The other day, I asked you if you were interested in private one-on-one coaching with me. I want to help you personally to move on from your Ex and either find new love or be happy alone.
I didn’t want to spend a bunch of time creating a coaching program if no one was interested, so I asked you to let me know if you wanted it.
And the response was a resounding “YES!”
I’ve had HUNDREDS of people express interest via blog comments, emails, or survey responses.
I was both blown away and humbled. I am so thankful for all the encouragement and support I’ve received from you.
In the following, I’d like to share my thoughts about my private coaching program, what I think it should look like…
… And I’d like your input and opinion about it.
Your Journey to Recovery
Your journey to recovery takes you through the “7 Stages of a Breakup” (everyone has to go through these):
- The Shock Phase —>
- The Denial Phase —>
- The Mad Phase —>
- The Emotional Roller-Coaster Phase —>
- The Acceptance Phase —>
- The Conscious Disengagement Phase —>
- The Moving On Phase
The goal of my coaching program is first to determine WHERE in these seven stages you are right now, and what the best individual way for you is to get where you want to be.
Your situation is unique, so my job is to come up with a plan to make sure you get from stage X to stage 7.
From where you are right now —> to emotional freedom, new love, a better life.
The problem is to KNOW where exactly you are right now. It's not easy to know.
And that’s where my expertise comes in.
How to Know When You're over Your Ex?
How do you actually know that you are over your Ex-Partner?
How does it feel? How does that look like?
Is it “just” the absence of pain?
Is it “just” defeating the obsession?
In the 14 years that I'm doing this, I’ve witnessed over and over again, that the absence of obsession and pain does NOT necessarily mean that you are over them.
That’s a deception that many people fall for.
Maybe you’ve experienced it yourself:
Feeling better, hoping that you’ve recovered…
… then you hear news about your Ex (new relationship, getting married, happier than ever, etc.).
BOOM… it’s back to square one.
Often even worse than before.
This is NOT real recovery.
How Does True Recovery Look Like?
In a nutshell:
True recovery is when you can stand in front of your Ex and feel NOTHING. Complete neutrality.
THEN you know that you are over him or her. Definitely.
Your whole world-view will have changed.
You will be…
- Free of anger and resentment.
- Feeling happy, emotionally at peace, enjoying life.
- Open for new people and experiences.
You will breathe again without it hurting.
Think about it for a minute.
You’ll be FREE to be YOU. Without remorse or feeling bad about it.
And when you are ready… you’ll attract the perfect person for you.
Have the healthy, happy, loving relationship that you deserve.
This is how it looks like to be recovered entirely from this breakup.
The good news is, you do NOT need to meet your Ex to know that you are over them.
How I Can Help You to Get There…
It’s entirely possible to get there in just eight weeks.
I’ve seen it countless times.
It takes determination, the will to overcome the obstacles that present themselves, and most of all…
It takes YOU being fed up to the teeth with the situation as it is.
I will help you to get there.
In your coaching with me, we’ll determine where you are and where you want to be in eight weeks. We agree on a “game-plan” to get you there.
In weekly calls and emails, I’ll then provide you with the knowledge, accountability, inspiration, and compassion to GET where you want to be at the end of these eight weeks.
In each session, we’ll discuss your questions, make course corrections if necessary, and agree on goals for the next week.
I’ll make sure that you stay on course to recovery (even IF you are your worst enemy).
I’ll be there for you at every step of the way!
This approach has always worked in the past with clients.
I Need Your Input
In a nutshell, this is how the Ex-DETOX Course program will look like.
I’m still figuring out the details and testing out some software programs to manage what we’re all creating here.
But I should have an official offer and application page for the private coaching program class soon (likely next week).
Again, thank you so much for your support and encouragement through all of this. It really has meant the world to me!
I appreciate your thoughts on all of this. What do YOU think? Please let me know below.
Let me thank you with all my heart, for the support you provided me. With out you and the support of my two boys, whose to say I would be here today writing this message.
I am unsure what stage I am according to your program, but if seeing for myself my ex’s with another guy and seems happy enough too, I’d say I am my own man again. It didn’t hurt me as I thought it would, though I was sad of course, but not unexpected as that’s how she was / is. And I am the one who chose to leave for this very reason. Which felt like I’d had ripped out my own heart and then shoved it down my own throat. ( Sorry for the graphic detail) I blamed myself of course for my own choices, but also knew deep down I was choiceless by her actions towards me.
