Author Archive

This is a guest post by Rick Ortiz from Dads Divorce for Dads who need effective legal help with their divorces.

If it’s true that Love bears many similarities to a game, then it must also be true that being prepared and having a feeling of control of one’s position on the playing field are very important aspects of performing well. Perhaps there is no time other than when your team is behind, disoriented and otherwise being trampled that this feeling of confidence in your resources is more important.

The end of a relationship whether through separation or divorce is almost always difficult, and a large part of the feeling of difficulty is a result of the fact that the relationship however dysfunctional or broken it might have been, was in some way a safe, consistent place.  And now it is over, and the fear of the unknown is almost always intimidating. The men who come to our site, DadsDivorce.com, magnify the intensity of the romantic breakup as a result of the fact that the relationship in question is a marriage and supposed to last forever, there are co-mingled finances as well as emotions, and often, there are children involved.

A large part of the impact that our men feel when going through divorce is due to this loss of control that often accompanies it. Undisputed numbers suggest that over 85% of all divorces are initiated by the woman, and so we guys are often blindsided and forced to deal with this major life change with little or no preparation. Click to continue »

This is a guest post by Rick Ortiz from Dads Divorce.

It’s happened. Game over.

The relationship is ending (supposedly) in divorce. But, it is necessary to tie up the loose ends during the divorce process and, if there are children involved, certain parts of the relationship are never really over.

The following guidelines assume that you and your partner are moving forward with the divorce process, or that you must remain in contact with your ex afterwards for reasons pertaining to the children.

According to attorney Erik Carter of Cordell & Cordell, PC, a firm dealing exclusively with divorce, there are a set of points you should consider when you must negotiate with your ex or soon-to-be-ex.

Of course there is much to be said for basing a relationship upon trust, but let’s face it, if the relationship is in the throws of a divorce or post divorce, trust is probably a factor that is on some level questionable. During the divorce process the stakes are high regarding what each party will walk away with and care must be taken not to cross into territory that could put either party in a position to lose what is most important to them. If this advice suggests materialism, consider the “non-material” elements that are potentially up for grabs such as access to your children, your finances, and your freedom to make unhindered decisions for the rest of your life.

The rules that follow are a method for navigating the perilous waters of the divorce process, a process governed by the letter of the law and attention to detail. Click to continue »

This is a guest post by Rick Ortiz from Dads Divorce.

How do you separate from a spouse while continuing to instill in your children a sense of well-being and a hopefulness about love?

As the editor of a divorce resource targeted to fathers I see the after-effects of relationships gone bad and the fallout that strains the parent/child relationship on a daily basis.

We all know that romantic love, by its very nature is mostly guided by something other than our rationale, and the reasons that cause us to leave a relationship are as varied and impossible to define as those that brought us together in the first place. But even in our most self-righteous moments, when we are sure that the other party is completely to blame for things falling apart, we must remember the most important thing of beauty that came out of the relationship: Children.

From the child’s perspective, their world is now imploding and nothing they can do can control or stop that. Remember that our children are monitoring everything we do, say and in any other way communicate to them, and they don’t miss a thing. By thinking of the children first during this difficult time we ensure that they will have the skills and courage to engage fully in loving relationships, will have a strong self-identity, will have positive feelings about ourselves, and will understand the importance of having respect for others even when we don’t agree.

Below are some things to remember in order to when divorce is certain… Click to continue »