Break Up and Divorce Have YOU Made These Mistakes After Your Relationship Break Up?

Have YOU Made These Mistakes After Your Relationship Break Up?

Months, or even years after a relationship break up, we will fully realize the fatal mistakes we made right after it happened.

Especially the panic controlled actions that made us appear as a different person – often we don’t recognize ourselves anymore.

It can bring out the worst in us.

It usually happens that we hate ourselves later for the things we’ve done.

This is understandable, but the wrong thing to do.

Not only does it damage our self-esteem, which is urgently needed for the recovery, (what’s left of it), but it also destroys the new concept of self-love we are trying to build up.

Avoid these feelings by telling yourself that the past is the past, and concentrate on the NOW.

There is a famous quote where it says that one should learn from the mistakes OTHERS make and thereby avoid them.

On the other hand:

“The only real mistake is the one from which we learn nothing.”
—John Powell

Still thinking about your Ex? Click here to take the test to learn how long it takes to heal... and how you can speed up the process.

I believe that there are two kinds of mistakes: the kind that you can learn and evolve from, and the kind that should be avoided.

When it comes to post relationship break up mistakes, there are some which better be avoided.

The following fall into that category.

Here are the main mistakes most people make right AFTER a relationship break up:

Mistake #1: Panic Controlled Actions

Confronted by what we think is the worst that can happen to us, we do anything to fight it off: we plead, we beg, cry in front of our Exes, harass, stalk, write e-mails, IMs, etc.

All these things will make you cringe when you later think about it.

I think that almost every “Dumpee” makes these mistakes – I don’t believe that they are completely avoidable. These are desperate actions by our “animal” part of the brain, fighting for survival.

The sad thing is that they are completely useless. I’ve never heard that a “Dumper” came back after the “Dumpee” wrote them a gazillion e-mails begging to have mercy.

If you’ve made these mistakes, don’t beat yourself up over them.   If you’re about to commit them, try to resist.

Mistake #2: Reassuring Love

We are committed to thinking that if they only KNEW how much we loved them, they would come back immediately, so we keep telling them – over and over again.

The only problem is, they KNOW. They’re breaking up anyway.

Breakups rarely happen because the “Dumper” thinks that they are not being loved. Constant reassurance only leads to humiliation.

Mistake #3: Hoping To Stay Friends

This is a very common mistake that is often made by those having little experience with relationship break ups.

I know that your Ex was your best friend, your intimate partner, the closest person to you. But it is impossible to maintain this kind of relationship AFTER the breakup. Everything has changed – nothing is as it was before.

You can’t count on your Ex any longer because they will harm you more than they would help.

The good news is, you CAN find another support system: Look for old friends who used to be close. Your family should also be of great help.

Use every connection you have for support – you need it.

Mistake #3 leads us directly to the next one.

Mistake #4: Maintaining Contact

The no-contact rule is the number one precondition IF you want to get over your relationship break up fast. Click to Tweet

Look at it like a drug addict: you can’t get clean with YOUR drug right in front of you.

I talk about this is more detail here.

Mistake #5: Use Your Exes Friends And Family

Out of the ambition to make sense out of all of it, we use their friends or their family. We interview, manipulate and try to use them for our purposes.

Besides the fact that they rarely know anything about the deeper reasons, it is inappropriate to involve a third person in your breakup.

This is something that’s between you and your Ex.

If you do this, you will regret it later.

Mistake #6: Rebound Relationships

Many people leapfrog into a new affair right after their relationship breaks up.

I do not recommend that.

It may appear that this is the best thing to do in order to get over your Ex but, believe me, the opposite is the case.

You will always be comparing to your Ex, everything will remind you of them, and you will be frustrated because NOBODY is as good as your Ex.  (This is an illusion of course).

It will throw you back, and it will mask your pain, hiding you from the issues your breakup needs to resolve. Don’t deny yourself the opportunity to work these things out.

