10 Rules To Make Long Distance Relationships Work

by Eddie Corbano

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Nearly everyone has experienced a long distance relationship at some point in his life. Most of us have failed to maintain it and have broken up, even though this may have been a promising relationship. Why is that so? What are the common reasons to break up in those long distance relationships and how can you make them work?

To begin with, I was there myself. A good friend of mine gave my e-mail address to his wife’s best friend. Shortly after that she dropped me a line. So we got to know each other. By e-mail.

The great thing about e-mail communication is, there are no games. At least there shouldn’t be. You can present yourself as the person you are. You can truly open up.

So we fell in love just for the persons we were. No masks, no shields. But still 2000 miles apart.

Of course the critical moment was when we first met. Would the picture we had about each other synchronize with the outer picture? If you’ve been dishonest, then you will fail at this point. Luckily it worked out for us.

Long distance relationships can occur for a number of reasons. Here are some of the common scenarios:

You’ve met in a chat room or at an online personal site and realized in the end that you were several states far away from each other.
You recently graduated college and have moved back to your home town and your boyfriend or girlfriend has continued to stay in the college town.
At work you’ve been promoted and sent to a new city for an important program and will be in that location for several months.

Long distance relationships have both, advantages and disadvantages. For some, the distance is a good help to slowly open up to the relationship without the incessant presence of the partner. The romance stays kindled because you aren’t around the person 24/7 seeing various habits and routines that can get repetitive.

In terms of disadvantages, it is very frustrating that there is no intimacy, no hugging, no kissing. At least between the meetings. You will experience difficulties in connecting because you don’t have eye contact and can’t take walks or enjoy dinners out together.

Then again that makes the meetings so much more intense then they would be in a “normal” relationship. It’s the quality, not the quantity.

Long distance relationships can work, but there are some rules and guides you have to follow.

Of course, there is also a very important condition without an long distant relationship can not work:

You must have a true interest in each other. I mean a deep emotional connection, whether you’ve been together before the spacial separation or you’ve met each other through chat/e-mail. I’m afraid a physical attraction is not enough. That’s why most summer vacation affairs fail in the end.

Here are the rules that made my personal long distance relationship work:

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My Recommendation For Further Reading:

The Long-Distance Relationship Survival Guide - Secrets From Successful Couples Who Have Gone The Distance
Long Distance Relationships: The Complete Guide - Proven Strategies For Building And Maintaining A Successful LDR

5 Must-See Related Posts:

About The Author:

Eddie Corbano is a breakup-coach, relationship-advisor and founder of LovesAGame. He suffered from a devastating break up in 1998. Since then, he dedicated his life to helping others getting the best of this existential experience. The overcoming of a break up is an important step to autonomy and independency. Eddie Corbano developed some new coaching programs, which focus on evolving inner strength and the power to set and reach any personal goal. (Article written on March 21st, 2007)
Show all posts by Eddie Corbano

Michelle

@Adam – Hi Adam,
I understand what your talking about, my best friend seems to have some of those same qualities. Its hard to actually tell with those kinds of ppl cause all of my best friends guys used to come to me about that kinds of stuff. Honestly i understand how you must feel about the feeling and not getting her out of your mind. Me and my bf are still together, but i havent talked to him much either for understandable reasons but i feel for you. That said its hard to deal with your gf moving and the same for the girl. Its normal to be scared to move and leave all you know behind, n its also normal to b happy there after a while. She is becoming comfortable with her new surroundings which is expected bc thats just something that must be done in order to be happy. It seems to me that, well its no easy way to say. I do beleive things could work out for you two only if she puts in the effort. You seem like a careing great guy and is putting in more than enough effort. It takes two ppl to make things work not just one. I know you must love her and its hard but honestly if she is just giving up and not trying to work things out then this is prolly what she doesnt want. I hate to see ppl like that, but its life n god maybe intended for you both to be with someone else. It takes alot to find that one true person and i do beleive there is a true love for everyone. And we learn from the hurt and the pain, we learn that there are better things out there. The whole clingy thing, really should show you that she is trying to take the easiest way out. I would give anything to talk to my bf more than once a day like we used to. If she feels it way too much contact for her then she is saying she wants space. Im sorry if i really wasnt any help but i hope i was. I do hope though that you guys can work things out though that would be amazing but if it doesnt just keep your head up and keep on living yes it will be hard but no one ever said it would be easy. I believe that if all fails just make sure you know you tried your best and that one day unexpected god will but the one person made for you into your life and you then will know that you have to go through the pain to get to the happiness. Good luck with everything,
<3 Michelle
gia

@jennifer. – hi jennifer i also been that stage….im also in the state of wondering whats going on with my bf since were million parts away…i really missed him so much…i guess i can say long distance relationship is not quite so good and sometimes im loosing my hopes and dreams with him…he never talked to me ever since for the past few days and i texted him and he never replied nor even called im so misserible now a days…i dont know if he still cares for me…i love him so much and i dont know what to do….is there someone who can share an advise to us? esp.me….im so depressed and lonely and hopeless….
MJ

hi, i can say my relationship with my boyfriend is very much complicated. We’ve been in a relationship for almost a year now but he had an arranged marriage to his cousin 3months ago. When i learned about it, nothin can describe how much ive hurted. I was really devastated and depressed until now i can say im still in the process of healing, gettin over and used with the situation. I love him and i do believe that he loves me as well. But due to “culture and religious” thing our relationship now is wiggling. Yeah, its true im still in relationship with him i tried to broke up with him before right after the marriage coz i know itz wrong i even changed my number. But then our feelings are makin ways for us to get back together all the time. Right now were miles away from each other, eversince were maintaining a long distance relationship but we managed to maintain our relationship for almost a year now. The last time we met was last november 2008. My problem now is he is with his wife now, but communication is still the same. The situation is hard for me, but then i cant just go away from him and he also. Hes planning to divorce his wife this year but still im not confident coz i know his family is important to him as well (im referring to his parents) as they were the one who arranged the marriage for him.

What am i goin to do? Everybodys askin me to leave him and find somebody whose better than him and that someone whose situation isnt complicated like him. Ive tried dating but then it didnt work. My mind and my heart is still on him.

Please help me with my situation. What are the things i need to do. Im confused. Do i really need to broke up with him or what?

