Break Up and Divorce No Contact Help: How To Stay Strong And Not Text Your Ex

No Contact Help: How To Stay Strong And Not Text Your Ex

Maintaining No Contact with your Ex-Partner is probably the hardest thing you’ll ever do.

To make it easier, you try three things that will help you resist the temptation, stay strong, and just get through it.

No Contact Help - Let's survive the 60 days together
No Contact Help – Let's survive the 60 days together

Believe me, I know how horrible this is.

You wake up in the morning, and the pain rolls over you like a tsunami. All you want to do is text your Ex and make this all go away.

But you know that you can’t. It would only make things so much worse.

As a result, you are confused, frightened, and just don’t understand WHY all this is happening.

I know, I’ve been there.

But you are not helpless.

You can make it through and I will show you how.

Why You Are Struggling With No Contact

You have to accept that you are suffering from a form of addiction.

Still thinking of your Ex? Click here to learn WHY and what you can do about it (FREE Breakup Survival Email Mini-Course).

Therefore, the concept of No Contact after a relationship breakup is very similar to alcohol or drug rehab:

Avoid the very thing that you are addicted to.

In other words, get your butt as far away from your Ex as you can.

You need time to heal and detox from your Ex.

I’m sure you are having a rough time with this. I certainly did. It's hard.

That's why before we continue, please make sure that you read my extensive guide about how to practically apply the rules to your situation:

No Contact Rule After a Breakup: The Definitive Guide

It’ll help.

“No Contact Is Killing Me.”

There are times when you miss your Ex so much that it hurts. Picking up the phone and texting or calling them would be so easy, wouldn’t it?

But would it also ease your pain or help your recovery?

No, it won’t.

Trust me, it won't.

On the contrary, actually.

Let me tell you something:

There is NOTHING your Ex can say to you in a phone call or text (or personally) that would reduce your pain in the long run.

They can only make it worse.

You DON’T want to know how they are doing (it is more than you can handle).

Also, NOTHING that you do or say will impress or endear them to you.

This is a fact that is very difficult to accept.

How the No Contact Rule Works

Just to reiterate:

No Contact means entirely NO CONTACT with your Ex, either personally, by phone, through social media, email, or short message.

It means NO Facebook stalking, NO phone harassing and NO parking/driving in front of their house.

Big NO, NO, NO to any of that.

You do this for a full 60 days.

(If you need daily motivation for doing this, you can subscribe to my free newsletter.)

But what do you do when it’s really getting tough, when missing your Ex becomes so unbearable that you pick up the phone and are about to call?

No Contact Help: How to Get Through

Three proven methods will help you stay strong during that time:

1. Distraction

The human brain can only concentrate on one thing at a time. So, if you are about to contact your Ex, have a list of prepared distractions ready that you can put into action immediately.

The best options are things where your brain is involved, where it has to figure out something. For example, do research on a specific topic, take quizzes, try puzzles, etc.

The more work your brain has to do, the better the distraction.

2. Call a Friend

When you are close to calling your Ex, call a close friend or a relative instead — a so-called No-Contact Buddy.

They will talk you out of it, as well as some sense into you.

3. Post HERE!

Let ME be your No-Contact Buddy.

Post in the comment section below:

  • Your No Contact Count (in days).
  • Everything you want to say to your Ex — just get it out of your system! (No profanities please.)

How to Stay Strong During the No Contact Period

DO NOT CONTACT that Ex, put it all here! Unload all your anger and longing into our comment section.

By sharing your No Contact struggle with the LovesAGame Community, two things will happen:

  1. You will find that the need for contacting your Ex will be much less.
  2. The replies of other readers will give you hope and strength.

Having said that, now it’s your turn. Post below and let’s help each other.

Your No-Contact Buddy,
Eddie Corbano

  • He told me all the right things. How he was in love with me etc. Made me fall head over heels with him. Then started to pull back, got back together with his ex but still kept me dangling on a string for years for friends with benefits. Our relationship has been downgraded again and again until our current ‘friendship’. Friends don’t meet once every three months for an hour at lunchtime, hiding away like I’m some dirty little secret. I loved him completely and he doesn’t understand how much it was hurting. So I told him I couldn’t be friends with him and to give me space. Three weeks later and I want the rush of excitement again. Takes all my effort to remind myself of the crash that will inevitably result when I’m disappointed once again. I’ve lost my self esteem, self respect and trust in men. But he’s my ‘friend’. If friends can destroy you like that who needs enemies.

  • I’m dying and crying over contacting my ex. He is absolutely no good for me and i think it was love, but also addiction.
    He’s huge,in terrible health, an alcoholic to the point of blackout and warped memories, abusive in all forms, a cheater, narcissistic, a terrible listener, racist, sexist, the quickest temper I’ve ever seen. Loves to see me in pain, make me jealous, lies and believes what he says probably because of alcohol.

    who i met was fun, kind, playful, incredibly thoughtful, with a warped sense of humor like me.

