Comments on: Too Guilty To Leave: Are You Delaying A Breakup Out Of Guilt? http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/?utm_source=rss&utm_medium=rss&utm_campaign=too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt Learn how to survive a break up, rediscover your true self and find Mr/s Right Fri, 18 May 2012 14:22:00 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v= By: Pimafoxx http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-19236 Pimafoxx Fri, 30 Dec 2011 18:31:00 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=713#comment-19236 I just broke up with my fiance after two years of drinking, drugs and physical, mental and emotional abuse. I admit my side and I know  I haven't been the best girlfriend. We tried and tried, broke up and got back together again and again. We both stopped drinking and really tried but I guess it came a little too late. The physical abuse was only when we drank and it stopped until i tried to leave and he grabbed me and shook me so hard I had a bruise on my arm. After that I still went back and he apologized and was sincerely sorry but I felt afraid of him. I got so tired of trying and feeling unhappy. I love him still and even though I broke up with him I don't understand why I feel so sad. I feel like I should have tried harder and been stronger and I keep second guessing myself and wondering if I had made the right decision. I feel so confused I just broke up with my fiance after two years of drinking, drugs and physical, mental and emotional abuse. I admit my side and I know  I haven’t been the best girlfriend. We tried and tried, broke up and got back together again and again. We both stopped drinking and really tried but I guess it came a little too late. The physical abuse was only when we drank and it stopped until i tried to leave and he grabbed me and shook me so hard I had a bruise on my arm. After that I still went back and he apologized and was sincerely sorry but I felt afraid of him. I got so tired of trying and feeling unhappy. I love him still and even though I broke up with him I don’t understand why I feel so sad. I feel like I should have tried harder and been stronger and I keep second guessing myself and wondering if I had made the right decision. I feel so confused

