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10 Rules To Make Long Distance Relationships Work

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long distance relationshipsNearly everyone has been involved in a long distance relationship at some point in their life.

Most of us have failed to maintain it, and have inevitably broken up, even though it may have been a promising relationship.

Why is that so? What are the common reasons for breaking up in those relationships, and how can you make them work?

To begin with, I was there myself.

A good friend of mine gave my e-mail address to his wife’s best friend. Shortly after that, she dropped me a line. So we got to know each other. By e-mail.

The great thing about e-mail communication is that there are no games. At least there shouldn’t be. You can present yourself as the person you are.

You can truly open up.

So we fell in love just for the people we were. No masks, no shields. But still 2000 miles apart.

Of course, the critical moment was when we first met. Would the picture we had of each other synchronize with the outer picture? If you’ve been dishonest, then you will fail at this point.

Luckily, it worked out for us.

Long distance relationships can result from a number of reasons. Here are some of the common scenarios:

  • You’ve met in a chat room or an online personal site, and realized in the end that you were several states away from each other.
  • You recently graduated college and have moved back to your home town, while your boyfriend or girlfriend has stayed in the college town.
  • At work you’ve been promoted and sent to a new city for an important program, and will be in that location for several months.

Those kind of relationships have both advantages and disadvantages.

For some, the distance is a good way to slowly open up to the relationship without the incessant presence of the partner. The romance stays kindled because you aren’t around the person 24/7, having to see various habits and routines that can get repetitive.

In terms of disadvantages, it is very frustrating that there is no intimacy, no hugging, no kissing – at least between the meetings. You will experience difficulties in connecting because you don’t have eye contact, and can’t take walks or enjoy dinners out together.

Then again, that makes the meetings so much more intense than they would be in a “normal” relationship. It’s the quality, not the quantity.

It can work, but there are some rules and guides you have to follow.

Of course, there is also a very important condition that without, any long term relationship will not work:

You must have a true interest in each other.

I mean a deep, emotional connection, whether you’ve been together before the spacial separation or you’ve just met each other through chat or e-mail.

I’m afraid a physical attraction is not enough. That’s why most summer vacation affairs fail in the end.

Here are the rules that made my personal long distance relationship work:

512 Responses to 10 Rules To Make Long Distance Relationships Work

  1. BabiiDee July 23, 2011 at 5:21 am #

    i havent been on this since early last year  and  ive recently been reading different peoples storys and their experiences of a long distance relationship and its amazing  how all of our storys connect with true love its shows how our relationships are the strongest from normal ones and how as individuals we hold on tight to our relationships. long distance relationships are not the easiest but it shows when u trully love someone u would do what ever it takes to be with them.

    from since last year since i last wrote in here we are still together <3  so thats 2  years  now and counting :) i went from a 14 year old to a 16 still mainting a long relationship especailly long distance as such a premature age and tht just shows love had no limits.

    i have  given advice to many people both here and in real life, i have felt everything there is to feel in a ldr and  i am happy to advice anyone on their relationships from my experience.

    there are so many interssting storys on here that shows long distances  relationship do last and eventually u marry that person.

    its the distance alone that brings the couples closer  as they learn more about eachother and trully learn to know the person inside and out  and the more the learn the deeper they fall.

    long distance relationships are not the easiest but are the strongest and i wish everyone good luck in theirs. <3

    • Hannah January 13, 2014 at 12:38 am #

      It would be such a help to get advice from you. Is there anyway we could get in touch?

    • michael April 2, 2014 at 6:00 am #

      What an amazingly sweet email from such a wise teen.

    • kimzy May 2, 2014 at 4:36 am #

      I have read your article and i can safely say it have been informative to me, for i too have found myself in a long distance relationship over a year now . I’m yet to see him in person,we fight alot since i have trust issues with men because of my previous relationship. We love and care for each other to last this long but the problem is he stays in the united states and i’m from the caribbean. The other one who can visit is him. Any Advice for me.?….

      Thanks Much….

    • Joy June 15, 2014 at 4:09 pm #

      Hi am Joy from Philippines this my first time to comment here and my story is I met this person in the dating site and we both in love each other but for me i love him more than he loves me ..am here in Saudi I work as a home caregiver i taking care of an old man ..last April 24 my patient sent in the hospital because we need to move in i new house so the Doctors and the Nurses who took cared of her coz am not allowed to taking care of her on the hospital coz am not connected any hospital or my Eqama we called of working permit is not caregiver..Am not often to chat since i came here coz they are very strict and I need to focus my work no phone and computer inside my patient room there have cameras one day when the old woman is in the hospital so i have time to relax and i went this dating site for awhile and i saw him and picked him i sent him a message i like his children i was just admired his children when he replied at me and this is what he replied on me :

      Dear Ligaya,

      Thank you for the compliment about my kids. I have been single for almost 2 years now. I have been divorced for almost 5 years. I also am new to this website. I would let to find true love as well. My father just married a women from the Philippines back in October. He is very happy and she has good values unlike a lot of women in the US. Do you have a Facebook?

