Comments on: About The Necessity Of No-Contact

By: lonely

lonely — Tue, 17 Apr 2012 00:28:00 +0000

Thanx for replying back Eddie, i guess i shud move on coz he doesnot want to work out thing. its very hard but i have to

By: Eddie Corbano

Eddie Corbano — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 15:29:00 +0000

Yes, I think that it can be very beneficial for a relationship if the partners have different values. But they should head for the same direction though.

If a relationship that is over is worth fighting for depends on why it has come to an end. Two things must at least be there: 1. a strong emotional bond and 2. the willingness to work it out.

Eddie

By: lonely

lonely — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 12:09:00 +0000

Eddie,

Do u think 2 people with different values can be together and have a fulfilling relationship. one is very career oriented and practical while z other one is happy with a normal job n emotional. does this difference eventually backfires on z relationship. n if the relationship is over is it worth chasing it ?

By: Eddie Corbano

Eddie Corbano — Mon, 16 Apr 2012 06:39:00 +0000

Well, it seem that something has gone wrong in his new life and he uses you for backup…

By: Eddie Corbano

Eddie Corbano — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 09:26:00 +0000

Yes, you CAN walk away, you CAN take control and you CAN take your life into your won hands.

What I can guarantee you is that you will see much clearer after 60 days strict No-Contact. You will know what you really want.

Hang in there,
Eddie

By: Golfgal360

Golfgal360 — Sat, 18 Feb 2012 08:37:00 +0000

I just found this site.. Been in an on again off again relationship for 5 years.. I have caught him texting/emailing other women.. Caught him in so many lies… He always turns things on me… I’m the problem.. I’m not myself around him, I’m not honest, I’m not a good person, who wouldn’t want to be with him, I’m pathetic, I’m pyscho, I’m crazy… Yes when I call him out on things I’m the crazy one… He always ends it… When I beg that I don’t want it over and lets get thru this.. We have so much to give up… We both have great jobs.. Friends… Our kids get along.. We have similar interests.. Great sex… Etc…. When he’s in control he pushes me away… If I don’t reach out to him it doesn’t take long for him to reach out to me… And then he is kissing my ass… As soon as I take him back and see if we can do this again it’s only a matter of time when his true colors show and we are back to the same crap again… Hes such a con man… People around us see a totally different person than who he really is…I hate how fake he is… But I can’t seem to just walk away although I know it’s for the best… nc in 8 hours… HELP!!! Lol

By: Julie

Julie — Thu, 16 Feb 2012 17:58:00 +0000

When I read all these stories, it really makes me wonder what the hell am I doing to myself. I’ve been with a guy 8yrs, he sees me twice a week at my house, never asks me out, never gets me a card muchless a gift. I gotta say we have great sex. We spend time just finding out what each other is doing, over the phone. I never lime with his friends. I feel that he is ashamed to be seen with me in public. His parents doesnt approve of me cuz I got a son. Now tell me, why do I love this guy so much… when clearly he’s just not that into me..
I questioned him many times. Asked him to fix it. He hears, never listens. I couldnt take it anymore and i blew a fuse. He thinks I nag him. Funny how he limes till 4am every weekend and Im ok with it. After all what can I do..force him to be with me…
I truly dont know how stupid I can get…
Nice to know though that Im not alone. After reading all these comments, I believe I have the strength to not contact him. I know my actions were really poor when I blew the fuse..(I curse him alot).. But I had had enough. Yeah, I know its not just cause for poor behavior. I cant blame him.. I blame myself for expecting too much…
Thanks all for reading. Be strong…

By: Penney777

Penney777 — Sun, 06 Nov 2011 04:29:00 +0000

My long-time partner and I broke up at the end of September — I moved out on him from frustration with everything … I was going to initiate the breakup but I offered staying together if he wanted to. He said yes …. then a few weeks later he went on a trip with a friend of ours and dumped me for her.
I was not aware of the “no-contact” rule until I started surfing sites like this one a couple of weeks ago. Before then, right after he dumped me, it was pure hell for the first 3 weeks because he did not contact me at all. I was used to him calling/texting me every day, lol. I began to get used to not communicating wth him … then one day he texted me out of the blue. I started texting him back. It was just small talk, but the communication was still dangerous because it gave me false hopes. He has texted me twice since. I decided to follow the no-contact rule once and for all. I emailed him tonight, asking that he text me no more, for my healing. It is just impossible to be friends with him right now … perhaps in a few years or so. Now I need my no-contact coccoon … lol

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Mon, 20 Jun 2011 17:06:00 +0000

Hey!

