A long distance relationship isn’t easy but it’s not impossible. I did it for 2 1/2 years and we’ve now been together for 13. You have to accept that you aren’t together and cherish the moments that you are - through email, chat, video or phone. Flat screen can lead to misunderstandings so don’t be tough on each other.

Yes, you may have more time for other things, but don’t get it twisted- it still takes time. You have to spend time on the phone, writing letters, sending emails, thinking of other things to do to keep the relationship alive, working more (maybe) so you can afford a plane ticket, etc. etc.

I wouldn’t recommend LDR’s as the best thing since sliced bread, I’d just say don’t avoid them simply because of the distance factor.

Hey Eddie,

My LDR is going great, although it has been a very short time so far, we have both made extreme efforts to make it work. However we live in different countries (but only a 5 hour flight) I was wondering if you had some sort of comment on when to bring up the “light at the end of the tunnel.” The relationship has been about three months so far, which makes me feel like it may be too short of a time period to talk about eventually one of us moving to a different country! But as time goes on..I am beginning to feel the need to ask…or why bother spending so much on visiting each other? We talk everyday and a very open with each other, yet this issue is something I would like a second opinion on
Thanks!

I have been in a 2 year long distance relationship (we live in different continents) with a wonderful man. We only get to see each other every few months, if that, sometimes. I also am a strong believer of never missing a chance and taking risks. My risk has so far proven worth it. I won’t deny that it can be nerve-wrecking at times, especially with the time difference (7 hours) and his busy schedule. But if you feel it’s really worth it then you should always go for it. And it is true, when you see each after a long time, sparks will fly and it’s just amazing. In a way if this relationship works out and survives the long distance and at some point you find yourselves living together, you will have bought this relationship a lot of time and everything will still be kind of new for a while. Although every situation is different, if it’s worth it, you’ll know. But if there is no trust, then get the hell out of it, or you’ll just end up hating each other.

Long distance relationships scare the bejesus out of me. I know that this time next year, I’ll be in one, as my boyfriend is going to university.

For 8 years, no less.

Neither of us will have the free time or money to visit the other, so I’m terrified that it’ll break us up despite us being amazing for each other.

Your long distance articles have given me food for thought, though.

I plan to start one with a girl I really like that I met on eSpinthebottle, She’s the sweetest girl I’ve ever talked to, I live Close to Tyler, TX in Gladewater and She lives in New Castle which is close to Pittsburg, PA

I hope it works out

I was looking for articles about long distance relationship,especially the fact that I am in one, right now. I have stumbled upon articles and I feel, the article above, poses a deeper insight. It makes one reflect upon his/her current situation, good or bad.

I’ll be honest here. I am 19 (last year in polytechnic education) and met a really good men who is 3 years older than I am, when he came to do his internship in my country. I reside in Singapore and He lives in The Netherlands. He was in Singapore for 4months for his internship with a local company here. He is doing his degree and its his last year.

We met thru mutual colleague, who happen to be a good friend of mine, over dinner. I never thought that I will find myself to be attracted to this person, but I did. We did. It was a very good 3month, and we believe we have found the person we want to be with forever.

Now, to some, they might make a mockery about age and distance of residence, but we persevered. And we still are.

He made me felt like the luckiest and happiest girl in the world and I,he. After he was done with his 3month internship, he made the decision to stay another month, just so that he could be with me. We even went overseas over the weekend for a short holiday, just so that he can get social visit pass at least for the month. He even rented an apartment for a month just to be with Us.

We had tons of fun everyday, there was not a moment to cry,fight or anything. In fact, there was never a moment we fought. It was all good.

The time to say goodbye came and I was a reservoir. Its hard letting someone you’ve fallen in love go, especially one that’s dearest and have known the family also.

We are together and we know, deep down, we are meant to be together. With technology, we contact via msn,skype,email,sms letters, cards and send gifts to each other. Sometimes, the calls and smses can be expensive but we do it cause we care.

