The No-Contact Rule is a necessity.
That’s what most breakup survivors find out the hard way.
Very often after weeks of trying to be friends with their Ex, and suffering through pain and humiliation.
But can it also be a weapon to get back the Ex? Is it ok to still have hope?
Today's question is from Daniel, who wants to know the answer to these exact questions.
Can we get our Ex back with No-Contact?
Can we?
Please read on.
Eddie, I'm on Day 25 of NC, this is Day 39 of the breakup.
Long story short, one day we were looking at rings together and talking excitedly about marriage, then the next she broke things off, and her reasoning sounded a lot like cold feet, jitters, deep-seated emotional issues like fear of abandonment, intimacy, and commitment.
It's basically her issues and not mine.
I managed to avoid the usual mistakes of begging and groveling to take me back and not giving her her space.
I'm doing NC because it's ultimately about me and healing, not about winning her back. But emotionally, I want to reconcile and want her back.
In your opinion, will I give up this hope over time as her radio silence continues, and do you advocate NC as the only possible route to reconciliation?
I am having a real rough time accepting the relationship is over. Emotionally it's like she flipped a switch. And I realize NC prevents me from saying and doing things now I will later regret.
Dear Daniel,
First of all – I know exactly where you are coming from.
Two of the most hurtful things during a breakup are the feelings of being blindsided and suddenly alone, as well as the crushed plans you’ve had together for the future.
“What the hell just happened?” , you ask yourself.
Our mind usually reacts with numbness. You find yourself in the middle of the “denial-stage.”
Somehow you make it through the days, and at one point sooner or later you make an important realization, (if you’re lucky) – I can’t go on like this.
I can’t keep contact with them and at the same time heal.
So you go No-Contact.
Wise decision.
But does No-Contact mean giving up the hope of getting back together? And better yet, is No-Contact a way to reconciliation?
Let me tell you this right away – the hope of getting back together is deeply wired into you.
It’s what the heart says.
Now, usually, I always recommend to listen to your heart, but NOT this time.
No.
You must know this – someone who just went through a recent breakup isn’t thinking straight.
They think like a brain damaged, love-blind fool, (sorry to sound so harsh, but it's a good metaphor).
All they care about is getting back to the times as they used to be.
The friendship, the love, the understanding, the nearness.
But the head knows better. It shows problems that existed in the relationship, the bad sides of the Ex, the fact that what once is broken rarely gets fixed again to what it was before.
All this knows the head.
But unfortunately not the heart.
No-Contact is the way of listening to the head.
It is doing what is best for YOU as a person.
Will it get your Ex back?
To be honest, it is very unlikely.
Sorry for speaking it out loud, I know this hurts.
There were reasons for breaking up, and they still exist. They won’t vanish after no contact.
But the HOPE will be present for some time.
It ‘s nice to know and to accept that and to know where it’s coming from.
Eventually it will fade, and the heart will look for new ways.
And that's when healing truly begins when we fully accept and take responsibility for what happened.
Only then can we learn from the experience and grow with it.
Everyone who just started No-Contact will have a hard bumpy road ahead.
You will struggle, fall and stand up again. You will encounter obstacles, road blocks that you must avoid.
Your Ex may try to contact you, your Ex is a co-worker, you have kids together, you will miss them, the temptation of contacting will be almost unbearable.
It will be difficult, maybe the most difficult thing you've done, but it's so worth it.
It's so worth it.
No-Contact will cut your healing time to a fraction.
It's true. I know this from my own experience and from coaching so many clients.
My advice to you Daniel is to NOT give in to your emotions. They are sending a false signal.
Listen to your head, remember the “bad times,” and try not to idealize your relationship.
Take it day-by-day, week-by-week.
And one day you will suddenly feel MUCH better. Just like you flipped a switch.
Promise.
Do you think that no-contact is a way of getting the Ex back? Please share your thoughts in the comment section below.