]]> By: Crystal http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-11082 Crystal Sat, 08 Jan 2011 11:23:00 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=713#comment-11082 This is so very difficult. It feels like the major tribulation of my life as it has been my stumbling block for so long already. I grew up in an abusive, semi-nomadic and very isolated type of family, so I got used to not being social. We always lived in rural areas as well. In my mid-teens, we finally moved to a large town and though I was still restricted to having to stay around the house most of the time, I discovered the internet. Four years into it, I met the most amazing person. You could not get us off the phone with each other. We talked for hours and hours..and developed feelings for each other. Long story short, we briefly met, had a whirlwind romance, moved in with each other and endured the hell of basically being two kids who got way in over their heads. He sexually and emotionally abused me, so through a bit of a twisted truth (I was too intimidated to be direct with him) I convinced him to go back home. We broke up over the internet within the next year. Through my early 20s, I had short lived interests with other people and lived with another man again for about a year and a half, who was emotionally abusive and also did not contribute to the household at all (causing me to have to ask him to leave as well). During this same year, I was also raped by a friend. Distraught, I fell back into contact with my first boyfriend and (stupidly?) went back to see him because I didn't want to tell anyone what happened and just wanted to go somewhere..anywhere but where I was. The first boyfriend and I developed a relationship again, though as soon as I got on the plane to go back home, I already felt regret because it was more of his idea and once again I just gave in because at the time it was comforting. Over the next two years, his initial sweetness gave way back to the old perverted, rude and controlling/possessive behaviors (as well as he likes to lie about things that don't even need to be lied about and loves to make things up so I never know what to believe) and we have already broken 3 times within the last two years. I cannot talk to him about our problems because he says I'm a weak minded person who is giving in to negative feelings again, or I'm "not acting like myself" or just any way he can invalidate my feelings and not have to listen to me, so nothing ever gets solved. He overrides me, makes me feel stupid and crazy and that I'm hurting him. Once when I did leave, he created a fake page for me on a social networking site and masqueraded that person as me. He does not like my family. My family doesn't like him. He tells me how our future will be, like he's going to be the one to decide everything and one time when I told him I was considering not having children, he berated me for it and basically told me I was going to and that was it. He constantly checks up on me and even when we lived together, he would secretly follow me everywhere. I'm starting to think the best way is to just disappear from this guy without a trace because I had done it before and was living well before what happened to me put me into an emotional tailspin. I have recovered, am at a much better point in my life and now am looking towards moving out of my parents house (again) and going back to college. I don't even live with this guy anymore, but I hate how intimidated I am of him and yet at the same time, how I somehow feel like the bad guy in all of this who is plotting to hurt him yet again by leaving? All I want is to live my own life without being controlled or coerced by anyone anymore :(. This is so very difficult. It feels like the major tribulation of my life as it has been my stumbling block for so long already. I grew up in an abusive, semi-nomadic and very isolated type of family, so I got used to not being social. We always lived in rural areas as well. In my mid-teens, we finally moved to a large town and though I was still restricted to having to stay around the house most of the time, I discovered the internet. Four years into it, I met the most amazing person. You could not get us off the phone with each other. We talked for hours and hours..and developed feelings for each other. Long story short, we briefly met, had a whirlwind romance, moved in with each other and endured the hell of basically being two kids who got way in over their heads. He sexually and emotionally abused me, so through a bit of a twisted truth (I was too intimidated to be direct with him) I convinced him to go back home. We broke up over the internet within the next year. Through my early 20s, I had short lived interests with other people and lived with another man again for about a year and a half, who was emotionally abusive and also did not contribute to the household at all (causing me to have to ask him to leave as well). During this same year, I was also raped by a friend. Distraught, I fell back into contact with my first boyfriend and (stupidly?) went back to see him because I didn’t want to tell anyone what happened and just wanted to go somewhere..anywhere but where I was. The first boyfriend and I developed a relationship again, though as soon as I got on the plane to go back home, I already felt regret because it was more of his idea and once again I just gave in because at the time it was comforting. Over the next two years, his initial sweetness gave way back to the old perverted, rude and controlling/possessive behaviors (as well as he likes to lie about things that don’t even need to be lied about and loves to make things up so I never know what to believe) and we have already broken 3 times within the last two years. I cannot talk to him about our problems because he says I’m a weak minded person who is giving in to negative feelings again, or I’m “not acting like myself” or just any way he can invalidate my feelings and not have to listen to me, so nothing ever gets solved. He overrides me, makes me feel stupid and crazy and that I’m hurting him. Once when I did leave, he created a fake page for me on a social networking site and masqueraded that person as me. He does not like my family. My family doesn’t like him. He tells me how our future will be, like he’s going to be the one to decide everything and one time when I told him I was considering not having children, he berated me for it and basically told me I was going to and that was it. He constantly checks up on me and even when we lived together, he would secretly follow me everywhere. I’m starting to think the best way is to just disappear from this guy without a trace because I had done it before and was living well before what happened to me put me into an emotional tailspin. I have recovered, am at a much better point in my life and now am looking towards moving out of my parents house (again) and going back to college. I don’t even live with this guy anymore, but I hate how intimidated I am of him and yet at the same time, how I somehow feel like the bad guy in all of this who is plotting to hurt him yet again by leaving? All I want is to live my own life without being controlled or coerced by anyone anymore :( .

]]> By: Chasek8 http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-9718 Chasek8 Thu, 11 Nov 2010 00:25:22 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=713#comment-9718 I think that only you can figue that out, but I also think people make mistakes, and though you are VERY different you can find common ground to grow from, maybe the differences only come from mis communication..... of course there are times when people should be together and just are unsure for a bit right???? I think that only you can figue that out, but I also think people make mistakes, and though you are VERY different you can find common ground to grow from, maybe the differences only come from mis communication….. of course there are times when people should be together and just are unsure for a bit right????

]]> By: Luke http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-8089 Luke Sun, 11 Jul 2010 07:57:15 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=713#comment-8089 Tough love Tough love

