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Should I Text Him? Decide After Checking This Flowchart

Created by Becca Clason

Have you ever wondered whether you should send your crush/boyfriend/ex a text message or not? Now you can easily answer this pressing question by following a simple flowchart put together by Becca Clason.

However it’s not as easy as it seems, because you have to be able to make some difficult decisions like, “Are you sure that he is your boyfriend?” or, “Do you want to stay ‘just friends’ with your Ex?”.

The flowchart is nicely done, and a funny distraction… but don’t take it too seriously, especially not the “Is he an Ex” maze. The truth is that IF you are in this very situation right now, then it will be anything but funny.

To make it clear – if you are following the No Contact Rule, then you should NOT under any circumstances text your Ex.

Otherwise… just have fun.

Your friend,
Eddie Corbano

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11 Responses to Should I Text Him? Decide After Checking This Flowchart

  1. Ella February 20, 2013 at 1:24 pm #

    My 1 and 1/2 year boyfriend broke up with me 4 months ago because i made mistakes. But he kept coming back then leaving again.. I tried so hard and did my best to make it up for him, for i regret my mistakes and admit them, but he says his feelings have changed and I believe him but at the same time when he comes back every now and then, he says how much he misses me, seeing me and wishes we were together. We are in a long distance relationship, and i planned on visiting him at the end of next month because a closure is what we need, i thought. And because he kept coming back. I got my ticket, he was thrilled, then a week later he said he had no feelings…again. I am still going, but I think I’d better not meet him. Is this the right choice?
    I do want him back, but want him to want me back. I started the no contact rule few days ago, but his birthday is in 20 days.. Shall I send him a text/email saying “Happy birthday”?

  2. Minah March 1, 2013 at 11:19 pm #

    Hi Ella. I kinda know what you’re going through. I too have an ex that I am back and forth with (we both are).
    I think it’s best if you don’t contact him, don’t wish him a happy birthday because that just demonstrates that you care when you shouldn’t because he does not consistently return the feelings. And if you do cave in a wish him a happy bday… Make it short and sound non chalant like you’re doing it out of courtesy not in a “should-I-go-online-and-ask-the-Internet” kind of way… Just be cool if you must send one at all. A simple “Happy birthday! I didn’t forget :b have a good bday!” Should suffice and would probably be read in a butt hurt manner by him because it sounds like you’re doing just fine without him :)

  3. Joanne April 3, 2013 at 8:28 pm #

    I’m going to an important function tomorrow night and a conference for 3 days and I’m nervous that my x might be there with the woman he left me for.
    I’ve done no contact for 2 months and am wondering if I should send him a very short e-mail ( I blocked his phone #) telling him I’m planning on going and to give me a “heads up” if he’s going so that I can make an informed decision about what I want to do .
    BTW, his new GF ( who was his x before me) HATES me ( and I’m not too fond of her) and seeing them together would set me back to the beginning. However , I also don’t want him controlling what I do or don’t do.

  4. coco April 26, 2013 at 2:28 am #

    Hi everyone,

    I’m new here, but been reading for a long time and would love some advice

    I’ve met this guy online about 3 months ago. lots of texting in the beginning and calling, before we ever had met he said he had deactivated his account because he liked me, I did the same about a week later.

    After that we met for a speed date which went great

    we met up 2 other times which went really good as well. After that we had an argument and I wrote to him that it was best not to see each other again. I can be rather hot headed so a week later I regretted it and send him a message. he replied immediately and said he was very happy that I had contacted him again. we met up a week later and again it went great. in total we have met up 7 times.

    now here is my thing…..we never talked about being exclusive, but we speak everyday via text mostly and we call every few days. he seems very into me and even said he is falling in love and can’t wait to share new moments together and he has asked me to go away with him for a weekend

    My friend was over and we were on the internet and she said let’s check out the dating site (my account was deactivated until then) I log in and when I went through my messages I saw his profile!!!
    I didn’t want to click on it (obviously he would see that) so my friend created a profile and clicked on it. it said he was last online 3 days ago.

    I’m really disappointed, I am NOT a dater and quite shy. I met him after talking to him for 3 weeks and that was quick for me. also he is the first man after my ex….

    I wrote him a message saying I was disappointed and that I didn’t feel like sharing my feelings and being intimate with someone who was still looking around

    he wrote back that he was busy at work and would talk later.

    he never wrote or called me and has taken his profile down…..

    this all happened about a week ago

    • CHAU April 29, 2015 at 2:59 am #

      Hi Coco,

      My story is similar, I met my ex on dating site we spent nearly 5 months contacting with around 1 month staying together, after a trip we were together he changed we argued then now I found out he still keep looking for girls on dating site with paid membership when I contact asking him he said he loves me, he misses me, he wants me, he is busy then I see him online again. Then he said he misses me, he loves me, he wants me then he is online again.

