“Take the first step in faith. You don't have to see the whole staircase, just take the first step.”
– Martin Luther King, Jr.
Take the first step in faith.
That's a lot to ask when it comes to starting the 60 days of No-Contact for getting over the person you once were so close with.
After a break-up, the first thing that's usually on our mind is restoring the status that was before. No matter the cost.
All we want is for things to go back to as we were again – before everything fell apart.
“We'll work it out once we are back together again.” That's often the plan.
But we so easily ignore the cracks that were in the relationship.
We ask ourselves all kinds of questions, like for example, “Why won't the Ex work on patching things up?” or, “Why have they given up on us?”
The answers elude us … at least in the beginning.
It takes a lot of pain, denial, and embarrassment until we finally come to the conclusion that we can't go on like this.
Something has to change.
What we might or might not realize at this time, is that the “change” must be more radical than we thought.
Staying friends with the Ex and pretending that nothing has happened doesn't work – something we might learn the hard way.
An addict cannot recover when the “drug” is right in front of them.
That is why a lasting solution can only be to remove the “drug.”
Since I've started to teach “break-up recovery” late in 2005, my approach has always been that the concept of No-Contact was indispensable for breaking the Ex-Addiction and getting over them.
And since then, I've constantly looked for better and more efficient ways to help people to go through 60 days of No-Contact much easier and less painful.
The main two problems most people have with following the No-Contact Rule are:
- We're afraid that we miss chances
- We cannot stand the emotional turmoil
That is why so many of us are afraid to take the first step.
Or we take the step, but jump back two steps right away and give up.
I really know how it feels. You know that I've been there.
It feels as if an important part of your body and soul is missing. And you want to know the whereabouts of that missing “part,” because you feel that you can't live without it.
So we stay put … maybe they will change their mind.
But believe me, this is all an illusion. A self-imposed limitation.
We CAN do all the things we thought were unthinkable. We CAN live without our Ex. We CAN even thrive after that.
All it takes is your willingness to try.
And to take the first step.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.
– Lao-tzu
Today I invite ALL of you to take the first step.
Take this first step in faith, even IF you don't see the staircase, even IF you don't believe in the efficiency of No-Contact.
Believe in yourself and believe in your recovery.
Write the No-Contact letter, (see my newsletter for details), and cut off contact completely for 60 days.
I know that you are afraid… even terrified.
But IF you want to heal and use this experience to be more confident and successful, then you HAVE to take this first step.
Once you take that step, I can almost guarantee that you will LOVE the staircase… once you see it.
So, don't think too much about it … just do it, and before you know it your recovery will have started.
Your friend,
Eddie Corbano
P.S.: Have you started No-Contact already? How were the first days? Please tell me below in the comment-section.
I’ve been in many break-ups, i’ve put my heart and soul in these relationships only to come tot the conclusion that in the end we were not compatible. It became easier with each break-up to recover from it because of one thing; NO CONTACT!
Remove your ex from all your social network sites, and not just that, BLOCK them as well, so you cant look at their pics anymore, and they can not look at yours, really, de-friendig them is not enough, you wil still be looking at their pages, and for what!?
I love myself but there is still work to do, i’ve come to the point where i have absolutely no expectations of a new woman stepping into my life, i just wait and see what happens and basically be my own humorous self, i fall in love without fear but i also fall out of love when we break up…this sounds simple, but i’ve been through the pain and suffering big-time many times before so i’ve learned how to cope with it…but all those bad experiences never made me affraid to start a new relationship, i just wanted to say that, dont get ‘bitter’ or anything like that.
The main thing and first step about letting go of your ex is NO CONTACT, it works…even here in The Netherlands where i come from 🙂
Thanks for your support Eddie!