]]> By: Chloe. http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-7272 Chloe. Mon, 03 May 2010 03:33:56 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=713#comment-7272 On the very first day of high school, I fell for this guy. Mikey. I had the biggest crush on him, day and day, I'd hope that he'd notice me. He told others he had a girlfriend and it seemed like she was the love of his life. I wished over and over what it would be like to be in her shoes. In her position, how I'd love every bone in him. He was different from me, he had the popularity, the looks, the friends. I had my brains and my future ahead of me. We were almost separated three times by randomness, he was suppose to be transferred out of the only two classes I had with him, but wasn't. Then one day, my teacher took a random count of her students to pick their video project partners, my best friend sneezed right before she was counted and he was then my partner. We worked on the project together and I hoped and hoped he'd notice me, but he didn't. The way he talked about his ex, it was beautiful. How he thought he loved her but realized he didn't. Then, as I moved on. As i began to look away, he fell for me. My childhood crush was then coming into the picture, Bryan. Mikey took a leap. He had no idea I had liked him for so long. We went out for five months. I loved him and still do. We broke up because of college. I was only a junior in high school and I worried about my future. He was of a different ethnicity, a different background. My parents would have never accepted him, and all my life, I was meant to be with someone else. I was named even to be with my childhood crush. They raised me to love this childhood crush of mine. Mikey loved me, every bone in me he put up with, everything about me. He'd do anything I ask, anything I needed. He loved me like no other. My first love. The truest. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do. I could never love him to the fullest, because I feared that I would burn in my own emotions someday when I would have to let him go. I feared I'd make my decisions about my future based on him. I'd give up so much for him. I found out that he never had this girlfriend, he told me about her, so that he could get my attention. I was his first love. Bryan, his mother is a violinist, his father a professional guitarist for a band. His parents and mine have know each other since they were in their early 20's. Bryan is extremely attractive and isn't allowed to date. I over heard the parents talking about how they'd have Bryan wait for me to finish school. I have so much planned for me, for my future. I plan to go to school to be a doctor. I love Mikey and always will be love only takes one so far. Bryan, well, he could love and care but he could never cherish me the way Mikey does. Maybe I'll find the love Mikey has given me again in someone else. Yesterday, I was at Bryan's house and he played "Rivers Follows in You" on the piano and the sound was so beautiful throughout the house. It made me realize the life I could have in the future. The possibilities of what is to come. Mikey, I could only live a life of simplicity, a life of simple comfort, of simple taste. I am making my decision to let Mikey go. I delayed the break up for so long was that I feared he'd think I was just trying to keep my options open, but it's true. I have to do this, I have to let go. He's hurt but I'll have to learn to be okay with that. Maybe I'll regret this decision for the rest of my life, or be proud of it. Who knows. I can't be tied down during these years, during this time, one day, he'll love me for what I'm doing. For setting him free to love who could love him back to the fullest. <br><br>-High School Junior I am. On the very first day of high school, I fell for this guy. Mikey. I had the biggest crush on him, day and day, I'd hope that he'd notice me. He told others he had a girlfriend and it seemed like she was the love of his life. I wished over and over what it would be like to be in her shoes. In her position, how I'd love every bone in him. He was different from me, he had the popularity, the looks, the friends. I had my brains and my future ahead of me. We were almost separated three times by randomness, he was suppose to be transferred out of the only two classes I had with him, but wasn't. Then one day, my teacher took a random count of her students to pick their video project partners, my best friend sneezed right before she was counted and he was then my partner. We worked on the project together and I hoped and hoped he'd notice me, but he didn't. The way he talked about his ex, it was beautiful. How he thought he loved her but realized he didn't. Then, as I moved on. As i began to look away, he fell for me. My childhood crush was then coming into the picture, Bryan. Mikey took a leap. He had no idea I had liked him for so long. We went out for five months. I loved him and still do. We broke up because of college. I was only a junior in high school and I worried about my future. He was of a different ethnicity, a different background. My parents would have never accepted him, and all my life, I was meant to be with someone else. I was named even to be with my childhood crush. They raised me to love this childhood crush of mine. Mikey loved me, every bone in me he put up with, everything about me. He'd do anything I ask, anything I needed. He loved me like no other. My first love. The truest. There wasn't anything he wouldn't do. I could never love him to the fullest, because I feared that I would burn in my own emotions someday when I would have to let him go. I feared I'd make my decisions about my future based on him. I'd give up so much for him. I found out that he never had this girlfriend, he told me about her, so that he could get my attention. I was his first love. Bryan, his mother is a violinist, his father a professional guitarist for a band. His parents and mine have know each other since they were in their early 20's. Bryan is extremely attractive and isn't allowed to date. I over heard the parents talking about how they'd have Bryan wait for me to finish school. I have so much planned for me, for my future. I plan to go to school to be a doctor. I love Mikey and always will be love only takes one so far. Bryan, well, he could love and care but he could never cherish me the way Mikey does. Maybe I'll find the love Mikey has given me again in someone else. Yesterday, I was at Bryan's house and he played “Rivers Follows in You” on the piano and the sound was so beautiful throughout the house. It made me realize the life I could have in the future. The possibilities of what is to come. Mikey, I could only live a life of simplicity, a life of simple comfort, of simple taste. I am making my decision to let Mikey go. I delayed the break up for so long was that I feared he'd think I was just trying to keep my options open, but it's true. I have to do this, I have to let go. He's hurt but I'll have to learn to be okay with that. Maybe I'll regret this decision for the rest of my life, or be proud of it. Who knows. I can't be tied down during these years, during this time, one day, he'll love me for what I'm doing. For setting him free to love who could love him back to the fullest.