      I was so flattered and am exciting to chat with him because for the first time i have him to chat with but suddenly i fell in love this person just like i meet him before or in my past life i dono what’s the feeling i had that time we both in love he made me a lot of stuff that he prove me how i really mean to him..now the problem i can’t use computer or phone all the time coz the children of the old man is very particular of this stuff ..the old man is the brother of my lady who i taking care now and my boss is a princess she’s the one who paying on me monthly ..now the problem and big deal to him is my fb accounts i have a lot of fb accounts but god knows i offer my life to god there’s no involved man in my fb accounts only i do have is my x boyfriend followed me because i have a child from my x he haven’t seen the child since i gave birth because he left me and he got married to another woman and his wife can’t bear anymore a child then after so many years my child is growing up in own support ..that’s the reason behind my fb accounts ,i explained to this person i fell in love with but he still doubting on me..heavenly knows how i feel ,how important he is to me am willing to grow old with him and die for him ..this love i felt for him is very different than before ..last June 3, 2014 i celebrate my 1 month ..my connection stuck almost 1 week but i still sending txt to him to his phone, am the one find the ways that our communication still maintain i love him so much .. i dono how can i prove that i love him he is the one and ever made me smile and the happiness i feel right now i can’t figured it out..i want to meet him but i cant afford i wan to surprise him i want to meet him before i die..i never felt this before never…his name is Christopher Terry Lynn he is in Goochland Virginia USA ..i hope somebody can help me ..i can call myself crazy or stupid for love….

    • kayla July 19, 2014 at 8:48 pm #

      Hey.. im in a LDR (im 14) he is older. And we want it to work out… Last untill im 18.
      How can we make this work?
      He always tells me that his mind is set and he knows im the one and I agree he is the one for me too, but how can I leave out all the negative thoughts out of my head? Because I know negative thought can bring you down and eventually it wont work out. How could I keep my LDR going? We are about 2,000 miles apart.

  2. IlluminatedbyHim July 29, 2011 at 7:05 pm #

    This is wonderful!  Very foundational advice here.  So many people suggest how to have phone sex or something stupidly superficial like that.  I appreciate your advocating romance in your article.

  3. Crystal July 30, 2011 at 5:03 pm #

    Thank you soo much for this article..i became very muh more confident reading this because my parents say that my relationship will not work because next year im moving to texas and hell stay in new york….but were already two hours apart! 9 months already…..8 months we havent seen eachother..ad we love echother like never before….i just want to say thank you very much for this……….i know….we can make it :)

  4. Guest456 July 31, 2011 at 4:55 am #

    Wow..this is so similar to my story…and after reading yours and your outlook on it, it has been inspiring. Its the same with me and this guy, I know I have very strong feelings for him and he said he likes me too but Idk how strong his feelings are for me…

  5. Randolphfoster August 9, 2011 at 1:48 am #

    I, R. Foster, from Trinidad in the Caribbean, aged 62 have a long-distance relationship with a 47 year old highly religious female who met me while I was working at the U.S.C. in Trinidad, as a Security Officer. She, with two (2) degrees was doing Coleportering — selling religious books. She offered me one, and I promised to pay her in three (3) days time, and that was the start of a very deep relationship that lasted four (4) months before she left for her homeland in Guyana, because she was getting serious difficulties procuring a job with a religious link, and no other kind in more prosperous Trinidad. We only had about 8 to 10 meetings in Trinidad at her place (brother’s residence) where while studying the Bible and going to her Church  –  A Seventh Day Adventist in Maracas, St. Joseph we expressed our great love for one another.  She matter-of-factly asked if I would consider marriage, and at the outset I said, I wasn’t the marrying type as I lived’ with four (4) different women and the relationships ended. I said I had two (2) grown children aged 35 and 34 at the time. She didn’t mind.  But for the 9 months she is back in her country, my, nor her love has not diminished — in fact it has gotten stronger I feel.  But there is a humongous problem.  Because of her strict upbringing, she dosen’t trust no one and has a great fear of any marriage breaking up before death. She dosen’t want to hear such, otherwise no marriage.  That’s why at 47 she is still unmarried and claims to be a virgin still never having penetrative sex.  But, I do love her as I never loved another woman in my life. And would wait until whenever.  Of great significance is, she has never once gotten vexed with me in front my face and in our E-mail and Skype sessions.  She is my Queen

  6. Abanadoraileen August 15, 2011 at 8:47 am #

    Thank you so much for this wonderful & positive advice for us who are in a LDR. I am much more confident & really i love him so much:)  Talking & texting over the phone every day is really helpful. Loving each other more everyday,trust, being faithful, time for each other,sweet moment thru phone,reminiscing our 1st times as a sweetheart & PLANNING for our future is our main foundation in our LDR.  Hoping our LDR will long last forever & god will be the center of our love:)

  7. Eddie Corbano August 24, 2011 at 6:17 pm #

    Hi Amari,

    Thanks for the “essay” :), I love your positivity and optimism. One can only profit from such an attitude.

    Thank you for contributing.

    Eddie

    • Amari August 25, 2011 at 6:01 am #

      Thank you Eddie! Your article really did reaffirm my positivity and helped cement that I was doing the best I can. Thank you for such a good read!

    • Eileen March 19, 2013 at 5:47 am #

      Dear Eddie,
      I have been in a LDR for more than 10 years. I love my man very much and we live on different continents! We only see each other twice a year. He has visited me and i have visited him. I am trying to be positive but can’t help thinking that he is not committed. Unlike what you “suggest” – there must be a light at the end of the tunnel. We have never put a definite time to end this LDR. His comment is “things will work out in the end. Have faith” when i tell him how i felt. Always take me on a guilt trip if we end this LDR and something should go wrong!
      All those sleepless nights .. all the tears. I do my best never to reveal all this when we talk on the phone (15-20 minutes) or IM (30 minutes) daily. Now I feel that I have become very dishonest cheat by hiding my feeling and just talk cheerfully when we are “together”. The rest of the 23.5 hours, I am depress. I cry and i become moody. i love him and do not want to loose this relationship. We have been through so much the last 10 years. I just want us going to bed and waking up together everyday instead of twice a year!
      Most of my friends who were in a LDR have already got married after 1 – 2 years courtship and some have children now. I am still in here after 10 years!

