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Breakup Success Story: How To Let Go Of The Past

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When you start the arduous journey to break-up recovery there is one thing that most people have in common: the destructive feeling of being alone and helpless.

What helps us endure those challenges of life is the knowledge that there are others before you who went the same path and their acquired wisdom: a breakup success story.

Allowing the possibility that you WILL make it and come out of this experience renewed will give you strength and boost your confidence. It even may give you the initial push to finally start your recovery.

The only problem is that those who moved on usually don’t look back, be it to avoid pain or just because they simply don’t want to look back.

But – as you know – luckily there are exceptions. Those who understand that looking back is also part of the healing process, it’s where we connect the dots together in order to make the last step into independence.

Our dear reader Ronin decided to come back and share his own experiences with his break-up.

This is his story.

Breakup Success Story from our reader Ronin

“Hey guys!

I remember back when I was first dumped, one of the main things that discouraged me was the very low ratio of success stories versus tales of heartbreak, misery and loneliness. The thing is, once someone heals from the traumatic experience of being heartbroken, they usually tend to carry on with their lives and do not go back to support those who are new to the experience. Of course, some people are an exception to this rule, but that’s how it usually works in my experience.

So, I promised myself some months ago that I would come back when I feel better to encourage those who are just starting their bittersweet experience of healing.

Very quickly about myself – I was with a girl for 3 years, planned to marry her, but was forced to leave the country temporarily for work. Long story short, after less than 3 months of me being away (I would fly to see her every month) she told me she wasn’t in love with me any more, broke up with me and told me there was someone else.

A month after breaking up with me she was already with the new guy, with me having to purchase a magnifying glass to look for the pieces of my shattered heart. Now, I’m an athletic / macho type of guy and have always been considered as very self-controlled and tough, but this break up really got to me.

I was a wreck.

I lost my job because of it, couldn’t concentrate for weeks and cried in the proud loneliness of my sad apartment.

The break up was over 4 months ago. I maintained contact and it was WRONG. VERY WRONG.

All I could do is facebook-stalk her, her friends, etc, waiting for the moment she posts photos of her with her new boyfriend. And soon enough she did! Oh the joy of looking at the person you wanted to be with for the rest of your life (the person who swore her undying love for you) kissing with someone she left you for, with so much joy in their eyes… How wonderfully cruel life can be!

So I cut off contact.

This is the best advice I can give to ANYONE in that situation – do it!

I kept contact thinking she might come to her senses and want to get back with me (although I had promised myself I would never take her back – the paradox of human nature, right?). But it just ended up hurting me more.

Once I deleted her everything became so much MORE EASY to handle. It really does give you back the control and it is a wonderful feeling. Go for it – cut contact.

The thing is, unless your ex partner is a complete tool, you can always re-establish contact with them years later if you so wish. And if they won’t accept you back as a friend, then you are really so much better off without a small person like that.

So yeah, now I am single and yes, I do still think of her sometimes, etc., but it doesn’t hurt me anymore. Before, every single memory of her would cause me an unbearable amount of pain. Not any more.

So PLEASE, cut contact, follow what the articles on this website say, and know that it will get better and better. The pain will go away – for some more slowly than for others, but it will fade into the past.

Make positive efforts to let go of the past, forgive everyone and try to develop a positive outlook at life. If you can’t do it right away, fake it until you make it! :)

If this post cheers up at least one person out there, I will be very happy! Like I said, I felt the need of seeing more stories like this when I was crying out salty tears…

Ronin”

The key to Ronin’s recovery was to finally start following the no-contact rule. The no-contact rule is THE precondition to fast recovery, as I have written so many times.

This is by far the fastest, least painful and most effective way.

I hope that Ronin’s story will help you to conquer all the obstacles the no-contact rule imposes on you and that you too will reach the end of the road called recovery as soon as possible.

But don’t forget to come back and share your experiences when you’re there.

Your friend,
Eddie Corbano

My Recommendation For Further Reading:

5 Must-See Related Posts:

About The Author:

is a breakup-coach, relationship-advisor and founder of LovesAGame. He suffered from a devastating break up in 1998. Since then, he dedicated his life to helping others getting the best of this existential experience. The overcoming of a break up is an important step to autonomy and independency. Eddie Corbano developed some new coaching programs, which focus on evolving inner strength and the power to set and reach any personal goal. (Article written on June 27th, 2011)
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  • The #1 mistake almost every "Dumpee" makes
  • The secret about No-Contact that your Ex don't want you to know
  • The reason why you don't need closure
  • How to NOT make the same mistakes over an over again
  • Success Stories from other LovesAGame readers
  • Michele

    Thank you for sharing this. I’m only on Day 2 of no-contact, it’s great to hear that the pain will eventually go away.

