Comments on: Too Guilty To Leave: Are You Delaying A Breakup Out Of Guilt? http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/ Learn how to survive after breaking up and read some great relationship advice for having new and healthy relationships. Fri, 12 Mar 2010 22:07:19 +0100 http://wordpress.org/?v=abc hourly 1 By: Anhelica http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-6011 Anhelica Fri, 08 Jan 2010 00:51:52 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=713#comment-6011 Thanks you...I agree, I also feel that although I can't pinpoint al my reasons, I know I was unhappy and miserable. Like you said, this had been "digesting" inside me for a long time before. However, the thought that I made have been rash, or too hard assaults me from time to time. It's only been 10 days, and I'm in a rollercoaster of emotions: one day I feel good, the next I'm crushed, and so on...but overall I felt I needed to leave. I still don't feel my partner did anything particularly horrible, or is a bad person at all. I just was not happy there (and I have a feeling neither was he, but he went along...) I just couldn't do it anymore. I still can't shake the feelings of guilt though...that I wasn't strong enough to see this relationship through, that I didn't have enough patience, that I "bailed" when a problem arose... it's like I can't see my efforts anymore and I just look at what I left and I feel like a monster for having left this man who I thought would be the one I'd spend my life with. But then, there are times when I think of what I lost and it feels like I lost nothing, because in truth, I had nothing to begin with. At least, nothing substantial to really build a future on. Not even a promise to be together, just thoughts here and there. I don't want to be a "thought" or an "option" to the one I love. I want to be his priority. Is that too much to ask? Sorry if this is long. I just needed to vent. Thank you for your kind words~<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('6011','Anhelica'); return false;">reply</a> | <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('6011','Anhelica','Thanks you...I agree, I also feel that although I can\'t pinpoint al my reasons, I know I was unhappy and miserable. Like you said, this had been \"digesting\" inside me for a long time before. However, the thought that I made have been rash, or too hard assaults me from time to time. It\'s only been 10 days, and I\'m in a rollercoaster of emotions: one day I feel good, the next I\'m crushed, and so on...but overall I felt I needed to leave. I still don\'t feel my partner did anything particularly horrible, or is a bad person at all. I just was not happy there (and I have a feeling neither was he, but he went along...) I just couldn\'t do it anymore.\r\n\r\nI still can\'t shake the feelings of guilt though...that I wasn\'t strong enough to see this relationship through, that I didn\'t have enough patience, that I \"bailed\" when a problem arose... it\'s like I can\'t see my efforts anymore and I just look at what I left and I feel like a monster for having left this man who I thought would be the one I\'d spend my life with.\r\n\r\nBut then, there are times when I think of what I lost and it feels like I lost nothing, because in truth, I had nothing to begin with. At least, nothing substantial to really build a future on. Not even a promise to be together, just thoughts here and there.\r\n\r\nI don\'t want to be a \"thought\" or an \"option\" to the one I love. I want to be his priority. Is that too much to ask?\r\n\r\nSorry if this is long. I just needed to vent. Thank you for your kind words~'); return false;">quote</a></div> Thanks you…I agree, I also feel that although I can’t pinpoint al my reasons, I know I was unhappy and miserable. Like you said, this had been “digesting” inside me for a long time before. However, the thought that I made have been rash, or too hard assaults me from time to time. It’s only been 10 days, and I’m in a rollercoaster of emotions: one day I feel good, the next I’m crushed, and so on…but overall I felt I needed to leave. I still don’t feel my partner did anything particularly horrible, or is a bad person at all. I just was not happy there (and I have a feeling neither was he, but he went along…) I just couldn’t do it anymore.

I still can’t shake the feelings of guilt though…that I wasn’t strong enough to see this relationship through, that I didn’t have enough patience, that I “bailed” when a problem arose… it’s like I can’t see my efforts anymore and I just look at what I left and I feel like a monster for having left this man who I thought would be the one I’d spend my life with.

But then, there are times when I think of what I lost and it feels like I lost nothing, because in truth, I had nothing to begin with. At least, nothing substantial to really build a future on. Not even a promise to be together, just thoughts here and there.

I don’t want to be a “thought” or an “option” to the one I love. I want to be his priority. Is that too much to ask?

