Signs That You May Be Addicted To Your Ex

Sometimes when experiencing a breakup, it feels like you were completely and utterly NOT prepared for what hit you.

It might not only be the fact that it may have come out of the blue for you, but also this undeniable truth of LOSS that is so hard to handle with the things you’ve learned so far in life.

Many of you will have experiences already with forms of loss in your lives, but have they prepared you for the one you are suffering from now?

The one thing I’m sure nobody prepared you for is the fact that you may be addicted to your Ex.

What does it really mean to be addicted to your Ex?

Addiction is per definition:

“A persistent compulsive use of a substance known by the user to be harmful, characterized by well-defined physiological, (here psychological), symptoms upon withdrawal.”

In our case – whether we acknowledge that or not – the harmful substance is our Ex.

And there’s precisely the rub.

That we successfully ignore and refuse to believe that our Ex is harmful to us and our healing process.

In your recovery, the problem can never be the solution simultaneously.Click To Tweet

But this is where we lie to ourselves, believing and hoping that our Ex is the way out of our suffering.

Unfortunately, this is so far from the truth.

(MORE: 7 Reasons Why You Should NOT Want Your Ex Back)

So what the hell happened to us?

A study published in the Journal of Neurophysiology reveals that romantic rejection triggers the same areas of the brain as an addiction.

Researchers used modern diagnostic tools to record the brain activity of participants in a study who had gone through a break-up recently. The participants described themselves as “absolutely and very intensely in love.”

The results of the study were clear and somewhat disturbing.

“The evidence is clear that the passion of romantic love is a goal-oriented motivation state, not a specific emotion. There’s a whole pathway that when you are rejected becomes activated just as it does with nicotine cravings or alcohol. These areas are associated with physical pain and decision-making. If you’ve been rejected, you’re in pain, craving this person, trying to figure out what’s going on. You crave the person who dumped you, you go through withdrawal, you can relapse, and cravings can be sparked months after you think you’ve gotten over it.” (Researcher Helen E. Fisher, source).

What this actually means, non-scientifically speaking, is that you’ve associated your Ex’s love with pleasure and happiness. This got wired into your brain, and now you are convinced there is NO happiness without your Ex.

I understand how that happens. I’ve been there.

That is why we stalk, (especially “Facebook-Stalk”), harass and terrorize our Ex. We desperately want the drug, so we can be happy again.

I remember vividly how that felt back then. This gut-wrenching feeling that there is a hole in your soul that cannot be filled … yet you try and try.

How To Break the Ex-Addiction

What you have to do is to rewire your brain.

This means that step-by-step, you have to disassociate your Ex from the notion of security, happiness, and fulfillment.

“Your Ex is NOT responsible for your happiness,” so my distant relative told me many years ago, and my recovery exploded.

Don’t try to ignore or shut off your emotions, because you can’t. Accept them as a part of your Ex-Withdrawal, as part of your recovery.

You MUST go through the pain; it’s one of the most important aspects of your healing.

Of course, to break the Ex-Addiction, you must follow the No-Contact Rule. This is absolutely essential.

You can’t withdraw from a drug by consuming the drug. It’s simply not possible.

With time, dedication and discipline you slowly shift your focus from your Ex to yourself.

Because the biggest benefit of your recovery is the self-knowledge that you gain. Finding out who you really are.

And this knowledge – if done right – will enable you to enter future relationships:

  1. in a more confident and stronger way
  2. making sure your needs are met
  3. eliminating all the partners that are bad for you beforehand
  4. attracting only the ones that are good for you
  5. bullet-proofing your heart from future break-up

This has been my mission to help you with since 2005, (in my coaching and in my home-study version the ExDetoxSystem).

I want you to recognize the opportunity this insanity has. I want you to acknowledge that your Ex isn’t the solution and that getting them back won’t heal you.

I want you to WANT to get better in every possible way.

If you look at me, this break-up was the best thing that happened to me. I excelled in every aspect once I realized the potential that lied in this opportunity.

If you knew me back then, you wouldn’t recognize me now.

