I have been with people for a long time as well who broke my heart. Once I caught my boyfriend having sex with my best friend. And my last boyfriend was secretly seeing his ex behind my back. People can act like something for a long time and then one day it all changes. Which means this is not your fault. Change always happens. Sometimes for the worse and sometimes for the best. One thing I do know is that things happen for a reason. I think we learn something from our past relationships and heartbreak. And it’s not until we are fully ready and now what we deserve that “The one” will come along. Don’t settle for nothing less. Take this time to learn about you. Do things for yourself. Hang out with your friends. It will hurt for a long time. But when you are ready find your one and only. Do not try to get this girl back.

Much love

Brittany

Well with out a doubt…I will never love again. The pain of giving your heart your sole your love. To have it ripped out of you i can not amagin healing ever.

my boyfriend of 3 and a half years just broke up with me this past weekend. We had our ups and downs, but the past 6 months were going really well. We were talking about engagement, weddings, and finding a place together. I had just started nursing school, and was stressed from having to work full time and going to school full time. He told me that I was acting like I didn’t care, and showed up nothing. Only after he told me this was I aware that I had been acting more as a friend and not as a girlfriend. But instead of giving me a chance to show him, he ended it. Told me he didn’t want to be with someone he had to tell to show more affection. I couldn’t believe it, it was like all my plans for the future were gone. How could he just give up that easy?? Did he really not love me the way I thought he did?? I’m trying my hardest to move on, but it’s hard when you figured out your life with someone, and they are no longer apart of it. I’m forced to start from the beginning, and it sucks. Hopefully a week maybe a month I will be in a better place, and am okay with not being with him.

@Brandy –
I know how it feels when all the plans just suddenly gone. I don’t think I’ll be able to open up to another person again, It just hurts too much to be betray by someone who is that closed to you. damn these sleepless nights.

I have been with the same man for 8 years. I loved him with every ounce of my being. He was the man I was going to spend the rest of my life with…or so I thought.

He lost both of his parents to different circumstances and was an only child. His whole life the only person he has had to rely on was himself. When I came into his life it took him a couple years to let me in and allow me to be that support. I would have done absolutely anything for him…not to mention absolutely anything to be with him. I still would!

My family is extremely important to me! I come from a big Italian family…need I say more? I moved over 1000 miles away from them to be with this man. I was willing to give up one of the most important things in my life to be with him. I loved him more than anything in the world and with a passion that I can’t even begin to describe.

We have lived together for the last 6 years. We started looking at rings and talking about kids. One day his best friend told us that he was expecting his first child…a little girl. A couple days later my boyfriend got scared and ended our relationship. He cut off contact with me. I thought I was going to die!! This happened about 2 years ago. 5 agonizing months later we got back together. I moved back to his state to be with him and we started building on our relationship again. We purchased a house last year, and picked out a ring for the engagement. He has started his own business and I am starting nursing school. I found out I was pregnant with our first child the day after Halloween. He changed the moment I told him I was pregnant. He is one of those men who has a “plan” and never wants to deviate from it. Kids weren’t in his plan quite yet. This baby wasn’t planned, but we knew it was a possibility. I was so excited, but he was terrified. All of a sudden I felt like I had a disease. It was like he was scared to touch me. He completely changed. The time we spent together diminished. When we did spend time together he was vacant and it was as if he wasn’t there. He started working crazy hours and avoiding “us.” I was stupid to believe that if I loved him enough for the both of us that he’d come around. I hoped that he was just scared and didn’t know how to react. He broke up with me 3 weeks ago, and I don’t know what to do. I feel like I’ve died inside. I am 5 months pregnant with his child, and he doesn’t seem to want anything to do with me or the baby. He hasn’t been supportive at all through the pregnancy. I have been throwing up with morning sickness (24 hour sickness) the entire pregnancy, not to mention exhausted. He never tried to comfort me once. He feels that there isn’t a baby yet, and he doesn’t have to act interested until the baby is actually here. I moved back to my home state so I could have the support of my family. I am in shock and so much pain…I don’t know what to do. Despite everything, I still want to spend my life with him and raise this baby girl with him. I am so angry at myself for still loving him so much.

