Ninety-eight percent of all people going through a breakup make these terrible mistakes that prolong their healing substantially.
Some of these mistakes are simply part of the healing process and are important experiences to be made (for example, breaking the No-Contact Rule once and facing the devastating consequences — a mistake never to be made again).
However, there are three fatal mistakes that you should avoid like the plague.
3 Fatal Mistakes That Sabotage Your Recovery
1. The “Let’s Stay Friends” Trap
I’ve talked about this so many times over the years. But I get it. You want to stay close to them, you fear losing them for good, being “friends” will at least keep them around, right?
What this will do is rob you of the little power you have left.
They WILL treat you as a friend, so are you prepared for that?
They may tell you about their new life and keep you informed about new relationships. I ask again, are you prepared for that?
All you will do is keep chasing a person who doesn’t exist anymore. And you will keep having one disappointment after another.
It will wear you out emotionally.
But there’s a perfect solution to all of this, and it’s called following the “No-Contact Rule,” as I teach it.
2. Dating / Rebounding Immediately After the Breakup
Trying to escape the pain and filling this emotional void with another relationship immediately won’t help you either.
It will only make you painfully realize that this is NOT what you’ve been looking for, and hurt another person in the process.
Why not try filling this emotional gap with something else? Which brings me to …
3. Not Addressing the “Identity Loss”
I’ve already talked about the identity loss that occurs after a breakup and the danger of being “too far gone.”
This is the first thing you must concentrate on right after you succeed in following the No-Contact Rule (for 60 days) or maybe even during.
What makes you tick?
What energizes you?
What is your life purpose?
These are questions that should lead you directly to who you really are.
And once you know, you will also learn what your non-negotiable needs are, needs that you must not neglect during future relationships because they define WHO you are.
This isn’t always easy to accomplish, but once you know who you are, what your values and needs are, your relationships will improve exceptionally (and so will your fear of being alone forever!).
Conclusion: How to Bulletproof Your Heart
So what does it all mean? What’s the new way you promised me on how to get over a breakup?
The new way is the complete healing approach:
Not just a quick fix that make the pain go away temporarily, but a sustainable way that will prevent future breakups from happening by strategically resolving all the pain you’re feeling right now.
A way that will bulletproof your heart by getting YOURSELF back and NOT your Ex.
Take a shortcut, heal partially, and you WILL find yourself in the same situation again very soon.
Maybe that’s the way it’s been your whole life?
It’s time to BREAK this cycle. It’s time to solve this problem once and for all.
You shouldn’t spend one more minute in a “limbo-state,” but start your recovery immediately.
If you’re serious about wanting to break free from your Ex and heal sustainably, let’s take this to the privacy of your inbox. There are some things I just can’t reveal or talk about in “public.”
I usually charge $150 an hour to my one-on-one coaching clients, but if you want to use this breakup to change your life, let me know your email address and I will walk you through the first steps of your recovery, which I have taught to thousands of people since I started out in 2005.
Here’s what you will learn in the next few daily emails IF you decide to join my email list:
- a solution you won’t like but that will eliminate 90 percent of the problems you have right now.
- how to stop the continual over-thinking and obsessing over your Ex 24/7.
- how to drastically speed up your healing time by months, often years.
- how to resolve the “hidden pain-points.”
- how 60-year-old Mario got over his Ex and climbed Mount Everest.
If you choose to take my help, all you need to do is enter your email, and hit the orange button (no cost, no obligation):
Your friend and coach,
Creator of the DETOX System and founder of LovesAGame.com