I want for you to go through the same process I went through, and come out of it as confident and strong as I did.

Is your Ex-Addiction treatable?

Absolutely.

But you have to WANT it, and you have to TAKE the right steps.

What do YOU think? Are you addicted to your Ex? Please share in the comment section below.

Your friend,
Eddie Corbano

  • Its been 2 years and I’m still madly in love with my ex I need help, I don’t know how to get him outta my head, I feel trapped

  • The best thing I can compare my love situation to is alcoholism.

    I don’t really know what alcoholism is like as I have never been an alcoholic before, but I have heard that it doesn’t always start immediately (neither does love). As you continue to pursue it (the conversation, the relationship) though, there is a chance you might become an alcoholic (You might fall in love as did I). Then you become dependent on it. You need it, and trying to go a single day without it can be SOOO HARD!!! With time not consuming alcohol and possibly getting help, it can get easier (the breakup). Even when it does become easier though, you still think about it and possibly pray about it just about everyday (her and her kids and praying that they are doing well and are happy). Even though up until yesterday when she emailed me out of the blue to see how I was doing after those two years, I did not feel like I was still in love with her, I KNEW I still loved her and her two kids SOOO MUCH!!!!! Just like with alcoholism though how once you get that one drink, it becomes so much harder and you may get all those feelings back again, same exact thing happened with her email. When I saw her unopened email, I was like, “Wait! What? Am I dreaming right now?”, and then a hurricane of emotions and feelings came back and I was back in love again. Very confused, scared, sad, and happy all at the same time. I have been thinking about her and checking my email over and over and over again like every couple minutes just praying that I will have another email back from her. I pretty much poured my heart to her in last night’s email telling her that I don’t blame her at all for her breaking up with me. I just regret not saying all the things that were on my mind while we were in our relationship. Not saying enough. If I had, who knows if we would still be going strong like we were and if we would still be together. Right now, I am SOOO SCARED that I may have said too much, too quickly. That I may have said the wrong stuff. These past two years though, everyday I wished she had known, and it basically tore me up inside those 9 months following our breakup that it took me to recover. Ever since getting that email yesterday, I have been crying like crazy which is so unlike me. I didn’t even cry when my dad passed away years ago. Was I sad? Yes, but I don’t think I cried. Past 28 hours though, about her, yeah… And I am so scared about how long this will last. 9 months again? I don’t know. All I know is that the dating sites that I was interested in once again before that email, I don’t even care about at all now. I see numerous emails flowing in from other women who might be interested in me, but my heart is not there. Neither is my mind. My ex has got them. The song that I can best compare how I am feeling right now to is Addicted by Kelly Clarkson. I don’t know what to do. I am still in love with my ex… This was a long distance relationship over the computer which lasted three to four months (started RIGHT before Christmas. What a coincidence. Thought it was a gift from God, seriously!). We never met though. I don’t think I was catfished, but honestly, who knows? I seriously need help right now though. She is the only person I have ever actually been in love with.

  • I’m addicted to my ex husband. we have been divorced 2 1/2 years and he has been moved out almost 4. He was very emotionally abusive and that’s why the marriage ended. As any other abusive relationship, it started out perfect, then went down hill. After our divorce I kept no contact for 8 months and looked him up on facebook and he was in a relationship 8 days after our divorce so I know for a fact he met her while we were still together ( I should mention we were still trying to work out our marriage up to 3 weeks before the divorce and I called him the night before and morning of not to go to court, but he did anyway) So after seeing the picture I contacted him, we met out that night and ended up sleeping together. This now has been going on for 2 years, many times he told me he was leaving her and then a few days later tells me he can’t be with me right now. I’m so messed up and I try to stay away but when he texts I melt. I try to stay strong and I can’t I end up texting him constantly and it’s almost always rejection. Well, during this whole 2 years he got engaged to her but still wants to sleep with me. It’s so hard to say no, he plays games saying he doesn’t know if he will marry her, so I hold on. I just want peace in my life and not to hurt anymore. No contact is so hard for me, I don’t know if I will ever get over him or all this. Being addicted to him is a horrible place to be and I tell him how much this all hurts me and he really doesn’t care, he only cares about himself. Need advice