He still tells me that I’m who he wants to spend his life with and that he loves me. How can he say that but not want to be with me?! It’s almost as if he wants to go out and be single and “hook up” and not have to worry about a pregnant girlfriend at home. He is almost 30 years old but is acting like a child. Every day I sit around and think about him. I look at pictures and read old letters. I cry myself to sleep almost every night. I know that this pain and stress isn’t good for the baby, but I don’t know how to make it stop. I know I shouldn’t be looking at old memories, but I can’t stop. I can’t imagine anyone ending a relationship when someone is 5 months pregnant. He didn’t have his parents growing up, so I thought he would have done anything in his power to be a part of his child’s life. I just want to crawl into a hole and die. I don’t want to be awake because it means I have to think about it. He is all I think about every second of every day. I obsess about what he is doing and where he is. Wondering if he is out with someone else. The thought of being with someone else makes me sick, but I think he is already moving on. The thought of him being with someone else physically makes me ill. I want to find the strength to move on, but I have none. This pregnancy should be one of the most amazing times in my life, but I’m miserable. The baby kicked for the first time a week ago, and all I could think about was how he wasn’t here to experience it with me. Setting up a nursery, and going shopping for the baby makes me even more depressed than I already am. I should be doing all this with him…not alone! I am so hurt that he doesn’t feel it’s important to be a part of any of it.

I still love this man with all my heart and it is killing me inside. I don’t want to spend my life with anyone else. I don’t know how to let him go. I guess I’m still holding out hope that he’s going to come around and realize he’s making the biggest mistake of his life! It’s still fresh, and there is a hole where my heart once was. I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to stop loving him.

Sorry this is so long…I guess I needed to talk it out and vent a little.

HI kelsey,

tears r in my eyes while reading ur story…dont worry god is with u and he is great he will help u out…eveything will b fine….don worry…concentrate on ur kid…future of ur kid…be strong…

ur frend.
Amar.

@Kelsey – im sorry if this sounds mean…i understand how hard it is..but ur baby has to & should be ur #1 priority right now…I cant imagine loving a man more then you child…that poor baby did nothing wrong to be put through all this without even being born yet…if you put all ur energy into taking care of & preparing ur self for the baby by the time the baby is born u’ll be over the brake up…y love a man that wont be there for you or his own child..this is one of the if not the most important times in a woman’s life & if he’s not there for you now then he wont be for anything else..If he’s not there for this baby what makes u think he’ll b there for you…if he doesn’t love & care for his unborn child then he’s not capable of loving any one..u need to love ur baby & love ur self more then u love him…ur baby needs you..Dont put her through all this stress..She doesn’t deserve it..U don’t deserve it…I understand completely how hurt u are but I just don’t understand y he is more important then the baby..u should enjoy this time…u will never have ur 1st baby again..u have to train ur mind to start thinking about tings other then him…don’t think about y he’s not going through this with u..screw him…the more u sit & look at pics & letters the harder it’s gonna be to move on…u said u can’t stop looking at old memories..uhhh y would u do it when u know its just gonna cause u more pain & im not even talking about what all that stress is doing to the baby..u need to put the baby 1st..She should be the MOST important person for u right now..It almost sounds like u enjoy torturing ur self..cuz I think if u didn’t then u wouldn’t keep going through letter & pictures. Stop doing that & I promise u’ll see how much easier it will be..Im really sorry for being so blunt but this unborn child doesn’t deserve it…I had a co-worker that went through a similar situation as u..When she was pregnant, her & her guy split…all she did was mope around. about a year after the baby was born she notice that something isn’t right so she took him to a doctor to have him checked out…come to find out that when she was pregnant with him because of all the stress she put herself through caused the baby to have a stroke…he is now about 7 years old & he has paralysis or weakness (inability to move the arms or legs properly) on the left side of his body. She can’t help but blame herself for what happen to him. she cries about it all the time now & a few years later the guy tried to come back but she wouldn’t have him anymore because she is so angry for what happen to that innocent poor kid…he was the only one that did nothing wrong but he was the only one that really got hurt in the process..Both my co-worker & the father of the baby moved on with their lives & don’t even look back any more..Please don’t put ur baby through the stress. & again im so sorry if i sound rude or any thing, i kown how hard it is but think of ur baby…in ur letter u said ur sorry for the long story…its ok thats what the site is for come on here & write as much as u want…let it all out..u need to..i would be more then happy to listen if u need a person to talk to..i can give u my e-mail address & we can talk..just let me know…take care for now. i promise u it will get better.

