We have all been in this situation, you meet someone very special, you fall in love, everything is perfect, then suddenly it turns out that this very special someone had to leave far far away for college, better job, expedition, you name it. You then have two choices: breaking up or to go for a long distance relationship.

I am receiving many e-mails after my article how to make a long distance relationship work. People are asking me if they should go for a long distance relation ship or not, will it turn out well, for how long is it ok, and so on. I try to answer every e-mail detailed. But in the majority of cases my respond is usually: Yes, I would always go for it, if you feel it is special, if you have a clear time frame, if you are willing to follow my rules, and last but not least: if you believe in it.

Many of you have had a non-working long distance relationship in your past, so your hopes and self-esteem regarding long distance relationships are not high. For this reason I have decided to list some benefits of a long distance relationship to make your decision easier and to give you some hope as well. You are not alone, there are hundreds of thousands of working long distance relationships around the globe.

I said that I usually always recommend to go for the long distance relationship, however there are a few exceptions.

If the duration of the separation is unusually long and the chance for monthly meetings are extremely low, it is going to become very hard. In that case I recommend to think it over, especially you are very young. I am well aware that it is very difficult to say no to the relationship out of rational reasons, but eventually that would be a better solution. Otherwise it may lead to frustration, anger and pain.

But for now, let’s assume that you have not more than one year or so to go and you know that you can follow the 10 rules.

Here are the top 5 reasons to consider why to go for a long distance relationship:

1. Better sorry than safe

There is nothing sadder than a missed opportunity.

A very wise man once said to me: “I never regret things I’ve done, but I regret many things I have not done”.

You never know how things are before you try them. Every single experience, good or bad, enriches your life in some way. It builds the basement for decisions in the future. They make you wiser and build up your self-esteem. Let alone that in every missed opportunity you may have missed the love of your life.

All the good things in life involve a certain risk, but the biggest risk in life is missing out.

Think about that.

2. You gain time for other things

“Finally I can take the Spanish course”.

A long distance relationship isn’t as time consuming as a regular relationship. You can use the free time to reach your personal or job related goals. You have more time for your career, friends, hobbies and family.

3. It’s the ultimate test of seriousness

“I really mean it baby”. Now you can prove your commitment.

There is no point enduring a long distance relationship if you don’t mean it, if you are not fully committed. It just doesn’t work. After a few weeks/months first girl/boy that comes around you like you will break out.

So, this is a test whether you are committed and suitable for each other for a long term relationship.

Of course, this only applies to couples who were together before they were separated in a long distance relationship. If you’ve met in a chat room it’s the other way around.

4. You learn to treasure these rare moments together

Fact is, you’ll probably see each other only 1-2 times a month, if at all. These rare meetings will be an explosion of passion and love. All the longing will focus into this short meeting.

It’s a good lesson to realize what really matters in a relationship.

5. You really get to know each other

It is much easier and much more natural to get to know somebody through e-mail. All the outside-stuff is left out. It is easier to open up, you learn the inner world of you partner.

No pretending, no beautifying.

This also makes the meetings more intense.

There you have it, some thoughts why to take a chance and go for it.

Please do me two favors.

Tell me your thoughts about this. Have you survived a long distance relationship? So why would you recommend it? I’m looking forward to your comments.

The other thing is, please participate in the following survey, I’m really interested how many of you would go for it again.

(survey closed)

I hope that I gave you some insights which will help you make the decision. Don’t take it too easy, a long distance relationship is very hard, but it could give you so much in the end.

Ask me about it!

Your friend,

Eddie Corbano

(Photograph is from istockphoto / humonia)