Your friend,
Eddie Corbano
Hi I met a guy he took me in date v had sex all good bt he was nt ready in for a relationship.v share amazing chemistry all good bt he used to keep playing hot n cold n somehow I felt that he is just in coz of sex..I was never ready for open relationship bt got so much in to him that said yes n coz of this I think he took me for granted..things went bad n v stopped talking..v go in same dance class so there he talked me only twice in 15 days no message no cl no asking out nothing.from 1 common friend I got to know that he is dating somebody else too..so i got panicked n put my anger in Side n texted him,he told me he met someone n wants to Gv try there,I was heart broken coz I was just angry with him was waiting for my man to step up instead of that he found someone else..I tried to make him understand bt all in vain.he told me he is deleting my no.n wl never contact me n I should also do so,so I left things n tried to move on.aft a 15 days I got his text that he brokeup wd new girl n wants to meet me(get intimate)I said no for it n gave reason that u ditched me I can’t trust u again..he pursued me just for 2 days n got angry again..this time also he is nt committing to me as he says he can’t date anybody till 2015 (bt he ditched me for another girl n he was dating her)well I told him v can be in touch bt nt intimate for sure n now coz u chose someone else over me so no chance for open relationship at all coz it’s nt worth..he didn’t say sorry to me even once n I don’t know if he is guilty or no..so again he told me to delete his no.n nt to be in touch…aft 2 days of this conversation his b’day was there n I wishes him a simple b’day message on whatsapp ..immediate he replied” who is this” ,I didn’t reply anything n aft 5 minute he sent a “thanks message” well I was hurt that he deleted my no.bt thing is when u send message on whatsapp then receiver always get message by ur phone name so I understood that he is playing mind game or just
want to hurt me …don’t know y he is behaving like a jerk..what should I do..did he really delete my no or just playing wd me..do u think he will ever understand my value n wl come back to me or should I move on..will NC help me to get him back at all…still having hopes..plz help
I started the NC when me and my ex broke up 7 weeks ago. I have not begged, called, texted, I have to much self respect for that but I am having a hard time moving on, getting pass the pain this relationship cause. I found this site yesterday and I am reading every article. I am already feeling better. I realize the reason I wasn’t healing getting pass the pain was because I wanted my ex back now I know that isn’t want I need or want, he walked away, he didn’t think enough of the relationship to work it out, so why would I want him back, he gave up on us so now its time I let go. There is an article on this site, that brought up these points and man did that article hit home. I will learn and grow from this experience.
Kudos to your high self-esteem and strength! Keep it up, you will certainly get through this. All the best!
Hi everybody and especially FermF 🙂
We all are more or less on the same boat with the break ups.
I believe everything happens for a reason (even though it is difficult to convince myself from time to time why it happened and how I wish I could change it!).
I mean some of you might have read my stories here.
I was good with NC and somehow broke the rule and hit the bottom hard.
Now I am back with it again and I will stay strong to enjoy my new life as a single lady 🙂
I wish you the best of everything and please be strong and stay NC!!
I have broken the rule and regretted hell! so trust me, you do not want to go there!
WE CAN DO IT!
Wishing you a wonderful (or horrible as in fun way) Halloween,
your SadFace (soon to be happy!)
OK, ex and I broke up 149 days ago. It was long distance as I’m in Afghanistan. Since the break up, the longest we went with no talking was 3 days. Constant calls/skype/text/email. He said, “I love you, I miss you, I can’t wait to see you again.” That was our last conversation. Four days later he told me he was beginning a new relationship…went NC for 15 days. Guess what I just found out…he is married to the girl he cheated on me with 149 days ago. MARRIED…to a woman he met less than 6 months ago. Wow! I was so mad and hurt. I demanded an apology for dragging me through hell for the past 5 months. He refused to apologize. He said the last 5 months was me refusing to let go…he was just trying to spare my feelings while I was here. I waited so long for that apology…it never came. I wante the apology to forgive him…then I realized I can’t forgive someone that’s not sorry. And, honestly, everything he did to me was done because I allowed it. Everyone time he said “I love you and can’t wait to hold you again” I melted…and I got my hopes up. I had been waiting on the text from him giving me the apology that I so desparately wanted…but it was never going to come. I realized it was ME that owed me an apology. So I sent myself a text apologizing for allowing him to do that to me. At first I felt so stupid apologizing to myself…but once I got going…i couldn’t stop. It felt so much better. If it felt so good to be with Mr. Wrong…imagine how great being with Mr. Right is going to feel.
