Break Up and Divorce No Contact Help: How To Stay Strong And Not Text Your Ex

No Contact Help: How To Stay Strong And Not Text Your Ex

Maintaining No Contact with your Ex-Partner is probably the hardest thing you’ll ever do.

To make it easier, you try three things that will help you resist the temptation, stay strong, and just get through it.

No Contact Help - Let's survive the 60 days together
No Contact Help – Let’s survive the 60 days together

Believe me, I know how horrible this is.

You wake up in the morning, and the pain rolls over you like a tsunami. All you want to do is text your Ex and make this all go away.

But you know that you can’t. It would only make things so much worse.

As a result, you are confused, frightened, and just don’t understand WHY all this is happening.

I know, I’ve been there.

But you are not helpless.

You can make it through and I will show you how.

Why You Are Struggling With No Contact

You have to accept that you are suffering from a form of addiction.

Therefore, the concept of No Contact after a relationship breakup is very similar to alcohol or drug rehab:

Avoid the very thing that you are addicted to.

In other words, get your butt as far away from your Ex as you can.

You need time to heal and detox from your Ex.

I’m sure you are having a rough time with this. I certainly did. It’s hard.

That’s why before we continue, please make sure that you read my extensive guide about how to practically apply the rules to your situation:

No Contact Rule After a Breakup: The Definitive Guide

It’ll help.

“No Contact Is Killing Me.”

There are times when you miss your Ex so much that it hurts. Picking up the phone and texting or calling them would be so easy, wouldn’t it?

But would it also ease your pain or help your recovery?

No, it won’t.

Trust me, it won’t.

On the contrary, actually.

Let me tell you something:

There is NOTHING your Ex can say to you in a phone call or text (or personally) that would reduce your pain in the long run.

They can only make it worse.

You DON’T want to know how they are doing (it is more than you can handle).

Also, NOTHING that you do or say will impress or endear them to you.

This is a fact that is very difficult to accept.

How the No Contact Rule Works

Just to reiterate:

No Contact means entirely NO CONTACT with your Ex, either personally, by phone, through social media, email, or short message.

It means NO Facebook stalking, NO phone harassing and NO parking/driving in front of their house.

Big NO, NO, NO to any of that.

You do this for a full 60 days.

(If you need daily motivation for doing this, you can subscribe to my free newsletter.)

But what do you do when it’s really getting tough, when missing your Ex becomes so unbearable that you pick up the phone and are about to call?

No Contact Help: How to Get Through

Three proven methods will help you stay strong during that time:

1. Distraction

The human brain can only concentrate on one thing at a time. So, if you are about to contact your Ex, have a list of prepared distractions ready that you can put into action immediately.

The best options are things where your brain is involved, where it has to figure out something. For example, do research on a specific topic, take quizzes, try puzzles, etc.

The more work your brain has to do, the better the distraction.

2. Call a Friend

When you are close to calling your Ex, call a close friend or a relative instead — a so-called No-Contact Buddy.

They will talk you out of it, as well as some sense into you.

3. Post HERE!

Let ME be your No-Contact Buddy.

Post in the comment section below:

  • Your No Contact Count (in days).
  • Everything you want to say to your Ex — just get it out of your system! (No profanities please.)

How to Stay Strong During the No Contact Period

DO NOT CONTACT that Ex, put it all here! Unload all your anger and longing into our comment section.

By sharing your No Contact struggle with the LovesAGame Community, two things will happen:

  1. You will find that the need for contacting your Ex will be much less.
  2. The replies of other readers will give you hope and strength.

Having said that, now it’s your turn. Post below and let’s help each other.

Your No-Contact Buddy,
Eddie Corbano

  • Girlwonder says:

    I work in a male dominated field and made the maybe stupid choice of giving one of them a chance. I was falling so hard for him, but he started to bring out the worst. I feel like I turned into a crazy bitch and he was on the fence. He was becoming controlling, stubborn and showing anger that kind of scared me. I was sensing he didn’t care as much I did to smooth things over and fix our communication. It was a short and intense fling so I changed my number and just haven’t reached out. It was driving me mad waiting on him all the time to meet me halfway and talk things out. It’s like he was in control and didn’t care if things were unresolved while it ate at me!! I miss him and I also feel like a slight bitch for just disappearing. I want to hear his voice and make him happy which would make me happy, but everything would be exactly the same. I know it wouldn’t make sense to put myself back in that cycle. It just felt so nice to have that companionship and joy for a little bit. Now it’s just me again.

