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Getting Over A Break Up – The Final Chapter

Photo by istockphoto / Imagine Golf

In my work with people who go through a break up or divorce, there is one question which is almost always asked first.

How long will it take to get over it? Or how long will the pain last?

Even I asked this question many years ago. I waited one and a half years for that answer to come. It wasn’t until then that I realized what the final chapter in getting over a break up was.

I know how it feels.

Sometimes it seems so unbearable that you cannot imagine your life to ever be happy again. I will tell you something that you already feel is true inside of you, but your analytic mind doesn’t allow you to acknowledge:

You will be happy again. And if you take this challenge, you will be much stronger than you were before.

I’ve been there.

You must look at this terrible experience as an opportunity, only then will you have the right mindset to grow from it. I know that it is very difficult to get into that state, and it may take you some time. But when you actually understand, the healing will begin.

Unfortunately, many do not look at this the way I do. They try to get their Exes back, or jump into another relationship right away. They would do anything to stop the pain. Isn’t this understandable?

Don’t try to get your Ex back

Sure, this may help for some time, but eventually everything will fall apart again with much harder intensity. Because the problem is buried deep inside, and it will not go away if you mask it or ignore it.

Why do many people betray themselves from the chance to learn and grow from this devastating experience? The answer is, of course, because it costs them too much. It’s too expensive, too damn hard and it is just too alluring to take the easy way.

Whether ’tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The slings and arrows of outrageous fortune,
Or to take arms against a sea of troubles,
And by opposing, end them.
Shakespeare’s Hamlet

So, what is the final chapter of getting over a break up?

When you heal from a relationship break up, you have to go through the following four phases:

  1. Acceptance: Your partner is gone and he/she won’t come back
  2. Depression: You have to face the pain and all the negative emotions
  3. Independence: You have to learn to live alone
  4. Reopening: You have to learn to open up to other people and to a new relationship again

Everyone has to go through these steps. The two secrets on how to get over a break up give only some additional help. There is no healing without going through these steps.

The last chapter of the healing process, therefore, appears to be to prepare and actually step into a new relationship. But if you want to do this the right way, there is yet another step before that.

One of the greatest problems you must deal with before you can really open up to other relationships, is your attitude towards your Ex. It happens very often that you idealize your Ex, remembering only the positive aspects about your former relationship, while completely dismissing the negative ones.

You have put your Ex on a pedestal

This can cause a whole lot of damage in your upcoming new life. What you have to do is to kick your Ex from that pedestal.

In order to do so, you have to face him/her again. I know this is a big one, but it is very necessary. This is the only way to set the image right again, and only when you pass this last test, will you know that you are over him/her.

This is the last chapter in getting over a break up.

MORE: How I Finally Let Go Of My Ex – The Last Step

I am well aware that this is difficult, and to a certain degree, a risk. If you do this too early, for instance in phase 2, this may throw you even deeper into depression.

The final test

Take this as the final test to see if you are ready to move on.

How long will it take for you to reach this level? It really depends on your ability to accept and let go. I’ve seen it happen after 6 months, then again it may take up to 3 years. The deepness of your relationship is also a decisive factor.

But please, don’t look at this in terms of time. It takes as long as it takes for you to heal into a new person. It’s a path you consciously have to choose.

I’m here to help you along this path.

As always, if you have questions, I’m there for you.

All the best,
Eddie Corbano


128 Responses to Getting Over A Break Up – The Final Chapter

  1. Adriana November 5, 2009 at 12:40 am #


    I am so sorry to hear that,I know EXACLTY how you feel dont worry girlie you’re gonna be okay just give it time at night instaed of thinikinngg watch one of your fav moviee till you get exhausted that way you dont end up tjhinking of him. Girl look at hte brightside of it!! if he;’s stupid enough to hurt youu he isnt worth itt you’re so much valuablee than he’ll EVER bee

  2. angelita November 8, 2009 at 12:57 am #

    is been almost 7 months now, after he dumped me and i had broke the non-contact rule almost 10 times and every time i due it’s worst, but i just can’t understand why i still thinking about him and feeling bad and everything, if he is not the kind of guy i want next to me……… i guess everything will make sense later!

    • shikha July 18, 2014 at 11:52 pm #

      In my case we were in an on and off relationship for last two years but we were happy initially in first four years. I broke up wid the guy 6 mnths ago but the worst part is that he got engaged to someone else just after the breakup according to our Indian tradition of arrange marriage. I wasn’t ready for that. It broke my heart when I saw his pictures with is fiance on Facebook and other social sites. I can’t understand he seems perfectly fine and happy. What about me? When will i get over it. I have never tried to contact him since then. I was depressed for about 2 months. I still cry. Still have feelings for him. I miss him. M tired 🙁

  3. Rasvanthi November 23, 2009 at 6:49 am #

    You know what ? You should seriously chuck him. Start the no contact rule. Start ignoring him. Remove him form facebook (if you have afb account) , Delete him from your contact list. Don’t ever call him or text him. Just be like you didnt come across him at all in your life.
    All you have to do is… IGNORE him !
    It really works. Trust me. 🙂
    Take care.
    Here’s my ID if at all you require:

    • Demors November 28, 2013 at 8:07 am #

      A weird thing happened to a friend of mine, met a girl and they were all over each other in love for a few months. They even traveled up to 7 hours in order spend two days with each other. They would tell each other they loved one another, they were the luckiest people in the world..then one day she sends him a message and wants to break up, turns out she hasnt gotten over her ex yet and didnt feel it was fair to him that she couldnt give him 100% of her attention and to “not hate her”. He accepts, understands, and says that he will give her time. He didnt speak to her for a few days and after those few days or up he recieves another message from her saying she doesnt trust him anymore, that the lingering doubt that festered in the days of silence did irrepairable damage…and he called me and goes “seriously, what did i do wrong? how could something so right go so wrong?” He told me that she said there is no chance of getting back together with her. No…chance….after she told him she loved him, and needed him, and wanted to be with him…What the hell did he do wrong to deserve that?

    • Sharon September 11, 2014 at 10:15 pm #

      I feel so sorry for you I’m in the same situation at the moment

  4. kathleen December 7, 2009 at 5:53 pm #

    Please someone help me!!! I feel like I am going to loose my mind… I have tried but I just want to know WHY?? please ??

  5. Sarah January 10, 2010 at 12:55 am #

    Thankyou so much for this article. I just found out a horrible detail about what my ex had been doing behind my back, and was overwhelmed with anger. I had so many questions and “why?” s and “F**K YOU” s.
    I literally felt like that crazy girl who throws plates at her ex’s head. I was ready to drive to his house and beat the shit out of him. Thank god my phone was nowhere in sight or I would have broken the no contact rule (it’s been 10 days) and screamed down the phone and humiliated myself.