    • GrowingPains4TheSoul

      Keep going Michele!!! I am going on day four! Remember what it means if you break the NC!!! You have the control now, take it and run with it!! Because they sure did when they ended the relationship!

  • Suziwithaq

    I’m at a year and half of no contact. It does get easier. The biggest thing is also blocking all evidence of them on Facebook, etc. It’s tempting to look but really serves no good purpose. Good luck everyone.

  • kebs

    I had a break up 4 months ago.she’s still giving me nightmares./sigh

  • lonely2

    We broke up xmas eve, well he dumped me then.  I am so glad I went to NC, we were talking at first, it only led to fights and more pain.  After NC it gave me control over something I felt I had no control over.  The pain is less, not gone, and I am still hurt.  I am angry more then anything.  I feel so much better then I did before.  Good advice to keep your mind busy… it helps… hang in there…

  • Myhappiness2010

    I love Ronin’s story, I can relate in so many ways with him and his pain. It’s been a year to date since my breakup and I can honestly say that things do get better, a year ago I thought my world was caving in, I felt like dying etc, etc., today June 28, 2011 I feel 90% better and know that there is life after a bad, devastating breakup and know that there is a light shining very bright at the end of that horrific, painful journey. It also leaves you numb and it’s hard to get into something again, it has to me.  A broken heart is something I don’t wish on anyone. It’s the worst experience I’ve had in my life, I thank God that my pain is gone and that I am not depressed, etc. I am getting ready to move away from Austin, Texas and start a new life in a different town it will be nice to leave all those memories that haunt me here in Austin. Sometimes it’s just best to remove yourself from the whole situation, place etc. I was with this man for almost 4 yrs and from when we broke up, about a month later he had someone new, that hurt so bad. Well enough, because like they say sometimes it’s just best to leave it alone and not talk about it, keep busy and before you know it time has passed by and a year, two years have passed and everything is nothing but a memory. As for what Ronin said about being friends with that person, I have old boyfriends that I am friends with now and nothing else, that is possible but not while you are healing, stay far far away from that person or else you will pro-long your pain and it will take your longer to heal. I am grateful to God because he has been with me and I trusted in him to help me heal and move on and he was there every step of the way, throught the hardest moments in my darkest moments, so keep your faith strong and know that it does get easier as time goes by. Gob bless you who are hurting, confused, sad and lonely, may God lead and guide you and soon the hurting, pain will be over, don’t despair it will happen.

  • Berny

    Nice One eddie….

    And good job eddie. Well, i would like to share my SUCCESS story with everyone. Its been 15 months since i broke up with my ex.To cut it short it was only 7 months relationship(however, time is irrelavant with feeling)…she went to aus and dumped me for another guy…..

    I remember my days 15 months back.I was all in tears…i was even hospitalized..could not concentrate on my studies.as i was in foreign country.it was hard for me.i felt like ending my life.i felt there is no hope.but then luckily i found this website and i started reading every article…i was glued to this website for 10 days…..

    it opened my eyes and then i decided to go for NC.it was hard wiping her away from my life.i felt she was perfect for me.but i fought against myself.i kept on saying myself…”ur life is not cheap that some bit** can walk into ur life and screw it for u” and “CRY FOR CUTS AND STICHES, BUT NOT FOR BASTA**DS AND BIT**CHES”…..folks..its not easy, but please end of the tunnel has the light….i spoke to friends and listened to music and above all reading the stuff in this website and sharing my thoughts helped me…

    Now i am completely over her.sometimes i do think of her, but guys it does nto hurt. And i am having a girl friend now.and she is aware of my past.So far so good things are going good with us.

    Painfull part durign breakup is  we keep thinking that this pain will never heal and this will last forever….wrong…totally wrong..i used to feel the same…but trust me….we all will be fine..

    good luck guys….

    regards

    berny

  • Dalziel

    Thank you Ronin, and Eddie for sharing this article. I am now 3 months of NC after 4 months of breakup. And if not for NC, i’d be a complete mess. But i can tell you i am happy today. I am still getting better but i cant remember when i last cried myself to sleep. His memories still hurt me, but i choose to forgive the ‘human’ mistakes we make. It is freeing and i assure you all when i am there, which will be soon, i will come back and share my story with you. It has been long and hard, but i know that each person here can make it, if they don’t give up. 

