I read your article and several of the posts following it, and was hoping that you might be able to provide me with some guidance/suggestions on how to proceed/what to expect.

I’m 27, and recently (very recently!) met an amazing young woman (she’s 23) who lives ~1400 miles away. We have talked online pretty much every night for the last 8 nights in a row – and, at that, for several hours (4-6 on average) a night. We have loads in common, are attracted to each other, and are rather fond of each other – but most importantly, we have this amazing almost-spiritual connection with each other. It’s almost as if we know what the the other is thinking/feeling any given instant. We have already had the typical ’soul-bearing’ conversations that takes many relationships months to encounter (and that’s even based on my own past experiences). And – mind you – this is all incredibly foreign to me, because, until now, anyway, I have never been of the mindset that it’s a good idea to start an LDR.

The thing is – she’s in school, and will be there for at least a year or two longer. I’m just not sure how to proceed. I want to meet her right away – but my instinct tells me that perhaps I am being too infatuated? I really care very deeply for this person, and really want things to work out. How do I muster the strength, courage, faith, etc. to make it work? After how much communication should we even consider trying to meet face-to-face for the first time? And what can I do in the interim to make the pain of missing her presence that much easier?

The article helps in focusing in on many important things, but I felt very upset after reading it. My boyfriend and I have always been a long-distance couple (both in college), meeting monthly at minimum, sometimes using the “1-2 day free time” after fighting on the phone. I’m upset because all of the “special” things during meetings, different types of communication, etc., is nonexistent. I feel like he does not try to do anything out of the ordinary (perhaps because it reminds him that this is long distance). I don’t like bringing it up because he thinks I’m ungrateful. I know he loves me, and he tells me all the time. I ask him to SHOW me, and he’s clueless. I just want him to do those special things, but the fact that I have to spoon-feed him the solution defeats the purpose, and makes me very upset. I’m not needy, I’m just a typical long-distance girlfriend who wants to be shown love. What can I do?

Hi Eddie,

I would first of all like to thank you for writing that article. It may have saved my relationship. My gf lives in Philippines and I’m here in the states. We’ve almost reached 3 years and I love her so much. But, we’ve been having problems because I’m having trouble understanding why she would need time to miss me when we’re thousands of miles apart. We barely chat and our only communication is through text messaging and when I sometimes get a chance to call her. Yet, even the text is becoming less frequent because she’s very busy even if she’s unemployed at the moment. I was starting to doubt, but I know she loves me and she wouldn’t hurt me, at least not with infidelity. I don’t know if I’m being stupid or what? I don’t want to have doubts and I just want our relationship to be stronger despite the fact that we’re far apart (for now).

Anyway, I was getting really frustrated so I decided to search for something to help me soothe my emotions and I came across your article and I came to a realization that maybe she just really want time to miss me since I make myself too available for her. I loved everything you said and I learned so much. Thank you! Thank You!!

Hi Eddie,
My girlfriend and i have been going out for a little bit more than a year and now that shes going of to college she has doubts about how we are going to make a long distance relationship work. We both love each other so much and want to find out how now shes thinking of ending it cause she doesnt want to break up by fading away how can i reassure her that it wont happen and many ways that we can stay together, i love her too much. Please help me she means to much to me to ever let her go cause of something like this i need to erase the doubts.

Thank you for your optimism Eddie, because it has helped me and my long term relationship a lot. In the past i must admit, listening to people say how hard and painful a long distance relationship would be did put strong doubts in my mind, however, me and my boyfriend didn’t give up and even after not seeing each other for 6 months we’re still happy and going on strong in our relationship. I think that people should just put all rational thoughts aside for a while and just believe, wait, trust and love. Just wanted to say thank you. xxx