We also save up to meet up for Euro trip etc etc. There is not a day that we dont talk. Once we are done with school, we are practically excited like a puppy to talk to each other. Weekends are spend hours infront of the laptop and webcam. Photo’s are taken when I go shopping to ask him for opinions.

In short, we are two person, very much in love, and being with each other, for each other and supporting one another emotionally.

There are times, when it gets hard, and ugly thoughts may crop up, but we will always console and assure each other that this is another test from god and if we persevere, we will make it work.

We are very much in love, and we know this is real. There must be reasons why HE made us meet each other, and only HE knows why.

My boyfriend is doing his Masters now for about 2.5years and I’m about to graduate with a diploma. We are really excited to see each other soon. He might or might not continue his MASTERS, but the point is, we are going to be reunited again and when the time comes, It going to be electrifying. Its going to be fantastic and we are going to carve a successful life together.

Our parents know of both of us and they support us. Its really lovely to know that.

I am glad that I am in a relationship with him. I am even glad that long distance relationship taught me a lot of life values. To all out there, no matter your distance, give it all of you into the relationship, it is a sure-fire that it will work out.

Gotta stay tough and strong. Perseverance.

I was in an LDR with a wonderful man for 16 months. We talked every night - sometimes for over 2 hours. We saw each other about twice a month. He was the best friend and lover I’ve ever known. I believe he may be my soulmate too. I don’t regret a single moment we spent together. Unfortunately, there was no end in sight to the LD part of the relationship and the separation was becoming unbearably painful. We decided to end it even though we love each other more than ever. Needless to say, we are both in a lot of pain, but I think it was the right decision. At least I’m hoping it was the right decision. As for recommending an LDR - I can say without reservation that this relationship was the most gratifying I’ve ever had. I highly recommend not letting an opportunity go by just because of the distance issue.

I have been in a long distant relationship for 9 months. He lives in Atlanta and I live in Memphis. Before meeting him, I had never been in a long distant relationship or even considered it. In the beginning, I just knew it wouldn’t last but the more we talked the more we realized the many things we had in common and we just began to grow closer everyday. I feel like I have never had a relationship this strong before. I trust him and I never listen to any negativity that people may say. When you listen to people who try to discourage you and your relationship it will only harm you and you may end up losing a good thing. I keep faith and I pray everyday for our relationship to continue to grow stronger and to keep us focused on what we want and that is to be together forever. We plan on living together and one day get married. I love him more than anyone I have ever loved. I feel like he is my soul mate and I am very happy that we have been blessed with each other. Therefore, I recommend long distant relationships but remember to be trusting, keep faith, try to be spontaneous and romantic and although you may not be able to see them everyday try to be there for them by listening to their problems and encouraging them!

I met my husband over the internet 3 years ago. Unfortunately, we are divorcing. I moved to his state after a year of LDR. It was not an easy transition, but I had enough faith to believe it would be worth it. I was wrong. He turned out to be nothing like the man I fell in love with while we had our LDR. The fun, caring, loving man, turned out to be boring, angry and cold. I am deeply hurt and am trying to keep positive since I know, not all men are like this. I intend on dating again in the future and I look forward to starting over again. Any suggestions on how to avoid another Dr. Jeckyl/Mr. Hyde?

My boyfriend lives in Italy, I’m in the U.S. Met him while on a vacation there in Sept 07. It’s hard. I’ve been back to see him a couple months ago for a couple weeks. We chat on the phone a few times a week, but it’s difficult because he is not fluent in English and I am a beginner in the Italian language. He wants me to move there and live with him. I am so torn on what to do.