  • prettylady

    Just curious to know if anyone on here got back with their ex after NC. Like maybe NC brought the ex back to their senses and they realized that they didn’t want to lose us. Just curious is all. I’m on Day 3, going on 4, of NC. I feel safe – like he can’t hurt me any more. Still dealing with the emotions, but now I feel I have more control over the process of healing.

  • happy

    guys please please maintain no contact it works it makes u so much stronger emotionally n mentally. ive maintain nc for just a month n it did wonders to me. i feel so happy sexy n beautiful again. ive learned swimming ive lost few kg got an amazing weight which i love n now ive join salsa class. its just getting better n better. people who deserve you will never walk away they will make an effort for the relationship to work. so pls dnt cry over those people life is beautiful explore everything life has to offer . hmmm mayb nt everything but yea watever makes u happy just do it.

  • my life starts now

    I just want to say Ronin and Eddie are right N.C is the way to go six months ago i was on this site everyday reading and sometimes writting ive read every book that eddie sugested and a few more. I obsessed about my ex coming back… I even had the chance of him coming back but by that time i was too hurt …to tired …and really couldnt see a way that it could work things wouldnt change I didnt want to go back to that life….. she can have him. he is with another girl and they fight all the time are on again off again all the time and was still in contact with the woman he had the affair with (sometimes facebook is a good thing if i hadnt looked I would never have known that he was still in contact with her) and was crying how he wanted me back…… once long ago I would have given anythign for that chance. this week I went over his house to have a coffee i was on such a high our daughter had a baby…. while i sat there I looked at him and thought im not attracted to you at all. you look old you look tired and all you did was talk about yourself… didnt care what i was doing how i was going and if i was happy he just didnt care …. I know he always asks my daughter how I am but there was your chance to ask and  you never asked a dam thing …… the only thing I regret about going over there, is that he will think we are friends .. he told me im always welcome over there to my old house. I said not a good idea and i dont need to cause trouble and lets no go down that path. I wish him all the best but not the best of my life that will belong to someone new one day when im ready. at the moment im loving my life.I still have days I think about him but I now see him for who he is not who I thought he was.

    the only thing I find annoying is now everyone always  asks me do you have a new man yet ….. get real, i dont want one. not that i dont like men cause i do they are funny and great to be around. but im finding me, learning who i am and I dont want the responsibility of a relationship they take a lot of work that im not prepared to put the effort into. and I dont want to use someone because thats all I would be doing. im a little bit scared too that i will give and give to them like I did before and im still not strong enough to stand my ground yet. But I make sure I hang around a lot of people who have the type of relationship that I want, so when I find it ill know.

    best wishes to everyone life gets better, it gets less painful it goes,I thought people didnt know what they were talking about when they said it anf that they didnt understand what pain i was going through but it does go…… hang in there. xxxx

    • Breakdown47500

      You could not have have put the last paragraph any better. Totally agree with you

  • Xstayswetx

    I really messed up again…. The no contact rule was working so well… why am i so stubborn?  I allowed him to come back into my life.. to visit our daughter at my home.. to call me and text me.. and tell me he will always love me. But we just dont get along. and that he wouldnt be able to handle seeing me with someone else. Well guess what monday night i saw him out with another woman… Why does it hurt so bad… and even though i asked him to leave because it was in the same town.. he went right back in and sat with her and finished their drinks.. I held on for so long.. 2 and a half years of this pain and anguish I feel like a failure. ..(we were together for 13 years one kid) :(

  • prettylady

    Thanks, Judy! Lots of food for thought… thanks for sharing.

