Archive for August, 2009

Months, or even years after a relationship break up, we will fully realize the fatal mistakes we made right after it happened. Especially the panic controlled actions that made us appear as a different person – often we don’t recognize ourselves any more.

It can bring out the worst in us.

It usually happens that we hate ourselves later for the things we’ve done. This is understandable, but the wrong thing to do. Not only does it damage our self-esteem, which is urgently needed for the recovery, (what’s left of it), but it also destroys the new concept of self-love we are trying to build up.

Avoid these feelings by telling yourself that the past is the past, and concentrate on the NOW.

There is a famous quote where it says that one should learn from the mistakes OTHERS make and thereby avoid them.

On the other hand:

“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.”
—John Powell

I believe that there are two kinds of mistakes: the kind that you can learn and evolve from, and the kind that should be avoided.

When it comes to post relationship break up mistakes, there are some which better be avoided.  The following fall into that category.

Here are the main mistakes most people make right AFTER a relationship break up: Click to continue »

This is a guest article by Michelle F. from lovingfromadistance.com.

Is checking your boyfriend or girlfriend’s email okay?

In a word, NO.

I would never give my boyfriend the password to my email address and he would never give me his. Is it because we don’t trust each other? No. We value our privacy and respect each other’s privacy. We trust each other completely.

Why is sharing your passwords with your boyfriend or girlfriend not the smartest thing to do?

A boyfriend innocently gives his girlfriend his password to his email so she can check something for him when he can’t get on a computer to get online. He doesn’t bother to change the password after, and the girlfriend remembers her boyfriend’s quirky password.

Somewhere down the road, she gets a little suspicion that he may be flirting with another girl. So what is the first thing she does? Checks his email of course. She may even try out the password on some of his other online accounts. She may find nothing, but ever since she first snooped, she begins to habitually check his email and becomes obsessive; addicted even. She knows it’s wrong but can’t help to use this to her “advantage” to keep an eye on her boyfriend. If her boyfriend found out she’d feel ashamed and embarrassed, but she can’t help but feel tempted to check her boyfriend’s email – and in a way she feels that as long as he doesn’t know she is checking his email, it’s “okay.”

Should she really be in this relationship if she can’t trust her boyfriend?

The above scenario happens all the time. Click to continue »

“There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.”
- Friedrich Nietzsche

Let me tell you a little story about my visit to the mountains of Turkey many years ago.

I met this beautiful, intelligent girl from Turkey, with crazy dark curly hair. We had this great relationship going and one day she asked me if I would like to learn her origins and travel to Turkey with her. I said “of course”, and the next thing I know I was on sitting on an airplane on my way to Anatolia, (the mountain region of Turkey).

Over the next few days she showed me her beautiful country, full of nice people and breathtaking scenery.

We were on a mountain trip looking for her hometown when she suddenly asked me:

“How do you like my village?”

“What village?” I asked. “You mean the three cabins over there?”

“Yes” she replied, “this is where my parents grew up. My origins are right over there”. Click to continue »