  • Day 17 of NC after 15 months of long distance relationship. He broke up in the end saying he cannot do this anymore that he doesnt have time for a relationship. It has been terrible for me these past couple of weeks and i dont kniw how much more i can take it. I have a goal of 30 days but it’s a daily struggle…:(

  • It’s been six days of no contact, sometimes I feel like he won’t come back or maybe he’s dating someone else. Sometimes too I feel good,other days too I cry most of the times

  • My brain knows that no contact is necessary. My heart wants to text him or call him – because obviously by doing so he will be convinced to change his ways, accept responsibility for his actions and miraculously transform in to a good partner. My brain knows this is foolery. I need help refraining from contact until my heart catches up to my brain.

  • It’s my 23 day of NC, my ex hasn’t contacted me and I don’t think that she will. On 20th day of NC she unfollowed me everywhere accept Facebook. I guess she doesn’t want me back

  • It’s day 2 of No Contact and it’s hard bc along w the heartbreak I also have anxiety so every morning I find it hard to breathe. The 20th will make it 2 months since we seperated, I threw him out on impulse not really wanting him to leave but he still did even after we both cried and hugged. I continued to sleep w him and see him and try to get him to come which led to fights and my insecurities to drive him away. He finally told me Tuesday he has no plans of coming back and eventually even sleeping together had to end so we could have closure. When he told me that I knew that was it and I told him I couldn’t have contact w him anymore. It hurts so bad, but I know all I’m doing is hurting myself. I dont understand how he can say he’ll always love me and that I left a mark so he’ll never forget me, yet he doesn’t want to be with me. I cant wait til it doesn’t hurt anymore or his life gets more resolved bc hes going through alot right now. Maybe then I’ll get answers or I won’t care to know anymore.

  • Day 2 and feeling a little better already . 10 years of relationship , 6 months of friendship after break up … or lets call it on and off emotional rollercoaster ! Trying to stay strong ..

  • So today Mark’s officially day 1 of no contact. Me and my ex broke up 8 weeks ago, not my choice! The longest we have gone without speaking is 15 days during that time. 9/10 times the contact has been initiated by me. In our last phone conversation 2 weeks ago, he told me he didn’t love me anymore and I would never compare to his ex-wife and there were aspects of my personality that were starting to annoy him. Really lovely words to tell someone who you loved more than anyone else in your life eh?

    Despite all of that I have been holding onto false hope that we would sort things out. Last week he text me unexpectedly twice and I told him unless he wanted to talk about us, not to contact me again. After not hearing from him and trying to call him and message him when drunk on Saturday. I decided I needed to take back some control and I have blocked him from EVERYTHING to try and give myself a chance to heal and move on.

    It’s so hard because I literally worshiped the ground he walked on and thought he was my soulmate. He has completely broken my heart, made me question myself and everything about our relationship. I know deep down that he isn’t the person I thought he was but I am seriously struggling to let go and get over him.

    Any advice would be appreciated – thanks x

    • I’m so sorry for your break up and how you feel. It’s crazy you know deep down inside he was never the one for you but our minds don’t except rejection. Just knowing that someone was there was it was comforting. You should never allow anyone to make you feel inferior to them. You’re strong and don’t need a man to make you feel whole. This too shall pass and you will look back with relief and wonder why you ever doubted yourself. Remember time heals everything!!

  • Kimmie L - K Mckeon says:

    I need advice… I’m trying to hard to walk away from my friend … we wanted to have a possible future together… I’m in a 20 year relationship that’s emotionally abusive .. 2 kids . Please no judgement.. I’m working on leaving .
    My ” friend ” is a workaholic… we get along well.. text mostly.. very rarely see each other.. he’s not a toxic person what so ever … but he’s never ever available.. I always text him first … drives me nuts lol. I’ve tried to just end things because. .. I’m in love with him…I know he has feelings too… but our friendship is all me… I’m sad because of it… I’ve tried to but he’s told me over and over he doesn’t want to lose our friendship… ext . He told me that I’m the only friend that doesn’t want something from him… I’m want to go no contact and see if he’ll even notice. Advice please… no judgements … I’m already kinda sad … I don’t need to feel worse.