@bell29 –

bell29~ Your words aren’t rude at all. As much as I don’t want to hear it, I need to! You are completely right. Any man who can choose himself over his unborn child and the mother of his child isn’t a man at all. Furthermore, he doesn’t deserve to be a part of my little girl’s life, or my tears. Please know that this baby is the most important thing in my life, and my number one priority. I moved back to OR instead of staying in CA because I knew it would be better for my baby. I have wanted children since I was a little girl. I promise you that this baby will be my life and I will love her more than anything in this world. It breaks my heart that my previous post would make anyone think that this baby isn’t the most important thing in my life. I really need to change the way I present myself and the way I handle the situation. This little girl is such a blessing, and she will be my everything.

This is still so new to me, I am still learning to deal with it. It’s hard to turn off feelings when you’ve loved someone for 8 years. I am doing everything in my power to keep my stress down. He was my first everything, which makes it that much harder to let go. I have never experienced a real heartbreak till now. I’m still eating healthy even though food isn’t exactly that appealing at the moment, and I’m getting plenty of sleep. I got rid of all the pictures and letters, and I completely cut off contact with him last night. I need to move on with MY life, as impossible as it seems at the moment. I once heard a quote that said, ‘Don’t let someone become your everything, because when they’re gone you have nothing!’ I need to find myself again, and find what makes ME happy. A man should compliment me, not make me. It’s hard to admit this, but I feel I don’t know who I am without him. I used to be such an outgoing, motivated fun-loving person. Over time I lost who I was. I never really realized it till he was gone and I was left with a shell. Who I once was has disappeared. I want so badly to be that person I once was. I can’t wait to look at my little girl for the first time…to hold her and know that she is mine. I can’t let him ruin this experience for me. I have to let myself be excited and embrace every new thing that comes.

I know time heals…I just hope that time moves quickly.

@bell29 –
Kelsey,
I know it is hard, but it will get easier. I have a similar situation. I was with my ex for 10 years, 5 months before our wedding, etc, etc. We broke up because he cheated on me, and thought the girl was pregnant. Well she wasn’t, and 2 wks later I found out that I was pregnant. Well she managed to get pregnant 3 months later. It was hard to watch them live the life he had always promised me. She moved into our home, and into my role.

Now… My son is 13 and we are happy. He does not have much contact with his father (his fathers choice), and is closer to his fathers parents. My ex married the girl (once she divorced her husband), and they have 2 kids together. I don’t think about him that often, and my son is doing great. I am almost finished with my doctorate, and we take care of each other. We have great friends and I have a wonderful family.

I do remember the pain. There were some days I didn’t know if I would survive the sadness. I went to counseling a few times a week for a year, and talked about everything until I was done talking. I then focused on my son when he was born. He was the light that shone through all the dark days that I had prior. It did hurt for a couple of years, but when I left the state where he lived, my life began and healing began. I will allow my son’s father to have as much contact as he chooses, but we don’t hold our breath. There are men out there who can be great role models and fathers to those children whose fathers walk away. There is life after the heartbreak. You need to be stong for your child because after all you are the world to that person, and they need you to show them smiles, and love. Design a life filled with joy for your child so that they can grow up happy and healthy.

I just want to thank you all, even though my issue is nothing like yours ( my ex told me that he was over me and that he wants me him alone, stop calling him because nothing is going to change) and i still want him. So that does let me know that i have issues with myself, because when some one tells you that they no longer want to be with you, you should just let them go. So i am putting my trust in God to get over this. I had a lot ot happen to me in my life from a child to now (30 yo). So thank you all for being so helpful with your kind words and your wisdon. I t makes a world of difference. God bless you all and again thanks!