    I used the punching bag, then dissolved into tears of sheer relief.
    I’m still angry, but it’s not overwhelming like before and I’m sure a few more punching bag sessions will being me closer to peace.

    • Vinay August 27, 2010 at 4:17 pm #

      ask me Sarah. until a few days back, i was the luckiest guy on earth with a perfect girlfriend cum would-be-wife and an acutely planned future. but this break-up took its toll on me. she, all of a sudden, became a bit too mature. more than what was needed. now she says she doesn't see a future in this relationship. would you beat that… this revelation is coming on her after 3 years of being together. I had planned my entire life according to her wishes and needs. now where should I go? to whom? with what?

  6. Dionee January 30, 2010 at 6:28 pm #

    Well the guy i was dating, started to see another woman while my dad was dying in the hospital. I didnt have enough time to spend with him since I had to look after my dad. He then avoided me at all costs during the time I needed him most.

    He would call occasionally but seldom asked how I was doing or about my dad. Actually one time he said “I don’t care about how you are feeling” and I was like “seriously??”. Now that I look back he was a real jerk and not worthy of my love.

    I tried to get a confrontation out of him just so we could talk out what really happened and for me to tell him He was an ass and to wish him the best…but he wouldn’t commit to doing so . I got the message and made up my mind that, that was it.

    He had photos up with him and this girl I knew on facebook and yet he said she was not his woman etc…damn liar. This guy hurt me deep and at the worst time …during the grieving period for my father…I severed contact with an occasional text or email (nothing personal at all) because I am a christian and i still wanted to show love. However it really did hurt so everything is over now.

    I was way too into him and come to think of it way too good for him too…it was time to break free …there really is better out there. We just need to be patient and wait.

    • Donald P. February 23, 2016 at 6:19 am #

      Yea I was with mine for almost 2 years then out of the blue she got distant and then texted me that she thought we should break up she didn’t see it going any further and had lost interest in being in the the relationship and wanted out of it . We were also talking about our future with kids and getting married.

  7. Brandon March 4, 2010 at 3:14 pm #

    I’ve gone through acceptance & going through derpression.
    Luckily I had the help of a close friend who has gone through this exact thing 8 years ago and has recently married the love of his life for the last 7 years. So I know it’s possible to move on.

    I love the part about kicking your ex from her pedistal.
    I never realized I was putting her up there.
    Once kicked down it doesn’t seem as bad a loss.
    I only focused on the ONE bad thing she did & not her other faults had been accepting (not easily or without problems) over the course of our 9 year marriage.
    I couldn’t imagine my “Angel” doing this to me but now that I think of all the things that take her off her pedistal she doesn’t look so angelic anymore.
    The part about facing them is probably true but I’ve been facing her the whole time since we are being civil in our divorce & not fighting over anything.

    She also has answered just about every question I ever asked her.
    This is good for closure/peace of mind.
    She didn’t understand why I asked what I did but I explained that I was driving myself crazy trying to wonder how & what happened.
    I hate secrets & told her she owed me answeres.
    I do warn anyone thinking about asking for details because you might not be able to handle the answers.

    Friends really help.
    I’m in the process of reaching out myself.

  8. Kevin March 9, 2010 at 4:42 pm #

    @Eddie Corbano – O wow, i know that all to well. I’m 18 and me and my ex dated for 4 years, we moved in together when we were 17( WHAT was i thinking) and i found this site 2 days after we broke up and after a month i felt fantastic, i wasn;t even going up and down, then we met up, talked for like an hour… boom i felt the same way i did when she broke up with me minus the panic. and now i feel im going through the motions again.

  9. Jason March 22, 2010 at 7:14 am #

    I really learned a lot from the article, my wife just left me 3 weeks ago, about one week prior to me having major surgery. The day of my surgery she proceeded to tell me had been with someone else. We have two children together, from 1yrs. Old to 3yrs and with me not working right doing rehab, now I am able to watch the kids while she works. So I guess what I’m asking is how do I start going through the steps when I see her everyday and all I can think about is us and our family and the good times together. Thank you for the good advice.

  10. jessica March 23, 2010 at 7:26 am #

    Hi i havent had the chance to seek help from other people about my break up, but it happened 5 days ago, he broke up with me over facebook!!!!
    He is in another country and its hard enough as it is. I am absolutley devostated and im so lost.
    It feels like mo whole world is going down around me. We were together for nearly 3 years.

    Please help!

    • Jay June 25, 2010 at 12:36 pm #

      Do you feel after 3 months you are over it. I want to know for my situation

    • kitty April 21, 2015 at 6:05 am #

      Hello I have just broken up with my boyfriend today :/ we had being together for 3 years we were in love he was my best friend and I was his also he wad my first love and I was his.. But that all changed in November 2014 my boyfriends parents were to move to Australia that September 2014 and ask us to come over for his 21st for a month we were excited to be going and he seemed so happy have me to go we had to save pretty quick so we lived in parnets place unripe we went. When we got their something was different after the two weeks he seemed dissident and not so loveing he got me to baby alto of time being their and really do anything plus our anverssiry over their but didn’t do anything for it :/ so I didn’t thinkmuch just thought he just want to chill out his parents ask us to come back for the year so when we got back home we were set to do it so tryed and tryed to save while he didn’t really and just hide away in the room and not even approach or to talk to my family he had changed to being someone different. .. Two months later he moved down to his nanns to help her out he told me he still loves and things will work out to keep my chin that were going to be over in aus etc but most of last month it seem like I was putting alto of the effort in to seem him to support him and when would have to go bk home he would miss me that he’ll call me that he would tell him what plan is to getting over but duse to shorting it down something became really weird he couldn’t call me for a few. Because was seeing family and he was happy when was talking to him last but when send a text “so when can we talk again<3" he rang me and sound so angrey annoyed be talking to me I ask if everything was ok he said yeah and said I'll call you tomorrow so I ask him do still want me to come to aus and he said yes so then an hour layer I called just to tell him I love him and he can always talk to me and said ok so I'm going to apply for the visa and wanna when and said what ever you want to do and all of suddenly he was like I don't were right for watch other were always fighting I don't want to put through if we brack up over their now he told me this after four months of leading me on telling not to apply to things or do thongs because Will be going he became really aggressive at me makeing feel so worthless and not marketing anysence saying I do want to be with u bit I told basically want over their :/ so his flying out next month and just left in a mess theirs alto other stuff but just trying to shorten it also we never fought fought we had little disputes the odd time so now I'm left confused and just like what happened?