Sorry if this is long. I just needed to vent. Thank you for your kind words~

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]]> By: Elina http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-5930 Elina Fri, 01 Jan 2010 00:12:44 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=713#comment-5930 when we do whatever that may even sem as a sudden move at first, has, I am sure, been dugested throughoutly in your mind first... so the decision to split was not a sudden one. It is a hard time the first few weeks or the first few days, and it may look like a mistake and if it is you will know later, but do not jump back into it now... heal an dlet yourself reflect on what has happened. Peace,<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('5930','Elina'); return false;">reply</a> | <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('5930','Elina','when we do whatever that may even sem as a sudden move at first, has, I am sure, been dugested throughoutly in your mind first... so the decision to split was not a sudden one. It is a hard time the first few weeks or the first few days, and it may look like a mistake and if it is you will know later, but do not jump back into it now... heal an dlet yourself reflect on what has happened.\r\nPeace,'); return false;">quote</a></div> when we do whatever that may even sem as a sudden move at first, has, I am sure, been dugested throughoutly in your mind first… so the decision to split was not a sudden one. It is a hard time the first few weeks or the first few days, and it may look like a mistake and if it is you will know later, but do not jump back into it now… heal an dlet yourself reflect on what has happened.
Peace,
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]]> By: Anhelica http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-5904 Anhelica Wed, 30 Dec 2009 06:57:13 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=713#comment-5904 <a href='#comment-5631' rel="nofollow">@john</a> - I feel exactly like you do. I just ended my relationship of almost 2 years because I felt like I just wasn't happy. I will not say he was good or bad, he is just a person, with faults and virtues, and of coursr there were good things and bad things in our relationship, but in the end, I just didn't feel like I could be myself, I felt emotionally distant from him, like what you described: like we're too different, we want different things and we are not compatible. Also, that he didn't take much interest in what I do. But like Kelsey above mentioned, I immediately felt like I made a huge mistake by letting this guy go. I honestly believe he is my soulmate, I love him with all my heart and soul and now I have this nagging feeling that this could have been discussed, instead of cut so suddenly. To be honest, we had not been fighting or anything. I just got to the point where I was too unhappy and I felt I needed to leave, and stop wasting both his and my time. I basically lost all hope for the relationship. I should mention that we're in a long distance relationship since 9 months ago and there seemed to be no end in sight... but he did make a plan to come see me in the spring. Now I think, I wasn't patient enough. I am drying to try to talk him back, but I think thats more a mistake than not. I don't know what to do. Maybe I was too impulsive and this has a chance. If anyone has any advice, I'd greatly appreciate it :(<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('5904','Anhelica'); return false;">reply</a> | <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('5904','Anhelica','<a href=\'#comment-5631\' rel=\"nofollow\">@john<\/a> - I feel exactly like you do. I just ended my relationship of almost 2 years because I felt like I just wasn\'t happy. I will not say he was good or bad, he is just a person, with faults and virtues, and of coursr there were good things and bad things in our relationship, but in the end, I just didn\'t feel like I could be myself, I felt emotionally distant from him, like what you described: like we\'re too different, we want different things and we are not compatible. Also, that he didn\'t take much interest in what I do. \r\n\r\nBut like Kelsey above mentioned, I immediately felt like I made a huge mistake by letting this guy go. I honestly believe he is my soulmate, I love him with all my heart and soul and now I have this nagging feeling that this could have been discussed, instead of cut so suddenly. To be honest, we had not been fighting or anything. I just got to the point where I was too unhappy and I felt I needed to leave, and stop wasting both his and my time. I basically lost all hope for the relationship.\r\n\r\nI should mention that we\'re in a long distance relationship since 9 months ago and there seemed to be no end in sight...\r\n\r\nbut he did make a plan to come see me in the spring. Now I think, I wasn\'t patient enough. I am drying to try to talk him back, but I think thats more a mistake than not. I don\'t know what to do. Maybe I was too impulsive and this has a chance. If anyone has any advice, I\'d greatly appreciate it :('); return false;">quote</a></div> @john – I feel exactly like you do. I just ended my relationship of almost 2 years because I felt like I just wasn’t happy. I will not say he was good or bad, he is just a person, with faults and virtues, and of coursr there were good things and bad things in our relationship, but in the end, I just didn’t feel like I could be myself, I felt emotionally distant from him, like what you described: like we’re too different, we want different things and we are not compatible. Also, that he didn’t take much interest in what I do.