Hey eddie, I’ve been reading alot of your articles and its been helping me with my break-up, which was just this past Sunday. I’m gay and I’m not sure if theres a difference between gay or str8 relationships. My then bf was originally from sf like me and we had known eachother as really good aquaintances/friends for 3 years and we finally decided to give a relationship a go. We had talked about what we wanted in life and in a partner, plans on him moving back from japan to Cali, becoming partners, having kids together, the works. The kicker was that he had a past of cheating… twice. So doing the long distance thing was a big gamble for me. But he said it had taken someone to do it to him to realize not to do that ever again. So of course, we did the email thing, the texting, and daily calls. But when he’d come home to visit me and his family/friends, or vice versa, I’d notice that he’d be inattentive and inconsiderate to my feelings – several pix of his cheating ex of 2 years on the shelves and coffee table, dancing with his friends (some of which were ex lovers) really freaky like, and getting really upset with me when I found intimate vacation pix of him and his cheating ex in Malasia. I found it really shocking that he said that he was really upset with me because his pix were “private”… like his emails or a diary. But I didn’t think that I wasn’t allowed to not go into atleast his pictures. I mean, he’s shown me pix of family albums so what was so wrong with me looking at some pix? I took that very weird and thought that he was just mad cuz I found the malasia pix. But was I wrong in going there? After a while, I got confused and scared and asked him if it would be best to just take a break until he knew when he’d really be coming home. I had done this, because he all of a sudden said he didn’t know when he’d be back. He heard my suggestion and blew up at me asking why I was doing this to him. I tried to explain to him about how I felt disrespected for the things that had been going on and he took offense to it and bluntly asked if I trusted him. I answered, part of me didn’t… with his past and pix of his ex, how could I? He told me how he had taken me out to meals, purchased my trip to visit him, and given me gifts, but my reaction to that was that I would’ve rather be given none of those things, and exchange, just been shown some consideration. So he got fed up and said, “then break up with me.” So i said fine. After that, I had regretted it and cried my heart out. I had never felt love like this before and was on the verge of dying. I had asked him to forgive me and to forget it happened, but he said he’d have to think about it cuz I broke his heart. After a week of going insane, he finally called me this past Sunday and said no to us getting back together, because there wasn’t trust. To get to the point, I now know that it wasn’t meant to be cuz deep down inside, i didn’t trust him because he didn’t give me any reasoning to do so… right? Or did I just F@#% up my future with my true love?

I forgot to mention, that this was my first relationship, which is probably why i didn’t just end it in the beginning, when i saw those pix up in the house. But he said our love was strong to just work thing out and that we’d be okay as long as we talked about things. I just don’t understand why, all of a sudden, our love wasn’t worth working on when hit with the later issues. So I was also wondering, was I being insecure with the house /laptop pix, the dancing, and just in general for that matter? Was our break up a good thing?

Hi eddie i was really excited when i saw this article. Your words are soo true.
I’m 17 and i met my bf(19) on myspace in the summer of 05′. I’ve never seen him before at the time but we exchanged numbers and started talking on the phone. he asked me out 3 months later after we started talking over the phone. i really didnt think we would end up being in this serious relationsihp that we are in 2 1/2 yrs later.

By the way he lives in louisiana and i live in california. finally in the summer of 06 he finally flew to visit me for the very first time. but it was only for two weeks. i was just soo happy with him. thats when i realized that this was true love.

But in march of 07 he broke up with me (terrible memories) because he fell in love with a girl that lived near him. after 4 months of being apart he apologizes and regrets everything. so i take him back because i still really loved him.

then in the winter of 07 he came and visited me again. once again only for two weeks. but our realtionship this time is wayy more complicated than our first. now we’re more controlling to each other, and we argue every night over the littlest things on the phone. its always fight and make up–thats always our routine lately. and i think its jus the distance killing us cuz i know if those things that we argue about wouldn’t matter if we were living near each other. we both love each other deep down, but with all this fighting, it barely shows…. it only shows the times when we’re not fighting.
plus i get really jealous the fact that he talks to his female co-workers, or even texts his female friends. and i think this is because i lost him once to a girl and i dont want it to happen again.

