Break Up and Divorce What To Do When Your Ex Leaves You Twice

What To Do When Your Ex Leaves You Twice

The Ex Walks Away Twice
Photo by bruckerrlb

My girlfriend of 2 years left in early July, saying she wanted to spend time with another guy, but that it was like an experiment, and her feelings for me were unchanged. When the experiment didn't work after two months, she contacted me again, and we started talking.

A month later, we were back together … and it lasted ten days before she said that she needs more time.

That was last night, and she asked for a month with no contact so she can sort out her feelings.

I am embarrassed that I let her back in the door. Even worse, if I had to respond today … I'd let her in again. Pathetic.


Dear Thomas,

I feel your pain… I don't want you to beat yourself up. What you did was not pathetic … it was only human.

Was it a mistake? Yes … but a forgivable one. In a lifetime, all of us make many, many mistakes. What we should do is NOT ever make the same mistake twice.

But I understand why you did it.

When it comes to our Ex, we are completely irrational, and we make stupid mistakes … even multiple times because we desperately want things to be as they were before.

Still thinking about your Ex? Click here to take the test to learn how long it takes to heal... and how you can speed up the process.

We want our Ex to be the same person as they were the day we fell in love with them, and we want this relationship to be what it was when everything was in perfect order.

Unfortunately, this is one of the hardest things to accept – that the relationship has changed.

To regain what we have lost, we are prepared to “bend reality,” to turn a blind eye to things that are red flags and completely unacceptable in a relationship.

Our usually so rational minds malfunction when it comes to losing the one we love.

I call this “Breakup Blindness.”

When your girlfriend tells you she wants to be with another man as part of an experiment, and at the same time she assures you that her feelings for you are unchanged, then there is something terribly wrong with this relationship.

This is something no man can accept.

This is where you have to tell her to choose between you and this experiment or to go to hell.

This is unforgivable, and it's an infallible sign that the relationship may have already come to an end.

The one main characteristic of a long term relationship is that having feelings for your partner excludes having feelings for someone else at the same time.

It's the very definition of being monogamous.

So, going off with another man is THE ultimate red flag.

And going off twice is the mother of all red flags.

I'm not saying this to make you feel guilty – I am on your side.  I'm saying this to make you understand.

But you probably already do … you just feel helpless to do anything about it.

That is why I am a big proponent of the No Contact Rule.

It's the ultimate force field against pain-inflicting, going-wild Exes who just want to “experiment.”

The right move would have been to go No Contact immediately after she went “experimenting” the first time.

That would have spared you the devastating second break-up – instead of going through all of this AGAIN, you could've taken the time to heal.

Now you are back to square one.

Again, I am not saying this to hurt you.  I just want you to understand the situation and know where you stand.

When a girlfriend/boyfriend/wife/husband leaves and they don't give a definitive reason, but instead give contrary excuses, we are very tempted to wait for them … maybe eventually they will come around.

But this is very dangerous thinking because you give up all the power you have, you put everything on hold just for the small chance of reconciliation.

It can tear you up from the inside.

Whereas the Ex holds all the cards, and have a safe place to fall-back in case something goes wrong with their “new” adventures.

They know that the same old you will be waiting for them to come back so they could summon their energy for another strike …

Don't make it so easy for them.

Take your power back and see this situation as it is.

Let me tell you straight Thomas, even if it hurts like hell – when someone leaves you twice like that, you don't ever take them back. Ever.

Because if they've done something like that twice, they will do it again. And why not? It was so easy for her and had no consequences.

Please face reality and tell her to get the hell out of your life forever.

Go on strict no contact, start your recovery and you will start feeling better very soon.

Your friend,
Eddie Corbano

  • I have done the same stupid thing again. I have known her for 30years every time her life took a bad turn she turned to me. then she always leaves. its my own fault time and again I have picked her up dusted her down and hoped for her to care about me like I do about her. I know she wont but it doesn’t stop me wishing. she did it again this year with the excuse she doesn’t want to be in a relationship. yet I hear she already has a new bloke. truth is she doesn’t want a relationship with me, im just a stop gap that builds her confidence to start again. I found the courage today to delete social media accounts, phone numbers throw things away. I hurt like hell, 52 year old man crying his eyes out because he feels not good enough. when the truth is she isn’t good enough. perhaps no one will ever read this but I think it has helped me just to get it out.