  • Prettyinpink2011

    A few months ago I had established NC with my ex and was moving forward with my life. We had not spoken since Oct 2010 and I was devastated and heartbroken when he left for Japan. I tried repeatedly to establish NC but something always came up. Finally I just stopped and I felt much more in control of my life and have been taking care of myself when I was able to.  The point being I felt good, almost ready to let myself be happy. Two weeks ago I broke NC and emailed him (not expecting a reply at all) to say that I was feeling well and wished him the best. I wanted to do this because I wanted to put him behind me and I have never been able to do that before.   Now this is not where he came back and professed his love for me or anything like that. My email went unanswered as I expected it to and I was not hurt by a lack of response.  I felt that I was at a place where I could let him go.  A few months ago when I was still in an awful place I went out for my birthday and celebrated a little too much.  I ended up getting a little too friendly with a coworker and had the wonderful awkwardness of what now?  I did not sleep with him but that was due to his control not mine. A few other times we got together again and he always held back because he said he knew I was still hurting over someone.  I knew I was not ready to move on but it felt good to be on someone else’s mind. He has been very good to me and has been willing to listen to me and wait for me to be ready to open up to him.  But I have been so afraid of letting anyone in that I was not ready to trust him.  We did not have any more physical encounters and would just talk.  For three months we were just talking with each other.  Little by little I was opening up and trusting him more.  He has been understanding and very patient with me.  He would drop certain subjects (ex) if they made me too uncomfortable.  He never pushed me to confide in him. He never tried pushing me too far so that I wanted to get away from him.  He was attentive and very sweet.  This month he finally pushed me enough to get me to talk about what I was afraid of.  We got closer and I wanted to trust him enough to try a new relationship with him.  I really thought I was doing things the right way and was ready for this. It has been almost 9 months since I was with my ex and I missed the closeness of being with another person. And I really liked this guy. He was very different and much younger than me. I was not looking for forever with him but I wanted to see if there could be something.  But this was not meant to be either. This week he began distancing himself from me because he said he is “going through” something life changing and has to work it out. Well damn, aren’t we all? So now I feel as if I might have gone into this too soon because I feel like a basket case again. I know I do not love this man, but the potential was there. He is not a bad person or trying to lead me on.  But I feel that I am just not ready for the ups and downs of beginning something new yet. It was so new that I didn’t really have time to adjust to what was going on before he started pushing me away. I feel like I failed and didn’t learn anything from my previous relationship. I keep telling myself that at least I was not so afraid that I didn’t try a new relationship but it is not enough to make me feel better. I don’t feel strong anymore and I feel I am in the same dark place I was when my ex left.  Am I really going to feel this was anytime I try a new relationship? I feel like I am over reacting and so lost.  I am questioning everything I am doing and all his actions.  At least when I was alone I was getting stronger, now I feel as if I lost all that progress I made. So I come here and try to make sense of what I am doing just like I did in the beginning. I want to be stronger and live again.  I just have to learn my lessons the hard way.

  • Breakdown47500

    Its been a long time since I have posted here, I still remember the very first time I stumbled upon this blog. That was the period when my ex broke up with me.

    I think I will just explain what has happened since then. Yes of course, when the break up happened it was the most painful thing ever. It hurt whenever I was AWAKE and it hurt real bad. I cried for days on end and looking at her fb page and all the memorabilia that we collected throughout our relationship made it worst. The blessing in disguise came when she blocked me on fb and when I found out that she was actually seeing someone else before she even broke up with me. So with that I got rid of everything that we had, phone numbers, memorabilia etc. All this happened in March of 2010

    Fast forward to July 2011.The wounds don`t hurt as much as they do anymore, I am happier i.e. I have made a bunch of good friends and I `ve got a great job at my work place. I never thought that I would be in this situation since then. Yes I still do think about her, sometimes all the what if’s do pop in my head but all these thoughts don`t seem realistic anymore.I believe my psyche is coming to terms and I am in the process of fully accepting this. I guess if some things were meant to be they will be.

    What I am trying to say to all of you who are going through this bad time is that things will become better. Trust me. I was at my lowest and  despite the time frame, I am still in the mode of recovering but the recovery does not feel painful anymore, its the sort of thing that would just require time.

    I agree with Ronin as well, the no contact rule is so important.  If not for my ex blocking me off fb, I guess I would never have recovered as she was updating all her updates with her new guy, all the pictures and what not. So yes I am thankful that did happen. I however do still see updates and status comments of her on FB as we share many mutual friends( this would work vice versa as well), but I now treat her as any other ordinary person commenting and it has helped.

    So to all of you, stay strong during these painful times as I believe you will get through the pain, like how I did. Seek out friends and people who you can trust as for me those people really were my pillars of strength. 

    I therefore believe that you all will get through this safe and sound .

    Remember : Keep the no contact rule, Stay distracted and never be alone as the thoughts will come in.

    Time will heal all :)

    Good luck and God bless!