-High School Junior I am.

]]> By: annie http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-6876 annie Thu, 01 Apr 2010 19:51:05 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=713#comment-6876 Been thinking a lot about the break up… you said I should write down my thought... let see how this works even though I know its not going to be good… Let be realistic when it will happen… maybe his company situation may have this prolonged a few weeks It has to come to end in may there is no way I can maintain this after May 27th when my school ends... I am graduating on May 27th. My studies life will be ending there is no class and no class excuse to meet up with frank... So where do we go from there... in may once we end this relationship... how do we end I see him for one last time and do the usual maybe dinner and talk perhaps sex in car… and then what its 9:30 time for me to go home and he kiss me hugs me and then I get in car .. Do I call him like always do the second I get in car... even if I call what will I say …….would that be last phone call I will ever make to him What do me when I want to talk to him? What do I do when I want to see him be touched by him...? Where do I go from here... while tying this right now my heart feels like its going to jump out of my chest and my eyes are getting teary and I am having hard time breaking I can’t allow anyone see me crying because there are million question will arise… part of my want to yell out loud that frank u are not leaving me I will not let u ever walk away from me.. U cannot walk away from e… wants to beg him please do not leave me... when he hugs me for one last time I want the time to stop there forever... i want a never ending hug Why does it feel like I will not be able to live without you frank... why I can’t see life without you… and whenever I imagine a life with you why do happiness and smile on my face seems so blurry and so far away from me… the thought of you not being part of my life is so scary and overwhelming.. I need to be able to come with coping strategies to survive this... and I know I will be find and I know I can handle myself but I also know that I need to finds ways to do that.. Last break u buried me under school and work... wut do I do now… Watch more TV have organized shows time finds ways to occupy my times... make schedule events to fill time slots where I am not alone at all…Make sure I am surrounded by people at all times finds way to distract myself and keep myself busy.. Prob start painting and drawing again help dad with gardening … once the basement is done help mom set up everyone new bed room... Set up time aside with my books to study for exam… maybe one hour every night… I like routine and I can create routine... and fine routine where there is no free moment where I think about him… at least not until where I can think about him and smile and snap out of my thought and not have the urge to call him or want to see him... I need to be able to control my thinking until I am capable of controlling my emotions and feeling for him... Maybe I can set up schedule with him and I know he can understand that being with someone is like an addiction and you cannot turn off addiction you have to finds ways to vein off the addiction. I am not exactly sure staying in contact with him effect him but I think if we have schedule contact it will prob will help me... I have to discuss it with him to find out what are his thoughts... however, do I bring it up now or do I leave as it and wait for the right time …. What is the right time who decides when is t the right time… ok…. I think if we come up two days where we talk o each other for lets 10 mines just to find out how we are doing in our lives with each other and just try to keep the conversation general.. Try not to stay on the phone more than 10 minutes… and maybe in time like after few weeks change that into once a week and than once every two week and than once a month every two months and just go from there on... I think this work better for me if ever get desperate desire where I just ant to talk to him I think I can tell myself that I have to wait for our set time... I think will allow me to be able to control my desire and need to talk to him... I know this will work for me but I have a feeling when I share this with him he is going to think I am childish or crazy he would really think I am a crazy woman... who have set date ofr the break up and even a break up plan on how she is planning to handle herself after the break up.. Maybe I am a control freak maybe I am only thinking about myself and not him... what if he really does not want to talk to me for a while to just to deal with himself..w hat if he needs time to deal with his feelings for a while what if he needs space and distance at least in the beginning., what if he does not want to hear form in a long while.. What if he starts to think I am being just as annoying as his ex wife...? What if he just wants to be able to move on and leave past in the past... why do I keep holding on to him... What if he ask me what exactly a 10 minutes conversation will give me twice a week... what kind of place is it fulfilling in my life Why am I asking him to do this for me... please do not ask and just do as I say... No question please Been thinking a lot about the break up… you said I should write down my thought… let see how this works even though I know its not going to be good…