  11. dumlock5 June 3, 2010 at 8:31 pm #

    I feel my experience is somewhat unique in that I did phase 1 and 2 in the opposite order. Her reason was that she didn't know what she wanted and just didn't feel the strong feelings for me blah blah after 6 years, so I didn't fully accept that I lost her, and instead became depressed before even accepting what had happened. After visiting her at her farm and talking for a week I am now trying to accept that she is actually gone. The hardest part is that in the last weeks I have made every change that she had wanted me to change over the last 6 years ( stop smoking pot, stop biting my nails, excersise more, eat healthier, be happier, be more motivated, be driven and goal orriented) but I obviously made the necessary changes in my life just a bit too late, as I used to have every excuse in the book about why I couldnt change, until that slap in the face came around.

    • sarah October 14, 2010 at 10:41 pm #

      I know what you're going through, I went through phase 2 and I'm currently in phase 3 but I still haven't completely accepted that it's over for some reason.
      I just want to tell you that sometimes it takes such a blow to wake us up and make us better people, and this break up in that way was a good thing for you. So use it as an experience to grow from 🙂

  12. Jay June 25, 2010 at 12:29 pm #

    So this girl was my first everything, my first intense relationship, my first love, my first time, everything. I started to ask her some questions that you shouldn’t ask and I found that she did not love me and was not sure if she ever did; I was naive enough to believe when she told me she will love me no matter what happens between us. She’s moved on to another guy in less than a week and that makes me feel like I was nothing. I told her that having her around wasn't good for me. That we should end all communication, I also told her that I would talk to her on her birthday and if she ever needs me she shouldn’t hesitate to talk to me. I told her I loved her in the end and she didn’t say anything just smiled. She told me all of these sweet things and retracted each one. Saying she moved on and I should too.

  13. Layla June 27, 2010 at 3:38 am #

    Hi Eddie,

    I just want to say how grateful I am for this site and for your advice!! My boyfriend of one year broke up with me two weeks ago, and since then I've been hurting like hell and couldn't understand why. All I was thinking was how I wanted him back, even if I knew perfectly well that I wasn't happy in the relationship and had been considering breaking up myself for a while. Thanks to your advice I am finally beginning to realise that this was panic and fear of being alone, and I can accept that it's over. I also realise why I've constantly been in relationships for the past 8 years, and that I have to take some time to get to know myself again. I know it's going to take a while before I feel completely fine, but your coaching is just great!! Thank you for doing something so important and helping so many people! I wish you all the best.

  14. Princess July 8, 2010 at 6:37 am #

    what if you are past the first 3 stages n yet still think about them alot? what if you cant completely erase them from your life?? how are you suppossed to manage to life your own life n block that person/their negativity away from you? i broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years about 4 months ago and i was pretty strong b/c i had gotten through the depression, anxiety and was loving my independence. but now i find myself thinking about him & all the good memories all over again. this i holding me back from even trying to make new friends. how can i trust people again & get back to jus being meeee in the “independence stage”?? i know these are alot of questions but i just tried to sum up the confusion & frustration im feeling to get some good advice 🙂

  15. Heart Ache September 23, 2010 at 11:52 pm #

    My boyfriend of a year and half broke up yesterday with me because he was moving to another part of England, he calls it his next chapter. We still love each other but he doesnt want a relationship. I am now with my family who have no idea of the pain I am in and I have been so depressed. All my friends have given me advice and tried cheering me up but this just isnt happening. I want this pain to stop………..

  16. No Goodbyes September 29, 2010 at 2:02 am #

    My boyfriend and I made the mutual decsion to break up, a week ago today. This Jan. would have been our 6 year anniversary. I pretty much feel like I might die at any moment. Everyday seems to be getting a little better but it still hurts to much to even try to describe in words. How do you tell someone you love them and then turn and walk away? This is the hardest thing I have ever had to do…..

  17. Alwaysgrowing October 31, 2010 at 3:30 am #

    Wow! I almost didn't read this but I'm glad I did. A month ago I broke up with my boyfriend. I felt there were a couple of crucial problems I couldn't resolve with him, and felt I had no choice. But in the weeks since I can honestly say I've never missed anybody so much. All I could think about was how great he really is. Then I read the part about putting him on a pedestal and realized that's what I have done. So I had an idea. Being a list maker, I decided to make a list of why he's right for me and another of why he is wrong for me. To my surprise, the “wrong” list kept growing and growing, far surpassing the “right” list. What a breakthrough! I finally see in black and white, why I made the right decision, and I feel good about it. Just this morning I was crying over this man, and now tonight, I feel hopeful again. What a relief! I'm genuinely shocked at how that one piece of advice, and my list, has given me insight and peace. I'll sleep easier tonight. Thank you so much!!

    • 93 broker November 25, 2010 at 1:15 am #

      This is hell, It has been a month since my fiancee walked out on me and left me devestated, I have never been through such a close, emotionally charged break up, I have never been so needy nor dependent on someone…ever, I am still going through shock and panic attacks, i deleted her off facebook and all, been doing well with the whole NC rule, only after failing at it 5 times previously, I beged for her to come back, and all, but she wouldn t hear it, her mind is set that we are too differant, I never cheated or did any wrong play and i am only guilty of being too nice…I thought girls liked that, apprently not.I dont know what to do anymore… i ve been really sad and lonely, nothing interrests me as they once did, im not even career motavated… and the worst is i still hold on to hope , wishing she will come back, my pride is what protects me from makeing a fool out of myself again, I see who the other clowns she talks to are and they dont have much on me, but im still mad because i lost my fiancee…. its embaressing when family memebers and friends ask how she is doing all the time, worst of all everything i have reminds me of her… everything… what can i do! help

  18. Blatant_narcissist December 16, 2010 at 12:41 pm #

    ah well, there will always be triggers hon. Its never as simple as 1234, its more like an up and down rollercoaster of emotions. two step forwards, one step back, you’ll get there.

  19. Anon December 27, 2010 at 5:37 pm #

    Does anybody know when the crying actually stops? I haven’t come out of the shock of it after four weeks and can’t get her out of my head, and have no energy to do anything but sit still and gaze into space and cry. I am terrified that there is no end to this awful situation and I feel like I would rather not exist than feel this pain.

    • Bubbies December 28, 2010 at 12:37 am #

      I’m so sorry to hear how hard you are finding it. I know exactly where you’re coming from, I was there 11 weeks ago. You’ve taken the first big step finding this website. The best place to start might be reading all of the articles. The one that really clicked with me is the one about ‘why a break up might be the best thing to ever happen to you’. Basically, it is asking you the question why you think that you need your ex to be happy, and telling you that you don’t, and true happiness lies only within yourself.

