A Message From The Future You (Audio Message)

Photo by: Camdiluv

Every day I receive many emails from readers who write me their stories, and I love reading them. But sometimes, someone sends me something that really strikes a chord with me.

I got an email with the simple subject line, “A new tool for the box” and it contained a self-recorded audio with an inspiring and uplifting message for all the break-up survivors out there.

I wrote back to thank him and asked for some more information about himself and his experience.

So he sent me this letter.

A letter that touched me on such a deep, emotional level that somehow brought back all the memories and emotions I felt back after my own breakup.

I’ve attached it below. It’s quite long, but I promise that you will find it very useful.

After you read it, don’t forget to listen to his audio message below.

A Message from Warren:

As some of you may know, Marseille is the culture capital of Europe this year and the opening night was huge. It was impossible to get to Vieux Port, but we tried. Eventually, we settled for a more spacious area in the back for some breathing room and to try to meet up with a friend of Hope’s who we were supposed to see in town.While waiting for him to show, I decided we should try to find a way into the middle of the action. It was only about a minute before Hope runs off in the middle of the crowd without telling me to try and find this guy she was planning to meet with.

Me not having a cell phone, completely lose her and go back to where we were to find her. After half an hour of walking around in circles through crowds looking for her, I eventually give up and go back home.

I call her as soon as I walk in to find out she is upset with me for going home, while I am simultaneously upset about her leaving me just for the possibility of meeting some other guy.

I thought I did the right thing by looking for her and then returning home to call her and try to regroup. This is one time I really wished I would have had a cell phone.

In any case, she comes home empty-handed as even her friend never showed.

Just to avoid a fight when she walks through the door, I go up to visit my upstairs neighbor and cool off, hoping she’ll do the same when she gets home.

I come back downstairs after half an hour to find nobody is home. I try calling her to no answer and eventually came to the conclusion she went back out (and probably with this guy).

So, I sit and do nothing for about an hour until a friend calls me asking to join him at a concert. Sure, why not, right?

Well, one too many drinks later, plus a couple of happy pills and I came home in a state I still don’t remember.

Yea, I was in the wrong for getting so messed up, but f*ck, I was upset too about the fiasco of the soiree.

A few days go by and I am ready to set things right, no more walking past each other like gunslingers in the apartment.

I set up candles, wine, massage oil, and a bunch of French and Romanian love music I’ve never heard of (but spent hours looking for and downloading all afternoon), plus a few of ‘our’ songs.

I was excited, I had also just bought a new couch that we had yet to make love on and was hoping to welcome it to the apartment properly.

She comes home and tells me she’s moving out, she had actually been planning it for a week already (before the culture capital incident) and was waiting to tell me until she was approved for the apartment.

Shock, Denial, Confusion.

It was still about a month before she actually moved out waiting to get approved for the apartment and then later just to have everything sorted.

To be honest, I really didn’t mind. At this point, I was in a way okay with everything.

I thought I was.

I told myself this was a long time coming and in the end, it is for the best. For both of us.

I slept on the couch during this time, but for the most part, we were both very civil about it, going about our days, still talking casually and living fairly harmoniously besides that bit of awkwardness that even the best actors couldn’t avoid.

I thought for sure when she finally left, I would spend a couple of weeks going out with the guys drinking and voilà I would be okay.

We obviously decided to be friends, it is something we both want. It is something we should have stayed as in the beginning.

We may have started as just lovers, but we found in the past two years that despite the culture difference, the age difference, and just other small differences, we actually were very much alike and seemed to have this mental connection that I don’t think I have ever shared with anybody else.

Unfortunately, as a couple, we were just not meant to be.

Maybe we just met at the wrong time, or there are some other underlying issues that we had that kept us from reaching the full potential as a couple that we could have.

Self-saboteur, anyone? I will say this.

Hope was honest from the very beginning, she never wanted a relationship, and despite her best efforts I eventually convinced her into one.

Even though she agreed to it, for whatever reason she did, I never quite felt like she let me all the way in.

This always got to me and led to me acting out in ways I have never acted before… ever. Which of course only gave her, even more, reason to keep her distance.

In any case, we tried to go straight into being friends, it was… difficult for me.

