Comments on: Dealing With Anger After A Break Up – Part 3/3

By: Eddie Corbano

Eddie Corbano — Thu, 29 Dec 2011 08:39:00 +0000

Hi Susie,

I think your main problem is that you never tried – even considered – to start a new life of your own. Almost four years is a very long time to still be angry.

You need to make a clean cut, mentally and by making him clear (through your actions) that such behavior is unacceptable (I will never understand how someone can abandon his own children for four years).

Your main focus should be the mental safety of your children (how do they react on the re-appearance of their father?) and finally starting your own life again.

I suggest that you follow the No-Contact Rule and start doing the things that make YOU happy.

Eddie

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 15:16:00 +0000

My husband left in 2008, he left me for another woman who I just found out he has a new baby by. We have two children and the only contact we have had is over the phone, he made no attempt to see his children in almost four years(he had moved out of state). He came to see our kids after almost four years for Christmas and informed me he had a baby by this lady he has been seeing since we broke up. He has lied since the beginning about this relationship and on Chrismas Eve tells me they have a new baby. I am just as angry as when he left and I don’t even know why I thought I was past this. I have not dated or seen anyone since the breakup and feel like I am in the same place I was when he left the first time. He however has moved on with his life. Help.

By: Stlebelica

Stlebelica — Thu, 17 Feb 2011 19:09:00 +0000

I broke up with my boyfriend of nine months the day before yesterday, but it seems like much longer. It was all my fault and I have been having a hard time forgiving myself (meaning that I can’t). My mistakes were some of the ones described on this very website. They all came from fear of losing him (which I once did, when he broke up with me and said he doesn’t want a relationship because he doesn’t like himself, but loves me nevertheless. He came back saying he couldn’t make it without me, and I took him back, and thought we could go on like nothing happened) I have always had it in me, and did that even before the breakup, but after that it got much worse, I don’t know if that’s the reason. The thing is, if I had really tried not to keep on poking through his brain and forcing him to answer every stupid question, everything would have been perfect, because I truly believe(d) we are meant for each other. Now I have this sense of guilt and fear for maybe ruining the best thing I ever could have had. And I can’t live with it, the fact that I didn’t try. Now I’ve pushed him away and when we had our last fight, something in him snapped and he decided he just couldn’t go back, because we’ve been fighting a lot for the past months (my fault), and he can’t give me another chance to make it right because he doesn’t believe anything could change. The thing is, we can’t go back, obviously, but the guilt is ruining me. I love him, and with him I was the happiest I’d ever been, and I just don’t want to lose him, what if he was the one, and I ruined it? I still think he was perfect for me.

By: jay blue

jay blue — Mon, 15 Nov 2010 21:35:58 +0000

Thank you so much for this website, I am in the process of a very messy break up and the help I have found here has been so comforting. I now understand a lot of the feelings I have had and am looking forward to the future now, which I wasn't before. Thank you

By: Spaceshuttle2000

Spaceshuttle2000 — Wed, 14 Jul 2010 12:54:27 +0000

I broke up a month ago from a 4 year relationship. I am now going through phase 2. All the tears has dried off, I regain my loss of appetite, I can smile. However, I am so angry with my ex and I always told myself how regrettable it has been for me to do this and that. Now that I read your blog and it enlightens me. Thank you very much sharing a

By: James Nganga

James Nganga — Thu, 12 Nov 2009 07:20:23 +0000

Hi,
I broke up with my girl friend of two years about five months ago and in a fit of anger even got her fired from her place of work at a hospital and wrote an embarrassing letter to her folks.The whole thing was very nasty and if i knew then what i know now things would be very different.

I wish i had stumbled upon your website sooner because in truth i still have feelings for her but its toooo late and the damage has been done. I have tried to move on but my heart sticks to this one girl.

I get very depressed when i think about things as they stand but i guess i just to live with the situation as it is.There isn’t a day that passes without me thinking of her and wishing i cud turn back the hands of time.

She was my only true love but she fell out of love.

By: Toni

Toni — Fri, 26 Sep 2008 18:50:15 +0000

I went through a breakup about 4 months before my daughter was born. I was never angry before, but recently I feel myself getting angry over nothing at my current boyfriend. I was wondering if maybe because I have that attachment to my ex that I could be displaying my anger all of a sudden and will the steps in this blog help me the same as everyone else. I never see my ex and he has nothing to do with my daughter. I just want the anger to go away and am willing to try anything.

By: saturina

saturina — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 23:40:40 +0000

this is a great website – I am going through a breakup right now and I am exactly in the second phase. i have done some of your practical exercises, but will also try the others b/c im sure they will help. in addition, your blog has helped me understand why i am feeling this way towards my ex and myself. thanks so much

By: Vinodh

Vinodh — Tue, 25 Mar 2008 11:54:22 +0000

Thanks a lot!! … There is been times i am really confused on what all this is ALL-ABOUT, then i found your blog … it gives me what all i missed all these years … thanks for this … All your topics are worth reading and i only wish more to come.

By: Jan

Jan — Mon, 25 Feb 2008 10:19:20 +0000

Thanks Eddie for the your informative articles…more power & god bless…