      This is a huge, difficult, rocky and sad journey. But you will be ok. You will survive. You’ve got to view it as an opportunity to change your life now for the better. This site is a life saver, read everything, all the comments as well, post regularly, and in real life, use your friends and family if you can.

      Good luck x

      • Anon December 28, 2010 at 3:50 pm #

        Thank you. It is a relief to hear that others have been there and are somehow getting through. I have read practically everything there is to read on this website and practising the no contact rule. Mine was a partnership of 27 years and I never thought for one minute that this would happen. Its just dismal: the crying, the hollowness, the endless thinking of her, the imagining of them together, the inability to function normally, no eating. Can’t even contemplate how my own life might be changed for the better. I guess its true, but impossible to see at this juncture. Thanks so much for the suppor.

    • Poop September 12, 2011 at 5:57 am #

      For me it actually took about a month. First week or two was bad. I almost quit my job and I had been driven out of my apartment close to my family and I was in horrid debt. I lost alot but I gained so much more. Now I know what never to do again. I dated a sociopath or close go it.. It’s been over a year. I’m healed about 95%. you’ll never be 100% but don’t you dare let a negative breakup affect you and change you into a bad person for your next one. Or it’s just a cycle you see

  20. Fred February 12, 2011 at 8:01 pm #

    Hey Ms. Florida- Call a friend or relative. You have a lot on your plate. If your son says you are beautiful you must be! What happened? Tell us your story. It will help.

  21. Eddie Corbano March 6, 2011 at 10:04 am #

    Facing the Ex means seeing them, talking to them.

    But Careful! This is the very last step in breakup recovery, do this when you are essentially over your Ex, but feel incapable of making the very last step because of over-idealizing your Ex.

    This can help you to realize that you are already over them, all that held you back was in your head alone.

    Again careful! Do this too early and you will crush and burn.

  22. Frozen-in-time April 4, 2011 at 1:30 pm #

    I can’t believe I found this site. Sort of an on-line support group! My story is short. My huband died in 1995 at the age of 35 leaving me with a 3 year old and a 16 month old. I didn’t date anyone until 2005, married him in 2006, divorced in 2007. He ruined my life, destroyed me financially. Now I can barely make ends meet as he took me for all my savings and my farm. It was 3 years before I tried going on a date….and he certainly wasn’t the match for me. A year later, was contacted by someone. Started with emails, led to phone conversations, talked twice a day, got along great! And yesterday, he decides we live too far apart to continue the relationship…It’s about an hours drive and yet both of us own our own business and don’t have to worry about kids.

    Quite frankly, I am disillunsioned and tired of rejection. It just doesn’t seem to get any easier. I think it is the “starting over again” that I am tired of. It’s really really hard to see the positives in myself. Or to be confident at all. It’s like someone has knocked the wind out of my sails and I sit in limbo again.

    What I really want to do is just go and talk face to face with this man (we ended it over the phone!) and discuss the “distance” issue. But I know this would be wrong. Why can’t I just accept this and let it go? Why do I keep thinking about this when he has told me how he feels. He says it isn’t about me, it is about the distance. Why do I feel the need to discuss this with him further?? Why can’t I just give it up? How do I just give up this feeling that I need to talk about this still with him?

    Agggghhhhhh!! I feel frozen in time again!

  23. Bla June 18, 2011 at 5:02 pm #

    these articles are amazing and after feeling awful i feel so much better now. thank you.

  24. Eddie Corbano September 16, 2011 at 3:15 pm #

    You’re welcome, glad I could help!

  25. ready2moveon January 12, 2012 at 4:42 am #

    My ex and I have broke up more times than I care to admit, I am the one that usually leaves recently  we decided to move back in together as I packed up my things to move back in she picked a fight with me, and told me to stay in my apartment, I am just wanting to move on with my life because this relationship is an unhappy and unstable one but what happens is I don’t seem to get all the way through the grief process and cave in and go back of which is usually worse, and I am always regretful of going back. I just want to move on with my life but over a period of time it becomes very painful and like I said I cave in and go back.

  26. Tejas Shastha February 8, 2012 at 5:51 pm #

    Do you have any advice for dealing with an ex-girlfriend in the same class who pretends i don`t even exist while i`m drowning in misery every second? I have to see her everyday for the next year before college finally ends and i can get far away from her.

  27. Tejas Shastha February 8, 2012 at 5:59 pm #

    Sophie help me understand this, you chose to leave him because he loved you TOO MUCH?! I ask because i feel i have been the victim of similar circumstances.

  28. fish74 February 13, 2012 at 7:50 pm #


    I feel your pain, I truely do.  I work with my ex and seeing her everyday is SHEER HELL.  She has no problem laughing and carrying on like we didnt even ever happen.  She moved out of my home suddenly, a few days after Thanksgiving and though my birthday was two weeks ago, she didnt say a word.  That is after I went WAY out of my way to make her birthday a special one.  Leave your email if you want/need someone to talk to.  Though I dont have good advice on how to handle it, I find that reading stories here helps.

    • Berny February 14, 2012 at 3:58 am #

      @6739f26b5ba8490a48a6555121ef7a01:disqus : Bro, i can understand what u are feeling. I guess most of the men been through it…thats why i have decided not to date anyone in same class/office… the only thing u can do is be strong and try to be normal. Dont get into depression mode when u see here. Try putting on that fake smile and fake happiness. Dont let her win over u and…Even she thinks u dont exist, she may have eye on you. Best way to fight back is to be happy..i know its hard. But be a man, try having fun and keep saying urself ‘u are fine’..because at sometime ur brain starts accepting it. and u will move on. I know how it feels at this moment. But after few days u will just sit and laugh about it for wasting ur precious student life. I have been through hell of a times dont give much importance to all these me back if u are still wanna talk..we all are here for u..remember  : “cry for cuts and stiches, not for bastards and bitches”



  29. Dave Cardboard January 8, 2013 at 12:07 am #

    I broke up with my ex 9 years ago now as I had undiagnosed Asperger’s and couldn’t understand my relationship problems. I saw my ex four years ago with the hope of ‘moving on’ & I was left utterly devastated & terminally depressed. I’m still not over her now, & I doubt I ever will. She married and moved-on with the next bloke she met as if I never existed. My life is a total failure. I’m in my forties; Unemployed; no friends. I sit alone. I wait for death. If I’d known life would have been this awful…

    • Not-So-Lucky Luke May 20, 2013 at 2:18 am #

      It hurts so much when it feels like they’ve forgotten about you. No one forgets though matey. Even my EX-EX thinks about me sometimes. I know through a mutual friend. She always asks how I’m doing, and we broke up on seriously awful terms. I still think about her too. So don’t ever sell yourself short.