  • Eddie

    Thank you. I am the latest victim of that addiction. Guess what. It came back after 27 years !! yes 27. She reached out to me on Facebook, I just wanted to see how she was doing and couple of days in texts and calls I was immediately hooked. I told my wife about this who clearly wasn’t happy. In few weeks she thought I was in love again with her, an emotional attachment and wanted to help me overcome this by keeping patience. She was even willing to let me talk to her on weekends and to the extent remove the restrictions entirely. I wasn’t having an affair, something told me this wasn’t love (because I love my wife), physical or sexual attraction . BTW she is on the other side of the world and have not seen her or had any desire to see or even meet her. Very strange situation indeed. Scoured the net for answers for weeks to resolve this UNTIL I googled “addicted to ex”. I found this site. As I smoke so I know what a craving is. I got irritated at home if I did not get my fix (ie talk to her). Since my wife has no addictions she had no clue what a craving is. So I read the page above and was shocked I was a text book case here Every line made sense and was accurate as I could relate to that. I immediately let my wife know about this. She agreed with my symptoms. It was like I needed both (wife and ex). Anyway I plan to get my detox started ASAP. Still baffled ” after 27 years….”

    • You are not alone … this happens more often than you would think.

      Hang in there!

      • johnathan says:

        Yep, same here. After 20 years I still love my ex. First love never dies i guess.

  • Mine is worst, I am married but still sexually addicted to my Ex boyfriend and i don’t think I will ever stop loving him.I feel so empty without him ,like I’m gonna die without him . He’s my first love and he’s like drug to my soul

    • Lovestolove says:

      It passes and gets better, slowly. My ex was my first true and recently we tried having sex again and both found it very awkward but still went on to do it. We’ve been broken up 3 times in a course of 10 years. And our recent brake up has been since Oct 2015.
      It’s been two weeks since that awkward moment and I don’t feel the urge to do it again, which makes me feel sad in a way bcos he and I must be slowly moving on. I still love him very much, I still wonder if he thinks of me and still loves me the same. EVERY DAY I still think of him and wishes he would message. We usually do message each other everyday but the last two days he has been distant. So i just wanted to say, you this will pass.. Unfortunately time is our healer. All the best <3

    • Lovestolove says:

      Sorry Laura. I read your message wrong lol. Sorry I don’t mean to laugh I’m laughing at myself.
      That must be difficult situation. All I can say is be true to your husband, you obviously married him for good reasons. Try appreciate him and the love making you get from him and decide to move on from your ex, making a conscious decision can be the first step. Xx

  • My (long distance) boyfriend broke up with me a week and two days ago, one week short of a having been together for a year. He told me that he still loves me, but that the relationship isn’t sustainable for either of us. After breaking up with me (in person), his personality went immediate cold. He wanted me gone, right away, and would not (and still will not) discuss it. He was literally yelling at me to leave…it was horrible.

    The relationship had always been long distance…we had known each other from middle school, and reconnected in our 40’s after finding ourselves in a similar situation (both divorced with one daughter.) Our relationship had a lot of challenges beyond just distance…his ex-wife has borderline personality disorder, and her behavior upon finding out he was in a serious relationship was reflective of her condition.

    Lots more to this, and too much to type here, but lots and lots of issues that would have made it ridiculously hard for us to be together without both of us needing to make a ton of compromises that might or might not have killed things anyway,

    All that said, this is my reason for posting here: Though we obviously didn’t see each other on a daily basis, the talking, FaceTiming, and texting was constant. Between Sept 2014 and last week, there were only 5 days that we did not talk at all. I find that I am suffering from withdrawal. I know his entire schedule as well as my own, and sitting in silence each morning at the time he would normally call makes me feel as if I’m literally suffocating. In order to get my “fix,” I’ve done something in the past week that I’m not proud of. I’ve continued to text him almost as if nothing has changed. He’s responded a lot of the time, but in short, non-committal answers. And when I wasn’t getting a response, I fabricated a story that I knew would get a response (and in fact, also yielded a phone call and a FaceTime call.) I managed to stretch that out over 3 days, but it has now run it’s course. Today, I’ve forced myself not to text him…but feeling exhausted and horrible as a result.

