This is excellent advice. I wish I had been told this in previous occasions, when I really did think I was going crazy because of the pain. Thank you.

This article somewhat helps me to think about the situation I’m facing. Thank you for the advice because I know I’m not thinking straight right now.

I agree with the last two people. This article has really helped me. I now know that I am panicking and not thinking straight. It’s just nice to know that there IS someone out there who understands the pain of a break up and can help our wounds heal. Thank you!!!

thanks a lot mate…..you saved my life

This site has been such a blessing. I’m 2 weeks into a breakup. Some days I think I’m doing so well and then out of the blue I get blind sided by sadness. Still unable to eat and I can’t sleep through the night but I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. Time does heal. Until then, we have to make the best of the situation and take care of ourselves so this does not ruin us. Funny how the heart plays tricks on you. You know in your mind that you will be okay eventually but your heart makes you feel like you are going to die.

I failed to follow the NO CONTACT rule very well and now I am stuggling all over again. I’m coming out of a 5 year relationship involving my partner cheating…nothing can hurt more. I’m two weeks into it and still feel like I’m going crazy.

I too failed to follow the NO CONTACT rule. I left a comment on this site on the 23rd and was really thinking that I was making progress. I undid all of that by taking a phone call. Why did I answer?! I’m almost back to the very beginning now. I feel like I’m dying. I know it will get better but right now it just hurts so bad…

5 weeks into my break up. I dumped him because I felt like he only told me he loved me, but actually treated me like shit (a piece of good looking meat infront of his friends etc.), yet I made the worst mistake asking him to take me back two weeks later because I felt valueless without him, miserable and hated not having his life in mine anymore, but he said no. Now Ive cut of contact, realizing how the break up was a learning curve for me, that I can survive without him and dont need to be so relyant on him for my happyness.
However the problem is that I seriously can not stop thinking about him!
I want him out of my life, yet everything leads to him, I keep telling myself time will make me forget, but 24/7 he’s on my brain, and I cant stop it!
Any advice?

@Beth – Beth, i have been in very similar position! Y

To get him out of your mind, you need to remove,destroy or store away everything that reminds you of him! If there is a day that you cannot help yourself, take a look at old pics, gifts ect BUT put it away again. DELETE emails/ text messages from him, also delete him from myspace/facebook if you keep checking his profile, it may be hard at first but you will be to see the usefulness of this as time goes by.

Be strong and just do it all in the same day.

Then ,make a list of why the relationship couldnt work and ACTUALLY DIDNT. Clearly there are many. Take a look at it everytime you miss him.

Also make a list of some mistakes you made in the relationship and how you would act differently in the future, for future relationships.

You get what you ask for in life and if you dont acknowledge that you deserve better treatment you will never get it. Thats why its important to analyse the mistakes you made in the relationship, and why you stayed with him despite everything.

Then go out and expand your horizons and find your identity again! Avoid places things you use to do together. What do YOU want to do that he was never interested in? Go to new places and make new friends! Develop different interests and find yourself again. How about salsa dancing, pole dancing classes, taking up a sport, traveling, voluteer work at an animal shelter, or anything else that could be fun and make you feel good about yourself!

Its time to rebuild your confidence.

NOT EVERYTHING LEADS TO HIM, in fact there are so many paths that dont , but you choose to stay on the only one that does….

Good luck, and let me know how it goes….

The key here is to be PROACTIVE. It was not time that helped me forget, but rather sheer effort on my part.

I said something stupid to my girlfriend and I meant nothing by it but I said something like if I were not with here and saw her and her friend on the street I would approach her friend first instead of her and now that after apologizing profusely she still has insecurities regarding this matter. I do not know how to make amends and are relationship is on the brink of a break up. I love her very much and I happened to make a stupid mistake and cannot get her back to the way we were before.

If she can not forgive a little mistake… Then that should red flag!!!!! and You need to run……
Because she will never forgive nor forget and that is doom in any relationship

When someone dumps you get a distraction, any distraction at all that makes you feel good not bad.
You don’t have to stay with the pain, work through the feelings or follow a grieving process if you don’t want too.
You can switch it off, switch them off and pitch your attention into somethign that really is happening and that positive and is present.
I disagree with everyone who says “never rebound into someone elses arms” Whys the hell not, it feels a lot better than sitting snivelling and feeling unwanted, unworthy, and like a victim of someone else.
So someone doesn’t want to be with you, there will be plenty of others who will, go and find someone to have fun with. Nothing gets a man or woman over being dumped like being found amusing, sexy, attractive and interesting.
There is time to miss the other person, do it in between dates with the new one.

thanks eddie, this is amazing advice, you’ve helped me so much through my breakup…