Do You Feel Defeated By Your Break-Up?

Do You Feel Defeated By Your Break-Up?

It is a loaded phrase to say you have been defeated because the notion is a powerful concept as you strive to heal from what was inevitably a very difficult time in your life. Things that defeat you seem to jeopardize your whole life’s framework whilst eroding the sum of your emotional security to the barest and frailest of cores.

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Are You Too Addicted To The Past?

Are You Too Addicted To The Past?

Have you been honest in admitting to your addiction to the past? We must face it head on with knowledge and understanding. We should also be patient and understanding with those who are facing this addiction lovingly reminding them: “Keep driving. Don’t stop. We aren’t there yet”.

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There Is Nothing Wrong With You – Book Review

There Is Nothing Wrong With You

For most of us comes a time after a breakup or divorce where we ask ourselves that one specific question, “Is there something wrong with me?”.

Unfortunately, this is one of the most destructive questions you could ask yourself.

If you decide to dwell upon this, then you are really damaging your self-esteem.

On top of this, we tend to look into our past for some more “evidence” that there really is something wrong with us. By doing THAT we start to take a really dangerous road.

For all of you out there who are suffering from a broken heart right now, I want to tell you this:

“There is NOTHING wrong with you!”

Period.

A few weeks ago I stumbled over an extraordinary book, which addresses this very topic. It’s called:

There Is Nothing Wrong With You – Going Beyond Self-Hate”.

It’s written by Cheri Huber, a student and teacher of Zen for over 30 years. She is pretty famous for that subject as it turns out, and with good reason.

This book fascinated me the second I took it into my hands, because it looked so “weird”.

It uses a handwritten font and self-made graphics, but the more I read it, the more it made sense. It makes the whole book seem a lot more personal.

The book starts with a simple yet so powerful sentence:

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How To Stop Yourself From Facebook-Stalking Your Ex

Anyone who has been through a tough breakup, and finally come to the realization that the only way to heal is by following the no-contact rule, have eventually come to a point where they feel trapped.

The missing, the need to see, talk, and feel your Ex again can seem so unbearable. How easy would it be to get a glimpse of the “real thing” – a peek into their actual life – by searching through their pages in Facebook, Myspace and all those social gathering places?

A new photo of him/her, what s/he has done during the weekend, if s/he still misses you – all of that seems just one click away.

But would it make you feel better?

Not for a minute, I guarantee you that.

I've done it myself many years ago.

I couldn't bear it anymore. All I wanted to see was an actual picture of her, how she looked like at that time, nothing more.

I was just curious.

But we all know that curiosity killed the cat.

I did some intense searching, (there wasn't Facebook or Myspace back then), and I finally found a little more than I had bargained for.

I found a picture of her and her new guy.

Now this is something that can destroy you in the beginning. I found myself thrown right back to the bottom of my recovery journey, with all its symptoms: panic attacks, deep despair and depression.

I took me 2 weeks to get out of that. And for what? For a short glimpse into her life?

The price was much too high.

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