I know your pain … I really do. I’ve been there myself, many years ago.
More importantly, I’ve written hundreds of blog posts, thousands of emails, and spent countless hours coaching people, helping them move on from their Ex.
I know what works and what doesn’t — and I know what the dead ends are.
That’s why I’m now asking you the uncomfortable question:
How much time have you already wasted on this breakup?
Thirty years? (I’m not kidding, one client of mine holds this record.)
And another, even more insensible question (but it has to be asked):
How much time will you continue to waste on it?
I’m not asking you this lightly; as I’ve said, I’ve been there and I know what you are going through and the way you feel right now.
BUT … I’ve seen way too many of you wasting precious years of your lives, suffering over an Ex-Partner who has long since moved on.
It’s the saddest thing in the world.
And so unnecessary …
5 Dangers of Suffering for Too Long
Here’s what can happen when people suffer for longer than they should:
1. You Get Used to the Pain and Identify With It.
I’ve seen this happen so often. It’s when people cannot get over their Ex for many years. They NEED the pain, the suffering, the drama. They start to use it as an excuse for everything that’s going on in their lives.
And that’s a vicious cycle you cannot break free from with time only, because does time really heal all wounds?
Don’t fall into this trap.
2. Thinking About Them 24/7 Leaves Scars.
It’s this continual obsessive over-thinking that happens after a breakup: the “what-ifs” and “if-onlys” that keep your mind busy day and night.
It is my observation and conviction after coaching thousands of people since 2005 that this is the #1 reason for our suffering after a breakup. It leads to helplessness and depression …
And it has to be STOPPED, the quicker, the better. Problem is, most people don’t know how.
3. You Cut Yourself off From Real Love.
The longer you struggle to move on from your Ex, the longer you will have to wait for the real thing to enter your life.
It’s simple math.
I spent over two years getting over my Ex back before I finally figured out what to do. I could’ve done it in a fraction of time and been with my current wife much earlier … living the benefits of a fulfilled marriage.
4. You Cut Yourself off From Life.
Having a broken heart is an unnatural state of being. It’s not what we’re here to do.
It’s my opinion that we are supposed to enjoy life, make experiences, and live to our fullest potential.
You cut yourself off from the flow of life if you allow this breakup to pull you down too deep.
5. You Lose a Sense of “SELF.”
A breakup always comes with identity loss. How badly depends on whether you have sacrificed your essential needs during the relationship — the very things that make you tick.
The problem is that the more time you spend NOT being yourself, the more difficult it is to find the way back, to re-discover yourself.
There is a real danger here of being too far gone … I’ve seen it many times, and it makes me not just sad, but mad.
Do YOU know who you really are? I mean really deep down …
Do you know what makes you tick?
Do you feel a disconnection happening within you from the person you feel you are destined to be?
Now please pay attention now, this is important.
What’s Really Causing the Pain You Feel
Here’s what’s really responsible for the pain you feel right now (why your Ex may not be the main problem).
The pain you feel comes from:
- the disconnection you feel.
- the “damage” that the obsessive over-thinking has created.
- your hidden pain-points (I’ll get to that in a minute).
- the pressure that society and the internet has put on you.
What this really means is actually good news (I know, it doesn’t feel this way).
Now we know how to get you over your Ex the quickest way possible.
But there’s a right and a wrong way to do it; the wrong way leads to fatal mistakes that you really should avoid … That’s what the next part is all about.