Eddie, what would you do if you got divorced today?
That‘s a real question from a subscriber.
The answer is that, without any hesitation, I would do three things immediately.
Three important things that 99 percent of people going through breakups tragically fail to do.
These aren’t easy and they’re somewhat counter-intuitive.
But doing them is a prerequisite for fast recovery IF you have chosen to take this path (don’t be shocked — some people just don’t want to heal).
It Didn’t Come Naturally to Me Either
Sixteen years ago, I was paralyzed and clueless about how to get over my then-Ex.
I made all the mistakes you can make.
The worst one was that I was so completely unmotivated to engage in my recovery for such a long time.
I allowed myself to aimlessly float down the proverbial river …
… allowing things to happen.
I had no control over anything, anyway.
My second worst mistake.
Then, of course, it went all to sh%$, and I lost a precious year of my life.
Think about that.
A YEAR of my life, spending it by hoping, crying myself to sleep, walking through the streets like a zombie, almost losing my job …
And worst of all:
Blocking myself from finding real love (I could have been with my today wife much earlier).
What I didn’t know back then is that recovery from a breakup progresses in stages.
AND it’s a battle of mindsets and beliefs.
3 Things You Should Do Right After Your Breakup
So, why should you care? How can YOU actually use this information?
My hope is that this will pull you out of that mental state of inaction (if you are not seriously committed to your recovery yet).
Maybe you are still clinging to hope or refusing to heal, fearing to lose them for good?
Either way, here are three things Eddie Corbano (yours truly) would do IF he were to sign his divorce papers today — and what you should do as well:
1. I Would Inform My Ex Immediately That I Need Time and Space to Heal
I would NOT want to be contacted in any way.
I would inform her face-to-face about that, to send a signal of confidence and strength to myself. I would NOT allow myself to be pulled into drama.
(But there are many cases where it makes much more sense to send a No-Contact Letter instead. You can use a proven template, like the one we have in our course.)
I would also inform my children that I would see them a little less frequently for a short period of time. I’d go above and beyond to protect their emotional well-being.
2. I Would Spend 80 Percent of My Efforts on Convincing Myself of Two Things:
- It’s over between us.
- This isn’t my end, but my new beginning.
As I’ve said before, wrong mindsets and beliefs are your enemies.
I would fight this hard with everything I’ve got. Everything I’ve learned since my own breakup back then, and all the things that effectively worked on the hundreds of people I’ve coached since 2005.
3. I Would Find Someone to Help Me Stay on Track With No-Contact
A NC-Buddy or NC-Group would take care of relapses and weak moments.
Because the no-contact rule, in theory, is a great concept … but so hard to follow without help.
It’s really all about motivation and perseverance, giving you time for a change in perspective.
You need this so you can re-discover the person you really are, without all the disturbing Ex interference.
That’s what creates epiphanies and makes your recovery sustainable.
The three steps I’ve outlined are the things you should do the minute you decide that you want to get over your Ex. I recommend anyone to follow this, as it will prevent you from sabotaging your own recovery.
This is basically a rough blueprint of getting over anyone fast.
Yes, I know, it’s all easier said than done — believe me, nobody knows that better than I do.
But here’s the deal.
You only have two options:
Allow this devastating experience to consume you and block yourself off from life.
OR use it to have better relationships in the future.
Thus, breaking bad relationship patterns you’ve maybe had your whole life.
Or finding emotional independence and inner peace. That’s also a goal worth reaching, for sure.
I, for one, am very confident that I will never divorce. Because I laid the groundwork AND attracted the right person: my wife.
You can do that too.
Take the steps I’ve outlined above (or consider taking my help by joining our daily newsletter over here).
Whatever you do, have the courage to take the first step toward your recovery today.
As I would … being in your shoes.