If you do, you have to face that problem again and again, from relationship to relationship.

For many people, healing will not start until they are alone with themselves, confronting their inner demons.

These are the main mistakes most people make right AFTER their relationship breaks up.

Please don’t beat yourself up if you’ve already made some of them.

Even if they should be avoided, some of these mistakes are part of the healing and learning process.

So even IF you will look back month/years later and regret a few things you’ve done, they might have been necessary to get you to the point you are today.

Now it’s your turn, tell me, which one if these mistakes have you made?

Your friend,
Eddie Corbano

  • I met a girl at her work and spoke with her almost every other day for nine months. I finally asked her out and after a few dates we decided to see each other on a steady basis. One month in she cheated on me with her ex. A month later she established conversation with me and begged for me to forgive her, I did and we tried again… but this time I wasn’t committed, I just kept wondering if she would cheat again and distanced myself. On my birthday she baked me a cake, said she loved me and left to go somewhere that was to important to tell me. Later her friend told me she was cheating on me with her ex again and that is where she had been. Time went by and I started the healing process but she came back into my life again telling me it was a mistake. We agreed to try and be friends first and then see if it turned into a relationship later, but that would never happen as I couldn’t forget all pain. I couldn’t ignore that voice telling me it would happen again. Then last week I told her that I couldn’t handle the agreement anymore… I broke it off with her. That day she called me just under 40 times, left over 20 messages, 87 texts and sat in her car watching my house from a nearby business. When she realized I was serious she almost immediately stopped all her contact and moved in with the same guy she had previously cheated on me with. I know I should have broke it off the first time she cheated but I was hoping against all odds that fairytales do come true… If love was a tree then cheating would be the uncontrollable fire that destroys from within. It obliterates ever perfect thing that can come from that relationship. In its wake it makes no reference to age, race, sex or beliefs, and leaves its victims helpless and alone. I only wish that potential cheaters or victims of cheaters could read these posts before they inflict their damage.

    • I made two of them.. The writing him after the break up and contacting someone from his family

    • Ok Eddie, heres how my breakup occurred and Im wondering if I handled it correctly?
      My ex has a ZERO filter on her mouth when she gets angry or overwhelmed.Ive seen it happen about twice a year for 3 years. 98% of the time she was a FANTASTIC person, however when the angry 2% appeared, it erased EVERYTHING.So, here goes
      1 week before the actual breakup occurred, she told me Sell that house of yours already and just move in with and the kids. ( we spoke a lot of a future together)
      Well, exactly 1 week after that comment, I went to her house after work ( I work the midnight shift) I woke her up as I was told to do and had some fun, If you know what i mean hehehehe.
      Well, after I woke up and was having coffee Im not exactly sure what we were talking about but she started off with #1 your starting to make my ex look good and then a few minutes later #2 you make me regret dumping my ex!!!!
      I stood up calmly after tieing my shoes, walked towrds the door, left the key to her apartment where all the other keys are hanging on hooks and walked out. I was and still am totally shocked that she knows ahe has a bad temper and says extremely hurtful things, yet, she justifies it by saying that she only reacts to things I do. IE- its always my fault, she never does anything wrong.
      So, did I handle it the right way or was there some other way to handle it?

    • BreakUp Big Mistakes:

      4/14~ broke up w bi-polar lady of 6years as wasnt gettg better yet i loved her a great deal …
      5/14 i started drinking 🙁
      5/14 ~ i married lady in vegas i knew for 3weeks

      Blew 100k+ over summer

      Now sober and wondering what happened

      9/09 ex called me for first time since breakup

      Messes with my head as am now finally getting life together

      I appreciate everyones comments as was soo painful and is finally gtg better

      Still hirts plus have a new person
      So is hard

  • hello guys, i have been in a relationship for some 2.5yrs. all was fine till the day my bf said frustrating things like am from a village and said wrong things about my family. so i got frustrated and kept suffering all alone. 1day i couldn’t take it, then i started complaining and fighting. i couldn’t see him with his family since i got jealous and possessive. he ended up not going to his cousin’s wedding because i was acting difficult. i even said bad things to his cousin in anger and out of frustration. he left me because i fought so much and i also spoke of suicide. he said so many bad things and left me all alone. i was shocked that he left me.