Shenly

You have to accept the fact that he has his own family now. I also had a boyfriend who was a muslim. We were in a long distance relationship from the begining. Our relationship lasted for 2 1/2 years. I was crazy in love with him, se he was. But, i needed to end it up. I thought of my future with him. I can’t live a miserable life with him, though we were so il love. He was so concerned with his mom’s condition. His family did not like me beacuse i a Christian. It was so painful. I was crying all day and night because of my decision. After 2 weeks of our break up, I dated some guys then i found someone who was capable of making me happier.
I still thought of him even i was already involved with someone. But then, I tried to learn to love this guy as much or even more than him. Until, i finally accepted recovered. You can do it. Give it a try. You should start it. Of course you can’t forget him, better be friends with him. There is someone better than him. Open your mind to thetruth.
seasea

This msg is to respond to the lady with the now married bf… First I would like to say I admire your efforts to attempt to hold on to this as much as you can, while wondering if it is right…
I myself can tell you this now, this man had a choice to take the offer of an aranged marriage, and he could have passed on this offer, but he chose to go through with it. I am a muslim
As well, and so I understand the family condition and tradition towards the idea of arranged marriages, however my darling, he could have told his family about you long ago, this sounds to me
Like a bad excuse to keep you strung along, he either loves you and isn’t man enought to take it up to the next level
Or he doesn’t have the guts to let you know because he doesn’t want to hurt you, there for he is giving you false hope
My best advice to you dear is to make him see you are not just going to sit around and wait for him to realise what he has … Men tend to take advantage of women that show just how much they love them
By giving them too much to show how you feel, its sad but true, so u have got to say to him that you will always have a place in your heart for him, but you understand that he is married now and don’t want to be strung along
Because you have a life of your own and a futur to make with dreams to fulfill, insteat of waitting around hoping for him to leave his newly wed, you should be letting him know that while with you he should have braught you to his familys attention
If he loves you enought to leave this woman ( now his wife ) he shud have enought love for you not to have gone off and married another woman while still saying the 3 magical wrds to you, not only is it sooo wrong because of you guys’s relationship
Its also wrong to this other woman, who thinks she’s meeting the man she will spent the rest of her life with. She is soo innocent in this whole this and its sad because this is probably her first time with a man and is being strung along as well

CONCLUSION. If he did this to you now, and to this woman as well, what makes you think he loves you enought to stick around long enought???
My say is free yourself now, chances are if he hasn’t asked you to marry him and hasn’t told his family about you when they suggested marriage, then chances are he will not make you his bride, and as raw and hard it is to hear you have to respect and realise that huni.

Move on. Its the best and most real advice I can give you

Sincerely
Seasea

MJ

@Jonathan – hi jonathan, i can say shes just not that into you. Theres no excuses in love. If u love the person always find a way to communicate no matter what. But if the person isnt really interested he or she will find some excuses.

Im sorry but u need to Forget her and move on, u dont deserve to be treated like that..
ene

I really related to this article. I am in a stage right now that I am depressed and frustrated about our long distance relationship. It’s as if I am the only one who is striving to make this work. It started great and seems like a dream but now my BF is changing and communication is lesser. He keeps on saying he loves me and he wants to be with me but then he never calls when he promised that he will or he does not call me when he knows that I am expecting his call. These changes became so sudden, we never had a fight and I can’t see any reason why this may happen. I am really puzzled because if he does not want this relationship anymore, he can simply end it right? Instead of letting me bug him. We just celebrated our anniversary this month and I am afraid that we can’t make this happen if we we’ll not see each other soon. We were acquaintances when we were in high school then his family migrated to another country after his graduation in high school. Since then we haven’t seen each other in person. We just had our communication back last 2007. Any thoughts?
Jeremy

Hi Eddie, I need some help. I am in a long distance relationship my girlfriend and I have been together for a little over a year. and it is getting harder and harder everyday, I have never been in a long distance relationship before and my girlfriend has and I am finding it hard to trust her, because she went to a party one night and got drunk and cheated on me, she told me that she would have never done that if she wasnt drunk. and now it seems like everytime she tells me where she is going it seems like she is lying to me. I love her more than I have ever loved anyone before and that is why I took her back that and because she was drunk. but now all we are doing is fighting over the phone. See all I want is time with her but she wants less time with me, she only calls me when she wants to, and she wants me to do everything she ask of me but as soon as I ask something of her we get in a fight over it.I really need some help I dont know what to do anymore there for awhile we were perfect until she decided to go and do whatever she wants whenever she wants.
michelle

Hi Eddy,
Im having some problems with a relationship with my bf. We’re not that far apart, but i feel like me and him are. He doesnt call me at all, and i have to call him. When I do call him, he’s busy and he said he’ll call back later, but he didnt :\ I try to understand that he’s busy, but i cant stand but miss him. He gives me the weird face icon when i talk to him by email. I miss him a lot but me and him barely talk. But he’s very sweet and he means a lot to me. I dont want this relationship to end…
E.

hi,
im 18yrs old and i met this guy at a confrence, where students are selected from the states to meet up or whatever. And as soon as i saw him i was dying too meet him… but the thing was, i was shy. it was crazy because im never shy around guys. so the whole trip i did not speak or anything with him but only like once. finally when it was almost time to leave and i wrote my name/number on a piece of paper with the intention of giving it to him. he then came up to me and gave me his number first before i even mentioned it to him! i was so happy, but at the same time like damn… because i wasted all my time acting shy. WELL ANYWAYS, we’ve been talking/emailing/sending pics back and forth for about 8months now and i really really like him, but i dont call as much as i used too because we talk about the same stuff. now he feels i dont like him that much and thinks im talking to other people but i am not. i cant stop thinking about him and i dont kno how to tell him how i feel without sounding so obsessed or messing up what we have…
Jury

hi I am Jury i wanna share my story now..i have bf in overseas we r long distance and he 23 yrs older than me and i am only 2o yrs old but its not bothering to us..He is my bf for almost year and we only meet once but there will be second meet soon i hope..We always talk in skype everynight but there r time he is late and there r time he cant get on coz of very slow internet..But one day he tryed to ask me a (joke)question..”What if i have other gf?What u going to do?”And keeps bother in my mind.And i am a jealous woman..Now,what i need to do to erase that question in my mind.?I asked many of my friends about that and all theres answer r mostly bad feelings..I also want to know how to last our relationship..?thank u and more power
http://www.Myspace.com/lyssa81 Alycha