Let be realistic when it will happen… maybe his company situation may have this prolonged a few weeks
It has to come to end in may there is no way I can maintain this after May 27th when my school ends… I am graduating on May 27th. My studies life will be ending there is no class and no class excuse to meet up with frank…
So where do we go from there… in may once we end this relationship… how do we end I see him for one last time and do the usual maybe dinner and talk perhaps sex in car… and then what its 9:30 time for me to go home and he kiss me hugs me and then I get in car .. Do I call him like always do the second I get in car… even if I call what will I say …….would that be last phone call I will ever make to him
What do me when I want to talk to him?
What do I do when I want to see him be touched by him…? Where do I go from here… while tying this right now my heart feels like its going to jump out of my chest and my eyes are getting teary and I am having hard time breaking I can’t allow anyone see me crying because there are million question will arise… part of my want to yell out loud that frank u are not leaving me I will not let u ever walk away from me.. U cannot walk away from e… wants to beg him please do not leave me… when he hugs me for one last time I want the time to stop there forever… i want a never ending hug
Why does it feel like I will not be able to live without you frank… why I can’t see life without you… and whenever I imagine a life with you why do happiness and smile on my face seems so blurry and so far away from me… the thought of you not being part of my life is so scary and overwhelming..
I need to be able to come with coping strategies to survive this… and I know I will be find and I know I can handle myself but I also know that I need to finds ways to do that.. Last break u buried me under school and work… wut do I do now…
Watch more TV have organized shows time finds ways to occupy my times… make schedule events to fill time slots where I am not alone at all…Make sure I am surrounded by people at all times finds way to distract myself and keep myself busy..
Prob start painting and drawing again help dad with gardening … once the basement is done help mom set up everyone new bed room…
Set up time aside with my books to study for exam… maybe one hour every night… I like routine and I can create routine… and fine routine where there is no free moment where I think about him… at least not until where I can think about him and smile and snap out of my thought and not have the urge to call him or want to see him… I need to be able to control my thinking until I am capable of controlling my emotions and feeling for him…
Maybe I can set up schedule with him and I know he can understand that being with someone is like an addiction and you cannot turn off addiction you have to finds ways to vein off the addiction. I am not exactly sure staying in contact with him effect him but I think if we have schedule contact it will prob will help me… I have to discuss it with him to find out what are his thoughts… however, do I bring it up now or do I leave as it and wait for the right time …. What is the right time who decides when is t the right time… ok….
I think if we come up two days where we talk o each other for lets 10 mines just to find out how we are doing in our lives with each other and just try to keep the conversation general.. Try not to stay on the phone more than 10 minutes… and maybe in time like after few weeks change that into once a week and than once every two week and than once a month every two months and just go from there on…
I think this work better for me if ever get desperate desire where I just ant to talk to him I think I can tell myself that I have to wait for our set time… I think will allow me to be able to control my desire and need to talk to him… I know this will work for me but I have a feeling when I share this with him he is going to think I am childish or crazy he would really think I am a crazy woman… who have set date ofr the break up and even a break up plan on how she is planning to handle herself after the break up.. Maybe I am a control freak maybe I am only thinking about myself and not him… what if he really does not want to talk to me for a while to just to deal with himself..w hat if he needs time to deal with his feelings for a while what if he needs space and distance at least in the beginning., what if he does not want to hear form in a long while.. What if he starts to think I am being just as annoying as his ex wife…?
What if he just wants to be able to move on and leave past in the past… why do I keep holding on to him…
What if he ask me what exactly a 10 minutes conversation will give me twice a week… what kind of place is it fulfilling in my life
Why am I asking him to do this for me… please do not ask and just do as I say… No question please

