Aloneness Is An Opportunity

Most of us are terrified to be alone after a break-up, even the introverts among us. What we often fail to realize is that aloneness, (NOT loneliness), is an opportunity to really get to know ourselves – once we manage to disassociate ourselves from the false notion that being alone is for freaks.

Maybe that’s what we are so afraid of.

This quote reminds us of that opportunity, and also points out that in there lies the ultimate freedom to explore our own potential and desires.

What aloneness offers us – if we allow it – is a vast, untapped source of happiness that is waiting for us to be discovered.

In solitude and meditation, we find fullness, the joy of being, and unlimited overflowing love.

All we have to do is have a tiny little bit of courage… and just try it.

Your friend,

P.S.  If you love this quote as I do, then please share it on Pinterest.

  • Dear Eddie,
    Thank you for the amazing advice. I am married for 22 years now, we have a teenage child. Unfortunately, for years I felt like I grew out of love. I suggested that we go through a divorce two years ago, however my husband did not want a divorce. I told him I needed time alone so I spent two years in our second property in Central America. This alone-time with our child has helped me tremendously; I am happy, stronger and felt recharged. The problem I am having now that we are back together is that I prefer to be alone. My husband is having a hard time accepting this.

  • A year after being together and lived-in together, she left me for reasons i find it unworthy for a break up and i felt it is fixable. Frequent arguments over small issues like her frequent mood swings which was increasing over the period which was gradually affecting me too. Plus some other issues she reasoned i was not giving much affection to her. Three weeks after the breakup she found a place to move in. That was when the reality slowly kicks in. I was all alone and feeling terribly lonely. Why? It is still a big void that i am trying to pull through. All the sudden her presence was not there. No sound, no presence. Especially the evenings time like 7.30pm or the weekends that when it begins to kill me. Because that was the time frame that she used to come home after work and we would head for dinner together, took some walks around and watched TV to tune in the nights. I tried to get out of my house and sit around the neighborhood so that i would not think of her absence, however it stills lingers in my mind. Even if i hang out with friends at those time frames, after awhile those thinking comes back to my mind. Before i got to know her, i remembered living alone well without feeling lonely at all for almost two years. I just don’t know why i would not feel alone but not lonely now. Anyway, i am still trying to adjust. It has been two months already. though there are many times the urge to contact her even to ask how is she doing… I am on Day 7 of NC now. Not seen her for a month now.

    • another challenge says:

      Hi Ben, how are you doing now, over a month on?

      I ask because I am dealing with exactly the same feelings after my ex of 2.5 years left our home, and never contacted me again, for almost no good reason. I am 9 days NC now and 3 weeks since I’ve seen her.

  • Eddie,
    Love your website. It’s been so very helpful the past few months. I found it just at the right time. Thank you so much.

  • For most people, whether they really know it or not, being alone for a reasonable period after a break up brings with it an opportunity for introspection and to renew ourselves. Many people do get scared of silence around the house, especially if they’re used to seeing their partner alongside them in the evenings and expect to hear comments or responses from general conversation. But this is the time to think and get clarity around thoughts and feelings that were perhaps stymied by the constant “noise” of a relationship and mechanically doing all the 101 other things that we do when we’re together.

    In my particular case, aloneness gave me a great chance to clear things up in my own mind and helped me understand, respect and look forward to those moments that we all need to get our heads on straight and become a better person.

  • Three years ago the guy I thought I’d grow old with cheated and then broke up with me. For the first two months I was in pain. I thank you Eddie for carrying me through that. Your advice helped me more than anyone/anything. It’s been a long journey but I am a stronger person today. I’ve learned so much about life and being happy with yourself. Keep those emails and your website active. Thanks for what you’ve taught me!

  • Not able to bring out something good from being alone.. some kind of inertia hold me back for hours.. and later the necessary routine job time demand you to move ..

    the thing which is unbearable is that all the time i am being aware that i am in a dead state even if there is possibility of a sparkling life.. feels terrible..

    He killed me twice by abondoning me killing myself everyday by doing the same..

  • Dear Eddie,

    I regard your actions on putting these advises as some sort of social service. Who knows how many souls around the globe you’ve helped from self sabotaging, suicides and etc.. May God repay your act of kind 🙂

  • i am trying to have no contact but my ex keep on calling and if i don’t pick up he would send an instant message claiming that he just wants to know how his daughters doing he is making it hard for me cause i’m so tempted to pick up or call back

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