I thought it would be a natural transition, but I guess I was still in denial about the whole thing because I just kept expecting her to come back home and stop playing this silly game.

Expecting to see her on the couch with the computer in lap when I walk through the door or wake up in our bed expecting her beside me. Thinking this whole thing was maybe just a setback, a struggle to build our relationship on truth and authenticity.

No more mask, false perfection. I didn’t know how to act.

How do you go on knowing the woman you love is just down the street and you can’t have her?

Drinking and drugs didn’t help, neither did emotionless sex.

My answer… writing.

Everything I wrote was either for her or about her. And so in a way, through my writing, I was with her.

Some of it I sent to her (regrettably), some of it I threw away, and some of it I have in a notepad that I may use for a laugh ten years from now.

After a month of being ‘just friends’ that occasionally still confirmed some sort of lingering feelings through physical affection, I was ready to get down on bended knee and beg her to come back.

That night, she was with somebody else. I will skip the embarrassing story on my part, but let’s just say I pushed her so far away she fell off the world… my world.

She decided it is best we do not speak for some time – a year to be exact.

Yeah, I f*cked up that badly.

She was definitely in the right for this, and I had been telling myself that entire month of ‘just being friends’ that I need to space myself from her in order to really let go, but I was weak, and in love, in other words, an idiot.

I suppose at least I can say, I did give the relationship all I had until the bitter end.

Are there things I could have done, that I should have done?

Maybe, but in the end, I doubt there is very little I could have done differently and have had a different result.

The fact is, I did then what I knew to do. Now, that I know better, I will do better.

It has been a month of no contact (besides a brief a phone call she gave me about mail at her old apartment where we used to live before moving into the apartment I live in now.)

I am much better now, and assuming she is not too upset about me writing all this, we will go back to being friends and at some point laugh about it.

Despite the difficult times throughout the relationship, I will definitely remember the good times.

I remember when I met her. Beautiful, mature, cool.

I was mesmerized and did my best not to show it. I knew I was falling in love early on, and knew she wasn’t.

To my credit, I did try to end things early. As did she.

Once I told her we should take space so she can get over her previous boyfriend, but a ‘late period scare’ brought us even closer together.

Later, she tried dumping me knowing I was getting too serious and she didn’t want that.

She sent me an email when I was gone one weekend with a friend to Lyon to say it was over, but when I got home and went to go see her in person about it, she admitted that she was so sure at that point it was what she wanted but having me in front of her, she changed her mind.

Things were easy for a while after that, I didn’t push the relationship issue, and it was smooth sailing for a couple of months.

After about six months, though, I knew I was in too deep and gave her the final ultimatum.

Why a man would force a woman into a relationship that doesn’t want one and she allows him to do as he pleases, while still getting time to spend with her would ruin such an opportunity.

F*ck if I know. Idiot Love thing again.

She did say okay to be a proper couple, though. For the rest of the relationship, I steadily let her more and more into who I was as a person and struggled to get closer to her.

I would write her poetry (albeit bad poetry), and she would just reply, ‘That’s nice,’ then walk off.

At times, I definitely believed she confined herself too much by reason and logic, but that was not to say she didn’t love me at some point. She was never good at showing it, but there were times I knew.

It was always difficult for her to even say the words and when she did, it was almost like watching a child speak a foreign language. But knowing how difficult it was for her made it all the more sweet to hear.

The real memories I refuse to let go is how she would show it.

She is distant and a bit weird about affection, but sometimes it would overcome her like a teenage girl in love for the first time.

And that’s exactly how she acted. Cute, girly, bury her face in your neck and try to crawl in your lap.

And I loved it. I loved when she would let her guard down and be human.

It is not to say I didn’t have my doubts throughout the relationship, but there were times I knew I loved her.

The most recent, and the one that I believe made the break up the hardest was my trip to India.

In meditation, I finally let go of all the resentment I held for her and knew that she was somebody I wanted a future with, that she complimented me, somebody I wanted to work to be with.

She even said when I came back that she could see the change and was hopeful, happy even.

Unfortunately, old habits die hard, and when your life is a pendulum swinging between boredom and fear, you are bound to trip up again.

And I did. And she left.

Other times when I could see the angel in her was when she was sleeping.

A night we slept out on the beach, we had an Apero earlier on, but we decided to make it all night.

