I receive e-mails every day where people ask me about tips for long distance relationships – how to make the distance a little more bearable, how to maintain the closeness you have established during the time you have been together.
Usually I refer them to my groundbreaking article, which has been translated to 30 languages, printed and sold over 30 million copies 😉 , on how to make a long distance relationship work, along with a little tip.
Now I am about to reveal this very special tip I used myself and which helped me a great deal when I was in that situation myself. I haven't found this on other sites, so I think I am sort of the inventor of this “technique”.
Lean back and read on, the following tip will help you tighten your relationship bond from a distance.
The Main Problem In A Long Distance Love
“Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”
The most important premise is trust.
If there is no trust, then sooner or later there will be plenty of problems. Jealousy will occur, there will be efforts to control your partner, which often leads to mutual distrust. The road the relationship will then take is not pleasant. Trust me on this one.
A lack of trust can have different reasons: low self-esteem, bad experiences in your past (experiences in the relationship as well as early childhood experiences), insecurities, a deep belief that you don't deserve love, etc.
I will cover how you can specifically fight upcoming jealousy another time. For now I want to give a tip how you can minimize the opportunities for jealousy and at the same time keep your connection alive.
The Daily Reports Technique
Use this additionally to your usual communication:
I recommend that you send each other something I call “daily-reports”.
These are emails with photographs enclosed which you have made during the day. Include a short report what you have done this today and the most remarkable experience of the day.
This does not need to be very long, just a small roundup of your day. This should not take you longer than 15 minutes.
If you want to do this more professionally, you could set up a blog (this is done in minutes), password protect it and write these “daily-reports” into that blog. You could even include some videos.
A blog has the advantage that you can see all entries at once and they are easier to manage than e-mails.
As I have said, I used this technique myself with great success. You will notice that these “daily-reports” are much more intense and have a greater impact on you than phone-calls or chatting.
There are two very important requirements for this technique:
Now, this is great and can only help you maintaining your relationship over distance, but be aware that there are two hidden dangers.
1. Both parties have to agree to do this.
There is no point in this, if one of you doesn't really fancy doing that. This is supposed to be fun.
Imagine the joy you would feel when you sum up your day for your love. Imagine the great feeling when you'd get the text-massage: “new report online”.
2. No distrust and fighting if someone missed a day.
This is dangerous. All advantages would be for nothing at all if this happens.
Talk about it in advance. Agree that it's no big deal, if someone hasn't had the time and missed a day. The “daily-reports” should not be a pain in your lower back, but something you're looking forward to.
Try it for a week and see how it works.
If done correctly this will reestablish trust and bring you closer together. You will play a more active part in your partners life despite the fact that there are miles and miles between you.
Maintaining the love over distance is hard enough, try to make it more bearable.
For that I wish you all the best,
Hi there, so me and my boy have been together for almost a year now, we aren’t officially together but then he didn’t ask me out cause of distance, You see initially I was meant to leave for America for Uni while he was supposed to stay back in my home country cause he already started uni and was going to his third year, problems started coming up with my uni preperation for fall so my next option was spring, the only reason I was happy about this was cause it meant I would get to spend more time with him and all so I was a lot happier to an extent, summer began, we saw ourselves a few times thanks to me cause he lives kind of far away from where I do, had to pay a lot of money for my transportation to go & see him but it was worth every penny spent, only for him one day to tell me that he is transferring uni to one in Canada, I didn’t know if I should be heart broken or sad then cause Canada is closer to America than my home country is but I cried everyday just thinking about it and then one day he hit me up saying (Mark this day was on a friday) that his dad already paid for his ticket and he was leaving on the upcoming monday, when he said this it was like my whole sould shutdown tbh, I didn’t even know what to say or do, I just replied wih aww I am happy for you and stopped replying for a while to get myself, I felt so depressed, lonely and unhappy already and he hadn’t even left yet, I downloaded all the moist and sad songs I knew and listened to them everyday, I would think about him, about us and weep, I have cried for him more than I have cried for anyone in my whole life including my mum that has passed away cause I love this boy so much, no one gets it, I began to treasure every single minute and second we shared being in the same country, in the same state cause I mean it feels a lot better when you know it is still possible for the both of you to see and not when you are far apart, I tried to seek comfort by talking to my close friends and my best friend but still that wasn’t enough, I cried and cried and I am still crying as I am typing this cause today is the day he leaves, woke up this morning remembering that he leaves today and my soul feels empty, the other day he brought up the us topic and I had been avoiding this topic since cause thinking about it makes me sad, he asked me if when we are a far apart there could still be an ‘Us’ I wept terribly as I tried to reply, I told him that I was not ready to lose him cause I love him so so so much and that I wasn’t ready to lose him yet and it sucks that we won’t be in the same country but I am praying that we can make it work cause honestly I feel like I can’t live without him, I am 18 and I have never felt this way for anyone else, no one has ever made me cry the way I have cried for him, I’ve been trying to control my feelings for him but I honestly can’t and it sucks, this is the first time I am falling in love with anyone and I know it is love because I see all his flaws as perfection, he makes me happy all the time, I can’t go a day without talking to him, he does everything possible to make me happy, he just gets me and is perfect for me and I can’t bear the pain of losing him to another girl or him cheating on me, it is too much for me to handle but then I’d rather he tells me the truth than lie to me and I find out later on but I am praying none of that happens 🙁 We agreed to try and make us last still which means long distance cause none of us is ready yet to lose the other but I keep feeling insecure, I was already feeling insecure before all this came up but now everything just feels worse, I leave for America in December, I’m going to Texas which is far far away from Toronto where he will be, I am just 18 depending on my parents for money so I don’t even know what to do if I want to see him cause I can’t tell my parents about this cause they are too strict and I don’t want us to end yet 🙁 its too early and I still love him so so much but thinking about all these things is killing me and making me depressed, why are all these things happening ? Why me honestly, why is it when I finally fall in love with someone that all these things start to happen, it sucks big time, I need advice please cause I feel like as he leaves a huge part of me will be taken along too and I’ll never be the same
My relation with my girlfriend get more boring cuz she live far away from me soo how can i make it more creative , we talk about evrything but now we have nothing new to talk. She dosen’t want me to visit her over there she is. What could be the cause and what do I do???