      • Susie March 30, 2013 at 5:03 am #

        Dear Eileen,

        I just wanted to tell you that we shared the same situation. I have been dating the same man for nearly 10 years, and we also live in different continents. The only difference is that, we just started to be in long distance last 2 years. We always think that one day, we will get married. But like your situation, we don’t have plans to end this distance between us. In this case, I really hope that you and I can both talk it out with our man. We need to at least have a plan, or compromise. It’s either we move to stay closer to them, or they move to stay closer to us. If not, just to be fair for us both, we both can move together to a new place, like what Eddie suggested.

        I admit that I myself also cry few times a week, afraid that this relationship will fail or end. Sometimes, I get worried and anxious over small things that happen between us and can’t help being negative. This all happened ever since we both have started to be realistic about this relationship, which will not work with the distance. We don’t have much things to share or to talk about during our phone conversation or weekly skype meet up. We were physically and emotionally attached before he moved away. So, we can’t function well with this distance.

        I see friends our getting engaged and married, and I have started to get worried about this. We need to work out a plan. If you don’t have obligations over your place, unlike me (I am still doing my postgraduate studies in my home country), you can consider moving over to stay with him to work things out.

  8. Brooke Angelle September 11, 2011 at 3:24 am #

    i def needed to read this post. i am feeling the exact same way as you. thanks for posting your comment. this makes me feel so much better. i hope i can do what u r doing and be positive and have faith in him

  9. Ejr James September 23, 2011 at 11:30 pm #

    DAMMMMMMNNNNNNNNNNN i hella feel u im a boy but i got a girl in atlanta and she hella far away she like 21 hrs away but omgosh i feel u its hard i have the same connection omgosh ( crying ) 

    • tiffany October 15, 2013 at 6:43 am #

      My bf and I met online last year. We exchanged information and had a Skype date and we have been together ever since. We live hundred of miles away a y from each other. At first he was hesitant about being in a LDR but I was persistent and took steps needed to reassure him that I was for real about us being together. I was just as scared because I was betrayed before. I made plans to spend Christmas together but I couldn’t wait so we decided to meet before and boy let me tell you, we both knew from that day that we wanted each other badly!

      After our first meet up we started to really question how real and spiritually right everything felt. We had clearly a physical connection but the strongest connect that we share is that we are truly in synch with one another. Next month will make 1 year that we have been together.within the 1 year we have seen each other six times so far. Our goal was to try and see each other ever other Month or whenever one of us had significant time off from work. I visited more because my work schedule was flexible plus I decided from a discussion we had that I would move to him because it w a s easier for me. He wanted to move to be with me but getting a job in my state for him was not that promising, plus he didn’t w as my to take a huge pay cut in his salary if he did move.

      Getting to the point lately we have been arguing, I feel as if he is being distant with me because I am not there with him physically. He h a s stated that h e loves me but will never be truly happy until I am there with him. When try to communicate how I feel about trying to find employment in his state he was so understanding and made me feel better about trying and not having any luck. The problem now is that he is trying to distract himself by diving into tons of activities and not ‘ really making time for us like he use to. Phone sex doesn’t happen anymore, late night phone calls stop, we use to Skype 3 times a week, now I’m lucky if I get to Skype with him at all,.

      He is currently in school and working a demanding job so I understand I cannot get much off his time. What upsets me is that I feel like he has shout me out and taken away the joy of the few things we had to get us by until we see each other because they are a tease for him. I am try to stay positive but it hard. It’s like he is pushing me away because our plans plans are taking longer than expected. We talk everyday but with the connection we have I feel like he has lost faith or is losing faith in us

      any advice?

  10. 4244 & 2447 October 23, 2011 at 6:47 am #

    Thank you for a very helpful article. My girlfriend recently moved out of state, although I support and understand her decision 100%, I found it very difficult to be the man she loves and help her pack up, load, and watch them drive away. Not only did I help my best friend to leave but her daughter (who feels like my daughter),  and her mother, who is also like a mother to me. So bitter-sweet!! After reading numerous articles I know we are on the right track because neither one of us is done with the other. Almost everyone around us has been negative about our relationship lasting. Its funny how a few texted lines or a 2 minute actual talking phone call from her can raise my spirits so high. Once again thank you so much for the words that build my faith and hope that we can continue with and make our relationship last.

  11. fatty November 2, 2011 at 5:58 am #

    I joined my first job at Goa last year where i used to stay in co accomodation and met him first there. We were just friends at first but den don know when i fell in love with him. When I told him about it, he denied the proposal. We were beyound friendship though but still stayed as friends. Later when I could not pretend and couldnot resist my feelings for him, I decided to leave job and come back home. During those last days, he showed ultimate care and love to me and also expressed that he loved me. Now I recently resigned and have moved to my hometown. I am perplexed if he really loves me and if I should consider it for a long distance relationship or should i just cut off all contacts with him and move on in my life.