I woke up in the middle of the night and just stared up appreciating the myriad of stars we were under, the sea’s dark horizon, the sand on my feet, and the pale surf crashing on the rocks then falling back into blackness.

Then turning to her, under that pink blanket, such beauty could house a goddess. Smoothing her tangled, brown hair and just thanking God for the world just as it was and no different, begging he would not tell me how the story ends.

I will hold on to these positives memories. And try not to relive them too much, as to not do too much damage to their origins.

Elementary school game. Say the word and pass it on.

Enough emotional mumbo jumbo, back to present day: I have been through ever emotion imaginable, some more often than others. Border-lining bipolar.

Over the past month, I have had a lot of negative recurring images of her being with somebody else, dreams of a false hope for reunification, of being jealous of how easily she let go and moved on.

I have felt pain I have never felt before.

Ironically, comparing it to breaking my femur has been a useful tool to remind me that it will eventually go away.

Sure, you can’t even walk at first, but it gets easier with time. But to be careful, too much weight or a slight bump will send the pain screaming back with a vengeance.

I have let go now I believe.

It is not to say I no longer care for her. Only that I realize I can only control myself in this world (and barely at that) and nobody else.

I no longer let the past steal my present. I’m getting my shit together and going to spend a lot time on myself.

I need a break from women and relationships, I realize I have spent more time in one, than single during my 20s so far. That can’t be right…

In the end, it took a lot of time, a lot of digging deep, and a lot of getting perspective, respecting that she did what she thought was best for her and that my happiness is not dependent on her (or anybody else for that matter).

I can now officially let go of Hope with love and clear myself of these chains to the past and make way for a new future.

New career. New outlook. New Love.

An opportunity to completely rebuild myself from the rubble from the ground up.

Take care, Warren

I hope that you liked Warren’s story and audio message to you.  Please share your opinion about it in the comment section below.

Your friend,
Eddie Corbano

  • Jessica Valencia says:

    Did you tell her any of this to her? If you have not talked to her how do you know she moved on? Maybe you are better at friends or maybe she is just waiting on you to make a move. my guess is you are not so expressive with her. should give that a try. just saying. if you don’t you never know…. Also people gossip so much and enjoy seeing others in pain, so be surtain that it is what you think it is.

  • Tumeka(South Africa) says:

    Dear Warren

    Thank you for the motivating audio and letter. It’s been six months since I’ve separated with my husband of three years and I am on day 2 of the NC rule.

    I really want to survive but I can’t lie not responding to his calls and messages is by far the worst torture I’ve ever put my self in.



  • this is so beautiful! Just what I needed to read and hear today. I feel very happy right now.

  • Wow. I really needed to hear this audio message. I am only on day 2 of NC. I have gone through a lot in my life, however I have never experienced emotional pain like this before. I am so grateful to read the words of people in similar situations to mine. You honestly feel like you are the only one going through something like this at times. It hurts like hell and consumes every minute of your thoughts … every action you take. I am determined to get past this and this site has helped so much so far. I will continue to use it on a daily basis for support. The part of the audio message that actually made me cry (which says something because I am very numb at the moment) was where Warren spoke about how we all need to feel like we are all worth something and that what I am feeling really has little to do with this man who has hurt me so terribly. I found this very powerful. Thank you.

  • I could feel the pain, healing and love in his voice. Truly remarkable how fragile we are, really. And to stop and be human to deal with the pain instead of masking it by moving right along like it didn’t matter. I am so thankful to hear this story on audio, it is so profound to me and very powerful. Hearing him say the things not to do and what could happen if you did them. And most importantly what this is really about, us, all of us here trying to find healing and hope from the pain. And knowing we wont always feel like this, remarkable! Thank you!

  • WOW! Thanks for sharing your story Warren!
    I can say I have hope that I will get over my break up……
    My ex and I reconnected after 20 plus years and started a 2 and a half year relationship.
    He lived in another state , I went to visit him and a month later he moved to my hometown.

    It was so beautiful like a fairy tale romance, I was on cloud nine until after a year out of no where he said to me that he needed space and need to get hisself together. He dumped me!!! I was so hurt!!! I opened up my heart to him …that was the first relationship I had since my marraige ended 12 years ago. I had gave up on love.
    A month had passed and he contacted me again and we starting hanging out and ended up back together and here we were again back in love, at least that’s what I thought.