After 13 years (10 married) it is over. It was verbally, emotionally abusive (sometimes physical). I stayed. Through the hurt, pain and loneliness. He threw me and my children (from my first marriage) out of our home. I immediately picked up my life. I had a new home and vehicle the next day. Although I am going through the motions, it feels hollow and pointless. He has started at least one relationship within weeks of me leaving. I have no desire to even try to find someone. He is the first thing I think of in the morning, the last at night and so many countless times throughout the day. I have little contact with my family and I completely immersed myself in his. But I was told that at the end of the day that he was their blood. I feel completely alone. Although I have friends, they are all married or in relationships. I feel so many emotions and I can’t seem to see a light at the end of this. He managed to contact me to tell me that he was “ill and dying soon” and “it didn’t matter because I hated him anyways” and that I would get all of his money. But I know he is not dying. When I pressed he refused to discuss it further. Why? Who does that? I just want it to stop hurting and just be better,
Hey guys,
I was in a relationship with my ex for two years. Unfortunately, we got together at the start of my freshman year in college, so I am now left wondering how I’m going to survive being in the same school on the same campus without him. I am unable to do the NC guideline as I see him nearly everyday in the library, in class, etc.
The breakup happened somewhat suddenly. Over winter break, I noticed that he wasn’t really interested in spending time with me anymore. He blamed it on being busy (he is an engineer after all) so I accepted that and focused on myself. Once I returned to school, I discussed the issue with my roommate who suggested I just ask him flat out if he was still interested in having a relationship with me.
When I did, he told me he had been meeting up with a girl over the break and for several months and was planning on marrying her. This COMPLETELY blindsided me. He said he was mainly doing it to get a green card in order to find work in the US, but that the girl wanted a real relationship in return and thus he would be unable to be with me AND her at the same time. He said that he found us to be incompatible, and that he wouldn’t consider marrying me because this other girl is rich, sexy, and doesn’t seem to want anything else from him to seal the deal.
He doesn’t understand how I can be so heart broken. He sees what he’s doing as a way to better his career opportunities. He expects me to understand that and move on. But how can I when the entire time we were together he would tell me that he truly cared for me and wanted to be with me out of love and nothing more. And he expects me to be able to forget him as easily as he has apparently forgotten me. I’m not sure what to do or how I will be able to survive the rest of my college years. I don’t know college without him.
How can I heal when I am forced to see him almost daily? How can I keep myself from driving to his house or recalling heartfelt memories in the middle of class to where I have to excuse myself and cry in the hallway? I would really appreciate it if someone could give me advice.
Hi everyone,
So thankful for coming across this site and have people share similar experiences of the story you think YOU only have.
I’m on day one of the NC, but we broke up 5 months ago. I always had hope that he’d change his mind and we could get back together, and he insisted on keeping contact, saying I was such an important person in his life and that he couldn’t picture it without me. We saw each other routinely, we texted nonstop every day, we even still slept together – sigh. Bad decision.
I regret not having the courage to love myself and protect myself. This past week has made me realize that I need to finally accomplish the first step, NC. It was a horrible conversation but I’m so happy I did it. One side of me is terrified of my life without him (we’d been together three years + the past 5 months), but the other side of me is so relieved that I’m finally starting my journey to recovery.
Can’t wait to feel carefree again! Hopefully I won’t cave.
Elyse
Elyse,
Good job for taking care your needs. Focus on you & things will get easier.
I’m on day 21- it’s still a bit of a roller coaster but I’m starting to shift my focus to what I need to do to heal myself.
Perhaps I’m moving into stage 2?
Hi Brandy,
Thank you for having commented on my post! On day 4 of no contact, feeling pretty good but still having nightmares. Luckily I have the most amazing friends in the world!
Perhaps you are moving into stage 2. Wishing you the best in your own personal recovery. We’re fighters, we can do this! Nothing and no one can bring us down!
Elyse
Hi Elysse,
Just let the ‘poison’ drain from your mind. I’m glad you have friends & support. I dated a narc & have very few friends left. The thing that pisses me off is he has all these friends around the city & I run into some when I go to the grocery store. I don’t talk to them & they don’t talk to me but I see the way they look at me & it’s pity that I see. I don’t know what he’s been saying but it makes me so damn mad.