we know we cant be(live) near each other soon because im planning on going to college here in cali dis year and he’s planning on going to go to college in louisiana. if it’s going to take us a while for us to be together, and all we do is fight/argue i dont think i can take it, yet i dont want to end up breaking up because i really LOVE him because of soo many reasons… so what are some of ur advices that we should do to make this relationship work other than break up??? we just need some help holding on to this relationship. we’re losing hope. and both of us dont want to end up breaking up…again.

because the times when we are together, it seems so right and perfect. but then when we’re apart in different states again, its like a disaster.

occassionally i come across a LDR article, and i read it out of curiousity. im in the military and i’ve been with my boyfriend for about two years (in that status) and we were very close friends for about a year before that. it was a slightly awkward transition. but then it just kind of happened. i’m just about 22 and he’s 23. i won’t be out of the military until 2011. so there is a time limit. but its a very distant one. we don’t have a problem talking in person. or texting (CONSTANTLY). or writing. or communicating. we just don’t have very good phone conversations. i don’t like the phone much in general (except to my 2 best friends) and he is somewhat introverted. would you consider that abnormal?

*curious*

Hi Eddie, I found my self really interesting reading this article since this is my first time experiencing this situation and really don’t know what to do at times. I meet him last year on a trip to visit my family in FL and I live in NY, we met at a bar and connected automatically never thought that after meeting him in a bar something nice would come out of it, after we met we saw each other every day until I came back to NY, he even met my family and now day he has a good relationship with my dad which for me, shows a lot of interest. We do have plans to see each other he’s coming to visit me pretty soon and then i’m visiting him. We do comunicate via phone almost every day( hes not good with computers) if he hasnt called i call and if he hasnt heard from me he calls, but my concern is that sometimes I wish our conversations were longer, we do talk about our day and stuff but sometimes our conversations are just to say hi, short and I wonder if is there something that i could do or say to keep him interested or just keep being nice and sweet over the phone until we see each other again and maybe we will have more stuff to talk about?

i am men know women and we love each other .the problem she have a bad experience with her x bf and i live in tunisia and she live in usa .her x bf let her have much pain and hurt .
can you help me and tell me how i can let this pain go away from her heart becoz really i worry for her .i am so in love with her .
and thank you friend

Hi Eddie

That was a lovely article, thanks so much. I was feeling a lil down because I will not be able to meet him in the next year or so…and your article really gave me more hope and cheered me up.

Keep up the nice work

Hi Eddie

I must first commend you on your 10 tips they are quite accurate.
I have been in a LDR for almost a year, the rlshp has had its ups and downs, a year in May. Our intial goal was to be together in 1-2 yrs
One of your tips was to see each other once a month, thats impossible for us because its very expensive to travel back and forth but we are planning a trip for our anniversary. t’s more like 6 months for us.
I know our rlshp could work, because i love him so very much, but its ppl around me that is negative all around and sometimes i miss him so much i feel as there is more we can do to keep in touch and what you said is so true about sending intimate emails and being honest to each other i’m going to send this link to my boyfriend.
Sometimes when i think of the time we are going to be apart i get doubtful and i begin to think if it doesn’t work out all the time i would have wasted lonely..but your last tip says it all be positive! and i will try

Thanks for your advice Eddie

Dear Eddie,
Thanks for sharing your article with us. I really appreciate it.

Hi there EDDIE!

I’m Alka from Singapore and I’m 20 this year from Singapore! I will be leaving for the States in July to pursue my studies at UC BERKELEY Uni. I have been with my boyfriend who is 22 this year for 6 years now. He is my first boyfriend. Well of course we have had our good and bad times over the years. And I have a very bad jealousy problem. Do you have any advise on how I can control my jealousy?

Another problem I feel that I’m probably going to face when I go there is; how am I going to cope without his presence? I share all my feelings, be it good or bad with him. I read your article, and I’m sure that I have learnt a thing or two in maintaining my relationship after I leave. Do you have any other advise on how I can cope without his presence and on how to control my jealousy?

