10 Rules To Make Long Distance Relationships Work

by Eddie Corbano

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Nearly everyone has experienced a long distance relationship at some point in his life. Most of us have failed to maintain it and have broken up, even though this may have been a promising relationship. Why is that so? What are the common reasons to break up in those long distance relationships and how can you make them work?

To begin with, I was there myself. A good friend of mine gave my e-mail address to his wife’s best friend. Shortly after that she dropped me a line. So we got to know each other. By e-mail.

The great thing about e-mail communication is, there are no games. At least there shouldn’t be. You can present yourself as the person you are. You can truly open up.

So we fell in love just for the persons we were. No masks, no shields. But still 2000 miles apart.

Of course the critical moment was when we first met. Would the picture we had about each other synchronize with the outer picture? If you’ve been dishonest, then you will fail at this point. Luckily it worked out for us.

Long distance relationships can occur for a number of reasons. Here are some of the common scenarios:

You’ve met in a chat room or at an online personal site and realized in the end that you were several states far away from each other.
You recently graduated college and have moved back to your home town and your boyfriend or girlfriend has continued to stay in the college town.
At work you’ve been promoted and sent to a new city for an important program and will be in that location for several months.

Long distance relationships have both, advantages and disadvantages. For some, the distance is a good help to slowly open up to the relationship without the incessant presence of the partner. The romance stays kindled because you aren’t around the person 24/7 seeing various habits and routines that can get repetitive.

In terms of disadvantages, it is very frustrating that there is no intimacy, no hugging, no kissing. At least between the meetings. You will experience difficulties in connecting because you don’t have eye contact and can’t take walks or enjoy dinners out together.

Then again that makes the meetings so much more intense then they would be in a “normal” relationship. It’s the quality, not the quantity.

Long distance relationships can work, but there are some rules and guides you have to follow.

Of course, there is also a very important condition without an long distant relationship can not work:

You must have a true interest in each other. I mean a deep emotional connection, whether you’ve been together before the spacial separation or you’ve met each other through chat/e-mail. I’m afraid a physical attraction is not enough. That’s why most summer vacation affairs fail in the end.

Here are the rules that made my personal long distance relationship work:

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My Recommendation For Further Reading:

The Long-Distance Relationship Survival Guide - Secrets From Successful Couples Who Have Gone The Distance
Long Distance Relationships: The Complete Guide - Proven Strategies For Building And Maintaining A Successful LDR

5 Must-See Related Posts:

About The Author:

Eddie Corbano is a breakup-coach, relationship-advisor and founder of LovesAGame. He suffered from a devastating break up in 1998. Since then, he dedicated his life to helping others getting the best of this existential experience. The overcoming of a break up is an important step to autonomy and independency. Eddie Corbano developed some new coaching programs, which focus on evolving inner strength and the power to set and reach any personal goal. (Article written on March 21st, 2007)
Show all posts by Eddie Corbano

jennifer

hi im 18 and i met my boyfriend in high school and we’ve been going out a little over a year now. and hes away at college and im still in the city. i trust him irly do with everything and i rly believe he wnt hurt me. but he doesn’t feel the same way. he tells me he can’t trust me and all these things. and he’s the one going out to parties and drinking, dancing, and i’m thinking is it pissible to have too much trust in someone? i’M AFRAId of being hurt and i think that’s the problem i’m jusst tooafriaid and i could be getting my heart broken and not even noticing it. wat do u think ?
Jen

There is something truly special about long distance relationships. As frustrating as it may be sometimes it is always worth it in the end. My boyfriend is in the Marine Corps and I am in my 4th yr of college. We are each doing our own thing seperately, and it’s terribly difficult to be apart all of the time because of school, work, and deployments. When we are together there is nothing better. We cherish every minute we have together even if it’s only for a weekend. I have to say that I definitely agree with all ten rules!
kim sharma

hi jen,

i understand your feelings but you should talk to him straightway that what does he want . You should ask him that which type of relationship he is expecting from you because it is going to be much easier for you in future if you guys have set up everything before because one side dedication doesn’t work for so long so it’s better to face the truth rather knowing the truth but trying to deny it.