    • Hi dear Colin

      First I wanted you to know I just read your story and i think you and I have some similarities because I am going through the same thing now is the second year my ex contracted me after leaving me with no explanation and completely ghosting so what I do instead of ignoring her call I was so happy thinking I might get her back only find out that she was around and wanted to check me out am telling you I have never so disappointed in my life now am trying to forget her just like last time only this time am never gonna let me down insha Allah so stay healthy and live your best life.


  • Hello all,

    I have known my current ex gf since 2004. We dated from 2005-2011 (when she broke up with me) At first, it was probably the hardest thing I have had to do. To go on living life without a person who was a big part of my life during those years. We were broken up for 4 years in which i dated many different women and undoubtedly she dated many different guys. In December of 2015, she professed her feelings towards me and asked me if we “can work things out and try.” At first, i was reluctant, however, I decided to give it a second chance. In the beginning, it was a tad weird because we essentially became friends and having to cross that line back into romantic partners would have taken work. Flash forward till 2017…I start to get the feeling she is withdrawing. My feelings were confirmed when i confronted her about it and she stated that there is “something missing.” I inquired what can possibly be missing and she said theres “no romantic feelings and that she’s right at the edge with me and she’s looking for that push to stay and work things out with me.” That was a few days ago, and i feel like the kiss of death was given to me. But i still want to work it out because she stated what is missing! I feel i am being held hostage because she hasn’t ended it but yet she isn’t speaking to me. I have no clue what to do.

    • GarenLagen says:

      You should let them go, you should listen to your gut instinct which is telling you that they are just using you and are waiting to jump on the next best thing they see. It’ goes both ways, always one partner who feels more than the other. You have to be rough…Much other things in life besides love, you have to lose yourself sometimes in order to find yourself. It’s only when you’ve lost everything that you’re free to do anything 😉 immerse yourself in your interests and do what you want to do for a change. Us humans are so wired for physical contact, it says in every body and you hear it sprayed collectively across all media platforms. The human needs love, yes, of course, interaction is so critical but is ROMANTIC love really all that necessary? I’ve been in and out of it for so long but I’ve started to realize the importance of loving myself first before others. Unsurprisingly…It’s the wrongs that were done to me that made me see this. I hope you all can find peace and tranquility within yourselves 🙂

  • In 2014, my ex-boyfriend and I broke up and he change his number the first time. I contact him on Facebook and ask him ‘why did you change your number without no explanation’. He ignore my messages and act like never read it. When I started to move on with my life, being single and happy. He contact me a year in half later, to apologize what he said to me and I forgive him. We spending time together and have fun. I thought he would be a different person and mature. It turn out, he did it again, change his number again. This time is the second time. He don’t give me a reason and explanation changing his number. When I tried to contact him on Facebook messager, he ignoring me and don’t want talk to me at all. I feel very hurt why would he do that to me again.

    • Men like him just keep playing with hearts because they know emotional women like us will keep letting them again and again in life no matter how they hurt us. If we can’t stand for how we want to be treated then we can’t expect others to respect us.

  • Alexander says:

    my story is about my ex.
    This is about betrayal, lies, manipulation.

    I loved this woman, enough to improve myself’ make big changes and be loyal to her. Shes 22, im 26; shes a paramedic working in her career; im in school finishing my last year of electrical engineering. We hit it off at the start; shes honest, loyal and loving.
    A good woman but a bit rough around the edges; cultural differences in how we were raised and therefore manners.

    However something was always missing between us; she was the boring woman with sex after a few months; one position. It would bore anyone, even though she was always there for me, when i got sick she would take care of me and drive me to the hospital. She did everything for me; she was the most supportive human ive been with. After i destroyed her trust; and she destroyed mine around this same time by talking to ex’s… it was an uphill battle to fix it. She was trying to replace me, I was sexting to get closure.

    I fucked up; i got bored of her and the lack of a proper sex life and talked to other women. I never cheated beyond texts/photos. I broke our trust, i betrayed her. Any chance we had to succeeded was long gone; but we both stayed. Our relationship became full of hate and one sided. She never enjoyed seeing me as much as she use to, it felt like a job. She was never loving the same way again. I was the one to kiss her, it was almost like she was on auto pilot; and hated me deep down.

