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The Ultimate Goal After A Break-Up

I can handle anything quote

“I can handle anything that life throws at me”.

Isn’t that a bold statement?

To say that there is nothing out there that can knock you over.  Maybe not quite so arrogant if you think about it.

What this actually means is that whatever struggles life can concoct and force upon you, you will be prepared. It’s the certainty that you have survived an excruciating time, and that you could survive it again… if you had to.

The problem, though, is that life will not stop giving us hard times and treating us “unfairly”. No.

But if we knew that we had the tools, the self-knowledge and power to get over ANYTHING… we would never bow or surrender.

Isn’t that the ultimate goal to achieve in life – the ultimate benefit after a breakup?

Because no one can guarantee that this was your last break-up ever. But what I personally CAN guarantee you, is that should it happen again, it would NEVER devastate and make you feel helpless again. You’d know what to do.

That is if you do the recovery work, (yes, there’s always a catch).

I believe that, my dear friends, is the ultimate freedom. Knowing that there is nothing that can get you off track and threaten who you are.

You might think, “It’s easy for him to say, he’s been over his Ex for years.  He’s done everything right, but me, I’m still in the middle of it struggling. I cannot possibly make such a courageous statement”.

I know exactly what you mean.

But let me tell you one of life’s most fundamental truths that I’ve learned:

If you want to become someone you are not, start to think like you already are that person. [Tweet This]

This is the principle of the law of attraction.

Tell yourself, “I can handle anything that life throws at me”, even if it sounds so ridiculously wrong.

Eventually you will get there. And there is not a force in the world that can prevent you from reaching this goal.

It is solely in your hands.

We have survived, and we will continue to survive.

I’ve witnessed it so many times. It really works.

Think of the freedom this will give you. Think of what this would do to the fear you have when trying to start something new. Nothing could ever stop you.

Because we can handle anything that life throws at us.

We have survived, and we will continue to survive. Out of our strength, there will come opportunities, inspiration and new perspectives.

We will be re-born with a bullet-proof heart, being stronger and even more capable of giving honest, unconditional love.

So it’s not just a bold statement.

It’s a testament of achievement, a life motto. An outcry of strength – we have suffered and we have prevailed. We are stronger, wiser, more self-confident and we love the person we truly are, (if you don’t have the slightest idea what I’m talking about you must join me).

We can achieve ANYTHING… and certainly handle life’s challenges without getting broken.

Tell me what you think.

Your friend,
Eddie Corbano

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19 Responses to The Ultimate Goal After A Break-Up

  1. Suzan T. April 8, 2014 at 3:04 pm #

    Thank you Eddie for another motivating and on-time post. Yes, We have survived, and we will continue to survive. Out of our strength, there will come opportunities, inspiration and new perspectives.

    • Sampaguitas Dating June 14, 2014 at 8:11 am #

      I agree with you totally that with positive thinking a person can go through anything. I personally have gone through a severe break-up in my past and I know the negative thoughts and emotions that run through your mind when it happens.
      I believe that there is a process or cycle that we go through before we are really over someone.
      With such devastating heartbreak, there was periods I experienced. Such as shame, depression, setting that person on a pedestal and then even thinking bad about that person.
      But as I went through these emotions I realized that although I didn’t really hate the person, it was good for me to identify the things about her that I, in all honesty, couldn’t stand anyway! This helped me to realize that there are other girls out there that are better for me to be with.
      To make a long story short and to avoid confusing people, I will just say that I agree there are healthy ways to deal with heartbreak and sometimes the cycles of thoughts and emotions we go through are necessary to understanding ourselves and our goals in life.
      We will survive and be stronger and happier as a result of this heartbreak!

  2. wlliette April 9, 2014 at 12:52 am #

    Thank you Eddie, of course after all this I have been through, I can handle anything that life throws at me…I am stronger and wiser. Also, I have more confidents in myself. Thank you for all your help and support.

  3. Arun Kumar April 9, 2014 at 12:08 pm #

    Again Thanks, for the nice article.

    I see really I have got very strong. After a month of my breakup my father went away, it became so difficult for me. I went through all these things. I cried, bled. Now, whatever this universe throws at me, I can handle it bravely.

    Thanks Eddie, you are my super-hero!!!!!!!

