@ Tany

You will make it – I promise you, If I can so can you. It’s not easy but the biggest and the hardest thing to do is to let go. Once you have done that you are halfway there already. Take one day at a time, you get stronger each day.

I went to a friends kid birthday party on Wednesday and all of my ex’s family was there. They were really nice to me, treated me the same, there was really no tension or awkwardness and despite everything I had a good time. Not forgetting that on xmas they met his new girlfreind. When I got home that night I was really sad. Seeing them all again and spending time with them brought back memories of all the times I spent with them before when he and I were together. The fact that they were so nice tome made it worse in a way. I suppose if they were ugly with me that would make it easier to deal with. But then I realised that I’m an amazing person, I built good realtions with these people. And I walked away from our realtionship with my integrity in hand. I can say I gave my all, 100% and they know that.

Anyway I really wanted to call him when I got home that night (he wasn’t at party, out of town for work). and I had to gather every ounce of enery I had to NOT call him. I just kept telling myself, “YOU ARE STRONGER THAN THE SAD FEELINGS YOU HAVE NOW” and I didn’t call him. I take one day at a time. I still miss him, I still love him, probably will for a long time but I don’t miss or love him enough to want to get back together with him.

Focus all your energy into everything else you can. Keep busy and keep reminding yourself that you are stronger each day, you are Happy, you are Healthy, You are Gorgeous!!!!!!!

Wow, Makkie you are an amazing person. Bravo, you are a shining example of what we should all strive for in this difficult situation. God Bless YOU!

@Lizzie –

Hi Lizzie.

Thank You, you have no idea how much your kind words mean to me. I remember them especially on the “down” days when I need to be strong.

I believe that every situation we are in, is the way it’s supposed to be.

Have a fantastic day!!!!!!

I’ve been slowly deleting any and all forms of my communication with my ex and I’m feeling a bit better. trust me it hurt to delete him as my friend on FB, and his texts, etc. but I’m determined to stick to the no contact rule. its a bit tougher in my situation bc we work together. he emailed me along with another co-worker and i ignored him completely. i know if i can ignore him at work then i can ignore him completely.
what i did wrong in my past relationships is that i still maintained contact and wanted to be “friends” with my ex’s and in actuality that doesn’t make you feel better it makes you feel worse.
i’ve realized I’m no longer sad, but hurt at how he can treat me his supposed friend the way he did and to me he doesn’t deserve to be my friend or bf.
reading everyone’s stories and the different advice eddie gives really is helpful. thank you everyone!

This is very inspirational. The one thing I really got from this is how you made yourself not call him. My down fall has been wanting to text or call him to have the security that he is still there. I am so afraid that I will always love him, and you made me see that I will always probably have feelings for him, but the strong emotional sadness that comes with that love will be uplifted, and I will love him but be happy that I don’t want to be with him anymore.

@staying strong –

what i found that helps in wanting to just let it all out is writing out what you want to say or text to him. you’re letting out your feelings they just wont get to him. sometimes it just needs to get out.

come the weekend, and the intoxicated calls and text come in, that says he misses you and wants you back. How you do know if he wants you back or just saying it? And do you text back to keep things on good terms? And if so what do you say?
In my heart I know he is playing games, I am not sure why but he is.

My ex and I broke up almost two months ago. I always thought I’d never be able to “BE” without him yet each day I get a little more stronger. The last few months that we were together I completely lost it, nothing else mattered in my life besides him and making him happy. I was constantly tired, unhappy, crying, jealous and insecure.

Contact was always minimal between us since we broke up, my decision. He wanted to remain friends and I didn’t. If you read my other posts you will see the previous contact that was made. He always initiated the calls and text messages, even bought me a gift for my birthday.

Sometimes were easier that others and at least 80% of the time I didn’t give in to temptation and reply to him or call him. Sometimes I really want to call him but If I wait a bit the feeling passes.

However this last two weeks we have spoken to each other five times! If we talk and he talks about “us” I don’t reply, usually just change the subject. But it seems with each call we talk more intimate if I can put it like that. The last time we spoke he told me he misses me and he spoke about things he would of rather done when we were going through the last days of the relationship. He told me he thinks about me and how things would of been, if we had babies. He tells me he’s wanted to see me so much. That he doesn’t know how he can be with someone else after been with me. He says he is confused and that he doesn’t know what he’ll do if he see’s with someone else. This after he was seeing another girl a week after we broke up. He seems sincere and I can hear the remorse in his voice. He even wants to go and see a therapist to sort out his issues.