    After 2 months, he came back. during those 2months i suffered a lot and had lots of problems in my life, like families getting ill and other problems. i was really shocked that i was lonely and he knew about it and did not respond. so when he came back i found his i love u, i care for u fake. so i complained to him, asked him why he left? i cried a lot, he was having his exams and i behaved badly. i even spoke of suicide again. all these drove him crazy and he again stopped talking to me.

    he did not speak for some 2mnths again. i was fed up and asked him for a decision, he told me, i can not forget they way you have been crying and acting difficult, i just can not forget it and i know i will never forget it in life. you said bad things to my cousin and she told my family about this, now they will hate you and things will be difficult for us in the future. lets stop here, am sorry, bye. this is the last thing he said to me.

    I want him back, can any1 tell me how things can be sorted out??? thanks

  • my girlfriend told me that she wants to go home, and that she is homesick.
    i live abroad and met her 5 months ago, right away we hit it off, she stayed
    at my place almost every night even though she had her own apartment, we
    virtually lived togethet from the start. A few months later we were officially living
    together, she moved all her things into myplace, we were totally in love, the only
    thing is that i am in my very early 40 tys and she is t her mid twenties, however
    she insited age means nothing to which which i agree, apart from her father not beein best pleasedabout it everything was goin good untill we both went home for christmas in our
    respective cities, on our return things were good for a few days then i felt that she was being a bit distant towards me, i didn’t want to confront her about it of fear of hearing
    something that i didn’t want to hear, sounds stupid but when your in love you dont want to
    burst the bubble so to say, a week later she hits me with im homesick bla bla bla, its not
    you and all that, however she tells me that she still loves me and wants to see how we feel
    in a month or so, i know for a fact that while she was on her christmas hoiladay with her family and friend they were ‘pitching her or brainwashing her on coming back’ so last week
    she flew back home not taking all her things, shoes, clothes, ect because it was too much to take back, obviously i was devastated but i didn’t show it, she said to keep in touch, so in the last week she has text me a number of times, how are you and thing like that, i said that i am missing you, to which she replied i miss you too.
    she is looking for work where she is but i know that what she wants to do for work in reallity aint gonna happen, in other words shes goin to be unemployed living with her paretnts again in the freezing cold (its very warm where i live!)
    i cant get her out of my head because we never officially split up, its just that we are now living in different countries; am i foolish to think that she might come to the conclusion after being there a while that she may think the grass is never geener and life in the uk
    is pretty grim and that she may come back, and wait for her, or do i just get on with my life
    and not stay in contact anymore, i don,t know what to do, please help!

    • I am no therapist, but I personally think you should look at what the future holds. Are you eventually going to move to her, or does she tell you she is going to move to you? If you don’t know then talk to her, if neither of you are then move on now before you meet the right girl for you and can’t be with her because of your mourning over you current gf.

  • LIFE SURE CAN BE A BITCH AT TIMES! i was with my ex girlfriend for almost 2 years.. i did some things that i highly regret and payed the price! 🙁 she dumped me during the time that my mother was diagnosed with leukemia… my heart and soul was crushed… i basically did many of these mistakes trying to get her back and definitely drove her away… its been about a year and a few months and i still cant get over her 🙁 i regret it all…i think about her everyday and wish i could rewind time to avoid these mistakes… damn </3

  • I broke up with my ex twice! The first time I regretted it and we texted back and forth and ended up together again. This time I broke up for good with him and started going out with another guy right after. I still miss him and the worst part is that we work together so I have to see him everyday. He would keep our relationship a secret from everybody including his friends and family. I felt like a total embarrassment for him! Will I ever get over him!!! Super frustrated!!!

