What Pain Has Taught Me The Hard Way

what pain can teach you

I would like to share with you what I’ve learned the last two weeks when I was tied to a hospital bed in agonizing pain.

I suffered for over 48 hours, from pain that was so overwhelming that all other reality was blurred out – until an emergency operation finally saved me from madness.

Pain so intense like that is absolute. It’s all there is. Another reality, another existence. You are all physical. Nothing left of your spiritual part, so it seems.

In fact, I tried all of the meditation techniques I knew, (and I am quite experienced with this), to get rid of the pain, but nothing worked.

So finally I gave up and surrendered to it.

Know what I’m talking about?

All there is, is pain

You know in moments like that, all you want is this pain to stop – you would do anything, take any medication. And behind all that, like a lurking giant, is this fear, the defeating fear that the pain will never end, that it will go on forever.


Would this be the case, I would have to kill myself, so I thought. Luckily, this was out of the question, (as it should always be), because the operation set things back to normal.

But what I experienced over those excruciating 48 hours, (besides that even the toughest narcotics had no impact on me), was something very interesting:

I observed that there are actually two different persons in me.

No, I’m not going nuts, and I’ve not developed a split personality.

The power within us

I actually observed that there was this one person that winded in pain like a worm, moaning over his terrible fate, and yet another one, a much stronger one. A personality, who doesn’t seem to be impacted by the whole thing: An almighty observer inside of me.

I know, I know, this really sounds crazy.

But it actually approves what I have read in many books: That there is a higher version of yourself inside of you.

It goes from the Bible to Freud, to “The Secret“.

A higher version of ourselves with the power of self-healing.

This was not the first time that I noticed the presence of this part of me, (and it WAS a part of ME). At times through a stroke of fate, when life really hit me hard – there it was, watching, observing, not judging, as it was sucking up life in all its facets.

I leave it to you how to call this part of you if you WANT to give it a name, (and I know every one of us has it inside of themselves, and its own definition if aware of it).

I am certain that this part of me could have healed me completely in a second if only I had known how to make use of it.

I’m sure that there are people in the world who know how to do this. The internet is full of stories of spontaneous healings, and only heaven knows how much of them happen every day without anybody knowing about it.

All I know for now is that it’s there.

What I’ve learned

What I’ve learned in this two weeks is that no pain lasts forever, be it physical or emotional pain and that we have the power in our own hands to heal ourselves, (of course, I knew all of this before, but an experience like this brings it more close to you).

To self-heal emotional pain that is torturing us, for example after a breakup or a loss, seems much easier and there are many ways to approach this, (just take a look around this site).

To self-heal physical pain and diseases just by altering your state of mind seems to be A LOT more complex and is something humanity has yet to learn.

But, in what I absolutely believe in, is that we alone create our reality. And thereby will our inner emotional conflicts manifest themselves as illnesses. A logical conclusion here is that by solving these emotional conflicts, you can heal the illness.

All you would have to do is to get to the emotional core of this illness, resolve it and it will vanish.

There are really many books on this topic, which give a greater insight.

The book that comes to my mind first is, You Can Heal Your Life, by Louise Hay, which is really a great book. Louise Hay healed herself from cancer by realizing her deepest emotional pain, her hatred against her father.

So, if you happen to be in emotional or physical pain, look out for that “almighty observer” in you – he might help you.

SSomedaywe all WILL realize that to heal ourselves we do not have to go to a doctor, the power is already within us.

Of course, this is easier said than done, especially when the doctors cured you recently from killing pain.

If you have had similar thoughts or experiences or book recommendations on this matter, please feel free to share them in the comments section. Thanks.

Your friend,
Eddie Corbano

(Photograph is a courtesy of Ali K.)

  • Hi,

    I would love to book a session, I have a long complex situation and need urgent assistance

    I’m in love with two women

    2009 I met my spouse, and we started a relationship, she is a wonderful woman, loving, caring, fun, everything a man can ask for in a woman, she was still studying, I assisted her in paying fees, everything was great till today, she is everything to me
    2010 I bought a town house we moved in together, enjoyed every single day even when I was upset with something, I will just keep it to myself, I don’t like fighting at all, she is not perfect, but I love her
    2011, I paid lobola just before birth of our son, amazing baby boy, I love my family with everything I have, they bring joy into my life, each and every smile touches within, I love them, they love me two, some point in life where I had to drive to remote areas, like Venda, Vryburg, New caslte, Mpumalanga and had to sleep over, but the moment I think about them I just start a car and drive back even in the middle of the night,
    2012 I got her a job she worked, we got another better offer for her in Kempton park, it was long distance, I saved and bought her a second hand car, made it nicer so she can look pretty on it, things where perfect for my family, I thought her how to drive today she can drive till KZN on her own

    My family adores her, they love her,
    2015 she lost her job, she has been home for some time now, I love her, I still try my best to provide for my family

    As for me, I’m not a perfect guy, but in everything I always put them first

    2010 late, I met this lady at the wedding of my friend, I tried to asked her out, but she refused, thought I was a player and that I was going to break her heart, same as my spouse that is what she thought when we first met but we ended up dating

    Back to her, then we started to meet, this woman, she reminded me of my spouse each and every day we spent together, she is amazing, smart, beautiful, everything I could ask for, as her and I started dating, she asked, if I had a baby, I said yes, she didn’t want to continue as she didn’t want to deal with a baby mama drama, but I convinced her, WOW, I loved this woman, I wish her and I had spent more time together, it was sad every time, I had to drop her off, about my relationship, I had to make up stories, I remember at some point I told her, my spouse and I were breaking up and I was not happy, and I couldn’t deal with the fact of leaving my son, I was there for my son, but my spouse and I were very happy, I didn’t enjoy what I was going through.

