Comments on: About The Necessity Of No-Contact http://lovesagame.com/about-the-necessity-of-no-contact/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=about-the-necessity-of-no-contact Learn how to survive a break up, rediscover your true self and find Mr/s Right Tue, 07 Feb 2012 06:20:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Penney777 http://lovesagame.com/about-the-necessity-of-no-contact/comment-page-5/#comment-18517 Penney777 Sun, 06 Nov 2011 04:29:00 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=606#comment-18517 My long-time partner and I broke up at the end of September -- I moved out on him from frustration with everything ... I was going to initiate the breakup but I offered staying together if he wanted to. He said yes .... then a few weeks later he went on a trip with a friend of ours and dumped me for her. I was not aware of the "no-contact" rule until I started surfing sites like this one a couple of weeks ago. Before then, right after he dumped me, it was pure hell for the first 3 weeks because he did not contact me at all. I was used to him calling/texting me every day, lol. I began to get used to not communicating wth him ... then one day he texted me out of the blue. I started texting him back. It was just small talk, but the communication was still dangerous because it gave me false hopes. He has texted me twice since. I decided to follow the no-contact rule once and for all. I emailed him tonight, asking that he text me no more, for my healing. It is just impossible to be friends with him right now ... perhaps in a few years or so. Now I need my no-contact coccoon ... lol My long-time partner and I broke up at the end of September — I moved out on him from frustration with everything … I was going to initiate the breakup but I offered staying together if he wanted to. He said yes …. then a few weeks later he went on a trip with a friend of ours and dumped me for her.
I was not aware of the “no-contact” rule until I started surfing sites like this one a couple of weeks ago. Before then, right after he dumped me, it was pure hell for the first 3 weeks because he did not contact me at all. I was used to him calling/texting me every day, lol. I began to get used to not communicating wth him … then one day he texted me out of the blue. I started texting him back. It was just small talk, but the communication was still dangerous because it gave me false hopes. He has texted me twice since. I decided to follow the no-contact rule once and for all. I emailed him tonight, asking that he text me no more, for my healing. It is just impossible to be friends with him right now … perhaps in a few years or so. Now I need my no-contact coccoon … lol

]]> By: Anonymous http://lovesagame.com/about-the-necessity-of-no-contact/comment-page-5/#comment-16914 Anonymous Mon, 20 Jun 2011 17:06:00 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=606#comment-16914 Hey! My ex and I broke up 3 weeks ago. I am feeling pretty crappy because he wasn't clear with me when he broke up with me, and then we went out for drinks and he treated me like I was his "buddy". It felt terrible, and the next day I texted him "please do not contact me". I texted him the next day after he was like "please talk to me". I wrote a text I did not mean to send but unfortunatly I sat on my phone (hours after writing, it should have been keypad locked!) and it sent. I re-iterated the next day to please not contact me. I called him a week later to ask for "clarity". He said he was "confused". I was feeling really bad about that but did not contact him. Last Thursday he sends me this text: "please be patient with me. i am sorry" That text angered me so much. He stringing me along and also gets to apologize, seriously?!Broken I called him on Friday and he did not answer. I sent him a text saying "Got your text, we need to talk. Please call me tomorrow" He did not respond until Tuesday late night saying "Maybe we can meet Thursday to talk. I am sorry for delaying." I texted him telling him I was busy Thursday, but free Friday early evening. He texted me at 5pm Friday saying when was good for me, I told him I was busy. (I made other plans when I didn't hear from him!). And here is where I get really mad at myself: I texted him saying "how about tomorrow?" I was really upset and wanted clarity from him but knew better than to engage with him at all, just making this easier for him and harder for me. He was like sure we can meet tomorrow. I was really upset and went for a walk and decided I did not want to meet with him. I texted him: "I thought about it and I do not want to meet" He texted me: "Okay well that probably signifies the end then. I am sorry we could not talk" That made me feel so angry and sad. It gets worse: I texted him back "I do want to talk" We then had the Worst text conversation for my self-respect. He was like "I love you but this aint working. we will figure this out but it needs time when tensions have eased" I texted him "I don't feel tension." "I think we do need to talk" He repeated "please leave me be for awhile" I repeated: "We need to meet and talk" He responded with flippant remarks like "do your thing" and then "the ball is in your court" So I said "Lets meet tomorrow as planned" He said "No promises. Please stop texting me" Why I'm angry about this is because I knew better than to be in touch with him at all from day one, and I feel I have made it easier for him and also made him respect me less, and me respecting myself less after this. Yet I know it makes sense because he was being so unclear (His breakup talk really wasn't clear that we were even breaking up). Writing here to get support. I am not going to contact him ever again and will not respond if he contacts me, but we have several mutual friends and what I wanted was: For him to feel bad for hurting me To be in NC Then for him to eventually see that I have moved on and am happier without him But now I feel like he doesn't even respect me and feel less respect for myself so harder to move on. Any advice on how to regain any power and respect back in this situation? How to still get my three goals above? Love to all and good luck with NC. Hey!