Loving me,
Thank you so much for sharing.. you inspired me with your story. And I even liked the name you have selected for yourself here.. We really should know our value and love ourselves. We should NEVER depend on someone else to find happiness.
Guys- i am finishing my 60 days no contact tomorrow. I am doing much better but when will i just stop thinking about him. I am tired of him now. Why doesn’t he f@%k off now from my mind and heart. I do not want him in my life ever.
Been 3 days shy of six months here ,I keep wondering that myself I don’t feel any stronger or I’m less pain and trust me I’ve tried everything uve been working out three times a day I date I go out I take classes but he’saways on my mind every damn minute …I hope its soon I know my feelings for him is blocking my mojo but we cant help how we feel
I felt this way about someone 5 years ago… I was completely in love with them… I used to go as long as I could without contacting them, maybe a month, 2 months and then I managed over a year. After a year I contacted them and they were really pleased to hear from me and had just split up from their ‘good friend’.. Well we started contacting each other and eventually met and got intimate and had a nice evening. After we did stay in touch for a couple of weeks but he started pulling away again and made it up with his ‘good friend’… who I’m sure he was/is in love with… The thing is if someone doesn’t want you they don’t want you but I would say no contact works the longer you leave it. It worked for me after a year even if it did make me realise what an arsehole he is.. I’m completely over it now but I think him keep rejecting me did help it eventually sink in lol.. I feel and understand all of your pain.
Su, its probably only time and maybe someone new that will help.. Its hard with someone new though especially if you don’t think they are as good as your ex..
I’ve been separated from my ex for eight months now. I’m not so heart broke but still not over him. I would freak out on him, say demeaning things over text messages until one day he called me to ask me if I knew why? I wasn’t accepting the fact that it’s over? He said it was because I didnt like how it ended. This made me really think and deep down, I knew he was right. I have more in the relationship in the four years we were together and when it ended, I was devastated. He lied, cheated, and never trusted me and would always question why I loved him. He never contacted me on his own unless he was drunk or when he answered my text messages. I finally had a chance to sit down with him in August and realized I wasn’t missing him, it was the things we did together and thinking he was the only happiness I knew, making him of more value than myself. I started journaling, meditation, and focused on letting to know myself, and the two times he tried to reconcile, I knew deep down, I didn’t need him even though I wanted to be with him. I finally reached a point where? I still miss him but, my standards and values of being who I am is much stronger, and he doesn’t deserve my love or deserve to be in my life. I fell in love with him but he wasn’t there to catch me when I fell apart. His actions spoke louder than his words and that was the hardest lesson i learned. I hope you will seek within you what you value in him. I sure did, and now he wants me back but I can’t love a broken man if he can’t help himself enough to believe in love
Good one – “Loving me”! I agree with you.
My ex didnt want to reconcile at all. And that hurts more than anything.
It was a week since I called him, and then I lost all control and called him again this past weekend, and now I feel like crap all over again.
I’m going to try this 60 day detox, I block his phone number so we both can’t contact each other. I am serious about getting rid of these feelings once and for all.. he has moved on already, and it hasn’t even been a month.
I know for a fact that he is in a relationship with a woman he met on a dating site, but he does not know that I know this. However, when I asked him tonight if there will ever be a chance for us again, he wont come out and tell me that he is seeing someone. And yet, Several weeks ago he told me that he needed space, but within that time, he met someone on September 12th, and was still telling me he needed space.
My difficulty is that we have 2 kids together and they do not know we have separated so there is always some sort of contact. Any thoughts?