    I created emails and chatted to my girl pretended it was my spouse, trying to convince her that we should be together in this thing, I bought another phone pretended it was my spouse, honestly my girl tried and tried to let go of her and I, she didn’t want to live like this, she wanted a man that would love her get married and build a family , and I was not giving her that, but as time went by, she loved and loved me even more, she is a Christian, I come from the same background, my spouse was not a Christian when we met
    My girl then broke up with me, we didn’t see each other for months and she moved on with her life, she met this guy, the guy asked to marry her, she agreed, oohh this was her second proposal, before her and I, she was dating this guy, and they were planning to get married, date issued busy preparing everything, until her and I started seeing each other, she cancelled everything, we then dated, second time around, same thing happened, this guy, was due to pay lobola, until her and I met, we reconnected everything went back to normal, but she didn’t want to do all this because she was going through a lot, she loved me, she is so in love with me, each and every day we spend together, its so amazing, she is my soulmate, both of them they are my soul mate, I have never felt so in love with anyone like how I feel with these women, Its like a don’t see another women only them, anyway
    About three months ago, my spouse went through my phone and she called, she asked if she knew me, and my girl said, yes and her and I were dating and in love, she told her, she was waiting for my spouse to let go so my girl and I could be together, my spouse was then shocked because I told her she was my friend’s girlfriend

    Then my spouse corrected her, that there is no such thing, her(my spouse) and I where happy and there was no such thing as we were breaking up.

    They started chatting a lot, and how I lied to both of them, they were not mad at each other, they were very hurt, each day they were crying and I couldn’t do anything, then they decided to meet, me and my girl as usual lunch time, we meet and eat together, she invited me, I went, collected her from work, got to the restaurant, my spouse was sitting there, they both asked me to sit down, I did, they even hugged and complimented each other, of how beautiful they looked, it was a moment of my life seeing my future wives smiling together, anyway, they then asked for once if I can be honest with them and choose who I love and wanted to be with, I then told them I can’t chose, I love both of them, and I wish we could be together, and that was the truth, that’s how I felt, I couldn’t, they both told me they don’t want to be with me anymore, and that I should stay away from them, my spouse moved out and my girl didn’t want to see me again, I then lost everything, I then gave them space to recover, I then went to asked them to come back into my life, I love them and they both did

    Today were are together with both of them, I keep promising my spouse that I’m working to erase my feelings for her, but the fact is I still love her, she still cries about it

    Anyway my girl and I things are getting more and more complex, because I met up with her parents and asked if I can bring my family to come pay lobola, we have set a date,

    I went to my mom and told that I can’t get over this woman, I love her I love them I wish I could be with both, I have attended all counselling from pastors to professionals I just can’t let go Please help me, I know its selfish, hurting others but I can’t, I tried to move to another location permanently, I came back after couple of days,

    Please if anyone had been in this situation please advice, on wat to do

  • This article confirms something that I have been feeling inside myself for some years now. There is something more to us all, and I am certain every one of us on this earth is connected somehow by invisible ties.

    During my breakup, I came to a stage where I simply overwhelmed myself with so much pain, hate and sorrow that I simply didn't want to live anymore. I commanded my heart stop and poured my energy into making this happen while I lie on the sofa. Within minutes, my heart starts beating very erratically and each beat was so strong that I felt it was going to kill me, I felt like I was shutting down.

    I managed to stop myself though, I can't remember what I did or thought but I managed to stop myself.
    From that day I've been thinking about energy and thoughts. My thoughts and feelings that were so powerful (yet not actually real or happening) managed to create an energy that affected me in the real world causing real physical pain and endangered my life in a very real way.
    From nothing I created a powerful life threatening energy, by sheer force of will.

    What is a thought? Something we create from nothing. Thoughts create feelings, feelings that guide us, shape us. As you read my writing now you are saying the words in your head, creating them from nothing, so in turn this leads me to believe there is a plain of existence where our thoughts reside. Or rather, ALL thoughts reside, thus creating the connection between us all.

    There were other, less dramatic events that happened in my earlier life that also made me sit back and think. The event mentioned above really confirmed it all to me.

    One question I do ask though, Is how it seems to be that negative energy is far easier to harness and channel then positive energy? This seems to be a universal truth too. The empowerment you can gain from negative feelings like anger, hate, loathing, despair seem to far outweigh the positive counterparts…

    Either way Eddie, you are right. There is far more to us then we can begin to imagine. I believe I can explore it more, and I intend to as I grow.