I can’t believe I was so foolish. Never in a million years would I date someone like that again- just a waste of skin. Unfortunately everyone else thinks it’s me. But whatever, I’m probably safer this way, since he seems to be an ‘unstable narc’.
as i already mentioned above i am on 20 th day of nc .i found something very interesting on my healing journey .it works for me so i would like to share it with u people .it is obvious that whenever past memories come to u ,u try to distract ur thoughts by many techniques as mentioned by eddie in different forms .u can choose technique which suits u the best.suppose u want to be a cricketer ,now whenever u think of ur ex ,u have to distract ur thought from ur ex and started to viszualize urself as cricketer with halmets on(this technique is mentioned by eddie somewhere on this site),now u have to move one step ahead ,try to interpret ur feelings of future (cricketer) in foreign language ,in language which u r not at ease ,that really helps to distract much effectively.
I am on day 4 of NC and I hate to admit but this isn’t the first time that I have attempted to implement the NC rule. I seem to break everytime because he is so presistent. I have never encountered a man so relentless. I have been reading this site for awhile and everyone’s responses and it has helped a lot but today I decided I should post my story in hopes of getting some feedback and also because today I am feeling particularly low. I am not sure where to even start it all seemslike a dream at this point…a very bad dream. I have been on this rollercoaster for almost 2 years now and I just want off. I see that many of the readers have similar stories so I know my story isn’t unique by any means but it still doesn’t take away the pain and confusion that I feel. I met my “boyfriend” in Jan of 2012. I was doing contract work with his company and he was the employee that I was assigned to work with for a year period.( I must also mention I was/am working abroad in Europe far away from my family and where the language and customes are very different from the States.) The first day we met it was obvious that there was an attraction but I have always been a firm believer in not bringing your personal life to the office so I remained very professional. During this time we had to spend a lot of one on one time together and grew very close. He begain sharing very personal and intimate details about his life with me and I refrained from doing so because I did not want to complicate things at the office. It wasn’t until around 5 months into the project that he attempted to kiss me when we were exiting a meeting room together. I stopped him and told him his behavior was inappropriate and that he was also MARRIED and should not be doing such things. I am also almost 9 years younger than he is (28/37) At that point I also asked to be assigned elsewhere to finish the project and told him that if he was that unhappy in his marriage he would sort out his issues and then contact me when he was available if he was genuinely interested in me. Three months later he contacted me and asked to meet with me because he had formally separated from his wife and wanted to show me the papers. So a few weeks later I finally met with him and he did in fact show me the papers validating the separation. I (now realize) foolishly accepted his invitation out to dinner….well it was all over after that…things started to move very very fast and several months later we had moved in together. I realize now this was a very very bad idea considering he was still only separated. I definitely had my rose colored glasses on. Things were going very well between us but things were not going so well with his divorce proceedings. On Jan 1 his wife contacted him and told him if he did not come back to her by the 2nd of Jan she would take their two children to another city, his hometown 3 hours away and where they had lived prior to moving to our current city. We broke up and he moved out and I planned on saying goodbye forever. It was a horribly painful day. Then on the 5th of Jan he had left his passport in one of the nightstand and asked to come over and get it. I told him I would leave it on the kitchen table and he was free to come and get it whenever he would like. He still had keys to the flat because the lease was signed in his name too. Anyway he came to pick up the pp and of course I happened to be home when he did this. He begged to come back but asked for time to sort out the divorce because he didn’t want his children to move away and not be able to see them everyday. I told him to officially get his stuff sorted and contact me once he was 100 percent available but that I would continue living my life. So I moved out of the flat that we had shared into a new flat, changed my phone number and had started working on a new assignment in a different office and wouldnt see him but he still was able to contact me through email. He would email everyday for 6 months…in June when the kids finished school they moved with their mother away to their old home and he remained here and asked to meet me to show me the official divorce papers. I agreed to meet with him and he showed me the signed