      My recent ex also still thinks about me – her Twitter is a dead giveaway because she mirrors my activity. Whenever I tweet a lot, she all of a sudden becomes interested in tweeting a lot. When I stop, she stops. If I change my picture on Twitter (which I only do very occasionally), all of a sudden she changes it. I don’t know if she’s subconsciously or intentionally trying to get my attention. It doesn’t matter though. I don’t see it as stalkerish behaviour because I also tend to keep an eye on her Twitter more than I should (ARGH, I need to stop that).

      But it made me think, do we ever truly forget about the people we once cared about? We have busy, busy minds and everyone eventually has an old memory of a lost love or a dead relative or times long past. And there is always that pang of nostalgia and maybe a little sadness that goes with it.

      Maybe you really ARE over this woman and just don’t realise it because you’re at home without friends or a job. Go hand some resumés out. I realise this possibly might be harder for you with Aspergers, but I have an acquaintance with Aspergers and he is perfectly capable of work and friendships. He loves his time alone, I’ll admit. But he is a very nice guy, and I’m sure you are too. I know you are different people with probably differing degrees of Aspegers. But think about it, you were in a relationship once! So you must have some likeable traits! Remember that! Go out there and convince the world that you are worth something and that you still believe this! The job will keep you busy and you may even make friends on the job. Build that confidence. You still have time. Lots of it.

  30. Not-So-Lucky Luke May 20, 2013 at 2:08 am #

    Hey Eddie,

    I’m currently a little confused about the state I’m in. I seem to be in all but the last one.

    I accept that she’s gone but deep down a little part of me wants her to come back. She was a wonderful woman and I loved her company. I still think she’s a wonderful person. Of course I’d love her to come back! That doesn’t necessarily mean I think she will though. Because I don’t. She’s been too distant and enjoying single life too much for that to be the case methinks! Such is the nature of youth.

    Secondly, the depression phases has turned into…well, melancholy I guess. I’m not distraught, hating my life or hopeless anymore. With the realisation that she wasn’t coming back, I suddenly became much more in control of my sadness. Having said that, when I think about all the good times we had together and all the things I COULD have done, I do get sad about it. Regretful I suppose. But that makes sense, right? So does this really count as depression? Or is it a normal reaction to remembering a relationship?

    Thirdly, the independence thing is coming, but I still prefer the company and attention of others, especially women. I talk to a lot of women online (women I know in person, not randomers).This isn’t because I want to form any sort of relationship with them or make something of it – so I’m not at Step 4 yet. I just want to talk to women because there’s a little something I miss about being in a female’s “spotlight” (a 10 minute conversation with my best female friend works wonders usually). Being around family and other friends is also extremely helpful. The best medicine.

    So you see, I kind of get the feeling I’m spread across three of the first stages. I also am a bit jealous, which is odd because I wasn’t particularly jealous IN the relationship. But now I don’t have her, the thought of her being with someone else (physically and emotionally) is KILLING me. Is jealousy a sub-component of any of the above stages?

    Sorry it’s such a long comment.

    Best wishes,

    Not-So-Lucky Luke

  31. Vuong May 25, 2013 at 2:47 am #

    Hey guys, I just want to share my success story with this ‘No contact rule”. I was with my girlfriend for 3.5 years and we were almost ready to settle down. Long story short, we broke up and I broke so many rules, trying to desperately get her back, trying to stay as friends and got jealous over everything. I followed this no contact rule for 4 months and I have to say, it is very hard. But, I saw her for the first time today and I had no feelings at all for her. I didn’t view her as a potential girlfriend and seeing her did not remind me of passed memories we had together. It was as if I saw her with a blank slate; she was just another face in the crowd. Guys, this has got to be on the top 10 list of the best feelings in the world. You have to get out there, live your life, help others and make others happy; do not live in the past and move on, become a stronger version of yourself. Once you get over the attachment, you will feel as if you are freed from chains.

    Thanks Eddie.

  32. Amy June 8, 2013 at 4:02 pm #

    It’s been almost 2 months since my fiancé broke up with me and moved out. I have been no contact and really focusing on loving myself but I have yet to reach acceptance. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong?

    • Vuong June 16, 2013 at 7:39 am #


      It will be a long and painful road. For some, it may take a couple months, but for others it make takes years. Depending on how long you’ve been together, it may take longer. Goodluck, after 8 months, I am still going through this. I feel your pain. You will arrive with an answer as I did.

  33. lyno June 11, 2013 at 9:17 am #

    What To Do?

    I recently broke up with my’s been three weeks since I last contacted him…his insecurities lead me to it i believe it’s the best option…Thing is that his mother is not doing well she went from walking to a wheel chair because of a stroke that made her loose sensation…I was there for him for about a month because i now he needed me there & i wanted to be there and things seem great but because of his situation its not helping his insecurities deminish and i decided that i need to jst leave him alone..which its still the hardest thing for me…I Don’t know what to do I want to be there but at the same time he needs to understand that I’m hurt. what can I do?

  34. Pink30 July 12, 2013 at 1:04 am #

    My ex boyfriend dumped me a couple of months ago.. It was completely out of the blue. He got offered a job abroad and asked me to go with him he said he wouldnt take the job without me but I agreed to go with him. I quit my job,apartment everything. Then two days I was due to fly out to be with him he called me and dumped me saying that “he needed to be single and couldn’t commit to a full time relationship” I am completely heartbroken as I thought I’d met the man of my dreams and now it’s like I don’t exist. He refused to face me and he has ignored my messages like he has turned into a different person. Ive stopped contacting him now as feel il never hear from Him again. Everyone is telling me ive had a lucky escape and He has shown his true colours but it doesnt make things easier. I’m finding it unbearable and I don’t know if il ever feel normal again. I feel so lonely and keep blaming myself over this even though everything seemed perfect between us I’m in shock. I keep thinking about good times together, all the promises he made me, how he said he felt about me and I can’t believe someone could do this to someone else. I keep thinking he will realise what he has lost but it doesnt happen. He seems to be having the time of his life without me and all i can do is cry. I just want to get him out my head but I feel like there’s no end to this nightmare. Please someone give me some advice. Thank you xx