    I never gave up; I made a mistake, she made a lesser one. But I wanted to repair what we had; our relationship dragged onto our first breakup. I tired to make her happy’ I tried to be as loving as i could. Nothing would stop her mind from pulling away from me.
    Sex became a rarer and rarer event; and when it did happen her facial expression was one of the most painfull things ive felt in my life. A look of pain, displeasure and zero intimacy this continued and continued dragging my love and passion away with hers.

    I’d always ask her, are you happy with the relationship? she would tell me she wouldnt be here if it wasnt for the longhaul. Well she ended up breaking up with me that December, and like the hurt fool I was begged her to work on it and fix it. Im not a quitter and felt we could fix it if we both put in the effort. She had tons of issues with her happiness, insecurities, trust, attitude, stubbornness– im fairly easy to be around but she picked so many fights or pushed the relationship into them. I always loved her and was supportive through all of this. Its a phase i said to myself; nope this woman was looking to replace me and went deeper and deeper down the rabbit hole.

    We got back together with her wanting to see where it goes; we start doing more things, trips, sex is a bit better. She tells me shes here for the long haul, yeah right… She slowly drifts away from my life; sex becomes near zero, shes becomes a worse and worse person that she made it impossible to love her, but i still did; she becomes almost completely non-loving. Where I have to ask her to give me a kiss, sleeping together gave both of us bad sleeps; she didnt enjoy anything about me at this point. Everything i did would upset her similar to our first breakup and the more she drifted the worse it became. Communication was always our issue, i felt like she was never fully there in deep convos; like id hit a wall with her. More so when shed hangout with her friends more and more; shed come back as a rude, mannerless ‘bitch’. It was a horrible thing to see the soft woman you love become changed from friendship influences.

    Id try to gauge where our relationship was going and she constantly communicated that she loved me, was here for the long haul. Well, she had a trip with her friend I never liked; always had a problem with her having an influence on my girlfriend…..ex. She goes to spain with her for two weeks and guess what? Breaks up with me when she came home.

    -She doesnt see a future with me
    -She isnt happy with me
    -She needs time alone

    basically all the typical bullshit lines a woman can give. In the end what this woman told me would change week by week day by day. Her actions said totally the opposite of her words; she was never in it for the long haul. She has a good career where im in school, she wanted to replace me; or live that single life with her friends. She never loved me the way i loved her after it went downhill. It was a single battle with me always trying to fix it and she taking advantage and potentially building other ‘relationships’ to jump into on the side. I’ll never know and she’ll never admit it, but going off her past that she doesnt change… she likely had “male friends” that she’ll use to sleep with.

    Its a sad horrible story to share, that breaking the woman you loves trust will never be able to be fixed. You have one shot with someone in life and when it ends…it ends as hard as you may work on it and as much as it means to you. Women are sensitive, loving and powerful and they need to be respected. But that doesn’t mean what I did made everything she did afterwards right either. I stopped being unfaithful, she was my one and everything after making that mistake. I was constantly put down by her, she never respected me and we fought so much. I didnt stand my ground like i usually do because i loved her and wanted to fix things. She took advantage of her position.

    I know I cant beg another human to stay with me again, that I need to have more self respect to walk away from someone who cant love me; I felt weak, manipulated, betrayed and abused. I felt so angry at her and just exploded things she needed to hear. Needless to say, her “bitchy crude” personality thats been coming up lately ignored me.
    Which is good to allow us to both move onto other relationships. Losing your best friend, seeing her drag things out and lie to my face was a more painful experience then ending it the first time. She may have never seen it as lies but i did. You dont go from loving to hating someone in mood swing like that.

    I lost my best friend, and a wife that would have been the biggest job to deal with but thats what youre willing to do for someone you love; this was my one sided relationship; she did everything at the start, then i did everything at the end. All you can do is let them ignore you, and move forward. What I say means nothing to her anymore; its time to focus on myself and learn from my mistakes. Always trust your gut instinct and never let a woman disrespect you and be indecisive. I lost the biggest pain in my ass, and the love of my life for the last and final time.

    • Hi my name is bob I did it my self. Second chance and she broke up with me again I think she suffers bipolar but she did everything to get me back

  • Shelly Dlc says:

    Thank you for this. I needed to hear this story. I’m in a similar situation and I needed validation for what I already knew deep down.
    I appreciate you sharing your experience with us.