hope you will think practically about this
Jan

I have a question for those that have a long term relationships. Sometimes when you are talking to each other it makes me wonder what others say to each other or how they always have something to talk about. To make a long story short I have been in a long distance relationship for about six months now and at the beginning we have been talking a lot basically sharing and learning about things from each other to the point where I basically learned everything about his life and he knows about mine. And now it has seem that when we talk there is less and less to talk about because we pretty much know what each other’s day is like. I understand that it isn’t necessarily to always have something to say to each other and that just the prescence of the person is enough at time but it makes it hard since I’m afraid that we might slowly drift apart. Another thing is that I have met this person online and with the way my schedule is and my family situations I can not see this person for about another year or maybe until August of next year.
Moniqah

Eddie…

Great article!! It’s always good to know that there are people like you who stay positive and provide positive feedback regarding long distance relationships! Everything you outlined in your article is true, LDR are not impossible, it’s about being strong and believing in what you have. You gave practical, doable and legitimate advice!
-XchelsX-

Hi to everyone who reads this.

I need a little help. My boyfriend and I are in a long distance relationship and we just had our first MAJOR argument last night. Sure, we’ve had discussion where we dont see eye to eye, but it seems those differences bring us closer. Not this time. I felt disrespected because of a video he favourited on YouTube. It was a bunch of barely legal girls dancing like… Well, it was very inappropriate and they barely had clothes. Thats saying a lot coming from me, since Im 18.

Well, I brought it up with him and he kind of flipped. I explained to him how I felt. That by favouriting that, or even watching it, he was somewhat lusting for those girls. Did he want me to dress like that or did he wish I looked like that? I dont know.

I told him all of my thoughts, how I felt disrespected, and how it really bothered me and he wasnt being empathetic at all. Nor sympathetic. In the end, I was the one that ended up apologizing so it wouldn’t lead to a break up. He says I threw everything out of proportion and I never said anything before when he was watching “other” videos *hint, hint* via the internet.

Was I wrong and did I throw everything out of proportion?

I just need some advice and anyones thoughts on this, please. And thanks to all who may help.

Big thanks to Eddie! This site had been an amazing help and guide for me. Its never let me down before.
anonymous

@-XchelsX-

Hey i just got out of a long distance relationship. and well all i can really tell u is that Boys will be boys and watch that kind of stuff you know, but they will hit the age when they will soon realize to grow up and stop u know? but be carful with the guy haha.. might end up breakin ur heart
Melissa

Great article.
My boyfriend actually found this a few months ago..
I wish he found this 3 years ago… would have saved soo much pain.

Me and my LD have been on and off for 3 years. This time around we’ve stayed together for 5 mouths as of the 8th. We are extremely happy right now, he’ll be coming to see me for the first time in 8 months. I met him on chatpit..
Many people dont think this can work.. bc there is no or very little physical contact. Personally, being bi polar. Long distance relationships are alot easier for me because of that. You get to know the actually person inside.. and then when you get your chance.. you can get to know them on the outside.. you know what i mean ?

I think you should like.. post this on like myspace and facebook, make it known that LDR’s can work.
Yvette

I’ve been in a LDR for 2 and a half years, 5 months of that time moved to his state and lived with him. I missed my family and decided to go back home. We ended but 3 wks after I left we are now back on and in 3 months he’s coming back to my home state where we met to stay for good. We met while we were working together, he was attending school, graduated and had no choice to move back home. Its a struggle but our love keeps us going. You have to be strong and have a lot of trust to be in this kind of relationship. Its not easy, but what is.
holly

