This is so true. It’s been nearly 2 years now after my break up and I’m still not over her. You are absolutely right, I’ve put my Ex on a pedestal, I’ve been idealizing our relationship, so that there is no room for a new beginning.

Your article opened my eyes! Thank you very much. Keep up the great work, there are many out there needing your help.

Hey eddie, this article hit the nail on the head. I recently broke up from a serious relationship and i have been putting her on a pedestal, im now trying to kick her off but why is it dangerous? How should
i go about doing this?

hi there
your article was really helpful! my boyfriend of 7 months who is at uni has just broken up with me over the phone, he cheated on me the night before and feels he cant handle the long distance relaitonship, and his feelings have changed. this was on saturday, very out of the blue. I called him today to ask him more about why it ended and we had a long conversation (both crying) but essentially he has feelings for someone else and needs space. I am finding it so hard to accept this, i keep thinking that he is still part of my life, part of me in a way, and i just want to know how to reach the acceptance stage. I know i will meet someone else becasue i am young, and my family and friends are all there for me, i just cant accept why something that began so well has suddenly finished, and how your feelings can change just like that? any advice would be so much appreciated, thankyou, lucy.

I’m deeply devastated over my recent break-up, its been three weeks, I’ve lost weight, can’t sleep and have cried every day since. The biggest challenge is that I contributed to the breakup and didn’t realize it. I love going to the gym, and would regularly encourage my love to work out, exercise, etc, she was not into that, but my words made her feel insecure, killed her intense passion for me over the months, and because of that made her realize that our union could not be a lasting one, I’m 17 years older than she. I’m 46 and this was the longest lasting relationship I ever had, at my age starting over again, well, I just don’t want to start over. I finally thought I found the love of my life. We shared so much, its like a third of my waking hours are now empty and i have nothing to fill them, the worse part is she doesn’t even want to be friends, not even to talk on the phone, that kills me the most, how could my best friend in the whole world not want to talk to me. When I met her I slowly phased the rest of my friends out, I only wanted to be with her, now that she is gone I have no one. This is so difficult.

Thanks for the page. Very good advice. I just got out of a 2.5 year relationship only to find out she had cheated on me. I had to break it off and it is very hard to make the correct decsions when your in this state of mind. Acceptance is helping me out the most. I agree also with not putting your ex on a pedistal. I am sure this will help me prepare myself for future relationships. I can’t thank you enough for this article.

I broke up with my girlfriend amost a year ago. we dating for 3 years. I still think about her all the time and try to see her. She still trys to contact me and do dinner or lunch but it seems as if we are playing games with one another. I know why we broke up but fro some reason i can get her out of my mind.. Is there anything I can do

oh god i know how all of you feel, i recently ended my 4 and a half year relationship and i found out he was on all these dating sites and having his pictures on there and stuff, i mulled it over and over in my head, i called him to find out the truth but all i got was a response like i didnt do anything and right after that he said im not good enough. i realize that for every break up there is always something better. i realize today that if someone doesn’t love me the way i deserve to be loved they are certainly not worth my time. granted i am going thru hell, i have been sworn at, told im this and that but deep down we all have to find a way to make sure and look in the mirror and say we are all good people. and our x’s do not deserve to have us.

This is a great post. You’re absolutely right about the pedistal thing.

You can’t up another person on a pedestal without putting yourself beneath them.

2 weeks ago I was devastated by my girlfriend leaving me after 6 amazing years. She was the best thing that ever happened in my life. We had all these future plans and goals. I thought we’d be together to the end and that we could work through any problems if there were any . I tried calling her one night with no answer. The next day she sent me an email while I was at work saying she only wishes to remain friends and wished me good fortune in the future. To say I was completely shell shocked and devastated doesn’t even come close. When I called her later in the day she said “I should move on with my life”….in such a cold way….like she was giving a traffic report.
I’m still dealing with the unbearable pain, wretched grief, confusion and in a state of shock.