  12. Ashishmechfire09 November 6, 2011 at 8:13 pm #

    hey…don’t worry…you know distances doesn’t matters…you have to be very strong at every point of your life…or else you never know when you lose precious one’s…i live in india and my gf lives in south africa..i know how it feels but then compromises are part of life and if you really feel for a person you would never ever deceive him and leave him alone…consider it..:)

  13. Chinni_govinda January 28, 2012 at 7:23 am #

    Awesome post….thanxxx dude…

  14. L-Boogie April 5, 2012 at 9:30 pm #

    Wow!. I loved your advice and explanation of your thoughts on LDRs. My boyfriend of almost 3 years recently relocated to NC and I am in LA. Everything you said makes me feel really good, because when he decided to take this job, people who were suppose to be my friends were making comments like ‘as soon as he is gone – blah blah blah’. Sometimes I want to ask the why, when, where, what are you doing – type questions, but after reading your comments, I am going to take the advice on simply acting real cool about whatever and TOTATLLY trusting him and stop worrying. He was trustworthy and good to me while he was with me here every day, so if he decides to do something differently in NC, time will tell and I will chalk it up to life experience and keep living! I am learning that I have no control over anyone, except myself. Thanks for the post…it was well taken by me.

  15. Cenobia Zenobia May 2, 2012 at 4:57 pm #

    How far does he live from you?  If it’s on the other side of the country, that might be a problem.  But if he lives much closer, he can drive and make a weekend out of meeting you.   God Bless and Good Luck.

  16. secret May 6, 2012 at 10:39 am #

    owesome!!!! mr. eddie corbano i learned much from you…tnx to all advice to all who in long distance relationship..and your really really right ..about the word TRUST…keep up the good work…more power….GOD BLESS..

  17. secret May 6, 2012 at 10:43 am #

    trust, faith……i need this :)

  18. tui June 5, 2012 at 1:23 am #

    Thank you Eddie, you have given me strength today. I am in a long distance relationship and it gets very difficult. WE both love each other strongly, but it still is very hard being apart.

  19. tui June 5, 2012 at 1:36 am #

    Amari, when I read this it felt as if they came straight from my own mind. Except of course I would have written it a month ago because it was when I finally realize if this relationship was going to survive; jealousy has no room in it.

    I have told myself that I won’t ask the, where, how, who what questions any more and just fully throw myself at my work and trust with all that I stand for that he truly loves me and if anything was going to happen, I will know about it.

    I have no need or urge or want to stray or be unfaithful.

    I love him that I am certain, and that is enough for me.

  20. tui June 5, 2012 at 1:38 am #

    Stay positive…everything will work out. good luck.

  21. tui June 5, 2012 at 2:19 am #

    If you read this respond, please let me know that your amazing love story ended happily ever after, at least I pray it does. The recurring dream mention gave me goose bumps….amazing.

  22. tala August 11, 2012 at 7:47 am #

    hi eddie,im currently in a year and a half ongoing ldr and i really appreciate your work, his family supports us for the most part but my side strongly dissaproves, whenever the subject is brought up my father insists that ill ‘feel stupid about it later’. i know things arent going to be easy but me and will (my boyfriend) know that it may be a while before we see each other, my only problem around this time is that he seems to be not as sexually atracted as usual, it only bothers me a little because i am often in the mood but he is not, ive tried explaining it to him but theres not much either of us can do about it, i dont know if you still check this site but id just like to let you know i apreciate someones support. :]

  23. Jennie August 29, 2012 at 4:15 pm #

    Hi Mr. Eddie Corbano; I am in a long distance relationship right now and its my first time to engage in this kind of relationship as well my fiance, too. We can normally talk once a week or once twice week…he said when i sending him an email, he will just reply, we can talk if i am free..i know he is a busy man, but its so weird when he is online and never sending me a message even “hi”. we have just planed everything, our marriage, how many children we want and even our first meeting. Its just he never said anything that would give me a sign that our relationship is over.. i am still waiting for him with patience and i trust him so well. Many people says long distance relationship especially online chatting is never gonna work. but i have felt that my fiance is honest to everything he said to me. and no doubt about it. How to work on it Mr. Corbano? Its so hard relationship. well, your article help me to lessen my worries about our relationship, now i just wait him to be free to talk,,and i hope it is soon..

  24. Flee October 16, 2012 at 1:16 pm #

    Thank you very much for this. My boyfriend and I started our relationship just this year and we are about 8,000 miles apart or more from each other.I am from the Philippines and he is in Virginia. We haven’t met in person yet but we do communicate thru Skype video call almost 24/7. We’ve been thru a lot of fights,usually petty fights due to some trust issues and many others. Upon reading your article, it enlightens me especially about the “making plans together and not to hush it up”. I am the type of person who is not particular of sharing my thoughts/plans and this is what my boyfriend’s been complaining about me. It’s kind of hard for me because I am really used to it but I know this is also one of the important keys to make our relationship work.I am willing to change for the better because I really love him big time and I don’t want to lose because of this because i know I can be better that who I am now. I am really praying for us to work and putting your “10 Rules” into action will be a great guide to us and much more to me. To wrap this up, I am thanking you for helping not just me but also other couples who are also in this kind of situation.

    Thank you and more power…

  25. Dbakeca Italia December 21, 2012 at 9:34 am #

    just do not go

  26. kim January 7, 2013 at 6:53 am #

    i like a guy that lives in ny..and im here stuck in mi. we text almost everyday all day..he’s wonderful..I hope for it to turn into something more..im practicing patience. :-)

  27. eddy February 1, 2013 at 6:27 pm #

    hello Eddie,i have just found a new black American friend,we spend time chatting almost each day.Although we stay miles apart,she has honestly shared her past life with me. Of course,not good ones but her honesty draws me even closer.We have never seen each other yet we both think we love each other.i hope to apply your suggestions to make this work.Stay blessed.