@-XchelsX- -

hey well i think i would have done the same thing to be completely honest like idk i get a lil jealous when i think he is talk in to other girls i have had that happen to me b4 with my ex huband..well me and my bf have been together for like a month now and we r like head over heels for each other but we havent told it bluntly lol but one day i had his phone and there was a pic of a blonde girl well a message had poped up and it said well i seen u on sat with that girl u was all over that B..ch i was like omg what the world u know well i asked him about it and him being hispanic he said it was his friends u know he had to txt the girl bc his friend couldnt spell enlish i was so upset i called a guy friend had him come pick me up and everything i was crying abd well come to find out he as tell the truth but the lesson i learned is a guy is a guy if he is looking then maybe its just to see what he truly has i mean my bf will look at a girl and then look at me and say im the best he will ever meet well i hope i helped u out what im trying t o say is …….when u see a cute guy not u at least glance??? see dont get mad at every little thing it will ruin ur relationship bad!!
david

hey i just got intomy second long distant relationship with a woman that i really care about but lately see been pushing me to the side for no reason and i dont what to really do because my last LDR wasnt like this i dont want to cut her off because shes a beautiful woman and i dont want to hurt her in no kind of way i would really appreciate it thanks
richard

im 18 and im in my first long distance my freinds tell me to let her go but im so into her more than any girl at my school. she lives in ohio i live in florida, we were holding on real nice for about a year and half i couldnt get her off my mind kinda lowered in my studies lol but anyhow now its kinda hard since were both seniors at our schools and were about to start our lives but all this seems so complicated now i planned on bringing her down here over the summer but she thinks that me putting cash for her is like for nothing i told her we can go to the same college but her parents are over protective shes stubborn like iam unfortunately and i told her maybe i should head over there to meet her rents she doesnt mind but shes worried what they might say and well she just wants to get out of there. right now im so complicated in this idk what to do i love her and she loves me but it feels like were on our last hold. =/ i want to get her down here to study with me in university of miami but her parents are holding her back what do i do? someone please respond to my SOS appreciate it
Jessica

Hi I’m having trouble with my long distances relationship with my bf he’s can be so sweet at times but then he turns around ad gets all mad for no reason and says he doesn’t think I love him he’s so negitive sometimes and idk what to say to him when he’s like that he says I don’t show him enough love but I’m kinda scared to show it cause I might mess up what should I do????
Kelsey

this is a really good article, has great advice. but what about long distance relationships where you can’t communicate with your bf on a regular basis? where you have no idea when you can see him, and it seems as if he doesn’t want you to post him a letter? i was with my bf for 7 months before he moved to another state for the army, so he’s in training at the moment. the next time i’ll be able to see him is april, and after that, i have no idea. he’ll be in the army for at least 4 years. he hardly ever gets to use a phone, doesn’t use the internet down there apparently, and he won’t tell me how to address a letter to him. (even though i already found out, and have been telling him all i need to know from him is his platoon and company, but he hasn’t told me). so how the hell is this going to work? right now it doesn’t even feel like i’m in a relationship.
ljp

im currently in a long distance relationship with a girl i would consider ‘the one’, but right now we have kind of hit a rough patch as she wants an open relationship, but i dont think i could do that, she says there will be no sex she just wants to be kissed when she gets the chance. we are both still young, 20, but all i want is to be with her. im scared if i say no she will leave me but im also scared that i wont be able to trust her if i say yes. does anyone have any advice that might help?
karina

uhh i really dont know how some people can do it..
its really hard work i bearly ended my LDR and i thought
wow he gave the stupidest excuse that i wasnt talktive but
i guess he just found anouther girl…
its really hard talking about something with him cuz we dnt tend
too have something to talk about.
but he would always blame me i got to see him alot at first
and then it just stop cuz he never had time…
i was actully really sad that we broke up cuz we been going out for 10 mouths really close too a year but now i just got all better
this really wasnt working out and we just decied to be really cool friends for now i guess, he said well see when we get much older what happens…but in my side of thinking it doesnt work and its not the same without your love one everyday…so i actully think that its great who can actully do a ldr.(:
Kenny

Dont apoliqize if you feel you were right if he does not understand your feelings it will not work out in the long run
Kenny