Note to Ron: We both have a fairly similar situation. I’m 45. If you don’t mind, I’d like to contact you about what we are going through.
My address is emailingdaniel@gmail.com

Hope you are making it through ok.

Daniel

Thank you! It helps me knowing I’m not the only person who has become depressed by a break up. Amazingly, none of my friends have ever truly had their heart broken, so all of them don’t understand why I’m down. Your article is helping move on from my 3+ year relationship with my boyfriend. We were truly each other’s best friend, we decided on getting married, picked kids’ names, go to the same college, live in the same apartment building, and have the same friends. I thought everything in our relationship was perfect until a couple weeks ago while I was on vacation I got an email saying he didn’t feel in love with me anymore. Clearly, I was in shock and became very angry and depressed. I blamed it on myself, put my ex on a pedestal, and told myself we were getting back together. Now that I look back, I realize how terribly he treated me emotionally the last months of our relationship and how I put up with it because I loved him. Why would I want to be with someone who doesn’t love me? Still, he is very mature about everything, didn’t want to hurt me and knew by staying with me he’d hurt me more, and he really wants me to be happy, so it’s hard to hate him. Now that I’ve accepted things, stopped all contact with him and stopped crying, I find myself thinking about him all the time. I think forgetting him is the hardest part. I want to get over him this summer, so by the time Fall semester starts again so I won’t be upset when I see him with girls at our apartment building when school starts. Even the thought of seeing him with someone else has caused me to vomit. How do I deal with seeing him moving on if I have not completely moved on?

About 8 months ago, my fiance left me (two weeks before the wedding) after being engaged for 2 years and together for 4. It was extremely painful and left me in complete shock. There was truly no warning (aside from the typical pre-wedding jitters) and I did not even know he left (we were about 2 hours apart). We bought our wedding rings and excitedly paid the deposit on our apartment on Sunday, he goes back home on Monday, and I find out on Wednesday that he actually left me and was about 1000 miles away. Complete and utter shock. He calls me that morning and says that he did not love me anymore and didn’t want to marry me. I told him that would be fine, but I would appreciate his help in clearing up the mess (wedding presents, alerting the 200 guests who were attending the destination wedding). He told me he did not care and would not help and did not even care about the pain I was going through. After picking up the pieces, and thankfully I had a wonderful and supportive, though also hurt and shocked, family, I decided to move on and go back to school for a second degree I had always wanted. About a month after the break-up, he decides that he wants back in my life and realizes his mistake and his loss. He has apologized and has tried very hard to fix the relationship. Trust, of course, is a huge problem for me, and I am going through all of these stages mentioned (I feel that I am currently in the independent stage because I am going back to school and thinking of things I always wanted to do before, like travel). I guess my problem is trying to figure out what I truly want. I am unsure if people can work through a break-up like this or if it is even healthy to do so. I understand that he loves me and people may think me naive, but I can assure you of his love. We were the “perfect couple” who were very much in love. He explained that he felt pressured by his family and could not deal with it. He actually went through the stages (how to know if your boyfriend is about to break up with you) and I see it now, especially his lack of communication and lies. He says that he wants what is best for me and supports any decision I make regarding us. I feel as though I am still grieving for what was lost. I wonder if I will ever be that excited and innocent again and it pains me to see my friends get what I did not. I understand that it was not what God had planned for me but how do I decide if I should move on when I still love my ex-fiance so much? I have so much confusion and would really appreciate any advice or people going through similar situations (I need to know I’m not alone).

