10 Big Red Flags Your Relationship Is Going Downhill

Pages: 1 2 3November 10th, 2007 | Relationship Advice

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10 Big Red Flags

When she dumped Kevin, it was like a kick in the head for him. He needed days to come around and realize what happened. Even then it was an absolute mystery to him what caused the break up. It will take months for him to finally get a clue to the reasons.

Had he seen it coming? Well, he said no. But when I dug a little deeper, it became apparent that he actually had noticed unusual things in his relationship. He just dismissed them as meaningless. He never would have guessed that they could lead to a break up.

Apparently they were anything but meaningless.

If he would have given them some attention, he may have been able to do something to prevent the forthcoming events. He could have talked to his girlfriend, uncovered the problem and tried to do something to fix it before it was too late. If there is no communication, nothing will ever change.

The reasons why two people in a relationship drift apart are numerous. But I believe that if you spot the early signs, there is a very good possibility to get back on track again.

Why didn’t Kevin see it coming? Why didn’t he react upon the “unusual” things he noticed?

I believe that he knew what was about to happen, but it is very typical in such situations to simply refuse to believe that something is wrong. We would never believe that our partner, who was on our side for so long, would actually leave us. This appears so unreal.

Denial seems to be a good way of handling the problem. Of course, this is only self-deception.

Unfortunately, many simply do not know the early signs, the red flags, that something is going very wrong in their relationship.

Why should you pay attention to the red flags?


After a break up, all we think about is “if I’d only knew earlier, I could have done something”. But what would you have done?

When recovering from a break up or divorce you have to go through the four phases. What we often do not realize, is that the one who actually breaks up has to go through these phases as well, only they are doing it while you are still together. S/He has to do so, otherwise leaving would not be possible.

So, if you spot the signs in the early phases, you might still be able to prevent the fatal outcome.

How can you avert a potential break up or divorce?

Certainly by talking to the partner, uncovering the origin of the discontent and trying to eliminate the problems. Reminding your partner of the love you had for each other by revitalizing special moments you had together is also very important.

If everything fails, you have at least had the opportunity then to prepare yourself, and you are not being hit out of the blue.

Let’s take a look at the signs.

Here they are, the 10 big red flags that your relationship is going downhill:

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!!! Break-Up Victims! Please Help Me Out! !!!

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5 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Other Infidelity related blogs · Survive Your Partner’s Affair // Nov 11, 2007 at 6:43 pm

    […] Lovesagame carried a post by Eddie Corbano, a relationship coach on the red flags that indicate a relationship is going downhill. […]

  • 2 Khalil // Dec 4, 2007 at 11:44 pm

    Another home run, Eddie! I love it! For me I got the basic bottom line is something we should be doing no matter what stage our relationship is in…Be Aware! As long as we are always paying attention to our significant other, we will always be in a situation where we can either keep injury from happening, stop the bleeding, or, pardon the analogy, cut and run. Great work again, Eddie!

    Khalil
    He Said She Said…A Love & Relationships Blog
    http://www.khalilanddiday.com

  • 3 Toneah // Dec 8, 2007 at 12:21 pm

    I wish I had read this 10 years ago. I’m still recovering from that breakup.

  • 4 Jaime // Feb 25, 2008 at 12:16 am

    The 10 steps really helped me out on what my man is doing. Now I see that he might be trying to end it with me. And here I feel it is all my fault but, it is not. He is just wishy washy and needs to grow up a lot more before he really decides what he wants in a relationship and I really guess it is not me.

  • 5 bella // Apr 27, 2008 at 10:08 pm

    If someone can please give me some advice on how to break up with my boyfriend. We have only been together for 4 months but it feels like forever… hes a really nice guy and he gets me whatever I want but im starting to feel he is just buying my affection. I dont find myself attracted to him at all and since we got together he doesnt have a life of his own. Im a 20 year old female with a two year old daughter, I told him when we got together I wanted to take it slow because I had been going through alot of stress and pain from my last boyfriend. Everything was good for the first week, now it just feels like he never wants to go home and he calls every hour when hes not at my house. I know it sounds pretty simple and i should just leave him, but its difficult for me to tell him this. How can I put it in a nicer way?

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