But like Kelsey above mentioned, I immediately felt like I made a huge mistake by letting this guy go. I honestly believe he is my soulmate, I love him with all my heart and soul and now I have this nagging feeling that this could have been discussed, instead of cut so suddenly. To be honest, we had not been fighting or anything. I just got to the point where I was too unhappy and I felt I needed to leave, and stop wasting both his and my time. I basically lost all hope for the relationship.

I should mention that we’re in a long distance relationship since 9 months ago and there seemed to be no end in sight…

but he did make a plan to come see me in the spring. Now I think, I wasn’t patient enough. I am drying to try to talk him back, but I think thats more a mistake than not. I don’t know what to do. Maybe I was too impulsive and this has a chance. If anyone has any advice, I’d greatly appreciate it :(

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]]> By: john http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-5898 john Tue, 29 Dec 2009 20:24:51 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=713#comment-5898 Kelsey, My post is about three above yours, written 11/23. I am in the same boat. Immediately I wanted to get back together with my girlfriend, and about four days after the breakup I tried to tell her we should fix things, but she didn't want to, said it was too late. After Thanksgiving break I kept trying, and it seemed like it was going somewhere, but then she said that she needed a few weeks without contact from me, so that she could figure out what was good for her. That was very hard but I gave her space to think. The day of reckoning came yesterday. We met up and talked for a long time, but she had pretty much made up her mind that it wasn't going to work out between us. The main problem for her is that she doesn't feel she can trust my feelings anymore, that this might happen again and she doesn't want to go through the heartbreak again. I don't know what your situation is, Kelsey, if your guy still loves you but is scared or what. But for me, I feel like I can't stop fighting because she is still in love with me. So I have to decide if I want to hold onto her and the pain of not being with her, the idea of maybe getting her back but keep trying, or if I should just try to move on and heal. Best to you, Kelsey. Keep us posted.<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('5898','john'); return false;">reply</a> | <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('5898','john','Kelsey,\r\n\r\nMy post is about three above yours, written 11\/23. I am in the same boat. Immediately I wanted to get back together with my girlfriend, and about four days after the breakup I tried to tell her we should fix things, but she didn\'t want to, said it was too late. After Thanksgiving break I kept trying, and it seemed like it was going somewhere, but then she said that she needed a few weeks without contact from me, so that she could figure out what was good for her. That was very hard but I gave her space to think.\r\n\r\nThe day of reckoning came yesterday. We met up and talked for a long time, but she had pretty much made up her mind that it wasn\'t going to work out between us. The main problem for her is that she doesn\'t feel she can trust my feelings anymore, that this might happen again and she doesn\'t want to go through the heartbreak again. I don\'t know what your situation is, Kelsey, if your guy still loves you but is scared or what. But for me, I feel like I can\'t stop fighting because she is still in love with me. So I have to decide if I want to hold onto her and the pain of not being with her, the idea of maybe getting her back but keep trying, or if I should just try to move on and heal.\r\n\r\nBest to you, Kelsey. Keep us posted.'); return false;">quote</a></div> Kelsey,

My post is about three above yours, written 11/23. I am in the same boat. Immediately I wanted to get back together with my girlfriend, and about four days after the breakup I tried to tell her we should fix things, but she didn’t want to, said it was too late. After Thanksgiving break I kept trying, and it seemed like it was going somewhere, but then she said that she needed a few weeks without contact from me, so that she could figure out what was good for her. That was very hard but I gave her space to think.

The day of reckoning came yesterday. We met up and talked for a long time, but she had pretty much made up her mind that it wasn’t going to work out between us. The main problem for her is that she doesn’t feel she can trust my feelings anymore, that this might happen again and she doesn’t want to go through the heartbreak again. I don’t know what your situation is, Kelsey, if your guy still loves you but is scared or what. But for me, I feel like I can’t stop fighting because she is still in love with me. So I have to decide if I want to hold onto her and the pain of not being with her, the idea of maybe getting her back but keep trying, or if I should just try to move on and heal.