]]> By: Anhelica http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-6011 Anhelica Fri, 08 Jan 2010 00:51:52 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=713#comment-6011 Thanks you...I agree, I also feel that although I can't pinpoint al my reasons, I know I was unhappy and miserable. Like you said, this had been "digesting" inside me for a long time before. However, the thought that I made have been rash, or too hard assaults me from time to time. It's only been 10 days, and I'm in a rollercoaster of emotions: one day I feel good, the next I'm crushed, and so on...but overall I felt I needed to leave. I still don't feel my partner did anything particularly horrible, or is a bad person at all. I just was not happy there (and I have a feeling neither was he, but he went along...) I just couldn't do it anymore. I still can't shake the feelings of guilt though...that I wasn't strong enough to see this relationship through, that I didn't have enough patience, that I "bailed" when a problem arose... it's like I can't see my efforts anymore and I just look at what I left and I feel like a monster for having left this man who I thought would be the one I'd spend my life with. But then, there are times when I think of what I lost and it feels like I lost nothing, because in truth, I had nothing to begin with. At least, nothing substantial to really build a future on. Not even a promise to be together, just thoughts here and there. I don't want to be a "thought" or an "option" to the one I love. I want to be his priority. Is that too much to ask? Sorry if this is long. I just needed to vent. Thank you for your kind words~ Thanks you…I agree, I also feel that although I can’t pinpoint al my reasons, I know I was unhappy and miserable. Like you said, this had been “digesting” inside me for a long time before. However, the thought that I made have been rash, or too hard assaults me from time to time. It’s only been 10 days, and I’m in a rollercoaster of emotions: one day I feel good, the next I’m crushed, and so on…but overall I felt I needed to leave. I still don’t feel my partner did anything particularly horrible, or is a bad person at all. I just was not happy there (and I have a feeling neither was he, but he went along…) I just couldn’t do it anymore.

I still can’t shake the feelings of guilt though…that I wasn’t strong enough to see this relationship through, that I didn’t have enough patience, that I “bailed” when a problem arose… it’s like I can’t see my efforts anymore and I just look at what I left and I feel like a monster for having left this man who I thought would be the one I’d spend my life with.

But then, there are times when I think of what I lost and it feels like I lost nothing, because in truth, I had nothing to begin with. At least, nothing substantial to really build a future on. Not even a promise to be together, just thoughts here and there.

I don’t want to be a “thought” or an “option” to the one I love. I want to be his priority. Is that too much to ask?

Sorry if this is long. I just needed to vent. Thank you for your kind words~

]]> By: Elina http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-5930 Elina Fri, 01 Jan 2010 00:12:44 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=713#comment-5930 when we do whatever that may even sem as a sudden move at first, has, I am sure, been dugested throughoutly in your mind first... so the decision to split was not a sudden one. It is a hard time the first few weeks or the first few days, and it may look like a mistake and if it is you will know later, but do not jump back into it now... heal an dlet yourself reflect on what has happened. Peace, when we do whatever that may even sem as a sudden move at first, has, I am sure, been dugested throughoutly in your mind first… so the decision to split was not a sudden one. It is a hard time the first few weeks or the first few days, and it may look like a mistake and if it is you will know later, but do not jump back into it now… heal an dlet yourself reflect on what has happened.
Peace,