Hi guys, today is my 38th day since the break up, and day 8 NC, i was wondering if there still a chance that we could get back together if the primary reason why we broke up was due to stress and family problems…i begged twice before the nc but nothing happened…i was quite confused if there’s still hope..we’ve been together for 5 years and he is my first boyfriend..but he kept on telling me that it doesnt matter if it is 5 years..pls reply
I have been feeling good between day 30-40. But as I approach completion of day 60 (on day 56) I am started to feel terrible again. May be because, my ex didnt contact even once. Hope I am back to normal again.
Hi guys,
Recently, I am somehow not following strictly to the rules of NC and do ocassionally what I feel like to doing.. (big sigh) and I know this is horrible but I somehow just have to do that I guess.
It has been 6 months or so sicne me and mx ex broke up and yes I am still not over him and worried that I will feel like this for a long long time…I am scared that it will take many years or forever.. 🙁
I try to bring myself in a good mood but I somehow come back to the sad phase. Stupid me. 🙁
Its been a few months now and after learning what I know now about the ex I am glad things ended as they did. I can’t fault anyone for the way they are but thank god I got away when I did. Call and text blocking I’m sure helped along with getting a new number. I might not trust anyone for a while but at least the lab test came back negative. I’m completely over her, except for the trusting anyone ever again. That will take time and the right person. Good luck and I can swear by the no contact rule is the best way to rid yourself any garbage. Don
I’m happy for you Donald, I can’t wait to feel what you feel…..I want to desperately get rid of my ex out of mind and heart so bad that I can taste it. All the games, the lies, the broken promises, the deceit and the procrastination….He pretty much did to me, what he did to his Son’s mother cheated!!!! Garbage is the best way to put it
I want to thank everyone for the support they and this site gave me from the beginning of the end. I have to unsubscribe now since every email to updates brings back the images of her, the person I want to forget, someone that I hope someday will get the help she needs to have a normal life.
I at first did not listen to the advice of the No Contact Rule and each time I was hurt more and more. I don’t enjoy being hurt so I move on live my life the way I was before, it might be lonely but it’s better than being torn apart. I have confidence the right person will just show up in my life it wont be perfect but it will be right for me and her.
I wish all the best and hope you can move on, be open for the right person to enter your life.
I know the feeling six months no contact I’m still hurtin as.much as day one AMD I don’t know why ….yes I do I love him. He’s the one ,I ended a 20 year marriage about three years ago and I didn’t hurt a fraction of what this has.I do want to stop it though this is brutal.
Sadface, Please seek professional help if you are having difficulties. You don’t have to face it on your own. Please remember that you are worthy of happiness. Hope you feel better soon!
FermF
Jackie– that sounds like my story. My ex didnt make any attempt to reconcile, whereas, i have been working on us for 6 years nurturing this relationship. He never took any initiative. This time when i gave up, he gave up too. Better that he showed his true colors now rather than going ahead and getting married to this baseless person. I have been made to feel guilty. While breaking up, i apologized to him for my wrong doing and this person behaves as if he has been right all through. God, why did i apologized to him.
I am on no contact rule for 56 days now and i do not want to see him ever. God make me immune to this person. Please help me god.
I just got out of a 2 and 1/2 year relationship. Neither of us really broke up with each other officially but it had been a long time coming. After a pretty big blow out I decided I was done. He texted me once 10 days ago. I never replied. In the past, when we have a fight I’m always the one to cave in, cry, call beg, etc. I refuse to do that this time. So, here I am at 10 days no contact. I’m so hurt that he only made one attempt and then can just let go so easily. I never gave up on him. I can’t stand thinking about him moving on and fantasizing about him happy that I’m gone. This sucks. I need strength!
I know how you feel that sounds familiar I’m at 6 months and I’m in the exact same place you are I just can’t seem to get over it I pray it will end and I pray it ends quickly for you its no way to be
Eddie- My 50th day of NC just got over. I am doing much better now. Thanks to NC rule. I am in a different city from where my ex lives now. I recently got a job there and in fact in the same locality. After sitting on the offer for 1.5 months and much of thinking, i took it up.