    • Anything I have read online says the no contact is exactly what it sounds like. The more you have contact with him the less likely it will end for you…

  • I did all of them except rebounding!! Its been 45 days, i did everything I can and crossed all human limits to get her back. She hates me now, she tells that I am unqualified and doesn’t match up to her standards of life!! She has moved on so fast and is happy without me. She has blocked my calls, and have threatened to go to police if I try to communicate with her. How come somebody who loved you so much can go to this opposite extremes. I have done some mistakes but she also had done similar mistakes in the past, but I had forgiven them over them but she took it to ego, self-esteem and all that. She resents me. She told “I don’t deserve her”!! Eddie, I would give anything to you if you help me get her back. I want to lead a life with her. I have repented my mistakes sincerely. I will never repeat them.

    • The only hope I think you have is to move on yourself. You are giving her healing power (as I like to call it) by even communicating. Once she realizes you’re not there anymore, she might come looking for you… but you need to get to a point where you don’t care if she does. People want what they cant have, and they want it more, the more they are told they cant have it. Just my opinion

  • I was with my ex for 1.8 years and he broke up with me around August 26, 2012. Naturally, I cried a lot, had a lot of heartache. I would have so many dreams about him because I regarded him highly and that I thought he was the one. He wasn’t a bad guy, but that decision of breaking up was what I didn’t foresee in the relationship. He told me to stay friends with him, and I agreed. Well, that was a mistake (#3 and #4).
    I saw him as this person that I felt a lot and shared with in my life. I thought we would last for a good 3-4 years/longer because of the way it was going, but tension happened in his life, he was under a great deal of stress and he knew that I wouldn’t be able to “survive” the amount of time he would have to spend away from me because I was attached. It was a hard lesson to learn, but a good one, because I finally understood after the breakup how important it is to have time apart from each other, to understand each other in a deeper, emotional level, to be emphatic.
    I made mistake #6 and went out with another guy because he charmed me into thinking that he cared for me, he would do this and that for me, I’m pretty, etc. In the end, I was told that I got used sexually. I felt betrayal, anger…no woman should be told that she was used sexually. I never really harbored romantic feelings with the guy, I stayed with him for the company…when I should be in the process of recovering from the heartbreak.
    I was meeting with my ex secretly because there were some things I disliked about this guy, no matter how happy the situation seemed. Eventually, we opened up a lot of things and got a lot of unsaid things resolved. I knew then and there that I couldn’t stay with my rebound. It was a rebound anyway…but he took it pretty hard, not talking to me ever again. My only regret was that I dated the other dude, instead of keeping him as a friend. But everyone’s human and makes mistakes. The only good end from this is that I’m back with my ex. I would hope that this will last for a long time.
    I learned a lot from my rebound relationship, grew tougher emotionally, made goals, had self-motivation. It’s a loss and a gain, there are more people, but it sucks to lose people that I am close to in that intimate way…and after reading this article, it did resonate with me. I agree that I can never see someone in the same way after knowing so many facets of them that friends wouldn’t know.
    The only problem is that I have lost that feeling of “attachment” because of fear, because I’m afraid to trust. How would I “recover” such a feeling again?

  • My girlfriend of almost two years broke up with me a week ago to the day. She was so unhappy with how everything was going she couldn’t take it any more. I know the mistakes I’ve made and I wish I could take them back; however, what hurts the most is she’s already talking to another guy. A week before she broke up with me this guy messaged her that he was moving back to her side of town, then she went out with some friends and invited him. That night she broke up with me and now she tells me that they’ve hung out several times and he took her out to dinner already. This absolutely crushed me. As if it weren’t bad enough, she couldn’t break up with me face to face but now it’s like she’s almost proud to already be moving on.