I’m currently in a long distance relationship its been about 7 months almost 8. Everything has been going perfect. We are very focus and dertermined on this. He is 100% sure that i’m the one for him. Im canadian and he lives in NY which is like 8 hours from me…but umm yea we constantly have webcam during the week…and on the weekends we usualy dont have webcam because we are both busy being with our friends. BUT we never go a day without talking on the phone or txt each other back and forth. And we see each other every 3-4 weeks. He is planning on moving here in Janurary…its just so hard with getting a visa and everything..and we dont want to get married now because we want to take our time. But, I could say that this month has been the hardest…I miss him sooo much that i think im actually going crazy lol… He is just right for me…we have trust …and we never actually fought with eachother. It happened that we had arguments …but its because sometimes we get frustrated that we miss eachother so much…
When we plan on seeing eachother…we do it big. Last time i was there for the whole week and a half… we had something to do EVERYDAY.. dinning out…family events… beach…shopping…activities.. But like you said Faith and being positive are really keys to success of a long distance relationship. Sometimes its hard to stay positive… when you miss that person so much… even tho you trust that person..sometimes you always think…What if he finds someone else over there?…but then those thoughts goes away…
All i need now is info on getting him a VISA to work in canada….

I was dating a guy in LA. I live in San Francisco. We are both young professionals who found each other via online dating. We dated for 2.5 months before he called an end to things. The chemistry between us was great and we always had so much fun whenever we hung out. We called, emailed, and text messaged everyday. Because the SF/LA plane trip was only 1.5 hours, we saw each other 2-3 weeks. He actually came up to see me 4 times, and I went down to LA to see him once. He was even open to moving up to SF if things got more serious. Unfortunately, he broke up with me last Tuesday. He said that he’s the type who needs to see someone 4-5 times a week when in a relationship. Unfortunately, given the long distance, that was impossible. I asked him if he could possible move up for a few months and try things out and transfer his job to the Northern California office. He said he won’t be able to move unless things got more serious. Basically, it was a catch-22 situation. I asked if there was anything we could do to help him change his mind like taking a weekend getaway trip, but sadly his mind was made up. I miss him like crazy, and I know he misses me too. After we had the breakup talk, we still ended up talking for 2 more hours, telling each other what we’ll miss about the other and talking about all the great times we’ve had. It totally sounded like he didn’t want to hang up and let me go. We decided to keep in touch and remain friends. Everything was going so well, but unfortunately his needs weren’t met. I’m willing to go the extra mile to make this work. Eddie, is there anything I could do to make him change his mind? Looking forward to your response.

Dear Eddie:

Im really at a loss as to what to do. I love my boyfriend very much, like I haven’t loved in a very long time, and he’s told me he loves me too. We have been together for 6 months now, but from the beggining we both felt it was an amazing match and unusually special. But next year, he will be moving away because he is finishing his degree, and he wants to continue his studies, but we don’t know where that will be just yet, could be out of the country even. I have never been in a LDR, but he has: he was in a 5 yr LDR before he met me, and that has left him definately jaded towards the concept. He says its not that he doenst want to be with me, he just doesn’t think he can go through it again. Also, the period between the end of that relationship and the start of ours was kind of short, perhaps half a year or a little more, so I think ( and I think he does too) that he didn’t have enough grieving time. But we have a great thing going, and neither of us wants to spoil it. So it’s a difficult decision. What do you think? Thanks.

Thought I’d check back to the site since I got an email saying there was another post.

I just wanted to say that my LDR ended in December, it’s now August and we’ve both moved on to other relationships. As much pain as I went through getting over the fact that we could never really be together, I have nothing but fond memories of the time we had. My relationship with him allowed me to learn things about myself I doubt I would have learned any other way. I know it was the right thing to do (break up), and it know that the experience we had with our relationship allowed us to be open to being with someone else in a much healthier way.

Enjoy the ride - don’t get too caught up in the “what ifs” - let things happen as they are meant to. Time spent with someone with whom you can truly be yourself - even if it’s for a short time in the overall scheme of your life - is worth every minute.

I’m on to the next phase - take care everyone!