-Laura

I’ve been seperated for almost three years. Both of us jumped into another relationship right after (not a good idea). Both tried to hide the pain. We were high school sweethearts and married for almost 7 yrs before we split. We split because of selfish reasons and never really tried to work on it….both just gave up. We have one son and he is still heartbroken. We recently just had a long conversation of how we both think of eachother all the time still, dream of eachother and wish for our family to be with eacother again and how we never stopped loving eachother. We are still in other relationships and obviously care about our new persons but agree its not the same as him and I were and still are. We know it will never be the same as him and I and how we both agree its not fair to our new spouses that we are not over eachother. So here we are. its been almost three years. We never had time to ourselves after the break up and tried to hide our feelings with other people. This is a hard situation because now two other people are dragged into this drama. Now we are both taking our time to think about if we should give ‘us’ another try. I am so lost and confused. I love him and want to be a family again but scared ‘we’ wont work out but honestly know he is still the ONE for me.
Any advise and/or clarification would be appreciated. Thank you, Bon

I have to say that I was starting to give up until I came upon this site. My boyfriend and I were together for 3+ years before we ended it less than a week ago. I know that I’m better off and that our lives were not on the same track but I can’t help putting him up on a pedestal and thinking about all of the good things that we had going in our relationship. I guess I’m dealing with the break-up sort of opposite of what’s normal. I keep thinking of how good things were and I’m not angry at him, I just miss him terribly. For the past couple days I haven’t eaten much and have had horrible stomach pains but after reading articles on this site, my stomach pains have lightened up. It’s made me realize that maybe this is for the best after all. Our relationship wasn’t exactly perfect; we fought all of the time, we weren’t happy together but we loved (and still love) each other and thought that things would fall into place. I think this is a step in the right direction for me.

I can’t thank you enough for the articles on this site. I intend to visit often to remind myself that this is the right choice and I will grow from this.

Thank you, Meghan

Hello.
I have just been through the most painfull thing in my life., Me and what i thought to be soul mate ended it. She has been through so much with her sister dieing of cancer @ the age of 27. We meet and fell in love right away. But mabe it was during the worst time of her life & was there for her but in the end destroyed myself lost my employment and over this tryed to remove myself from this earth. I fell into a trap and she sucked all my emotion and love away. Im barely able to function and even leave my apartment. Things are so bad and Im going down more and more every day. I sit here and have nightmares of her and the times we have had. Why has this happened to me and why did I let her take me down and use me up. I loved her so very much but now my bank account is empty and pretty much in 5 days homeless she just laughs and says such a waste while she has everything inculding my soul & heart & lives on a free meal ticket from another man. All i wanted was to have a life with someone that loved me and i could trust but instead used my feelings and most trusted intimate words and ripped them up and twisted everything to hurt me. How can I ever find my way from this mess and get myself out of this pit and ever move on.

Hi eddie, I have just broken up with my boyfriend of six years and I have never felt this kindo pain before!I broke it off because he wasn’t giving me the respect and the attention i felt I deserved.We are still in contact and he is still a good friend and although I acknowledge that I can find someone else to love my secret desire is for us to realize where we went wrong and maybe start over again and I know he wants the same thing too. Do you think it’s possible or am I setting myself up for another painful heartbreak?

I have read these stories & i’m amazed how much i can relate to these people…my ex & i decided to break up after almost 6 yrs together…i felt like he wasn’t making time for me…all he wanted to do was party & hang out w/him friends…i’ve been coping w/this better than i thought i would…i’m still in the healing process but there’s not a day that i don’t think about it…maybe we could of talked and worked things out…he just left me with empty promises…i’m here to talk to people to talk about our stories maybe someone can give me advice or i can listen to your story…we’re all here for similar reasons

getting better…
life is really unpredictable.you dont know what youll be facing each day.the things that you expect dont happen and those that you never expected are the ones that happens…but we have no choice but to face whatever it is that comes to our lives.it is a challenge to live each day,especially if you are in an emotional turmoil.

conquering an emotional challenge is not easy,especially if you have invested your everything to the relationship and if you have made your world evolve around the person.its a failure on your part if you’ll let those challenges beat you instead of fighting against it…trials are part of our lives,it comes and it goes and it depends on us how we face it.trials makes us strong and prepares us to future obstacles that we will be facing.

to live everyday is an oppurtunity for us to be a better person.to do better for ourselves and to other people…getting better is not easy but it can be achieved with a positive outlook.its not easy if youve been thru a situation which made you feel like a nobody..but with GODS guidance and blessings getting better is not far from our reach…all we have to do is to let GOD drive our lives for us,lets go to where he wants us to go and for sure the road that we will be taking to live each day of our lives is the right track,and the right one for us to take.

