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A Woman’s Guide On Approaching Men

approaching womanIf you are of the opinion that a woman should simply sit there, looking nice, slightly smiling from time to time while waiting for her prince to arrive, then this article is not for you.

If you are, on the other hand, a woman who is living in the 21st century, feeling secure in who she is and willing to take what she wants, then read on.

You will like what I have to say.

First of all, there is really nothing wrong with a woman approaching a man. It shows that she is confident, and that she knows what she wants. Men really like that.

Trust me on this one.

Maybe some of you may be asking yourselves – what does HE know about the secrets of women approaching men?

For one thing, I know what I would like for a woman to say and do if she approached me. (This actually did happen, by the way, quite often).

For another thing, I have interviewed some of my female friends for a simple guide on how to approach and get to know men.

So here it is.

Let’s start with a small list of what I would like to see a woman doing when she sees a man she likes. A wish-list, so to speak, of all the things women didn’t do back when I was available.

This list, of course, will be highly subjective, but hey, maybe you’ll find something that you would like to try:

Just be yourself, don’t “bitch-shield”

I know, I know.

If you are very beautiful, then you get approached all the time, and heavy arrogance is your weapon – your shield to keep away the jerks.

But if you’re not, then what’s the point? Then it’s only insecurity, a fear of getting hurt.

Come on. Nothing from the outside can hurt you. The only one who can hurt you is yourself. Know that.

And what about Mr. Right? Maybe he’s extremely shy. Shouldn’t he also get a chance to get to know your wonderful personality?

Which brings us to the next point.

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9 Responses to A Woman’s Guide On Approaching Men

  1. Cheryl Liggins August 10, 2010 at 6:27 pm #

    Awsome Advice

  2. A Man August 14, 2010 at 3:55 pm #

    Hmmm. A good start maybe, but not too much meat here as far as advice. Anyway, as a guy that gets approached by women a lot, here's what I'd say.

    The single MOST IMPORTANT thing is that you make eye contact before approaching. The eye contact he gives back should show some degree of interest. Without that pre-approach eye contact, it never goes anywhere, even if it could have otherwise. For example, a cute girl tried to talk to me last night as I was trying to get a drink at a crowded bar… she came out of nowhere, my mind was elsewhere and I was slightly annoyed by the unexpected approach so I didn't get into any conversation with her.

    The man needs to see you and assess you first to get into “mating dance mode”, and this only takes a nanosecond. By making eye contact, you give him that opportunity and create some nice tension. THEN when you approach him you are releasing the tension (building and releasing tension are crucial rules of attraction). After that you only need to bait him to continue the interaction by being interesting, then transitioning to the point where he's leading, or it's at least 50/50.

    • Monyowens August 15, 2010 at 4:04 am #

      I like the fact that you mentioned eye contact, that is crucial.

  3. Monyowens August 15, 2010 at 4:01 am #

    Wow, this article did help me along in my quest to approach this guy that I have had my eye on for 3 weeks now. My main problem with approaching him is the fact that I am a little insecure, but now that I am 21 I am slowly easing out of that. But another problem with approaching this particular guy is the fact that he is clearly older than me. He looks between 30 and 35, so I am afraid that he might feel that I am too young. Everytime I see him he always says hi and asks me how I am doing, and he smiles. I guess that is clue enough that he is somewhat interested in me. It really helped me to know that when approaching a guy he will probably be almost as nervous as I am. Also, it helped me to know not to dress too provacatively (although I kind of figured that). I always rummage through my closet looking for the perfect outfit when I go around him, but as long as I am comfortable I could see how that would be better.

  4. rhom November 1, 2010 at 8:50 am #

    Hi! I was enjoying reading ur posts. Thanks for the new knowledge that I learned from here. I am very sure that I can use in the near future. Thanks again. Godbless and Take care.

  5. Elisa Brentwood December 14, 2013 at 9:49 am #

    Here’s a simple way to get the guys attention without being too pushy.. Make an eye contact (2-3 seconds), shoot him a warm smile and then look away. This simple gesture always does the trick. 🙂



  6. KC December 18, 2013 at 3:57 am #

    Great post Eddie, thanks! And I also want to thank Elisa for sharing her very straight forward technique.

    Regarding point 4, I want to add my own perspective. When I see women wearing revealing clothing, I think they’re either desperate for attention, or they’re jaded (hate men), or they couldn’t care less about a man’s emotions.

    In private, it’s perfectly fine to wear revealing clothing in front of a man. Do this when you’re alone together and want things to progress physically. Don’t dress sexy in public. Why? Because when you dress sexy in public you’re saying you want attention from men in general; and, you’re not saying that you want a specific man to notice you.

    A man wants to feel like you care about him specifically. We’re only human, after all. Save your sexy close for when you’re alone with a man.

    In public, dress classy in clothes that closely fit your body and cover all of your provocative lady parts. This says the right thing to everyone and it also allows you to say exactly what you want to say only to the man you’re interested in.

    I hope this helps!


  7. White December 20, 2015 at 7:05 am #

    Ahh…How I wish I could say to men :”Don’t dress sexy in public !” UNFORTUNATELY most of them don’t need this advise… 🙂


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