  • About two and half years ago we met chatted so much on fb we both really fell in luv with each other and he asked me out and we started our relationship.
    We had small fights from the beginning but they always ended up each saying sorry and we were great. I could always trust him. He was a very loyal guy and would evn spend a lot of time together. Hey and i are in da same college. We had some professional practice period. We were at two companies nad we had been so busy. Both of us couldn’t really meet more than once a month. Those were da days that we really got far apart. And it was kind of my fault i always argued with him that we need to meet more that i feel like we are slipping away from each other. I actually continued arguing and he got mad saying um not reasonable and he wants an understanding woman. Then i said if he can’t make a commitment we will break up. He said he didn’ t want to but i didn’t text him fr a couple of days but i missed him so much and i gave up saying sry to him.
    Then after a few days i again argued with him that we are not spending time together and dat day he really got pissed and broke up with me. I said okay at first but i really missed him and pleaded not to leave me (i know um pathetic) but he left me anyway saying um annoying and doesn’t want me in his life. Somehow after a few weeks of pain i moved on and once the professional practice period was over we were back in college we could see each other every day. Some times we texted and those times i told i moved on and um okay. After about 3days back at college he texted me he’s falling in luv with me and miss me so much. I said i can’t get back together with you because u broke up with me and i can’t trust u bcz I’m scared dat u will brake my heart again. He said he was sry. He was angry that time and if i wasn’t coming after him that time pleading he wouldn’t have actually left me. He said he was sry and want me so much he can’t even smile when he sees me at college bcz he misses me. After some time he promised me he would be more caring and said he wouldn’t leave me. He luvs me and stuff. My luv fr him was still there too so we got back together.
    Ts just some times when he made small mistakes or took time to reply me oe sent short replys thru text i got annoyed and told him to be better. He said he watched movies play games dat’s y his msgs are short and dat doesn’t mean anything else. But we got into bigger arguments
    Um so stupid 🙁 and two days ago he said he thought da second time would work out but it didn’t, that i get angry all the time and dat he is fed up with me. And he doesn’t want me anymore. I asked him not tp break up and i will correct my mistakes and to give me a chance. But he wouldn’t listen.
    Wat should i do. Ts so painful.
    And i have a feeling dat he will fall in luv with me once more even though he says he doesn’t want me in his life now. We always get attracted to each other. That’s wat happed the last time too. But If he comes back to me like before i shouldn’t get back together right? I can’t do the same mistake twice right? His emotions are so unstable although he luved me. I can’t be the grl who gets back together when he misses and be dumped right? But i want him so much.

    Please um in great pain. I don’t think he has made me like a toy. he really wantd me da second time and he luved me. But should he leave me like that whenever there is a fight.? I mean whn he made mistakes i always accepted his apology.

    It just really hurts i have never been with anyone else. I have never had any other boy friend.
    I really miss him.
    Please tell me wat i should do. Um so pathetic arent i?

  • I live abroad and met my ex on Facebook, we had mutual friends. We went out together for a year and a half seeing each other every 3 months on average. He is difficult and picky in a relationship, and finally he dumped me by text over a minor argument. I was devastated but implemented the no contact rule for two months no cheating. Finally on new years eve I sent him an email saying I wanted to say goodbye to the negative of last year. He immediately emailed back saying how much he had missed me and has been really miserable. Anyway we had some contact then I implemented no contact again. Then two weeks later he started messaging me and we started talking more and more until it became speaking 5 times a day like we had before when we were in a relationship. He couldn’t do enough for me, finding me a car, getting some guys to sort out my roof on my London home, asking for payment as me taking him for dinner, then he sent me a twist on an equation we both love but basically saying that over time he’s realised how much he cares for me and suggesting would I go back to him.

    Then he is fishing for me to tell him my feelings so I do and I told him I thought we were getting back together, he really likes me, I enhance his life but he doesn’t want a boyfriend/girlfriend thing but that he has been on a date with someone last week.

    I am gutted, I truly felt we were getting back together as he was really keen to find out what date I am coming home (for good) next week. We had also planned a trip to France together over Easter. Now its over……………..

    I feel used and that he led me on deliberately and maybe he s panicking now Im coming home as so far we have been long distance. But I can’t go completely no contact as his guys are doing a job on my roof so Im going to have to just keep it to business.