It keep coming to my mind that when i shift there in another 2 months, i will always know that my ex is somewhere in the next building. What if I see him and see him with another girl. I want to just get over him as I am tired of thinking about him. Why has he taken over me? Every breath that i take, he is there occupying my mind and i am now tired. I have given up on myself. He has moved over and why am i stuck there 🙁
I am ready to do anything to move on and not think about him. Please help.
Su, i broke the NC Rule and today, im back to Day 1… This is awful… I regret breaking the rule… It is true that it is not worth breaking the rule…
Anne- how are you doing?
Dear All,
After reading all your stories, I completely empathize with each and everyone of you. Having undergone a very painful break-up myself, I completely understand how traumatic the loss is. More often even the more than the break-up itself, the death of shared dreams and a future is far more painful.
But I guess life is still worth living after all and it is up to us to discover our self-worth. I am still struggling to come to terms with my own heartbreak. It is getting better with each passing day even though there are many dark moments in between.
I wish everyone of you a speedy recovery and my prayers are always with you. Take care everyone and get well soon.
FermF
Yes, it is so difficult with NC..
and I must confess, I went weak and texted him but then I kind of cut it again..
What I want to say is that
DO NOT GO WEAK AND CONTACT THE PERSON.
The moment, you do, you will regret. Trust me I did it (and I know it is such a shame I was doing so well.. 🙁 at least that was how I felt).
But I hope we will go be happy once again with ourselves and with someone better later 🙂
Have a good evening everyone!
/ SadFace
Hi SadFace
It does get better as time goes on….but there are still many, many times – just when I think I am doing well and I am over him – that memories come flooding back to haunt and taunt me. I too am sick and tired of thinking about him, I too am sick and tired of him occupying my mind and I too am sick and tired of having those down days where I miss him so much it hurts!
You say “Please help!”…I think if there was anyone out there that could help, we would not be typing all these things here. The point is, the only one that can help the hurting individual is the individual him/herself.
I have been on so many sites and doing so much research and I figured out that I am the only one in control of myself, my feelings, my hurt, my madness, etc. and I am the only one who can fix this….make it better.
I sooo feel for you and I know exactly what you are going through and how you feel right now but tomorrow is a new day and I live one day at a time…hoping each new day will heal me just a little bit more than the day before.
I am in no contact still….I will never contact him again….he knows how to reach me if he wanted to contact me….I don’t think he ever will contact me and I am learning to accept that as hard as it is.
I found an article that I often refer to and read as to why SILENCE is so important…maybe this will help you :
1. It will show him that you are a woman of high value – not desperate or needy and that you can live without him (even if you can’t and don’t feel that way now)….it is the impression you are giving him by remaining NC.
2. It will show him what he is missing by way of contrast – basically it forces him to now experience life without you….firstly he has you and then he doesn’….and the starker this contrast is, the more he may feel your absence and may in fact even miss you (but that is not a guarantee obviously).
3. It will force him to think about his options seriously – as long as you stay in touch he knows he can have you back at any time…and therefore, there will no urgency or even need from his side to reverse his decision to break up with you in the first place.
4. It will empower you – although you have no control over his decision to break up with you, you can control what happens next….you are the SOLE person capable of ‘enforcing’ the consequences of his decision…it says “You broke up with me, so now live without me in your life – it’s over!!”
5. It will make him doubt his future options – he knows that you would never stay in touch if you did not have feelings for him and/or if you were not interested in getting back with him, etc. which means he may think “Let me look around and see what options are out there. Maybe I can find someone better than her…if SHE wants me so badly I must be great and there are much hotter girls out there who more than likely will want me too. If things don’t work out, well I’ll just go back to her for now till someone new crops up” – I am NOT saying all men are thinking like this, but I do believe thoughts like this will cross his mind if you STAY in touch – it’s an ego thing! But if you cut him off completely (NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER) he will not know whether he just threw away the best girl he will ever meet in his life and creating this DOUBT in his mind is PRICELESS!!…you are back in control.