  • I was a girl who never believed in relationship. But just 3.5 months ago I went in a relationship with a guy whom I knew from last 2 years. He was sort of my best friend. We used to chat for hours. When he asked me out, I simply couldn’t reject.
    Relationship went well for 3.5 months… though it was a long distance relationship.
    And suddenly one day his ex met an accident and after seeing her he asked me to breakup.
    He said- he still feels for his ex gf and he can’t hurt me, so the right thing for us is to breakup.
    His ex is also dating someone else, and she was the one who had dumped him earlier.

    Now I’m not getting over him & moreover I want to help him too.
    I am not in contact with him from last 4 days and now I have a very strong urge to contact him. I have no friends with whom i can share what I’m going through.

  • I know that i am addicted to my ex. We were in a four year relationship and during the last year I learned to depend too much on him and that is probably what made me unattractive and the reason for our break up. Now a month and a week into the break up and I still cannot seem to be even moving forward. I creep on his social media at least once a day and I have tried everything. I tried giving all my passwords to a trusted friend so that I could no access my twitter but still i found a way to see what he is posting. He is currently posting about another girl, and he seems to be really falling for her and I think that is what is killing me. We were so in love and now a month later he has these feelings for someone else. The news of him having someone new have set me back so far and I feel like it is the first week of the break up again and I cannot stop myself form thinking about him every second of every day. I want him back i really do but who would want to be with someone like me who does not even have enough self love to let someone go. I dont know what to do to focus on myself and better myself.

  • So glad I am not alone in this world. Seperated from wife 6 weeks ago, just filed for divorce.
    I met my wife when I was 18, and a loner, dying for a girlfriend. She was older, 25, latina, and actually was interested in me, so I latched on uncontrollably. She had a baby from a previous marriage. Wasn’t even divorced yet, left ex 3 months earlier. By third date it was physical. After a few months, i moved in her place. A year later got a bigger place, had my son when I was 20 and got married. I am 32 now, married 12 years. I am finally realizing that our whole marriage was me in a love obsession. I was obsessed with her, she was more in control, decisions required her approval, i was like a puppy. She had some traits of a ‘professional victim’. The first 5 years, she was very insecure, jelouse, and bossy. The last few years were bad. I knew I wasn’t completely happy, but just comfortable with my ‘safe zone’. We seperated 2 years ago while I still stayed in the house. i flipped out 4 days into it. Went nuts, and after a month of hell, and me being manipulative at times, she took me back, stating that it was only for the kids. I would let her walk in me, I didn’t care. I needed my ‘mommy’. Didn’t realize it at the time. The last 2 years were stressful. I worked alot, and she was hard to please. She was stressed with alot as well and when I got home from work, feeling alittle depressed, it was a stressful environment. My step son is 15, and autistic. Her fights with the school districs had her stressed and depressed. 2 months ago, i was convinced that her idea (again) of a seperation was a good one, i was so fed up with her. 6 weeks ago, I left, and again, I went crazy again. She alienated me this time, blocked me out, and i was devistated mentally. Took valium then was prescribed celexa, and go to therapy. 2 weeks into the seperation, i am finding out about a ‘friend’ who is hanging out alot. That made it 10x worse. He is helping finish the basement, which i started before i left. Now he is around all the time, goes places with her and the kids. When I have both kids in weekend, he is either there very late or sleeps there. Kids say he sleeps in basement after working there late during the week, who knows. I may just be parinoid. Now I feel like a child, crashing at my mothers, Find it hard to function as an adult, especially with the kids. If i am not out with them spending money, going to cool places, i feel like a bad father. Like I need her to do things. I am obsessed and feel i will never be whole, self sufficient, and will be broken for a long time. If it really wasn’t love, just obsession, will I get over it quick if I find someone else who treates me better? I have a hard time meeting people.

