Break Up and Divorce No Contact Help: How To Stay Strong And Not Text Your Ex

No Contact Help: How To Stay Strong And Not Text Your Ex

Maintaining No Contact with your Ex-Partner is probably the hardest thing you’ll ever do.

To make it easier, you try three things that will help you resist the temptation, stay strong, and just get through it.

No Contact Help - Let's survive the 60 days together
No Contact Help – Let’s survive the 60 days together

Believe me, I know how horrible this is.

You wake up in the morning, and the pain rolls over you like a tsunami. All you want to do is text your Ex and make this all go away.

But you know that you can’t. It would only make things so much worse.

As a result, you are confused, frightened, and just don’t understand WHY all this is happening.

I know, I’ve been there.

But you are not helpless.

You can make it through and I will show you how.

Why You Are Struggling With No Contact

You have to accept that you are suffering from a form of addiction.

Therefore, the concept of No Contact after a relationship breakup is very similar to alcohol or drug rehab:

Avoid the very thing that you are addicted to.

In other words, get your butt as far away from your Ex as you can.

You need time to heal and detox from your Ex.

I’m sure you are having a rough time with this. I certainly did. It’s hard.

That’s why before we continue, please make sure that you read my extensive guide about how to practically apply the rules to your situation:

No Contact Rule After a Breakup: The Definitive Guide

It’ll help.

“No Contact Is Killing Me.”

There are times when you miss your Ex so much that it hurts. Picking up the phone and texting or calling them would be so easy, wouldn’t it?

But would it also ease your pain or help your recovery?

No, it won’t.

Trust me, it won’t.

On the contrary, actually.

Let me tell you something:

There is NOTHING your Ex can say to you in a phone call or text (or personally) that would reduce your pain in the long run.

They can only make it worse.

You DON’T want to know how they are doing (it is more than you can handle).

Also, NOTHING that you do or say will impress or endear them to you.

This is a fact that is very difficult to accept.

How the No Contact Rule Works

Just to reiterate:

No Contact means entirely NO CONTACT with your Ex, either personally, by phone, through social media, email, or short message.

It means NO Facebook stalking, NO phone harassing and NO parking/driving in front of their house.

Big NO, NO, NO to any of that.

You do this for a full 60 days.

(If you need daily motivation for doing this, you can subscribe to my free newsletter.)

But what do you do when it’s really getting tough, when missing your Ex becomes so unbearable that you pick up the phone and are about to call?

No Contact Help: How to Get Through

Three proven methods will help you stay strong during that time:

1. Distraction

The human brain can only concentrate on one thing at a time. So, if you are about to contact your Ex, have a list of prepared distractions ready that you can put into action immediately.

The best options are things where your brain is involved, where it has to figure out something. For example, do research on a specific topic, take quizzes, try puzzles, etc.

The more work your brain has to do, the better the distraction.

2. Call a Friend

When you are close to calling your Ex, call a close friend or a relative instead — a so-called No-Contact Buddy.

They will talk you out of it, as well as some sense into you.

3. Post HERE!

Let ME be your No-Contact Buddy.

Post in the comment section below:

  • Your No Contact Count (in days).
  • Everything you want to say to your Ex — just get it out of your system! (No profanities please.)

How to Stay Strong During the No Contact Period

DO NOT CONTACT that Ex, put it all here! Unload all your anger and longing into our comment section.

By sharing your No Contact struggle with the LovesAGame Community, two things will happen:

  1. You will find that the need for contacting your Ex will be much less.
  2. The replies of other readers will give you hope and strength.

Having said that, now it’s your turn. Post below and let’s help each other.

Your No-Contact Buddy,
Eddie Corbano

  • I was doing all fine until day before yesterday when something happened to me and I called him up again. It was my 18th day of NC rule. I called him up to discover that he has blocked me.With heavy grief in my heart, I booked an uber to visit his place. Eddie, I can’t tell you, how badly I suffered after visiting him. He abused me and just said “Fuck off”. All my efforts got wasted and now I feel I am a degenerate piece of sh**. Why me? How could he move on so easily? He even told me, “I don’t love you anymore. If at all I feel anything later, will get back to you”. I so want to accept it’s over and move on. But I am scared if ever I get so obsessed to travel all the way for 1.5 hours to again get abused and hurt. I feel so low of myself that at times I wish to die for being so weak. Help me Lord. Help me

  • Day 3 of NC, i finally had enough of being in the friend zone after she dumped me.
    4 days ago she was acting all jealous after a FB post from me last week. So i decided the next day that the emotional roller coaster she put me on in the friend zone was hurting me in the long run. Off course I miss her craze and have strong hopes we’ll be together happily ever after but i have to move on instead…… trying to stay strong for now!

