The main problem when breaking up with someone is how to make it painless for the other person. There are some basic things to consider on how to break up gracefully, but there is one fundamental truth you have to accept: there is no painless way to do it.
Knowing this of course does not mean that it doesn’t matter how you break up – for instance breaking up with someone the “cruel way”.
That’s definitely not recommended.
You always have to keep in mind: once you’ve decided to discontinue the relationship, (I’ve shown you how to decide this), this relationship is over for you. Keeping up the relationship after making this decision is not fair, against all rules and simply a waste of time.
So, once you are certain, you have to find a way to let the person know:
- that it’s absolutely over
- that you are absolutely serious
- that there is no doubt about it
- that there’s no way back
BUT, and this is the difficulty, you have to be graceful and sensitive.
The only way to accomplish that successfully is to distance yourself from the person you have been for your partner in your relationship. Or, to put it another way, be different than you were during your relationship BUT in a graceful and sensitive way.
Also, please avoid some common platitudes like, “we can still be friends” or “if it’s meant to be then we’ll get back together again… some day”. This is not helpful.
Remember, the best favor you can do your partner when breaking up is to not leave the slightest doubt that it’s over (again: be nice).
If you want an example how NOT to do it, check out the following video (please keep in mind that this is very exaggerated and meant to make you laugh!):
Very funny… or maybe not for all of us?
I’m pretty sure that there are some guys in the world that have actually dumped their girlfriends in a similar way to this, but I also know that a “normal”, sensitive guy who cares for the ex-partner would NEVER, ever do it in such a cruel way.
So watch that video and have a good laugh, and let it remind you that you have a responsibility to make a graceful clean break if you have decided to break up.
Do this for the good of your ex-partner, and for you on your journey towards being a better person.