Thanks a million for sharing this article!
It really helped!

hey, like chathurika my GF lives 2000 mi away.. im in MA and she’s in TX. ive fallen so hard, i feel i cant live if i dont get a txt/email or chat request from her. and the worst part, i dont have the money to meet her. but i do have a solution, but im not 100% sure i should. well, she’s goin 2 college, and ill be a senior in HS (odd coinscidence chathurika) and there is a school nearby that offers one of the majors im interested in! it has 100% atmittance too! but im worried about what my family is going to think. leavin them and the state to live with a girl ive never met. id argue that i know what she looks like, what she sounds like, and we know almost everything about each other. we really love each other with everything we have. im willing to move away and get a job to pay for schooling and to find the money move 2000 mi away, but i need the extra push. ur the expert, what do you think?

I see a lot of young people (15 up and up writing on here. I believe a long distance relationship can work when say a person has to leave for the military, school, work etc and this is a great article for those people. But so many writing here have never really met their b/g FIRST.
I watched a 15 year old friend of sons carry on a long distance relationship for several months with a girl in California he had never met, we live in Texas. He would not go anywhere, dedicated himself soley to her and even passed up his high school prom because she got jealous. Finally, they broke up and she connected with a another friend in the group and started a new l/d/r. Two years later when I brought up her name when my sons group of friends came to visit, I was told they had discovered she was carrying on so called l/d/r with guys in about six states.
Some how I did not find this healthy for anyone involved especially the girl. I think it set-up expectations with her that anytime a problem really came break-up and move to the next. Who wouldn’t love to have only the good parts of a relationship. I find it a kin to women who date men on death row, whom they know they will never get to be with. All they have to do is write letters or emails and they don’t have to really give anything of themselves and miss out on real moments they could be having with someone at their side, seeing, feeling and touching what they see around them. If your already in a relationship and have to be seperated and know you will definitely be back together, hang in there and give it all you got! Eddie has given some great advice. If your meeting B/G on the internet that you know it is nearly impossible that you will ever meet. Make a great friend but draw the line at commitment.

Hey Eddie. Unlike a lot of these people I’m a lot older. I finey started seeing my first love from high school after 30 years. We are 1400 miles away due to his work. I still have a child left in high school for the next 3 years, so it would be hard to up root my family. Here is the problem. We get along great. He comes home every 3-4 weeks or I go up there. We have a very strong connection with each other. I know he thinks alot of me but he is very shy about talking of his feelings. He doesn’t know how to say how he feels. I try very hard to bring it out but I can’t make a whole lot of ground. We’ve been in a relationship for 2 1/2 years. He has yet to use the L— word. I have told him , but he is afraid to say it. I’ve asked will he in the future and he doesn’t say no, he just says I don’t know. He’s made the coment that I have change the way he thought his life would be. But I don’t know what that means. I truly love this man with all my heart but I ‘m not getting any younger . The distance doesn’t bother me, because I want to wait till my son graduates. I just want to know why men have such a hard time with their feelings.

Hi!

Me and my boyfriend have been dating for almost 5 years and he is away for work for about 3 months… before he always text me and ask me how am i doing and send emails also… but now.. for a month… i never heard of him… almost everyday i call him… and still no response… i checked on his sites he is always online but he still dont response … i really do trust him and i love the guy… but how will i react with this situation.. i feel really confuse and worried that he is trying to avoid me… and when i had contacted him.. he said that he cant talk and he is with some friends drinking….