@Elana -
I understand you so much, Elana. I’m in a similar situation. We’ve been in LDR for 4.5 years, and this was the most wonderful and intense experience in my life. You really learn to understand each other, and trust. Our short meetings (we met every 2 months) were really an explosion of love, I think that at these moments we lived our lives to 500%. But we broke up 5 months ago, he did. He said he couldn’t bear it anymore, that the distance was so crippling, sometimes we started to hate each other… It hurts so much, and I know he still loves me, and I still love him. I don’t know if it’s been wise, or it’s been a huge mistake. I’m trying to get over it, but it’s so hard, even now.
Good luck to you, Elana.

Dear Eddie

My girlfriend moved across the world for study, she’ll be there for 5 years! We’ve been together for 4 and we’re really in love. I want to study again too but unfortunately money reasons will make it difficult for me to study where she is. I want to be with her but I don’t know if I can move to a different country yet. We can see each other every six months for maybe a month at a time, but at this stage there is no end in sight, only a vague possibility that once I have finished my course (prob 1.5 years) I could move over there.

I don’t know if we will get married, but we’re both definitely in love.

Am I crazy for letting my heart rule my head on this one?

I met the girl of my dreams in April and we have been dating since…I live on the east coast and she moved to the west coast to live her dream in August. I told her I loved her on our last night together before she left, she makes me feel like no other girl could ever and I told myself that I would stay devoted to her after she left. She recently came home for a wedding in October in which we saw each other and had a great weekend and I told her I planned on visiting in a couple months. I support her completely in everything she does including her move, her career, etc…..

However we have never had an actual talk on what we “are”. I think she might avoid it or she might think I am avoiding it I dont know, somehow I feel that in the end this will blow up in my face. I love her and care for her very much and would do anything to make it work. Any advice?

I have been in a LDR (and my first proper relationship) now for nearly five months, and it started when I was only 16. It isn’t an exteremly long distance - only about 150 miles, but when you’re 17 and 20…you just want to spend all the time you can together! Trust is vital - it may be hard at first, but if you have no hard evidence, don’t think they’re keeping secrets! The benefit of the doubt is highly needed.

A few nights ago, me and boyfriend hit a dilemma. We really wondered if the relationship was worth keeping or not. After tears from both parties and lots of hugs, we realised how lucky we are. We love each other - and that alone can make a LDR work. We don’t get to see each other much. It’s sad, but you’re right - you learn to make the most out of the times you do get together.

Eddie, all your advice has really helped me, and helped me make the relationship even stronger than what it was before. You’re a genius!!

Everyone, LDR’s can work. All you need is love, trust and MSN

I was very sceptic about LDR’s until I was playing on a dating site and I met my now boyfriend. We hit it off immediately. He lives in London and I live in the US. We have been together for almost a year and half and we are still in love with eachother. We actually have not physically met yet but we talk on the phone everyday and always find ways to communicate with one another. We even made our relationship last when when he was drafted to iraq for 8 months. we barely got to talk and after he came back it sparked all over again. He is coming to see me next month and I am very excited. A lot of my family and friends told me that it would never work because of how far apart we are. We have already began to prove them wrong. A few weeks ago he proposed to me over the phone. It was very romantic. I accepted of course. I have never been this happy in my life. He is working on moving down here with me and my kids. We are always talking about what we want to do with our lives and have similar interests. Now dont get me wrong it has been very difficult not being physically together but we have faith in eachother that we can conquer anything obsticales in our path.

@Melissa Roberts -
hye melissa…i’m so encouraged after reading ur comment..i’ve been inti LDR for almost a year now..i’m in Malaysia and my bf in US,,we never physically meet but we really love and trust eachother..we get along very well as we complements each other..but u feel bit doubt bc we dont know how to plan for the future..i mean we hasnt plan when are we going to meet ..i really afraid it would never happened..i wish u could giv me some advise..

hmmm I had doubts with mine… … that’s why I started looking up “long distance relationship” on google … Its good to see that doubts are normal but on an average day, I talk to her for couple of hours over phone and sms. Giving a day off to each other never really works … but yes sometimes you miss proximity … a lot of spontaneity is taken away, but its replaced with other bits. Go for this if you really think you can marry her or him. For anything less its too painful and won’t help

Hi all,
I’m only 19 and i met my girlfriend 4 months before i moved 8 hours away from where she lives. ( i live in north east england she lives in north wales)
we have been together 9 nearly 10 months!
So we have been together for almost 6 months long distance, thats 2 months longer than we were together before, this gives me all the hope I need, its lasted up until this point and I will be reunited in roughly 4-5 months.