  28. jk February 18, 2013 at 3:20 pm #

    Well… for sure is not easy(my personal experience).. but as mister Corbano say the key.. is trust, faith and believe.. personally i believe.. and you always have to be honest with the person you most love.. if you are not honest.. you are founding your relation in not steady base.. which i think is going to fail in the end.. but if you trust and believe in yourself and in your partner.. everything is possible.. is right.. jelousy is one of the worst enemy but also is the auto sabotage.. we are human and we have insecurities.. but.. if you really think and feel your relation worth.. well.. is simple.. enjoy every moment like your last.. and live with no regret..

    You are right.. LDR is hard but not impossible.. and yes.. one touch.. one kiss.. even one smell.. tell you more then 1000 text.. but is what you have for now so enjoy it..

  29. haywca March 3, 2013 at 8:02 pm #

    My girlfriend will be going to pharmacy school in Arizona almost right after she graduates in university. On the other hand, I will be staying in California since I have one more year of college.We both feel sad whenever we think about it. We will still see each other during her breaks or during my break at school. I hope she’ll trusts me and will have faith in our relationship because I love her as much as she loves me. I trust her too and have faith in our relationship. I can see myself in a very long term relationship with her. I will do everything to show my love for her and I will make our relationship work no matter how hard it can be. Thank you for your article!

  30. Caitlin March 14, 2013 at 5:33 pm #

    This what a very well written article, and offered great insight on the situation! I’m finishing up my Freshman year of college, as an out of state student. I met my boyfriend the first week of school, my accident, and we’ve been dating for about six months now. While I know that’s not a long time frame, I love, unconditionally. He’s everything I ever want, and more that I thought to ever ask for. He’s my best friend, and I trust him with my life. He makes me feel like I’m something important, something worth fighting for. I had been through an abusive relationship my senior year, and despite my fear and trust issues, he taught me what it’s like to love, and be loved. I’m the happiest I’ve ever been. He makes me a better person. But BESIDES THAT, the school year is coming to and end, and that means I need to fly back home. The distance between us is a 24 hour car ride, and a two and a half hour plane ride. I’m so nervous, scared and sad that I won’t see him for the summer, until I come back down in august for fall term. We’re going to try to see each other once a month, but it may not work out. I’ve met his family, and they love me and I love them. He’s met my father, while my dad was visiting me at school, and my dad thinks he’s very nice. I’ll use these tips, I guess I’m just really worried. I can’t seem to get over the fact that I won’t be able to hug him. I can make do with no kissing for three months, no sexual activity, but no hugs…his hugs keep me together. Any input on my situation? Any advice would be great!:)
    Oh, by the way, He’ll be turning 20 in june, and I’ll be turning 20 in december.

  31. kena April 3, 2013 at 1:48 am #

    thank you eddie

    I would like to share my long relationship story as well,even if english is not my native language,so exuse my gramatical mistakes..there are some moments when you really feel alone and don’t have someone next to you to open up and talk and then you try to fin an answer by searching the internet..it’s impressing when I think that many people have typed my same words” how to make my long distance relationship last”..and then we found your amaizing article eddie..thank you once again for helping people like me ,giving us the right answers and alleviating our spirits with optimism…in my and my boyfriend have our first anniversay,i’m so happy for this..and at the same time i can’t believe it has been a year together..I’m 19 now and he’s 22,I live in Tirana,wich is the capital of Albania and he lives in Paris…we’ve meet twice till now and we’ve alredy planned our third meeting..the first meeting was like a fairytale,i’ve never been that happy in my life,it was only for a weekend and we meet in Rome..I have felt like light a plume during those two days,that was pure happiness…our second one was in Paris,in october and the thirs one would also be in paris..I’m happy about it,because to me the most important is seeing him no matter where or when,and I excited that I’ll visit paris again,why not..but the traveling is too tiredfull,last time I was exhausted and for this reason I didn’t enjoy it 100%..anyway,like in your article was said,we’ve made our plans for the future,in 2015 he’s going to study in Madrid and then I exactly finish my three year of bachelor here and I’ll try to apply in madrid as welll…living in the same city with him is a dream <3..I hope I'll get accepted in Madrid..until then I'll be strong and put more and more love in our relationship to make it last and flourish.

  32. christian April 3, 2013 at 8:52 am #

    It’s been a year since me and me and my girlfriend have talked and we live over 1,000 miles away she wants to live in mg neighborhood and so we can finally see each other, we love each other very much and when we met again it was like a dream come truefor both of us so we have been skyping everyday since 5 days ago and nothing “bad” has happened yet, we want to meet each other and she says that she is moving back to the us next year possibly in my area, and when Zhengzhou is away she misses me while I’m waiting for her to call me back on Skype the same thing is for me I miss her when I’m not skyping with her we haven’t seen each others faces yet but our relationship is strong, we always say I love you before ending the call, we both say it to each other before leaving, and I play minecraft with her so that improves our relationship, when I’m hurt or down she always says it’s OK, don’t worry and stuff to make me feel netted and j do the same thing for her,.we hope 1 day we will finally meet in plublic and not over Skype we are the same age to we are 15-16 she is a few months behind my bday since it’s. in January so

  33. patie. Roy May 6, 2013 at 6:07 pm #

    Hello Eddie,

    Thank you so much Eddie for this site.