documents. After which I had plans for summer vacation to go away for a month and half and I told him to take that time to take care of himself and be sure that he was emotionally ready to start a relationship. We messaged everyday during that month in half and when we both returned in Sept we met and decided to start things in a proper way. I refused to move in with him and asked that we take things very slow. These last 4 months have been extreme highs and lows. He started to become very controlling, jealous and suspicious of everything I did. I had not done anything to warrant this behavior so I started to distace myself from him about two months ago. These were red flags that something definitely wasnt right but I just could figure out if it was because he hadnt allowed himself enough time to recover and adjust or if it was something else. All I know is my gut was screaming run run run like hell but my heart obviously was in complete oposition to my gut/head. We separated and came back together 2 or 3 times during this period because I would alway break my NC when he would persue me like crazy until I gave in. It is one thing I have learned the hard way living in this country. The men here are nothing like American men. The men in this country thrive on dramatic gestures. The crying and begging is like nothing that I have ever encountered when dating in the states. Fast forward to this past weekend and thats when I reached my limit. I finally HAD to know what exactly was going on with his erratic bahavior so I asked him…. Are you actually divorced because you haven’t mentioned anything about the divorce or how things are going with the ex and the children adjusting in quite sometime. This is when the sh*t hit the fan….he admitted to me that the papers had not been finalized because of the mandate about the children and that their mother would be getting full custody, which is very common practice when filing for divorced in our city. He would only be allowed to see them for 2 days every 15 dasy. He told me he wasn’t willing to agree to that and was fighting for shared custody and therefore the divorce had not yet been finalized and wouldnt be until the issue was resolved. I was livid….he should have told me this as soon as it became an issue and I would have gone my own way and let him deal with his issues and continued on with my own life. He had been selling me on a lie for almost 4 months and 4 torturous months at that. I realized in that moment with sheer certainty that this man did not respect or love me and would never be capable of such things. He was a liar and a cheater. I have obvioulsy left out a lot of details of my story but this is the meat of it. I am devastated to say the least….I can’t believe someone would lie about something so huge and it feels like everything he ever told me was a lie. The minute I parted ways with him this Monday I stopped all lines of communication. He sent me a very long email telling he how sorry he is for everything and how he wishes me the best for the future..yadda yadda yadda. I have not replied and I will not ever reply/ I am angry more than anything. He made me the other woman by not beng honest with me about his situation. He was selfishly just stringing me along…. The no contact has been hard I think mainly because I feel blindsided by the lies and also I am used to seeing or speaking to him everyday. If I wasnt waking up with him or going to bed with him I would get a good morning and good night phone call. It is these little things that are making it hard, daily habits that envolved him. I know I dont want anything with him ever again and it is definitely over. I am just getting a lot of anxiety these last few days because of his history of sticking to the same pattern like clock work….he will agree in a very mature way that we should go our separate ways but he always ends up contacting me again pleading professing his undying love *manipulation I realize now*…….we have never gone more than 2 weeks without some kind of contact (professional/personal) during the entire time that we have known one another. I just want this whole thing to be over and done with. I am tired and feel like after all this I dont really even know who I am anymore…. The old me would have told him on Jan 5 to get the hell out of my life and stay out of my life FOREVER. She would have never allowed this to happen. I wish I had in retrospect. It would have saved me a lot of heartache. I am trying to stay strong and stick to NC forever this time….I cant take anymore. I am young, childless, and mobile…I have so much more to look forward to in life.
Thank you for your story. I decided yesterday to start NC today and I am so happy I found this website yesterday. I am still so emotional but everyone’s stories are so encouraging. I miss the daily contact so much that I feel like I can’t breathe without him. I know in my head that I will eventually be okay, it’s just my heart and my memories that will not let me accept it and move on. I am really sad and disappointed. Maybe one day I will have the courage to share my story and be encouraging for someone else like you have been for me today. Thank you and I wish you the best.
Hi Eddie!