  • After being no contact with my ex for at least 6 months now, I can only confirm it does get easier. I will no longer chase or contact someone who doesn’t reciprocate my feelings or treat me well. This time alone has made me grow dramatically as an individual. I am now much happier and content in my own company and I have with a full life with or without a man. This time alone has been wonderful for my personal growth and rebuilding my self esteem. I have made myself get out and experience things as a single woman and also spent more time with my family and friends. I will no doubt have another relationship in the future but though I have been on the occasional date I find myself more selective than in the past, and this is a reflection of my improved self esteem and self worth. Believe me time does heal, trust that you will get over this person. Its a big world out there with so many wonderful new opportunities and memories to create once you start letting go of your obsession with your ex. Stay strong, try to resist impulsive behavior, and yes I still think of him on occasion, but it is over and I now live my life with that reality. Nicole sharing a child with an ex is difficult and hopefully the forum will provide you with advice on this. My only comment is that with a child you still need to get out and create a life, there are many community opportunities to meet new people and people like you in a supportive and friendly environment. I joined meetup (in most countries I believe) some time ago, many free activities and groups to suit everyones needs including single parents. Getting through our obsession requires a great deal of work from ourselves… but it is made so much easier by having people around us either to talk to or just to laugh and go on adventures with.
    Stay strong Nicole….you can do it. Stephan, you sound like you are on the right track too…..yes this website is awesome….we are not alone 🙂

  • I’m addicted to my ex. We have a 3 yrold and I need some advice regarding the no contact rule. We’ve been broken up and got back together over 10 times. I know he is no right for me and he made me very unhappy. How do I break the cycle. It’s been 4 wks since the break up and I’ve been good until now…I’m feeling the withdrawals.

    Please help.

  • I am on day 6 NC. just came out of 2 1/2 year relationship. I gave to much of myself so im working to become me again and build on that. Sometimes I feel really down but it has become sooo much better comperd to a week ago. No Contact will probably be the thing that gets most of us through these confusing times. You have to deal with your own thoughts and grow on your own. The Ex disrupts all the progress. This website is awesome!!!

  • Hi Cynthia, I hope this past month has given you more strength and you have stayed with the no contact! If there is one thing I’ve learned in my 39 years is that if it is meant to be it will come around again. Time not only heals all wounds but it also erases any memory of contacts gone wrong! It just takes a little longer to clear it up. I am going through it myself again. I have had five major, heart wrenching break ups in my life, and all the relationships were over two years long. I wish i could say it gets easier but the fact is it doesn’t. It’s almost like concussions, they get worse with each one. That being said, eight years after my fiancé got cold feet and took off, she is ringing my phone off the hook! It helps a little as I am going through a tough circumstantial break up, but my feeling for her is muted after so long. I broke up with a girl two months ago and it is still killing me! I’ve been no contact for three weeks now and it is very tough! Know it for that and accept that reality. You will get through this! You have to hang in there and stay busy!

  • I stumbled on this site and I must say it has really opened my eyes and I’m clearly seeing what I shouldn’t be doing and what I should be doing. My ex broke up with me five months ago after almost two years of dating.. And not because of cheating or anything like that. It absolutely broke me because I was not expecting it, then to make it worse he started seeing someone else. We fought a lot because on my end I felt our relationship was worth saving but it only made him more distant. So I moved out in a bid to start afresh.. But I am honestly addicted to him. Always wanting to know what he’s up to, how his love life is, facebook stalking.. I am not over him, and I had one of those days where I was hurting so much and I was missing him.. So I made the biggest mistake and called him and told him all that.. How seeing him move on hurts me, and whether he still cares etc. The minute I was done I felt so stupid for doing that.. Because it was like confirming to him he made he right choice to break up with me, and I felt like he saw me as pretty dumb and clingy for doing that. Any advice from anyone on how I should handle that. I am establishing the no contact rule again, and no stalking, as hard as it may be not to do it. I feel so bad for calling him and telling him all those things and how I still feel about him. I appreciate any advice. Thank you in advance.