We get to see each other every 6 weeks for anywhere from 3 days to 10, depending on if I have a weeks holiday or if its just a long weekend.

This time we spend together only makes me fall in love with her more eveytime, yeh things can get tough usually when we havn’t seen each other for a month but then we know it’s not long until we see each other.
The one thing I will say is that you have to be absolutely crazy about each other before u move away… you both need to really want it to work, if you do i believe there is every chance for it to work out.
We talk on the phone about our future, living together, even marriage haha i know we’re young but you need to plan the future it gives you a lot to look forward to and yeh I realise at the end of it all, we might get home then things could go sour, you never know! its a risk you take in all relationships not only long distance.

The main thing I’d say is you have to trust each other, iv had a few trust issues in the past, but iv got over them and apologised if ever iv been a bit suspicious. You will get doubts, everyone does, its how u deal with them.

I hope in 4 months I can come back up here and post that it has all worked out, i will be a very happy man!

I met a very special man on line whom lives in another state. We both put faith first in our lives and stayed emailing for a long tme and few a few directions our life took us. We are now going the next step ready to commit and ready to settle down again. Open communication on all levels is important to both of us - they key.To me life is too short and you never know who is out there that god brings in your path. We both share a passion for life just waiting for that special person. Let our journey begin.

Hi Eddie I have a ? I am 17 years old n I been on a LDR 4 1 year n 6 months I see my boyfriend once every 2 or 3 months everything is gud except dat i can get extremely jealous n i can be a huge flirt am worried cuz wat if wat I feel isnt love n wat i push my bf away cuz of my jealousy can u please tell me u think i should 2 do 2 keep dis from breakin. Thanks 4 takin ur time 2 read dis.

Hi to all…I like the quote” I never regret things I’ve done, but I regret many things I have not done”…

I am new to this relationship, just away for a couple of weeks with my bf. We started out as friends and exchange emals before and when we met, we decided that we liked each other.

Life has been easy when I was with him, I was just speechless when we were together because I was happy…I thought I can handle it…LDR, oh yeah we are going to send email when he has to go and sail in a ship….

But now I am having this deep anxiety…I realized that we really did not talk too much about ourselves, I realized that the meeting was not enough…and I have put my mind forward to writing emails than talking to him….

Its hard…its not about I don’t trust him…its about the anxiety that I did not do enough to solidify it ( regret the things I did not do)….so I learned my mistake and I hope things will work out well the next time around.

Surely, I would like this to work out…i just hope I am not over reacting and that my anxieties would not ruin our relationship.

Hi Eddie - your blog has helped me go through a painful breakup around the same time last year. In fact, my ex and I are back together again; however, he is moving to L.A. in May for work and it’s a two-year assignment. I’m still waiting to see whether or not I should go forward with a LDR. He believes that our relationship can work if we BOTH believe in it. I suppose I’m looking for a different answer. Before we decided to be in a relationship again, we dated for about six months to get to know each other again. (A lot of personal growth happened before that!)

We both expressed that we can’t see our lives without each other in it. Why is it that I feel like he is not completely ready for a committed relationship? Could it be that I’m looking for something more absolute, like marriage? And he is not? That’s exactly how I feel - as if it is convenient for him to finally meet new friends (he didn’t have a lot here so he hung out with me a lot) in CA. New home, new life, new friends. I feel insecure about it, to be honest.

Now I’m just in the process of waiting. Waiting to see what I want out of this relationship with him. I don’t know if it is a good idea to even try a LDR with him. And if I do, how long am I willing to wait, but if I don’t I’ll never know what could’ve been.

