A good friend asked me two years ago, a very fundamental question.
She said, “I wish I had a secret treasure map on how to escape my misery because I don't have the strength to think about it. Is there one?”.
This got me thinking.
I knew that achieving any goal requires the very same process.
No matter what you want, be it physical things or an inner state of happiness, you get it the same way.
“Who and where you are today is simply the result of your thoughts, feelings and actions up to this day.”
Whenever you are unsatisfied with your life, a particular situation, you'll ask for a new and improved condition.
A way things should be.
Be it to have a better job, to earn more money, to have a fulfilling relationship or simply to be the coolest guy/babe in the universe.
Any desired outcome needs something that you obviously don't have at the moment.
An inner state that would make this new reality possible.
Because believe it or not, every outer state follows an inner state or belief.
So who, and where you are today, is simply the result of your thoughts, feelings, and actions up to this day.
What this means is this:
You can reach every goal, every desired outcome by changing your beliefs, thoughts, feelings and eventually your actions.
I already hear your complaints.
“This sounds nice, but how do you accomplish something like that, changing a longstanding structure of thoughts and beliefs?”
I am going to show you how it's done, step by step.
A practical guide.
If you want to fulfill your dreams, find the guy/gal of your dreams, reach any goal, then read on, and you will understand.
- The existence of an adamant desire to achieve the outcome is essential.
You have to want it badly.Very useful is a critical absence of something that makes you want it even more like, a common example, having no money to pay the rent. A strong urge gets things moving.If you don't have this strong need, create it artificially. There are many ways to do this. Behind every need is an urge. Just intensify this urge.
If you want to be rich, tell all your friends that you're soon going to buy a Mercedes-Benz. The desire not to be seen as a liar intensifies your desire for money. If you want to find your dream girl/boy, well, there are many ways to reinforce this need.
You get the point.
- Take responsibility for your current situation. No one else is responsible for you. If you don't care, who else will?
- You must be aware that change is indispensable.
The person you are now, will not be able to accomplish your set goal. Embrace that change. Want it.
- Don't try to change reality; change to suit reality instead. You must be prepared to adopt another course if the previous one turns out to be wrong. “Be the water, not the rock.”
Step One – Fleshing Out
Take a pen and paper, and write out some ideas about what you really want, and why.
Take your time.
I believe that the writing process is a good way to sort out your thoughts and help you to concretize your true wishes.
This allows you also to evaluate them objectively. The better you define your goal, the faster you will achieve it.
Now the important part: set a final date on when you plan to achieve your goal.
Be realistic here. Most people overestimate what they can do in two months, but underestimate what they can achieve in two years.
Just write down a date, develop one powerful declarative sentence, and post it all over your place.
Don't take this lightly, for this is a critical step.
Step Two – Identifying Fears And Obstacles
Take out your pen and paper again, and this time write down what fears and obstacles you would expect.
Don't think much about it, just write them down one below the other.
Ask yourself the following questions:
What may prevent me from success?
What fears may come up?
What or who may get in my way?
Write it down!
Are there self-limiting beliefs? Like, “I don't deserve happiness,” “I'm worthless,” “money is evil,” etc.
Write them down!
After you have made the list, go down every point separately and write a possible solution directly beneath it.
Being aware of these fears and obstacles, and then how you can overcome them, takes away their power.
Since you then recognize them, you can immediately oppose them, and eventually, they may turn out to be powerless.
Always keep that list up-to-date. There may come some obstacles you hadn't thought of.
Step Three – The Visualization & Affirmation
If you dig more deeply about visualization, you will discover that this is indeed the very nature of reality and matter.
If you want to go deeper into it right now, this is the best book on that score. I recommend it to everybody, and I read it very often.
I will go into visualization in more detail another time, for now here is a short “how-to”:
Go to a place of quiet, and bring yourself into a relaxed position. Close your eyes. I want you to get in a state of deep relaxation.
Now visualize that you've already reached your goal.
Image it in as much detail as possible. Feel it. Enjoy it, be happy that you finally succeeded.
Not only see in your mind but feel, hear, smell. Make it as realistic as possible.
Do this for at least 15 minutes in the morning after waking up, and again in the evening before you go to bed.
I know this is not easy in the beginning, but when you are disciplined and do this every day, you will go faster into a state of relaxation, and the images will become clearer.
Now, I want you to take 10 minutes of your lunch time, sit down and write affirmations.
Write down your goal that you've defined in step one into one statement. Keep it positive and in the present.
Don't write, “I will be rich one day”. Write instead, “I am rich and prosperous.”
Don't write, “Someday I will meet this amazing guy.” Write, “I'm married to a wonderful man who loves me madly.”
Write your affirmation 25 times every day on your lunchtime.
This is a very powerful tool. It's the heart and soul of the five steps.
Step Four – Plan Of Action
After you have done step three for a week, your mind will come up with ideas of a plan how to accomplish your goal.
Put it on paper.
Here again, go into detail.
Don't just write, “have to go out more often,” write, “going out on Saturday to club x.”
Refine this again, with who you will go out with and exactly when.
Take out the list from step one again.
Take a look at your final achievement date and work out an exact timetable.
Again, be as accurate and detailed as you can be.
In the end, you will have a fully detailed agenda on how to reach your goal.
Step Five – The Realization
By now, you should have a strong desire and willingness to:
- achieve what you want; the knowledge of exactly what you want
- know the obstacles and how to combat them
- have the secret tool for making things happen
- and finally, the precise agenda of how to act every single day until the achievement of the objective
Now put it into action.
You have done a great job so far, but if you don't act, it was all for nothing.
Should you lose motivation, increase your desire.
Should you encounter fears, fight them, (you know how).
The visualization and affirmation process will make it easy for you.
Trust me on this one.
That's it! Easy, isn't it?
Maybe there should be a step six, which is: “receive in thankfulness.”
And you shall receive. I know that you will.
My friend did so some time ago, and now she is living the life she always dreamed about.