    He ended up living with me , we were in love all over again! In my mind I found the person I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Until one night i found out he cheated on me and he confessed….. then he said to me that he was not in love with me anymore, his feelings changed for me and that he grew apart from me. WOW!!! is all i could say, one bomb after the other!!!! I spent 21/2 years loving this man gave him my heart and soul and he did me like this! like the saying goes “fool me once shame on you, fool me twice shame on me”!!!!!

    I have no contact with him in a month and a half…. im not going to lie I do miss him, but I know he is no good for me!!!! I know my WORTH!!! and he is definitely not WORTHY of ME!!!!! WHAT GOES AROUND COMES AROUND…….KARMA IS A MUTHA!!!!!!!

  • Ruth, Rick, (and Eddie),

    Thank you so much for sharing your stories. I too am dealing with a major heartbreak and your experiences resonate with me. I am on day 10 of NC and it has been difficult. I’ve taken the advice of wearing a rubber band on my wrist and I have to say, it’s getting sore from snapping it every time I think of her. But it helps.
    The audio recording was amazing. Very uplifting and on the money. I am still in the fantasy part, hoping she will come back. She told me ten days ago that she is seeing someone new and I’ve been hoping it doesn’t work out and she will come back.
    But Eddie is right, it will only last a short time and I will appear weak for giving in. But the idea of her laying with someone else after we’ve been together for 12 years (not married), is killing me. I wonder sometimes if she misses me or even thinks of me. Of course I doubt it but like to imagine I am a thought after so much time together.

    Anyway, this is the hardest thing I’ve had to deal with and I appreciate all of the stories and the site. I read it over and over seeking peace.

    I wish everyone well. We will survive!


  • Dear Warren (and Eddie of course)

    thanks for sharing your story and wisdom. I can particularly relate to you because 1) you’re a man and 2) you live in the South of France. I settled in Nice two years ago, basically because it was the only way to preserve a relationship that was born in the wonderful city of Bordeaux.

    We started off as a very sexually oriented couple, we met on a swingers website, but we were both free, and we discovered to really like each other. We did everything backward : first the sex, then asking her out, then cooking dinner for her at my place, and in the end genuinely enjoying each other’s company. Feelings grew. At first I didn’t dare telling her I was in love with her, I thought I was just a fuck buddy for her and I didn’t want to scare her off my life. But she wanted to move to another city, she was into dangerous circles in Bordeaux (she lived in the street for several months, and she was an escort girl for a while) and I got this interesting job offer in Nice. I took it as a sign. We opened up to each other, that we loved each other and that we should embark on this adventure together. We did.

    Moving here was very hard for me : this is a spiritually and culturally barren, money obsessed place. I have a 2,5h commute to my work every day, I came home totally worn out only to find her lying on the couch, somewhat moody and depressed for not finding a job, spending time on facebook and games. I felt abandoned, but I wanted to carry on, to be the man and provide emotional and financial security for both of us and for her to have time and space to find her way. Cooked dinner, provided affection and laughs and nights out. She started an awful diet, lost 8 kilos, I started to find her skinny body less attractive, but I didn’t say anything, since it was her only achievement during those days, and I didn’t want to hurt her. Sometimes I felt compassion for her struggle, but I loved her. My energy took a blow, our sexual life as well. I still beat myself up for that.

    After several months she started working as a nudist-tantric masseuse. She told me she was a form of meditation and spiritual enlightenment for her, doing it with integrity and drawing neat boundaries with clients. She was always into chakras, energies and buddhism and everything (which I respect and somewhat fascinated me). She started earning well (but all the money went into a nose surgery she’s been dreaming about for years), looked happier. I thought I was as well, but I was internally resisting this job, building walls. Once again, I grew sexually more distant. We still had wonderful time together, me having ides for trips and supporting her and cheering her up throughout bad times. But she was so moody, and often started awful fights over me not f**ing her as much as at the beginning. I am not the kind of guy who get into fights, not with a beloved one, always tried to calm her down, I was humiliated for not being the lover I used to be, begging for pardon and the day after she regretted and told me she loved me so much for me being the person I am. I thought things were getting better and better between us.