I Loved her like I haven’t loved before or after. Even though I can see the rights and wrongs of the Relationship. Something not to be repeated and certainly deemed as red flags for the future, for both parties.
But I am happier, secure, confident, and I know who I am without her. And this brings me to this email to you. You said to me you’d be looking to start in the Dating Game / Scene.
If you answer is Yes, then of course I’d be ready for a new adventure in the Game Of Love.
I look forward to hearing from you.
How does it work. I’m not getting over an ex…I’ve been over it…just want to know how to open my heart to others.
Hi Ingrid, thank you for your comment. I will send out an email tomorrow explaining the next steps.
I would love to be part of this! I have been struggling for years to get over my ex and need some coaching.
Thank you for your reply, Ellen, I’ll be posting the details about coaching tomorrow :).
Hopping for the best all all through
Thx for this opportunity my dear I personally are at the shock phase I highly believe you’ll help me through this trying time
Thank you! I’ll have more details about this tomorrow… and a proper registration page.
You are amazing at helping us through the most difficult journeys of our lives! I am definitely interested in your help!
Thank you so much for your encouragement, Corey. I’ll have more information about coaching tomorrow!
Thank you for your interest, please contact me by email.
I’ve written to you before but having received this email I thought I’d send my thoughts again…
I think what you do is amazing. Your daily emails have helped me through two terrible breakups & for that I’m truly grateful.
(1) The science & research is clear: a relationship breakup stimulates that same areas of the brain as physical pain. But as you’ve said, in certain situations heartbreak is worse. Your detox programme is analogous to an analgesic given for a broken bone or torn ligament. I’ve personally benefited from your course so I can confirm how soothing the material you provide can be.
(2) a relationship breakup can be as painful as the death of a ‘first level’ relative. Of course, if a person was to lose a close relative – their friends & family tend to be very understanding & provide a seemingly endless supply of care, sympathy & support. However, people tend to exhibit compassion fatigue towards those of us who get heartbroken because heartbreak is not universally seen for what it is: an all encompassing, soul destroying pain. Thus, your support is very much appreciated when the brokenhearted need care & support, especially when the people around them start making comments about how they should have “moved-on” already or other (well-meaning) comments about “plenty more fish in the sea” etc, etc.
You ‘being there’ is much more than an emotional crutch: you really are like a candle in the dark. I know – I’ve been there.
Unfortunately, pain in life is somewhat inevitable but suffering is often prolonged because when we experience heartbreak our brains fool us & trick us into doing things that only make matters worse: texting the ex, stalking them on social media or constantly over thinking our relationship with them & obsessing over our ex. Indeed, it’s been suggested that because we can’t have the real thing (our ex heroin) we get our ‘methadone’ fix of them by constantly over thinking about them. This can lead to real problems, preventing our recovery.
This is why you are so, so important & valuable: you help us by stepping-in & pointing-out these dangerous mind tricks & with this insight comes the easing of our suffering.
Thus, for what it is worth – my humble opinion of you is that you guide us through our recovery, you offer us unconditional support & you never seem to tire of doing so. What you do is truly appreciated & the assistance you provide is so beneficial.
Some people on the Internet provide ‘methods’ to try & win back the ex…you show us that this is NOT what we should do: a relationship once broken is rarely (if ever) the same after a split & moving on & recovery are our only real options. But this takes courage – and YOU help us find this courage!
Your suggested course outline is obviously based on years of your experience & I for one can attest to its usefulness.
I try not to engage in hyperbole, Eddie, but I can honestly say that over the past 5 years (and through 2 horrendous breakups) you have helped me enormously. What you do for the broken-hearted is immeasurable & I thank you from the bottom of my (twice broken) heart.
People who care are worth their weight in gold and you are worth more than that.
I’ll leave you with this dear Eddie, & I mean every word of what I say: I couldn’t have made it without you. I mean that. NEVER doubt, not for one minute, just how important your coaching work is. After my recent breakup there were times when even getting out of bed required a herculean effort. Without you there to help me up – I wouldn’t want to think where I’d now be.
Ray – UK
Dear Ray, thank you so much for this inspiring and encouraging comment. It really made my day.
I appreciate you, and I’m honored that I could make a positive difference in your life.