]]> By: Anhelica http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-5904 Anhelica Wed, 30 Dec 2009 06:57:13 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=713#comment-5904 <a href='#comment-5631' rel="nofollow">@john</a> - I feel exactly like you do. I just ended my relationship of almost 2 years because I felt like I just wasn't happy. I will not say he was good or bad, he is just a person, with faults and virtues, and of coursr there were good things and bad things in our relationship, but in the end, I just didn't feel like I could be myself, I felt emotionally distant from him, like what you described: like we're too different, we want different things and we are not compatible. Also, that he didn't take much interest in what I do. But like Kelsey above mentioned, I immediately felt like I made a huge mistake by letting this guy go. I honestly believe he is my soulmate, I love him with all my heart and soul and now I have this nagging feeling that this could have been discussed, instead of cut so suddenly. To be honest, we had not been fighting or anything. I just got to the point where I was too unhappy and I felt I needed to leave, and stop wasting both his and my time. I basically lost all hope for the relationship. I should mention that we're in a long distance relationship since 9 months ago and there seemed to be no end in sight... but he did make a plan to come see me in the spring. Now I think, I wasn't patient enough. I am drying to try to talk him back, but I think thats more a mistake than not. I don't know what to do. Maybe I was too impulsive and this has a chance. If anyone has any advice, I'd greatly appreciate it :( @john – I feel exactly like you do. I just ended my relationship of almost 2 years because I felt like I just wasn’t happy. I will not say he was good or bad, he is just a person, with faults and virtues, and of coursr there were good things and bad things in our relationship, but in the end, I just didn’t feel like I could be myself, I felt emotionally distant from him, like what you described: like we’re too different, we want different things and we are not compatible. Also, that he didn’t take much interest in what I do.

But like Kelsey above mentioned, I immediately felt like I made a huge mistake by letting this guy go. I honestly believe he is my soulmate, I love him with all my heart and soul and now I have this nagging feeling that this could have been discussed, instead of cut so suddenly. To be honest, we had not been fighting or anything. I just got to the point where I was too unhappy and I felt I needed to leave, and stop wasting both his and my time. I basically lost all hope for the relationship.

I should mention that we’re in a long distance relationship since 9 months ago and there seemed to be no end in sight…

but he did make a plan to come see me in the spring. Now I think, I wasn’t patient enough. I am drying to try to talk him back, but I think thats more a mistake than not. I don’t know what to do. Maybe I was too impulsive and this has a chance. If anyone has any advice, I’d greatly appreciate it :(

]]> By: john http://lovesagame.com/too-guilty-to-leave-are-you-delaying-a-breakup-out-of-guilt/comment-page-1/#comment-5898 john Tue, 29 Dec 2009 20:24:51 +0000 http://lovesagame.com/?p=713#comment-5898 Kelsey, My post is about three above yours, written 11/23. I am in the same boat. Immediately I wanted to get back together with my girlfriend, and about four days after the breakup I tried to tell her we should fix things, but she didn't want to, said it was too late. After Thanksgiving break I kept trying, and it seemed like it was going somewhere, but then she said that she needed a few weeks without contact from me, so that she could figure out what was good for her. That was very hard but I gave her space to think. The day of reckoning came yesterday. We met up and talked for a long time, but she had pretty much made up her mind that it wasn't going to work out between us. The main problem for her is that she doesn't feel she can trust my feelings anymore, that this might happen again and she doesn't want to go through the heartbreak again. I don't know what your situation is, Kelsey, if your guy still loves you but is scared or what. But for me, I feel like I can't stop fighting because she is still in love with me. So I have to decide if I want to hold onto her and the pain of not being with her, the idea of maybe getting her back but keep trying, or if I should just try to move on and heal. Best to you, Kelsey. Keep us posted. Kelsey,

My post is about three above yours, written 11/23. I am in the same boat. Immediately I wanted to get back together with my girlfriend, and about four days after the breakup I tried to tell her we should fix things, but she didn’t want to, said it was too late. After Thanksgiving break I kept trying, and it seemed like it was going somewhere, but then she said that she needed a few weeks without contact from me, so that she could figure out what was good for her. That was very hard but I gave her space to think.

The day of reckoning came yesterday. We met up and talked for a long time, but she had pretty much made up her mind that it wasn’t going to work out between us. The main problem for her is that she doesn’t feel she can trust my feelings anymore, that this might happen again and she doesn’t want to go through the heartbreak again. I don’t know what your situation is, Kelsey, if your guy still loves you but is scared or what. But for me, I feel like I can’t stop fighting because she is still in love with me. So I have to decide if I want to hold onto her and the pain of not being with her, the idea of maybe getting her back but keep trying, or if I should just try to move on and heal.

Best to you, Kelsey. Keep us posted.

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