  • Hi,
    I need your advice desperately. I broke up with the guy I had been dating for over 4 months. He seemed he was very serious about me. He texted me day and night, said Good morning , Good night and asked my day. He initiated to make plans. I had never had a boyfriend before and he asked me why .Then I told him i didnt want to be attached. Honestly I regretted that later. He asked me to be his girlfriend after one month dating by saying that he wanted to get married soon. He asked me to think it over about it. He was my first man whom I was very close and attached. We hung out, made fun, tried new things but no sex and passionate kisses apart from peek kisses on lips from him cos he knew I am a virgin and I even have not kissed anyone passionately. I am an Asian in early 30s and He is a Caucasian ,35 year old. We seemed very into each other. We tried to meet twice or three times a week. he was really nice to me . Everybody said we seem like a couple (hugs, cuddles and sweet things…) even in public.
    He talked about having kids and asked me about it. I said I dont want kid now unless I was with the man I love most. sometimes he asked me about marriage and I said I prefer being stay single until i find my right man regardless of my age cos he said I am old enough to get married. that time I just focus on happiness, not want to go for relationship or marriage so soon. He visited my country with his friends and he texted me day and night and sent some pics. I was really happy that time. but he never said he missed me. After his trip, we met for dinner and I said him first I missed him while he hugged me so tight and long and said he missed me everyday. After that time, he just texted me, did not ask me out for almost 10 days .but sitll texting and i just mirror him and take it easy. One saturday , he said he wanted to see me tomr. I had a class and asked him to pick me up there . He agreed and I remembered it was our 100th day dating. He took me to restaurant and we made dinner and i let him know it was 100th we had been seeing. And he looked like he did not want to lose me and hugged me so tight the whole time. He talked a lot about having kid after marriage that time .I was about to go back my country after exam to see my parents that time. When he said he is going back to his country for x’mas and My face was like so small and he said öh no, come with me to his country.”I just smiled and felt so happy. After that, we still met during weekend and he helped me to study for exam in cafe shop. He was very caring and kind man though. we went for a movie and made dinner and he told me that he liked me so much. we had not had any title until that time. Two days later on my birthday, he made me surprised by taking to the concert i want to see deadly and said Happy birthday in my language. I made him surprised by writing down on the card that i want to be his girlfriend what he asked me to think over. He did not seem too happy. just normal and he hugged me and said good to hear that I was not taking too long to think it over. I kissed him on that day and he said just thank you. After we did not see for one week and we met at coffee shop again. he looked unhappy and i asked him why. He said very tired. he did not treat me like his girlfriend and when i asked to go for shopping to buy things before going back to my country. he said guys are not good at shopping. he was not like that before. he used to go with me for shopping almost the whole day.He really let me down and i asked him whether he would send me to airport or not. he just asked the time of the flight. After that We did not see and i just gave him space and never nag or text him a lot , just mirror him. But no more flirt texts from him later. just causal texts. on the day i left for my country, he texted me good morning and asked what i was doing. It really made me get angry and i ironically responded and he replied like a jerk that i am in city area , if you were there we can meet. then we can do when you get back here. He did not ask me about my trip, and I really got angry and replied him “ÿou are so sweet. I wanna see you too. where i gonna come to meet you for a coffee”. Then he replied he was going home ( he stays near by my place) and we could do around there. i didnt respond him and expected him to call me but no calls instead , he texted he was going home, though I were having a nap ,he would do the same. going to a barbecue party later.” My angry was on the top and cried so loud. and i did not respond him. he could see i had seen his texts cos it is whatapps. i didnot use my mobile during my stay with parents and when i was back , i was really sad he texted me just two : one was have a good flight and the other was “Hello?”