  • MarcellaJ says:

    I feel nauseated. The fact that just 3 short days ago we were laughing in bed together and now he is in the company of the woman he actually wanted. I still have his spare key to his apartment. I’ve been tempted to just go over there and confront them. But know that will be in vain and criminal. How did I lose? I did so much to please him. So much! His every need I immediately try to satisfy. There was nothing he could want for that I didnt go out my way to get. I missed work to help him. I neglected my own needs to help him. Why after all that he says “you’re not worth it”? So my effort was just for nothing. I just learned after 52 years of living that just because I loved and cared for him does not mean he will want to do that for me. It doesn’t mean it at all. I wish it had stopped sooner. I feel it was a colossal waste of time. Time and money I will never get back. In the end he had no love, respect or concern for me at all. I feel like the biggest fool the world has ever had. I’m embarrassed. Also the fact that he was fooling around with our neighbor makes me feel like an even bigger joke. I know her. Spoke to her and she knew I was his girl. Why do I feel like they sit around laughing at my naivety? I’m just stupid when it comes to love. All my defenses are down and I just love with out question and he took full advantage of it…. that’s all for now.

  • I was only with him for four months but finding out he slept with someone else and is started dating someone else(not the person he slept with) is killing me. How does he go from loving me one day and three days later saying he can’t see me anymore because he is with someone else. I feel so degraded, betrayed and abandoned.

  • 2 days no contact. back to work today and it’s tough.

    • Good luck Emily. I am on day three so i feel your pain

  • In 2015 my ex, the only woman I truly love, got back in touch after 23 years. Over the next 9 months we contacted each other dozens of times a day via FB, text or phoning each other. She even paid £10 for internet access when she went on a cruise so she could be in contact. Although we never actually got back together she said I was one of her closest friends and the only person she contacts every day. Then in November 2015 we had an argument over her ex husband who she was in a bitter custody battle. All of a sudden she blocked me on FB blocked my mobile, and landline number. I tried to contact her but she ignored me. Every year I sent her a Christmas card that she ignored. I emailed her happy new year every year but she ignored that too. This year I didn’t send her a card but out of habit I suppose, I sent a happy new year email. To my utter shock she replied saying ‘Happy new year to you too my friend’ I emailed her again telling her I’m sad we fell out and I miss her. She replied telling me she has lost her mam and dad since 2015. She wished me all the best. I’m still blocked on FB.

    I am so confused and upset. Try as I might I cannot get her out of my head. I’m trying to find the strength not to contact her again but I don’t know where I’ll find that strength.


  • My boyfriend of 2 and a half years cheated on me with I know multiple women. He only admits to 1 but I know there was more. He keeps apologizing but it doesn’t make me feel any better. I thought I had the picture perfect relationship. He asked me to dinner to talk about everything and at first, I agreed. But then I thought about it. Why would I wanna elaborate on you cheating on me? I knew I had to go no contact. It’s only day 2 and it’s so hard. I love him so much still but I have to love myself more.

  • Day 0 – Oh my goodness. I’ve set everything up. Unfollowed him on Instagram, Unfriended him on Facebook and have removed all photos/texts from my phone. But I KNOW this is going to be insanely hard. He lives in the dorm next door. Sigh.
    I can hear this teeny voice in my head telling me I deserve better but the flood of pain is just messing everything up.
    It’s so simple yet so hard! If he wants me, he will know where to find me. But if he doesn’t… I’ll have to muster every single ounce of strength to get over this.
    What’s going to happen?
    Only time will tell.

  • On day 15 (fish)- relapsed a few times by checking social media and texting. He broke up with me after I moved to the city he lived in. I gave him everything but he told me he didn’t want a relationship. He put all the blame on me, vocalising lots of hoarded up hate that he never expressed properly, and it broke my heart. Yet I still thought he would send me a ‘merry xmas’ text or something. He wanted to be friends, but I’ve blocked him. I’m so scared and lonely in this new city. I guess he showed his true colours, but I’ve not just lost him, I’ve lost his friends, family, and a whole community. I feel so betrayed and hurt. I don’t know how he can justify his behaviour… he used to be so sweet and kind, but he treated me like crap. I hate this pain.

  • It’s only been 2 days of no contact for me. He broke up with me because he said he has to focus on himself for a while. He told me during the breakup that I’m still his favorite person, he still thinks hanging out with me is the best thing in his life, and he’s still in love with me. I think that’s why I’m having such a hard time resisting the urge to talk to him… I need to tell myself that there is no way he’s in love with me because you don’t abandon the people who mean the most to you. Also, if he wanted to talk to me, he would right? He was my best friend a few years prior to this relationship, and it’s extremely difficult to not text him at all. I don’t want to delete him out of my life because he was my best friend, but I don’t know how else to completely resist contacting him. I feel so pathetic and insignificant and it hurts.