    Everyone is floored that I was so physically attracted to him as 6′ 3″ 350lbs, in terrible shape. I’m 5’2 118lbs, blonde, ‘cute face’ can be hot if I do my hair and makeup. I was and still am attracted to him though, I liked his face and even though he wasn’t really endowed he fit me ‘perfectly’ in that way.

    In one text he’s missing me- 2 minutes later I’m a lying bitch like all the others. He sent me a picture of a naked women (she was gross) then said he hasn’t been with anyone. he made her leave because he was crying over me and just wanted to make me jealous.

    I called bs and blocked him, but right now it hurts so bad. I won’t contact him, I just want my brain to catch up to my heart. Fuck it hurts.

  • been there 3 times says:

    no contact is very VERY hard,, I am one month in, and while it is getting easier, its by far very painful to me. i KNOW i did the right thing braking up with her, she was so toxic in the last year, that almost weekly i would say to myself this has to end. i lost who i was trying to please her, it was so one sided. the hardest thing as i am sure we are all dealing with, is we see the good in the person, we remember the person we admired the most, it is actually a fantasy, we created. when we counter balance those moments of fantasies, without looking at the mountains of hurt, rejection, devaluing, and a constant battle on our self-esteem. i went no contact twice before, and it worked both times. and each time, my ex-gf tried to get me back saying it was a mistake how she treated me, and how in love she really is with me. THANK GOD, by that time i was well into my healing, and told her. all 3 started other relationships, while being with me. YES i saw the signs. i was not hatched out of an egg yesterday. i just kept looking at their good sides.. until i couldn’t take any more of the petty fighting, created to get me to give up. i would even ask, if you want to seek out a new relationship go. if it makes you happy, i will not stand in your way. unfortunately, they wanted the security of me while “TESTING OUT” the new love interest. sounds fair right?? shaking my head is disgust. we had two of the most wonderful years, then little by little it started to change. for the worst, by the end, it was brutal. unlivable. i finally let go. and have to tell you i am a very confident man, yet this woman tried her best, and succeeded on some level to make me question my own sanity. i was so wrapped up in the toxicity, it became normal. again i lost myself, who i was. the clam gentle loving caring compassionate HAPPY person I was, did not exist anymore. because i allowed myself to compromise who i was for her. I could go on and on, but i am sure all who will read his can identify with what i am saying. i have to tell you braking (no contact) is a 100% mistake, most times you either feel so much worse, if you do get back it will still end with you starting from the beginning, getting hurt all over again. or worse it will give them a reason to unload on you, or bash you blaming you for everything. and trust me that is worse… I wish all who read this know, you can do it, you are strong enough, and it will pass. stay away, get the fantasy of the relationship out of your head, and remember for some of the good.. there was a whole lot more, bad… peace to all…

  • I was in a toxic relationship for 7 years. He moved out 4 months ago and we are still going back and forth. It’s been 3 days since we contacted eachother and its killing me. I am addicted and need help. It is taking every inch of my self control to try get to those 60 days.

  • It takes a very strong person to be single. I broke up with my boyfriend 1 year and 8 months ago. October 2018; I met another man and dated briefly, broke up with him in November 2018. It was really a challenge not to go back to him and then I got over it. There are times that I’m really lonely and I think about contacting the boyfriend that I broke up with one year And eight months ago. We dated for six months; he was someone that I had went to school with. He was that weird kid that I met in the seventh grade and we went to school together all the way up to college. He was crazy about me when he first laid eyes on me but I never felt the same way. And then after 32 years; I had read some really good things about him on Facebook. He was not on social media; I googled his name and found his address and I mailed him a Christmas card and told him who I was. He wrote me back. We got reacquainted and became friends and then started dating. He was really a good boyfriend but then I noticed that he had controlling tendencies. He did not respect my boundaries. He became very demanding. I suffer from depression/anxiety and bipolar disorder. There are times that I need some processing time, time to reflect and think about things. And then after a few days; I am good. I tried to explain that to him and he did not respect my boundaries. I broke up with him; he went ballistic and crazy. He really scared me really bad. I have moved twice since the break up and I’m thankful that he does not know where I live. I go to counseling and I told my counselor about what happened and it takes a lot of strength to not contact him when I’m lonely. I have not contacted him. I think about the reasons that I ended the relationship and I also think about how crazy and scary things got when I broke up with him. He turned into this crazy person and because of his actions; I was having nightmares about what he did at the end. He was banging on my door; yelling/screaming and disturbing the peace . When I think of this; there is no way that I’m going to open the door for him to come back into my life. I know that if I should ever contact him; we would be back together. I know he is in love with me and he’s crazy. He’s too crazy for me. I need someone who is emotionally stable. I know that if I give myself time, that the right man probably will come into my life when I least expect it. I go through good days and then the hard days. I’m learning that I’m a very strong person and a survivor.