. It really made me sick. i did not respond his texts for two days and i missed him so much. then I initiated text him that have you missed me ? i miss you. He replied “Hey, “welcome back how was your trip? i just replied ok. so sad. 🙁 he did not say he missed me. i got a hint. but he still texting me gmoring, gnight, sometimes off to dinner with colleagues.., I responded sometimes. I could not stand anymore. when he was still texting but never asked me out to meet after we did not see for 3 weeks. then one saturday night, i initiated him to go out for dinner before he flew back to hi country. he replied my text at late night. and said “Maybe we can do a lunch or coffee instead , gnight for now” morning i replied him Ök, 4.30 pm for coffee”. Then he replied me “That is good for me and i have to tell you something”. Honestly i feel panic because i got a sense that he has been seeing and living together with the other woman. Then i insisted him to tell me that sth by text or call. and said if it is going to be a bad news, we better dont meet. then he replied long text and said ‘” you are a nice….lady and a good person…I have been recently talking with my ex and she was my real first love and we want to give another shoot and I want to try with her again. I did enjoy spending time with you…… “ it made me really pain but I replied him “thanks for telling me honestly and wish all the best”. he replied me “thanks all the best to you too”. we ended up. i blocked his number first and now i unblock it. i don’t text him. But it makes me really hurt. It was my first time. I dont want to get hurt anymore. I can’t believe that he changed suddenly. He never talked about his ex during those 4 months dating. I got hear broken. Sometimes I am hoping that he would come back to me. i know that is crazy. 🙁 I didnot try to contact him. he even did not say “Happy new year”or “X ‘mas ” wishes. I did go for over 1 months No contact with him until i saw him accidentally (He did not see me) . I missed him deadly .(P.S we met from online dating site) and i checked that dating site again where i hided my profile after i decided to be his gf. but i still could check he is online or not without knowing him.Sadly he is active online almost everyday. then last week, i initiated texting him and kept conversation simple like telling him i am excited about my coming exam result out. he took a few hrs to rely my texts and after a few topics we stopped conversation again and no text from him at all.Last sunday i bumped into him on the train and i said hello to him. we talked about our jobs. and sometimes he was making jokes. And he sounded like still caring me. i told him after gym, i m gonna watch movie …. it is a thriller movie like the movie last time we watched together.asked him he remembered the movie name or not. he straightly said the movie name correctly.And late he asked me about my exam result and then i said next sunday it is coming out and if the result is what we expected , then we should celebrate .he said “OK”. He alighted the one station before me and he said “dont work out so hard” coz i was on the way to the gym .and he used to tell that when we were together becoz he knew my knee got hurt long ago and cant work out v hard. He did not text me at all after accidentally bumped into each other . then next day (Yesterday) , i initiated texting him again and saying “Hey, the movie “the boy next day is really good like Gone Girl , I bet you would like it too. should go and watch it. ;)” Then he read my msg in whatasspp and took long hours to reply me just saying ” I liked that movie. thanks for the tip 🙂 ” and I replied later “that is my pleasure 🙂 ”
    And he never texts me anymore. Know i realized that i should not hold on it. I must move on. i removed him from my contact list and Dose he lose interested in me at all, right? I do not have any hope he is coming back to me? Sorry for long story. Did I do anything wrong? Did I get used when he was lonely? I liked him a lot. I really appreciate for your advice in advance .