    Fast forward two months ago. She had just found a decent and well paid job in a large top-end furniture shop in Nice. I was happy she left massage, I just offered her a wonderful trip to Rome and everything worked fine, even sex was great. And then over a pizza, she told me she was going to breakup, that she’s been cheating me ever since the time she was unemployed at home (that is, more than a year), f**ing casual guys on the internet just to compensate for my lessened sexual energy. She left the day after, while I was still under shock.

    She later sent me an email telling me the real reason was that she has had an affair with a multi-millionaire she met with her massages, and that recently became her boss (at the furniture store). I’ve been knowing about him for quite a while, she kept telling me about how happy he was with her wife and that she was some kind of mentor for her. What a fool I was to believe that. She even had me write her cover letter for that job and I was so proud to help her. She said it all started as a sex thing and in the end she fell for him.

    She kept talking about the law of attraction, so I guess it really worked for her. She lives on a yacht, a multi-millionnaire left her wife and children for her, she has a job she enjoys. I feel so abandoned, fooled, and humiliated. And still, I think it’s my fault for not having been the good lover of our beginnings.

    And of course, a couple of weeks ago she called me. She said she was so sorry to have lost me, that she’d kept fighting with the other guy every single day, and she now understood what she’d lost and what was really important for her. I invited her over (I KNOW, I should have sent her to hell, but… I’m a silly man in love), she accepted. During that night we made new plans for the future, for a new future without lies or cheating, but she already looked somewhat scared. By leaving him, she’d lost her job, back to square one.

    And the day after, she just told me she did an awful mistake, and that she had to get back to him. She kept saying that she never really felt “passionate” about our love, but safe, at peace, accepted and protected. Now she has passion and fights and regular sex.

    I am just crushed and humiliated, in my feelings and of course, in my fragile male ego.

    Work is going underwater, I just don’t enjoy anything in life anymore. I guess bad issues in my life are emerging, like not having a real purpose, and using relationships as an excuse for not actively looking for a more purposeful life. But, honestly, I have no clue about where to start from right now. Job was mostly a tool to allow us to be together, and I have to start working on that first.

    Sorry for this overly long post, I guess I just had to vent everything out.

    Day 5 on the NC rule, and sticking to it no matter what.

    thanks to all for reading this, and to Eddie for his wonderful advice.


  • Thanks Eddie and Warren for this wonderful article and audio… I played it several times and it gave so much comfort especially his last few lines that say something about knowing that your ex is not worth it because he wasn’t there when you were in the hard times. Surely, I am not perfect. But thanks for reminding me that despite the imperfections, I am worth it. And someday, someone will be able to appreciate me for all my weaknesses, and love me for who I really am.. even the monster in me.. 🙂

  • Great advise. When my breakup started 2 months ago I promised I would come back and leave a not to report on my progress. Here it is: it DOES get better with time. In my case, I was the one that break up with her because she wasn’t mature enough and ready to take the next step and have her leave her parents house. She was afraid of losing the comfort, so I decided to cut things off after 3 years of relationship. I thought I didn’t care about her. Initially she said she was gonna change and blah, blah, but a few weeks after that, she changed her view and said “things happen for a reason”, “if we’re meant to be we’ll find a way”, “we get along well but the relationship didn’t work”. I was like, what the hell happened to “I’m gonna change and fix things?”. Then, I discovered through a friend that she had ben talking to another guy right after our breakup. How easy, isn’t it? Just get another guy and you’ll be fine. To make matters worse, I started to care all of a sudden, and wanted her back. We used to text, some phone calls, etc but she wouldn’t change her mind. She DENIED this new guy thing completely. I don’t understand why she had to deny it, but she did until the very last time I saw her…she never accepted it, even though I know it’s true. Long story short: The last time I saw her, I told her I wasn’t gonna give her more “time to think things though”, that I had had enough and that we are breaking up permanently. After that I thought I was OK, but I wasn’t. I missed her, but maintained NC until today. It’s been around 30 days so far. Now, if she’s with this other guy, it’s easy to forget about me, so why the hell am I thinking so much about her? She doesn’t deserve it. Now I do think about her sometimes, but it doesn’t hurt as the beginning. Just know you’ll be fine eventually. Think about the negative things and WORK ON YOURSELF. It’s your time. Take advantage of it