    Is there anything I can do? I’m guessing not, because she’s been quite adamant about letting me know that there’s someone else texting/calling her to say “good morning”. I want to move on and I think the only way is by not saying anything. I almost feel badly for her that she wants a change so badly she’s just jumping into the next thing without giving herself any time to recover.

    Any advice for me?

  • I was in a 5 year relationship from 18-23. I broke up with my ex 9 months ago because he got a DUI. He was very immature and irresponsible, partied and wasted his money and lied about going out. I was always the one pushing him to have goals and go back to school. However, he was the sweetest boyfriend ever he did so many cute things for me and showed me he truely did love me. he even had my name tatted! He proposed we really planned on a future together but when he got the DUI I told him I was done giving him chances and that it was over. He begged me to get back with him an promised he’d get his shit straight, but I didn’t take him back. This guy looked for me for 6 months texted, called and came over my house a few times. I really wanted to get back with him but this time it had to be different I wanted him to prove that he would do things differently. Finally, he stoppped We went 2 months without talking. I ran into his friend at the mall 2 weeks ago so I decided to tex my ex and see how he was. He told me he loved me and missed me but then later on that night I received a call from a girl he’s living with and got pregnant!!! (His friend confirmed said its true) i never heard from my ex again. My world seriously fell apart I don’t see how I’ll ever be able to get over this. Now I blame myself for not taking him back and think I was asking too much from him after all we are young! I keep wondering why he did this or whats going through his head! know it’s over forever I just can’t seem to understand what the hell happened. Please give me advice and point of views just talking about it sometimes feel good

  • I am having a really hard time getting over someone and I know they say time heals everything. It has been almost two weeks and we both are falling into many of the traps listed above. We haven’t completely cut out communication and we have made the mistake of being together twice in somewhat date setting. We are both really confused and unsure of what we should do. The main reason for breaking up is because he is not ready to settle down and although things have been great for the past year, this is both our first real relationship. We realize we have something great, but he feels as though he needs more life experiences, whether that be just learning things on his own or having another relationship with someone else. It really hurts, because he tells me he doesn’t know if he’s making the right decision, a part of him could see himself happy with me and settling down, but he just isn’t ready for that kind of commitment. It’s really hard for me to come to terms with, because I see how torn up with both are over the demise of our relationship, so I keep thinking if we are both so sad without each other, why don’t we just help ourselves out already and get back together. But then there are all these other elements and factors to consider. I love him so much and I truly do believe that love is freedom, I want him to be happy. It hurts incredibly much to think that he could be happier with someone else, but I have to be open to that possibility I don’t want to completely close myself off to the possibility either, but at this moment he is the only person I want to love. He wants to stay friends, but it is so difficult for me, we haven’t completely shut each other out and of course our communication is meaning more to me then him at this point. I just wish things could work out, at such a stand still. I know I have to let him go…..

  • Z Eustice says:

    Weightlifting has saved my life so many times. I promise it will help you, too. I
    sign up for personal training sessions so I’m expected to stick to a schedule and
    show up. It keeps me so busy after work and gives me something else to focus
    on. The dance classes help, too. You’ll feel a lot better, sleep better, and have
    more energy during the day.

    My bf was not interested in working out and I think it’s part of the reason he split.
    It took so much of my time that we couldn’t see each other. You’ll get a rockin’
    bod and improve your health so much. The benefits are too many to list.

    Sure, I feel really down sometimes but most of the time I’m too busy either
    preparing healthy food, taking supplements or making sure I’ve got workout gear
    ready to go. I am in my 40’s so don’t try the “I’m too old and tired” excuse.

    People will think you’re younger than you are.

  • Hey everyone, I have been reading a lot of the comments and it seems like I’m not the only one. I am so happy to have come accross this website, its been helping me a lot to read everyones comments.