Best to you, Kelsey. Keep us posted.

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]]> By: Daniel http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-5890 Daniel Tue, 29 Dec 2009 09:04:57 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=713#comment-5890 Kelsey has a point... Sometimes the person who is doing the dumping is still dealing with a lot of pain as well as all the internal conflict that comes from being the one who had to make the decision in the first place...<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('5890','Daniel'); return false;">reply</a> | <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('5890','Daniel','Kelsey has a point... Sometimes the person who is doing the dumping is still dealing with a lot of pain as well as all the internal conflict that comes from being the one who had to make the decision in the first place...'); return false;">quote</a></div> Kelsey has a point… Sometimes the person who is doing the dumping is still dealing with a lot of pain as well as all the internal conflict that comes from being the one who had to make the decision in the first place…
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]]> By: Kelsey http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-5800 Kelsey Thu, 17 Dec 2009 06:32:07 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=713#comment-5800 well, I notice most of these post are for the "dumpee" healing, but what should the heartbroken "dumper" do? I once ended a relationship due to confusion, misery, and sugnificantly less happiness than before. I felt what i was doing was for the best in the long run. Imediatly after the break up i regreted what i did considerably and tried to convice the boy to give us a second chance. he didn't. I was thrown into a severe depression but is now on the mend after much hard work and attmepted positive thinking. So, what is a person like me to do when confronted with leaving the person they love on there own accord? What can a person do to get over a first love? Is there a way to find closure when you were the one who provoked the whole situation?<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('5800','Kelsey'); return false;">reply</a> | <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('5800','Kelsey','well, I notice most of these post are for the \"dumpee\" healing, but what should the heartbroken \"dumper\" do? I once ended a relationship due to confusion, misery, and sugnificantly less happiness than before. I felt what i was doing was for the best in the long run. Imediatly after the break up i regreted what i did considerably and tried to convice the boy to give us a second chance. he didn\'t. I was thrown into a severe depression but is now on the mend after much hard work and attmepted positive thinking. So, what is a person like me to do when confronted with leaving the person they love on there own accord? What can a person do to get over a first love? Is there a way to find closure when you were the one who provoked the whole situation?'); return false;">quote</a></div> well, I notice most of these post are for the “dumpee” healing, but what should the heartbroken “dumper” do? I once ended a relationship due to confusion, misery, and sugnificantly less happiness than before. I felt what i was doing was for the best in the long run. Imediatly after the break up i regreted what i did considerably and tried to convice the boy to give us a second chance. he didn’t. I was thrown into a severe depression but is now on the mend after much hard work and attmepted positive thinking. So, what is a person like me to do when confronted with leaving the person they love on there own accord? What can a person do to get over a first love? Is there a way to find closure when you were the one who provoked the whole situation?
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]]> By: Yuu http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-5782 Yuu Tue, 15 Dec 2009 12:49:02 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=713#comment-5782 What if you've already told the other person your feelings, but they refuse to accept that you no longer feel the same towards them? What if they insist on pretending everything is okay? What do you do if your partner is in denial and refuses to let go?<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('5782','Yuu'); return false;">reply</a> | <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('5782','Yuu','What if you\'ve already told the other person your feelings, but they refuse to accept that you no longer feel the same towards them? What if they insist on pretending everything is okay?\r\n\r\nWhat do you do if your partner is in denial and refuses to let go?'); return false;">quote</a></div> What if you’ve already told the other person your feelings, but they refuse to accept that you no longer feel the same towards them? What if they insist on pretending everything is okay?

What do you do if your partner is in denial and refuses to let go?