  • Shattered says:

    We have been on and off for almost 2 years. We reconnected and starting seeing each other for 5 months. He’s inconsistent and I felt it was a one-sided relationship. Barely looked for me or contacted me. I told him several time if didn’t want me in his life I would leave him alone and movement on. He said no, that he wanted/needed me in his life. I finally decided to cut things off. I told him no texts, no phone answer that I didn’t know how long it would take. Two weeks after our fall out he sent me a voice message telling me how much he appreciates me and my patience with him, and that he’s sorry how things went. I replied back a week after telling him how I felt about everything. Two days later he replied back telling me it was good to hear me and my voice, that he doesn’t take me or what I’ve done for him for granted, that he respects our distance and hopes it helps us in the end. I haven’t replied back. It’s been a week. I don’t know how to feel at times. It’s a roller coaster of emotions. During the time we were together he would never tell me those things and now he does. It’s painful because I want him back but at the same time I can’t be nearly him. 🙁

  • Well, I’ve been in no contact for 3 weeks but we’ve been broken up for 2.5 months. We tried to be “friends” after we broke up but it did nothing but make me angry and confused. Anyways, I got rid of all my social media because of her and I’m trying to seperate myself as much as possible and stop myself from lurking. She cheated on me and then told me the reason she did was because she was losing feelings for me and didn’t feel like we “clicked”. Did the whole begging and pleading thing and it did nothing but make myself look stupid and have her tell me to my face again that she didn’t love me. I also found out she’s flirting with other guys so. I feel like the reason I’m suffering so much is because I have insecurity issues and I’ve never had a lot of confidence to begin with, so it sucks that my very first girlfriend had to end like this. Makes me feel like I wasn’t good enough or something. I tried to make her feel as special as possible with surprises and gifts and constant reassurance but I guess it wasn’t good enough.
    Not gonna lie though I’ve felt some improvement from these past 3 weeks. These 3 weeks have been tough because it’s the longest we haven’t been in contact. We texted once or twice a week for the first 2 months and I finally stepped my foot down and decided to not make any contact. It’s helped me analyze everything and helped me understand that it’s officially over and she’s never gonna come back. It’s just kinda hard to get over the fact that she was telling me everyday that she loved me but she actually wanted to be with someone else and was going to breakup with me without me knowing about it. P.S. I found out about the cheating on my own and confronted her about it the day we broke up.
    But anyways, In the past 3 weeks of no contact I’ve found ways to improve myself by losing weight, clearing my skin, going out with my friends more, meeting new people, etc. it helps a lot but it’s not going to completely get your mind off of everything. I don’t have the answer to that yet but I have a good feeling I’ll be getting over it soon. I don’t get angry anymore at the fact she’s talking to other guys, it doesn’t bother me anymore that she cheated on me, and the situation really doesn’t make me mad, I just have trouble getting over my insecurity and confidence issues. But I trust that god has someone out there for me and if you’re reading this sad and depressed just know he has someone out there for you, just be patient. Even if you feel like your ex has moved on before you, just know that it’s not a race and whats yours will come to you. You may feel crushed now but realize that this happened for a reason and it will help you in the long run. This pain is nothing but temporary. If you’ve been dumped, cheated on, betrayed, lied to, or hurt just know that person who hurt you is eventually going to get what they DESERVE. One way or another. Don’t go out of your way to do anything envious or spiteful, continue to focus on yourself and one day this person won’t mean sh*t to you because you’ll be with someone 10x better who’s going to treat you with the proper love and respect you deserve. The person for you is out there just wait on it. I’m not healed completely but when I think of this every night it makes me feel better. Just know you’re not in it alone.

  • my ex is just trying to keep me around in the long run but won’t make up his mind. screw him honestly…

    • same here! but trying to stay strong and not give in, and no contact.

  • I have been married for 20 years I found out that my husband has a child with his mistress. I went into depression anxiety. He still didn’t stop seeing her. He told me he did but that was I lie. He asked me for a divorce. I still see him everyday we have 4 kids together. How do I let him go. How do I stop loving him

  • I messaged my ex on our (would be) anniversary and told her that we were going to get engaged. She told me Happy One Year. I told her that we could’ve fixed our problems through simple communication. She said she loved me but she didn’t want to talk about it because she’s on vacation with her family. I told her whenever she gets back then we’ll talk it over and then she said okay. What do I do now?