  5. Angry dumpee October 26, 2013 at 8:24 am #

    Is it ok to contact them and gloat, when they dumped you by text and gloated that their life was better off without you? I was devastated and never cheated.

  6. Joanne December 7, 2015 at 9:12 am #

    My ex broke up with me about 2 month ago. He told me he don’t know why he have to end this relationship and he don’t if he feel lost or tired as we always fight for a past thing and he need to focus on his study. He also told me, he hope everything will back to ‘honeymoon’ stage again but he have to let me go and said he don’t want to wasted my time as I told him, i will wait for him no matter how long. It’s have been 3 week we NC each other. He is a stubborn person, no matter how he love me or miss me, he wont be the 1st to call me. Should I text him after 30days NC? What I should text?

    • virgo lady December 9, 2015 at 10:06 pm #

      Hi joanne

      My ex is like your ex,he would never initiate a conversation but I think that if someone really wants to get hold of you,they do.I’m doing NC and his sons birthday is coming,I won’t say anything not because I don’t care but because I’ve decided to put myself first. People like them like having some sort of power over someone,don’t give it to him,do not contact him cz if he wants to talk to you he will put his ego and pride aside and call you but if those things are still number one to him then it will be a never ending battle,you’ll always imitate things.let him work for you if he says he loves you,for now focus on you.forget him.

  7. Lucy December 25, 2015 at 9:08 pm #

    Me and my ex broke up around 2months ago, we had around 3 weeks of completely no contact and now he’s decided to pop up a couple of times, I’ve been trying to play it in a way that makes him want me back, so I haven’t answered a couple of times and other times been blunt and made it out as if I’m doing just fine. Which I am not, I do want him back but I’m not sure how I’m meant to play it from here? he tells me he hates being without me, and I don’t tell him I feel the same, should I start telling him this now to slowly get him back? or do I continue to play it cool and play the waiting game? I feel like he will soon give up if I don’t give him anything to go on?

  8. Annie February 20, 2016 at 8:12 pm #

    My Boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. During this time my mother passed away from cancer and we have moved in together into a property that I have purchased. My Boyfriend and I are the same age, 25. He has been unemployed for over a year now and I have had to start working extra hours on the weekend to pay the bills. I thought that he understood that I had to work, however today he sat on the couch doing nothing while I was working. I then stopped working to spend time with him and half way through our first movie, he got up and decided to go to a friends house because we are drifting? I told him I thought he was rude doing this, he just threatened to leave me and left? Everytime we have an argument he threatens to leave me and im so scared and confused. All I do is try to make the situation better for him, I have no family and my friends stay far away? I really dont know what to do anymore? I dont know if I must wait it out for him to find a job and get better? Or whether I should let him go, cause he will never come back?

  9. Aniket March 21, 2016 at 3:28 am #

    my 1year gf brokeup with me 2months ago bec her brother and father read the text which i have sent her and a i love u baby message which is sent by her school freind. After that she decided to broke up with me but did not stop to talk to that guy because he help her in studies as they both are in same course(my gf is doing through correspondence and he is from regular college). This breakup totaly devastated me and i beg to her to come back but she didnot she even said that she is in love with that guy (i dont she was lying or not).but she kept coming and leaving again . She blocked me from every where and then after 2-3days she unblocked me then text me and call me and then say that how much she misses me , wants to hug me, And also said that she feel regret that why she done this all and always praises about that guy nd when i told that dont tell me about that guy i dont feel gud then she just say sorry and after that she again blocked me . This block unblock game and same dialogues were exchanged after every 3-4day. One day i asked her if u have to choose between me and that guy to whom she will save she said that she will save both and cant choose one becuse he is friend and i was her love. But from 13march i m not picking up her phones calls and not responding toher text. 2days ago my sister text her and asked that whether she is in love with that guy but she replied that he is just a friend and also said that why u guys always asked about him and sometimes she frustated by these question and think that she should come in relation with that guy by force. My sister also asked her whether she wants to come again with me she replied that she dont know any thing and currently she wants to be alone and then she blocked my sister too. My sister told me about these next morning. Now what should i do? If she call me again should i receive ? After 2days HOLI is coming should i wish her or not over phone or mesgs? And plz guys help me to know that whether she will come in my life or not.and should i accept her if she again come in my life?

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