My bf of (and you may find this silly) three months broke up with me a few days ago, we were best friends for over a year and a half prior to letting our feelings show for each other and diving head first into one of the greatest relationships I thought I had ever been in. Out of nowhere he said that it felt like we were more than friends than lovers, he didn’t feel that spark between us like he did in our first month and that feeling was with him for a while and hoped it would change but never did. Sadly he never said anything to me and I wish he did. He said he didn’t know what he was getting into when we first started dating, because he was used to me being a certain way with him as friends and seeing the real side of me (which I very rarely let anyone see) wasn’t what he expected and was sorry.
I was blinded and thought we were in bliss, we never had an argument and we had already talked about getting married, kids, and our future together. A day before our break up we had just gotten back from our first vacation together that went great and we couldn’t wait for our next one (I couldn’t wait, but I guess he didn’t care either way). So needless to say when he ended it I was devastated, and still am. I didn’t go to work for a few days and I barely started to eat just today. Oh and to make matters worse we work together. I do have to see him for at least a few more days because by the graces of God I was promoted to a different building and I know that not having to see him everyday will make getting over him much easier.
I couldn’t help but blame myself for what happened because I thought everything was going great but like the saying goes “not all that glitters is gold”. I still blame myself slightly but I can’t help it. I miss him terribly and I’ll miss him just being my friend like we were. I woke up this morning missing him more than ever because I was used to waking up in his arms. I told him that I don’t think that we could be friends but who knows in the future. I don’t want to fool myself thinking that we’ll get back together because I don’t think it will happen and I don’t know if I want to go through the heartache again just in case he changes his mind again. I don’t know if I can love anyone again the way I loved him, but the pain is still fresh so who knows.
I pray that everyone on here (including myself) finds peace in their hearts because to love again because I sure as hell hope to find it too.

thanks so much for this. it is simple and straight to the point…..just what i needed : )

@bell29 – Thank you again for being so blunt. It has made me step back and truly evaluate how I am acting. This man doesn’t even deserve a single one of my tears, let alone my thoughts. I am going to focus every ounce of energy on this little girl growing in my belly even if it kills me! I would love to talk via email if the offer still stands. You are a breath of fresh air

about 12 months ago, i first met this girl, she use to go to the same school but i never really talked to her in 6 years, but after year 12 we just started talking over msn, i found out she went to the same tafe and talked to her there for a while, i really had no feelings for her at all, we continued to talk more and more and she started to come out to nightclubs with my group of friends, she use to spend all her time with this other guy there, but everynow and then would talk to me, few weeks later all my friends were telling me she liked me andshe asked me to go out somewhere, i didnt like her at all so i said i was busy but at one party i just suddenly wanted to spend time with her and i guess i started to like her slightly, she went out with my friends that next night and hooked up with one of them, i didnt really care but was surprised, we kept talking though after this and started going out more often, then i drove her out one night and it was then i fell in love with her we hung out and talked the whole night till 4am, did this a few more times, i told her that i liked her she said she liked me back but was “unsure” about a relationship because of past experiences, so i said that i would b willing to b in a relationship with her when she felt ready, then i stayed with her and went out on her birthday, that night i truly loved her, and had never felt like that around anyone before… about 1 week later she went away to melb to visit family, we still txted eachother the whole week, organised to go shoping when she got back, we did, but something didnt feel right when she came up with her best friend, that night she told me that she didnt ” feel it today” took me about 5 min to realize what she was saying she said that she would never b in a relationship with me, it cut me so deep i cried for days and just felt so depressed, i talked to her about it for a while she explained she just didnt like me one night when she was in melbourne, i have no idea what happened or what i did wrong. Im shy and never really showed my feelings to her in person. i dont think she realized how much i liked her. but after a few weeks i felt slightly better, but i have never improved from there 8 months on, every night before i go to sleep i think of her and cry everyday something reminds me of her and the time we spent together, i talk to her everynow and then and pretend i just like her as a friend. ive seen her hook up with other guys infront of me and the same one she did before i liked her, all i can do is turn around and walk away, i get so angry and cant beleive whats happened. I just cant let her go, ive tried many times but nothing comes close to what i felt with her, and i dont know what im going to do when she enters another relationship, theres still hope in me that she will like me again, i know that i have to get rid of this feeling but when i think back to walking home with her i just cant, i dont understand why this has hurt me so much when it wasent even a relationship, i still love her as much as i did when she told me she no longer liked me….

@Kelsey – hi Kelsey…yes of course the offer still stands….i would love to talk to you via e-mail…even though i cant do much to ease ur pain i would still love to just listen to you & give you as much advise as i can..E-mail me @ StarC1981 @ yahoo. com & we can talk as much as you need to get you through this…you sound like such a wonderful person & even though I don’t know you personally I can tell that you will be a great mother. Ill be waiting for ur e-mail & remember don’t frown cuz you never know who’s falling in love with your smile =)