Top Menu

How To Defy The Distance In A Long Distance Relationship

This is a guest post by Frank & Michelle of LovingFromADistance.

Photograph by Tonyç

You have a relationship with someone sweet and kind. They know you, and care for you deeply. That is great! Unfortunately, you feel that distance is the only thing keeping your “Long Distance Relationship” from being a “Long Relationship.”

Not so great.

Phone calls help, and so does instant messaging. Maybe that webcam you use every once and a while makes it seem like your boyfriend/girlfriend is right there with you while you surf the internet. Even as you use these great marvels of technology, it is still clear that you are separated by distance.

So what are you going to do? Talk on the phone more?

No, the phone was invented because people were far away. The mere fact that it exists reminds you that you are separated. The same thing goes for the webcam, too. You do not normally use a webcam with your neighbor.

Some of you might say right now, “Well, there goes half of what we do to communicate.” And as you all know, communication is paramount to a successful relationship. The key to shrinking that feeling of separation in the relationship is to do activities that non-LDR couples do – just modified.

Quick, name the typical date for two people that live in the same town. I bet most of you said going to the movies. Guess what you next date is with your significant other: movie date.

The first step would be to make sure you have a date night. A night where you try to keep open every week, or every other week, where you can give each other full attention for a period of time (A long distance relationship needs some regularity to it; a date night is one of those regular things which provides you something that you may look forward to).

Now, pick a movie. Rent one, find one (legally) online, borrow a friend’s. Just make sure that you have the same type of copy. Do not have a downloaded copy if your girlfriend has the actual DVD.

Now, pop some popcorn or make some nachos, and start the movie at the exact same time. Call them up and say, “One, two, three, start!” You can keep the phone on during the movie if you like to talk to each other during the movie, or not. You just had a movie date. The only difference was that you could not see your boyfriend/girlfriend.  So, to take care of that, turn on your webcam. Now you can watch them and the movie at the same time.

If you said dinner and a movie when I asked what a typical date was, you can do that too.

Cook the same thing or order the same take-out. I have even heard of a boyfriend surprising his girlfriend by ordering delivery food without her knowing. He ordered the same food for himself from his local restaurant as well.

Have plenty of pictures of you and your partner together. That way, you can look at your wall and remember the last time you were together.

I know plane flights are expensive and some of you have never met. No problem: edit some pictures so it looks like you were together. Take a picture of yourself with your arms out, and have your boyfriend take a picture of them (facing the correct direction) with their arms out, then Photoshop, MSPaint, scissors and glue. Then, as an added bonus, recreate that picture when you do meet.

So what if you never have actually touched them, you can see what it will look like. You can almost imagine it. You can almost feel it.

The way to eliminate the distance is to pretend like there is no distance.

Use your imagination.

Come up with new and clever ways to turn your “Long Distance Relationship” into a “Long Relationship.”

13 Responses to How To Defy The Distance In A Long Distance Relationship

  1. Dirk February 28, 2009 at 8:48 am #

    Thank you very much for this article.

    I like your idea of a movie date, if you keep your phone on it’s almost like watching it together side by side.

    • Pam August 29, 2014 at 7:49 pm #

      I googled long distance reationships and found you..What a great idea…Doing date night and things..My guy is in Delaware I am in Michigan. We do have plans to be together in the near future..We talk daily and text all the time..But have never did a date night. We have meet once so far and it was awesome. We are both a bit older so I guess these ideas never came to us..Thank you so much…

  2. Megan March 4, 2009 at 9:52 pm #

    Hey,
    I recently have started talking to a guy I used to know in highschool. We’ve been sparingly talking for about 2 or 3 months now, but just these past two weeks we started really getting to know eachother again. After reading some of your articles on long-distance relationships I’ve realized I need to tell him I have begun to like him, but I had brought up going to see him and he was really excited. I just wanted to know, is it too soon?
    Thank in advance