Hi, my name is Alyssa, I know this will seem awkward but im nearly 17 and in a long distance relationship. First and foremost, please over look my age, this is something that just causes other older people to cringe at the idea of a 16year old girl in my situation. I am a very responsible girl, good good on my shoulders. Only problem is, my boyfriend of a year lives in Canada and i live in Indiana. I was surfing the web today, trying to find something to cheer me up and i stumbled onto this article. Anywho its hard, worrying and such. Our relationship is weird.. This article really helped me so much, because he will arrive here soon about a month and a half, yet it feels so hard to wait. I think ive tried to push him away even We argue a bunch, and ive neglected him, so i broguht it to his attention and i have been putting forth a big effort. I love this silly boy so much Hes sent me two letters and a gold ring that is permanently on my finger. I dont know. I guess i just need someone to talk to who can just listen. Im so new to this and being so young doesnt help, but i dont listen when they say im too young for love. There is no age , only those two hearts involved. This boy is giving up so much to come here. Hes going to summer school so he can be 100% don with school, we talk EVERY night, theres countless poems, hes defended me to his horrible father, his mom adores me, he stopped drugs and drinking and fighting, and he makes me more happy than ive ever been. Its just hard, waiting :’)
jennifer

@Jury –

hey Jury…me and my boyfreind are overseas as well…and I must say it is a difficult task to deal with…my boyfriend is 23 as well…and im younger than him by 4 years…but i dont care…anways …age dont matter…but other than that…my boyfreinds said that to me once…and all i tell him is…”if you choose to hurt me in that way…then that is your choice…and i wont forgive you, but know that im ilove and will be forever in love with you…and if you do something like that…you can forget me…now” he kinda realized that it shouldnt be something said..im super sensitive…but dont be afraid to tell him what you feel as i did…he doesnt joke like that anymore…its not harmfull…and sometimes when he doesnt talk to me..i think maybe he has another girl…but i know that if our love is that strong…then..that wont happen…just trust hiim!!!. and TELL him you trust him…he’s a guy and he NEEDS to know that! the next time you see him…tell him you love and dont forget to show him you love him in any way…it works!!! =]]]
GOODLUCKKKKK with your love relationship/long distance…its hard i know…but it so worth it in the end…thats what i keep in mind…”distance lets the heart grow fonder!”
=]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]]
devin

i see it alot of girls on here lol …anyway im 17 almost 18 will be in 4months and im in a long distance relationship with my gf of 8 months we fight alot kinda which i think its a trust issue but i figure out a way to always work it out with her she makes me feel good and is always here for me and her family seems cool with interracial dating im black and she’s white im not into black girls for many reasons but yea back to the story sometime i push the issue to trust her but she tells me she tells me everything and im open and honest with her there isnt anything she doesnt kno about me …we talk all day everyday and all night even if its the same stuff and i nvere leave out tellin her exactly how i feel about her…but like in all long distance relationships its hard to wait and really trust trust that person and if i can help anyone in wat i just wrote dude fight it out in the end it may be tottally worth it …cause with me and my gf at the end of the day she’s the only one for me hands down i love her and im not going to blame nor punish her cause i dated girls that messed up on me i love her to death and ima be there for her no matter wat ima good guy and she deserves the best for any guy that has ever hurt u ladies im sorry on thier be half u all r beautiful and unique in your own ways dont change and be strong guys cant live without girls =) …ALWAYS REMEMBER STAY STRONG AND STICK IT OUT ….LATER
Jacquie

I am in a long distance relationshp with my high school sweetheart whom I’ve been with for 8 years. As I read your article its has given me some good tips on how to keep things going. I am so in love with my boyfriend that I am also optimistic about long distance relationships. Although our distance is very far apart, I am on the other side of the world, he has been so loving and kind to come visit me twice already and plans to come once again. To all you couples in long distance relationships, always keep faith and be strong because in time we will be with our loves for the long run. To Eddie, thank you for writing a great article I especially agree with the hand written notes. It’s so much more personal and thoughtful to get once in a while.
Nick

My name is Stav and im 16 years old.My story began in march,2009. I went to my school exchange trip,for a week.Everything was great fun there and i really enjoyed it.We all had an exchange partner,lads were with lads and girls with girls.So one of my classmates (her name is Katie) exchange partner was very nice girl(Lisa).I put my eye on her from the beggining.I found out a lot about her from her friends,that she is very nice person.Then i found few steps to talk to her.On this steps during the week i fell in love with her..I couldnt expect that this will happen so fast.But we had only week for this all.I was so sad leaving the country,just because i wanted to see her everytime.On my last day we gave each other our contacts and still communicating,using programm msn.Unfortionatly we both are busy with different activities so we dont get much time to stay online,so normaly we send each other offline messeges. My friends say that im just wasting my time,her friends say im doing right thing,only few said that long dist. rel. never work..But I love her so much ,so i will never give up,because she is the first person i have such a feeling to.Before i just liked,but now its smth new…Shortly after i came back home ,i found out ,that Katie likes me(but i was never interested in her or ever will).im now warried about this thing,that Lisa and Katie are still communicating to keep their friendship untill the next visit of those to who we went in March.In school Ive noticed strange behaving from Katie to me,and now im sure there is smth going on between them two.Im afraid that Katie could do smthing bad, because Katie already knows Lisa loves me and i love her.What should I do?
Another thing i got news from Lisas friend,that some guy was asking her to meet him ,but she said no..and that there were few other lads,who tried the same,and she did the same with them.Lisa will come to my country in October,for her exchange trip.
Im looking for big help with this reletionship,from those who had some experience.I know some older people could think i am silly,but i really love Lisa and nothing can stop me from it.
nancy

ene wow i have the same problem when i read what u wrote i was like omg this is what i always complain to my friends about. Its like they say I LOVE U but no calls or email make it all a lie they give false promise and never back up their lies. im so confused to
RRRosh

Hi I am in a long distance relation and he says that he would like to have a physical oral sex with someone because he needs a touch of a woman and that I should let him but when it comes to me its a no! no!. We have cyber but these days he does not suggest and want me to ask for it and I am not because I feel if he can notice his urge and want to have fun sessions why can he not realise my needs…. please let me see thru this – I seem a little confused and a little insecured.
jen.