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]]> By: Tany http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-5781 Tany Tue, 15 Dec 2009 12:06:05 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=713#comment-5781 I have recently had a breakup from a long distance relationship. I met him on a social networking site and had an instant liking for him. When we became friends within a day or two he expressed his love to me, which was mostly an impulsive action. But then as we continued talking we realised the strong mutual attraction we had for each other. With days becoming week and week turning months, this feeling only got stronger. Everything was fine but I had a secret. Something which would show him the new me. Since the things happened unexpectedly I had no idea how to reveal it to him. And then wen we got involved it got tougher, as he seemed to be the best thing that happened to me all my life.I delayed it to 5-6 months and then one day it got unearthed by him. I accepted and hoped he could forgive. But sadly that dint happen. He changed his ways and said we cant go on now. I would cling on to him, hoping he would return. Sadly am still in the same phase now. It been about 2 weeks now and i am surprised how different n difficult life is without him. He seems to have moved on. He also said if i had told him the reason before, things would have been good between us. So its a shut door to me. In a week i will meet him as it was a planned visit to him. I havent canceled the visit but I am dead scared of my own reaction. This would be the first time we would be meeting after our months of talking and I dun want to miss on it. If anybody could then please suggest me if I should meet him..<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('5781','Tany'); return false;">reply</a> | <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('5781','Tany','I have recently had a breakup from a long distance relationship. I met him on a social networking site and had an instant liking for him. When we became friends within a day or two he expressed his love to me, which was mostly an impulsive action. But then as we continued talking we realised the strong mutual attraction we had for each other. With days becoming week and week turning months, this feeling only got stronger. Everything was fine but I had a secret. Something which would show him the new me. Since the things happened unexpectedly I had no idea how to reveal it to him. And then wen we got involved it got tougher, as he seemed to be the best thing that happened to me all my life.I delayed it to 5-6 months and then one day it got unearthed by him. I accepted and hoped he could forgive. But sadly that dint happen. He changed his ways and said we cant go on now. I would cling on to him, hoping he would return. Sadly am still in the same phase now. It been about 2 weeks now and i am surprised how different n difficult life is without him. He seems to have moved on. He also said if i had told him the reason before, things would have been good between us. So its a shut door to me. In a week i will meet him as it was a planned visit to him. I havent canceled the visit but I am dead scared of my own reaction. This would be the first time we would be meeting after our months of talking and I dun want to miss on it. If anybody could then please suggest me if I should meet him..'); return false;">quote</a></div> I have recently had a breakup from a long distance relationship. I met him on a social networking site and had an instant liking for him. When we became friends within a day or two he expressed his love to me, which was mostly an impulsive action. But then as we continued talking we realised the strong mutual attraction we had for each other. With days becoming week and week turning months, this feeling only got stronger. Everything was fine but I had a secret. Something which would show him the new me. Since the things happened unexpectedly I had no idea how to reveal it to him. And then wen we got involved it got tougher, as he seemed to be the best thing that happened to me all my life.I delayed it to 5-6 months and then one day it got unearthed by him. I accepted and hoped he could forgive. But sadly that dint happen. He changed his ways and said we cant go on now. I would cling on to him, hoping he would return. Sadly am still in the same phase now. It been about 2 weeks now and i am surprised how different n difficult life is without him. He seems to have moved on. He also said if i had told him the reason before, things would have been good between us. So its a shut door to me. In a week i will meet him as it was a planned visit to him. I havent canceled the visit but I am dead scared of my own reaction. This would be the first time we would be meeting after our months of talking and I dun want to miss on it. If anybody could then please suggest me if I should meet him..
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]]> By: john http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-5631 john Mon, 23 Nov 2009 00:30:17 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=713#comment-5631 My girlfriend and I had been together for a little over two years. We excitedly moved in together about four months ago, and broke up three days ago. Shortly after we moved in together i started feeling like we weren't compatible: we are different people, different personalities, and have different interests. But on the other hand, we really do complement each other well: she's very patient and tolerant, supporting and uplifting, and very cuddly. We had stopped connecting so well over the past few months. I thought it was because of our differences in personality. Last night we talked a lot about our relationship, and analyzed the elements that could have contributed to our communication going downhill: me not talking enough, not being interested in each others' interests, or not even being inquisitive about them. So it started with me thinking that we were just different, and that maybe someone similar to me would make me happier (I was not sad or miserable in this relationship. I was actually happy. But the thought that maybe I would be better off with someone else festered inside of me.) I felt that I needed to explore more people and find what was really compatible with me. From our talk last night, I feel that there IS something to fix in our relationship: our communication with each other. It kills me to think that maybe I ended a good thing that "simply" needed to be talked out. and worked on. We have both been incredibly devastated these past few days. I did not think that I would feel like this. Is this a sign that maybe we should not have broken up, that I actually did needlessly end a good thing?<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('5631','john'); return false;">reply</a> | <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('5631','john','My girlfriend and I had been together for a little over two years. We excitedly moved in together about four months ago, and broke up three days ago.\r\n\r\nShortly after we moved in together i started feeling like we weren\'t compatible: we are different people, different personalities, and have different interests. But on the other hand, we really do complement each other well: she\'s very patient and tolerant, supporting and uplifting, and very cuddly. We had stopped connecting so well over the past few months. I thought it was because of our differences in personality. Last night we talked a lot about our relationship, and analyzed the elements that could have contributed to our communication going downhill: me not talking enough, not being interested in each others\' interests, or not even being inquisitive about them.\r\n\r\nSo it started with me thinking that we were just different, and that maybe someone similar to me would make me happier (I was not sad or miserable in this relationship. I was actually happy. But the thought that maybe I would be better off with someone else festered inside of me.) I felt that I needed to explore more people and find what was really compatible with me.\r\n\r\nFrom our talk last night, I feel that there IS something to fix in our relationship: our communication with each other. It kills me to think that maybe I ended a good thing that \"simply\" needed to be talked out. and worked on. We have both been incredibly devastated these past few days. I did not think that I would feel like this. Is this a sign that maybe we should not have broken up, that I actually did needlessly end a good thing?'); return false;">quote</a></div> My girlfriend and I had been together for a little over two years. We excitedly moved in together about four months ago, and broke up three days ago.

