Are you thinking about your Ex all the time? Are you having a hard time moving on?
Are you self-sabotaging your efforts to get over them? Maybe even unconsciously waiting for them to come back?
If that's the case, then you are not alone. Most people get caught up in the same traps.
But it's not even your fault.
You've been conditioned to do this ONE thing, hoping it will help … when in reality, it only makes matters worse.
I've been fighting this misconception as a relationship coach since 2005, and I want to show you what is really behind “over-thinking.”
On the following pages, you will learn about the four forces that are working against you from your subconscious.
But most importantly, I will show you a way out.
I will show you what you need to do today to stop thinking about them, and move on. It's a new, better way to deal with your breakup and this obsessiveness.
It's a way that might seem counter-intuitive to you, as it goes against everything you've been taught to think after a breakup.
So, please read this article very carefully.
WARNING: This might be the most important page you’ll read, but it’s NOT for everyone.
Please STOP reading if you are:
1. convinced that getting your Ex back ASAP is the ultimate solution.
2. younger than 25 — believe me, this is NOT for you.
3. not interested in lasting change but looking for a “quick fix.”
If you fall into one of these categories, please stop reading now and come back when you are ready! I'll be here for you!
Still here? Great, let's get to work!
What Is Really Behind This Obsessiveness?
Please ask yourself, “What do I fear most after my breakup?”
No, really, think about it:
What do you fear most after your breakup?
- Is it that your Ex will never come back?
- Is it that things would be awkward if they actually did?
- Or do you fear that eventually, you'll end up being alone forever?
I'll take a wild guess and say that it's at least one of these three.
Why do you think that is? What is really behind this?
You might say that the circumstances of your breakup play a role in this.
I say that they don’t matter at all.
Maybe you’ve made all the classic mistakes before and after the relationship.
Maybe you did everything right — getting out of an abusive relationship, for example.
Or maybe your relationship was happy and fulfilled, and they just fell out of love?
It really doesn’t matter, because that is not the reason. The real reasons go deeper.
Ex-Obsessing Reason #1: The “Unknown”
“The greatest fear in life is not of death, but unsolicited change.” ― Raheel Farooq
The fears and apprehensions I’ve listed above are grounded in two things:
- The paralyzing fear of the unknown.
- The (false) conviction that you can’t handle the “unknown.”
(I’ll tell you what you can do about it in a minute.)
As if this wasn’t enough, on top of that, one terrifying truth starts to take shape … a reality that you've been fighting so hard to even consider:
It’s over for good. The “unknown” is here.
Your efforts to prevent that is part of why you can't overcome these fears and stop thinking and obsessing about them.
But unfortunately, that’s not all of it. There’s more going on in your subconscious that is working against you 24/7.
To explain this in detail and the hard-to-accept facts around this, let’s take a step back.
(By the way, I know that this is painful to read, let alone accept, but please stay with me for another minute, okay? It’s important.)
Your friend and coach,