@RRRosh – oh my god. i am very sorry about your boyfreind. that is horrible and absolutley disrespectful from his part!!!! how long have you been with him? becasue i can see that if he was commited to a long distance relationshipa at the begg. then this is something he should have thought about WAYYYY before. i understand he may have an urge, but he needs to control it even as hard as it is. you deserve someone MUCHHHHHHH better than this guy. tell him either that he needs to decide what he REALLY wants. love or sex. but i am very soory. you need to think abut what you want as welll. just good luckkkk. !!! and take care. dont let him do that to you.
Missy

Just this week I said goodbye to my long distance boyfriend of 6 months. I didn’t want to end our relationship,but I could see the dismal end coming toward me. When we first began communicating (via phone, emai, text), he was so attentive. He called me everyday, most of the time several times a day. He made me feel confident enough to call him; he seemed geniunely happy when I called him. We grew so emotionally close inspite of the 700 miles that separated us. In April, he came to visit me, and we grew even closer. I knew that he was the one for me-the one I had been waiting for all these years (I’m 41 years old). When he returned home, we still maintained this closeness for about three days; and then, he began to back off and become emotionally distant. His phone calls decreased; he stopped emailing me, and his topics of conversation became less intimate and more impersonal. Of course, I noticed the change and grew very concerned. I asked him what was wrong and he told me about some challenges in his life that he was facing. He thought that these challenges would somehow hinder our relationship. After listening to his concerns, I truthfully told him that I knew that if we worked together these challenges would not prevent us from having a wonderful and long-lasting relationship. I thought that we had settled everything and things would return to normal, but they didn’t. Both of us were already a busy people, but somehow we managed to prioritize and communicate frequently. But after he returned home to Texas, he suddenly became even busier. Suddenly, he flew into an all out campaign to become wealthy; he was working all the time on his photography business. This of course left very little time for communicating with me. Once again, we talked about this issue. I explained to him with great clarity that frequent and meaningful communication is the only way that we could keep our relationship healthy. He agreed, but he only became busier and less communicative. I continued to make concessions about a calling schedule that would make him more comfortable and less stressed. I was willing to make things easier because I loved him and just wanted us to be together. However, things got worse. This week I just couldn’t take it anymore; my heart was breaking, and he didn’t seem interested in helping to keep our relationship alive. He would tell me that I meant the world to him, yet he still held me at a distance. It seemed as if he wanted out of the relationship but just didn’t know how to tell me. So, when I could stand it anymore, I told him goodbye. I had to tell him via voicemail because he wouldn’t pick up when I called. Later, I sent him an email message with an explanation attached to it so that he would fully know why I was saying goodbye. He has not responded to either messages. I’ve tried to call him three times since then, but he won’t answer my calls, so I just gave up trying. I guess that I was right, huh. He did want his freedom. And now that he has it, he has moved on. Horrible thing is: I still love him and miss him terribly. I grieve the loss of our future together. Together, we had painted such a lovely picture of our future life together, but I guess eventually he just changed his mind. I need to get over him, but I don’t know how. My heart is still grasping and clinging on to the hope that he will call and tell me and show me that he still wants us to be a couple. It has been years since I’ve opened up my heart to anyone, so this break up is especially painful. If anyone has any helpful advice, I’m listening.
http://lovesagame.com Eddie Corbano

@Missy –

My heart goes out to you, I’m sorry that it turned out this way for you.

The truth is, you may have a full schedule and maybe a 14 hour working day, but there is always time for a call or an e-mail. If you care, that you will look forward to this short moments with your partner.

So, I’m sure you did the right thing. No need to blame yourself.

Check out my breakup recovery articles, they might give you some comfort.

All the best,
Eddie
RRRosh

Thanks so much for your response – yes I do feel very disrespected at this point. We had a discussion regarding this and he still thinks its ok for him to have fun whereas for me its a no no! Anyway, yes I have to think about this – we are in a relation for the past 4and a half years…long time….when I tell him how I feel he says I sound baseless and make no sense…he wants me to have a control but I think he is not attracted to me anymore – which i did tell him and he denies. I can move on but he says he is only having this fun sessions cos his body demands and its only physical and he does tell me its only oral but even the its sex and he says that oral is not sex its just fun – oh this makes me sick!

Shenly

Hi…
I think you did the right things.
I understand the pain you are feeling.
Well, yes, it’s really so frustrating that he left you alone in the air.
But, in your part, at least you did your best to save the realtionship and continue what you two have started.
Getting over him would be hard, but you have to be strong and just face what has happened.
Move on and leave him alone.

jen.

@RRRosh –
HIi. thanks for the response! im so sorry once again that this is happeneing. I know you have been together for 4 years and thats quite a long time!!! when was the last time you guys talked on the phone or saw eachother?? me and my boyfreind are in different continents, hiim over seas and me in the states…i made it very clear to him that since we will not be seeing eachother for 2 years, that any cheating or anything will be intolerable. and he understands. its love. and love comes first, not body needs…
personally i think you and this guy maybe should take a break, but that i my idea, it depends do you still love him? give him your circumstances///..but i think you can alwayysssssssssssssss find someone better thatll love you and respect for you!!! no mattterr the distance. but think of it as his loss. not yours.! =] i hope that i works out, and good luckk!!!!=]]]]
RRRosh

@jen. – Thanks Jen for the supporting and understanding reply. Makes sense to me. As a matter of fact I am actually getting a bit tired of all this. If he thinks I do not make sense in anything that I say when I feel then ofcourse there is no need to be together. Although I am rather tired, its going to take sometim to wear him off my system… its been a long time like I said. We talk on the phone at least 3 times a/day ( that’s when I call ) he says its very expensive to call from his country. He has called no doubt when we have had fights and I am pissed at him. but that is ofcourse he wants to patch things up. I have also known for a few weeks that calling cards are available all over the world these days and if he wanted he could have called and surprised me but that has to come… And the other thing is that he has not even once sent me a card for birthday – he makes a brief call to wish me. He has never sent a Valentine card – says everyday is valentine…I don’t even have a piece of tissue paper from him that I can keep for myself and feel when I miss him whereas he has so many things from me that he can have by his side if he misses me…I do sound unhappy, don’t I? Well something really needs to be done and I am so glad I was able to share my feelings FINALLY. I never discuss my personal pain to anyone, but I suppose it really helps like it did this time. Thanks…Please keep supporting me till I am done with this issue – will certainly make me stronger in taking the right decision. Its great to have unconditional friends.
Thanks and be blessed.
Jennifer

@RRRosh –

Heyyy. im very glad to hear back from you. Im actaully surprised you are taking my advice, most people wouldnt casue im younger, but I guess your more understanding thanks. =]
anways, Im glad to hear that you are seeing the truth, and are kind of realizing what this guy is doing isnt okay. You know, today is my one year aniversary with my boyfreind, he didnt tell me/nor wish me anything, and its okay, all i know is that if we love eachother thats all that matters, and know that from within.
my birthday i didnt get anything, but its okay. im glad just to HAVE him in my life, and have him be the one im with.anways, you know im here for youuuu. even if its hard. i understand, just whenever your ready, im here to listen. thats what people are for, and the most importnat thing is to SAY your feelings, it hurts to bottle them up trust me! =]

dont worry, i think guys are just lazy haha. ive have never recieived a call except when i tell him to. lol. but its okay.
i havent heard his voice, for 2 monthhhsss its sad. i know

but well be togethr one day=] ill see him next aummmer!
anwayssss. keepppppp. being strong and im here!! whenever you wanna talk!
just know what you want, and go for it!!!! thats what i live by!!!
and when he missees your birthdays or doesnt ccall i always adress it to my boyf. you need to tell him every problem!!!!!! its helpssssss. i mean it works for me, my boyf. doesnt work well with confrontation and ignores, but i mAKEs him talk about it. lol.
i know a little conrolling, but i tell him its for him own good…haha.

