Comments on: Is It OK To Snoop In Your Partner’s Email?

By: Jon Hacc

Jon Hacc — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 06:40:00 +0000

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By: Jon Hacc

Jon Hacc — Sun, 22 Apr 2012 06:39:00 +0000

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By: KAVU

KAVU — Mon, 27 Dec 2010 06:13:00 +0000

I was snooped on by a new girlfriend. She read my texts and my emails. I had been in contact with an ex girlfriend that I never intended to go back to, just someone that was important to me and I wanted to remain friends with. The new girlfriend made assumptions about what I wanted from the ex that were completely wrong. She became very insecure and considers the emails as cheating. What she doesn’t understand is that if she never snooped, I would never have gone back to the ex, and would be more in love with the new girlfriend because I would trust her. There was nothing to know and nothing to find out. Everyone you meet is going to have a history. It will work out the way it is supposed to, snooping is just trying to control the outcome.

By: guest

guest — Wed, 20 Oct 2010 08:49:29 +0000

I think for me by the time I am having to snoop, it is time to really evaluate the relationship. I went to far as to go in the house of my ex when he was not home and snoop. Standing in the middle of his house my thoughts were almost audible..”by the time your doing something this crazy, it's time to move on”. Which I did.

By: Jef3sid

Jef3sid — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 16:27:55 +0000

Thank God my mother found my wifes facebook password laying out in the open, I would have never known or believed my parents suspicions that my wife was cheating. This article is a crock. You should have nothing to hide.

By: Loveisthelaw20042004

Loveisthelaw20042004 — Mon, 27 Sep 2010 07:37:59 +0000

I have lied (wrongly) out of being embarased about my past. I also lied to my gf about looking at porn for fear of her reaction. She found out through snooping which is fucked up. But because I lied Im the bad guy right?

By: VinnieMarlboro

VinnieMarlboro — Sun, 22 Aug 2010 18:51:55 +0000

100% J. This is how trusting- nay -stupid I am/was. Our phone bill went up gradually. The average bill was around $100 a month. In 3 months it was $450 a month and I was only getting the front page – ie no itemising because the phone company wasnt sending them??? Yet for the past 15 years they always came. When I asked her what was going on the first time, her reply was she was using the mobile phone alot as we were moving towns and she had been contacting the real estate agent and banks etc. No worries I say. Then we move and the bill gets to its highest. I then say again'What are u doing on the phone?' The reply – I'm texting my boss @ work. She had a new job, Asst Principal in a school and had built a great friendship with her boss(also a lady). Part of our phone contract was you could call 3 numbers for 3 minutes for free. I suggested she take my number off that and put her bosses on. Cant do that, cant call her when I'm in class teaching, have to text.
To cut a long story short, I leave it all alone and the next bill does decrease. A cpl of weeks later we need something bought over from the town we moved from. No worries she says I'll get it done. Then I ask a cpl of days later who is bringing it over. A male friend of hers from this town is coming over on Friday and said he will bring it. That's a bit strange I thought, I didnt even know you were in contact with him. I'm then @ home and our email was not working correctly. I register through our provider for online access to our email through their website. As it happens, our phone company is the same. I then have the records of all the text messaging. The phone number, when and how many. 1500 to this 1 number in 3 months!! Including some at 2am in the morning when she was away at a family gathering. I then ask if her bosses number ended in the same 3 numbers, showed her the log of texts and how silly it really looks(not to mention expensive – that was my initial concern). Yeah thats her number. Yet again I trust her and forget it. After this questioning, things really went down hill fast for us. Like I mean quickly. She withdrew from my immediatley and asked for a trial separation with in days. WTF was going on here? We move to a new town, new house and 6 weeks later shes booting me out. I then knew someting was up. Temptation got to me and I ring the number – needless to say it was not her boss. She maintains there was nothing physical, just a friendship. It equated to 30 txt msgs a day to this 1 person over 3 months. I call that an emotional affair – just as bad as a physical one. It took along time to get over this, she was just unable to tell the truth and kept a secret from her husband. This was detremental to our relationship to no end. I never saw an actual msg, so to this day I have no idea of what they were saying to each other, but to me it was a 3rd person in our marriage without 1 of us(me) knowing. As it turns out, later on after I had moved out for our 'trial' I made most of the mistakes Eddie has written about not making which really killed us off. A few weeks later I was baby sitting the kids at now her house one day and went through the garbage bin – low and behold the phone bill – itemised and all. When she arrived home I asked her if she was still in contact with this individual – no was reply. According to the phone records, as I'm reversing out the driveway @1.03pm( I remember the time) with her oldest child in the car helping his dad move out of the family home – you guessed it – the first call she makes is to him!! and subsequently rings him everyday for the rest of the month-And she still denies it even though I have the proof right in front of her! I'm the first to admit that snooping/stalking is a bad thing to do and I'm not proud of my actions, but I feel without doing it I'd never of got to the truth and woken up to what was really happening – she didnt trust me enough to tell me. She knew what she was doing was wrong but couldnt confess and therefore kept secrets which ultimatley destroyed our marriage. I had no concerns with her privacy as I did not really want to see what they were saying to each other, the mere fact she could not tell me that she was communicating with this bloke at these levels which was the killer. It was then very difficult to believe anything she was saying after this – compulsive lying is a term which comes to mind. We were together for 15 years and after that long, you get to know when someone is hiding something – behavioural patterns are a dead giveaway. When these all of a sudden change, be very wary. Hindsight is a wonderful thing, I think if I had realised that something was up earlier perhaps we could of sorted something out on a more positive note rather than smashing apart what was a wonderful family.
PS – the bloke she was 'friends' with is a serial player and has broken up at least 1 other marriage that I know about. At that stage he was engaged to be married. hmmmm!