@Laura -
you’re definitely not alone LAURA…ive been to similar situation the worst that i can think of…i have a BF for 3 years and we also have plans of getting married both of famlies and friends were informed of our plans…all of a sudden i have known that he has made another girl pregnant,i was really devastated..i got depressed,i have never expected that such thing could happens to me,to us…but i have to face the truth that no matter how much i love him the trust is already ruined…you can survive whatever you are facing right now…just TRUST in the LORD for HE is there to help us in everything that we are facing…I only hold on to HIM that why i have survived after what i have experienced…just pray…

Hi eddie, I really really want to get over my boyfriend because I know how much better I will be with out him. I know he really is bad for me. I know he keeps back-ups and lies to me. I also know that he loves me to the point that he was constantly scared to lose me and in turn treated me like I was an enemy that could hurt him. I loved him so much that I knew I was getting done wrong and instead of walking out on him and hurting him I just drove us crazy with accusations and fights until he had no choice but to leave me. I was hurting the whole time I was with him. So now that it is over I don’t know how to deal with it. How can you be in love with some one you hate? I’m torn and hurt. I can’t decide which is worse. I’m having a war with my heart and brain. I’m filled with what-ifs….had I just shown him I was never gonna leave. I saw potential in him I never saw before in any one but we couldn’t get over each others insecurities. We were so much alike I know he’s angry. And I’m more worried about him being hurt then me? So how do I go about the steps. I’m not angry. I’m worried. I want to move on. But I can’t accept the fact that is how he really is.

RAE- I cannot believe how similar our feelings toward our exes are. I was with my boyfriend for 3 1/2 years and we lived together for 2 1/2 of them. He was physically, verbally and emotionally abusive. He was controlling and jealous to a point of absurdity, and I put up with it. I think somewhere deep inside of me, I wanted to believe that he was that way because he loved me so much. Now, we have been broken up for 1 week and he already has another girlfriend, whom he obviously left me for. She is living WITH him in the home that we lived together in and as much as I hate him, I still love him. I want him back, even though all my friends and family know this man is a monster. I think that I just put so much into the relationship and tolerated such horrible things, in the hopes that he would realize one day how much I loved him and change. And it’s a shock and devastating to me that he is the one that walked away. He is claiming that I nagged to much and never gave him any attention sexually. But yet, the reason I nagged was because he began going out 3-4 nights a week and coming home after 3 am. In my opinion, in a commited relationship, I had every right to voice my opinion as I felt I was being neglected. I wasn’t ”allowed” to go out with friends or have male friends AT ALL. But yet, he could come and go as he pleased because he was ‘the man of the house’. Now he has a 22 year old gf with no job (I’m a hard working 31 year old) so of course she has all the time in the world to wait around for him at all hours of the night (except that he takes HER everywhere with him). And when he used to get home at 4 or 5 am on WEEKNIGHTS he would want to be intimate and I’d be half asleep and have work the next day. That’s when he started saying I lost interest in him, but I hadn’t. I just wanted a NORMAL life. A man that would come home so that he had TIME to be intimate with me and work as well. He’s 36 years old and has reverted back to his early twenties…and I guess there’s nothing I can do about that. But I think about him all day everyday and it takes all the strength I have in me to even go on. I’m so lost. I’m so hurt and I’m SO SO angry.

