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How To Break Up With Your Girlfriend… NOT

The main problem when breaking up with someone is how to make it painless for the other person. There are some basic things to consider on how to break up gracefully, but there is one fundamental truth you have to accept: there is no painless way to do it.

Knowing this of course does not mean that it doesn’t matter how you break up – for instance breaking up with someone the “cruel way”.

That’s definitely not recommended.

You always have to keep in mind: once you’ve decided to discontinue the relationship, (I’ve shown you how to decide this), this relationship is over for you. Keeping up the relationship after making this decision is not fair, against all rules and simply a waste of time.

So, once you are certain, you have to find a way to let the person know:

  • that it’s absolutely over
  • that you are absolutely serious
  • that there is no doubt about it
  • that there’s no way back

BUT, and this is the difficulty, you have to be graceful and sensitive.

The only way to accomplish that successfully is to distance yourself from the person you have been for your partner in your relationship. Or, to put it another way, be different than you were during your relationship BUT in a graceful and sensitive way.

Also, please avoid some common platitudes like, “we can still be friends” or “if it’s meant to be then we’ll get back together again… some day”. This is not helpful.

Remember, the best favor you can do your partner when breaking up is to not leave the slightest doubt that it’s over (again: be nice).

If you want an example how NOT to do it, check out the following video (please keep in mind that this is very exaggerated and meant to make you laugh!):

Very funny… or maybe not for all of us?

I’m pretty sure that there are some guys in the world that have actually dumped their girlfriends in a similar way to this, but I also know that a “normal”, sensitive guy who cares for the ex-partner would NEVER, ever do it in such a cruel way.

So watch that video and have a good laugh, and let it remind you that you have a responsibility to make a graceful clean break if you have decided to break up.

Do this for the good of your ex-partner, and for you on your journey towards being a better person.

Your friend,

Eddie Corbano

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10 Responses to How To Break Up With Your Girlfriend… NOT

  1. Sara March 22, 2008 at 11:52 pm #

    Oh so true. There is no painless way to do it. But thank you for pointing out some of the nicer (and funnier) ways.

  2. Girlcop April 28, 2008 at 7:53 pm #

    That vid is pretty funny! I read a great quote about gracefully ending a relationship: “It also should give you comfort knowing that you treated him with all the respect and honor that someone you used to love deserves.”

    Good luck everybody!

  3. Mike F April 12, 2009 at 3:15 am #

    Funny video, but sometimes guys have the opposite problem — they’re TOO sensitive to their partner’s feelings. This is often the case for a co-dependent relationships: The guy (or girl) wants to leave, but he feels too responsible for the girl’s feelings, and he knows that she’ll go berserk if he tries to leave.

  4. David L January 14, 2010 at 8:49 am #

    I have a major problem I am in a relationship with a girl who is in a relationship with someone else. I do not want to be in the relationship any more and want to move. There is only one major problem with this other then the other guy and that is that I am a nice guy and do want to make it as painless as possible. We have had many problems in the past with this relationship that have never been worked out and we live together. I know that there is nothing else that this relationship can do for either of us and it will be more painful for us to stay in it but I just can not bring my self to break up I need some major help please help if you can.

  5. LoveHurts January 16, 2010 at 2:31 am #

    By off and on boyfreind and i finally broke up . I didnt want to be in this off and on relationship but i was in cuz i didnt want to lose him. Each time when we were off, he went out to seek for other girls. When it didnt work out, he came back to me. This is the 15th times that I’ve allowed him to do this to me. Enough is enough I want to move on but i love him so much. Today he confirmed me that he’s seeing this one girl and that I should move on too. What do I do? I feel like my world has come to an end.
    I havent gone out of the house for a week now. I havent eaten anything and im tired. I want to love on but I don’t know anyone here. HELP ME PLEASEEEEEE 🙁

  6. Charity March 23, 2010 at 4:47 am #

    These comments are very helpfull I was with a boy for about almost four years and it seems like I’m never going to get over him it’s like I try and take to steps forward and then he pushes 4steps back so…… Really I’m confused

  7. climsy August 1, 2012 at 4:06 pm #

    I proposed love to her on the first saturday of our college year ,that is about 2yrs ago , she told she had a boyfriend and i persuaded her, but later left her but the truth is i was madly in love with her and wanted to do everything to get her..surprisingly she bounced bak to me and told me we could go out in about 3months time,i was the happiest guy on earth, we made love , we supported each other then i realised she was sleeping with his ex..am so down , i want to break up! please help me.

  8. him June 15, 2016 at 4:00 am #

    Been with her for 10 years. I have full custody of my daughter 14yo. Those two are very close. She has taken over the parenting. Many times I disagree with what has happened yet I stay nothing. We rent our house from her boss. My child has everything she wants and needs. Exept my full attention. I’ve been in love with a women for over three years…I want our life together. Problem is telling the one I live with. She does everything for my daughter…I would think she would still want to be in her life as that’s the only mom she has ever known….I don’t want to distroy my daughter. If I leave and move on with the women I truly love this would make everyone give up a house we live in. I feel bad to do this to us all. I know she could not afford it on her own.she barly works as it is. To Make things worse. When my girlfiends ( the one I live with) her dad died five years ago I promised to take care of here. So whenever I give a hint on leaving she brings up the promise to her dad and I will have to leave my child with her…she says if I leave it will damage my daughter. My daughter has been around the women I love and she had the best time….until the roomate ( girlfriend) went thru my daughter’s phone and seen pics . she lost it…said no one is taking her daughter from her….the years flow for hours and I feel bad……..however I want out. Im in love with another women and have to do this before she leaves me. I have let it go so long she wants no more excuses from me…..I say I can’t right now….I don’t know what to do.

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