This website is interesting…the thoughts , views and personal experiences are encouraging to read. I have been in LDR for about 4 months now but I’ve known my boyfriend for 3 years. I’m living in Singapore and he’s from Perth. We got acquainted through a mutual friend and kept in touch ever since then.

I’ve met his family and friends on my recent trip to Perth however, I’ve yet to break the news to my family as we are of different religions. And also, I still feel we need more time to get to know each other well.

There are times where we don’t get to speak with each other everyday, we talk and see each other via Skype. On occassions where I don’t talk with him, I get frustrated and lonely. And we have never really discussed about the frequency of contact. We only meet every 3 or 4 months.

People have told me the same thing too that LDR will not work so don’t waste your time on it. But I feel its we who decide what will or will not work, and its not for others to decide.

We both know we want this to work out as we are no longer young, and we want to settle down soon. So I’m praying and hoping that things will work and one day we will be together.

Hi Eddie,
I have also problem with LDR´s.I am in the Erasmus programme.I met my boyfriend here..we were together one months and everything was so perfect-we were all the time together(it was a little bit like we “lived” together..he was at work..I was at his appartment waiting to he come back and all the evenings and weekends we passed together.I know personally already his all familly and many friends.He said me that if my parents will come to here,they can stay a few days with his parents.He knew that I will have to come back to my country for study(to finish my university is 1 year) and that for summer I have to go to Ibiza(Spain)for 2 months because of work.He said me that he will call me and write emails,but he cannot go to visit me to Ibiza because he is first year in great job and he doesnt have so much holidays now.But it wasnt problem for him before..But now..after one months of happying “life” together he was first weekend without me(because of his work travel) and after he called me that he was thinking again and serious about us to the future..that I dont stay in Erasmus-I go back to my country and very early-for 3 weeks) and for summer that I am on Ibiza so this time we couldnt see each other 3-4 months and after I have 8 months of school to finish my master and it means about 1 year to be in LDR´s-to see..1 times/month..maybe less..and he is afraid about saddness,that he believes me but he cannot be with me often..this he cannot imagine..It was for me really quick..from so happy couple..he made me so sad and upset that from NOW he cannot continuer.We both know that are feeling to each other are really faster and faster growing so its better to finish now then after because it wil be more difficult to separate.He said that if I come back to this country again we can Stay or Live together..but know..I have commitment to my school..its all only a bad situation Now..this time.
About this and us we talked 3 evenings by phone and really long time.I wanted to see him and speak “face to face” but he is really bussy with work so in this time it wasnt possible.Maybe for one week.

It so hurts me..he is the BEST man who I have ever met,I think..its possible..he is the Right..its for me so special..I dont want to lose him.He is for me really important,..I know that if we try the LDR´s it will be really hard,especially in our case..but I red so many articles here
about LRD´s.

I want to say him face to face everything what I wrote here..how is for me important how much I like him so much.How you wrote::”There is nothing sadder than a missed opportunity.In every missed opportunity you may have missed the love of your life.”..Maybe he is love of my life..I know that he is with me also really happy and his feelings to me are bigger and bigger…

What I have to do..or try to do?Its better to write him letter with all my feelings or say him “face to face”..?He doesnt know it..but for me isnt problem after my last year at school I can stay in France..but if we wont be together..I wont have reason to go here again and stay here,..that its possibility never beeing together…And this I cannot imagine..I cannot imagine that he can have another girl..he is so perfcet for me..I know I say it after „only“one month with him..but I feel it..I never never never met better man than him…

Pleas,if you can-reply me as soon as possible

Btw. Thank you for writing your articles, many people helped it..

hello eddie!. i am very happy while reading your articles, i learned a lot about dealing this long distance relationship…im just starting this kind of relationship, i know this is not easy, or shall i say it will be very difficult, knowing the fact that it will took us years to see each other again and be together again…but i think im that very inlove that i have a strong faith that we will be able to make this…thanks for the advice and please dont stop giving it…a lot a girl like me needs it!hehehe…thanks again! and more p[ower…

thanks a million for sharing this with us. After I finished through this, I kind of getting a refreshing start on dealing with long distance relationship. I still believe that LOVE can survive the distance. In my country, there is a saying like distance defeats True love. However, to me..everything can defeat playing around relationship no matter how far they are. Now, I’m in this LD relationship..he has his life there and I have my own life here..we are now happy with this. We are now trying to learn from each other day by day and one day when we are ready to be together and share those and surely more happiness, we will. I’m looking forward for the day that we will be cloest for good.

