Archive for January, 2009

I must have heard this often used consolation phrase a thousand times back then. In fact, I heard it so often that it made me sick every time.

Why?

Because it did not offer me any comfort. It just gave me a small peak into an uncertain future.

Which phrase am I talking about?

The advice that is given most often at the beginning of a relationship break up:

“Time will heal all wounds… eventually.”

When you suffer from a break up or divorce all you want is INSTANT release, not a remotely possible outlook. You’re not open to things that may happen in 2 years. Your pain is NOW, and it’s very real.

Unfortunately this advice does not offer any release.

The only advice that really helped me in the very beginning of my breakup, (2 days after), came from a close friend wanting to give me comfort.

He just said that all of this must be a mistake, and that she will come to her senses eventually. “After all”, he said, “you were about to getting married.”

Man, that made me feel better. I felt REALLY good… for about two hours. Then reality caught up with me.

Pain was there again in all its cruelty.

It was then that I understood that I really had to go through this, as cruel as this thought might have been. I had to endure this excruciating pain, and there was nothing that could save me from that.

We must be aware of 3 things during the FIRST days after a break up or divorce (the pre-phase of a break up): Click to continue »

There is a movie called Peggy Sue Got Married where a grown woman miraculously travels back in time to her high school years. She then tries to avoid all the mistakes she made, especially not hooking up with her eventual husband.

Guess what?  She did it all again. Exactly the same way she did before.

While of course this is just a movie, it is true that when you reach a certain age, you tend to look back on your life and think about what you could have done better.

I turned 41 last year, would you believe it? I do not.

But I am happy with it.

It wasn’t always that way. There was a time when I was afraid of getting older. I had the feeling that time was my enemy, and that every day that passes I was losing something really important – an opportunity.

I was afraid of change.

As if getting older means losing your youth and vitality. It does not. Not if you don’t want it to. You can still start a new business, snowboard, jet ski, jump out of planes, date young women, climb the K2.

You can still do everything you want to – it only depends upon your will and determination.

It is my belief that with age, you win so much more.

Among other things, you gain wisdom and experience (note: this might not be applicable to everyone).

Along with this, sooner or later one important question arises:

If you look back at your time as a young adult, (for some of my readers this is not long ago), would you have done things differently with the experience you have now?

You certainly would.

One good friend of mine once said that when he looks back on his life, he only regrets things he has not done – he never regrets the things he did.

This is so true for me.

Having that in mind, I asked myself what I would have done differently back then, (and I’m going to come completely clean here).

Here they are – the 10 things I would do different if I were 18 again: Click to continue »

For probably most of my readers (the breakup survivors) the year 2008 was definitely not their best one. For many others however, it was hopefully a start into a new and better future.

To me personally the year 2008 brought very radical but happy changes. I will never forget this year and what it meant to me.

I wanted to remind you that we alone are the masters of our own destiny. We are free to choose our own paths at any time and consciously create the future we want for ourselves. Never be afraid of changes in your life.

A new year is an excellent opportunity for a fresh new start.

I wish everybody a very happy, healthy and successful New Year.

If you need some help with New Year’s resolutions, check out the article I wrote last year about resolutions that can change your life.

All the best to everybody, your friend,

Eddie Corbano

(Photograph is a courtesy of Mohan.M.)