  • Leirun

    Ok reading this article made me come back and post my success story :) A year and 3 months ago I was where alot of you are. I was in pain, suffering from anxiety, crying all the time, dealing with the rejection and trying to figure out what I did wrong and how to fix it.  I was in so much pain that I was willing to take him back if he would have asked even though he treated me awful the last months I we were together.  Soon after he broke up with me, I found out that he immediately moved on and was with someone else!! I couldn’t believe it back then, I didn’t understand how you can one day be with someone and the next day with another!

    After many sleepless nights, and several posts in this website I decided I had to apply the no contact rule and to be active in my healing, so I did, I started slowly building a world where he was nowhere to be found.  I met someone else and that didn’t quite work out yet was a good experience, he is still my friend. :)  

    Now, I feel so much happier with my life and realize that he did me a favorrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!! Thank you GOD for making him break up with meeeeeeeeee!! lol Believe me one day you too will be able to say this! I don’t regret the realtionship I had with him, it taught me alot about myself and about relationships, yet I can accept now that we were not right for one another.  I no longer feel pain when I think about him, I think I reach a level of forgiveness.. I still wouldnt want him around or be his best friend but wish him well and feel thankful for what I have and my life. 

    Good luck to all of you, I promise you will feel better, you will, you will be happy and smile again :)

    Oh yeah and what Eddy says in his articles is all trueeeeeeeeeeeee so just follow the nooooooooooooooo contact rule and take good care of yourselves.. eat well, excercise and be close to those who loveeee youu and who care about you.

    God Bless you.

    Happy Again

  • Mandah

    I mistakenly remained in contact with my ex for the entire year we have been broken up. We dated 2 and a half years, and broke up a year ago. The longest we have gone without talking/seeing each other has been 3 weeks. Like Ronin, i thought that by maintaining that contact, my ex would wake up and realize he wanted to be with me again. Wrong. It has drastically postponed my healing process. I’ve finally put an end to the circle we’ve been running around in for the past year and it feels like a breakup all over again. It was too painful to deal with all the hurt associated with cutting off contact so we both avoided that. I look back now and I really do wish I had done no contact so long ago. I never allowed myself to completely grieve and recover. That whole year i could have possibly met someone that would have been perfect for me, but I was too busy hoping and wishing and praying my ex would come to his senses and we’d get back together. he’s told me ever since the day we broke up that we both had changes to make, but he wanted to get back together. Here we are, a year later, and nothing’s changed. I’m still being hurt by his actions and he’s still “not ready” to get back together. I’m bothered by the fact that I knew it was completely unhealthy to keep him in my life, yet I did it anyways. Now i have to get over a faux-breakup with him for the 2nd time. NC is honestly the best way to go about things after a breakup. I wisH I had done that originally, but I’ve learned.

  • Rosie

    I was dumped in October 2010 by a guy I’d been with for a bit less than a year.  I can’t say I didn’t see it coming, but it still left me heartbroken.  I signed up to get Eddie’s helpful emails and started the healing process.

    Immediately when we broke up I knew we would never get back together.  We were too different – we hurt, frustrated, and annoyed each other too much.  We also entertained, respected and loved (I think) each other, but the negatives outweighed the positives.  However, despite knowing right from the start that we wouldn’t, and I didn’t want us, to get back together, I am still not over him.  It’s been 10 months and although I think I’ve done everything right I am still really frustrated that I am hung up on a guy who isn’t right for me.

    I’ve sustained the no contact rule extremely well: I have developed a strong friendship with my girlfriends, learned how to love myself, reconnected with my faith and taken up hobbies.  Yet I still feel really sad about him, and frequently.  I still have dreams where we get back together, and I have little or no interest in other guys.  I want to move on, but I am stuck.

    Four days ago I saw my ex (from across the other side of the street) for the first time since we broke up.  I honestly thought I was going to have a heart attack – my pulse was racing, I felt sick, my mouth went dry and I just wanted to lie in the street and cry my heart out.  I get that the healing process can be long and painful, but it feels worse now and for the past few months than it did in the two months after we first broke up.

    I’m scared that I’m not going to get over him.  He’s the first guy I’ve ever fallen for that badly, and I think I’ve got some big trust issues now.  I won’t even give other guys a chance because I don’t want to risk this happening again.

    Heartbreak aside, I am a good catch.  I’m 25 with a great career, very self-sufficient, good looking, smart, loyal and a dedicated girlfriend.  I know when I can learn to let go I’ll be in good stead to go forth and find a worthwhile relationship, but for now I am left here wondering how long it’s going to take to get to that point!