  35. allana August 29, 2013 at 3:30 am #

    Hi there! I think I need some objective opinions here.
    First of all, I’m 26. And this may sound stupid, but I was on a LDR for 4 years, he broke with me last year and I still cant get over him. The break up was unexpected. We live very far away from each other, different countries. We met online, at first we were friend, then we grew addictec to each other. we met, love struck, bla bla, coming and going for four years! We would be in touch all day every single day, talking via skype for hours. When we were together, dunno how to explain it, it was perfect: personalities, talks, sex life, the greatest connection i have ever experienced, and he said the same, we fit. I love/d him very much, the first time I was so much in love and I think he loved me too. As any LDR couple we had our complications, family, money, jobs. But last year, althought the issues still existed we seemmed strong. We were planning a trip for me to spend some 3 months with him, giving couple life a shot, while I kept on my studies which would allow me to have a decent job in his country. Later that year we would see each other again and keep on moving forward.everything was great, flower for birthday, I love you bla bla three days later I ask when should I book tickets and boom! He goes “I don’t feel good about this, I see too many problems in the future for us, I love you to pieces, you are the perfect woman for me but I think problems will end up destroying us. I have to let you go. Besides, I don’t want to get married yet, and if you came here you would need an spouse visa and you want a family in a not very distant future and I dunno, i feel i wont be able to support you financially or emotionally. You will leave you family and country and be alone here with only me, and i dont think i will be enough to take care of you, im too much of an idiot and you will be alone here with aging parents far away, with friends far away, how will i be able to support you? I love you with all my heart and you nevee understand what tjis means to me but I think the best is to stop this here and now” and bla bla. What follows is the worst months of my life. Terrible arguments, a broken heart, loads of excuses, because they only sound like that to me. All possible problems, no solution, no willingness to find a way out of problems for the woman he says he has always been looking for. No commiment to try, maybe fail, but try in the name of that great thing we had together.
    We have stopped talking to each other several times over this last year but always one of us starts contact again. Whenever we are in touch it seems like nothing has happened, the connection is always the same, we look at each other and …. I dunno how to explain it, the same love is still there. He broke with me via mail, I have dared him tell me everything face yo face via a skype but he says he cant, because I he loves me too much. He keeps on saying he loves me but he really cant do anything about it. The world is just hard. He says he is not dating cause he cant replace me.
    I know I am too much of an idiot for hanging on to him, a man who is just words,a Long distance boyftiend but I still love him, havent been able to find another. When I am in touch with him the world seems to be alright., when I am not I fall into depression, my life is missing a bit, which I cant compensate with anything.
    A year after the break up he seems to hold to his position, but he wont stop talking to me and I certainly cant stop talking to him. In spite I know that the problems he foreshadowed for our relationship are real, I still don’t want to loose him. Maybe i am a dreamer or a fighter but i know that with commitment and maybe some sacrifices we could achieve great things together. I never asked fora golden castle, just a man that loved me and who wss willing to make a relationship grow, with ups and downs, but always looking forward. but.. now…. is this good for me? Should i keep in tpuch with this man who made me suffer so much but of whom i am still in live?Therapist says no, friends say no, but my heart is….pffff somewhere else! Miles away!
    Hope you can help me. Best. Ally

    • Arient July 3, 2014 at 11:52 am #

      Hi Allana,
      After reading through hundreds of break up cases here, I found myself stunned by the similarity of your case compared to mine. Just wonder how are you doing now? Did you get over the break up? I was also in a LDR with my ex for more than 3 years, and I still think it was an amazing love. Because of that, I think it’s quite hard for me to understand my ex’s decision, even though I myself can see and understand all the logics behind it. We were still so much in love when the break up happened, and I’m still struggling until now in somewhat denial phase (we broke up officially 3 months ago). I can’t bring myself to understand why one would not want to fight and (maybe) fail and just want to give up on a love that he claimed to be the best thing so far in his life. But with myself unable to understand that, I also came to the conclusion that it’s better that the break up happens now rather than drag in the future. It takes 2 to tango, when only 1 wants to make it work, then it’s better to stop. Just thank him for loving you so much, but remember, a man who can only love but can not fight for it is not a healthy option for your love. Let it go. And maybe someday, you can thank him for doing the ugly part in your relationship back then! HUGSSS!!!!!!

  36. ie December 10, 2013 at 9:56 am #

    I was really hoping at 8 months no contact I’d be in a better place however its not the case but I’ve made up my mind that the way I feel must mean something I love him this much for this long for a reason I’m going to get through the holidays some how and then come up with a plan to win him back to me its for my happiness and whatever I have to do will be worth it .

  37. kevin March 18, 2014 at 2:51 am #

    Hi eddy. I’m three months out of a wonderful relationship with the love of my life that lasted 7years. My girl was an absolute sweetheart that I should have married a long time ago. I blame myself for not showing her enough affection which she really needed and I couldn’t provide. Now that I know this, I’ll be an awesome guy for someone else but I really just want her back, to show her how wonderful I can really be. Not sure if I’ll ever be able to replace her. Might have been the biggest mistake of my life. Should I do anything to get her back or just give up??

  38. Catherine April 19, 2014 at 5:09 am #

    I broke up with my Boyfriend 4 nights ago. I have had no contact with him since then. We do work in the same place I have seen him at our grill. Thank goodness he did not see me.
    We have been together for four years and this is not the first time I have broken up with him.
    We have an issue that never got resolved. It never will and it is way too important for me to ignore. This time it came up again and within 5 seconds in my head i said to myself this is so it.
    I told him that’s it, Good luck in your life. He said your crazy just like my Mom and Sister and even made the crazy sign by his head. He said you are throwing away four years and I said YES I am. I am proud of myself I am using two words “Stay Strong”. If for some reason I feel a moment of weakness I repeat to myself “Stay Strong” I have a lot of support from my very close Girlfriends and it makes a difference.

  39. Sean May 9, 2014 at 12:17 am #

    I’ve been through all the ‘phases’ since my last break-up…the pain is gone, but i’m still somewhat frightened to face my ex-girlfriend, i really don’t know what that will do to me. The thing that helped me the most in the last phase of going through these break-up pain is…i suddenly felt en still feel kinda ‘arrogant’, like ‘it’s her loss’…and isn’t that true!? Because i really loved my ex deeply, very very deeply, i wanted to spend my life with her which is something i thought was for ‘whimps’ before i met her, i mean, spending your life with a woman, come on man, i never thought that was something i really wanted, until i met her, but she send me away, despite all the love i gave her…now i feel the pain of the break-up is over and i feel like an arrogant ***-hole towards her, but facing her…oh well, i will look her in the eye and make her take a good look at who she through away out of her life, hargh hargh, obviously there is nothing wrong with the way i see myself, but that took time and a lot of advise from Eddie 🙂 …anyway, hang in there, Eddie is right, it will get better and you will find someone better, someone who deserves you!