ive been in a ldr relationship for the past 2 yrs now. we met 8 months before he left to college and now were living on different continents.. in the beginning it was hard on both of us cuz we missed each other a lot then the fighting and lying started and we broke up.. it was an ugly break up and i trusted him 0% we got back together after 5 months break but had to regain trust first which wasnt easy. but then everything was going pretty well we visited each other and made sure wed see each other once a month (spend 1500usd) on flights every time..
but now i am at a point where i feel so lonely and i feel like i just cant do it anymore.. we love each other and we have fun when were together but im just so sick of it. i dont want to break up and the relationship is going better than ever.. but i need ur advice.. idont know what to do to make myself feel better and miss him less… its killing me 🙁
my relation with my gf get more boring cuz she live far away from me soo how i make it more creative , we talk about evry thing but now we have nothing new to talk ??
what to do ???
It’s been only a week old and my gf just got her letter to study overseas. And she’ll be leaving tmrw night. Everything happened so fast and I ain’t got a clue on what to do.
Me and my boyfriend Jacob are in a longdistance relationship I love him so much but it been really hared lately and Ive been really hurt I feel like I have no heart because he keeps breaking it and most of it is becuase we can’t see each other and I feel like I’m dieing inside today becuase he wouldn’t even tell me he broke up with me all he would do Is explain I was crying so much all I ever do is try to do anything and everything for him my mom and dad got divorced so I’m in Dallas and he’s in San Antonio I spend 100$ to get down there all the time I spent 800$ on a nice hotel for us to spend the night and be together all I ever do Is try to be perfect for him and we have been doing really good at first no fights and we have never had a fight but I feel like I’m hurting him and I’m going back in summer I’ve even told him that I’m going back but he’s tierd of waiting and what hurt me the most when he said he was going to break up with me (explaing anyway ) he said I wanna be with some one who I can be with all I had to say is sorry he don’t know how much I love him then he called me latter and we got back together but now he just being depressed and sad and it’s killing me becuase I don’t know how to make him happy !!!! <|3 💔💔💔💔💔
hi, ahmmm this is a first time to share my love life for someone,she’s a simple girl,every i looking the pic. the first i look, is the eye, it’s beautifull,she’s i love so much,
My 7 year long distance relationship just ended. He lost my trust during the 3 year of the relationship. He gained my trust 2 years later. two years later after he graduated college, he felt that he wanted to let go of the relationship and find what’s missing in his life. I guess I wasnt the one. weeks later, i found out from his sister in law that he is already with another woman. I felt cheated and betrayed.
Now amonth later, I feel ok. thinking about the past doesnt hurt as much anymore. I’m happy that he brokeup with me now and letted me go. I dont think I can breakup the relationship with him. Relationships are like glasses. Sometimes it’s better to leave them broken than try to hurt yourself fixing and putting it back together. Although some people say that it’s holding on that makes one stronger; sometimes, it’s letting go.
Oh I know EXactly how that goes! Try the U.S. and China. He says he’ll be back next year (the US) but we can’t seem to come up with a date or communicate. Perhaps I’m doing too much leaving him messages on QQ, pictures, and whatnot-I understand that he’s busy but shouldn’t he send me something when he gets the chance? There are days inbetween his comments. How sincere is he about us with all the 我爱你’s but he finds it difficult to talk about anything else….surely I’m just being paranoid…But I find it extremely difficult to not search for some type of reassurance when I’m giving 100% and receiving 25% MAYBE. He’s so different in person, so maybe it’s just equally hard on him as it is for me? We’d met here in the US and been us for several years. IDK what to do anymore besides wait. I trust him. it’s just hard.
Im in malaysia and my man is in saudi arabia…he went there for good pay job…we talk through the skype everyday and make phone calls and we also plan to meet next year march and also june..so long distance relationship needs constant communication and trust.