    • Hi Rick, don’t worry you’re not alone in this world. My ex rekindled his romance with his ex as well (his ex before me), a month after we broke up. I even heard that he bought her expensive things that he has not given me in our 2 and a half years. That’s painful, but, come to think of it, you know that it not a mature thing to do. As Eddie said, hastily jumping into a relationship and trying so hard to put it in the same level of your previous relationship won’t do eventually since all the pain are just covered up, not healed. At least, you have learned your lesson and you are certain that when the right woman comes, you’re ready emotionally because you allowed yourself to feel the pain and learn from it. You are stronger than her because you are surviving and managing to be alone for some time.

      • Hi Ruth, Thanks for your comment. I know I did learn and keep learning about myself thanks to this breakup that – let’s make it clear – I innitiated because I felt she wasn’t enough for me. This is something I haven’t heard much about in blogs, articles, etc. It is always assumed that one was dumped by the ex. In my case, it should be easier, right? Well, it should, but it wasn’t (isn’t). It’s like I always knew I had her and she would take any crap from me, I took her for granted thinking she would never get tired of me. In part, I took her for granted because I always felt I was so much better than her and that I could do better anytime. But anyway, the point is I did feel the pain of the breakup and by maintaining NC (I really don’t wanna hear how much fun she’s having w this other dude) I keep some of my sanity. It is sad to say, but I really don’t wanna hear ANYTHING from her in my life, since I know that as soon as I hear she’s doing great w this other guy, I will feel pain. Is this a common feeling for men? To be jealous of your ex being with another guy, EVEN if I broke things off?

        • Omg this is exactly me Rick! We were together for over two years and the last year I decided to move back “temporary” to my country – but then he tells me I should buy my own ticket back and I was like oh he’ll no, if a man wants me then he should and will move to the ends of the universe to be with me – he didn’t, he put it all on me. What did I do? Nothing I didn’t give him that scope of taking a backseat to his duties as a man. Why must he shift his masculine energy over to me? Well cos I feel deep down inside both of us did not wanna get back together…I was an insecure scared one foot in one foot out during out entire relationship and him just loving me harder… But a year of long distance….texting and calls everyday…calls dwindling towards the end of the year…fights and more mistrust happening. Then eventually I saw with my own eyes how sneaky he was behind my back..I confronted hum he denied denied denied till the end. I couldn’t anymore. ..betrayal is a huge issue for me…maybe I pushed him to chat or flirt with other girls but I don’t care betrayal is betrayal. I told him to respect my choice to never contacting me again..He tried a few times..I blocked him and deleted the Viber off my phone where we used to chat. He called me the last time 10 days ago…I haven’t messaged him and he hasn’t either I assume he finally is acknowledging he fucked up good and I am over all this shit and that to respect my NC. He was an amazing guy I won’t lie he loved me more than anyone ever did and I was scared i was never gonna find anyone like him again but I KNEW I deserved more – I kept comparing in my head how my life was before him and with him. I spent money on him and on showing him a good time in my country even though I didn’t want him here. Everything is a mess…just thinking of him with someone else makes me stop breathing and my heart stops Rick it’s like WHY am I also suffering even though I decided and always knew I didn’t want to be with him???!!!