    Here is my story if anyone could help ! I was seeing this girl for about a year and a half, 4 weeks ago she leaves me on my birthday, out all the days in the year she leaves me on my bday. Me and this girl got together after meeting at a pub, we stayed friends because she was already in a long tearm relationship, one night we were hanging out and both had too much to drink, she took me back to her place with one of her good friends, she kept flirting with me, night was great but it had to end, as I’m exciting her house with her friends she tells me to come back after walking her friend to her car. Few minutes later I end up with her back in her bed, we talked and I told her its wrong to sleep with her because she’s already with someone… So we just fooled around, I tucked her in and left her house. Few days pass and she calls me to tell me she needs to talk. So I aggreed, she tells me she’s sorry for what happened and she wanted me to tell her if we slept together, I told her we didn’t, she was the happiest girl I’ve seen ( I would never take advantage of someone when they are under the influance)…

    Then she says that she’s sorry but it would be best if we cut eachother out of our lifes, I said no problem, simply asked why, she said because she wanted to be with this guy she was seeing. I walked away and didn’t contact her for about 2 months. That’s when I receive a call, its her, she says she needs to talk, I told her no problem, let’s meet… She tells me her prince charming turned out to be a complete jerk and she also had feelings for me throughout their relationship. So I gave her a chance and stood by her side.

    We started to spend a lot of time with one another, I took her out, we went on the lake with a bottle of wine and cuddled, we opened up about everything, our deepest and darkest secrets, its like we clicked from day one and god was it perfect. She told me she felt very confortable with me and that she was able to trust me with everything, so was I, I rarely trust people but with her I just knew I could be her man and give her the trust she deserved. We were pitch perfect for one another ( well adlease I thought we were )

    The sad part of it all, with this year and a half that past we both aggreed that we would not be in a serious relationship, simply friends with benefits, I once again aggreed to it all when I should have walked away. From the first date on the lake I fell head over heals in love with her, I thought she was the one. I just never told her how I felt only told her that I was getting attached one night at my house after she woke up next to me, that’s when she lost it and told me she needed space.

    I was getting confused, didn’t know anymore, I then decided I’d stick around… Few days pass we go out for drinks and she also reveals that she had feelings for me, not only does she tell me this she also wants us to be exclusive ( I’m guessing we are pretty much dating) after that everything was pictch perfect…

    4 weeks ago, on my birthday after work a friend of mine decided to take me out to a pub for a drink, I had a few drinks and suddenly she walks in with her friends, we made plans that we would hang out later on that night but she thought I was at work but my boss let me go earlier because it was my birthday ! So I’m shooting pool and she walks in, I come up to her and say hi give her a kiss and tell ill see you later ( it never crossed my mind that I should introduce her to my best friend ) so she walks away goes and sits at a table… An hour later my friend had an emergency, he asked me if I could drive him home, so we quickly leave and I didn’t say bye to my girl because I thought I’d drive my friend back home and come back to her and spend the rest of the evening with her and her friends…

    That’s where she lost it, I receive a txt 15minutes later telling me goodbye have a good life, I end up at the bar, she is drunk out of her mind, she caused a scene and it embarrased me, I walk away and go finish my drink, she comes up to me telling me how rude it is for me not to introduce her to my friend or my parents, that she feels like a nobody to me… I tell her that I was sorry and that all she needed to do is to tell me what she wanted so I could give it to her…

    No matter how much I tried to get her back in my life for the smallest thing she refuses it… Its now been 4 weeks that I haven’t contacted her, its been the worst days of my life, I feel like total crap, I cry myself to sleep, I keep having dreams of her (last night) I can’t eat, I’m a total mess.

    I feel like I need to reach out to her and talk to her but I’m affraid she won’t bother listening to anything I have to say.
    I just wish I knew she could have told me the things that would make her first and not make me go thru this… I thought of writing her an apology later and sending her a bouquet of flowers so she can see and read how sorry I am…

    If anyone took the time to read all of this, please help and tell me what I should do… I find life unfair sometimes, I’m a goodlooking guy that always thinks to make others happy before myself, I give generously and I care for people. I feel like I’ve done something wrong that god has to punish me this way.