How do you know he was telling the truth about that pic? So what if he is hispanic..
regina

thanks! mr. Corbano.. i appreciate it a lot.. it makes us much stronger coz your right.. keep it up! im expecting more advices and tips bout long distance relationship!=))
Jay16

next tuesday, iwould be with my girlfriend for a year. its been a whole year since i’ve seen her. se was suppose to come see me but something bad happened. everytime she tries to come see me, something bad happens. i broke up with her and now we’re taking a break. we’re still talking and stuff. but i realy love her but im so hurt because she broke a promise she made to me.we’re only 6 hours apart. yes im 16 and shes 17 so its kinda hard. what should i do abut us?
Valentine

Everything has reason for long distance relationship. For me, My girlfriend far away to each other because I should earn money for me and my girlfriend future.. 1. Communication, 2. Trust, 3 Faithful, 4 loyal, 5 Love, 6. send a gift sometimes or romatantic love letter. 7. Dont lose hope and just believe to each other 8. Be strong… your physical is not there but your heart always with her. Be strong and love to each other..Happy Valentine day..
cookiedough

@Kelsey – Valentine… I don’t want to sound negative but being a female that served in the army, he is either special forces and can’t tell you anything or he’s MARRIED. simple as that. But note special forces/ops still can receive mail and make calls from time to time. Good luck
heartbroken

my bf just broke up with me 2 days before vday,and he lives on the other side of the coast. i love him with all my heart and i want him back really bad. what should i do?
Alexa

This is truly a great article. I’ve been in an long-distance relationship for the past 4 months and yet I knew once I started talking to him that he was special, different. After less than a week I told him I was starting to fall for him and he said “Oh thank God, I thought it was just me.” We haven’t been able to meet yet because neither of us have the money and I’m a senior in high school but my mom is flying him here over the summer and then probably later this year I’m flying there. He lives in California and I live in Ohio. He bought me a card for Valentine’s Day and I sent him one. Most of the stuff mentioned here are things we already do. Except going certain days not talking to each other As a teenage girl I go through a lot of drama and he can calm me down like no one else can lol. We talk from 6:40a.m. (my time) to about 1a.m. on school nights. Then from about 11a.m. to 4a.m. on weekends. We’re either texting or on yahoo. We talk on the phone every couple of days and leave each other voicemails every day that we don’t. We trust each other completely and we never lie. I didn’t really trust guys before him but after hearing his voice over the phone for the first time I knew he was sincere. I’m young and in love
Lette

ok me and this guy have been talking for a while and were dating I live in louisiana and hes in the navy in cali, he’s coming to see me and everything b4 deployment cuz he cant get time off now. But for some reason some days i can’t wait to talk to him and some days i dont want to, i feel like i love him and i know he loves me. But I know this sounds bad on my part but most of my friends are guys so im always listening to them saying how they think hes lucky to have me and how they wished they could be with me and its making me wonder about everything cuz i could have someone here that i could see whenever i wanted versus have someone MILES away from me. I dont want to break up with him or anything but on the other hand im more scared of getting hurt cuz im so used to it and that i dont want to do this. any advise??
Paul

I’m in a gay long distance relationship and I think your post makes lots of sense.

I can relate to many of the things you describe.

It’s helped me and I’m sure many others.

Thanks for taking the time to write the article.
the unlucky boy

My relationship has been off n on for 4 yrs now. Come to think of it, it’s doing pretty well. We’ve been apart from state to states.
But we get to meet on holidays in our hometown.

Now the problem is, she’s leaving the country soon. For 6 years.
I never want to talk abt it to her, because this is what she wants to do.
Medical , in russia. She’ll be leaving in a few months.
We just celebrated our 1st valentine’s day together this year, because all these years before we didn’t had the chance to.
My heart aches to think that she’d need someone ovr there, and it stings to think that she’l fall for a new person who take cares of her there for all those year. i can’t go ovr because i need to finish of my degree here, Aus.
And long distance communication won’t do much, because i believe every person needs comfort. And comfort comes in 2 forms. emotiontly & physcly
I can’t provide physically, and its a sure thing that’d she’l go look for it.
I need Help.
Yujin Wong

It is lucky that my parents had accepted my sexuality since I officially came out at the age of 19. I am 29 years old now.