  • Day 1 of an unbelievable journey. Well she broke up with me about 2 months ago and we tried starting over and also tried reverting to a break. I’ll admit I agreed to those things but had no clue how not being a priority in her life would affect me so both of those didn’t work. In the end she told me that she doesn’t want the responsibility of a relationship. And get this, she asked me to be with her just over a year ago. I feel used, hurt, manipulated and flat out sad. Our relationship was great. The things she didn’t like about me, she told me AFTER we broke up. All were easily fixable with a little compromise, in my opinion. She will still respond to anything I text hence the reason I’m calling this day 1. We work together so I ended up engaging in a little too much contact with her yesterday after going 4 days of no contact. I feel so broken. We just celebrated our 1 year anniversary in Costa Rica a month before she called it off. Our relationship was perfect and I still don’t see any signs of where things went left. She has mentioned that she felt trapped and like she was losing her freedom. She wants to be able to do what she wants, when she wants. And I feel like I could have supported that to an extent. I have had the urge to text her all day since seeing her at work yesterday but her responses will be very calm, therapist like responses telling me that breakups are hard for everyone like I wasn’t in a 1 year relationship with her, but like she’s giving advice to a male friend of hers that had his heart broken by another woman. It’s hard man but I try to remember that I’ve been here before. And I know I’ll eventually get over this. Even though there’s something in my mind telling me she will come back, and at that time it may be best to decline and find someone who would never leave me in the manner in which she did. Peace and blessings to everyone going through this. We will make it out!!

  • No contact count: 7 days

    I miss you so much. I know this is for the best and I can’t wait until we can be in each other lives again and work out what that looks like. But I still just want to text you. The thing is, nothing you say will make me feel better. I’d be texting you hoping for you to text me like you did when we were together.

  • Hi my name is Matt. I am a traveling medical professional. I was with my ex for 5 months before my assignment changed. And I had to go a far distance away. ex. Up till then We were inseparable. We spent every possible moment with one another. ABout a week ago was the 6 month mark for me and my ex. She is a 41 yo with a 21 and a 1 yo. She had just introduced me to her son. She was divorced about 8 months ago. Her and her ex were going along for the sake of their son pretty amicably. Until she realized that she still had access to her ex’s security cameras and was spying on him. She saw things and heard things that mad her mad. She claimed it was because she was worried about the well being of her son. The ex started dating a girl from the daycare that their son attends. One week ago she saw that the ex’s gf was holding her son while he was doing something else. She went ballistic. She pulled back from me big time. I tried to console her. But it was to no avail. After about 6 hours she cooled off and she texted me. I had recently bought her a shirt and she sent me some provocative pictures of herself wearing it. I thought things were normalizing. I call her as I do most night and in a moment of weakness I told her how much I cared for her and that I was afraid to lose her. And she dropped a bombshell on me. Saying she is angry all the time(not at me) and that she needs to fix herself. That she is suffering. Not believing what I was hearing I tried to talk her out of it, I mean she just sent me nudes. She said that she loves me but she needs to fix herself. I asked her to fight for us and she said she has zero fight in her. She said she wanted to remain friends. I said I can’t do that but, eventually she got me to agree. Now she told me once she was fixed we could try again. We have been contacting via text and she still sends me texts with heart emojis and says she wants to crawl in bed and cuddle with me and when we talk we always end by saying I love you. She even sent me a text once saying I can’t help the way I feel about you so either She cut off contact or accept it. And that I make everyday better for her. So she accepts it. I am starting to ween my communication down to start the no contact but, it’s Killing me. We texted every day all day and talked each night for 6 months. I also bought a plane ticket for 2 weeks from now to go see her. (Bought it before she got weird) I plan on using it to see if there is anything worth salvaging or ending it completely. I am struggling. I want to have a conversation with her about us but, I don’t want to come across needy and desperate. My mind tells me to just end it and begin healing but the heart is a bear. I guess I should have waited 2 weeks to post this when I will need you guys most. I know this a support for no contact but, any advice is appreciated. Ty in advance.

  • Katherine says:

    I’m getting ready to start. We broke up a week ago but have text messaged every single day and it’s superficial and hurts so much. Everyday I tell myself to stop texting him, that I look pathetic, but I give in and end up texting. I just want so badly to get over him and move on. I want the strength to move on and stop talking to him. I’m setting a goal of 24 hours of no contact and want to build from there

  • Day 4 and going crazy, there is just sooo much in my mind I want to tell him. I already cannot wait for when its all behind me…its like in one of the articles, I know the top is somewhere there but I cannot see it yet 🙁

    • Katherine says:

      Mona I’m s impressed that you made it to day 4. I just want to get to day one. I keep succumbing and texting him and then hate myself. I’m going to make myself do it…I have to. Congrats on getting to day four

  • It’s only been two days. My chest aches and I have these moments where I would be okay and other where I would cry. My heart is in shambles. I tried everything I could and gave my all. I know I have to stay strong but how do I do that when my heart is so weak

    • Katherine says:

      Kennedy, I completely understand where you are at. I feel the same. I want so desperately to be strong but I keep having weak moments and giving in and texting. I want to go today and not text….I want to have one day behind me and move on to the next day


    Omg 16 days no contact and now I’m going crazy..the urges are so bad but i know i can’t but Fuck me its hard

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