when was the last time yousaw himmm??
anways talk to you soon! good luck. and im here. =]

@Jennifer –

and dont worryyy everything will be fine!!!
itll work out.
talk soon!
take care. and your welcome. =]

RRRosh

Thanks Jen – I will certainly keep you posted. I am in the process of calling it a day so its going to be a while before I can recover from this break, so bear with me and will contact you again – hope pretty soon. Thanks for all your help…..God bless you.

Jen

@RRRosh –

Hey, take your time. JUst remember be strong, and take it slow.
Everything will be good again!
=]] Good Luck, and your very welcome.
jhchitz

Hi! Im in long distance relationship. I met this guy on chat..for the 1st day of chatting. i was attracted to him, the way he chat.so i asked him to send his pictures….when i saw it..i fell in love with him/pictures..everyday we’re chatting ..the next day i asked him to view his cam..but he told that he was totally different . i didn’t know that the pictures he send was took 7 yrs. from now..but i insist…i told that even though how many years will past.. i could see any resemblance but then when i saw his cam..he was totally different and i was disappointed. .but then we continue chatting… but as the days past i feel bored…as i cant’ see his cam..if i ask his cam…he have reasons… but he spend his time chatting with me..i want to break with him but its too early…i feel in love with the pictures..

when i told that he is not in the picture…his saying that i don’t believe or love him but i love his attitude..his sweet and understanding,.

what will i do? i still love the pictures and i don’t want to break him bec. i don’t want to lost his trust on me..but i had the doubt that he is not in the pictures but his reason is it was him..he planned to visit me but I’m afraid?

RRRosh

Hi Jhchitz, I can understand how you feel at this point, but lets be realistic: Like you said you are in love with the pictures… there you go! Pictures are not going to share emotions so if you think you are in love with the pictures then there are so many cute poster of cute guys available and we cannot be in love with them. Yes your expections were much higher and the wecam disappointed you but you have to understand that this guy sent you pictures of him 7 years old but he is talking to you in present – he should have sent you his recent picture so you would accept him for what he is and not what he was. Yes he can be the nicest person, but was he honest right from the start? Right now its too fresh and you do not feel like breaking off – he is not going to loose any trust in you – you have already lost the trust – you are in love with the pictures and not the man. Because of the excitement you are more like a can of coke – the carbonation is high at this point – as soon as it gets flat, you will get out of denial and accept the reality. I hope you are able to handle in a better and realistic manner. Its not easy when the emotions are so strong, but I hope and pray things go well with you. I know its easy said thean done – God bless your heart.

gemini

I have been in long distance before. I have met this man at a certain dating site before. He was very nice and very charming that i fell in love with him that fast. We talked almost everyday, we used every possible way of communication..email, cellphones, skype..we were inseparable..the relationship lasted for over 7 months. we never fight, i thought our relationship was perfect, he was very understanding and very supportive with me..and i am to him..one day we finally set time to meet in person..i already filed a leave of absence from work. prior to his flight he received the news that he will be transferred to NYC because he got a new job..

Couple of days before his flight, he told me that he cant be here because he can longer change the date of his flight..there was a conflict of schedule between his new work and his scheduled flight to PHil to meet me..i understand that..so we made some adjustments..but along the way…he just stop communicating with me.

I tried to contact him several times, but no answer until one day he sent me an email saying that he got entrenched with his new work and that he needed time to focus on it..i was really devastated knowing that he chose his work over me but i realized he was just being practical..he has certainty with his work and i felt that he is still have doubts on our relationship whether it will work or not..so i decided to moved on..there is no use of waiting for someone who obviously is not interested to still pursue the relationship with me.

But the problem is until now, im having hard time to date with a new guy because i unintentionally will compare the new guy to him which is know is wrong. I know i should give myself time the chance to be happy again and be with another man. i kept telling myself that im just clinging to a ghost but i cant just forget him..its been a year now since we lost contact but until now i am always thinking about him no matter what i do..a lot of things reminds me of him..

But im not losing my hope, i know one day i will finally be over with him and one day I WILL FIND MY MAN…its just it hurts because i want to move on but im stuck with all his memories..it’s hard to forget someone who has been always nice with you..

i still love him even until now…but i know sooner or later i will get over him..i just need to maybe give myself a time to heal..until when..i dont know..time will tell..
Jason

Thanks eddie, i got into a long distance relationship beginning of the year, i didn’t do enough research on how to handle myself, now we ended out relationship and i realize what i did wrong and hope she knows i’ll always be here for her, i live my everyday to make myself better, hope she sees it and take the little poor homless puppy home =(
vivacia

When I went into a long distance relationship 3 years ago I didn’t realize that I would still be waiting. I know that he is the one for me and I’m going to love him for the rest of my life….. He’s the best person that I could ever ask for inside and out. He makes me laugh and still opens the door for me, walks me to the car and insists on picking up all the tabs….I love him most because he is most patient with me and makes me feel great about myself.

I read through some of the post and there are many times where I find myself frustrated and angry and doubtful. Then I found World of Warcraft and that helped a lot, instead of waiting around for his calls I was busy doing other things. I’m not saying start playing wow, but do something that you really like and get yourself so involved that it helps to pass the time.

I am not a patient person, but for this man I have become patient.
He has the resources to visit me every month if he wanted to, but he didn’t even once. Work was first and for him providing for the family in the future was his most important priority. I’m flattered that he thinks that I deserve this lifestyle, where I don’t have to work…..but I am not that person, this difference between us has been a problem. I would work and help provide if it meant that we could be together sooner… but he would not have this.