      • I have a similar story…
        After two years of being single and finally meeting the man of my dreams (or so I thought) I decided to give this wonderful man a chance…. It took us just a month build such an incredible connection. I was certain that this man and I were meant for each other. He was and still is the most amazing, honest and caring man I have ever been with. But right after we decided to be exclusive he had gone out of state to visit his family…. We talked everyday while he was gone, 7 days later and after a month of us getting so close to each other he meets up with his ex of two years ago. She has recently broken up with her ex-boyfriend and I guess wanted my guy back. When he got back from vacation he told me we have to stop seeing each other because he is going back with her….. Now he is moving back to his home state to be with her. After two years of being broken up and one of not seeing each other. This has been one of the most painful experiences of my life. It came as a shock to me because there were no red flags. If I had any feeling there was a lingering ex, or if I would have asked… Maybe I would have walked away sooner. But we didn’t make any promises. He never lied. I never asked questions. It was too soon anyway. My point is, for the first time in my life I fell inlove, I fell hard. I love him but at this point, all I have are memories of what we could have been. I miss him dearly and sometimes wonder if he still thinks of me. We spent our last goodbye night together a week ago and I don’t regret it. I always hear that people that get back together are only happy for a few until they get back to the reason why they broke up to begin with. I always used to tell him he was too good to be true. And he was. It’s been a week since I last saw him. It crushed me when he said he is going to be with “the love of his life”. What makes a woman want her ex back after two years, specially after breaking up with the one she was with! ? And my guy (I wish he was my guy) has to be too much of an idiot to get back with someone who he needed to move out state to get away from her. Will they even work out? Honestly. I’m a hopeless romantic. And once in a while fantasize about him coming back to me and realizing that be can have something better with me. But those are just fantasy. I refuse to wait around. I have stopped talking to him. Sometimes I get angry and want to text him mean things but I know I shouldn’t. I have been able to put myself in his shoes and have realized that he is just a broken man looking for his happiness. If they are meant to be together, then I wish them all the luck in the world. Sometimes I get panic attacks just thinking of him marrying her and not me. It really hurts terribly. But one must cry it all out. My advice to anyone going through a heartbreak is this; allow yourself time to cry, listen to your song. Him and I have a song. It makes me cry every time I listen to it. It’s been 5 days since our last night together. I hope the crying stops. Surround yourself with people that care about you. It’s ok to get drunk a few times but do not drink text or call them. It would only make the pain worse and they will be annoyed with you. Always try to keep things classy…. Give them a good memory of you. I will never forget him. I know he will never forget me. I want to move on. I am trying my hardest to stay positive and not let depression get to me. It is the hardest thing to do. But healing a broken heart takes patient, a lot of soul searching and reading. Read other people stories. Know that you aren’t alone. I love Eddie’s site. I feel safe here. And I am sending a prayer to all of you with a broken heart. It is the most painful thing any human being can possibly experience. It does get better. Sometimes you have to love people from a distance. Allow them the freedom to find themselves and their happiness even if it doesn’t include you. Make sure you read and learn about the different stages of grief so you can recognize which one you are on and don’t get stuck. Feel the pain. Feel all of those emotions and learn to release them. Have faith that there is someone with a higher power looking after you. And love…. Leave your heart open and love again. I know that there is someone out there perfect for me, it’s just not the time now.

        • Arun Kumar says:

          Dear Lana,

          The last lines of your comments are wonderful. You have said write. “Sometimes we should love people from a distance. Allow them the freedom to find themselves and their happiness even if it doesn’t include you”. My love left me for marrying another guy. Without thinking of me once. What I will do without her. But still I love her. and your comments will help me get past her. Thanks and god give you strength.

  • A heart tugging story Warren. One that so many of us have been through including myself. I myself after my break up cried so hard I needed a cushion to muffle my cried from my neighbours……………that was 3 years ago, having probably only found inner comfort in the last 12 months. I never ever thought I would get over the heartache. I am not completely happy, but, certainly in a much better place, the one way I learnt to cope was to keep reminding myself WHY we could not be together a list of which is getting longer x

    • You know it has been three years. Last night she was in my dream again. So damn real. Always a little twist to keep it surreal. This time we were talking in the kitchen where she works as a chef. Her new restaraunt humming along. And then she left and I could see her get in the car from a distance. And the guy she left me for driving the car and she was in the backseat. And my only consolation was that at least in this dream version they were not still in the passionate throes but more like just moving ahead in the day to day. Hard when she visits me like that. She doesn’t haunt me like she did before but she hasn’t let go of her grip either. I would love to pry her dream fingers from their hold on my soul.

  • I love this audio especially because it is by a man. There is nothing more powerful then the realization that you are better off without your EX.
    It takes so long, it’s so hard but when you get there….it’s all worth it!!!

  • Warren gave great advice in a very concise manner. Also, I could empathize with his pain and perceptions of how daunting some of these obstacles appear to us at certain points on the timeline of getting over someone. It is always helpful to hear other brothers and sisters in mankind be where you are or where you are headed. That kindred feeling alone is an encouragement in and of itself.
    Thank you Warren for the audio.

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