By: Butifulamy76

Butifulamy76 — Fri, 30 Jul 2010 20:45:04 +0000

I too am addicted to snooping. Every time I tell myself that I'm going to stop, I do, but only for a while. It happens every year and I want to quit. Well, recently, I didn't want to snoop, but he had just left his cell on the bed and I saw the light flashing that he got a message. So, as curious as I was, I opened it up, and sure enough, his supposedly BFF of 7 months had texted him “Hi Cutie Pie. I just want to say 143″. Was it wrong to snoop or what should I do? He has kajillion times told me that there is nothing physically going on with the 2 of them, but that they like each other a lot. Oh yeah, she's also married. Please advice?

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Thu, 15 Jul 2010 10:58:19 +0000

My now ex-boyfriend and I had shared passwords, etc.. over the years we were together. There was a girl he knew whom I always suspected had a thing for him. We talked about my feelings and he swore there was nothing there on his end. Close to the end of our relationship I did the worst and snooped in his social network account. Turns out there really was nothing there.. but god, I felt so awful after snooping. I owned up to him right after we broke up and told him he needed to change his passwords… there by removing the possibility of me being weak and snooping again. It wasn't fun telling him I snooped but in the long run it was the right thing to do — for me and for him.

Long story short… I know the temptation is there (I've felt it) but trust me, it's not worth it. You will feel horrible and the author is right that its a sign of mistrust in your relationship. For me it was also a symptom of my own insecurities and how they manifested and helped cut down the solid base of my relationship.

By: JB

JB — Thu, 08 Jul 2010 16:10:33 +0000

hi NH,

im sorry for what happened to you. the same exact thing pretty much happened to me also… i dated this guy on & off for over 2 years. we weren't officially together when i hacked into his e-mail. i found e-mails from another girl. and they were e-mailing back & forth saying things like “babe i love you” and “i miss you babe” too. and when i read all those e-mails, i felt as though my mind was spinning out of control and i had a hard time breathing… it was absolutely HEART-BREAKING. =/

i'm glad we both found out, because the truth will set us free.