you did the right thing by distancing yourself from this man. your happiness is the most important thing, and as I have learned during my recent breakup if a bf doesn’t seem to be into you, there is no possible way to change his mind (i’ve certainly tried).

this guy is obviously not good enough for you, and it makes perfect sense that you still have feelings for him, they always linger after an intense relationship. just try to keep being strong, and remember that you are doing the right thing, and that the feelings of anger, missing your ex, and constantly thinking about him are totally expected after a break up and that they will eventually go away.

good luck, and try to realize that you will find a guy who treats you well, and respects you as a person, and deserves you, just be patient, and in the mean time don’t forget that you are a good person and you deserve the best.

I’m just too lonely, sometimes I think it’s the loneliness that is killing me. I desperately need someone beside, I feel like I’m thrown away and I’m nothing than a loser.
I look at myself in the mirror and I know I’m losing who I am. I’ve tried my best to set goals for life, but sometimes I find it too hard to move on

Ron, First Post, Feb 19th, 2008

As you can read from my first post, I was pretty devastated, in four weeks, I lost 27 lbs, was on medication to sleep, medication to eat, and started seeing a therapist for the first time ever, there were times I didn’t think I was going to make it, I looked into the mirror and was shocked by what I saw looking back at me. I was so lonely, full of guilt, not knowing what to do, call, don’t call, lay low, push ahead and try to win back the Love I knew deep in my heart was the one for me.

Well, so much has happened since, its almost 10 months since our break-up, I gained back my weight, I’m off the medication, and stopped seeing my therapist, time does heal, never thought that was true back then, but it does, but its still not easy. I still have my highs and lows, and I’m still not where I want to be, but thank God, I’m not where I was.

I have agonized as I have watched my ex go from one new boyfriend to another, and each time it ends, I go charging back hoping for the best, but to no avail, when will I learn, we talk now from time to time, but its few and far between, but those conversions are to die for. When we talk she seems so happy and doesn’t have a care in the world, but I can barely control myself, the phone actually shaking in my hand for fear I might say something to push her further away or the fear that I might start crying again and lose what dignity I have regained since our breakup. I know I should stay away but I can’t.

She called on Thanksgiving Day to wish me well, I was on top of the world when she did, but at the end of our 5 minute conversation I was devastated once again, she told me she was having Thanksgiving dinner with her “New Boyfriend,” well, its been 10 months but that statement destroyed my entire day, once I hung up I started to cry, I barely ate anything at dinner, and now all I can do is think about her with someone other than me, its still so hard.
My birthday is in two weeks, then 2 weeks later its Christmas and then New Years, I don’t even want to think about my disappointment if she doesn’t come visit, which is my secret desire, I know after the holidays it will get better, but for the first time ever I now know why people get depressed around the holidays, when you are all alone, and the one you love more than life itself is not with you, but could be, but doesn’t want to be, and to make matters worse, rather be with someone other than you, someone that you know for a fact won’t treat her half as good as you would, rips your heart out and makes you want to fall to your knees and scream!

I’m trying to stay positive, and Lord knows I am better then I was, but God, when will the agony end! I now know the pain will subside, because it has, but I don’t think I will ever get over her, and God help the one that replaces her, Lord knows she will never fill her shoes! As for dating, all I see is trash, no one compares, after I had sex with someone else for the first time, when she left I started to cry, why, because it reminded me of my ex, what we used to share, the tender moments, plus, I felt guilty because I had sex with someone other than the one I Loved, it felt wrong after it was over, I just pulled the covers over my head and cried myself to sleep.

Bottom line to everyone else, it does get better, but its so very, very hard, each day is a struggle, good luck to each of you, we all need it, and deserve so much better!