  • This site is so inspirational! It’s only been three days since he’s left and I’m struggling with the Acceptance stage of the break up process. I am utilizing the 1 week to do what I feel I have to do approach. After six years, it’s now obvious that we shouldn’t be together. We’ve already split up and got back together twice before. Both times we fell back into the same old routine. It’s hard because he still has most of his stuff here. I’m trying to move it all down to a spare room that I rarely use and go into. He’s moving 1200 miles away in April and he really has no place to keep his stuff until he leaves. He’s staying on a friends sofa for the time being and Money is tight for him trying to save up for the move, that he can’t afford storage. I personally think once he moves it will be easier, but right now I’m miserable. How the check can I start the no contact rule if at some point he’ll be back to get his stuff. I wish an anger stage would start, so I would have the heart to tell him I don’t care where he puts it, but it can’t stay here. Wish me luck as this is definitely going to be a bumpy ride.

  • I absolutely believe I am addicted to my ex. Conscioulsy I know that she is no good for me. I know that our lifestules are incompatible and I know that I don’t really want to be with her anymore. Her behavior during this break up has left me wondering exactly who this person is. In 6 weeks I don’t recognize her in the least. She is not the woman I came to love 7 years ago and continued to love right up to her sudden split with me. Regardless of me not wanting her back, I can’t help but feel that I want her to want to come back. If that makes sense. If I could just get her to say she wants to work things out, I think I would feel better. I’m not sure that I actually would. And there lies the problem. In my head I want the relationship to end. I know it’s run its course. In my heart I am longing for her to fight for our relationship like I believed she would have in the past. I have the heightened Cortisol and Adrenelin surging through my body all day and it usually subsides in the late afternoon. I usually go to the gym after work and run on the treadmill for 1/2 an hour. I have no problems falling asleep but find myself waking 4 hours after with heightened anxiety. If Im lucky I can fall back asleep within an hour but I usually spend that time awake thinking of the good times. Seeing her smiling face or hearing her tell me in her voice, “I love you Baby Bear”. I’m left wondering how long this pain will last. I have unfriended her on Facebook. I deleted her number from my phone. I wiped all text convos and deleted every sweet voicemail message. I saved all photos to an external hard drive and deleted them from my computer and I have vowed not to speak to her again. I am just now starting day 2 of No Contact. It’s going to be a long path to recovery.

  • What a great site. Hearing stories with a common thread and mine is just the same, no need to repeat it now. So refreshing, enlightening and empowering to gain more insight with other peoples stories. Why is it that one love is soooo difficult to let go of? I have been on a rollercoaster ride and with it lost common sense…. pride etc….trying anything to make a relationship work. I am so grateful this page offers no marketing on “How to get your ex back” which I have done and could probably do again tomorrow, but I wouldn’t be being true to myself or even happy if I did get him back. The key is not getting him back. The key is developing me and getting away from this addiction I have to him. I know deep down I truly deserve better and we just weren’t a good fit. In a toxic, unbalanced relationship you bring out the worst in each other and I became a needy person I didnt like or recognize. He wasn’t right for me….. but it never stopped me wanting him! No Contact is the key I think and making OUR lives the best they can be and then allowing someone who deserves to be with US in a balanced, healthy and communicative relationship to come into our lives. Thank you for all your posts, they have given me a sense of strength in this turning point in my life. One day at a time and hopefully we all with learn, heal and grow, into becoming healthy partners in future healthy relationships when the time is right. Remembering that time does heal. NC again Day 3.

  • I think I am addicted to my ex but I am the one who broke it off with him. I had been dating him for about 7 in a half months. We made some bad decisions and I found myself having to lie to my family a lot and sneak around with him. All we ever did when we hung out was physical stuff. After I broken up with him I got rid of all of his stuff and gave him back everything, a week later I was in a another relationship with a different guy that I have now been dating for 9months.. He’s made so happy but recently I think it just hit me that I still love my ex.. I’m afraid.. I feel like I can change him if I talk to him but everyone tells me otherwise. I know going back is bad but I can’t stop thinking about it. I told my boyfriend now about the thoughts and feelings I have and he tells me that he feels like I’m playing mind games with myself. He said he loves me and he feels like I am the one for him but I’m not sure if I feel the same but I don’t want to let him go either.. I have always been in relationships, I hardly ever give myself any time and I think that May be my biggest problem but I’m afraid that I will never get over my ex.. I don’t want to hurt my current boyfriend but I feel like I might have too.. I haven’t been able to eat or sleep… I would really like some advice.. Thank you..

  • Hi everyone,

    I read this page a few times knowing that i’m also in this kind of situation so i decided to write my thoughts here. And yes, i’m seriously addicted to my ex gf and i’m also aware that i have codependency issues. She broke up with me on late mar and we were like talking to each other and hanging out tgt at times for 2 months after the breakup. It was only until june then i started no contact. During this period, the pain is excruciating that i suffered from adjustment disorder and depression, it requires so much discipline and determination not to stalk her social media. However, at times, i really miss her a lot until i stalk her profile even when i’m aware that i shouldn’t do it. It’s so tiring that i want to get out of this fast as it has affected every aspect of my life and the depression/anxiety it causes is unbearable.

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