    • Eddie Corbano May 10, 2014 at 11:15 am #

      Hi Sean, thank you for sharing.

      Did you read the post where I faced my Ex after all this time? A little arrogance is a good thing, I will get you through this…

  40. Angie May 30, 2014 at 6:09 pm #

    My ex and I were together for almost 8 years and he left me about a year and half ago. I’m still finding it hard to move on. There are a lot of factors at play here and I think they make things a lot harder than they normally would be. I have an 8 year that he helped me raise since she was a month old. I have to constantly put my feelings aside so she can spend time with him and his kids but I feel left out. Lonely. Sad and all of the above. I’m still hurting and still feel a lot of anger towards him but even thru all this, I don’t hate him BUT I’m afraid to forgive him because I thought our relationship was worth fighting for and we always had a good time and loved each other’s company but come to find out, he was unhappy for 9 months before he worked up the courage to tell me that he wanted to leave. I feel so betrayed and used. I don’t even know how to deal with any of these everyday feelings.

  41. natasha June 15, 2014 at 6:40 am #

    We were together for only a year and he left me for his first love. Then we still acted like a couple for another year until he wanted to get back with me. I then found out that he had been sleeping with his ex the whole time we were still seeing each other and I got angry. I didnt talk to him for a day, forgave him but he changed his mind. He didn’t talk to me for a month because of how angry I had been at him. He got a new gf for a week, broke up with her when I told him to leave me alone. I was so depressed and hurt. And then we got close again but I was always paranoid. I ignored him for a month and he said he would fight for me once he got back from a two week vacation. He came back and started ignoring me. Thing is, we work together. Everyday of the week I see him and he is so dry to me. It’s like talking to a wall. I don’t know what to do. I’ve never felt so lost and sad. No one understands what I’m going through and how am I supposed to move on or feel better if I see him every day?

    • Ronald June 30, 2014 at 11:17 am #

      I’m in the same situation Natasha, we both work for the same company. She. Left me last Friday at 5pm, approx 55 hours ago. We were together for almost 12 years. I’m at my sisters house wide awake at 4am, I have already called in sick for tomorrow.

      We never fought, I never yelled at her or ever hurt her. Two years ago she transferred to the detective office. The case load was so great she started to have stomach problems, we believed she was getting ulcers. She could not eat anything without getting pain.
      After almost 2 years of this she was advised by her doctor to get rid of the stress in her life or risk serious health failure.

      We had looked for several years to find a buy a house on a lake. And we did. This was her first house purchase as we had always lived in the house I had bought years ago.

      Well, the new house bills and a mortgage was new to her, and she started to feel like the expenses were at times stressful…… Guess what she decided to get rid of. me and the new house.

      At this point, she said she was going to call me this Tuesday ” Canada Day” to discuss how we are going to deal with the financial issues……. She wants me to stay at the lake house and take over everything, she wants to stay at the old house, which is paid for, and eventually for me to try and sell it. She said she only wants her $30,000. She put into the lake house back. That is all she wants.

      I have not heard from her since, I have not slept and I have forced myself to eat just even a little. I have great friends and family, but I’m hurting real hard and I have to go back on Thursday. Everyone knows us, and I’m really embarrassed.

      I had it all, and now I’m going to have to struggle just to hold on to what I have, and there is so many things to do. This might financially break me. I just turned 45. I’m scarred and this is just the beginning. I need time, I hope she understands that and gives me time to recover and adjust to my new situation.

      It was her new position that caused this, not me or the new house…. But she can’t do anything about the job because that is how she makes her living. Now my life is up side down.

      So, your not alone….. I see that I am not the only one who is hurting this way.
      I was trying to cry myself to sleep when I decided to look up on my iPad what is happening to me. I can’t believe how many people are hurting with us right now.

      I hope you are feeling better now, you have 12+ days on me. But at this point I’m not sure what to do… Take care of yourself Natasha……….

  42. Kayla July 18, 2014 at 6:17 pm #

    My ex fiancé and i broke up about 7 months ago.. we have been in contact on and off.. seeing each other here and there, no intimacy at all though since we’ve been apart. i have put my feelings out there to him letting him know that i would do anything for a second chance with him but he hasn’t come all the way back. he stays in contact with me but never really moves forward in trying to work things out. i expressed to him that it is very painful to stay in contact with him and get over him as well. started to feel like he has just been stringing me along. i know that i hurt him but i can’t continue to live with the guilt. i recently committed to the no contact rule and i am on my 10th day. he has been reaching out to me a lot. i am getting antsy and afraid that if i don’t contact him back, i will lose him. he texted and said that he needed to get something to me because it was very important to him and he didn’t want it to get lost in the mail. i didn’t respond and he said that in all the years he’s known me he never asked me to do something that was important to him and my not responding has him in an angry space.. he ended up telling me it was a long letter that he has written to me. i am very afraid that because i haven’t responded to him about the letter that he will run away and never contact me again. he did say that he would still send it but… someone please help me to stay strong in this 30 day journey of no contact. do you think i should have responded although i am committed to no contact? what do you think will happen?

  43. rads September 20, 2014 at 10:53 pm #

    I had a bf and we wer in a relation fr 6yrs, but he was never so serious about us n now i feel it was only me who was trying so hard. Then i found out he was hitting on my sister. It left me devastated n i left it. I was so ruined and then i met a guy n fell for him. He wasa very good guy.we were so happy and then suddenly my ex came and maligned my reputation in such a way tjat d other guy was socially forcrd to leave me.i still see that the guy loves me but he is helpless.. I cant even blame him cos it was all my fault. Now our relation is over but its breakin my heart. M still so sad. dont kno what to do.its been a yr and i m unable to let go

  44. mariek October 8, 2014 at 7:21 pm #

    So my boyfriend (and my first love) and I broke up yesterday: basically, he literally has absolutely no time to see me any more; he has things such as football, long shifts at his new job that take up the weekend, etc. that he can never get out of- this led me to recently only being able to see him once a week, maybe not even that. It began really getting to me as it is only a recent thing and we have had the most perfect, long relationship I have ever had. I ended up becoming too upset and so he decided that it was officially impossible for the relationship to work because he can never see me any more, and apparently the ‘spark’ has gone, although it has only been ‘gone’ since we begun arguing, which started around a month ago. He has never really made a huge effort with me recently; no texts or phone calls, no romance apart from when we saw each other. I asked him to fight for me, to try and make it work, to put in the effort that he used to in the start of the relationship. But he walked away and gave up, and now I feel absolutely heart broken and feel so alone despite my friends being wonderful towards me…and I feel I cant imagine not seeing him any more, to not have a boyfriend any more…
    How do I cope??