I had ended my 10 year relationship with another man last year. It should have ended on the 5th year but we tried to fix it. It survived another 5 years but those extra 5 years are becoming more and more difficult for both of us. and so, the relationship ended.

After it ended, I had short term relationships.. This has been I guess my way to tell myself that I am “still” young and I will be just fine without him (the man I lived with for the last 10 years). But since these were all “rushed” It did not work as well. I will be honest that my sexual level was high and I had those new relationship to satisfy the need.

Until one day October 19, 2009. I was seen by a guy whom I just added in one of those Social Network sites. He was just there in my profile page but we never get a chance to communicate. The next day, I received a letter from him saying “I saw you walking in front of Gateway Mall…just want to say hello”. I replied to him “You could have greeted me then please reach me at (my mobile number)”. And that afternoon, I received a text message from him.

And so we met in my house. lets call him by the name “Merck”. Of course since this guy waited for 2 years just for me know that he exists, he was so exited about it (both emotionally and sexually). One the very first time we met, something happened. But according to him he did not do it for lust. He did it to let me know that his waiting has come to an end. He asked if I am still seeing another person and he will understand..he just wants honesty. I told him of course I am free.

I do not know if destiny is really playful because when he visited my house for the first time, he received a call from the Employment Agency that his application to The Middle East is approved and he can now start working with his requirements. He is a Registered nurse. I told myself secretly “did he come just to say goodbye?”. I pretended happy but of course I was sad..I hate all forms of goodbyes. But I cannot hinder this person of his dream.

We dated and courted each other for the next 2 weeks until we official on October 30, 2009. He revealed to me everything. From his childhood, his favorites, family. The challenge that I had with him was he gets jealous..not in an unhealthy way. Its because he does not want to lose me anymore. It was nice and I assured him that “he will be the one”. He knows that I am prone to temptation and since he is a Christian, he had asked me to throw all my porn related materials. According to him, if I believe and I truly love him, I will do it because this act is for me anyways. I did that.

We enjoyed each other. He sees to it that we meet everyday, we go to church together, spend time quietly. We made plans and schemes and we do our best to survive. We were able to enjoy our “Monthsary”, Christmas and New Year. On January 1, 2010..He bought a pair of ring. Though we know that same sex marriage is not yet recognized in the Philippines, a simple moment of vows is good enough.

I love this guy. So in love with him that I forgot that time flies. February 17, 2010, we talked and he said that he will leave for Middle East on March 1, 2010.

I know that he will have to fly one of these days. I had accepted that situation. But I cant help but to cry and be sad. I have been reading books regarding LDR but how come I feel restless and fearful?

He assured me that he will be on vacation every 6 months and he is going to do this for our dream. He even looks forward that he will find me a job there related to my work My mom is very supportive with me and him and encourages us. He even told my mom that “I am HIS forever”.

Any advise on how I can survive this sadness?

also I wanted to knopw
why i fear so much
of not seeing him for a couple of months
could it be im seeing my reflection of my bad past that is why I do not see my partner being loyal to me? 9:29
am I depressed?
Kris

well i think it depends on how you confronted him about the issue
im am in a long distance relationship myself i have been with my girlfriend for nearly three years and have been separated for the last 5 months its hard i know. i am 1 myself and i know that when my girlfriend confronts me about something like that i tend to get my back up very quickly when being accused of something even if i am in the wrong. if he is anything like me the typical guy he would not have ment any disrespect to you by watching the video and would not have been doing so ‘because your not good enough’ the fact is that every guy checks out every hot girl weather they will admit it or not.
as long as they don’t act on it it should not be a problem however i do not think that it was apropriate for him to advertise the fact on a website that he was checking out other guys if he was any kind of smart he would have kept it secret to himself so to not hurt your feeling hope i have helped you understand guys a little AND GUYS OUT THERE HERE IS A LESSON FOR YOU THIS KIND OF THING DOES UPSET THE LADIES SO DON’T DO IT OR DON’T SHOW THEM THAT YOU DO IT