  • Tara Wilder says:

    YOu have touched my heart and my soul. Thank you

  • I’ve been with my current ex for a little over a year. Things started to get different recently and we broke up today. We both love each other with every ounce of fluid in our bodies and I’m hurting more than I thought anyone could ever understand. I have to beat the fact in my mind that maybe him & I aren’t good for each other even though I could have sworn to the gods we were made for each other. It hurts in more ways explainable but I must say that after reading various pieces of advice from your site I feel like I just might have a meaning without him after all. Even though he left me I composed a note to let him know how serious I am about working on life now by myself because I already know how big the possibility is that we might get back together. You can put this up by ‘anonymous’ if you please. I just feel so strongly that because love is universal & the reason why were here.. Someone will be inspired by this..

    “I’ve literally cried until I was numb over the thought of loving you without you by my side. I could have sworn I found the meaning of love with you. You made me feel like life is worth it. & For you to hurt me burns deeper than you can ever imagine. I can’t even imagine that I’d let you hurt me again so I have to let you go for good so it doesn’t get worse in the future. We got so comfortable with each other that we forgot to love the right way. How can we ever spend years together ( like we planned ) if we can’t be comfortable together? I will always remember you & never forget you but up until we see what the future holds for us we need to be apart.

    Love your Baby always,

  • Morgan Faye says:

    I too fear being considerd the local froot-loop, but hey, I now happen to be in a state of nessicary & self inflicted “evolution” into.. well I’m not THERE yet but lets say I’m trying to re-boot, & i gotta lay it all on the line so here i go. Im not saying Im special I’m simply making the logical assertation after careful observiance of all persons in totallity I have come into contact with throughout my lifespan..
    I have always had the sense that myself & all others are equiped with all one would need to thrive (untill thier wisdom had mounted & physical selfvs were depleated, completing THIS particular “round” of life) and yet we were not to the point in civilization where we could commonly access these abilities, simply put were much too primitive yet to use our brain to its full capasity, our growth mostly being stunted be our less evolved drive for immediate entertainment & lacking the inititive required in self educating. I cearly remember contemplating this 11 years ago, in a strangers front yard picking stickers out of my favorite (& only)summer dress. I was 5.
    I honestly, truely had no clue that this was a little off the norm until recently, i was under the mis conception that philosophy, logic, psychology & spirituality were the cornerstines of everyones rational thoughts.
    A little sheltered, went from home schooled to housewife in a breath, and quite possibly loosing my mind. ~ Thank You for your time
    But hey, we’ll get there some day! You can start now by turning off the t.v. and reading a book!

  • unfortunately for me pain is the only emotion i feel,i wish i had anger or bitterness but for my butterfly all i feel is love.your words are inspirational and true, yet after having my heart crushed enough times,words are not yet the answer.i find self hate and suffering to be my only friend. crying my weakness and time my enemy.i dislike my ways with regards to love as im always the “loser” but not really because if you love with your whole self then no one can say it was a mistake,it just wasnt meant to be.

  • @ Cindy

    If you think that the break up was the right decision, then it was.

    Just keep in mind that you probably WILL get depressed and lonely sometimes, but it’s part of the process and it will pass.

    Always keep in mind that you’ve made the right step toward the relationship YOU want.


  • I recently broke up with my boyfriend of ten years. we were always back and forth. He just keeps doing the same thing over and over. I just let him go. I am happy now, its only been two days now. I just a little scared I will start feeling sad and depressed as times goes on. What can I do if I was to feel so unsure of myself again.

  • I really enjoyed another one of your great articles. I went through a pretty tough break up last October. I discovered the book “The Secret” it helped me immensely, but I have unfortunately fallen back into a really bad funk. I am trying to find my way back to my true self. Trying to find my positivity again. I’m looking for some good meditation techniques if anyone has any suggestions. Thank you

  • searchingwithin says:

    I truly believe that all disease is created by our emotions, and beliefs, however, many of our “triggers” were formed when we were children, and all are controlled by our subconscious mind. That is why I believe so strongly in self-hypnosis, meditation and NLP; I believe they are the only way to understand and see what is hidden in the subconscious, and/or change it.

    Great article.

  • Hot Alpha Female says:

    Man i love the stuff that you are blogging about.

    Coz i soo get it!!

    Ok so here is the thing. I heard a saying once and i love it and live by it.

    “In time all things shall pass”.

    I think the reason why i love it so much is because it affirms to me that nothing last forever. Its almost reassuring.

    So when times are tough and you are in pain ( emotional physical mental) its very comforting to know that you will get through it.

    That there is light at the end of the tunnel.


    Hot Alpha Female

    Latest Post – Talk is cheap and so are YOU!

  • The Brain That Changes Itself by Norman Doidge, MD is also very good and discusses the same topics. It’s amazing what people are learnig today about the brain. Positive thinking can be very powerful.

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