    Before bed I pray to god to take this pain away, its been the hardest few weeks.

    Please help :::: (

    Writing all this down kind of helped me…

    • Bless you. You’re a good guy, I’m sorry to say that she isn’t a good girl, but an incredibly selfish one that seems to be a bit of a tramp. Sorry to say that about someone you care about but it’s true.

      The best thing to do is for you to realise that you are worth more, much more. You deserve to be treated better. Pick yourself up, stand tall and don’t waste another minute on this girl. Look at the way she’s treating you. And it’s you who is allowing it.

      The right girl will come along and she will be caring, honest, sensitive and treat you with respect. Don’t be with anyone that makes you feel bad or treats you badly. You have a lot of love to give, don’t waste it on her.

      Click your fingers right now, stand up straight, take a deep breath and realise that the only person thats making you feel bad right now…is you! You’re wasting time, energy and your health wallowing in what is really just self pity for a girl who isn’t intelligent enough to care for anyone but herself. Break the cycle and move on. Onwards and upwards and I wish you an amazing life full of real love and happiness.

      Love from London, UK

      R.A xxx

  • well i just got “dumped” for another guy from miss harley . i cant believe that after all of the nice cards and gift cards there. i dont know ? about women now . i feel like dead meat !! i have a really nice job waiting for me this year to share with her .but now this .. cmon ugh .. now to look and live ..thanks .

  • did all of them… some 4 years back!!

  • Okay, she did block me. Oh gosh, this is so demeaning!!!!! We were together for over a year and every time we got into an argument we would make up and text back and forth and I guess I just thought it would work this time. But, it didnt. I feel so STUPID!!!!!!!!!!! Why couldnt I have the will power not to text her. Oh well. I guess the NC is going to work now. Ugh!!!!!!!!!! I want to crawl in a hole and hide.

  • chinamarie1 says:

    My ex of 4 years on again off again,…I just found out everytime we were off he was running to his high school girl friend…hes 28….He begged me to have a child with him,,,when i spoke to her I found out he named our daughter her name….I quit my government job for him gave him a child and tattooed his name on my back. And a week before Christmas he put me and our baby out of his house in the rain to go be with his high school sweetheart…..Im dying over here. I turned my back on all my friends and family for him. He secluded me from everyone and now I have nothing not even him….I do have my beautiful daughter and Im happy I have her but my life is just torn apart im so hurt

    • Wow I can’t imagine what ur going through!!! I know nothing I say will make u feel better but hang in there life is seriously a blessing and even though I know u think ull never get over it… I’ve been reading so much about depression and what to do after a hard breakup and it just takes time! U have a child who u have to think about forget him!

  • chinamarie1 says:

    Ok I have made all of these mistakes and more….My question to you is….He keeps leaving me than after a month or so he comes back crying he misses me and hes sorry and I fall for it every time….BTW hes leaving me to go sleep with his high school girlfriend that uses him for sex and money…..I know this because I spoke to her….We now have a 1 yo daughter that he names after her,,,,I didnt know until I spoke to her,,,,He put me and my daughter out in the rain a week before christmas to be with her,,,,Im so hurt…I have his name tattoed on my back I quit my government job for him….Im just so lost…I do not want to go back again.

  • ok.OMG . i keep writting msg’s to my ex on facebook lols. its so emberassing, his new girlfriend blocked me, so i used another facebook account, just to write him why he didnt even wished me a happnewear and wh he’s not responding, when we should be friends..OMG i’m soo emberassed LMAO

  • How I wish I’d read this 3 months ago! I’ve made every single mistake and worse. Now I’m struggling with my own behaviour, hating myself. Totally humiliated myself, how I wish I’d walked gracefully away with my head held high and not looked back 🙁

    • Don’t beat yourself up… you did what you had to do and sometimes we are not very proud of it.