REGARDS
KRIS
Kris

mate by the sounds of you saying that she would go looking for it(sex) i presume ur talking about you don’t have to much faith in her as it is all i know is that and im not trying to disapoint you but girls are all sluts man they will never wait that long i mean look how many women cheat on there husband that are say even truck drivers for example they may only be gone for a week at a time and its still not good enough for the women imagine six years apart they would forget who there hubby was

also two people change alot in six years mate your only option is to follow her or for her to sacrifice for you i guess it depends how much she means to you and vice versa if she is the one a degree doesn’t matter bro you can finish study anytime in your life its never to late but thats just what i think
Kim

I have been in a LDR with a man for going on two years. It was from the first scenario- met online and realized we were 2000 miles apart.

I agree with all of your tips, except for the “meet once a month”. Sounds wonderful, and in an ideal situation it would be, but not many people can afford a date that costs several hundred dollars every month! (Especially in this economy, and it often includes time off from work, as well.)

That was a luxury we indulged in just a few times before we decided the money was better off saved for a permanent relocation. We are in the beginning of that process now.
the unlucky boy

are you saying that it’s more realistic to break up then going through LDR?
Lemar Lee

Hello my name is Lemar. My mom has gotten another job offer in San Antonio, Texas. I don’t want to leave my girl becasue iknow deep inside she will be hurt.
tu

hi~
thanks for the tips of long distance relationship.
i think long distance relationship is work somehow!!!
my sister had been in an relationship with her boyfriend in three years since she was in high school.
then his boyfriend went to England to continue his degree. At that time period, my sister and him just keep sending e-mail to each other and not talk very often. Three years later, my sister’s boyfriend came back. They started to dating again for two years. They got married in last July 2009. They had been dating for eight years.

I am in an relationship. It is a long distance relationship too.
We had been dating for a month before we separated. As what you say, I will went down to his place for each month. It is six hours drive to him. But after summer, he is moving to Hawaii to study there and i will still in US. We will not meet each other in three years. We both from Hong Kong, so after we graduate, we will both go back to Hong Kong. It is hard for me to keep close with him, because he do not like to talk on phone. he likes to chat with me on msn. We had lots of fun while we are chatting. Sometimes it just hard for me to stop thinking about our relationship. Because I moved up to North and all my friends and him still in the same states. It is hard to stand without your friends and your boyfriends.
I hope that we can be secess on our relationship.
JOse

@Jessica – You Show Take you time and think what you say before you say it , give him all the love that you can, and make sure he’s giving the same, yall should have trust between yall and tell eachother how much yall love eachother and how’s yall future gonna be . (;
Kessy

@-XchelsX- –
Well girl i understand your plight, am in a distance relationship nd is really paying off, though not without layed down rules and future prospect and relational destination as a foundation for it to thrive. There nothing wrong in you advising your Man on morals, cos promiscuity of the mind leads to that of the body. After he must have eat the native food of fantasizing on another woman’s naked body part, a time might come when he might want to try one out. Am talking from experience and all sincerity. You need to build the right values, know the right clip to watch at a certain time and also be open to each other and able to discuss anything no matter what. With this method highly adopted in a mutual union that has a purposeful goal, misunderstanding like this is meant to strenghten the bond and not break it. At the end of such issues, what matters is what message or lesson that must have been learnt.
Mind you for a relationship to thrive, it must be geared towards a purposeful goal and you both must be ready to put all you got to make it work (That’s Sacrifice)!
Best regards!
K
Sushy

I’ve been with my boyfriend for almost 3 years now, we met the 1st time 10 months ago, i went to visit him in his country last month, and whn i am back i cant stay without him… he dosent know what or how our relation may end,,, as he has some issues, when i am with him, i feel that he adores me, when we are apart, it is a bit differnet i cant take him out of my mind, he is the only thing i am thinkinf of, i just want to be with him, thats it, i asked him many times to communicate through the net, but the problem that he is busy most of the times… he calls me almost everyday, but only for 2 or 3 mints,, i really miss him, sometmes i feel like i could never live withou him, he is my 1st relation, and i am his 3rd or 4th, and he has many many girl friends… i dont mind,,, but the problem that i dont trust him complitly…. dont know what to do…
Anass

