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As I mentioned in my last article, it is very important that we avoid all circumstances that remind us about our break up, especially in the beginning. This certainly includes listening to sad break up songs, or watching romantic love stories where the hero pursues the love of his life.

Nothing wrong with those, (as a romantic guy, I love watching them), but at the beginning of your break up or divorce they can do more harm than good. Of course, sometimes they can help you to cry out your pain, but in the long run they can throw you into depression and you could end up in the vicious cycle of your memories.

What I do recommend however, is anything that will help you to stay positive.

“Under the Tuscan Sun” is such a movie.

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When you go through a break up or divorce, everything reminds you of your Ex. Sometimes it’s pretty weird, (you’ll know what I mean if you’ve been there). You make the silliest connections just to be reminded of what has happened to you.

That’s why I always recommend cleaning up your house and getting rid of everything that reminds you about your Ex. Nothing should remind you about the past at home.

And remember what is most important: do not torture yourself with unnecessary memories!

What do I mean by that?

There is this curious affinity to suffering. Something forces us to rethink, to evaluate, to relive the moments of the break up again and again (see no 2. here), as if we will gain something very important from it.

In fact the exact opposite is the case: we suffer and move deeper and deeper into the vicious circle of negative emotions (phase 2 of a break up).

Why do we torture ourselves deliberately?

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I would like to share with you what I’ve learned the last two weeks when I was tied to a hospital bed in agonizing pain.

I suffered for over 48 hours, from pain that was so overwhelming that all other reality was blurred out - until an emergency operation finally saved me from madness.

Pain so intense like that is absolute. It’s all there is. Another reality, another existence. You are all physical. Nothing left of your spiritual part, so it seems.

In fact, I tried all of the meditation techniques I knew, (and I am quite experienced with this), to get rid of the pain, but nothing worked.

So finally I gave up and surrendered to it.

Know what I’m talking about?

All there is, is pain

You know in moments like that, all you want is this pain to stop - you would do anything, take any medication. And behind all that, like a lurking giant, is this fear, the defeating fear that the pain will never end, that it will go on forever.

Unthinkable.

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The main problem when breaking up with someone is how to make it painless for the other person. There are some basic things to consider on how to break up gracefully, but there is one fundamental truth you have to accept: there is no painless way to do it.

Knowing this of course does not mean that it doesn’t matter how you break up - for instance breaking up with someone the “cruel way”.

That’s definitely not recommended.

You always have to keep in mind: once you’ve decided to discontinue the relationship, (I’ve shown you how to decide this), this relationship is over for you. Keeping up the relationship after making this decision is not fair, against all rules and simply a waste of time.

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It’s time for another “quotes” article.

This time it’s going to be a collection of some of the most inspiring break up quotes.

What we have had so far, (and many of you gave me positive feedback on those), was some interesting romantic quotes and celebrity broken heart quotes.

What is it that is so fascinating about break up quotes anyway?

First of all, they help us to realize that we are not alone out there. People have suffered from broken hearts back through hundreds of years.

Thinking that you are alone with your break up is not as absurd as many of you perhaps might think. One of the main characteristics of break ups is that we are overcome with overwhelming loneliness. Knowing that other people have had this problem too, and survived, gives you comfort and strength to hang in there.

On the other side, it’s always helpful to see another angle. Artists especially seem to have a different view of the world and life - their gift is to enliven the unaware. They help us to understand what we may already know in our minds, but the feelings in our heart resist believing.

So, I’ve collected the 10 most inspiring break up quotes for you, which not only sound good, but actually make you feel better and more positive about the future if you are going through a break up right now.

Here they are:

The 10 most positive and inspiring break up quotes:

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