My ex and I broke up 3 weeks ago. I am feeling pretty crappy because he wasn’t
clear with me when he broke up with me, and then we went out for drinks and he
treated me like I was his “buddy”. It felt terrible, and the next day
I texted him “please do not contact me”.

I texted him the next day after he was like “please talk to me”. I
wrote a text I did not mean to send but unfortunatly I sat on my phone (hours
after writing, it should have been keypad locked!) and it sent. I re-iterated
the next day to please not contact me.

I called him a week later to ask for “clarity”. He said he was
“confused”. I was feeling really bad about that but did not contact
him.

Last Thursday he sends me this text: “please be patient with me. i am
sorry”

That text angered me so much. He stringing me along and also gets to apologize,
seriously?!Broken I called him on Friday and he did not
answer. I sent him a text saying “Got your text, we need to talk. Please
call me tomorrow”

He did not respond until Tuesday late night saying “Maybe we can meet
Thursday to talk. I am sorry for delaying.” I texted him telling him I was
busy Thursday, but free Friday early evening. He texted me at 5pm Friday saying
when was good for me, I told him I was busy. (I made other plans when I didn’t
hear from him!).

And here is where I get really mad at myself:

I texted him saying “how about tomorrow?” I was really upset and
wanted clarity from him but knew better than to engage with him at all, just
making this easier for him and harder for me. He was like sure we can meet
tomorrow.

I was really upset and went for a walk and decided I did not want to meet with
him. I texted him: “I thought about it and I do not want to meet”

He texted me: “Okay well that probably signifies the end then. I am sorry
we could not talk”

That made me feel so angry and sad. It gets worse: I texted him back “I do
want to talk”

We then had the Worst text conversation for my self-respect. He was like
“I love you but this aint working. we will figure this out but it needs
time when tensions have eased”

I texted him “I don’t feel tension.” “I think we do need to
talk”

He repeated “please leave me be for awhile”

I repeated: “We need to meet and talk”

He responded with flippant remarks like “do your thing” and then
“the ball is in your court” So I said “Lets meet tomorrow as
planned”

He said “No promises. Please stop texting me”

Why I’m angry about this is because I knew better than to be in touch with him
at all from day one, and I feel I have made it easier for him and also made him
respect me less, and me respecting myself less after this. Yet I know it makes
sense because he was being so unclear (His breakup talk really wasn’t clear
that we were even breaking up).

Writing here to get support. I am not going to contact him ever again and will
not respond if he contacts me, but we have several mutual friends and what I
wanted was:

For him to feel bad for hurting me
To be in NC
Then for him to eventually see that I have moved on and am happier without him

But now I feel like he doesn’t even respect me and feel less respect for myself
so harder to move on. Any advice on how to regain any power and respect back in
this situation? How to still get my three goals above?

Love to all and good luck with NC.

By: Allenerin1985

Allenerin1985 — Fri, 08 Apr 2011 09:05:00 +0000

My situation is a typical one. My ex boyfriend dumped me out of the blue after two years of being together. He never really said why all the way. All he said was that he doesn’t want to play daddy to my kids anymore eventhough HE is the one who asked my kids to call him daddy. Very cruel if you ask me. I stuck to the no contact rule for a few months, then ultimately ended up texting him some mean and nasty stuff just to make him mad. I wanted him to hurt just like he hurt me. I am very good at insulting people if I feel provoked in any way. Especially with my ex, I know how to push his buttons, eventhough I am still in love with him. He will somtimes reply to my texts if they’re mean enough. I end up feeling bad for the things I say, but at the time I really don’t give a rats ass. We talk so much shit to each other it’s ridiculous. I currently still live in the house that he owns because I don’t feel like I should have to move out just because he can’t stand to be around me. Here’s the funny part: After he ended things between us, he moved out claiming that I forced him out of his own house. That’s utterly preposterous!! How can I force him out if he is the one who owns the house?? He moved out of his own free will. I told him I wasn’t going to move out of his house unless he evicts me. It’s been four months since he moved out and he still has not tried to evict me. If he hates me so badly then why hasn’t he tried to evict me? It doesn’t make sense. Does he still love me deep down or did he move out because it’s just easier than having to go through an eviction process. I really want him back, but maybe he really is through with me for good. It’s driving me crazy. Point being: If he wants me out of his house and out of his life forever, why won’t he just evict me. It’s a weird situation. Is there anything I can do to make him realize dumping me was a mistake? I’m so drained by all of this. Any advice?????