    My situation is very tuff but slowly by slowly am manoeuvring. my boyfriend shortly after telling him that i love him and promising him that we shall get old togther. left for studies in Russia and me i stay in Uganda. its now four years since he went and he is remaining with two more years. the worst experience was on my graduation. he bought me a very expensive dress but did not attend it. we used not communicate daily in the past 3years because we both did not have money. but now we communicate daily coz i have got the job and i can call him anytime i want. its hurts to see my friends move out with their fiancees and others getting married off while me am still waiting for him. I am very sure that he loves me and i love him too. am not looking at another man apart from him though friends keep telling me to quit but my heart belongs to him.
    friends out there true love exist!!!

  34. elizabeth May 8, 2013 at 9:38 pm #

    Thanks.My boyfriend is going to a different college then me next year.We thought we would never see each other again.This really changed things.

  35. Sherlyn August 8, 2013 at 6:33 am #

    Hi, I am S from Singapore and I just broke up with my ex of 4 years last month.. I joined a Korean dating website after my break up and I know a Korean guy who lives in Sweden and we contact each other on kakao talk everyday.. I used 2 think I know guys well but I was wrong.. Now I know the secrets 2 a happy and stable relationship with someone of another race..

  36. Rose August 11, 2013 at 2:17 am #

    I met a guy on line we have been talking texting on the phone almost every day …. We haven’t met we love from eachother … Yet last week he tells me he loves me in which Im so confused yet hard to believe its a crazy feeling but I like it we just send pics of eachother whenever we can … I’m just looking after my heart and I want to believe everything he tells me but it’s to soon to tell its real ;)

  37. maureen October 8, 2013 at 5:17 pm #

    Thank you Eddie. Omg I just started its only been a week of long distance. I seem to be skeptical …

  38. Ali October 25, 2013 at 12:43 am #

    Thank you so much for this article. I was feeling very down and tearful, missing my partner very much but I now realise we’ve done most of these steps and will get through this short period of separation. It’s the physical contact I miss so much. That big hug only your man can give you. It’s tough.

  39. Unix Brat November 3, 2013 at 7:53 pm #

    Eddie–thank you for writing a meaningful article. My LDR boyfriend found this article and sent me the link.

    We’re 750 miles apart and haven’t met in person yet. We communicate every day and have sent several photos back and forth. I am eager to meet sooner and not later, whereas bf says he needs to move slowly. I really want this LDR to be successful and I have no problems being far apart for a long time, provided we do certain things, such as meet up regularly.

    I felt sad when my bf told me the other day that he thought we had a 1 in 5 chance of working out. Later he changed it to 1 in 4. Still, I was crushed because I had complete belief that we could be successful for the long haul, a 1 in 1 chance. It doesn’t feel good, but in order to cope with the realization that our hopes and expectations are different I am now trying to water down my passion and enthusiasm.

    But what do you think? If my boyfriend is only giving us a 25% chance, does that probably mean he won’t have enough belief to make things work?

  40. Sonia November 21, 2013 at 10:37 pm #

    Thank you Eddie for your 10 rules on making LDR workout. I met my man when he and I were just kids and he moved away far far far away. We both grew into our own lives he got married had 3 beautiful blessings and I got married as well. Our marriages did not workout but like they say God puts people in our path for a reason and he placed him in my path many years ago. I never forgot about him still have his letters, pictures and a teddy bear he gave me way back when. He always had a special place in heart all these years and there he stayed tucked away. Well long story short we reconnected again and have been having a LDR for almost 8months still haven’t met eye to eye. Planned trips keep getting canceled either by him or by me but we are still going strong a couple of quarrels and mainly its due to lack of interaction and misunderstanding a text or email etc…but somehow we end up back again. I love him and he loves me!!! I just wanted to shoot you a “small” message just to say thank you it made me think in a different way. I just gave us a time guide so we can meet. And even though we met when were just kids I realize we both have changed as adults. We both have issues from our previous failed marriages but we decided to look forward and move on eventually with God’s blessing I will be the one moving to his state. We have a song that we youtube when we are missing each other ” ALWAYS WITH ME, ALWAYS WITH YOU” by Joe Satriani.

    • sonia January 13, 2014 at 9:45 pm #

      Good news to report…I’m finally visiting my man in Feb 9 and I’m excited, nervous, Happy, Blessed and lil sad. Visiting for 10days and I feel a bit overwhelmed trying to make a decision of spending my life with him based on 10days…I know sounds like to much pressure but Im going with an open mind. I can’t wait to finally look into his eyes.

      • Sonia Eliza Quintanilla August 11, 2014 at 5:35 am #

        Hello, it’s been 8months since I was on this site but I’m happy (maybe not to happy) to report that my Ldr is still going strong. We’ve had ups and downs, lots of laughter and tears but it’s all worth it….We’re commited to each other and have made plans for our future together. I am looking foward to our new life together. All with God’s Blessing! !!!!.

  41. Rachel December 8, 2013 at 9:14 pm #

    I’ve been in a relationship with my ldr girlfriend for almost 7 months now. It might not sound long but it sure is for me. I cry at night and I feel this sharp pain whenever I walk in my school hallways and see couples holding hands. Its so easy for those people compared to my love an hour and a half away. I live in Philly while she’s in New York, Queens.