I’m writing this because I’m at my limit, I don’t want to end this but I don’t want to be left in the dark any longer. yes, I’ve tried to ask him when we would come home and the answer is always “soon.” We recently started playing poker on facebook, with my friends and family and it’s been great. But I have everyone telling him that I’m not going to wait forever and then he says that he is just working to give me everything that I could ever want….and then all my friends/family are like “oh my god he is so sweet, you’d be a fool if you left him…” But I have exhibited so much self control I have never looked at another man or ever thought about being with anyone. The reason I want to move on is just that if he really loved me…I mean really and truly loved me how could you be away from them for that long? I would have been happy if all he had was a layover, I mean Guam is an 8 hour flight from Hawaii…if all he had was an hour to sit with me at the airport I would have given everything just for that……
Carrie

Hey. I Can Say I Can Refer O2 Alycha I Am Only 18 Yrs Old And i Have Had A Long Distance Relationship Where My Boyfriend Lived In Bk And We Only Saw Each Other Once. When We First Started Talkinq We Never Saw Each Other We Started Datinq Based On Personality. We Broke Up After O4 Mths Because I Gues I Wasnt Ready For It. I Was 15 At Dha TIme. Now Im In DHa Best Relationship I Ever Had. I Knw My Boyfriend Since 8th Grade And He Is Truely Dha Light I Needed. I Am So Use O2 Seeinq Him I Worry How I Will Be This cominq Aug. He Is Going Awayy For College And Im Afraid That I Dny Knw If I Can Handle It. It Going To Be Hard Not Feelinq His Skin OR Seeing His Smile OR Ever Smeelinq His Cologne. I Trust Him With All My Heart But Beinq In A Passt Relationship Where The Boy Said He Loved Me And Would Never Hurt Me Ended Up Cheating Then Again After He Promised Not O2. And It Was Done For All Dha Wrong Reasons. This Is Why Im Afraid I Dnt Mean O2 Compare Him But Im Afraid Of Not What He Might DO But What The Little Whores Up There Might Do. He Is A Cute Bo And Dresses Lovely And Has Money So I Knw How Little Girls Can Get. But Reading This Article HAs Helped Me Alot And Hopefully Everythinq Will Go Well.
cynic

@MJ – hey vivacia, i’m so touched by your story .. 3 years is a long time and i know wat u mean coz i was in my relatioship (long distance) for 4. We broke it off early this year. But i just wanted to say that, he seems like da kind who knows exactly what to say and what to do. First, make sure he doesn’t have a wife or a girlfriend in the city he lives in. (just bein a cynic.. but is imp). Second, if he loves u y isn’t he there yet? or y doesn’t he visit often? work? common, the entire world works.. he seems pretty resourceful .. i think he can make it. Let him know how imp it is for u to meet more often or step up da relationship a lil. And if he still doens’t do anything, then he doens’t really care what u ‘want’ and u should start seriously ‘talking it out’ or thinking about yourself.. coz seriously waitin for a guy for 3 yrs, playing wow to keep urself busy and playin poker on facebook and hav ur folks tell u he’s a gr8 guy coz he knows exactly wat to say is kinda sad. And all dat just coz he opens ur doors, walks u to ur car and picks up the tabs.. think again. To me, he seems to do everything right and that’s a problem because, it could be two things.. either he’s really good at this thing (i.e. player in which case u shoudl be careful) or he’s just a really really good guy.. in which case,, how come he hasn’t fixed this thing yet (hardly sees u in 3 yrs?? problem!!).. and about having enough money to be wid u!.. umm… sounds very fishy.. (if it is imp to you too.. figure out how much exactly does he need to save more.. or how long exactly.. if not it can go like this forever… and the last thing you want is to be in the same place doing the same things.. may be wow 2 or something in the next 3 yrs).. sorry for being a cynic.. but i do wish u good luck.. hope u get this right girl!. good luck.
marisa

My bestfriend’s boyfriend hooked me up with his friend, and we hit it off great. We met a few times and hung out, but after a few months things went down hill. He decided long distance relationship just wouldn’t work for us. I was heart broken for awhile trying to get him off my mind, then suddenly his cousin Paul was the shoulder i needed to cry on. He told me how he knew that his cousin made a mistake letting me go and he was just there for me. He listened. Soon after that he was on my mind like crazy. We talked for hours everyday and ended up really falling for each other. It’s been a couple months now and we have had a sort of on and off again relationship. We haven’t fought yet, and we love each other to death. Only one problem, i haven’t met him in person yet. I know it sounds crazy to love someone so much with all your heart without even having that physical connection. We do talk to eachother on our webcam’s so its close enough for now. He really only lives about 30 minutes away from my house but I’m only 14 and he’s 15. So for the next year we are putting our relationship on hold till he has his license and his car. I am just so nervous he will find someone else, someone better. I probably shouldn’t be worrying this much but i can’t help it. I have never felt this way towards anyone. I don’t have many people to talk to about him because no one understands. They see my age and go, oh no way is she truly “in love”. But i just feel it. If i don’t talk to him for awhile i feel like i am going to get sick and i cant even explain how lonley i feel without him. I just hope this all works out and i give my blessings to everyone in a long distance relationship. I know how it feels to love someone so much and not even get to hold there hand. I’d give anything to just do that..
Kate

@Carrie –
AT CARRie,
Hi there, I read your story and totaly felt you. I can see that you really like this guy of course, and you are in love. Thats great and happy for you! BUt the thing that worries you is about him leaving and the cheating part right? Well, thats somehting i went through. I had my first boyfriend, it was a long distance, we got so close and saw eachother everyday then he had to move, and then he cheated on me. Broke my heart. BUt then now I am with someone else new, and never been happier, We used to see eachother, becasue I went back home last summer, and havent seen him since. Its hard, but you know the thing that worried me was the cheating. It terrified me of coming home back to the states, and finding out he met some one new. Alot of girls i know like him alot, and he has alot of girls after him. But Ive told him straight up if that a direction he wants to take me down again, then this relationship aint gonna be worth it, and that he would be the second person the break my heart. Hereminided me that he loved me and would never do soething like that, and you know what I believed him and still do. You just have to trust him, cuz thats the one thing that will keep a long distance relationship strong. Having a long distance relationship teaches us patience, and trust, and more than ever love. So hold on, and let him go to college. If he truly loves you it will show, sure you’ll miss his touch and all of that. BUt it will pass, ive been with him fr a year, and soon ill see him!!!! Im so happy. Just be strong, and he reminds me of that everyday. Talk to him on the phone, and find anyway to keep in contact! And itll be all good! itll be worth it, honestly.
Anways, hope my story will help you out! Good Luck!!!! And trust him. you love him, he loves you, thats ALL that counts!!!
=]
sahara

its so nice to see someone online helping people… i am actually undergoing with a long distance love now… my bf is in portland and i live in philippines.. i love him so much… before we talk almost 8 hours a day but then on our 3 months he lessen his time for me… he said he was just busy but then why with those 2 months he gave me more time than now?… i was just thinking if his losing his interest with me… wat will i do to gain his full love with me again?….