Hi Sim! I am devastated to read that yo you feel this way! It is terrible! Don’t ever think you are nothing and that you deserve this pain because you do not! Find a way of liking what you see in the mirror! Surround yourself with people who make you feel good! Keep busy do things that make you feel good! I started going to church when I was 18 and had depression! I didn’t find God or anything like that it just made me feel safer. I also started doing charity work, voluneter work, fundraising! Helping others can really make us appreciate what we have and how well off we really are!
I am sure I have said nothing which has helped but please please don’t think you are worth nothing! To the world you may be one person but to one person you may be the world! Appearance and wealth are not the things which make our dreams come true it is strength of character, it is loving ourselves in spite of our imperfections, it is seeing perfection in our inperfections! Be who you are and be proud! You don’t need somebody to make you whole, you are already as whole as you need to be! Remember strangers are friends we have not met yet. Go and meet them!

@Sim -

Eddie, you gotta help me out.

I & my g.f was in relationship for 6 months. Then last week, I called her 20 times, she didn’t pick up the phone. Then she comes online and says that she wants to break up because of her mum. Her mum went to the astrologer and found that from chinese zodiac, Mine(”RAT”) and hers(”RABBIT”) marriage doesn’t work and would be really horrible if we did marry. So she forced her daughter to break up with me. When I said that she is the one who’s gonna spend life with me but she denies and says that my mum went through the same situation like ours and her dad died because of that. Her mum doesn’t want that to happen for her daughter. I called her mum and tried to persuade her not to believe in superstitions but I failed. This is my final semester of undergraduate degree and I am really being frustrated and unfocused. I also need to focus on my studies so I was wondering if you would give some suggestions to get over it ASAP.
Thank you

I left my partner of 8 years in December. It wasnt working out and we knew it had to end. I looked outside this relationship for love and thought i had found the love of my life in Late November. This other women showed she cared and loved me as i did her. After 6 weeks she told me she didnt love me and didnt want a realtionship as the time wasnt right for her and her feelings of love where now more like friendship,,,this was confusing as 6 days before that she said she loved me more and more every day..two weeks after this she told me we would be only friends after taking a trip we planned together in March. We couldnt get the money back so we went. For another 5 weeks up until the trip and on the trip she showed me she really did care for me. Im sure she does. This women has never striked me a a player but she says the time is not right for her. This has hurt as i was the first time I had felt love and given it back freely for years. Last night i told her it hurt what had happened, I had loved her and the feelings have been more wanting to be in love with her , getting the same back more then actually feeling in love. But I do feel I love her but I think its confused with not loving myself and thats what the pain and hurt I feel is about..Maybe I want her to heal the pain i feel inside me. We meet last night and to clear the air and have closure..We hug and it felt right ,,,she sms me today and said she feels so comfortable with me,,,I do care deeply for this women but i seem to latch oto everything she says when its only her being caring,,,

What do i say to my ex if i meet them?? Thanks for the advice.
xx

I can totally understand how you feel. Ive been broken up with my gf for 2 months now and I was so depressed. Ive lost myself and despite all the signs telling me we wont get back I ignore them. I wake up every morning thinking of her feeling terrible, every night before I got to sleep I think of her and pray we will work it out. I am sometimes sick and lost loads of weight. Im better than I was but im in denial and I cant let go. I wonder how I will feel in the future and If I will ever be happy without her. I love her so much but everytime we speak I some how bring the relationship into it pleading with her and asking if we will ever get back which annoys her and upsets her. I tried the no contact rule but it lasted 5 days and I had to ring her. We had a nice cinversation but the next day I rang her and for some reason asked her if she was seeing anyone which she told me was none of my business and hung up. So im back to square one, Ive been hoping all this time we could work things out and its all I want more than anything in the world, and yet any chance I had I make it worse for myself by bringing it up. The pain I feel is so immense and the memories haunt me everyday. i dont know what to do and ask myself if it will ever end. Its like a curse, I want to move on but I cant seem to let go the hope of us getting back together which she hasnt ruled out yet. She wont rule it out she says if its meant to be it will be but I dont know how to interprit that. I need to move on either way but its hard and I dont know how to control my thoughts.

