Break Up and Divorce No Contact Help: How To Stay Strong And Not Text Your Ex

No Contact Help: How To Stay Strong And Not Text Your Ex

Maintaining No Contact with your Ex-Partner is probably the hardest thing you’ll ever do.

To make it easier, you try three things that will help you resist the temptation, stay strong, and just get through it.

No Contact Help - Let's survive the 60 days together
No Contact Help – Let's survive the 60 days together

Believe me, I know how horrible this is.

You wake up in the morning, and the pain rolls over you like a tsunami. All you want to do is text your Ex and make this all go away.

But you know that you can’t. It would only make things so much worse.

As a result, you are confused, frightened, and just don’t understand WHY all this is happening.

I know, I’ve been there.

But you are not helpless.

You can make it through and I will show you how.

Why You Are Struggling With No Contact

You have to accept that you are suffering from a form of addiction.

Therefore, the concept of No Contact after a relationship breakup is very similar to alcohol or drug rehab:

Avoid the very thing that you are addicted to.

In other words, get your butt as far away from your Ex as you can.

You need time to heal and detox from your Ex.

I’m sure you are having a rough time with this. I certainly did. It's hard.

That's why before we continue, please make sure that you read my extensive guide about how to practically apply the rules to your situation:

No Contact Rule After a Breakup: The Definitive Guide

It’ll help.

“No Contact Is Killing Me.”

There are times when you miss your Ex so much that it hurts. Picking up the phone and texting or calling them would be so easy, wouldn’t it?

But would it also ease your pain or help your recovery?

No, it won’t.

Trust me, it won't.

On the contrary, actually.

Let me tell you something:

There is NOTHING your Ex can say to you in a phone call or text (or personally) that would reduce your pain in the long run.

They can only make it worse.

You DON’T want to know how they are doing (it is more than you can handle).

Also, NOTHING that you do or say will impress or endear them to you.

This is a fact that is very difficult to accept.

How the No Contact Rule Works

Just to reiterate:

No Contact means entirely NO CONTACT with your Ex, either personally, by phone, through social media, email, or short message.

It means NO Facebook stalking, NO phone harassing and NO parking/driving in front of their house.

Big NO, NO, NO to any of that.

You do this for a full 60 days.

(If you need daily motivation for doing this, you can subscribe to my free newsletter.)

But what do you do when it’s really getting tough, when missing your Ex becomes so unbearable that you pick up the phone and are about to call?

No Contact Help: How to Get Through

Three proven methods will help you stay strong during that time:

1. Distraction

The human brain can only concentrate on one thing at a time. So, if you are about to contact your Ex, have a list of prepared distractions ready that you can put into action immediately.

The best options are things where your brain is involved, where it has to figure out something. For example, do research on a specific topic, take quizzes, try puzzles, etc.

The more work your brain has to do, the better the distraction.

2. Call a Friend

When you are close to calling your Ex, call a close friend or a relative instead — a so-called No-Contact Buddy.

They will talk you out of it, as well as some sense into you.

3. Post HERE!

Let ME be your No-Contact Buddy.

Post in the comment section below:

  • Your No Contact Count (in days).
  • Everything you want to say to your Ex — just get it out of your system! (No profanities please.)

How to Stay Strong During the No Contact Period

DO NOT CONTACT that Ex, put it all here! Unload all your anger and longing into our comment section.

By sharing your No Contact struggle with the LovesAGame Community, two things will happen:

  1. You will find that the need for contacting your Ex will be much less.
  2. The replies of other readers will give you hope and strength.

Having said that, now it’s your turn. Post below and let’s help each other.

Your No-Contact Buddy,
Eddie Corbano

  • Im on day 36 and i thought he would have contacted me by now because we both agreed to 1 month. Im gutted he hasnt contacted me. I feel so broken that he stopped loving me even though he promised to love me forever. I feel ashamed for still crying bitterly at this point, almost everyday. I tried to imagine that he died. He ended things 7mths ago after i had been horrible to him for 2.5 yrs but now i see it and its too late, hes not coming back… i am so tempted to contact him (again) to tell him im still interested but he never initiates the convo… i dont want him to end up leaving in a few yrs time cos its one sided… i wanted to ask how he was able to be so cruel, to another human being?

  • (Day 2 of NC) I would say day 2 or 3 is the hardest because the first day is usually easy to ignore, but waking up the next day is when the real pain starts. My ex and I have been together for 3 years and she eventually fell out of love. I believe it to be because I failed to complete college (got my sh*t together and only have a few weeks left now) and my failure to move past a guy she saw when we took a break last year. I had a bad tendency to be jealous and overbearing due to my newfound insecurities (that’s a LONG story). She eventually said she has had enough and wants to be single. She left me the option to talk to her, see the puppy we got, and maybe one day we’d work again. However, she stated in months and didn’t want to put an exact date on trying again. A couple of days ago she said she’s truly moved on even though it’s only been a couple of weeks (she did mention it was fast, but it has been a long time coming). Whenever I did take her option of texting here and there I would naturally drift into getting back together and would end up being desperate and begging. I ended up deleting her number, writing it down and giving it to a friend so I can text her in 30 days. I’m just trying to remain strong, and continue my degree in hopes that with my genuine effort to change and be a more responsible and confident guy she can see that I’ve made changes for the better. Still stings when I create scenarios in my head of her moving on with someone else, even if that isn’t true, and she’s even confirmed she isn’t talking or interested in talking with anyone.

    Gotta love being in the withdrawal of love.

  • As i type this with tears in my eyes and a heart ready to explode from pain and regret, this is what happened..
    I broke up with him because his behaviour and interest towards me had changed and I felt like I’m no longer loved at all but i still love him so much. I tried to talk to him about it but he is too egocentric. He did not even try to convince that he still loves me and just kept quiet ever since i initiated the breakup. I was hoping he would say something anything even if he assured me that what i was feeling is true that he does not have feelings for me anymore so I can juat move on with my life. I want to text him so so bad so that we can fix things but im afraid that he’ll just ignore me which will be the death of me. I love him and my heart just does not want to let go no matter how much I try

    • Don’t worry dear you will be fine and happy… Just remember it’s all temporary

  • Damn. Day 1 (again). Have tried NC four times now. Brutal. It’s been 5.5 months after we dated and lived together for 7 years. I want her back very badly – is me going NC and gaining emotional independence the best way to do this now? After having moved to a different city and starting my life over (again)?

  • This is my first breakup. And day 1 of no contact. We were high school sweethearts and dated for 5 years. 4 of those years were long distance. I didn’t want to do the distance anymore because it tore me apart during the past 4 years and it seemed like more and more distance was getting added. In the year 2019 I only saw him 36 out of 365 days. Since he is graduating and I have an additional 2 years of school left, I figured it would be his turn to follow me until I graduate by moving closer. But there weren’t any jobs nearby. Only 4hrs away which is half the distance from his school but it’s still distance. So I ended the relationship. And now all I feel is regret and that I didn’t make the right decision. Maybe if I waited those last 2 years we would be together indefinitely. Maybe I jumped the gun too early. We still love each other and he never treated me badly. It’s just the distance was too much and it didn’t seem like he wanted to end the distance.

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