I don’t think he expected me to handle the break-up the way I have. Ir’s brought me closer to my family and trully made me a better person. I make myself Happy now. Sometimes when I talk to him he makes me feel guilty about moving on with my life.

I still love him very much and I miss him alot but I don’t think it’s enough to want to get back with him. I think the hardest thing is the someone to share stupid, silly things with. He was the closest I have ever been to another person. I bared my soul to him, he knew me like no one else and it’s hard letting go of that.

I know that it’s best to completely cut all contact just like Eddie says.On the instances that we have spoken I always have control over the situation. Sometimes I get mad at myself and think that if couldn’t choose me and our love he shouldn’t have the privilidge of talking to me.
Easier said than done though, my head tells me one thing and my heart tells me another.

I know he chose to not be with me and I did all that I could. I know I will get through this and be a stronger person on the other side.

My newest affirmation, “I’M STRONGER THAN THESE FEELINGS, I’M IN CONTROL”.

Have a fabulous weekend.

Hi all,

I’m so glad I found this website.
I split with my now ex 6 months ago. Can you imagine he’e been yo-yo-ing me around, claiming he wanted to be friends, telling me he misses me when he has a new gf and in fact got with her 6 wks after we split. Although apparent she is a rebound, they are still together which is great for them but not for me when he has continued to speak to me on and off every week for 6 months. Whether his gf had any clue is an absolute mystery to me but frankly I don’t care anymore.

I finally had enough and decided that No contact was best.

Its been 15 days and counting and I am waiting for the magical day 60 to arrive because as much as I love him he is no way good enough to be with me. I’ve been blogging and venting and I can feel the old me returning as its been a long time coming!

Slowly I can feel the control coming back to my life and I feel more sorry for her than me.:-)

Hi, it’s been almost ten months since my ex broke up with me. he had a female friend who he was very close to. We didn’t like each other as I had always felt she was very inapropriate around him. She very childishly decided to start taking the mick out of me and him and our relationship and our sex life. I was very upset about this and furious, he did not want to get involved – i wanted him to have a go at her. But he wouldn’t do this as he didn’t want to upset her. He said that if he did she wouldn’t understand and she wouldn’t be his friend anymore. He dumped me cos he said he ‘would never let a girl come between him and his friends’ we had been together nearly four years. I was really hurt and deeply upset by this. I told him I wanted some time to think and after a few days he said I shouldn’t have needed time to think and dumped me. I then found out months later that he had got together with her literally a week afterwards. He said I should have just had a go at her myself and not involved him. Does anyone think I was expecting too much Of him asking him to stand up for me?

Hello, this website has truly been a great help, I wanted to share my story and see what advice anyone could give. My ex gf recently broke up with me after a year and a half. I am close to 30 and she is about to be 24. She has a 3 yr old who I loved and cared for like my own. Everything seemed to be going great with the talk of marrage and our future. She out of the blue decided that she has never been on her own with her daughter and it is something that she has to prove to herself. I did everything for her and may even enabled her a little because of how caring and loving I am. I wear my heart on my sleeve. She has been through a lot in her life and hasn’t had a good upbringing. She moved into her own place and basically told me she cant do this with me in her life. She randomly calls or emails every couple weeks to tell me shes been thinking about me, but as soon as she does that I jump and want to talk about us getting back together. Then she gets mad and says mean things. It has been really hard and im not sure if I should just cut all contact and tell her to let me know if shes ever ready. She says she doesn’t want a relationship right now and shes not happy with herself. I dont know, any advice would help and a even someone who has gone through this or what shes gone through. Thanks, TJ

is very ispiring read all these stories, I just broke up with my boyfriend of 3 years, 6 months ago i had to come back to my country (colombia) to get my papers to become a resident of U.S, wso we were in a long distance relationship…he was in the states, we were the perfect couple…suddenly 2 months ago, he stop calling or answering my text, and when we spoke he was very cold, no the way that he used to…about 4 weeks ago my friend told me that he took a girl to a party were all our mutual friends went, he was kissing her. Then he called me to tell me because my friend told him if he dont call me they will tell me everything, so he did it a propose me to have an open relationship because he feels lonely and he needs to have sex, i was desvastated i didnt see that coming, and he told me that he love me but he just can wait any longer, so i broke up with him, however i called him few days later crying and telling him that i was confussed, he was nice to me, but i found out that the next day he flew to california to see that girl….then he wrote a text telling me that he went to see his family, and i told him that i knew that he went to see that girl…so i just said that he is free now…enjoy…and is over….he try to call me and i didnt answer….im so depress I cant sleep….im sad…is a month already and is so hard…i just pray god that this pain is over….