Stay strong and good luck
Marce
In reality they couldn’t care less if we go no contact because they’re not contacting us either.its been 6 months mine hasn’t peeped a word he’s moved on I guess and is probably happy I haven’t tried to talk to him. I still cry daily I’m still so in love with him I miss him terribly but the reality is he’s not returning to me and I’m trying to face it but its so hard . The hardest thing is believing all I feel is a waste of time , its beyond our control how we feel and that’s what’s the worst part ,theyer happy go lucky while were so miserable.I hope everyday ill stop loving him ,I hope he will return ect.ect.ect .but in reality I’m a mess I exist right now and that’s it I exercize like crazy I go out on the town basically live but this isn’t living . I pray for the day I’m over it but its not coming anytime soon ,you feel what you feel so don’t be too hard on yourself its just how it is.
You know what Marce,
Those are amazing words. Me and my ex broke up 4 months ago (LDR). We maintained contact the ENTIRE time, and I’ve done EVERYTHING wrong. But…he’s been saying, “I love you, I miss you, I can’t wait to hold you again…bla bla bla” Then, four days after he said it last, he sent me a text saying he wanted to move on. WHAT!?!?!?!? Soooo, of course, I called…he’s with someone new. Been with her the entire time we were broke up. :o( Ugh! He is in love and they are talking marriage. Really dude? You told me four days ago you loved me and we were planning a trip for him to see me when I return from Afghanistan in Dec…he tells me he loves me but is talking marriage with her…C’mon man!
I completely cut contact. It’s only been 5 days, but let me tell you…every day is easier. I have rough mornings because for the past 1.5 years, every time I woke, the first thing I did was text him. The past two days are the first time in that long that I have not wanted to.
Also, I did buy Eddie’s audio…At first I sat there daydreaming while listening to it…but I listen to it every night when I’m going to sleep. I truly believe it is working. If nothing else, It gives me something else to focus on for 27 minutes. :o)
Your words are a reminder that NC is the way to go. After I found out he’s been “in love” with someone else…I don’t want him back…but I DO want to know that he thinks he made a mistake…which is my ego getting in the way of progress…so, I’ve blocked his ability to contact me again.
Also…not a super religious person, but I have turned to God on this one. Not for us to get back together….but for the strength to see everything for what it really is. God is listening, and he is helping. Ol dude is an idiot, and I am gem. He may not regret it today…but he will regret losing me, and when that time comes, I will have already moved on to something much better!
Hang in there ladies…we’ll all get through this (but, you have to really want to get through this)…you have to want to get over him…not get back together with him.
Oh…and I haven’t really cried since the first day of NC. I guess, after four months of lies, I am just exhausted.
Everyday for four months I felt that pending feeling of dread, wondering if I was going to lose him. I don’t feel that anymore. I lost him, but honestly…I think he lost me…so I’m trying to see the bright side of things. 🙂
Thank you Marce for your sweet words.
I feel much better after reading your article there.
Well I broke up with my ex due to LDR and it has been 6 months since we broke up and I had no contact for nearly 2 months and I went weak and now Im back and I am feeling weaker than before as everybody seems to move on while I am still feeling like stuck in my past. It is scary but I guess I should move on and save myself and be in control!
I mean I also agree with ie below but then it is easier to think like Marce than that way. I mean we all need to come to the terms and learn that the other has moved on and so should we…
Hope this awful time ends at some point…
Wish you a great Thursday and weekend.
Don’t feel bad about yourself if you went weak, Sadface! We are humans after all and tend to make mistakes. My ex contacted me and I replied and almost immediately regretted it.
Now I am back to NC again. I have blocked him from my chat. This will prevent him from contacting me and give me the strength to maintain NC. I am getting more and more emotionally detached from him apart from few bad days in between.
I guess if this dark time is over only brighter days lie ahead. I wish the same for you and the rest of the bravehearts in this forum. Hang in there everyone! We deserve only the very best!
Thank you FermF.
I hope I will be strong again and will try to work harder to move on!
Your words are making to get up on my own again!! I will try!!
Have a good evening, or morning.
Cheers,
SadFace
My 43rd day! This day is just not getting over!