    Thanks, Ronin, for sharing your recovery story.  It’s given me some hope and I too will commit to sending my story through when I’ve fully moved on.

    • Kkalp4

      wow- i’ve been looking on this website for a long time and have found great articles and reply’s. but your reply is like reading my situation. The only difference is that I broke up with the guy because there was no deep connection with us. We were only together for 11 months. The negatives outweighed the positives big time. 
      I’ve screwed up the no=contact rule a few times but nothing too extreme. I didn’t find this website in time to learn the “non contact” rule and I wish i would have because I definitely could have started the healing part a lot faster. But at least I finally did… I also still have dreams about him and haven’t moved on. I went on one date but compared him to my ex. AND I BROKE UP WITH HIM. that has been the most difficult thing to understand. My ex supposedly loved me and would have done anything (almost anything) to stay with me but things just didn’t feel right for too long.. for so long. So I realized that I deserved more and ended things. yet 10 months later he hasn’t left my mind one day. Not one day have I gone without thinkin about him even though deep down it was right to end things. I also believe I am a catch and have a lot of positives but feel dragged down by this experience. I spent a year with him and now nearly a year getting over him. I feel as though I’ve wasted SO MUCH TIME thinking about him. I’ve tried everything to get him out of my mind, particularly distraction but NOTHING works. NOTHING. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong but I feel so lost. 
      Anyway, I read your response below (the one from 7 weeks later) and I’m happy to see you were able to move on. I currently feel crippled by this experience and need to wake up and for it all to be done!
      Thanks again for your post Rosie

  • Rosie

    AnonDC, I’ve just seen your reply.

    I wanted to share that things are heaps better for me now (7 weeks later).  Two main things have happened in the last seven weeks.

    1.  The southern hemisphere winter always takes a toll on my emotions, but this year I blamed all misery on my love life rather than realising there were bigger issues to deal with.  I’m now on antidepressants and feel far more alive and positive.

    2.  My ex made contact with me via Google Talk.  After the initial heart flutters disappeared I realised I had little interest in catching up with him.  I wasn’t interested in the update on his life, updating him on mine, asking why he broke up with me, or even asking why he contacted me.  Within minutes I realised I was far more over my ex than I’d been giving myself credit for!

    Finally I feel able to move on.  My ex is still in the world and no doubt I will see him and have to deal with my racing heart at the time, but I no longer feel totally crippled by him.  It’s a great feeling, sort of like getting your hands on the remote control of your own life after it’s been missing for months.  Anyway good luck to you all :)

  • whiteboy

    Caligirl, I was also in that situation and I know what you are going through to some extant. But yes you do have to cut her off for awhile. It was hard for me but it is what I had to do in order to finally let go of my Ex. Still hanging out with the mom might not let you fully recover from your past relationship. The way I handled it was that i wrote them a very respectful letter saying thank you for everything and that I was glad to have them in my life but I have to let go in order to move on and they were very respectful back and understood my situation.

  • Jwcnewton

    I have the same story as you
    It’s was an 8 month relationship it was my first love :$
    I have to see her everyday and have classes with her she had a new man a couple of days after we broke up what made it worse was she cheated on me a day before we broke up I only found out yesterday :(
    I know the guy she is with is a womaniser and will only fuck her about Im counting the days until she realises what a complete slag she has been… She problibly won’t, she is like poison she made it seem like everything was my fault our relationship wasnt perfect I spent more time in the gym then I did her but I still showed her my undying love for her everyday I guess it wasn’t enough. I’m young and sure I will find another girl it crazy how easy it is for them to demoralise you. My advise cut them out completely ignore them and get on with your own life you deserve better and WILL find it. Chin up
    I go back to school on monday I will have to face it sooner or later might as well grow a pair!

  • Angelafavs

    Never get to soon about love and relationship cos it very broad to tackle, but never to forget the connectivity of our heart and brain. Losing and winning are always in between about love. Do not make any unnecessary thing to do in your own life spend it with care, love and faith. peace!!!

    Please put your website url in the appropriate field of the comment form. Thanks, Eddie

  • Confused9684

    After 5 years of serious dating (we are the god parents of my nephew), talks of wedding, buying a house etc… i was left. He said the relationship went stale and something was missing. I was completely blindsided (huge lack of communication). He wasn’t happy in our relationship and felt that the next step was marriage, but he wasn’t sure I was the one for him. He can’t help thinking “there’s gotta be something more” out there. Its been 3 weeks and i just ate my first meal since it happened. I have been an absolute wreck, but am now seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I am an educated, loyal, honest person who deserves nothing but the best.