Shortly after we moved in together i started feeling like we weren’t compatible: we are different people, different personalities, and have different interests. But on the other hand, we really do complement each other well: she’s very patient and tolerant, supporting and uplifting, and very cuddly. We had stopped connecting so well over the past few months. I thought it was because of our differences in personality. Last night we talked a lot about our relationship, and analyzed the elements that could have contributed to our communication going downhill: me not talking enough, not being interested in each others’ interests, or not even being inquisitive about them.

So it started with me thinking that we were just different, and that maybe someone similar to me would make me happier (I was not sad or miserable in this relationship. I was actually happy. But the thought that maybe I would be better off with someone else festered inside of me.) I felt that I needed to explore more people and find what was really compatible with me.

From our talk last night, I feel that there IS something to fix in our relationship: our communication with each other. It kills me to think that maybe I ended a good thing that “simply” needed to be talked out. and worked on. We have both been incredibly devastated these past few days. I did not think that I would feel like this. Is this a sign that maybe we should not have broken up, that I actually did needlessly end a good thing?

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]]> By: Chief http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-5483 Chief Mon, 26 Oct 2009 22:02:08 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=713#comment-5483 <a href='#comment-5477' rel="nofollow">@Zazie</a> - zazie dear, most the time if you ever find yourself in that type of situation you already the answer. It is very hard, the amount of fear and anxiety your suffering is very understandable, but if i may i didnt have nearly the same length of a relationship as you currently have but i had similar circumstances. and the worst of all was the sex bit. my three year relationship ended sep'09, but it seemed more mutual even though i kinda had to initiate the breakup-we just kept having the same arguments over and over, i think i just realized one moment that it finally had to end. anyway, i miss her terribly at times, it hurts badly. She was also my friend and companion, a lover and confidant. By far the best sexual partner ive ever had...no lie. and that still hurts alot thinking about the loss of physicallity with her. she was a good fit in that regard. Its hard lady, very hard, i am by no means healed, but ive followed no contact and try everyday to find the positive. Im not even sure i had any advice for you, i just know that we have similar thoughts about the sexual part-i found it very hard to give up and let go, ive never had a lover so great (but it also dawned on me this very important thought) initially she wasnt a great lover, and it took time and coaching (i was a little more experienced) i'm saying that part of her being such a good lover was because of the amount of time i put into that part of us, and thankfully she was very receptive. Of couse she brought her own talents to the table but it was after we established such good comfort with each other. For you zazie im sure you can find that again, and i hope to be blessed to find it again as well. Because admittedly im a very physical person, i like close proximity often, naturally i dont think it would work out with someone who isnt the same. keep the faith-listen to your heart and all the brave souls here who have taken that step willingly or not. I wish you peace and everyone here, it is very hard to lose someone you love. But often we stare so long at the door that closes instead of the one that opens. Ive bought some self help books off the net, amazon and what not. they go with me wherever i travel, and i find them very helpful and comforting. maybe you should consider the same. My best, chief<div class="comment-remix-meta"><a href="#" class="replyto" onclick="replyto('5483','Chief'); return false;">reply</a> | <a href="#" class="quote" onclick="quote('5483','Chief','<a href=\'#comment-5477\' rel=\"nofollow\">@Zazie<\/a> - zazie dear, most the time if you ever find yourself in that type of situation you already the answer. It is very hard, the amount of fear and anxiety your suffering is very understandable, but if i may