My ex and I broke up 3 weeks ago. I am feeling pretty crappy because he wasn’t
clear with me when he broke up with me, and then we went out for drinks and he
treated me like I was his “buddy”. It felt terrible, and the next day
I texted him “please do not contact me”.

I texted him the next day after he was like “please talk to me”. I
wrote a text I did not mean to send but unfortunatly I sat on my phone (hours
after writing, it should have been keypad locked!) and it sent. I re-iterated
the next day to please not contact me.

I called him a week later to ask for “clarity”. He said he was
“confused”. I was feeling really bad about that but did not contact
him.

Last Thursday he sends me this text: “please be patient with me. i am
sorry”

That text angered me so much. He stringing me along and also gets to apologize,
seriously?!Broken I called him on Friday and he did not
answer. I sent him a text saying “Got your text, we need to talk. Please
call me tomorrow”

He did not respond until Tuesday late night saying “Maybe we can meet
Thursday to talk. I am sorry for delaying.” I texted him telling him I was
busy Thursday, but free Friday early evening. He texted me at 5pm Friday saying
when was good for me, I told him I was busy. (I made other plans when I didn’t
hear from him!).

And here is where I get really mad at myself:

I texted him saying “how about tomorrow?” I was really upset and
wanted clarity from him but knew better than to engage with him at all, just
making this easier for him and harder for me. He was like sure we can meet
tomorrow.

I was really upset and went for a walk and decided I did not want to meet with
him. I texted him: “I thought about it and I do not want to meet”

He texted me: “Okay well that probably signifies the end then. I am sorry
we could not talk”

That made me feel so angry and sad. It gets worse: I texted him back “I do
want to talk”

We then had the Worst text conversation for my self-respect. He was like
“I love you but this aint working. we will figure this out but it needs
time when tensions have eased”

I texted him “I don’t feel tension.” “I think we do need to
talk”

He repeated “please leave me be for awhile”

I repeated: “We need to meet and talk”

He responded with flippant remarks like “do your thing” and then
“the ball is in your court” So I said “Lets meet tomorrow as
planned”

He said “No promises. Please stop texting me”

Why I’m angry about this is because I knew better than to be in touch with him
at all from day one, and I feel I have made it easier for him and also made him
respect me less, and me respecting myself less after this. Yet I know it makes
sense because he was being so unclear (His breakup talk really wasn’t clear
that we were even breaking up).

Writing here to get support. I am not going to contact him ever again and will
not respond if he contacts me, but we have several mutual friends and what I
wanted was:

For him to feel bad for hurting me
To be in NC
Then for him to eventually see that I have moved on and am happier without him

But now I feel like he doesn’t even respect me and feel less respect for myself
so harder to move on. Any advice on how to regain any power and respect back in
this situation? How to still get my three goals above?

Love to all and good luck with NC.