I’m having a problem maintaining my long distance relationship but this Article has really thought me how to go about it. I appriciate it, thanks a lot.
@nonymous

@ljp -
w3ll i r3c0mend u t0 n0t f0rce her to thnk y us girls take tht alittle personnel specially since s0m3 0f us ar3 cl3an3d u kn0w s0 just tak3 tim3 and l3t it pass it will get t0 u in the right m0m3nt just d0nt ruin it… d0nt l3t th3 d3sire rush u but let the l0v3 c0m3 t0 u…….
Sof

I have been with my boyfriend for 5 years now, and sad to say we are both leaving out of the country. he’ll be going to london for work and study and im going to states to work.my boyfriend and i broke up a year ago then we got back after 4 months. now were together and we will both leave. i am really scared thinking about this LDR thing.i love him so much and i want him to be my future.I know he loves me, but its just scares me,like what if he meet other girls there… i dont know what to do. this articles is a help, but please guys do advise me. thank you
Jada Griffin

Hi, me bf and I just got back together after 10yrs. We tried the ldr back then but being young and still finding ourselves it didn’t work. Now that we’re older we’ve decided to try again. If all goes well i’ll be moving to Vegas next year to be with him. Any advice on how to keep the conversations strong? I have never been a phone person..
Sarah

I met a guy on Okcupid ( a dating website ) and I recieved a e-mail where someone rates you out of 5 based on you’re profile and photos, so I checked who it was and he came up… so I read through his profile and I thought he was cute and had a interesting profile and thought too bad he lives on the other side of the world, but I wanted to message him anyway so I wrote “Hey you sound like my kind of guy, too bad you’re all the way in Pennsylvania” and he wrote back that I was beautiful and he has always wanted to come to Australia and then I told him have you got a instant messenger talk and ever since we have been talking and each convosation gets better and better and decided to meet, he wants to come here and I said i’ll make a trip down also and already planned everything and we are both so EXCITED. We cam2cam all the time, I call him on the way to studying, speak to him on my lunch breaks and if we don’t get the chance some times we will have a nice e-mail sitting in our inbox….he recently asked for my home address so he could send me siomething and that made me excited. He has told his mum and dad about me and his nanna and said that he always talks about me. HAHA i love it….and yes it does get hard when u like someone so much and want to be with them but that is why you do need a plan and not just hope for something to magically happand. After he finishes hes second year in college and I finsih my diploma we want to move in together and plan our future.
LostinPurdue

I met my now boyfriend last semester in my chemistry class…we hit it off and after a few dates we became “official” and have now been going out for 2 months…….we’re still in honeymoon stage but school is over in a month! And even though we’ll be back next semester all ready for a second year of college life…..the BIG issue here is my last relationship was about a year and a half, the problem however was my ex-boyfriend was the once a cheater always a cheater, it was one huge painful road….anyway during the summer break we each going back home and we will live about an hour and a half away and he will have a full-time job….to be honest I’m afraid of what will happen with this relationship….he’s amazing he writes me poetry, holds me, and is an amazing guy….but how do i make it work? I mean how do I believe in him not hurting me, even if we’re only 1 and a half hours away? How can I just put my heart on the line and cross my fingers he won’t have fun while I am completely honest and true to him? Any advice or any comments please and thank you!!!
ned

if he loves you, he wont do that to you. long distance relationships are very hard but you know what?? if you two truly love each other the way you say you do, it wont be that bad. you will have to sacrifice a little bit and drive over there or have him drive over to see you and deal with the fact that he may be meeting up with his ex or whomever but do remember, he will be thinking the same thing about you. dont let your paranoi and self esteem ruin something so great. If you love him, TRUST him. for your sake i hope you try to make the best out of this.
http://longdistanceandromance.blogspot.com/ Chris