    • Jlp October 20, 2016 at 9:51 pm #

      Mariek, how are you now… ? Going thru simular, your story is almost a mirror to mine… Feel like trash .. He moved me aside so he can feel better … After almost a year relationship .. Deserved so much more .. Than the painful wind down and than gone .. Just like that. We are suppose to be still friends .. Heart hurts too much .. It’s been a month .. Brain says move on .. But I can’t … I don’t know why

      I hope you were able to find happiness since your post , gives me hope for the future ..

  45. j.r. March 22, 2015 at 4:38 am #

    It’s been 6 months.
    The relationship was short and very intense. We created a connection both of us didn’t expect. Two strong personalities, too stupid for what we found, fought all the time. He made a final cut. I dated, I found new passion and obsession. He is still in my mind daily and I accepted that. I only wish nights like these where child-like cry and the deepest pain would come to an end. Sometimes (rarely) I even feel his presence and the next moment I am fine, back to “normal”. We don’t contact each other, we don’t live in the same parts of the city… I am tired. I know i will always love this man but I can’t wait to wake up one day free from this illusionary pain.

  46. meka May 24, 2015 at 6:04 am #

    Me and my boyfriend were together for a year and 8 months..Well about a month ago we got into it and I decided to pull away a little…we text everyday and went out for dinner a couple of times and still said I love you and miss u was more like he was suppose to be working on his attitude..Well 5 days ago I found out he slept with another woman in this past month of him getting himself together..I’m so hurt and heartbroken..I loved and cared about him so much and now that this has happened I’m just depressed and can’t stop crying..I know I can’t be with him but part of me still do even though I know he is not the one for me…I haven’t been answering his calls and I just don’t know what to do…haven’t felt like this in years and I just don’t like this feeling..I’m like why me. why must I keep getting hurt in relationships..just can’t stop crying and feeling down…Please Help Me

    • Alex W November 6, 2015 at 5:12 am #

      Hey I’m getting over a break up myself, stumbled across this website and your comment, it seems as if it’s been 5 months since you left that comment and I’m just curious if you have gotten over it yet? If so how long did it take…

  47. Alex W November 6, 2015 at 4:46 am #

    For a long time after I first met my first girlfriend, now ex-girlfriend, we were just friends. I liked her from the start but neither of us were really ready for a relationship at the time. But our friendship grew and grew and we both fell for each other and it was a slow process but eventually we agreed to be bf/gf. It was one of the more wonderful experiences I have had in life so far. She was my first love, my first kiss. But the relationship only lasted a little less than 3 months. It has now been more than a month since the breakup. She broke up with me because she takes dating “very seriously.” She is a fairly religious Christian and does not believe our relationship could work out in the long term because I’m Jewish and when she marries she wants to marry a Lutheran.

    I always thought there was a spark between us that could last a very long time. I tried to talk it out with her and I thought it could still work out, but it didn’t.

    Although certain parts of this article make me feel better, others don’t… I have definitely not followed the “no contact” rule. I have texted her many many times since the breakup and in fact even met up with her several times. The thing is that as devastating as the breakup has been, I don’t know if I can ever get my closure because I don’t think I’ll ever be able to “kick her off her pedestal.” Because she doesn’t deserve to be kicked off. As for myself, I will admit that I made lots of mistakes in the relationship. But in my eyes she could not have been more perfect. The only thing she ever did to disappoint me was break up. She was my love. She was and still is the sweetest and most adorable person I know. Furthermore, although her reasoning saddened me I respect it. And although it pains me deeply I know she made the right choice because this internal conflict of hers was causing her a lot of stress and she didn’t feel we could continue.

    So why am I sad still? It’s like a song I like which says “you can’t relax, you can’t believe it’s really over ’cause the feeling isn’t gone.” I will respect her boundaries and remain in the friendzone from now on. But I will continue to keep meeting with her and breaking the no contact rule… because I like her too much to ever want to let her go. It doesn’t help with moving on because every time I see her is a constant reminder of what I once had and don’t have anymore. But hopefully one day I will get over it.

  48. guest November 29, 2015 at 9:17 pm #

    My story,
    I know I am going to sound like a terrible person and maybe I am, but things happen and you can’t change the things from your past. I married a man when I was 18 years old I do love him, but in love not so much. Years ago I made a choice and had an affair with a friend from work. I fell really hard for him, but we were young I was married with 2 beautiful daughters and he was a single man having fun. He didn’t quite feel the same for me , so he moved on and started seeing other girls. We used to talk a little bit, but then he found a girl and they had a child and then he quit talking to me all together. He deleted me from Facebook which is fine I care about him and want nothing but the best for him and his family. Sometimes it is quite akward when we run into each other and act like we don’t know each other, but I understand I feel like he think that he is embarrassed about what we did. If you read this I just want you to know I do love you still , which I can not help it’s just the way my heart feels. With that said I would never do anything to hurt you or your family I wish you nothing but the best and hope you have a blessed life. I do miss my friend though and wish I did not do what we did so that we could have still been friends, but it is what it is.

  49. Ashley March 24, 2016 at 11:20 pm #

    Hi, my boyfriend & i dated for almost 6 years he broke it off 3 weeks ago saying it was not the same that he did not love me, for me to find someone else & to leave him alone. He blocked me from everywhere & has not contacted me at all for 2 weeks i tried stalking him like a loser calling him from work & he blocked this number as well i am devastated i have no idea how to handle this horrible pain.. He has done this two times before as well & is just bad i always begg & take him back 😓 Help

    • Kelly December 8, 2016 at 10:56 pm #

      Our stories are so very similar. It’s hard to understand how someone that you shared so much with can become so cold. I’m futher along then you and I can’t promise that it gets easier but there are some days now that I can function and to be honest they are starting to outnumber the days that I yearn to be with him. I joined a gym and exercise has been great. I try to keep busy and also look at his negative which I ignored for so long. I’m still hurting but not as much. Good luck to you. There really is a light at the end of the tunnel even if it seems so far away x

  50. Kelly December 8, 2016 at 10:48 pm #

    I’m just fed up of having a pain in my chest and wondering what he is doing without me. My fiancé left me after six years. I was there for him throughout his cancer treatment and when he was fully recovered he left me. I can’t understand it and try to have no contact which I have managed for 3 weeks now. It has been 2 months and I just want him back. He was my world for so long and I can’t see it ever getting better although I know deep down it will. Sorry to ramble on but I now truly understand the meaning of heartbreak.

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