i think its not a normal relationship at all…

can you please comment…

hi…am sarah…i tried to search some facts about long distance relationship and meeting of lovers for the first time in person.I had this idea because am into a LDR with a special man i met online.Are relationship now is on it’s 7 th month this June.I never dreamed of meeting someone online and deepen this special relationship with this guy.I have faith in this relationship and i can feel that he has too.One of the greatest thing is that we share one Faith;and that God is the center of the relationship.i was surprised that my bf is making his plans of visit here in my country soon bringing his whole family to know me better…Right now…i cannot explain my feelings…mixed emotions in great sense.At the same time,i get my strength from my family’s support because i have introduced my bf to my family especially to my parents.Am the only girl in the family so my family got this “gut” feelings…and i acknowledge this feelings…i think both sides.my bf is 21 years old,working in business world,and i am 23 years old a registered nurse.To be honest,am afraid of entering love but my mind and heart tells the other way around.I love serving other people because i love my job,being a nurse is a vocation.I am afraid because my bf wants to marry me.Bringing me in his country.Am afraid to make a selfish decisions but my parents and the rest of my brothers tells me that I need to give a chance for myself.Now is the time for me to have the greatest blessing accepted after making lots of sacrifices in my vocation;as my family say.My bf believe that i am his destiny and so that makes me inspire to continue this relationship with him.To be honest,i never worry about his routines,his life away from me because i prayed a lot and i lift up everything to God and do my part and effort as his long distance gf.The thing that makes me worry lately is that what will going to happen during the time of his first visit with his family.by the way he is from scotland.please give me some advice.Thanks and more power

Thanks for your article – it’s so good to read something that gives positive advice on long distance relationships, rather than the usual “it won’t work” comments. I’ve been dating my boyfriend for over two years, but we’re about to leave university (in the UK) and he’s moving back to Canada, for at least the next two years. I’m finding it very hard to cope with the fact that we’ll probably get a week to see each other at Christmas and maybe two in the summers. But, this gives me hope that it might be possible to keep us going. Thank you x

its very hard to see each other very often my boyfriend is in the marines, and its very hard..

I am so confused…this feels so right, but so wrong at the same time…im 15 have fallen in love with a beautiful, smart, filipina girl (also 15) about 8,000 miles (13,000 kilometers…thus the “13k” in my name) away…on the exact opposite side of the world…

in fact, our time is exactly 12 hrs different i have changed my schedule around where we can actually talk during the few hours shes not in school…or asleep, of course and she just happens to be in school for 12 hours a day (7am – 7pm) monday-friday plus homework/other school stuff…which RLY limits when we can actually talk… its still summer vacation here…so its rly gonna be challenging to make time to talk then…but im sure it will work out somehow

i would give ANYTHING to be able to actually see her…hold her…& show her how much i love her…cuz she is the most important thing in the world to me & she means so much to me.

it just tears me up inside that the chances of us meeting are slim to none & its just so hard to bare cuz shes ALWAYS on my mind & its rly hard to concentrate on my own things. it feels like ive known her forever…even though it has only been a few months

from one perspective, it feels like we have known each other forever…like we have always been together & were just taken from one situation to another, testing our drive to be together…that its so strong that we would be able to overcome being on opposite sides of the earth (US east coast & the Philippines) & STILL be together in the end
yet the other one where we actually notice that we are over 8,000 miles apart & too young to just travel whenever & wherever we want…if we could, it would be totally different…because i would be over there with her right now…not here writing this…which casts doubt into our minds…along with all the other unwanted feelings that come along with it

…trust me…i had not intended to write this much this is the only topic in which i rly have no problem writing a lot…
im actually off schedule now…i gotta get to sleep so i can talk to her later

also…every time i think of her…one song in particular runs through my head (Lifehouse – Hanging By a Moment) … its a good thing i like that song, cuz i can always hear it…constantly playing in my head as i think of her

My girlfriend and I has been dating for 6 and a half months now. She lives in Ohio and i live in Washington. She’s a freshman in college and i’m a sophomore. Ever since she moves to college, i have become this “green-eyed-monster” i guess, she assures me that nothing is ever going to happen, and she loves too much. but sometimes i just couldn’t take it anymore because it hurts me more than it hurts her.. and yes we do video chat everyday…. how do i overcome my fear of loosing her… and really really trust her..?

