Now, (6years later) we dont talk anymore, he cheated on me twice and even after i found out he continued to cheat with the same girls.

Broke my Heart for the very first time….

HOWEVER: now im older, more mature. one of my bestfriends was tellin me about this guy who wanted to meet me so i asked her some things about him and her response was “Hes an ugly white boy with a really nice car” haha, what am i supposed to think about that?

so he eventually talked to me on my screen name and he kept asking if he would come see me, pick me up, go to the beach, have a few beers, hang out, anything just to see me… & i kept blowing him off

so this one particular time he asked if we could hang out the next day and i felt bad repetively blowin him off so i pt it in a nice way by saying “Maybee, ask me tomorow…;”

but i guess he was a step ahead of me… instead of asking me in the morning, he asked my bestfriend if her and would go with him and hang out. so my bestfriend called me and told me he was on his way to get us. i had no choice but to see him.

so we hung out. he brought me to Narriganset Bay. and slowly as we were hanging out i started to like him more and more.

what really trigger’d me to start liking him was because he was outgoing, he was funny, we seen eye to eye on alot of things… it just seemed like everything was clicking together and i couldnt understand how. and he blew me away when he seen me shivering whie we were sitting on the wall near the beach and he took his sweater off, wrapped it around me, and put his arms around me… INFRONT of one of his (boyz) and my bestfriend.

after a couple weeks we finnaly told each other we loved each other. and from there on out it was like i was his everything and he was mine too

i wasnt physically attracted to him but my feelings for him continued to get deeper and deeper. like there was no end to my emotion. i never felt anything like it before and it scared the hell out of me!

we started dating, he picked me up pretty much every day and we’d go out or go to a friends house and have a few drinks. we were always doing something TOGETHER.

2 months after this whole fairy tale feeling, he started to ignore me… stopped calling, stopped coming by. It was like he never exsisted. one minute hes always by my side, next minute he was never around.

he called me a week after ignoring me, we talked for about an hour he was telling me about a problem he had and what was gong on.. but wat scared me was he kept saying “im sorry”…… “Im so sorry”

then i pulled myself together and said “why do u keep saying sorry to me?” and he sighed & said “your gonna hate me” my heart sunk as i prepared my emotion for a break down.

he had told me that he was loosing his house and he had to move back in with his ex girlfriend of 1 &1/2 years and that was the reason he hasnt been keeping in touch with me or seeing me.

i lost my mind, i have never been so heart broken my entire life. i felt like someone just cut my chest open grabbed my heart and ripped 3/4 of it out of me.

i got depressed, stopped eating, i suffered insomnia, i pulled away from everyone including my family. i hated my bestfriend for introducing me to him even though it wasnt her fault that i fell in love. the only person i would talk to was the friend that he brought along with us to narriganset bay.

he became my bestfriend. he wa the only one who made me smile, or came over just to hang out or pick me up to get my mind off of things. mind you this was my ex’s BEST FRIEND.

so me and his bestfriend were always talkin n laughin he was like the highlight of my day cause he was the only one who could make me smile. but something happen that shouldnt have happend…

we mixed our friendship with emotions and started dating, he met my mother and some family, introduced me to his parents and sister.

it was like the perfect little relationship starting (or as i called it a pre mini marraige lol) so after things started going good for us i hit a big ass stone wall… my ex called me and asked if he could swing by n pick me up for a few just to talk to me…

now of course i loved him still, he was my first true love whom i never wanted to give up in the first place. so i snuck behind my bf’s back to see my ex and we all started hanging out and everytime id walk away from my bf into a drfferent room my ex would follow me and sneak me kisses, or tell me he missed me..

my heart was starting to feel torn considering i just started a healthy relationship with his bestfriend… then one night my ex called me, it was about 4:00am and he was still at his friends house drinking and what not and he asked me a personal question about me and his bestfriend. he asked if we had slept together.

i tried to avoid the question but i ended up just answering it and told him yes i have and the moment i answered him i regreted it so soo soooo much. he started calling me all these horrible names and puttting me down and laughing with his drunk friend

never talked to me again after that. so me and his best friend continued dating and everything was goin good for us but for some reson i had to ask my ex something that would make us or break us. i sent it in a myspace message and he replied back with derogatory terms towards me and fowarded the message to my bf (his bestfriend).

that night my bf broke up with me, my ex stopped talking to me. . . once again i was hurt.. but this time instead of loosing just 1 thing i lost 2, i lost my bf (who was my comfort and bestfriend) and i lost my ex for a 2nd time. i felt so foolish.

how ever. me and my recent ex boyfriend remained good friends, and me and my other ex just stopped talking. we didnt talk for about….. 4 or months.

last week i was online and i seen him on and i figured id try talkin to him, cause i mean, really could it get any worse? i was at the bottom of bottoms i was at lowest terms with him.

to my surprise, he replied with “he whats up” and “what are you doing tonight?”

he ended up picking me up, we went had a few drinks, he took me to the movies, we grabbed a bite to eat, and he payed for the whole night.

and for once we werent arguing, we were laughing, jokin around, we actually had a good time, and as he dropped me off, i looked at him dead in his eyes to see if i still got the same feeling … and it all came back to me.

he looked back at me and i thanked him for taking me out and everything and that i had fun with him. and as i said bye to him and went to get out of his car he gently grabbed my hand.

so i paused, and looked at him, sat back donw in the seat, he ran his fingers through the side of my hair, touched my face. i touched his face and we slowly kissed. but this kiss had so much love in it. i could feel it.

since that day last week we have hung out about 4 or 5 times, he’ll take me out to lunch or just come pick me up and drive around just to see my face…

then last night (November 15, 2009) he called me up. i was in the middle of painting my friends walls at the house and i was a mess, my hair looked horrible, i had black sweatpants on with dried paint all over them and a black wife beada.

he asked wat i was doing and said he was on his way to pick me up just to see me for a few minutes. so he picked me up and as soon as i got in the car he had to crack a joke by sayin “damn u still look hot even with paint all over you” and started laughing

as we started to drive off, he said “oh, wait, first things first…” he stopped the car in the middle of the road, leaned over wrapped his arms all around me and kissed mefor a good 5 or 6 long seconds.

then we left and we went to a little hang out spot and were sitting in his car just talking to each other, we started kissing again then he tried makin a move on me and i thought quickly to myself “we just stared hanging out again after a really long time of not talking… this is probably a mistake… CANT DO IT”

so i touched his hand and simply said “not yet, its to soon” and he was fine with that so we continued to kiss and he layed my seat back and i playfully pushed him off me and held his hands down said “no its to soon, we just started talking again” and so he gently touched my face and we kissed softly and then just layed there with each other holding hands….

give it time and he might come back.. it happen for me and i been through the worst with him