My ex and I broke up last year 2013 in June and have stayed in contact ever since. He made the call to end things because he has a “fear of relationshits” – yes he is 30 and that’s what he calls it… mature…. We had been together for 6 years but broke up for 7 months during and got back together. My bad for thinking things will change. Anyway we stayed in contact, mainly from my side but he made no effort in not responding and also when we bumped into each other he would contact me because I guess he was reminded of me for that moment in time. I went to go see a psychologist to try get enough motivation to break the contact and stay strong. So after each session I would say goodbye to him but after about a week of staying strong I would break or he would. It became embarrassing! I was not the girl I had become and he was not the only one to blame… I was for allowing him to play me like a puppet. Anyway I completely stumbled across your page and this really rang bells and I’m glad you mention that the contact is like a drug because it really and truly is! I am a smoker so I know the feeling of trying to quit, quitting and the process during quitting.
I am now on day 36…
Feeling strong but having slight anxiety attacks (breathing into a bag for 20 seconds helps)
I am fearing the day I have to learn of his new “relationshit” with a girl he now calls a “relationship”
But definitely feeling stronger, happier and filled with confidence and not self-loathing thoughts of failure when contacting him.
Thanks for the extra boost I needed for today.
Regards,
Estelle
Hi, for me it’s been 4 months since the breakup, and even if I thought I made significant progress in the healing process, in these days I found myself hitting rock bottom. My question is, how can I heal and make my complete way through these 60 days of no-contact if I and my ex go to the same school, have so common friends and have to bump into eachother so many times a day? Since the breakup I haven’t sent her a single message or called her, but when she sees me at school she comes and talks to me like she would do to a good friend. I’m afraid that I’ll loose so many other friends in this process.
I am on 18 the day of nc rule and it is over two months she broke up with me.i know it is very painful as i go through it, in fact going through it. I must say don’t try to restrict yourself to your common friends, meet them on daily basis gradually you desensitize yourself,with each new meeting you become much better.
Hi, my boyfriend of two and half years broke up with me 5days ago and it is obviously still very raw. He wasnt happy anymore but couldnt tell me anymore. He said it was nothing I had done but he didnt see us having a future together. I feel I tried so hard in the relationship and have failed. Part of me felt sometimes that we were both so different and I dont think I was truly happy but now I keep thinking I was expecting too much. We used to speak everyday and see each other nearly everyday and now I feel lost without him. I havent contacted him since because I know that there is no point because its over and he contacted me either. Ive packed up all the reminders of him and put them in a box as I dont want to dump them..he was a huge part of my life and I love him still. All my friends are in relationships or married and I feel so alone. I have no appetite and struggling to sleep, dreaming about us every night. I just want advice as how I can take positive steps forward.
Thank you and best wishes to everyone currently trying to get back up from heartbreak.
This is my second time visiting your site. The first time it saved my life… I’m here today because i have found myself going through ANOTHER breakup. I’m not here for advice, because I learned the first time. NC is definitely the difference between healing and not healing. I’m here to thank you, and give back to you all. I’m going through another breakup, and even if I became stronger from my previous one, we can’t stop being human!! Any breakup is hard! It’s important to learn lessons, remember the lessons but mostly to be our worst and best friends. Through this breakup I decided to write out my emotions. It helps soooo much when you’re alone, specially if you’re going through the imperative NC rule. Even the strongest have times of doubt and pain. It’s a breakup, its normal to feel the emotions they bring out of us. I decided to write to myself and talk to myself through my breakup. Some of the emotions (as seen during the older posts) show how we react to a breakup. I’m positive most of you have the same feelings of doubt, denial, anger, and finally acceptance. Those are the steps we go through when we mourn. That’s what we are doing when we are going through a break up. We are mourning the loss of a person that once was part of my life. Let yourself go through the steps, but always stay positive. You can read my blog at Talkswithleny.blogspot.com and see how harsh and gentle I was and am to myself to get through this. YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS!!! Much love to you all, and again thank you for the support you once gave me when I needed it the most 3 years ago 🙂
Hi i just broke up with my ex we were together in an off an on relationship for two years we had many problems so finally decided to end it how to i start the nc when i feel sad i want talk to her? Is it right to say happy bday her bday is next month on the 29 does that apply to the no contact rule?
