… And By Doing So, Getting Over Him For Good.
(FREE Breakup Survival Email Mini-Course Sign-Up is at the bottom of this page. But please read this page entirely BEFORE signing up. It is essential that you do. After you’ve read it, please take a moment and really think about what it means.)
I hope by now you have realized that getting him back might not be in your best interest.
Then your one goal is clear:
Stop obsessing over him.
Stop loving him.
Isn’t it a curious thing that after all the suffering and all the things your Ex might have done, you still haven’t stopped loving him?
Chances are that you are also still idealizing him – putting him up on a pedestal:
“No one was ever a better partner than he.”
“No one could ever understand me better than he.”
“No one would ever be as attractive as he.”
“No one was ever better to my kids than he.”
And its culmination:
“I will never find a partner like him.”
(If your Ex was a narcissist, you might find yourself additionally in a neverending loop of self-questioning.)
When you believe things like that – even if you can’t help it –Â you are contributing to the main problem:Â not being able toÂ let go, still emotionally clinging to him.
You are prolonging your healing time significantly.
Our primary goal should be – and I know how much you want it – to not just stop obsessing, and to un-love your Ex, butÂ to get completely over him.
But what does that really mean?
What does that feel like?
- You are able to stand in front of him, talk to him, andÂ feel no negative emotionsÂ whatsoever.
- You have given up the idea of having any future with him.
- YouÂ don’t allow himÂ to pull you into a negative behavior pattern.
- He has entirelyÂ lost powerÂ over you.
- You now realize that the partnershipÂ wasn’t that idealÂ after all (or you now realize the full scope of his narcissism).
- You finally understand what went wrong and how toÂ make futureÂ relationshipsÂ last.
A “right” recovery leads into that kind of realization.
It’s a deeper understanding of all the things that lie beneath the pain and suffering (important!) –
A deeperÂ understanding ofÂ YOU.
And with such an understanding comes a clearer picture of what youÂ really want in a relationship – andÂ what a potential future partner might look like.
But we don’t realize something like that right at the beginning (sadly, most people not even after years).
I know that finding new love is the furthest thing on your mind right now, but it’s important to realize that you must take the right steps NOW in order to lay out the foundation for it.
Because the very thing that will free you NOW is also the thing that will enable you to find new love later –
WhenÂ you are ready for it.
Many people don’t know that. They take the shortcut.
They apply a bandage on a mortal wound and hope it will heal overnight without a scar.
So what exactly is aÂ “right” recovery?
After a long relationship or marriage, we tend to lose the person we really are because we want it to work.
We compromise ourÂ ownÂ soÂ essential needs.
When the breakup or divorce happens, we find ourselves paralyzed by the notion of having to continue living without them.
The reason for that isÂ the false beliefÂ that we really don’t have anything left worth living for.
Having the kids … is that enough?
Being the caretaker … is that enough?
WHAT is it that WE need?
The answer is – we need ourÂ “selves.”
We need to gain the understanding thatÂ MEÂ is enough.
Me … is all I need.
This is precisely what going through a “right” recovery really means:Â to put yourself back into the center of YOUR lifeÂ –
… and reallyÂ lovingÂ it and being okay with it.
That is when your life will change for the better and magical things will happen (as it happened to me).
So what is the first step to achieving all this?
What is theÂ ONE thingÂ you can do right NOW to get on theÂ right path?
The very first step is toÂ understand the nature of your pain and your obsession towards HIM.
When you truly UNDERSTAND everything that is internally going on with you, THEN you will have the courage to face what you need to do.
It’ll be much easier then.
THEN you can make the connection and take the right steps towards freeing yourself.
Hey, so THAT is why I can’t stop thinking of him. It’s NOT because I love him so much…
Epiphanies open the way to the next stage of your recovery.
What is it exactly that you need to understand about the nature of your pain that is so important?
Why can’t I stop obsessing over him even though I know that he’s bad for me?
Why am I so afraid to start the recovery and really deal with this stuff?
What can I do to effectively stop thinking about him?
WHAT is blocking me?
Why do I have the same relationship my whole life?
If you know the answers to those questions, then you’ve come a long way.
The rest is just perseverance and the willingness to push through the pain (that's doable with the right tools).
How do I know?
Because I’ve been there myself, and because I’m teaching this since 2005.
I really want YOU to learn this so that you can stop obsessing over him and start living YOUR life.
That’s why I’ve put together a FREE mini-course to help.
In the first lesson, I explain what's really behind the obsessing over him.
And from there, I’ll take you down a rabbit hole where you will learn how to transform yourself after this breakup.
A journey that has been successfully made by tens of thousands of other breakup survivors just like you.
By joining this free, 8-lesson course, you'll receive actionable email lessons that cover:
- the reason you can’t stop obsessing over him
- the most essential component to your recovery
- how to finally stop thinking about him
- why you are conditioned to not let go of him
- why you keep running into the same partner over and over again
This free email course is not for everyone.
But if you are serious about taking the right steps to finally get over him and move on, THIS is for you.
If you are interested, you can subscribe over here:
“I seriously do not think I would have got through my sadness without your brilliant advice, your encouragement and your relentless support and I thank you with all my heart Eddie, I can never possibly thank you enough, I have recommended you to folk going through the same awful experience, you are a Godsend to anyone who is suffering this way, my warmest regards.” —Steve
Your friend and coach,
Author of the DETOX System and founder of LovesAGame.com