Hope you feel better, I know the pain you feel and it sucks

I am on the verge of a breakdown, I have started antidepressants because I have been feeling suicidal!
I met my husband on Myspace Aug 07, we fell in love instantly and married a year to the day I messaged him Aug 08. Thing is he has moved 200 miles to live with me, it was the happiest moment in my life. But my daughter of 15 has managed to finally split us up. It was only last night I heard from my eldest daughter that her sister had said a few months back that she was going to to make a Masterplan to split me and my husband up. Everything falls into place now when me, my husband and eldest daughter talked about all the arguments. we found out she had told lies about him and I stood by my daughter and didnt punish her. My husband said he felt alone and ganged up on. He said after all blood is thicker than water and if we stay together she would be in our lives forever. He said he still loves me and is going back to his hometown as he couldnt live with her under the same roof after all she has done. I am devastated that he is going and cant handle the way he has been so cold to me. He says he doesnt want to get close because it will cloud his jugement and he has made his decision to leave and start fresh. I said I hate her for ruining my future and said she can go live with her father and I will move down to my husbands home, but he said it wouldnt work as she would still be in his life wether or not he ever saw her again., and he doesnt want anything connected to her. He was a wonderful man and husband who never raised a hand to me and bought both of the girls presents and went out as a family, and ive losed him. Why ?, because I have a selfish unfeeling child, who wanted not just me to herself but to have the run of the home as it was before my husband moved in. I dont think I will get over him, its harder when you BOTH love each other and know its the end. I will have him on a PEDISTAL because he was the most loving generous man ive ever met, and for the short time we had together I will make sure those memories stay in my heart. We both cried together this morning, knowing we will not see each other again, but now im left with a volotile anger towards my daughter, who has taken my lovely future away in a click. She starts college in Sept 09, she will meet new friends, have a new life and still have her boyfriend of 2 years by her side. I am left in a big 3 bedroomed house on my own and no one to share anything with, i feel lonely scared and abandoned..please help, Any advice from anyone would be apperciated my email is scubasharron@yahoo.co.uk Hope you all find happiness x

I can relate to everyone’s story in some way. One year ago, I was in a wonderful relationship. I had never before felt the things he made me feel and no one had ever cared for me in the ways he did. It was without a doubt the happiest part of my life. He is the first man I have ever been in love with. We made plans together, we discussed marriage and everyday he told me I was the one. He bought me a promise ring for Christmas and I still remember every word he said to me that night and how lucky I felt to have him. We were in deep love and I never thought it would end. Come January, I started to see a different person. He didn’t look at me the same, didn’t touch me the same and after a while he seemed to just stop showing affection. We broke up at the end of February. Two weeks later, he called me to tell me he missed me and wanted to work on things. As I find out, he had gone on a date already and it made him miss having me. I was angry but I forgave him. So we worked on our relationship and got back together in April, which was the mark of our one year. Three weeks later, here I sit broken hearted again. He broke my heart twice. It’s horrible because I don’t think he’ll come back this time. He seemed content with the break up and ready to move on. He just fell out of love with me and didn’t feel the same anymore. He was a completely different person. I just don’t understand how people and feelings can change so abruptly. One month we were crazy in love and the next, we were breaking up. The pain I feel right now is nothing like I’ve ever felt. I don’t know what to do and I’m so tired of crying and praying for him to come back to me. I think it’s even harder because he is the only man I’ve ever been in love with and because we had discussed marriage and he referred to me as his soulmate all the time. I don’t know what to do anymore. This site was very helpful, and I’m trying to get through the acceptance stage. I want to see him so badly again but I think it may make the situation worse. It hurts to lose the one person you thought you’d spend forever with. I am young, and I know there are other fish in the sea, but I can’t help but feel like he is the one and I lost him. I can’t help but feel like I will never find anyone else like him again. It hurts everytime I think about it.