  • It’s been 10 days since I initiated no contact. We were together for 2 years, started talking and connecting 7 years ago, long distance. She gave more in the last few months. I got her a surprise holiday for christmas and she was scared of travelling abroad. She was very upset about it and I felt useless. We tried a break at my suggestion but she was clingy at first. Then I was clingy and messaged her a lot asking where she was. After a month we agreed to break up and I just got worse. I initiated no contact when she said she was having nightmares about me. I didn’t ask what they were.

  • Its the second day of no contact rule. I am always checking my viber when he was last online using other no.that he doesnt know about. He checks it daily. Iam having so much hard time and its only the 2nd day. I just hope he will contact me soon. Coz its killing me everyday.

  • AudreyHepburnEyes says:

    I had a great day to myself yesterday and felt centered all to wake up this morning completely miserable, sobbing, and just a confused angry sad mess. I hadn’t yet blocked him on a fake Facebook account I made, so I saw something on there that led me to believe he is talking to a girl as a rebound. It took EVERYTHING in me not message him just everything I’ve had inside me since we stopped talking last Monday. We both agreed to take time apart and eventually talk again. He said he wouldn’t be talking to anyone else. The last week since our break up (exactly a week ago) has been hell. This is my first ever significant break up and the break up itself was terrible. He has anger and control/ trust issues, his delusioned head believed I cheated on him and he lashed out at me saying horrendous things. Up until this morning I was giving him the benefit of the doubt that he just needed time to work on himself. Now I see how terrible that is for me because then I’m just here waiting and hoping for something that isn’t guaranteed. And at that, I’m starting to accept that there were real issues with him, and us as a couple. He has a history of being irrational and treating his last ex terribly. Idk why I thought I was different. I think the biggest obstacle I still can’t accept now is forgiving myself for being with and believing in him. I turned against my friends and family and supported him and now I feel so foolish. I suppose that’s my ego. I’m realizing that I DO want more for myself and out of self love there is nothing more I need from him. I CAN and WILL have other chances with other men although right now I swing between believing we’re meant to be and can work on this and then absolutely feeling disgusted by him, my gut tells me right now what I have to do is practice self love and the truth will come to me in time. I will figure things out and it may not be what I want right now but that will open opportunities for me to receive what I do need for love. I’ve also come to some realization that our relationship was toxic and he is emotionally abusive. It’s a lot to take in and think and feel through. I am one week out from the break up. I am 5 days out of no contact from him (of is request to work on himself and his issues). I will get to day 60, and I will have more answers and hopefully relief than I do now. I look forward to reading this is 60 days. I will probably come and write a lot though. I can’t believe this exists, thank you so much for creating this. This will help me so much in the 60 days of no contact.

  • I keep breaking no contact constantly. Need urgent help!

  • Buddy JNB says:

    It has been a weird roller-coaster for me. I am on day 22 of NC. We had the perfect relationship for 2 years. Then in February she really started to change, became aloof, distant. I sensed it and finally confronted. She confessed that she had fallen out of love with me and that it was over. I took it really, really hard. I had never been in love like this before, and I made every single rookie mistake, like staying friends and texting everyday at first. Then on my birthday I sent her a desperate message asking for a second chance, which she promptly rejected. At that point, I went no contact. She has contacted me twice since. I answered terse but polite responses so that she could understand that I am not planning to be friends. I had told her when we broke up that it was either 0% or 100% in terms of my relationship with her.

    I was starting to get over it, but I found out a couple of days ago that she didn’t just fall out of love, she was actually starting to see another man in the last months of our relationship. I was floored and devastated. She actually used the assistance I was providing her (I am older and provided for her in many ways) to set up a getaway vacation with her new man after our breakup. I now feel betrayed and used, and it is so out of character with the woman I knew and fell in love with. Of course, thoughts of confronting her immediately came to mind as I was managing my anger. However, speaking to a friend of mine, I realize that it probably won’t solve anything. She has moved on and doesn’t care one bit about what I think or whether her actions hurt me. She is not at all aware that I know about her cheating. This leaves me vulnerable, angry, bitter, but I will need to sleep on what I want to do. First, I intend to follow NC to its 60-day conclusion. Then I suspect I will wait until she initiates contact, if she ever does, to let her know that I know everything about her betrayal. At least, that will allow to get it off my chest and move on. It is going to be a long wait, however.

    • hi, I am going though something very similar right now and wondered how you handled it. I have Anger too and not sure what to do with this feeling…

  • Been 6 months now i still struggle hard not to try to contact them. they once block my phone number not sure if it still block but some days its a fight my innerself

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