My girlfriend lives in Canada, and I live in Miami. It’s a hell of a lot more than an hour and a half away. You guys are lucky because you can arrange to meet throughout the summer. I don’t know what your vehicle situation is, but if one of you can bum a ride or take a train/bus every now and then, the summer won’t be too bad.
As for him hurting you? Well it works both ways. If he feels the same way, he might have the same concerns. I never put myself in any situation that my girl would not approve of because I am convinced she’s the one, but even though she’s never given me a reason not to trust her, I have to admit my imagination gets the best of me at times and I get worried that the distance will make her long for that physical comfort we get so little of. If you haven’t already, talk to your man to see where you stand.
Chels

I’ve gotten myself into an odd love triangle, and the two guys are both long distance. My boyfriend being about 2hrs away and my best friend is in Maryland, Im in Florida.

I started talking to my best friend about 6 months ago. Another friend of mine talked to him too and introduced us. From that point on we clicked. After a while we made it known we liked each other. Be he made it clear that he didn’t do long distance relationships, that we should just stay friends, and whatever happens, happens.

So I met my boyfriend three weeks ago online. We’ve met twice and he’s very sweet. But our cultures are different and we have a major language barrier.

I told my best friend about my boyfriend and he didn’t cope at all. He pretty much hates me now. He’s treated me differently ever since, he’s always too busy to talk, and we’ve had arguments. Now that Im losing him I may have realized that I love him?

I dont know what to do now, because I have my boyfriend telling me he loves me, but I think I love my best friend. Does anyone have advice? Any at all would be a great help.
Chels

@Kessy – Thanks for responding =] It turns out it didn’t work. He found a girl that was closer to him that, I guess, he liked more. But he also met her online, so… I doubt he was faithful from the beginning. I hated him for the longest time and we immediately erased everything that reminded us each other. But about two months ago, he added me back on a website and we reconnected again. I’ve realized that he’s much better as a friend for me and Im very happy to have him back, even as just that =]
Kimmie

Originally Posted By JanTo make a long story short I have been in a long distance relationship for about six months now and at the beginning we have been talking a lot basically sharing and learning about things from each other to the point where I basically learned everything about his life and he knows about mine.

hey I’m in a similar situaiton.

Have faith and try doing some random new things so you have more to say. I often find I have more to say when I webcam/skype for some reason!

I’ve only been able to see my guy once ever 6-12months, but when we do it’s really exciting so it helps lots!
Tesi

Hi,
I’ve known a man from Australia for about seven years now, although we never met.
we met on a animé RP site, and our characters got talking and in the end, we got talking too, we were 17 and having a great laugh together.
For years we talked and eventually i discovered i was falling for him. I said nothing about it but I wrote alot of poems and such about this time as i struggling with self-confidence issues.
When i eventually admitted how i felt i was 20, and he returned my feelings with similar feelings.
We never started a relationship online due to the fact i just take a long distance relationship.
But now im 24 and he recently came to london, we decided to meet up, i went back into my 20 year old self. We had a great time not only together but with some of our joint friends..
But now im confused, not about my feelings, no I know how i feel, but how to carry on.
He’s trapped in london and im in wales and we got no way to commutate and im killing myself with worries that i was stupid and messed everything up, im trying not to over-do the i wanna talk to you thing by sending messages to our friends to tell him, -playing it cool- but i cant help but think it’s gone completely wrong..
But can we just go back to understanding that we care for each other alot but not doing anything about it?
Mercedes

Ive been with my boyfriend for a year and he lives two states away from me and were both teenagers. Every time we make plans too possibly see each other, they fall through because one parent is always not okay with it. We havent seen each other in a year and were so in love but im afraid we wont be able to see each other for 2 years when i graduate high school. He is going through a really tough time with his family right now and he has nobody but me, but talking to him isnt enough this time…what should i do and how do we keep a good relationship through all of these issues?