    The kicker is …… he wont stop texting me. He says we need to keep our lines of communication open, but be honest with each other if we meet someone else. He doesnt want to get back together right now, but he “hasnt ruled us out completely” either. I want to cut communication off soo bad and every time i tell him that, he responds with “fine, but that means your willing to let me go, what if we really are meant for each other” and my response is  “well if we you really wanted to be with me, we would be working this out, like normal couples do.”

    I dont know what to do. Im deeply in love and very attached to him, and i would honestly give my right arm to be back with him. I am so confused with what he is doing, and the thought of him ever having to udder the words ” i met someone else” to me- makes me sick to my stomach.

    Do i keep accepting texts from him in hopes of us working this all out, or do i cut all communication and just move on with my life?? Im so confused!

    • http://lovesagame.com Eddie Corbano

      He is holding all the power if you let him do this. His attitude is: “let’s take a look around and if there’s nothing out there for me then she’s still available”.

      Don’t make it this simple for him! You have to take your power back by starting strict “No Contact” (I show how in my free ebook).

      Eddie

  • Erika 07

    I got out of my first relationship four, almost five months ago. In a nutshell, we were long distance, and at first it was ignorantly blissful, but then it started to get really hard. So, naturally, as long distance never really works out unless if you know you’re going to eventually be with the person, we broke up. I was a wreak. This was my first relationship. We didn’t say I love you, or do anything more than fool around, so that made it easier in the end to get over it. But I moped around all summer just hoping that we’d get back together and thinking of all the memories we had together. I agree with what is said in this article. CUT OFF CONTACT. Don’t e-mail, facebook stalk, text/call, ANYTHING. Until you are completely over the person and THEY want to be just friends with you again. The distance really helped me, since I didn’t see him while I was getting over him, but all in all the no contact rule helped more than I thought it would. You learn how to make YOU happy and everything goes back to normal. Try your hardest not to rebound… find things that make you happy and take it day by day. That’s what helped me. And here’s a helpful quote: “It’ll be okay in the end. If it’s not okay, it’s not the end.” 

    I hope this helped!!!! This website certainly helped me. Thank you!!

  • p2228

    my ex had cheated on me he had been dating someone else while he was dating me.i broke up with him a month ago i had accepted the fact that it was over and i had left all my memories behind but it was then that he called me to apologize and wanted to be friends with me. I said no. But it made my life worse i cannot do anything since then i want to contact him and somehow want to here from him.He loves someone else that makes the situation worse i dont know what to do?? i am following the no-contact rule but at some point of time i give i ask my friends to contact him and let me know about him i know that is silly but is so not in my control plzz help..

    • Guest

      i’m in the same boat too. try to go out with your friends, have fun and go out on dates (just to get your mind off him). whatever you do, DO NOT, DO NOT, DO NOT contact him. if a guy wants to be with you, HE WILL CALL. i’ve had to repeat this to myself over and over again and whenever the phone rings or i get a text my heart skips a beat hoping it’s my ex…only to drop when i find out it’s not him. if you can block his number so that his calls go straight to voicemail instead of ringing, do it. (i did) and block him on facebook.

      believe me when i say this, if he wants you, he’ll make an effort to fight for you and believe me when i say this, you deserve it. everyone woman does.

    • lonely

      it is rightly said that “if you love something, set it free. if it comes back then its your’s and if it doesn’t then it never was”.you set him free and he landed with someone else…you are the only one to choose what to do next..

  • Guest

    ughhh, why do guys do this? now she probably thinks there’s still a chance for the two of you when in reality you only said that rattle her a little. i just don’t get it…

  • lonely

    bravo….love you sis!!!….just remember u deserve better…take care and forget that jerk!!!

  • Susan harmony

    I was with a guy for 4 years and he love me more than anything in this world,sudenly he was behaving strenge and he ask me to stay away from him and went with another girl,i was so confused so i order a spell from Dr.Zack and he gave me a returning spell.After four day he called me and appologize for the mistake he made.i must share this testimony to every body hinduntemple@gmail.com  is really grate if you are in the same shoe i will advise you to contact him and you will be a happy one