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“Are you real?”

This is a surprising question that I received via e-mail.

That got me thinking.

I thought that I revealed plenty of myself in the blog: my suffering, my recovery, my mission to help people who were in the same position as I have been.

Throughout all of my articles, I have revealed more and more about my past. Hence, why would someone ask the question of whether or not I was a real person?

I refuse to think that my whole story looks like a marketing invention. And yet, maybe I haven’t revealed as much about the PERSON Eddie Corbano as I have thought?

This is when I decided to write some more about my personal story and my life. Click to continue »

I must have heard this often used consolation phrase a thousand times back then. In fact, I heard it so often that it made me sick every time.

Why?

Because it did not offer me any comfort. It just gave me a small peak into an uncertain future.

Which phrase am I talking about?

The advice that is given most often at the beginning of a relationship break up:

“Time will heal all wounds… eventually.”

When you suffer from a break up or divorce all you want is INSTANT release, not a remotely possible outlook. You’re not open to things that may happen in 2 years. Your pain is NOW, and it’s very real.

Unfortunately this advice does not offer any release.

The only advice that really helped me in the very beginning of my breakup, (2 days after), came from a close friend wanting to give me comfort.

He just said that all of this must be a mistake, and that she will come to her senses eventually. “After all”, he said, “you were about to getting married.”

Man, that made me feel better. I felt REALLY good… for about two hours. Then reality caught up with me.

Pain was there again in all its cruelty.

It was then that I understood that I really had to go through this, as cruel as this thought might have been. I had to endure this excruciating pain, and there was nothing that could save me from that.

We must be aware of 3 things during the FIRST days after a break up or divorce (the pre-phase of a break up): Click to continue »

There is a movie called Peggy Sue Got Married where a grown woman miraculously travels back in time to her high school years. She then tries to avoid all the mistakes she made, especially not hooking up with her eventual husband.

Guess what?  She did it all again. Exactly the same way she did before.

While of course this is just a movie, it is true that when you reach a certain age, you tend to look back on your life and think about what you could have done better.

I turned 41 last year, would you believe it? I do not.

But I am happy with it.

It wasn’t always that way. There was a time when I was afraid of getting older. I had the feeling that time was my enemy, and that every day that passes I was losing something really important – an opportunity.

I was afraid of change.

As if getting older means losing your youth and vitality. It does not. Not if you don’t want it to. You can still start a new business, snowboard, jet ski, jump out of planes, date young women, climb the K2.

You can still do everything you want to – it only depends upon your will and determination.

It is my belief that with age, you win so much more.

Among other things, you gain wisdom and experience (note: this might not be applicable to everyone).

Along with this, sooner or later one important question arises:

If you look back at your time as a young adult, (for some of my readers this is not long ago), would you have done things differently with the experience you have now?

You certainly would.

One good friend of mine once said that when he looks back on his life, he only regrets things he has not done – he never regrets the things he did.

This is so true for me.

Having that in mind, I asked myself what I would have done differently back then, (and I’m going to come completely clean here).

Here they are – the 10 things I would do different if I were 18 again: Click to continue »

For probably most of my readers (the breakup survivors) the year 2008 was definitely not their best one. For many others however, it was hopefully a start into a new and better future.

To me personally the year 2008 brought very radical but happy changes. I will never forget this year and what it meant to me.

I wanted to remind you that we alone are the masters of our own destiny. We are free to choose our own paths at any time and consciously create the future we want for ourselves. Never be afraid of changes in your life.

A new year is an excellent opportunity for a fresh new start.

I wish everybody a very happy, healthy and successful New Year.

If you need some help with New Year’s resolutions, check out the article I wrote last year about resolutions that can change your life.

All the best to everybody, your friend,

Eddie Corbano

(Photograph is a courtesy of Mohan.M.)

Many years ago, when I suffered from my own break up, I bought a book about poems and love. I wanted to know the answer to my question: What is love really?

Could the answer be found in poems?

We shall see.

Lovers have long used poetry as an expression of their feelings when spoken words fall short. Through the ages, some of this poetry has stood the test of time as great works of art. Often words capture things that would be lost to the world if it had not been captured on a page.

There are several works of art that have stood the test of time and become classics.

Poem No1:

“She Walks In Beauty”
By Lord Byron

She walks in beauty like the night
Of cloudless climes and starry skies;
And all that’s best of dark and bright
Meets in her aspect and her eyes;
Thus mellowed to that tender light
Which heaven to gaudy day denies.
One shade the more, one ray the less,
Had half impaired the nameless grace
Which waves in every raven tress
Or softly lightens o’er her face;
Where thoughts serenely sweet express
How pure, how dear their dwelling-place.
And on that cheek, and o’er that brow,
So soft, so calm, so eloquent,
The smiles that win, the tints that glow,
But tell of days in goodness spent,
A mind at peace with all below,
A heart whose love is innocent.

Written in 1815 By Lord Byron, this poem refers to his cousin, whom he met at a party in the home of Lady Stillwell’s. The cousin is Ms. Wilmont, and while the meaning of the dark is often debated in this poem, it is easily explained. Click to continue »