I enjoyed reading everything you wrote. I’m rin 21 yrs. old. I have been talking with this guy for 7months already he was able to call me because his siblings was our family friend. He’s been working abroad. We talk daily, chat,use the webcam. Until we fell in love with each other. We planned for us to meet but failed to do so because of health problems if not its because of his job, which we had no choice because his still under contract. We are both sad for what had happened but still promised to hold on. At first people at my side was excited but months had passed they started to become anxious and already had doubts. It seems that they are against us already because we haven’t seen each other yet, but for us it’s more than that.We trust each other completely and were waiting for the right time for us to be together. We love each other and trust each other completely. Can you give us any advice?Thanks and godbless you always

Hi i really enjoyed reading your article, it really got me thinking about my situation. I met my bf in Mexico when i was 13 , I remember that when I had seen him I always thought he was cute but never really had the courage to say anything since i was so young. I returned when I turned 15 and I still seemed to have something for him. We began to talk and we immediately started to go out. He made me feel so special and happy. I soon returned home, a few months passed and i kind of had gotten over him since I was too busy with friends and school. I returned again that same year with a cousin. I was really excited to see him again and see what was going to happen between us. That month that i was there our relationship grew so much. I could literally say I loved him so much. We went through so much that I did not want to leave. My last day we both cried so much because we loved each other. We kept in contact, i would call him regularly and everything went good until one day i just stopped calling. I had met another guy that soon became my bf. I was sure it would not work since it was a long distance relationship and the guy i began to date lived so close to me. I never broke up with the other guy so when i went again he thought we were still together. I dont know why but i could break up with him and tell him i had a new bf. I still cared for him so much and felt something. I returned again and he soon found out. He called me to stay with him but i just couldnt say anything i just hung up. Months passed and i kept in contact with him. I told him i was sorry. I would email him and i would call him, we would talk for a long time. I loved to hear from him, he would make me forget everything and i would just concentrate on him and me. At 18 me and my bf broke up. I went again to Mexico and finally worked things out with him we have been together since. I am now 20 years old. I love him so much but there at times when I do occasionally forget about him when i meet other guys. I don’t want to hurt him again and for some reason something tells me hes the one for me. Its really weird but we just know we belong together. So how do i keep myself from forgetting about him?? at times i think that am just use to him but i just refuse to realize it. Can you please tell me whats going on with me??

thank you

Alright my situation is my girlfriend was in one state and i was in another. We waited 2-3 months before she moved up and into my new apartment with me as the co-lease signer. But after a week 1/2 of being here she moved back to her state to live at her old apartment since the lease wasnt up because she was “home sick” as she said. As shes told me before also. But it feels like she doesnt talk to me as much as she used to. She does need to get a job and she has a lot of stress but. I worry that she could lose interest in me. Im afraid of her not coming back. She says she’ll be there until christmas. So should i just be patient and wait 4 months? What should i do to remain calm and not worry so much about the little things?

Hey, im 15 and im also going through a long distant relationship ive been going out with my boyfriend since i was 13 and i never expected him 2 be moving 3 hours away from where i live, i no it does not seem far compared to many others but my parants are strict and i cant see him much. and im starting to look at other guys and i dont want that. As my boyfriend is not very enthusiastic on Instant Message or the phone its hard to stay in love. I miss him..what can i do?..i cant loose this!

Amber.

Hi,

The only issue that i have is that we are in different countries and we can’t see each other every month….I’m getting my divorce finalize and i have a pending request for taking my daughters with me and move to his country after everything finish until then i have to stay in this state…How can i handle this feeling of wanting to be with him so bad, i know he is the love of my life the person who i was waiting for. please how can i handle of this emotions without affecting my life.

Thanks

Patty

@Eddie Corbano –
I suppose your rite. I do have my life ahead of me. I still love him of course but im going to take your advice.
Thanks, Amber

Hi, I have a question.. How do you stop your heart from thinking about them when your mind wants to get over it? I was with my boyfriend for 5 years. we lived together for 3.5 yrs. We broke up last year and I was devistated but three months later he came back to tell me he couldn’t live without me. We tried to work it out again but he’s not ready to be in a relationship. It sucks to find out after spending 5 years of your life with someone that they aren’t ready to settle. Not only did we break up again but it was right after i lost our baby. I was almost 5 months pregnant and lost the baby. Now i am confused, hurt, and mad. I have so many questions and he wont he call or text… I have had enough.. i don’t want to cry myself to sleep anymore, I dont want to feel sick to my stomach, or sit around wondering where he is, what or who he’s doing but I dream about him every night… Someone help!

