I’m sure you have noticed it by now: the new design is finally live!

LovesAGame is nearly 2 1/2 years old, and I wanted something fresh and new. The old design was fine, but it lacked flexibility and I desperately wanted a recognizable logo and some fresh new colors.

After several tries with different logo-designers, nobody came up with anything I liked, so I simply sat down and created one on my own. I’m only a hobby designer so this undertaking was very risky, but I am pretty satisfied with it.  I hope you like it too.

Some new things we have now are a paged comments feature.  This is something the site desperately needed as one article has over 400 comments and the site took really long to load.

As we have avatars now, you might want your image to appear beside your comment. This is very easily done - just visit gravatar.com, sign up, upload an image and it will instantly appear beneath all your comments.

If you notice some errors or strange looking pages, please comment here or send me an e-mail.  I will try to fix it right away.

I also very much appreciate your opinion and suggestions.

Thank you!

Your friend,
Eddie

The no-contact rule is the most discussed rule in the whole break up recovery field. You only need to check out the comment section of my article The Secret of How To Get Over a Break Up to see examples.

People know that the rule is essential, but are constantly fighting it - looking for loopholes to break it - which is understandable. Others, however, are reporting that the only thing that helped them to get over their Exes was following that particular rule.

It’s the most important precondition to healing from a break up or divorce.

I actually talk about this in detail in my free newsletter , but I just wanted to add some small things.

The problem with this rule is that we do not recognize its urgency in the beginning.  We only begin to understand after we have had some bad experiences with this “friend thing”.

Why do we aspire to stay friends with our Exes, even though we sense that it’s bad for us?

Let’s examine the “Dumpers” and “Dumpees” separately:

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Who wants to be a REAL man?

What IS a real man anyway?

Maybe it is the lonely “cowboy-type”, who rides through the wilderness, his horse is his only friend. (This type seems to be emotionally unavailable, thus not very useful to women. Have you ever seen the Marlboro Man with a girl in his arms)?

Or maybe it is the brave fireman, running into a burning house unselfishly risking his life to save others?

It is definitely NOT the “artist-type”, who lives in his own complicated world trying to express what is inside him, is it?

Whatever type it is, and I don’t pretend to know the answer, it seems that it’s defined by the skills you have and the action you take, rather than by your looks.

The magazine Esquire has put together a list of the 25 essential skills every man should ever have.

Some of them seem to be very useful and mannish, like for example “give a good massage”, ”wire a ceiling fixture” or “skin a moose”.  (While the latter seems to be the ultimate man-skill, I seriously question its usefulness - especially when you are living in a big town, but hey, you never know).

Others, on the other hand, seem not to make sense for the modern urban man at first glance, like for example “fell a tree” or “kill an injured animal”.

But, see for yourself and make your own opinion.

Here’s the link:

25 Skills Every Man Should Know

Whatever you do, whatever skills you acquire, remember: being a man starts first in your head… I think.

Your friend,
Eddie Corbano

…and still be on my feet.

After talking about the best breakup songs, I received some e-mails asking what songs I was hearing during my own personal break up.

Unfortunately, I made THE fatal mistake - which I don’t want you to do: I listened to all of the heart-wrenching break up songs that not only make you cry, but they kill from inside. I listened to them and wallowed in self-pity.

I wanted to feel bad.

Do yourself a favor and don’t listen to these songs.  (I won’t list them - you know which ones I mean).

But there was one particular song that I listened to over and over again. I somehow related to this song, because I really liked the lyrics. It seemed to express what I felt at that moment back then.

It’s not a typical break up song and it is definitely not mainstream. It felt very uplifting, so I’m sharing this with you.

The song is called “A Case of You”, by Joni Mitchell. I listened more to the Diana Krall version, which is completely different to Joni Mitchell’s. Joni’s version is definitely more uplifting and positive, and it fits better with the lyrics.

Read the great lyrics and listen to the music.

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As if the news that your partner doesn’t want to be with you any longer isn’t enough, they often think they have to try to comfort you - to make you feel better.

What most of the “Dumpers” simply do not understand is: they CANNOT give any comfort. They are only able to give as much comfort as a drug would to a drug addict.

But I don’t blame them.

I’ve been both, “Dumpee” and “Dumper”. The truth is when you care, none of these roles is a walk in the park.

There are certain rules you can follow to break up gracefully, yes, but most of the “Dumpers” have never heard of this.

The result is - they say stupid things that make you hate them, and prolong your healing time.

I’ve listed below 10 of the worst phrases dumpers have thrown at my readers, as reported in the emails I receive. Hopefully YOU will not make the same mistakes in the future.

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The Internet is crowded with self-help books and guides that promise happiness. Some of them are good, some not quite so good.

A guide to happiness, in my opinion, has to offer two things: it has to be to the point and very near to the absolute truth, (whatever that might be).

Would you believe that someone wrote such a guide in only 23 sentences a very long time ago?

A lawyer called Max Ehrmann wrote a concise prose poem following an urge he wrote about in his diary:

“I should like, if I could, to leave a humble gift — a bit of chaste prose that had caught up some noble moods.”

The outcome of this “urge” was a timeless and inspirational prose, which offers a simple positive credo for life.

Desiderata (Latin for “desired things”) was written by Ehrmann around 1920.

A common myth ads a touch of mystery to it: some people believe that the Desiderata poem was found in a Baltimore church in 1692 and is centuries old, of unknown origin.

Be it as it were, the Desiderata is the ultimate guide to a happier life, and should be read and put into practice on a daily basis.

Here it is (I bolted the passages that are important for me/us):

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“Are you real?”

This is a surprising question that I received via e-mail.

That got me thinking.

I thought that I revealed plenty of myself in the blog: my suffering, my recovery, my mission to help people who were in the same position as I have been.

Throughout all of my articles, I have revealed more and more about my past. Hence, why would someone ask the question of whether or not I was a real person?

I refuse to think that my whole story looks like a marketing invention. And yet, maybe I haven’t revealed as much about the PERSON Eddie Corbano as I have thought?

This is when I decided to write some more about my personal story and my life.

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