    Totally gutted ……………

  • Well story is just the same as others on here I suppose. dated him two years he was going through a divorce when we first met . I moved in with him part time for 2 months then his house burnt down. Everything changed he had no where to live. His ex wife offered (she has wanted to reconcile their married and kept being a pain all the way through our dating) he could of stayed with me but he told me he wasn’t sure about his feelings were towards me and he needs to chase me…I could not understand that we seemed to be fine before. I got up set and told him we are off…so he moved back to his ex wife……we kept in touch and he was upset with me because I went so cold on him but I told him he dumped he need to have feeling for me and that hurt to hear and I reacted badly. Kept telling him I was sorry.

    Any how we got back together but he was still with ex wife…he just wanted to stay with her until house was rebuilt and he would move back BUT ex wife thinks they are getting back together. His ex is so jealous of me. So he decided he should of moved in with me and moved in..BUT he just packed up and came with out telling her because she would of only carried on begged for him to stay. So he moved in with me.
    He stayed 3 months and suddenly she just packed up and went straight back to his ex…She is happy now because she thinks they will get back together. he tells me he is just using her he just wants a roof over his head. I have no idea why he moved out because he never told me. I think that was terrible doing that. I found out later he was in touch with her all the time..dropping in having coffee with her but she wanted him back.
    Any how he went back. I have been in touch with him a couple of times…he told me it wasn’t me..its him. I was with him yesterday and we had a nice day out and he starts talking about us being together but later on…when his house is built…but in the mean time he is back with his ex wife..he pretending he is staying and her thinking he will.

    I will say it up set me so much as well…when you put all of your self in a relationship and bang…he just walks out and he doesn’t seem affected…he cant understand why I am so upset…he tells me we will be back together when house is built. Thats in 6 months.

  • dogeatdog12 says:

    my ex of 3yrs dumped me out of the blue then told me the usual bs women say, like “i’m confused, i need to find myself, give me some space then maybe when i come back, i can give you 100% of my love, blah blah” she just couldn’t tell me the specific reason why she was breaking up with me. i chased her for a month, i’d text or fb message her a thousand times a day & after a week she’d reply “let me go”. Things were like that for a whole month which seemed like an eternity. Then suddenly she came back to me, & i took her back. She said she’d never ever leave me & she’ll never hurt my feelings again. She even said we could get married next year. But after 10 days, she texted me that she tried loving me again but it just didn’t work out. Holy crap. The second breakup was far far more painful than the first one. I chased her again for a month, but my primary intention was to make her tell me the specific reason why she broke up with me. Got no response from her but “just let me go”. So i did some investigation& found out that she’s back in a relationship with her ex. Who dumped her 3 years ago for another woman. So after knowing the real reason why she kept breaking up with me, i was able to detach myself emotionally. i just suddenly lost my interest in her. For i saw clearly the lies, her disrespect for me, & the betrayal that she did. After 4 days of no contact with her, i started getting texts & calls from her. i didn’t answer her calls. But on the fourth day that she texted me again saying that i shouldn’t change my cp number coz she wanted to check on me from time to time, & that she considered me as a friend, blah blah blah. i simply replied to her “Go to hell” So learn from my mistakes, never ever take your ex back. Learn to live without her, be happy being single, then when you’re ready, find a new girlfriend but don’t place your happiness & self-esteem in her. So if ever you got dumped again, you’ll still have your happiness & self-esteem with you. There will be no need to chase the dumper

  • so basically i dated a girl for 2 years then something silly happened and she gave up on us and broke up with me i tried so hard to get her back but she ended up rejecting me every time i tried so i gave up and stopped talking to her for good. she met a guy and they dated and i heard she lost her virginity to him, after 9 months she came back to me saying she was sorry for everything she had done and she that she can’t date a guy she never loved because it will hurt him and she said she never got over me. so i decided to help her out as she said her feelings were a mess. so i told her to break up with him and she did, so we started off as friends where we knew that we both still loved each other. our bond was so strong and i got so attached to her and i loved her so much since the day i met her. day after day i decided to take it further so i asked her out again and she accepted. our relationship was better than the one before because we knew how to deal with each other also we became more mature. humans aren’t perfect so i made some mistakes where i used to ignore her when i get mad and shouted at her once in front of people which she felt embarrassed and other things but she also made mistakes where she hurt me many times but i never gave up on her. until that day after prom i saw a text from her friend flirting with her so i got mad and ignored her for 5 days (the reason i did that cuz i was hurt and i had already family problems and i was stressed from my final exams) so on the 5th day i missed her and wanted to talk to her so i did. but she argued with me and decided she already wanted to break up. i was hurt i gave her so many chances but she can’t. also i found out that as soon as we broke up she went back to hanging out with her ex (the one she never loved) and i got pissed and i was so hurt and crushed and i don’t know how she feels. i want her back so bad i love her so much that no one could ever describe the bond between us and she loves me too but idont know what happened to her. i want her so bad but people keep telling me not to but its very hard to go the same thing i went through before also i got used to talking to someone for 24/7 and also having someone by my side also having someone to go out with. in general i felt loved and cared of. i tried explaining my situation and reasons but she rejected me and told me that she wants to stay single nd we can be friends. i have a plan in mind to be friends and then try to attract her again. this girl is everything but it crushes me when she suddenly deciders to give up on us. I’m so confused i don’t know what to do. can you please read what i said carefully and hit me up with some advices please because I’m really in need. thank you