    We’ve met up only once at a local park, but I had to hide it from my dad who took me that we are a couple, seeing that he is very homophobic and I doubt he’d let me.
    It’s hard at times because she’s very involved with her grades more than me at times, yet she apologizes because her mother is the one who ‘controls her life’ about it. I know in two years I want to do something about this. Once out of High School I want to either move closer, her closer to I, or I can drive to her everyday.
    People say that our love isn’t real, and that I am ‘wasting my high school love time’.

    But you know.. I’m fine with being a little different.
    I love my Ana, and she loves me.
    Everyone out there with a LDR, we can make it!!!

    Love, Rachel

  42. Xihlamariso January 14, 2014 at 2:48 pm #

    Long distant relationships are terribly hard, and I always told myself that I didn’t want to be in one . . . until i met a woman who made me think it was worth it.

    In the beginning it was ok, because i was not that much into her. Things only got hectic when we really started connecting.

    In the end we didn’t make it, I wish i had this article then.

    Thanks so much for sharing this.

  43. Alexander February 9, 2014 at 4:27 pm #

    Thank you, Eddie, and others, for the good advice, the few I read.

    I am profoundly deaf, and I have been single for 10 years, since I was thrown out by my exgf who found someone else (even though she came back 2 years later and wanted me back, but as we all know it won’t work. I was with her for 7 years, I was the faithful one, she was not.)

    I found someone couple of months ago, only I am here in my Australia country and she is living in the US, and it’s scary, to fall in love with each other and building trust and love and everything, and I’m working like a maniac with my writing novels and short stories and getting overwhelmed when I cannot figure out how to make money, so I can build a future for us, and my heart’s breaking and wanting to be with my love, so so far away. I’m fast with writing, and my love is slower, she takes her time, and it’s testing my strength of patience and it’s a good thing, I’m learning, oh Lord, how hard it is.

    When we met I decided never to play games, to always be myself and during the past few years I met many women, mostly scammers, (arrrgh!) and those few women didn’t like my complete honesty, so I kept waiting, until I met my love, and I showd her my honesty and asks her about it ad she is the same, she don’t like games, too, which I am glad. But it’s so hard, and I wondered how it would all work out, feeling the uncertainty of it all, but I knew she was the one, she understood me, she KNEW me down to my soul, her descriptions, so spot on. I trust her, I have faith in her, I believes her, and I loves her very much. But sometimes I have this feeling, maybe it won’t work out, simply because of the distance thing.

    So I decided to find out if there were successful long distance relationships and I wonders if there’s one who fits us. Well, I see many have, but what about international long distance relationship? I see some, though I hopes there are some out there who’s successfully living loving relationships, married and having children, being a REAL family, just the way I wanted and dreamed of for a long time.

    I knew I wanted to marry my love, it’s true, I told her, she was IT, there’s no doubts about it. Yes, I’m direct, I’m deaf, and I don’t play games, I’m not like other hearing people, who plays around with words trying this way and that way. Not me, I’m open, honest and go straight for the truth, I show what I am, and she loves me for what I am, and I write songs that she loves, showing her how I feels, and everything. She’s so amazing. And I am happy, I feel better writing this, showing how I am, who I am, this is me! I won’t wears masks, nor hides myself, nor hides my feelings. I’m ME! And because of this, she loves me! Thank God! I’m so happy!

    She’s hearing, I’m deaf, and she’s the best I ever read. I want to be with her, here, or there, or anywhere. She completes me. Now I waits.

    Thanks for the article, it is good article. Faith, belief and trust, three perfect words that makes love works! Incredible! Many thanks!

  44. Cesar February 27, 2014 at 7:11 pm #

    Eddie:

    I just found this site in the right time… I’ve found your words and techniques to be very good, but i’m still in the not acceptance part, they’ll work, i know, it’s hard when a girl after a week of being sweet and committed then tells you out of the blue, i don’t have time to devote you or the relationship, you deserve so much more… it left me shattered… But i know i’ll be fine.

    Thanks Eddie, keep it up

  45. ramesh April 24, 2014 at 10:05 pm #

    Thank u sir…this article is really helpful..

  46. Tabitha May 3, 2014 at 8:04 pm #

    A few years ago I met the love of my life at a dace out of town, we’ll call him Dave. I don’t think it was love at first sight, just a physical attraction that grew stronger and stronger. We talked all the time on the phone. We both live in Texas, but it’s a very big state and we live hours away from each other. Every time I got to see him my heart felt like it was about to burst, it actually hurt sometimes it was beating so hard. If he’d asked me, I would have moved away from all I know to be with him, to have his name as my own. Then all of a sudden he stopped calling me, so I called him. But he rarely ever answered, when he did he always asked if he could call me back. Then I would say goodbye, hang up, and cry my eye’s out, I knew he wouldn’t. For the first few months I had faith he would, I always made excuses for him, but I knew deep down that he didn’t care about me. I’ve been trying unsuccessfully for the past 2 years to get over him. But there’s always been that useless clinging hope.