I’m on day 31 of NC and day 47 since the breakup. My story is one of a woman who went from a family destroying person to a born again Christian when she hit rock bottom. I was there for both sides with a six month breakup from the evil and good woman. We had another disagreement about her choice one weekend of herself over family and at the same time we found out her 12 year old son inappropriately touched my 9 year old daughter. She gave me 24 hours of support and then decided to cut and run with her son leaving my family devastated and no closure with me and her son or my daughter who loves her. We had a trip planned and she emailed me on day 16 of NC about still wanting to pay for my rental car even though she was not going, it was a B.S. letter and I did not reply. I have had nothing since and will continue for 60 if it kills me. I hurt and cry and up and down, day to day, night to night. This is by far the toughest thing I have ever did. I tried to ask her 3 times to marry me, each time she ruined the chance and the words never came out of my mouth. Logic is coming above emotion for the first time since this happened. My fear is she still has my email and I cringe each email I get to see if its from her. Should I delete or hopefully have the power to not reply if she does?
Hi su, yes…i did that last night and you know what? I went out and met with a GF last night and i feel beter today. Somehow, I can push thoughts about my Ex and concentrate on work. thank you Su…i will keep coming back to this site and read…this site is very encouraging… 🙂
Anne- so good to hear that. Your hardwork to moveon also motivates me. Somehow have been feeling bit down but reading your msg makes me stick to NC rule. I will also buy big bang theory. Great idea!
Hi su, i am on my 2nd season! Yay!… Whenever i feel like contecting my Ex-Jerk, i always visit this sight and read the responses here… This is like a support group for me, like AA for the broken-hearted and addicted to the exs… And somehow, after reading all the blogs here, i feel encouraged to continue with NC… It’s my 9th day today.. Tomorrow will be the 10th… Yay!!!!
Su, this too shall pass… That day will come when we totally dont have to follow NC rule anymore because we just dont care about those guys… Hang in there! (Hugs)…
Anne– how is it going for you?
Almost at the 6 months point cried myself to sleep last night ,cried this morning its been a painful few days hope it passes soon , this is not how I’m meant to live
Anne – I totally understand that! So why dont you tell me what you like doing – Singing, watching movie, cleaning the house? Why dont you go out with your friends for a movie! Do me a favor drag yourself out of the home today and stay in the company of friends.
Su, this no contact rule is very difficult to follow… 🙁
I say it has been over 3 weeks now and I have lost count of the days, but to get to this point was very difficult. In the beginning I had not used the no contact rule and had a very difficult time. I was worried about her and would text or talk on the phone to see if she were okay. I would reply to her emails and texts, I did change my phone number but her name is still on my phone also, it was only making it more difficult but continuing to respond and communicate with her made it worse, I could imagine for both of us to get past this and move on with our lives. I still think of her after 3 weeks but the memories are fading as a summer romance would in time. I would not take her back, but still care that she is alright.
It’s been five months for me and we havent spoken at all and its still very fresh and painful for me as for him I’m sure he’s moved on and it kills me. I pray to stop crying and loving him I’ve dated ect. Nothing works hopefully month six will bring a end to it
Well I am going nearly 2 months without contact and yes..I am still having these feelings and all too. Don’t worry, you are not alone! I think the thought of him moving on so much and I am stuck here kinda makes it worse. Hopefully we will all be happy again.
Happy Friday x
I bought the first season of Big Bang Theory last night…they’re so funny and goofy…I laughed so hard and somehow it made me forget the Ex… 🙂
ie….I still hurt….been over 18months….but a bit better than I was….:(
I hope I don’t feel this way 18 months after my heart goes out to you
Hi Donald, there’s no use to change my number because I know his number by heart and i hate it!!!!
ive done my research as to how to forget information stored in your brain… LOL 🙂
I have the same issue with my iphone but last night Apple upgraded their IOS and the upgrade includes option to erase the phone stored in your phone’s memory… 🙂
Hi Donald, im just on Day 3 and it is very difficult… This phone of mine does not totally erase the person’s contact number. It stays on the phone’s memory… I am kdding myself. There is no need to change my number. He is not going to contact me anyway… After i get over him, i will not date for a while… It’s better to be single until i find the right person…