  • I’ve been on and off again with my ex. I felt so strong and had no contact with him for about 5 months. Recently in the past couple of days I contacted him and he called me right back. We talked on the phone for an hour and a half. I waited a day , and broke down and called him again. He didn’t answer or text me back and now I feel horrible all over again. I should’ve stuck to my guns and now I feel like I’m repeating the whole process of getting over him again.

  • I have known a girl we are from different countries,
    I love her and more than 19 months I follow her first year we just text and never stay together and going out just at university among others we were together, but she knew that i love her for long term and I wan know her for rest of life. But recently we become more closer we went out start hugging each other and kissing but not lips because she believes that she should find feeling but according all her behavior she has feelings she constantly check my whatsapp last seen, or many time she told me No one like you can care about me and she told Time proved me that you love me, when I speak about future and my goal and what I want to do for her she suddenly hugs me and pull me in her hug, it is long story and I don’t want take your all time here,
    But many time she acted bad and I always was patient and later she came back and told forgive me.
    Some times she told it is better to finish and at first I tried to say no and solve issues by the time i have learned to don’t discuss about this and when she told finish I accept and then she came back again.
    Recently she asked me i have fear let be far from each other i need to be alone not you but with no one
    She told if I want to stay with some one I always compare with you.
    But this time I accepted and then I start using no contact rule
    In 2 day she texted me in whatsapp that stay strong, and After passing time i read message and deleted it
    After two hours again she texted about action( meeting in front if her home) she wrote I looked out from home and ….
    didn’t complete her text and in next line she wrote that
    It was not proper text , forgive me
    ( i think she send this to say why she texted me and asked be strong)

    She many times told that time showed me that two years you were patient with me and love me and do everything in best way for me and no one do this
    She told I am wondering why God send you to me and many time
    When she told me let distance or finish and i said ok please don’t call and let me forget you she started to crying.
    She says I am so calm safe and relax with you
    No one can understand me like you.
    But now I have two question
    In no contact rule should I read her message in whatsapp and let ber know that i am reading but I don’t reply
    Or delete them without reading?
    Does no contact rule works for my situation where both stay far so friendly without arguing ( just her request)?
    Please tell me your opinion

  • 7 days of no contact

    she was my best friend. we talked about everything, every hour of the day. I miss that. i would like so much to talk to her even to say stupid things. I know I shouldn’t contact her, she broke up with me saying she needed time to think but she asked me to “keep in contact and write sometimes” so I’m having mixed signals. she sometimes post or likes things on Instagram about missing lovers and stuff like that. I miss her so much

  • Christina says:

    Im struggling with realizing that our marriage is over our children’s family is over. This has been so tough on me. I don’t know what to do.

  • I’m on day 4 after the she said she needed time away from me. We have been together almost a year and have a child on the way. Her daughters dad is not in the picture and calls me dad. We have been fighting a lot since the pregnancy because she has grown to resent me. I annoy her, she doesn’t enjoy her time with me and I saw a message between her best friend and her talking all sorts of bad things about me, calling me insulting names and detailing a dream about cheating on me with her ex. She felt betrayed that I looked her message and said she doesn’t know how she feels anymore. I think about her all the time, the worst time is right when I wake up.. it’s hits me like a punch to the stomach and I feel like all the progress I made the day before is gone. I’m staying strong, I haven’t called or text, I’m guilty of checking her social media seeing her out and about, removing most traces of me and hiding her relationship status.. I realized after that that I needed to remove my social media for now to fight that urge. I want nothing more than for us to work it out since I feel like the problems we’ve had are fixable but I’m focusing on me and what makes me happy.. who knows if by the end I’ll even want to go back to someone who feels the way she does about me.

  • I’ve been through many a heartbreak. Separated from my daughters father when she was just months old. Eventually married and ended up divorced. When I wasn’t looking I found my soul mate. We were in a long distance relationship but I finally felt like I found my better half. After my last trip to see him, he ended it. It was a dumb fight and I relive it over and over. I got on a plane and never heard from him again. I have relentlessly called, and messaged with no response. It’s time for me to not contact him anymore, and it’s so hard. Every waking moment I’m consumed by him. I wake up and crave to hear his voice. Nothing in my day to day life has changed because we didn’t live in the same state. But I still miss him more than I can explain. None of my break ups have ever been this hard. But I have to find to let it go and cut myself off from him. Wish me luck through this difficult journey! Knowing a community of people feel the way I do is sadly comforting. Keep posting together we can all get through the hurt!

  • I’ve been contacting my ex who lives in Oregon while I live in CA, been separated for over 2 months! We were texting and talking on the phone while I went through many emotions! We both say I love you and Miss you often!! I went through her cell phone records and discovered she’s been texting over 20 guys and she says she hasn’t had sex with them and doesn’t really like them but meets at bars! This hurt me so much! I’m just going to block her phone number and I don’t want to talk or see her but I miss her, gonna be hard!

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