thanks a lot..

ara

Shenly

ahhh…maybe he just needs space
be thankful that despite his busy sched, he still finds time ( at least 2 hours) to talk with you

Mandy

Wow, a lot of this I can relate with. I have been in a relationship for alomost 10yrs now and its only been since Dec. 08 have we been living 12hrs away. We have two awesome children and it has been hard on our 9year old as well. Due to the commute we may see him 4days out of the month, if that. At first, I could tell he missed us. Called everyday many times but over time, he adjusted. A couple of his roomates were single. that didnt help. His attitude has changed, he may call home once a day. His whole life has changed. I feel like I dont even know him anymore and the bad thing is there are jobs closer to home now but he doesnt want to come back. He is now telling me that we need to end it. He tells me I have changed when all that has changed is I am even more so busy now being mommy and daddy. I stay depressed, cry and dont want to do anything these days. I dont want to loose my family over some new life that he is living. I dont know what to do. And I am scared if I dint do something I will be a single mom for sure.
Shelley

hi,
i need serious help im so confused.
see me & my boyfriend have been dateing for 1 year and hes been emotionally abusing me because i took porn away from him and he took out his anger on me everyday since then and he almost left me for some other girl to say i need to change when hes been torchering me and never says sorry or anything he says he loves me… but im just so hurt.. i dont believe him anymore and he keeps blameing me and he just wont change but i just love him sooo much i cant break up with him… also were from two different states and we cant meet up till i move into my new house which will take a month or so.. i feel like im loseing him.. please someone help me.. i just dont know who i am anymore im so confused so hurt..

glenda keeton

shelley
i was like that i didnt want my baby daddy to watch porn but i thought about it and it doesnt brother me cause i knew he would cheat or i just let him have it porn isnt a bad thing sometimes

Warren

@Shelley –

Shelley — when you say you “took the porn away”, I am just wondering if that is something that we have the right to demand of our significant others.
Jessie

@Shelley –

Hi there, first of all im so sorry that you are going through something like this, no one should ever have the power to put you through this. Im angered by the fact its becasue his “porn” maybe you should have talked to him and told him you are uncomfortable with him watching that, and he should understand and love you enough to stop, you shouldnt be mothering him to stop. this guy doesnt sound someone too good for you, im sorry as muchh as this hurts but i think the best way to go is to leave him!!!
you deserve SOOO much better, and emotional abuse is the BEST reasonn!!! he shouldnt be allowed to do it. you should love yourself MORE to give yourself better than this!!!! you dont deserve it, and he doesnt love you enough to put you through this. I think you need to set your priorites, is it your happiness? and well-being or to be with someone who might in the end up hurting you in a more dangerous way. maybe you think we dont know you guys or we dont know him but by judging by what you said your unhappy! and hes the reason evenn if you dont see it!
talk to him and tell him how you feel, and how the way he is treating you is intolerable and if that doesnt get through to him, then the best way to go is let him go, theres always someone BETTER out there waiting or you ! I hope this makees you feel better and that you know what you really want and set it straight take care of yourself, and good luck!!!!!
keep in touch. ))
Jessie

@Warren –

I think she has the right to if she feels it something she is unomfortable with, becasue he is her significant other then maybe she feels she doesnt want him seeing other, becasue maybe she may not feel okay with it.
glenda keeton

im in a long distance relationship he lives like 5 hrs away from from me and we talk on the phone and text and we talk on myspace and this gurl leaves me a comments and its werid b/c he said that they havent talked in awhile but they went to college together and they spent some time together and i know i can trust him and stuff but i dont know….we been seeing each other since june but i hope it works out..hes a sweet guy and stuff and i hope i dont have to break his heart
Jessica

ok so me and this guy have been talking for about 4 months now. we are not yet labled as bf-gf. He lives about an hour away and he has a past just as well as I only he has a child and I do not. He already went back to her once and left me hanging at the deep end. He came back and says taht he really likes me and wants something to work out between the both of us because we have alot in common and have great personalities. I just do not know what to do because I do like him but we have only seen eachother a few times in the months and we recently got into an arguement because we made plans to see eachother of course life happens and the plans fell through….I got mad and I have not talked to him for a few days. I thought he would call or text me by now but he has not. I feel bad but I am just stuck in this situation because I really wanted to see him and I basically told him fine whatever then text or call me later or whenever ur not busy that type of deal. Do you think I pushed him too far? I am lost. Please help.
Kayla

@Jessica –

SO Hi there, im sorry to hear you are going through something like this, its really sad…
by looking at your situation i truly think that this guy is might be using you…you said he went back to her once and left you there, and when his ex left him he came running to you…
and now he has not even made an effort to talk/call/message you or anything, that kind of shows his not willing to realllllyyyy…go out of his way to contact you…and if he really wanted to be with you and loved you…then he would have already done so…
there are better guys than him…he also has a kid…his ALWAYS gonna have to go back to the mother of his child…becasue of the child…but i think maybe you should let him gooo…and go out there for someone else!!!
i hope this helps, and im sorry if this wasnt what you were looking for…sometimes it happens. :/

well gooooodluck!!! and take care.
shelley

@Warren -

hes obessed with porn & has been for 9 years and i didnt want him checking out other women while dateing me so i made him stop & he started being extremely mean to me after that so after acouple monthes of him torchering me i let him watch it again & hes still being extremely mean to me… he made me cry 2 weeks straight cuz of all the mean things he was saying to me and he never once said sorry.. or showed any regret