Hi Nancy, welcome to our site.
Yes, sending birthday wishes is breaking the rule and sends you straight back to day one.
Hang in there!
Hi all,
it is almost New Years Eve, so the best time to start a new life 😀
I do not know how relevant it is for you, but in my case: it has ended roughly half a year ago, and I had plenty of time thinking about my life. And in the end I had to admit, that the pain belonging to the breakup was my fault, 100%. Basically I did not know who I am, what I my needs and wants, I did not communicate it in a clear and univocal way. Had I did so it would have been clear after a short probing/testing period that we are not really compatible to each other, so we could have departed without all the emotional investment and the related pain.
So in the end it a breakup as terrible as it is (part of me still finds my Ex a very special person… who is just not compatible with me) is an opportunity to learn… I hope I can, and I hope you can also.
(BTW: as a result I have a much healthier relationship with my family and my colleagues too)
Hi thank you for this site it has been a lifeline over the last few days. 18 months ago I was dumped but the problem is we work together. I have tried to move on but she has wanted to keep me as a friend and I haven’t been able to stay away from her. I found out last week she has started a new relationship and it’s been soul destroying. I don’t blame her at all I just don’t want to feel as I do. I ended up in a terrible way on the weekend. I have finally told my family and friends the truth about how much contact I’ve had and am going to find a new job but am struggling. Your site is helping though I feel if I can get through the next few weeks maybe there is a light at the end of the tunnel .
Hi everyone,
It has been 3 weeks since my ex decided to end things out of the blue…for the third time. He ended things every other time with me and I always jumped back to him because I loved him that much. I am currently a college student; we met about a year and a half ago at school. One of the first times I hung out with him I saw he was texting another girl, saying I love you and you’re beautful, but he denied having any relations with her. Being a gullible girl, I believed him…or so I thought. Since then our relationship was on and off and this third time, I finally realized it was due to my lack of trust in him. It really is true without ttrust in a relationship you have nothing.
I have been NC since the day of the break up. I still wish everyday he will eventually realize what he has lost and contact me somehow. I know it’s probably for the best that he doesn’t, it’s just hard to realize that now. it’s been a long 21 days and I’ve lost confidence in meeting someone who will treat me right. I am open to any advice so please reply!
It has been 38 days since my ex broke off our two and a half year relationship with a Skype instant message. It was such a surprise to me and was devastating. We haven’t spoken since. It hurt so much that I couldn’t bear to do any cyber-snooping or checking at all. And the ride has been up and down – sometimes overwhelming sadness still knocks me over even though I know the relationship wasn’t good for me since he was abusive. Today has been extremely difficult for some reason – almost as bad as during the first week.
So I just thought I’d post – it helps to rely on others. I hope other posters here are doing well!
It’s day 1 for me wish me luck ( we work in the same place which complicates the scenario slightly) ! Hopefully it’ll get a bit easier every day
After 2 years together I found out that my now ex was meeting up with other people of the internet (he stupidly left his facebook logged in on my laptop), I also found messages on his phone before this from other women but he always made me feel like I was the one going mental and that it was only ‘banter’, I was stupid enough to beleive him. before all this he broke up with me twice in 6 months and always tried to blame me. I was the one that wasnt giving him enough attention, I was the one who was nagging all the time, I was the one who was more interrested in college an making a better life for myself when i should be spending time with him. Both the times he broke up with me he came running back with the same old story ”i didnt mean it im sorry blah blah blah” He really messed my head around and I loved him so i always took him back. We went through a lot together as I found out stuff about myself that i wouldnt have otherwise….I found out i had vaganismus and polycystic ovaries…..I always though he was surportive…until now i look back and he use to have his little digs ”ive been there for you” ive put up with a lot from you” ”not a lot of men would do this” (we couldnt have intercourse through out our relationship because of my condition). I actually got it in my head that know one else will love me!
Anyway for last 6 months of our relationship i started to suffer really bad anxiety attacks (around the time i found the messages and he started breaking up with me ).