  4. Syukor April 14, 2014 at 8:25 am #

    Thank you Eddie for the motivating post, Now I’m appreciate each words in the post after more than one year break-up. Its true, let time heals the pain and reading this site really help me in going through the process. Now I’m stronger and I know what i want in my life, thank you Eddie for the initiative of this site and the responses on each topic.

  5. Isabel April 23, 2014 at 8:20 pm #

    He is back, and wants a second chance…
    its bn four months since the break up.

  6. hannah April 28, 2014 at 11:21 pm #

    Hi guys,

    I managed to do the 60 days NC and I must tell you it is the best thing one should do after freaking up. Not only helped me to put my head back in place and rediscover myself more and more everyday.

    I must tell you it’s not easy at all, had plenty of ups and downs especially when my ex spent all this time, pretty much every week trying to be in touch with me… I didn’t reply even though I was tempted because it wasn’t a good time to talk. But straight after my 60th day he contacted me again, and for his surprise I answered his call. Unfortunately I still love him but I no longer like him and am more aware that life has probably better things for me in future.

    The conversation we had led to nowhere, we did not argue which was good but I made it clear I’m no longer mad at him for having cheated and I just don’t think he fits into my life anymore… He seemed to wanting to re-approach but deep inside I know I deserve better because when someone really loves you they don’t simply break the bonds that go beyond love, loyalty & respect, and once that’s gone there’s literally no turning back. It’s like trying to put broken crystal glasses together…

    I thought I;d share my experience which by the way continues with Eddies advice since I still need to free myself from the ex for good and find a new love that will hopefully last longer or make me even happier. Because we all deserve better and more… LOVE!

    Cheers Eddie!

    • Williette April 30, 2014 at 1:46 am #

      Hi hannah,
      After over 125 days, I got a call from my ex, he wanted to apologize for what he had done to me. He said, that I must be one of God’s angles, because God had took everything away from him. He said he felt it was because of his mistreatment to me. And if he did not try and make it right all he had done. He would never be happy or content. His life is and would be a wreck. I told him I forgive him, but I could never forget what he did to me. He said he would spend the rest of his life trying to make it up to me. I never thought I would hear him say that to me. I just wanted everyone to know what has happen to me. Your thoughts and comments would be appreciated, thank you. You too, Eddie any advice.

    • Arun Kumar May 1, 2014 at 6:26 am #

      Hi Hannah!!!!!!!!

      Congrats on 60 days of NC.

    • Eddie Corbano May 1, 2014 at 9:11 am #

      Dear Hannah, congratulations to your 60 days! Awesome job!

  7. Tommy May 1, 2014 at 3:05 pm #

    It’s been 10 days since me and my ex’s break up. She already has blocked me on facebook (i found out straight after that she’s starting to date someone) firstly it was a shocking fact that it’s really over, now I’m just glad that she did that(i had tend to go through her fb wall a lot) because just shows that it isn’t worth of my nerves, obsessive over-thinking etc. Even though sometimes I still check if she has me blocked on but remaining no-contact since 10 days, neither literally or through social media.

    • Jenna May 15, 2014 at 5:31 am #

      Hi Tommy, well done on 10 days NC. I know it may not seem like much but it is. I am only 8 days through but I have made the mistake too of fb stalking the ex and he too has blocked me. It does give one a hollow feeling of dread, but honestly we know not the reason they do it and really it does not make a difference to our recovery and our learning to love ourselves.
      Stay strong and good luck 🙂 .

      • Tommy May 18, 2014 at 12:55 pm #

        Hi Jenna. Thank you for your kind words. I wish you nothing but the best in moving on. It has been a month of no-contact already and it feels way better. Still getting thoughts of her but they ain’t that instense and most of them are brief. Hang in there!

  8. Michal May 5, 2014 at 9:31 am #

    Hey Eddie, let me thank you for all of this. For this website, for the priceless advices and for the enormous amountss of positive energy. It helped me like noone and nothing else and im sure i will be grateful to you for a very long time.

    I would love to ask you for an advice though – i have quite a weird problem with dreams that ive never seen an article about.

    It’s been two weeks since my gf dumped me. Im 22, we have been together for 2.5 years and living together in an apartment for 1.5 years. For that time ive been listening nonstop about how se loves me, how awesome i am, how glad she is she met me, about our kids, wedding, house, etc and i loved her too (or at least i thought so). Out of the blue, she splashed into my face that she is not sure about us, if this is what she wants etc (after a 3 or 4 weeks long crysis related to college and financial problems), she left my apartment saying she needs to take a few days off to make up her head. A week later, she just dumped me via sms, because she ‘couldnt stand seeing me and would break down’.

