I receive e-mails every day where people ask me about tips for long distance relationships – how to make the distance a little more bearable, how to maintain the closeness you have established during the time you have been together.
Usually I refer them to my groundbreaking article, which has been translated to 30 languages, printed and sold over 30 million copies 😉 , on how to make a long distance relationship work, along with a little tip.
Now I am about to reveal this very special tip I used myself and which helped me a great deal when I was in that situation myself. I haven't found this on other sites, so I think I am sort of the inventor of this “technique”.
Lean back and read on, the following tip will help you tighten your relationship bond from a distance.
The Main Problem In A Long Distance Love
“Ever has it been that love knows not its own depth until the hour of separation.”
The most important premise is trust.
If there is no trust, then sooner or later there will be plenty of problems. Jealousy will occur, there will be efforts to control your partner, which often leads to mutual distrust. The road the relationship will then take is not pleasant. Trust me on this one.
A lack of trust can have different reasons: low self-esteem, bad experiences in your past (experiences in the relationship as well as early childhood experiences), insecurities, a deep belief that you don't deserve love, etc.
I will cover how you can specifically fight upcoming jealousy another time. For now I want to give a tip how you can minimize the opportunities for jealousy and at the same time keep your connection alive.
The Daily Reports Technique
Use this additionally to your usual communication:
I recommend that you send each other something I call “daily-reports”.
These are emails with photographs enclosed which you have made during the day. Include a short report what you have done this today and the most remarkable experience of the day.
This does not need to be very long, just a small roundup of your day. This should not take you longer than 15 minutes.
If you want to do this more professionally, you could set up a blog (this is done in minutes), password protect it and write these “daily-reports” into that blog. You could even include some videos.
A blog has the advantage that you can see all entries at once and they are easier to manage than e-mails.
As I have said, I used this technique myself with great success. You will notice that these “daily-reports” are much more intense and have a greater impact on you than phone-calls or chatting.
There are two very important requirements for this technique:
Now, this is great and can only help you maintaining your relationship over distance, but be aware that there are two hidden dangers.
1. Both parties have to agree to do this.
There is no point in this, if one of you doesn't really fancy doing that. This is supposed to be fun.
Imagine the joy you would feel when you sum up your day for your love. Imagine the great feeling when you'd get the text-massage: “new report online”.
2. No distrust and fighting if someone missed a day.
This is dangerous. All advantages would be for nothing at all if this happens.
Talk about it in advance. Agree that it's no big deal, if someone hasn't had the time and missed a day. The “daily-reports” should not be a pain in your lower back, but something you're looking forward to.
Try it for a week and see how it works.
If done correctly this will reestablish trust and bring you closer together. You will play a more active part in your partners life despite the fact that there are miles and miles between you.
Maintaining the love over distance is hard enough, try to make it more bearable.
For that I wish you all the best,