All the best to you all

Hi everybody,

I have been dating a man for 13 months now, the love of my life, who happens to lives 2000 miles away from me. We are very much in love and have talked about marriage, and moving…one of us anyways. Let me explain my dilema. I am a single mother of 3 teenagers - one, the oldest, my daughter, lives with me, and my 2 boys decided to move back with their dad within the last year. I am barely making it and had to move in with my sister, her husband, and my niece and nephew. I am looking for work and going to school. My daughter will graduate high school in a couple weeks and both my sons will graduate in the next 2 years. My boyfriend has 4 kids and the last 2 just graduated high school and are off to college. He, my boyfriend, has a great job, amazing house and very settled where he lives. He is financially secure, but now, in the fall, faces an somewhat empty house. He is a very honest and sincere person, and truely lives a principled and moral life. He loves me with all his heart, and I have never felt more right about anyone in my life. I live in a very high cost of living state, and he lives in a very affordable state. He believes I should move out to where he is so that he can take care of me and help me financially, so that also I will be able to help my kids out financially. But that would mean leaving my kids. Even though my boys live with their dad, and my daughter will be able to live with my sister as long as she needs to, I dont think that I can leave them just yet. I love my kids more than I can say in words. I would be able to fly out once a month to see them, but I dont feel that would be enough. He feels that if I move to where he is, my kids will eventually follow. Is there a right or wrong answer in this situation as to who should move? I am desperate for advice.

It take 2 people to make things work and it does not sound like he is even willing to comprimise. I am in a long distant relationship too. I am in the US and he is in Jamaica. I met while on vacation through mutual friends. It is still fresh brand new so we will see what happens. I do plan to eventually move there, not because of him but that was one of my future goals. I have to be able to find a job down there so I can maintain myself. The good thing about is, just like any other move if you do not like it. You just move back that’s all. Really that simple! Try moving where he is and see what happens.

I just got dumped because my boyfriend - well, my ex.. - didn’t believe a LDR could work out. I’m only 18 and we were dating for 9 months and a half, so maybe you don’t consider that to be that serious. But I’m really crushed. Because he basically said I’m not worth the trouble of traveling 3,5 hours by train every two weeks. He said he wants to be able to go out in weekends and see his friends. And when he broke up with me he was crying, he didn’t want to break up. But there’s this feeling inside him that is telling him it would never work out.
He doesn’t know that, why am I being punished for his feeling, his *I think, I suppose*?

T. I would say as he was cryin when he said it he may regret it and apologise and phone you back, thats if its really worth having him back when he clearly isnt as comitted as you.
That feeling inside of him well every1 gets that, there will always be doubt i think for the other person whereas he might think he is more than capable of doing it maybe he has a few trust issues i cant reli say.
if he doesnt want to even try then hes not worth ur time and effort, id say you’d be better off finding someone else!
me and my girlfriend were together 4 months ( so no it shudnt of been serious ) but it really was! Then we moved 8/9 hours away from each other so I used to come home every 6 weeks and get either a long weekend or on holidays a week or two.
there has been some really hard times and ill admit at first I didnt think it would work but I hoped for the best! now 10 months on we’ve been together for 14 months nearly and I’m home for good in 4/5 weeks.!
I would maybe point him in the direction of this page or some other ones, because people said to me beforehand long distance CANNOT work they NEVER do, and it gave me a negative view on it until I came on the internet and pages like this which really do help.
If you both really want it, and think that urselves are capable theres every reason to go for it, try and explain this to him! he may come round.
good luck.