@Jessie –

i did tell him it made me uncomfortable he just kept saying it was important to him & stuff he made it sound like he was dateing it.. i felt like it was taking away attenstion he should have towards me so i made him stop watching it then he started being extremely mean i put up with it for acouple monthes mostly i just defended myself but after awhile i let him watch it again just not as much cuz he was obesssed with it, he told me hes been watching porn for 9 years & i didnt want him to get obessed with it again but after i let him watch it again he hasnt changed at all hes extremely mean still and i even told him he needs to change or ill leave & he still hasnt shown any change weve had many fights after i asked for help on here.. i dont want to leave.. i just cant do it.. if i did i dont think i could handle the pain.. hes my everything.. i just miss the old him… i love him so much.. i dont think i could ever fall in love again if i broke up with him i dont even think i would try to find someone else i would just give up on love completely..
rossana

heyy. here is my case.
im 16 years old and i am in a long distance relationship at the momment. i met him last year and we talked for a weeks and we decided to start a relationship. the relationship was amazing he would call EVERY NIGHT. leave me cute messages and all that, i never tht way about a guy everrr. after a month of being in a relationship i received the news that his ex girlfriend was pregnant, and it was his baby. i was crushed, he didnt wanna break up and neither did i. but since he was busy bcuz of the baby, all we did was fight until we decided we couldnt be together anymore. so months passed and after like 3 or 4 months he starte trying to talk to me again. he would leave me messages, comments and all tht but i wuldnt awnser. until this year on april 14th he messaged me and i decided to anser back. we talked for 2 hours and he asked to call. he called me and we stayed up on the phone all night. talking about what had happend to us and our feelings. since then we have been talking constantly but since he is a musician he travels a lot during the summer and when ever he gets a break from school. so we said to keep in touch he would write to me. so he wrote to me all the time he was away. then the day he said he’d be back he called me and we talked for hours. what i love about him is that we dont talk about stupid stuff like teenagers our age usually do and he’s only 17. so he’s pretty mature for his age and i can never get bored on the phone because we will always find something to laugh or talk about. we are not afraid to show the real us. sometimes we have even cried on the phone because we miss eachother so much. he has talked to all my family and my mom loves him. i talked with his dad too. and he’s te sweetest guy but i have trust issues. from passed experiences i learned to not trust a guy and the lng distance makes it even harder. but every chance he has he calls me or writes to me. and since i saw his effort the other night he told me he wanted us back together and i said yes. so we started going out again. <3333 he really makes me happy when i talk to him. and i culd leave everything and everyone just to spend time talking to him. i have told my friends about it and some think is stupid but some actually understand me. i mean long distance relationships do work, yu just have to know HOW to make them work. and be commited to what yu really feel. dont let yur friends or anyone else come between yu and yur love one. if he or she is really the one it will last or maybe if yur young yu can break up and then live yur life and yu dont know if years later yu might see that person again and start a relationship and get married. everything can be possible in this crazy world. and at my age im still trying to find myself and falling inlove has helped me a lot. i dont think like i used to think 2 or 3 years ago. im happy but i wanna be with him so bad. and there's so many guys over here that have made even think twice about being in a long distance relationship. and its so confusing but i try to be faithful and as honest as i can be to keep my loved one with me…
Leland

My girlfriend and I are in a very difficult long distance relationship. She’s in the Army: no phone calls longer than 2 minutes once a week, we can really only rely on letters. No texting, no webcams, no IMing…

But we both have plenty of trust and we already tell each other in journal-like letters what’s happened pretty much every day.

I might see her next in one month, but it’s highly unlikely. The closest date is in February- 5 months. It’s really hard to deal with, but you can really find out if you love them or not. We’re both ready to deal with this; we want a life together.
Jess:)

.Soo, im 18 and my bf and i have been going out for almost 3 years and a half, he lived in the same state same town, like 10 mins away from my house, and before he moved to another continent we used to fight all the time, it was unbelievable, i couldn’t stand how he used to be so jealous,we used to argue for the most random stuff, until he told me he had to move, after the ”great” news, i was devastated, i couldn’t believe how much i cared for him, so we cried every night we were together, it was like a clock ticking waiting for the day of his departure, once he got there the first week was torture, ugh it hurt so much, but we talked everyday and saw each other in the camera. Every dumb argument stopped, it was like we just started a relationship, cute texts, nice to readddd emails, great talks on the phone, like falling in love again with the same person, we started to make plans towards the future since now we are kinda of getting ”older” and i love to miss him, is so different than before, we treat eachother with so much respect, he has been gone for 4 months i think, and he is coming backkk thank god, in about a couple of weeks, yah he coulndt live without me, so im so pumped to seee to see him, well… we gain our trust back and hopefully our relationship will remain as it is now, i just wanted to say this because im wicked happy and i hope every one of you get to be with that person you love the most, it sucks to be apaartt,!!!! thanks
shlin

@MJ –

it does often happens in relationship but.. if a guy loves a girl and marriages different girl.. even if for a family reason.. it means that he is playing with u.. m not saying that u didn’t gave him enough love.. what i mean is.. u loved him truly but .. he is betraying u .. …he just want to have physical relation with u even after he is married. thats all.. it is.. dont make it complicating .. its a fact. sorry if my saying mind hurt u .. hope for best to u….
http://www.Genker.com Cat

A lot of people aren’t willing to put in the work required to make a long-distance relationship successful. It’s not easy, and many people should simply say “no thanks” if they’re not ready. I was burned before by a boyfriend who couldn’t keep his word in a long-distance scenario.
Kay

Yea me and my bf just ended our long distance relationship…a few days ago and its really been hard on me its been a year and i cant imagine not being with him..he said that he wants to be single and not have to worry about calling someone every night….he seems so much happier now without me it makes me feel like crap. He wants to be friends still and every time we talk i just get so sad that hes so happy without me. I don’t wanna lose him as a friend but i don’t know what to do. I really wanna be happy and move on and just get over this. We had so many things planed out and he just told me the truth about everything how he dident wanna move in with me and leave all his family and friends, he said it wasent worth it. He makes me feel like shit all the time and i know i need to move on that he was not the right one but it hurts so much.
melissa98

My boyfreind and I have been together for 4 years and we are planning to get married. We met in high school and have been with each other every day. He got a job with his step dad in an oil field and he is in another state. I miss him so much. I want to keep hope but we hardly talk. It hurts so bad but I cant be negutive. I know he misses me but it sucks. Ive never had a long distance realationship. He will be working there for a few years. I will be moving out there with him in 6 months! I dont know what to do.
Dorothye

@Kay – KAY let me tell you along time ago.i was in a LDR for 6 years with this guy. omg i was so in love with him. then he broke my heart. for 4 years i had a hard time getting over him. i felt like i couldnt love any more. all my love was gone.
and i had to disconnect with him. he still wanted to be friends but i couldnt do it becuase i loved him so much. and it wasnt good for me and my HEART.. if you are hurting by this. you need to move on. you need to take a break from him and get your heart back together and do you for awhile.. talking to him as just friends is just gonna hurt you more and more each day.. just the thought of him not lovinng you is hard enough. and the fact that he is happy with out you. is really bad and hes wrong for telling u that. you dont need that at all..
so this is what i say.. move on and find someone that will love you more than anything in this world. and i promise you will.
LDR are hard and it takes special people to reall work on a LDR.. not everyone can do a LDR. ..
soo GOOD LUCK

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