]]> By: Allenerin1985 http://lovesagame.com/about-the-necessity-of-no-contact/comment-page-5/#comment-14661 Allenerin1985 Fri, 08 Apr 2011 09:05:00 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=606#comment-14661 My situation is a typical one. My ex boyfriend dumped me out of the blue after two years of being together. He never really said why all the way. All he said was that he doesn't want to play daddy to my kids anymore eventhough HE is the one who asked my kids to call him daddy. Very cruel if you ask me. I stuck to the no contact rule for a few months, then ultimately ended up texting him some mean and nasty stuff just to make him mad. I wanted him to hurt just like he hurt me. I am very good at insulting people if I feel provoked in any way. Especially with my ex, I know how to push his buttons, eventhough I am still in love with him. He will somtimes reply to my texts if they're mean enough. I end up feeling bad for the things I say, but at the time I really don't give a rats ass. We talk so much shit to each other it's ridiculous. I currently still live in the house that he owns because I don't feel like I should have to move out just because he can't stand to be around me. Here's the funny part: After he ended things between us, he moved out claiming that I forced him out of his own house. That's utterly preposterous!! How can I force him out if he is the one who owns the house?? He moved out of his own free will. I told him I wasn't going to move out of his house unless he evicts me. It's been four months since he moved out and he still has not tried to evict me. If he hates me so badly then why hasn't he tried to evict me? It doesn't make sense. Does he still love me deep down or did he move out because it's just easier than having to go through an eviction process. I really want him back, but maybe he really is through with me for good. It's driving me crazy. Point being: If he wants me out of his house and out of his life forever, why won't he just evict me. It's a weird situation. Is there anything I can do to make him realize dumping me was a mistake? I'm so drained by all of this. Any advice????? My situation is a typical one. My ex boyfriend dumped me out of the blue after two years of being together. He never really said why all the way. All he said was that he doesn’t want to play daddy to my kids anymore eventhough HE is the one who asked my kids to call him daddy. Very cruel if you ask me. I stuck to the no contact rule for a few months, then ultimately ended up texting him some mean and nasty stuff just to make him mad. I wanted him to hurt just like he hurt me. I am very good at insulting people if I feel provoked in any way. Especially with my ex, I know how to push his buttons, eventhough I am still in love with him. He will somtimes reply to my texts if they’re mean enough. I end up feeling bad for the things I say, but at the time I really don’t give a rats ass. We talk so much shit to each other it’s ridiculous. I currently still live in the house that he owns because I don’t feel like I should have to move out just because he can’t stand to be around me. Here’s the funny part: After he ended things between us, he moved out claiming that I forced him out of his own house. That’s utterly preposterous!! How can I force him out if he is the one who owns the house?? He moved out of his own free will. I told him I wasn’t going to move out of his house unless he evicts me. It’s been four months since he moved out and he still has not tried to evict me. If he hates me so badly then why hasn’t he tried to evict me? It doesn’t make sense. Does he still love me deep down or did he move out because it’s just easier than having to go through an eviction process. I really want him back, but maybe he really is through with me for good. It’s driving me crazy. Point being: If he wants me out of his house and out of his life forever, why won’t he just evict me. It’s a weird situation. Is there anything I can do to make him realize dumping me was a mistake? I’m so drained by all of this. Any advice?????

]]> By: Jess http://lovesagame.com/about-the-necessity-of-no-contact/comment-page-5/#comment-13452 Jess Thu, 17 Mar 2011 03:36:00 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=606#comment-13452 4get You are so right. I'm in a total mess now. Emotional breakdown yesterday after meeting him up for a drink. I hate it hate it hate it. I hate myself so much for still loving such a useless married man. Can someone please scold and knock some sense into me. He lie to his wife to come out and meet me. We have not had sex but i know in time he is going to use me for sex. And once the wife got to know of it again, he will give me the cold shoulder and i will be in even deeper shit. Please please before i do something wrong further knock some sense into me. 4get

You are so right. I’m in a total mess now. Emotional breakdown yesterday after meeting him up for a drink. I hate it hate it hate it. I hate myself so much for still loving such a useless married man. Can someone please scold and knock some sense into me. He lie to his wife to come out and meet me. We have not had sex but i know in time he is going to use me for sex. And once the wife got to know of it again, he will give me the cold shoulder and i will be in even deeper shit. Please please before i do something wrong further knock some sense into me.

]]> By: Astra http://lovesagame.com/about-the-necessity-of-no-contact/comment-page-5/#comment-11624 Astra Sat, 05 Feb 2011 18:56:00 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=606#comment-11624 Wow, you described my ex to a t. You're doing good to get out after 1.5 years. I hung on for seven, and I discovered that even though someone can change some behaviors, their core and motivations never really change, so the same problems surface in another way. I totally understand what you feel and why it's so hard to leave. He seems to have something magnetic that about him that makes it so hard to leave ... and the highs are sooo high ... but the lows are sooo low. It's like being on a roller coaster, and if you're on it too long it makes you sick. Still, for those of us who are addicted to the rush, it is also, well, addicting. I'm still struggling myself. Hang in there. Wow, you described my ex to a t. You’re doing good to get out after 1.5 years. I hung on for seven, and I discovered that even though someone can change some behaviors, their core and motivations never really change, so the same problems surface in another way. I totally understand what you feel and why it’s so hard to leave. He seems to have something magnetic that about him that makes it so hard to leave … and the highs are sooo high … but the lows are sooo low. It’s like being on a roller coaster, and if you’re on it too long it makes you sick. Still, for those of us who are addicted to the rush, it is also, well, addicting. I’m still struggling myself. Hang in there.