I’m not sure if you still check this article or not. I found a great deal of comfort in your suggestions but my situation is even more complex I’m afraid. You see I’m a single mother of two young children and my long distance relationship is with a long time friend who is a bit younger than me. There’s a 6 year age difference and he is still in College. And I know that many people say “But he doesn’t act his age” or “He’s much more mature than other people his age” but in this case, I mean it sincerely. Instead of going to parties and playing video games and just hanging out he helps his family, does repairs around the house, and he works on his personal business. Instead of planning his spring breaks he draws up the plans for the house he plans to build. He’s said before that he doesn’t mind the age difference, or the responsibility.. I just can’t shake the idea that I’m somehow robbing him of the carefree lifestyle he should be leading. I’ve spoken to him about this before and he says that though he appreciates my concern that he knows what he wants and he is much happier with me and the prospect of our future together than without. In fact he is the one that speaks of our life together more often than not. I just want what’s best for him and I’m not sure if his love for me is clouding his better judgment. All of our friends and even his family are very accepting of our relationship, I wonder if it’s my nerves rather than my concern getting the best of me. I do not believe so though, I feel very clear headed when I discuss this with him. I have dated younger men before, and he is very different from them.. I may just be typing this to sort it out myself.. At any rate, I appreciate you taking the time to read this and give me any input as you see fit. Take care.

Hi,

this is a nice article!
by the way me and my boyfriend suffered a long distance relationship. i decided to go back in my country while he’s still in other country.i really really miss him so much but 1 day i try to look his email and i found an email of 1 girl stating that she missed my boyfriend so much and she cares my boyfriend and i saw also the reply of my boyfriend stating that he cares with a big hugs and kisses.for me its really painful because i trust him so much.every time that we talk over the phone or skype i ask him if he found another girl who will replace for me but he’s always mad when every time that i opened that topic.
i dont want to confront him because i dont want that my boyfriend knows that i opened his email.
do i have the right to getting jealous?
i hope you can give me an advice about this.

yhoj

Communication is key, you stop that and its over… Rule #1 everything doesnt matter at this point but talking to each other, trust me.. My GF lives 8000 miles away and we talk everyday on skype about 2 or 3 times… Trust is Rule #2…

My boyfriend and I met at college which is 360 miles away from home for me and about 40 miles away from home for him. We had 3 years at school together then he graduated. I had one year left so it wouldn’t be that difficult. But I started saying we should start planning where we want this relationship to go so we can keep moving forward.

He said “we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.” I graduated college and moved back home 4 months ago and we’ve seen each other once. Our budgets only allow us to see each other every 3 months. I’ve still tried to keep planning something. He finally agreed after I graduated that we should start planning. But he leaves all the planning to me. When I ask him questions he says he doesn’t care. I got fed up about 2 months ago and said maybe we should end the whole thing b/c our relationship wasn’t going anywhere.

We get into a groove of just doing the same thing till we have 5 minute conversations every day. When I bring it up I’m just creating problems that aren’t really there.

His lack of interest in our relationship makes me doubt that we can make it. So I suggest we take a break or break up then he steps up. All of a sudden he wants to talk to me and isn’t obligated to talk to me anymore. He’ll text me randomly through the day instead of just waiting till the time we have set aside for each other.

Then a few weeks later it all fades away. In a little over a month we’ll have been dating for 4 years, and I feel like we’re stuck! It makes it very difficult to have faith in our relationship.

Hi Eddie.
I really enjoyed reading your arcticle it really inspaired me on taking changes in my life,that long distant relationships really work out.
Thanks