6. Give an opportunity for closure
When you break up with someone, that person often remains in a state of shock for several days. Often he/she cannot remember what was said during the break up, let alone understand the causes or your reasons that led to it. In this case he/she will seek closure.
Here is a definition of the term “closure”:
In psychology, closure may refer to the state of experiencing an emotional conclusion to a difficult life event, such as the breakdown of a close interpersonal relationship or the death of a loved one.
By closure I mean a resolving conversation about the reasons for the relationship break up and an opportunity to say goodbye.
After a few days, (not longer), offer a dialog, a conversation where you can discuss your reasons for the break up and why you think that your relationship has been going nowhere. Often they will ask for it themselves.
You will encounter a lot of resistance and arguments here, but that is why I asked you to make that list in step two.
Remember, the goal is not to make the other person understand, he/she will not, no matter what you say.
Understanding will not come before a period of time. Your goal is to give the feeling of an ending and a goodbye.
Try to emphasize the feeling of goodbye by wishing all your best for his/her life and deliberately leading to a parting.
This will not be easy for you, because the person is still close to your heart.
Remember: stay strong. This is important.
7. Help them with no contact
The “no contact rule” is one of the most important premises for healing from a break up.
But sometimes the urge to call or meet is so strong that many can’t resist.
Help them with this.
Do not go to places where you might meet. If they call or email you, keep the response short and non-personal. Never call, email or text message first, not even to ask how they’re feeling.
Most of the time, the one who breaks up has to learn as well that it is definitely over. By following the no contact rule, you help yourself and your ex-partner.
Now you have a list with 7 steps showing how to break up with someone. They will make the difficult task easier for both parties.
I know that the whole process is very difficult, but please keep in mind that a broken relationship is a deadlock. Not only is it stopping you from living a fulfilling love life, but it can also harm your self-esteem and confidence. Not to mention your happiness.
Once you have made the decision, act upon it.
After you have accomplished this arduous task, you are one step closer to happiness.
All the best,
(Graphic made be Eddie Corbano, © all rights reserved)