  • You know what, you’re totally right about your SO baking again. Mine did. She broke up with me twice and then again a third time when she net someone else.
    I often doubted her love, would ask about it and she would tell me she loved me and to trust her… Yeah right! 10.5 years and two kids and she walked out so easily.
    Great site by the way!!

  • This is going to be a long one, sorry. Okay so I just didn’t give my ex a second chance I gave him a third one and after a year he did it again, I guess I really should’ve learn from all the other times. I’m actually doing better than I did the first two times, I always went with no contact even if it killed me “pride” had a lot to do with it. You see in 2011 i met him on a dating website he approach me,at first i wasn’t very much interested in him, but still gave it a try. How i wish i never did now. We had and 1 1/2 distance and he was at the time going through a divorce big red flag but I still tried. Six months into the relationship I notice he was acting distant, I asked what was going on he said everything was fine. But I knew it wasn’t, women intuition/gut feeling. So the text messages become less and less until he text me one day telling the only girl he needed in his life was his daughter. I was hurt and confused, 3 weeks after no contact he text me telling me he was sorry for what he did but that he was going through some family issues that he didn’t want to involve he processed to tell me his family was involved in some mess but didn’t want to really share with me. I gave him another chance, 3 months after that he went MIA on me. When he finally got in touch with me he told me not to contact him. Boy was i hurt again he did it. I went with no contact for almost 8 months. Finally one day I decided to email him telling him that I had forgiven him and that i hope he and his family were well. He ended up emailing me back a month later telling me his divorce was final and that his daughter was doing well but that unfortunately his family had a davestating news that his mom was practicing black magic voodoo on all her kids which made them all have bad dreams and some other crazy things, basically she had control of them and he didn’t want her hurting me so he pushed me away for this reason. Now you see he comes from Haiti and I was born in the Dominican Republic so stuff like that happens a lot in our country’s. So almost 2 years when by with no contact after that and one day he tried adding me on Facebook. I didn’t accept the request, few months after that he send me a message on Facebook and told me how he was so stupid for letting me go and what and amazing woman I was and he was looking through my pictures and was interested in trying to be with me if i was still available and willing.
    I thought about for a few days and finally I responded. I did say he was out of his mind but that it was nice knowing he still had care, and so we started talking again. I went to visit him and we talked for a while on the things that had happened of course he was trying to avoid the conversation. Anyway we tried and he started coming over my daughters were hesitate about it at first but they went with it. I was having surgery a month after,he was there for me through it all this time he even met my mom. My friend’s allowed him back with open arms. Things were looking good for a while. He was dealing with his demands and bad dreams but I remember praying with him and sending him scriptures. We were good until something happened I notice a change in him again, I brought it to his attention and he said he was fine,I know he wasn’t. Now I’m not doing well because I felt it was coming. He stop texting as much or even calling me. We used to visit every weekend he either came to me or I went to him. He lived with his brother and niece. The daughter will come with him at times. I have a grandson that loved him and he loved him. Anyway I asked him what was his issue now, he told me he was tired of having one way conversation on the phone. And that I knew he hated even talking on the phone. So I respected it and we didn’t talk as much or even text. So one day I freaked out and told him he had no emotions and that he was hurting me with his distance. He told me if i felt this way why be with him i told him because I loved him. His response to me was, your love is more like a chock hold that God forbid if he was doing something he enjoys like watching football or something. He also said he was starting to get tired of my mood swings and he was starting to question us. Wow! I didn’t know where all this anger was coming from but we got through it I thought. Things were pretty much never the same after that. So i will text him a scripture in the morning as we usually did and he would send me one back and that was it no calls. So again I asked him what was up. He told me he was stressed out from a moving that is happening in march, I thought it was a good reason so I told him that i understood. Now it was me sending the text in the morning and him replying many hours later with a very short answer. Finally he told me he was emotionally involved in pending issues that made him isolate himself from everyone else since he had to work a second job to pay first,and last rent plus security deposit. And that the only time he could do this was when his daughter was with her mom so basically the weekend we used to see each other. So he wanted me to be patient and understanding. I agreed to be. In the meantime he wasn’t calling me and I wasn’t calling him either. He came over one last time with his daughter and we didn’t even have sex. I asked why since it was very unusual for that happened. He told me if i wanted to do it i should’ve try to do it that he didn’t have to be the one to always ask. I was left wondering if that would be the last time I would see him. He text me telling thanks for a wonderful weekend like he normally did. I didn’t hear from him all day after that or the next day. Finally I send him a text asking him why i was feeling like i was paying the consequences of a move that i had nothing to do with. I told him i understood him. But why the no communication?. And the text came through and my heart was raining in fear to read it. He told me this. I’m so sorry that i had failed you for the third time again. But i can’t sustain the “love” that i had for you and us, so therefore I am no longer seeking a committed relationship. And that he just wanted me to know that. Is he serious,that is what i told him. I told him how can he not even face me instead he does this over a text message and that he was sick. He told me he didn’t plan on hurting me and that he wasn’t sick that he considered himself someone that gets bored with certain people. I was devestated. He did it again, i told him how much I hated myself for allowing him back into my families life mostly my grandson who constantly ask for him. He told me he was sorry and that he wanted to continue seeing my grandson if we allow him to. I told him he was sick and that he would never see him again. He then proceeded to tell me that they are forces against us that I will never understand and that i deserve a lot better. And to not shed one tear on him. And that was it. I’m dealing with it much better than before. But I am up and down with my feelings.
    Please give me some feed back, I am feeling hopeless again.