]]> By: Claudette http://lovesagame.com/about-the-necessity-of-no-contact/comment-page-5/#comment-11286 Claudette Mon, 24 Jan 2011 07:44:00 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=606#comment-11286 This makes SO much sense. I'm still going through my most recent break up and held true to the no-contact rule. Unfortunately, my ex-the dumper, ironically- did not. I felt like I had moved so far in those few days of being alone and getting all the emotions out but it all came crashing back down on me and I can't help but send these awfully passive-aggressive responses back to his attempts to meet with me. Today I finally broke down, officially back to square one. No contact is so so so essential to healing but it's just so hard when he's still reaching out to me and I see him everyday. This website though was truly a blessing in giving me some direction in where to go from here. This makes SO much sense. I’m still going through my most recent break up and held true to the no-contact rule. Unfortunately, my ex-the dumper, ironically- did not. I felt like I had moved so far in those few days of being alone and getting all the emotions out but it all came crashing back down on me and I can’t help but send these awfully passive-aggressive responses back to his attempts to meet with me. Today I finally broke down, officially back to square one. No contact is so so so essential to healing but it’s just so hard when he’s still reaching out to me and I see him everyday. This website though was truly a blessing in giving me some direction in where to go from here.

]]> By: Todd http://lovesagame.com/about-the-necessity-of-no-contact/comment-page-5/#comment-11278 Todd Sun, 23 Jan 2011 19:04:00 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=606#comment-11278 My ex and I dated for only 6 weeks, and in that short time I got her pregnant. I know, total reckless stupidity, but it is what it is. She shut down as soon as she found out, and we broke up. Its been 3 weeks and she is letting me go to her appointments with her, but I still have feelings for her and I have an instinct to take care of her because she is pregnant with my kid. She has no desire to make things work, and does not talk to me other than stuff about her pregnancy. I want to stop talking to her and only go to her appointments and be there for my kid, but I cant get her out of my head, and I hate the fact that we won't be together with a kid on the way. Should I go about no contact (except for appointments)? Why the hell am I thinking about someone whom I dated for only 6 weeks? My ex and I dated for only 6 weeks, and in that short time I got her pregnant. I know, total reckless stupidity, but it is what it is. She shut down as soon as she found out, and we broke up. Its been 3 weeks and she is letting me go to her appointments with her, but I still have feelings for her and I have an instinct to take care of her because she is pregnant with my kid. She has no desire to make things work, and does not talk to me other than stuff about her pregnancy. I want to stop talking to her and only go to her appointments and be there for my kid, but I cant get her out of my head, and I hate the fact that we won’t be together with a kid on the way. Should I go about no contact (except for appointments)? Why the hell am I thinking about someone whom I dated for only 6 weeks?

]]> By: Jess http://lovesagame.com/about-the-necessity-of-no-contact/comment-page-5/#comment-11228 Jess Thu, 20 Jan 2011 09:43:00 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=606#comment-11228 I had a relapse today. Its almost a month and I thought I was recovering but out of sudden I wake up this morning missing so much of him. Even have stupid thoughts of going back to him. After much crying and careful thinking, I give up. But this is affecting my work and my life. Please please I need to get out of this. I cant control my emotion. Can someone help. I am still hoping very much that he will call. I had a relapse today. Its almost a month and I thought I was recovering but out of sudden I wake up this morning missing so much of him. Even have stupid thoughts of going back to him. After much crying and careful thinking, I give up. But this is affecting my work and my life. Please please I need to get out of this. I cant control my emotion. Can someone help. I am still hoping very much that he will call.

]]> By: Jess http://lovesagame.com/about-the-necessity-of-no-contact/comment-page-5/#comment-11229 Jess Thu, 20 Jan 2011 09:43:00 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=606#comment-11229 I had a relapse today. Its almost a month and I thought I was recovering but out of sudden I wake up this morning missing so much of him. Even have stupid thoughts of going back to him. After much crying and careful thinking, I give up. But this is affecting my work and my life. Please please I need to get out of this. I cant control my emotion. Can someone help. I am still hoping very much that he will call. I had a relapse today. Its almost a month and I thought I was recovering but out of sudden I wake up this morning missing so much of him. Even have stupid thoughts of going back to him. After much crying and careful thinking, I give up. But this is affecting my work and my life. Please please I need to get out of this. I cant control my emotion. Can someone help. I am still hoping very much that he will call.

]]> By: Eddie Corbano http://lovesagame.com/about-the-necessity-of-no-contact/comment-page-5/#comment-10831 Eddie Corbano Fri, 24 Dec 2010 11:33:00 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=606#comment-10831 This seems to be an amazing book (never seen so many positive reviews), thanks for the recommendation. Eddie This seems to be an amazing book (never seen so many positive reviews), thanks for the recommendation.

Eddie

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