    I got to see Dave last month at the same annual dace we met at 4 years ago, it was so wonderful. He was good to me but distant, as if I was just an old friend. He told me that he was going to try to dance with as many girls as possible and that I should do the same. I sadly excepted his decision but didn’t ask anyone to dance. A few guys asked me to dance and I did, but only because Dave wanted me to. They never had my full attention, I’d always let my eye’s wonder trying to find him. One young man was pushing himself on me a bit, we’ll call him George. He was very nice and respectful, but obviously wanted more than one dance (no he was not trying to take advantage of me, just spend time with me). He could tell I wasn’t happy despite my smile and always tried to cheer me up. Finally he left to get some drinks and I took advantage of that time to run to the bathroom and have a good cry. I’d been holding it in all night. I fixed my makeup and went back out, but George could tell I’d been crying. So I told him why, I couldn’t help but cry again. He took me outside for some fresh air and to talk without all the noise of the band. He was really grate. I’ve never seen hands like his. They looked strong maybe even a bit harsh, obviously the hands of a hard worker, but when he touched me as we danced or when he held my wast they were soft, tender, and very comforting. I found myself wanting to spend more time with him. At midnight I gave the last dance to Dave. Afterwords I turned my back for only a few seconds and he was gone. Not even a goodbye. I went looking everywhere for him but he’d already left. When I came back in George was gone too, I realized that I’d been gone for quite a while and he’d probably thought I left. I felt lower than I’ve ever felt before. He was so good to me and I was running after someone who didn’t even care.

    I was so lucky I found him on FB, now we talk almost every day. He forgave me for what I did and hasn’t even mentioned anything about the dance since. We just talk about whatever comes to mind, our day, what we do in life, what we want in life, just anything. I feel like I can be myself with him. I know I feel something for him, but I don’t know if those feelings are true and from the heart. I don’t know if I really do care about him (as in more than friends), or if he was just a soft place to fall after huge heart break. It may be to early to tell, I haven’t known him very long, even though it feels like I have. If he does care about me I don’t want to hurt him by becoming very close if I don’t feel the same. I haven’t talked to Dave since the dance, I’m not angry at him, just hurt. I don’t think I’ve ever been angry at him.

    I know Dave is not the guy for me, he’s proved that many times over but I’ve never been able to except it until now. Should I give myself the chance to fall in love again, or is it too early? George has been hurt before, I don’t want to be the one to hurt him again. He’s too good a friend for me to do that. I don’t even know if he even cares about me in that way, he could, or it may be that he’s just a very kind person or he took pity on me. We live much closer, only an hour and a half away. So IF we did get into a relationship it would be easier to visit each other. But that’s a very big ‘if’. I’ve excepted that Dave and I have no future together as anything, not even friends, but I’m still not completely over him. What should I do?!

  47. Abel June 2, 2014 at 2:45 am #

    Getting to read ur stuff at the right time…thx

  48. Katherine July 3, 2014 at 1:23 am #

    I meet this amazing guy online and he is in the military. Even tho we just meet its like I have know him forever. he feels the same way. But our problem is he goes over seas next month for 10 months and he wont be able to get letters or call me or anything. I really don’t want to lose him because it seems we fit together so well. I need help????

  49. sandy August 9, 2014 at 9:25 pm #

    Hey! Am sandy,am comfuse abt my relationship. I met this guy when I was 13yrs,I loved him so much that I never wanted to loose him. After 2yrs of our dating,he left to anoda country,though due to the love he has for me,he never made me to feel lonely of his absent. He tries his best to call nd whenever he calls,he makes our conservation long. The distance made us to love each other the more,after 3yrs of us not seeing each other,he decided to come and see me,wen he told me about him comming down to see me,I was so happy. You know seeing someone who for long time you have not seen,I was so happy. But later something happened,he later changed his mind of coming to see me and when I asked him the reason he told me that something came up,so he can’t make it again. I was so depressed,I was not happy,all my happiness and dreams of being with him again was just a night mail. My anger raised the more when I get to know the truth of him not being able to come back from his friend,I was angry because he never told me the truth rather his friend did. Out of annoyance I stopped talking to him,I even tried quitting the relationship,but realize dat what I was doing was wrong,I called him and apologize to him serverally,but he never accepted,he told me that it was over between us,at first I thought that it was joke because I never believed that the kind of love we have for each other could just end that way. I never could believe that we could break up just like that. When I saw that it wasn’t a joke,I have to accept the fact,thought it wasn’t an easy tax. After two months of our separation,he started chatting nd calling,he apologized and I accepted him back,but I noticed something in him,he has changed authomatically,his no more like lovely as before,he no longer calls or text like before,if I ask him why he tells me nothing. Later he stopped talking to me,he only call once in a brick moon,am so confuse,this is a guy that I so much love and don’t wanna loose him,pls I need help and an advice on what to do.

  50. Shai August 27, 2014 at 2:51 am #

    I was in a long distance relationship and the first rule that Eddie gave is super important because it’s reason why my relationship failed in the end. We couldn’t agree on our future. I would have moved to be with him but I wanted more a commitment and for us to get married before I moved to the other side of the country but he wasn’t ready. I wish everyone who is in a long distance relationship the best. One of the best things about my past long distance relationship was the intimacy I felt with him when we had long conversations on the phone and we talked about both our insecurities and the things we were passionate about in life. During the time we were together, he truly became an important of my life.

Trackbacks/Pingbacks

  1. iStudent, iLove at AbsentSoul.net - August 22, 2007

    [...] 10 Rules To Make Long Distance Relationships Work [...]

  2. 10 Rules to Make Long Distance Relationships Work « Life Lists - October 3, 2007

    [...] post was first published here by Eddie Corbano.  Special thanks for his allowing me to post this again [...]

  3. Fox News Channel University | Tough Love: Long-Distance, in Short - August 2, 2010

    [...] are hopelessly alienating. If you want to be coddled, check out these websites here and here and here. But you won’t find any of that stuff [...]

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