The day I found the messages on facebook, was the day my life turned upside down i was pushed to my limit and fell into depresion, he tried to talk me round for the 3rd time but i was strong enough to not let him although it was killing me inside. I was pushed to my limit and ended up taking an big overdose i was in a really bad place, That was when i broke the no contact rule and text him ( I have no idea what i said, i was out of it ), while in hospital i got a text from him that i can still remember word by word (I cant phone you anymore im just about to start work) that really hit it on the head for me, he was a different man to who i feel in love with.
Its been a month today since i took that overdose, ive changed my number and deleted my facebook, and feel so much better for it, im starting to sort myself out an get help with my anxiety, i still get days when all i can think about is him, and i write it all down, how im feeling what im thinking ect, Im still going college and i am so determind to finish. i didnt belelive anyone when they said you will feel better and the pain will ease,
I have still got a long way to go, but i can see a tiny light at the end of the tunnel. anyone who feels down, please believe me it will get better, and it can only get better 🙂
I broke the NC… and in a horrible way. I called his phone in the middle of the night crying and basically begging him to come home. I hate myself this morning and feel stupid. Starting NC again today.
i completed my 60 day no contact months ago. the first few days were absolute hell. so were the remaining days. my ex was always in my head with memories, or questions. and every day around me there were reminders. songs at work that i had no control over, seeing a replica of his vehicle, running into people with his name, and reminders through tv shows i watched. when the 60 days were over i felt no better than i had the day of the break up. the break up was in march and the no contact started in may and ended in aug. to this day i still feel no better. i feel the squeezing pain in my heart and gut, hes in my thoughts all the time, sometimes my dreams. they say time heals all wounds but its been 8 months and im still as in love with him and miss him as i did the day before i found out what was going on and we broke up. my 60 day no contact didnt help me.
Hey Ashley…healing from a breakup might needs a lifetime but how you deal with breakup will determine how fast u can heal. 60 days are not enough from a relationship you believed in, trusted, given all the love you can offer & more!! & at a sudden BANG…all is gone and u r alone!!!
60 days of nc is a big challenge for you for not contacting Ur ex. Despite of the urge u have inside or trace how he’s doing. & believe me from my actual experience I’m proud of my self for not contacting my ex for the whole 11 monthsp..will give you inner strength no one else can give it to you…give Ur self the opportunity to live Ur life, whenever u remember him try to distract your self in anything, if u feel u need to text him then write what u want on Ur electronic note and once finished delete it
One thing that is still helping me to go on in my life and trying to forgettig my ex is to think that while you’re crying over your ex, he’s out there enjoying his time, although he knows how bad u feel or live…don’t give them the pleasure in destroying u & Ur life while they are moving on with theirs in the best they want…be strong dear…hang in there..
Hi Ashley,
I know how are you feeling. I was also feeling the same some times ago and there are still times when I cannot control thinking about her. But that times are also becoming less and less.
Everything reminded me of her., going to market, seeing a shop and her name written on top of it. Every girl of her height and hairstyle gave me goosebumps. But now my heart has become so strong seeing and feeling all these it doesn’t bother anymore. Even if I get upset I immediately come out of it.
Believe me you will feel better Ashley. Time will heal our wounds but as Eddie has said in one of his articles we should also do something for our healing like exercising meditating & doing things what we like. It helped me and I believe it will help you too. See how courageous and strong you are, 8 months have passed and you did not call or message your ex. That’s a very good thing. You can live without him.
Keeping posting Ashley
Hi Jo, firstly I feel your pain. I get it, trust me!! I’ve been there, and I understand that taking them back again and again, just puts a massive amount of power into their hands. They don’t believe they can actually lose you, so they will keep doing whatever they want. Be strong Hun. You are going through no contact because you want a better life. Stick with NC. It works, it takes time and you do feel like contacting them, but don’t. Just don’t and you will slowly start to feel freer and freer as time goes by. You will start to feel as if you are now in control of your own life. Good luck