      Just make a fresh start into your recovery… it’s never too late for that.

  • disqus_cpm2UC4VnK says:

    Hey everyone ,
    my story is alot like everyone elses i had met a beautiful woman overseas and found out she lived nearby, after 2 years apart we finally started writing on facebook and managed to meet up..
    we started out all good and realised we both truly loved each other alot and new it was meant to be… i new she was a great chick but i was a selfish idiot and did not pay her the attention i should of.. after 7 months together she broke it off…
    the very next few days i realised i had lost a great chick and told her i would change(because i really wanted too) anyway we would chat every now and then and then i had some really bad issue in my life( best friend died, i was diagnosed with a tumour) anyway after 2-3 months being on my bed i never heard from her,, we did fight before i went in for operation and i had told her i dont want her near me while i am down and feeling any pity from anyone especially her ..
    anyway we bumpt into each other 1 months after the operation and straight away we started texting and that led into meeting up and having sex again…. we started having sex every few days. but she told me she had booked a holiday for 4 months to europe..
    she was having a family wedding and doing some getaway ,
    well while she was away we spoke all the time and i was always contacting and pushing her and we were starting to plan buying a house and starting a family.. well after a month away we started fighting (mainly because i missed her )
    anyway 3 weeks before she came home she told me it was over..
    she arrived home 3 weeks ago and i sent flowers and a card but heard nothing.. 1 week later we bumpt into each other and she said thanks for the flowers but no hard feelings.. anyway later that night i sent text and we started talking for an hour i pleaded and begged her back but she was very adamant and said she does not want it..
    after numerous texts and emails and calls she would not respond
    i do love this woman very much but we fought alot and we are both stubborn… we both have said in the past we have a bond that draws each other back and we are obsessed with each other..
    anyway during the last phone call i said we have a bond and she replied. not no more… i was shocked… and saddened to hear her say that
    anyway i called her the next day and said is there any love for me in you..
    she replied i loved you before i went away and whilst i was away but 3 weeks before coming home i realised i was happier on my own..
    i said thank you for giving me closure and i hung up.
    i stopped talking to her and went in NC for 12 days.. until again we bumped into each other.. i loved her and she looked beautiful but i knew as we were in the same sporting club she was talking with other mutual friends about her holiday and we both knew we were crushed by seeing each other again..
    i said goodbye to everyone and ignored her and left..
    2 hours later she contacted me and said she has 2 things of mine..
    i told her to post it so we dont need to cross paths and open up the wounds i feel..
    after that she texted me abusive texts about me being an asshole through the whole relationship.. and i texted back equal ones about her keeping me hanging on before she left and using me for sex and keeping me on a string waiting for 4 months whilst away,

    anyway we fought through texts for 4 hours and then it stopped by me telling her to leave me alone and stop contacting me, she replied sweet no worries..
    then i woke up the next morning and wrote a pissed of text..
    back on again for 3 hours fighting then she said she is changing her number and 2 hours later i rang her and it was disconected..
    that was this morning.
    i feel saddened by after 9 months of this we have come down to this and gues what everyone
    i still think in my head if she walked in that door i would grab her by the waist and kiss her and be like we were before..
    but now she has changed her number and told me she wont be going to teh same sporting club because i was there.
    i think she is hurting just as bad as me otherwise she would not start replying to texts and i have pushed again too far because i love her soo much and wanted to start a family..
    anyway guys and gals..
    i have done everything on the list except rebound .. i dont want to be with anyone else.. although i would love a hug and some playtime in the bed to feel loved again..i dont think running off to any woman would help me because i miss her smell and her smile..
    i am heartbroken because we play teh same sports and her friends and mine are gonnna cross paths soon maybe a month or two…
    and i know deep down if she is with someone we played sports with in the past it will kill me alot..
    anythoughts on my messed up life at the moment..
    i wished there was a forum we could all talk and share things
    Heartbroken

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