i didnt have nearly the same length of a relationship as you currently have but i had similar circumstances. and the worst of all was the sex bit. my three year relationship ended sep\'09, but it seemed more mutual even though i kinda had to initiate the breakup-we just kept having the same arguments over and over, i think i just realized one moment that it finally had to end. anyway, i miss her terribly at times, it hurts badly. She was also my friend and companion, a lover and confidant. By far the best sexual partner ive ever had...no lie. and that still hurts alot thinking about the loss of physicallity with her. she was a good fit in that regard. \r\nIts hard lady, very hard, i am by no means healed, but ive followed no contact and try everyday to find the positive. Im not even sure i had any advice for you, i just know that we have similar thoughts about the sexual part-i found it very hard to give up and let go, ive never had a lover so great (but it also dawned on me this very important thought) initially she wasnt a great lover, and it took time and coaching (i was a little more experienced) i\'m saying that part of her being such a good lover was because of the amount of time i put into that part of us, and thankfully she was very receptive. Of couse she brought her own talents to the table but it was after we established such good comfort with each other. For you zazie im sure you can find that again, and i hope to be blessed to find it again as well. Because admittedly im a very physical person, i like close proximity often, naturally i dont think it would work out with someone who isnt the same. \r\nkeep the faith-listen to your heart and all the brave souls here who have taken that step willingly or not. I wish you peace and everyone here, it is very hard to lose someone you love. But often we stare so long at the door that closes instead of the one that opens. \r\nIve bought some self help books off the net, amazon and what not. they go with me wherever i travel, and i find them very helpful and comforting. maybe you should consider the same.\r\nMy best,\r\nchief'); return false;">quote</a></div> @Zazie – zazie dear, most the time if you ever find yourself in that type of situation you already the answer. It is very hard, the amount of fear and anxiety your suffering is very understandable, but if i may i didnt have nearly the same length of a relationship as you currently have but i had similar circumstances. and the worst of all was the sex bit. my three year relationship ended sep’09, but it seemed more mutual even though i kinda had to initiate the breakup-we just kept having the same arguments over and over, i think i just realized one moment that it finally had to end. anyway, i miss her terribly at times, it hurts badly. She was also my friend and companion, a lover and confidant. By far the best sexual partner ive ever had…no lie. and that still hurts alot thinking about the loss of physicallity with her. she was a good fit in that regard.
Its hard lady, very hard, i am by no means healed, but ive followed no contact and try everyday to find the positive. Im not even sure i had any advice for you, i just know that we have similar thoughts about the sexual part-i found it very hard to give up and let go, ive never had a lover so great (but it also dawned on me this very important thought) initially she wasnt a great lover, and it took time and coaching (i was a little more experienced) i’m saying that part of her being such a good lover was because of the amount of time i put into that part of us, and thankfully she was very receptive. Of couse she brought her own talents to the table but it was after we established such good comfort with each other. For you zazie im sure you can find that again, and i hope to be blessed to find it again as well. Because admittedly im a very physical person, i like close proximity often, naturally i dont think it would work out with someone who isnt the same.
keep the faith-listen to your heart and all the brave souls here who have taken that step willingly or not. I wish you peace and everyone here, it is very hard to lose someone you love. But often we stare so long at the door that closes instead of the one that opens.
Ive bought some self help books off the net, amazon and what not. they go with me wherever i travel, and i find them very helpful and comforting. maybe you should consider the same.
My best,
chief
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