    Thanks to you im trying to move forward, you helped me to see that perhaps i was more in the love with the relationship than with her, perhaps just trying to prove something to myself with the whole relationship, that there were just too many incompatibilities etc. Not trying to win her back, trying to concentrate myself and my future, knowing that i will be happy if i really want to and that someone better is out there waiting for me and i most likely wouldnt take her back by now.

    The problem i have is : my dreams. Im still having quite a rollercoaster of moods, sometimes im feeling blue, somethimes relieved but i know this was for the better and i want to move on. I dont even think about her when falling to sleep. But once i fall asleep, it all goes wrong. Every night. One night i have dreams about her comming back, crying, saying how she loves me, than living together even happier than before. Another night i have dreams about our last days together. Another night i dream about meeting her by accident with a bunch of her girlfriends and she is all stuck up showing off how better she is without me and everyone is laughing at me. Sometimes i relive my childhood memories with her. I get through the day with my family, friends, studying, distracting myself, going to sleep relatively reconciled with it only to wake up completely devastated and depressed.

    See, this is all i try to avoid. Overanalyzing, drowning in memories, what ifs, thinking that this was all my fault etc. But these dreams are sabotageing it all for me. What is the no contact good for if when i fall asleep im in a very real dream with her. What is the positive thinking good for when my dreams ruin it?

    I know two weeks is a very, very short period after a serious 2.5 years old relationship. And i know that even though i think so, im probably not really reconciled with it. But is there anything you would advice me for this situation?
    Thank you
    Michal

  9. Kasey's Bella Luna September 15, 2014 at 4:55 am #

    Day five. Today feels endless; the desire for contact looms like a haunt with long fingers and persistent voice. Text him. Call him. Just check and see how he’s doing. Maybe he’ll have realized that I truly matter to him.Maybe not having access to me, he’ll miss me and realize how much I truly cared and why I tried to show him. God, I don’t want this anymore. This is torture. Fighting not to contact. Struggling to not let fall stupidly useless tears all day. I’ve cried too much all ready. In California, it amounts to waste of water. But it hurts to know if I act on the urge, allow the cajoling whisper in my head to win, the pattern will repeat…and I will lose myself again for a man who is a dream…he lives in my head today…and haunts me ceaselessly. 🙁

  10. AJ September 16, 2014 at 2:43 pm #

    Day 128 of NC.

    It feels like the long time it’s been. I still find myself thinking of them. Sometimes when I’m with other people and despite what was done to me at the end.

    I’ve survived this long though. But I can’t say I feel immensely better than I did in the early days.

    I’m much more confident and my friends say I’m a different person. I guess the key is, to believing them.

  11. Jesus May 5, 2015 at 11:12 pm #

    That is not my motto anymore, it became the ethos of who I am. My breakup made me into a person I never thought I could become. I had to kill my old self, set of beliefs and pre-conditioning from society. I lost 50lbs, got my Bachelor’s degree, and have been working on becoming the best version of myself every single day. I wouldn’t have it otherwise, It was extremely hard, emotionally draining and exhausting but I always knew that at the end of the day I was just a little bit stronger because I had made it through the day. To everybody out there going through a breakup, just remember that this single event in your life is to weed out weakness in your character. If you use it to your advantage, who knows what you might become or achieve. Let your pain push you to greatness!

  12. tammynyc May 11, 2015 at 2:35 am #

    Reading everybody’s comments on here gave me strength and hope for the future. Thank you everyone for sharing your stories. And thank you Eddie for creating this site and for sharing articles to read in order to help us with our recovery. I hope and pray all of us will get through the pain and emotional struggles we are going through. When I feel spasms start running all over my body and before it reaches my poor and battered heart, I run to this site for rescue. I am now day 2 of NC. My bf of 4 months broke up with me last Friday. Brief yet still painful because of the memories we shared. But I will survive. This, too, shall pass.

  13. Sanya December 2, 2015 at 10:38 pm #

    It has been i think 5 days since my boyfriend and i parted ways. The ex detox plan seems the right way through this excrutiating pain but it is difficult. Reading how people sailed through it ,makes me optimistic …

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