  3. lisa March 17, 2009 at 2:28 am #

    hello,
    the movie is a super cute idea! I was in a long distance relationship for 2 years… its all about being creative and coming with ways to enjoy the time apart.
    http://www.coupledtogether.com has a blog with great long distance relationship advice 🙂

  4. A little sad April 15, 2009 at 9:08 pm #

    It took me 5 months to get my LDR to understand that we need to communicate more regularly. Sometimes he could go for 5-6 days without contacting me at all. It is an 8h time difference between us and I tried to use this excuse to justify the lack of communication until I simply exploded. Thigs have finally changed and he finally gets the message. Not sure why it has taken him 5 months to finally listen. This is a wonderful idea to watch a movie together at the same time, but If we can’t communicate on a daily basis how on earth are we going to watch a move together? Why am I doing this exactly?? and why is HE doing this? I have never been this confused in my entire life. Please help someone.

  5. adam July 10, 2009 at 8:26 am #

    jesus christ this is the saddest article i’ve ever read. i just got out of a LDR. She was in New York and I was in LA. We held on for two years. Now she’s going to MIami for another 3 years – I can’t leave LA because of my career. This article depresses me because it’s literally saying the key to a LDR is pretending like there is no distance, saying clearly that LDR is inferior to the real thing (which it is). I was in love with this girl, and it killed me to end it, but LDR is an inherently unhappy way to live.

  6. Chels August 2, 2009 at 4:00 pm #

    @adam

    Adam, I don’t think the article is depressing. It is just realistic. If you focus on the distance and define your relationship by the distance, then you will not survive it. You have to make the most of it and do what you can to “minimize” the distance so you can actually feel like you are a part of each others lives.

  7. Shaka Asif November 5, 2009 at 1:12 pm #

    ‘Lisa’, i agree. It’s all about trying to make the most of the situation and enjoying the time apart. Think of the opportunities an LDR creates!!

  8. pro1975 April 18, 2010 at 7:25 am #

    i have a question been dating my boyfriend i have known for years we just reconnected 5 months ago things have been great we have fallen in loe all over again the problem is he lives 3 1/2 hrs away we see each other when we can. now were a little more quiet on the phone he says this is because we are comfortable is this true i just have never had a good relationship like this what can i do? he tells me all the time how he loves me and how much he is in love with me i miss him so much and i just hope hes not lying to me

  9. singles June 4, 2010 at 6:57 pm #

    Age doesn't protect you from love. But love, to some extent, protects you from age.” – Jeanne Moreau
    online dating

  10. long distance relationship June 17, 2011 at 6:46 am #

    HI,

    Its very interesting article guys and it can help people to cloes their long distnace  relationship.

    Thanks

  11. long distance relationship July 8, 2011 at 9:18 am #

    HI, 

    Its really very useful article guys. 

    Well work guys. 

    Thanks

  12. Landa September 11, 2013 at 7:13 am #

    Hi, I’m in LDR right now, and its going great!! My boyfriend came to visit for 3 weeks and lived with me through out his visit. I love him so much!! We talk everyday and Skype everyday. I would say we are in love. It’s my turn to visit him, but he has made up his mind to move near me. The Thing that is bothering me is that he has stop looking for jobs out where I live. I have stop asking him, but he says how much he loved living with me and California. He has made a list of things he would like to do as far as jobs, and I even told him that I would move to VA. He tells me that I need to save my money because he will be in California soon. I’m really missing him and I trust him and he trust me. I know this will work, and we tell each other how lucky we are to find each other. I do have friends that tell me that this will not work, but I don’t see how it can’t. We keep ourselves posted on our daily lives and I know that we will see each other soon. I’m happy I read this article because I have been feeling that it won’t work because we live so far from each other. I believe that I need to trust he cares and loves me. He proves that everyday by keeping me up to date on his daily life and I do the same with him. I see myself married to this man and we talked about getting married. My LDR will work!!

Leave a Reply