  • a guy liked me but he was to shy too say anything.he asked his friend to tellme that he love me. I said yes but that friend of him say something bad from his side that I slapped that guy.then again he offered me we were together for a time then he broke off.then again we got together and now he again broke off? his friend told me that he is in love with someone else but I don’t believe. what should I do?

  • sorry for my grammar* But if anyone can give me a heads up… my girlfriend broke up with me twice the first was through text *we dated for 1yr and half* anyways so I was heart broking I texted her I felt ect ect.. she called me said she missed me and well we met up got back together then she told me that she hanged out with her ex 1 week after our break up, note she said she didn’t do anything with him just hanged out. That hurt idk why but it anyways so 3 months later I felt something odd about her I asked and she said didn’t feel in love with me anymore so I broke it off. 1 month later she called me and we hanged out and now we are a thing we hang out and stuff. Well once again she told me she hanged out with her ex yet again and this time they did some stuff.. so now I’m kinda doubtful about this. I don’t want to get my heart broken again but I do love her what should I do? again sorry for my grammar

  • Hi

    I recently broke up with my partner of 6 years. It has been the second time I have broke up with him. We broke up in 2011 for 6 months then got back together.

    We moved in together in 2013, everything seemed to be on track. We were saving for a house and talking about marriage. I always felt like something was missing. I ignored these feelings and got on with life and our relationship.

    4 months ago the feelings of doubt and being out of love with him became stronger, these feelings often consumed my thoughts and I became very distance. I was tired of organizing him, doing most things for him and being just bored as I am very out going, ambitious, positive and adventurous and he is not.

    He is a kind person who would do anything for me but I wanted someone that would challenge me and keep me on my toes for the rest of my life. Long story short we broke up. It was horrific he was devastated and moving out of our house and splitting our savings was the hardest thing I have had to do.

    We kept in contact, meeting up but I decided this was not helpful so cut all communication. He did not respect this and would message me a lot still saying he loves me, misses me etc. this did not bother me and I started feeling normal even happy again.

    I don’t understand though, now I have gone back to how I first felt miserable, lost and wondering if I have made a mistake… Again!!! I am so angry at myself because this isn’t fair on him and keep going through the what ifs? Have I been stupid? Have I made a mistake? Or is it time to move on for once and for all? I am so depressed and at a lost to what I should do? Please help.

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